Narcissism hurts so many people I just cut ties with my ex who has NPD not surprising he's with someone else. I hate to admit I still love him, I care about him but I'll never go back to him. I really hope one day he gets help and be willing to help himself but I can't worry about him. I need to focus on healing. I have respect for you that you are doing what you are doing to help yourself and others and other people who have this disorder.
@@leolovelife777 I mean if he's actually doing the work with his partner, idk why this would need to be said...God is up for interpretation, but if you are living to give/receive information, that shows growth
I just wish there was a way to help others see that they are a narcissist! I also wish there was a way for their brains to heal fully so that they could make decisions based on logic.
@@philwhatever3903 i think it depends on the person, like this dude here is trying to make his wrongs right, I actually thought I was a narcissist for awhile because of life events but I had 2 therapists say I'm not so ive come to terms with certain things within that, either way information like this helps imo
Do you feel this way about everyone you “fall for” after the high and excitement dies off? That’s crazy to think someone has zero compassion for another human being. No sadness! Wow!
You should do a video on how the Christian faith can make it more difficult to recognize covert narcissists and how a person of Christian faith in a relationship with a narcissist ends up confusing Christian principals with being abused. For example, the principle of forgiving (narcissist and others expecting you to “just forgive”), turning the other cheek, holding the value of avoiding your own hypocrisy, how the smear campaign and flying monkeys concept guises under sharing “concern” with others about you or “prayer requests” etc. Especially if the narcissistic person is a pastor, because their role of spiritual leadership or authority in some people’s eyes makes it very confusing when they continually turn the blame back on you, you feel like they must be more “spiritually developed” and therefore it’s easier to believe the blame shift.
I heard the worst kind of narcissist is a Christian narcissist. For my case, it wasnt the pastor but the committee members who were controlling. I was a new christian then and saw a lot of hypocrisy, gossiping, smear campaign, gathering flying monkeys, blameshifting etc etc disguised as sharing and fellowshiping in bible study groups. I was so distraught and confused with that group of so called christians. Their attitudes were not aligned with God's principles and when I refused to join in their rumour mongering sessions after observing for 3 months, I became their target. They treated the 'church' as their elite christian club and I was ostracised as a member !!! So i left that narcissistic 'church' after praying to God. And God guided me to a wholesome pastor and church that put Jesus Christ in the Centre...not man. My faith in God grew leaps and bound under this new pastor and have learned so much about God, my identity and Salvation in Jesus Christ and the Word of God since. Praise the Lord for Father God has been very Faithful and He reminded me of Psalm 118: 8-9 P/S: You dont have to follow a narcissistic christian leadership if your gut feeling tells you so. They are fake christians; wolves in sheep skin most of the time.
I'm trying to heal from this now. I'm separated from my narcissist husband who was a pastor. It makes things much more difficult and confusing. I had scriptures thrown at me, told I was a demon or a demon was saw in me, and made to feel his relationship with God was greater than mine with God. Then you have to deal with everyone loving him and putting him on a pedestal while you deal with the real person at home (and still have to protect his image in public). It was a lot and very overwhelming. I have felt such a difference with him being away. I feel much lighter but still trying to start the process of healing.
My spouse has taken all of this advice from YT, identified what narcissistic characteristics are and has cleverly tried to pull these examples out of me by starting fights, nagging or embarrassing me. After a fight they'll go to their journal and start writing things down. Tell her family (and even exes) about the "abuse" they endured...etc. Ironically to them, I am a demon filled schizophrenic, narcissist. Literally making the playbook, by using these videos. They may be helpful to some, but they are gold to someone who is trying to weaponize their abuse. It validates their own smear campaign. I imagine this journal will end up on the desk of some lawyer and judge that will determine which parent is more fit.
I've known my Narcissist for 15 years, married for 5. Last month he said he wants a divorce. He is the father of my child and I care deeply for him. I'll never give up on him, but I have learned that I need some intense boundaries with him while he is in denial. I need to protect myself and my family while he is destroying his life. I've always said, you can't make somebody else happy if you are not happy yourself. And over these past 5 years, he has drained every ounce of happiness from my life. I need to get back to who I was.
I heavily related with all this, your story, and the things you went through bro, I just slowly came to the conclusion that I was most likely, (most definitely) a Narcissist. It’s weird, I didn’t really see it as a bad thing haha, I saw it more as a superpower, as a good thing, and as a positive trait. It’s so weird haha, I’m a Narcissist that’s currently healing 🙏🏼🌄👑
This is so good! Thank you for your testimony. This brings tears to my eyes.. God is good. If we turn to Him, He is faithful to heal and restore us. Beautiful story. May God bless your family
It is a sick feeling having to live knowing that something is so off about you that you are highly detached from the others but you have to act as if it is not the case in order to function in society and you think this detachment comes from you being superior, being one of a kind. Then you become self-aware and still nothing changes. I also had another extremely narcissistic friend and he was self-aware. In fact, he would often talk about his self-hatred, insecurities, also narcissism. Yet, he was always the superior one even while mentioning his self-pity. The same applies for me. And it is not about not being able to understand others' emotions, we literally read people's minds. However, as a narcissistic, you get to question the meaning of life, your existence and so on. I really don't think our kind is human at all. I see myself as a conscious AI machine with a slight ability of self-awareness.
wow this is a very interesting comment and perspective. i’ve wondered if narcissists are just another breed of human. I also wondered if empaths didn’t exist would what we know as narcissistic people even care for supply if it was a world of people with no empathy. do narcs seek out supply because it’s something they feel they’re missing because they see how empaths have access to something they do not. I see narcissists as beings who incarnated here in order to help push others into further learning of who they are and awaken about life. maybe I rely too much on other people to love me. maybe I need to love myself better.
As a person dealing with what my therapist calls a worst case scenario malignant narcissist for 30 years, I need to ask. How are your wife’s cortisol levels? Because 25 years of triple and sometimes quadruple the level of cortisol as a baseline due to narc abuse, have finally settled down to an almost healthy level after one year no contact. All while legal and financial abuse and child alienation are in full swing. Now that you’re “self aware” (find one that isn’t hosting a RUclips channel to show that you are the best and most good of all the narcissists) and are working on learning not to be exploitative, is her body telling a story of healing, or is she showing any of those signs that show a person is being abused. Because when it’s covert, you don’t always know.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have a question about leaving places. My mother and ex are both coverts. Both of them would drive to certain stores, restaurants, venues etc with me- only me in the car -then turn around and leave or leave me there stranded! Thank God for Uber. My question is have you done this, heard of this and what is it about?
So I guess you were honest with whoever was treating you at the sex addiction place? I find that unusual, I think most narcissists would try to convince their support team that everyone else is to blame or the partner “made them cheat”. The narcissist I was involved with blamed the person he was with for his cheating or the other girls for being “s**ts” but would never acknowledge that he’d done anything wrong. Same with the violence “we made him do it” he even thought that the police would agree with him that it was our fault when it got to that point.. Would you say narcissism is a spectrum and some people are more self aware and some are in so deep that they will always believe whatever narrative they tell themselves?
I've started questioning myself and my past actions i believe i might be a narcissist I've been Manipulative I've Lacked empathy been Controlling I've Used people I've lied and I've been Vengeful to people who have hurt me i recently started therapy but not sure if I can be helped.
Acknowledging these behaviors takes a lot of courage. Therapy can be a powerful tool for growth and change, and it’s great that you’ve taken that step. If you’re ready to heal and transform, you can explore more here: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough
@@RawMotivations Thank's its only been in the last couple of years that I've been willing to admit to myself I have these issues for a long time everyone else was the problem but it's just the start of my journey.
I think I may be a narcissist or at-least have some strong subclinical traits. I have the tendency to self victimize when I make a mistake or offend someone, my first impulse is to call down pity for their reaction. Within minutes I’m able to see their point of view but I’m always so mad with how people react when I inadvertently cause them harm. I’m well intentioned, and I mean well always, but my first response is always to my own shame and not to what they may be feeling. It’s distressing because I really would like to be a good person. On the flip side, when a situation doesn’t involve me I am deeply empathetic, when I see someone sad or hurt, or even making a full of themselves I hurt with them, but my empathy stops when I’m the offending party. I hate it.
Isn't a self aware narcissist more dangerous than one that's not? Because then it becomes another level of ammunition and an excuse for being the way you are? I'm currently trying to convince myself to cut ties with a narc.
@@RawMotivations If I were aware of any form of narcissism within my persona, I would make it my goal to stop it, or at the very least reduce it. A lot of professionals think it's impossible to change. I'd like to think it's not.
Have you really changed though? Or have you just found a different source of supply on social media as the “reformed narcissist?” I’ve looked at a couple of your comment sections and they’re loaded with people praising you to such excess it feels worshipful. Under this video a commenter said that they’re in so much pain. Your response to their suffering was a solicitation book a time with you, which I assume isn’t free. You’ve found yourself a fountain of praise and cash. I’m impressed. I respect the hustle. But I’m not buying it, your story or your coaching 👀
There are different types of narcissist's overt and covert. He (I am assuming) was covert and through therapy learned to be overt. You are right - he will not stop being a narcissist but if he's more overt then as soon as people meet him this will be more obvious than before (ie having respect or understanding of boundaries, no discard, ghosting etc) and people will have the choice whether to socialize with him or not. Also (having had experience with a covert narcissist) they really tend to use their social media to feed their bad habits and use negative/bad behaviors to get as much supply as possible.
This comment is so disrespectful. He is still somehow getting some sort of supply through social media, but that's DESERVED, and definitely a healthier "coping mechanism" than hurting people. He's actually helping them.
Its breaking the chains of oppression and trying to save USA from destruction is beautiful thing, plus giving kids healthy parents even if not staying together ! I apprecaite him for realizing all this and speaking about it
I think its exposure to bullying early, my mom ridiculed me for crying in front of brother and she never figure thats the energy that caused his hate and disrespect all my life as a girl and woman, plus enviroment didnt like him either because he wasnt nice because of that bully energy he picked up
Honestly, is there any chance my own husband could become self aware? I know the info can't come from me-- and our couple's therapist doesn't believe in narcissism as a diagnosis, so in personal sessions he's suggested my hubs is a "little autistic" (pretty sure my husband being able to turn it off and on is indicative of... well, not freaking autism). Anywhoo, I digress... I love your content and suggestions. Beyond reading (and ideally having him read 'Daring Greatly'), is there anything else I can .....what, use to motivate change? Do I have a snowballs chance in hell, here?😅
I hope you have a new therapist and/or a new husband by now. Or at least got rid of them both. A therapist unwilling to acknowledge narcissism because they don't "believe" in it sounds like a narcissist themselves or a very naive, untrained, uninitiated "professional". Run!
11:52 It's not just the fact you didn't changed since therapy, it's obviously also because she had enough of your emotional abuse for years. That poor woman... Must have feel good to see you becoming a better person, but it's not enough for a victim, I hope she got some kind of compensations and extra-care.
Question: Is it easier for you now to identify narcissistic people since you're self-aware... or have you always been able to? Do you tend to gravitate toward other narcissists or do you steer clear of them?
Narcissism hurts so many people I just cut ties with my ex who has NPD not surprising he's with someone else. I hate to admit I still love him, I care about him but I'll never go back to him. I really hope one day he gets help and be willing to help himself but I can't worry about him. I need to focus on healing. I have respect for you that you are doing what you are doing to help yourself and others and other people who have this disorder.
Seems like the best person to help a narcissist is a healed narcissist.
I don't think he's healed. He is just aware of his personality disorder.
Narcissists never heal
@@slaughterkvng3886 I think they have healed when they realize they have to do the work every day forever
@@slaughterkvng3886 100%
YOU PEOPLE HAVE DESTROYED SO MANY LIVES!
It's good that you can admit this to yourself and try and change for the better, I respect that
Appreciate the support!
@@leolovelife777 I mean if he's actually doing the work with his partner, idk why this would need to be said...God is up for interpretation, but if you are living to give/receive information, that shows growth
Still an abusive narcissist
I just wish there was a way to help others see that they are a narcissist! I also wish there was a way for their brains to heal fully so that they could make decisions based on logic.
@@philwhatever3903 i think it depends on the person, like this dude here is trying to make his wrongs right, I actually thought I was a narcissist for awhile because of life events but I had 2 therapists say I'm not so ive come to terms with certain things within that, either way information like this helps imo
Do you feel this way about everyone you “fall for” after the high and excitement dies off? That’s crazy to think someone has zero compassion for another human being. No sadness! Wow!
You should do a video on how the Christian faith can make it more difficult to recognize covert narcissists and how a person of Christian faith in a relationship with a narcissist ends up confusing Christian principals with being abused. For example, the principle of forgiving (narcissist and others expecting you to “just forgive”), turning the other cheek, holding the value of avoiding your own hypocrisy, how the smear campaign and flying monkeys concept guises under sharing “concern” with others about you or “prayer requests” etc. Especially if the narcissistic person is a pastor, because their role of spiritual leadership or authority in some people’s eyes makes it very confusing when they continually turn the blame back on you, you feel like they must be more “spiritually developed” and therefore it’s easier to believe the blame shift.
This was me for sure.
I heard the worst kind of narcissist is a Christian narcissist.
For my case, it wasnt the pastor but the committee members who were controlling. I was a new christian then and saw a lot of hypocrisy, gossiping, smear campaign, gathering flying monkeys, blameshifting etc etc disguised as sharing and fellowshiping in bible study groups. I was so distraught and confused with that group of so called christians. Their attitudes were not aligned with God's principles and when I refused to join in their rumour mongering sessions after observing for 3 months, I became their target.
They treated the 'church' as their elite christian club and I was ostracised as a member !!!
So i left that narcissistic 'church' after praying to God.
And God guided me to a wholesome pastor and church that put Jesus Christ in the Centre...not man. My faith in God grew leaps and bound under this new pastor and have learned so much about God, my identity and Salvation in Jesus Christ and the Word of God since.
Praise the Lord for
Father God has been very Faithful and
He reminded me of Psalm 118: 8-9
P/S: You dont have to follow a narcissistic christian leadership if your gut feeling tells you so.
They are fake christians; wolves in sheep skin most of the time.
Woof. Yes
I'm trying to heal from this now. I'm separated from my narcissist husband who was a pastor. It makes things much more difficult and confusing. I had scriptures thrown at me, told I was a demon or a demon was saw in me, and made to feel his relationship with God was greater than mine with God.
Then you have to deal with everyone loving him and putting him on a pedestal while you deal with the real person at home (and still have to protect his image in public).
It was a lot and very overwhelming. I have felt such a difference with him being away. I feel much lighter but still trying to start the process of healing.
My spouse has taken all of this advice from YT, identified what narcissistic characteristics are and has cleverly tried to pull these examples out of me by starting fights, nagging or embarrassing me. After a fight they'll go to their journal and start writing things down. Tell her family (and even exes) about the "abuse" they endured...etc. Ironically to them, I am a demon filled schizophrenic, narcissist. Literally making the playbook, by using these videos. They may be helpful to some, but they are gold to someone who is trying to weaponize their abuse. It validates their own smear campaign. I imagine this journal will end up on the desk of some lawyer and judge that will determine which parent is more fit.
I've known my Narcissist for 15 years, married for 5. Last month he said he wants a divorce. He is the father of my child and I care deeply for him. I'll never give up on him, but I have learned that I need some intense boundaries with him while he is in denial. I need to protect myself and my family while he is destroying his life. I've always said, you can't make somebody else happy if you are not happy yourself. And over these past 5 years, he has drained every ounce of happiness from my life. I need to get back to who I was.
Respect. You are helping so many of us understand narcissism better.
Wow- over 5 affairs and your wife stayed?? Strong woman, I hope she’s genuinely okay. I could never do it.
very grateful!
That is not being strong, that is lacking self love.
I heavily related with all this, your story, and the things you went through bro, I just slowly came to the conclusion that I was most likely, (most definitely) a Narcissist. It’s weird, I didn’t really see it as a bad thing haha, I saw it more as a superpower, as a good thing, and as a positive trait. It’s so weird haha, I’m a Narcissist that’s currently healing 🙏🏼🌄👑
WHATEVER IT TOOK, ITS WHERE YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN THE NOW. ALL THAT MATTER. YOU ARE DEFINITELY IN A ROLL IT GROOVE! YEZZZ! 👏
I appreciate that
This is so good! Thank you for your testimony. This brings tears to my eyes.. God is good. If we turn to Him, He is faithful to heal and restore us. Beautiful story. May God bless your family
It takes courage to share✝️
It is a sick feeling having to live knowing that something is so off about you that you are highly detached from the others but you have to act as if it is not the case in order to function in society and you think this detachment comes from you being superior, being one of a kind. Then you become self-aware and still nothing changes. I also had another extremely narcissistic friend and he was self-aware. In fact, he would often talk about his self-hatred, insecurities, also narcissism. Yet, he was always the superior one even while mentioning his self-pity. The same applies for me. And it is not about not being able to understand others' emotions, we literally read people's minds. However, as a narcissistic, you get to question the meaning of life, your existence and so on. I really don't think our kind is human at all. I see myself as a conscious AI machine with a slight ability of self-awareness.
wow this is a very interesting comment and perspective. i’ve wondered if narcissists are just another breed of human. I also wondered if empaths didn’t exist would what we know as narcissistic people even care for supply if it was a world of people with no empathy. do narcs seek out supply because it’s something they feel they’re missing because they see how empaths have access to something they do not. I see narcissists as beings who incarnated here in order to help push others into further learning of who they are and awaken about life. maybe I rely too much on other people to love me. maybe I need to love myself better.
Your videos show a healed narcissist can be very good at helping people recover from narcissistic abuse.
Cow appreciation day😂❤
Honestly that is a super cute story on how you met your wife ❤
As a person dealing with what my therapist calls a worst case scenario malignant narcissist for 30 years, I need to ask. How are your wife’s cortisol levels? Because 25 years of triple and sometimes quadruple the level of cortisol as a baseline due to narc abuse, have finally settled down to an almost healthy level after one year no contact. All while legal and financial abuse and child alienation are in full swing. Now that you’re “self aware” (find one that isn’t hosting a RUclips channel to show that you are the best and most good of all the narcissists) and are working on learning not to be exploitative, is her body telling a story of healing, or is she showing any of those signs that show a person is being abused. Because when it’s covert, you don’t always know.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have a question about leaving places. My mother and ex are both coverts. Both of them would drive to certain stores, restaurants, venues etc with me- only me in the car -then turn around and leave or leave me there stranded! Thank God for Uber. My question is have you done this, heard of this and what is it about?
Wish my covert NPD would watch these videos
That church was wild for that
So I guess you were honest with whoever was treating you at the sex addiction place?
I find that unusual, I think most narcissists would try to convince their support team that everyone else is to blame or the partner “made them cheat”.
The narcissist I was involved with blamed the person he was with for his cheating or the other girls for being “s**ts” but would never acknowledge that he’d done anything wrong.
Same with the violence “we made him do it” he even thought that the police would agree with him that it was our fault when it got to that point..
Would you say narcissism is a spectrum and some people are more self aware and some are in so deep that they will always believe whatever narrative they tell themselves?
So it could be learned behavior and you reprogrammed yourself, wish to learn more
I've started questioning myself and my past actions i believe i might be a narcissist I've been Manipulative I've Lacked empathy been Controlling
I've Used people I've lied and I've been Vengeful to people who have hurt me i recently started therapy but not sure if I can be helped.
Acknowledging these behaviors takes a lot of courage.
Therapy can be a powerful tool for growth and change, and it’s great that you’ve taken that step.
If you’re ready to heal and transform, you can explore more here: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough
@@RawMotivations Thank's its only been in the last couple of years that I've been willing to admit to myself I have these issues for a long time everyone else was the problem but it's just the start of my journey.
I think I may be a narcissist or at-least have some strong subclinical traits. I have the tendency to self victimize when I make a mistake or offend someone, my first impulse is to call down pity for their reaction. Within minutes I’m able to see their point of view but I’m always so mad with how people react when I inadvertently cause them harm. I’m well intentioned, and I mean well always, but my first response is always to my own shame and not to what they may be feeling. It’s distressing because I really would like to be a good person. On the flip side, when a situation doesn’t involve me I am deeply empathetic, when I see someone sad or hurt, or even making a full of themselves I hurt with them, but my empathy stops when I’m the offending party. I hate it.
Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com
Isn't a self aware narcissist more dangerous than one that's not? Because then it becomes another level of ammunition and an excuse for being the way you are? I'm currently trying to convince myself to cut ties with a narc.
A lot of self aware are more dangerous because they don’t care
@@RawMotivations If I were aware of any form of narcissism within my persona, I would make it my goal to stop it, or at the very least reduce it. A lot of professionals think it's impossible to change. I'd like to think it's not.
Have you really changed though? Or have you just found a different source of supply on social media as the “reformed narcissist?” I’ve looked at a couple of your comment sections and they’re loaded with people praising you to such excess it feels worshipful. Under this video a commenter said that they’re in so much pain. Your response to their suffering was a solicitation book a time with you, which I assume isn’t free. You’ve found yourself a fountain of praise and cash. I’m impressed. I respect the hustle. But I’m not buying it, your story or your coaching 👀
I feel the same way. I think this guy is fake. You can see when a narc is talking. He uses narcissism to sell his stuff.
There are different types of narcissist's overt and covert.
He (I am assuming) was covert and through therapy learned to be overt.
You are right - he will not stop being a narcissist but if he's more overt then as soon as people meet him this will be more obvious than before (ie having respect or understanding of boundaries, no discard, ghosting etc) and people will have the choice whether to socialize with him or not.
Also (having had experience with a covert narcissist) they really tend to use their social media to feed their bad habits and use negative/bad behaviors to get as much supply as possible.
😂 a self aware narcissist is still a narcissist. This comment was hilarious tho.
This comment is so disrespectful. He is still somehow getting some sort of supply through social media, but that's DESERVED, and definitely a healthier "coping mechanism" than hurting people. He's actually helping them.
Its breaking the chains of oppression and trying to save USA from destruction is beautiful thing, plus giving kids healthy parents even if not staying together ! I apprecaite him for realizing all this and speaking about it
Does bad childhood has to play a role in ddveloping NPD or it can be totally genetic?
I think its exposure to bullying early, my mom ridiculed me for crying in front of brother and she never figure thats the energy that caused his hate and disrespect all my life as a girl and woman, plus enviroment didnt like him either because he wasnt nice because of that bully energy he picked up
@@Nyc99same environment, some people choose ☀️peace, kind.
Some can't even see it 🌥️.
ho'oponopono may help him. 🙏
Both..
It seems like it has to be some hope if he became self aware there’s gotta be more people that are able to be self aware especially with God
IF they really want to
I m really in pain
Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones
Will psychedelics help a narcissist become aware ?
Differing results on that. Nothing conclusive yet.
Ben, did you have abusive parents?
Honestly, is there any chance my own husband could become self aware? I know the info can't come from me-- and our couple's therapist doesn't believe in narcissism as a diagnosis, so in personal sessions he's suggested my hubs is a "little autistic" (pretty sure my husband being able to turn it off and on is indicative of... well, not freaking autism). Anywhoo, I digress... I love your content and suggestions. Beyond reading (and ideally having him read 'Daring Greatly'), is there anything else I can .....what, use to motivate change? Do I have a snowballs chance in hell, here?😅
When is the last time he was honest with you?
I hope you have a new therapist and/or a new husband by now. Or at least got rid of them both. A therapist unwilling to acknowledge narcissism because they don't "believe" in it sounds like a narcissist themselves or a very naive, untrained, uninitiated "professional". Run!
11:52 It's not just the fact you didn't changed since therapy, it's obviously also because she had enough of your emotional abuse for years. That poor woman... Must have feel good to see you becoming a better person, but it's not enough for a victim, I hope she got some kind of compensations and extra-care.
9:00 you prefered to identify as a sociopath than a narcissist ? 🤔
Whats your Myers Briggs?
ENTJ
@@RawMotivations Thanks! I saw somewhere that ESTP is most likely to be a narcissist and ENTJ was second.
@@Peonies925 I feel special now :,) jk
😞 damn… I’m a entj, but after I abused my last boyfriend, I really felt I needed to change. I’m work in process
@@dayyvalentine4708 Seems 🤔maybe ENTJs are more self aware of their narcissism than an ESTP would be.
No rispect nothing he had nothing
Question: Is it easier for you now to identify narcissistic people since you're self-aware... or have you always been able to?
Do you tend to gravitate toward other narcissists or do you steer clear of them?