Bonjour Aida~ oh boy! This video is a doozy. (I’m an American with funny petite mots like”doozy”). I’m nearly 56 and I’m here to tell you that as gravity takes hold of the body more and more, the well of wisdom you’ve stored over the years starts to overflow. You realize all those things that were so important back in the day hold little meaning now. This is so great when you stop caring that you can no longer wear sleeveless outfits. Who cares?! Something happens in the mind that is so liberating, it’s hard to explain but this must be what wisdom is. 😅 As your physical warranty expires, your mind is open and more forgiving. Liberte 🎉George Bernard Shaw once wrote “ youth is wasted on the young.” No truer words were ever spoken (or written, as is the case). I say, whatever stage in life you’re in, make the most of everyday. If you’re unhappy with a decision you’ve made, undo it. Don’t expect anyone to undo those decisions for you. You are the master of your domain. 🤘🏻😎love your videos. Thank you 🙏
I'm not sure that gravity taking hold of me is such a good thing. I'm starting a struggle with it right now. I hear you that priorities will shift as I get older... but right now it's pretty hard to let go of what I thought I knew from the past couple of decades! But thank you for your words. Some stuff to think on (and look forward to) there!
Does skiing (badly) count for staying in shape? Haha. You'll see that I sensibly counterbalanced that with a drink or three at the après bar. 30s-50s are the best part? It's a gamble. I hope you're right. In any case: no choice but to believe!
Ahhh, at 56 i know those thoughts and questions well.. Ultimately I think the only thing we can measure ourselves by we can find in our own past... are we doing better than we were before, are we growing and doing pretty ok with our lives. As far as the future goes, the bar is always moving, always changing, as it should. We need this discomfort for growth and it keeps life from getting boring. And there is no right or wrong choice although i must add that the "right" choices feel REALLY good -but its a temporary "hit" of feel good- before the bar moves again. The "wrong" choices cause the greatest growth...
If the bar keeps moving as we advance on the future, how can we even get a decent drink?? (joke) I appereciate your words there, which give me some things to chew on. It is true that growing, evolving lets us explore new paths, new ways of being. I just wish that, while doing that, some of my past paths don't get closed off. Multiplicity. I want it all. I want to those "hits" of feeling good -- past, present and future.
I am loving your videos Aida and I think you will always be the cool kid!!!! I think your feelings about your 30’s are valid, but I have found as you get older you stop worrying about how others perceive you and focus more on the things that really matter to you. You can still be cool, dress well and do cool things, but you will only do them if they really matter to you. I also think society and « biological panic « lead people into having children when they shouldn’t. There are plenty of humans in the world and your life will be great either way.
That's a thoughtful response (and thanks for the cool compliment). It would be gratifying to think that the perceptions of others matter less as one ages, though that would be quite a shift to happen. Being more centred as one goes on - I can hope!
I remember this feeling when I was in my mid- to late thirties, and someone told me that she once feared turning 40 but then discovered her 40s were the best years of her life, and then experienced the same thing in her 40-50s. I tried to hold on to that as I grew older, reminding myself that things might be really great. In many ways, they have been. I’m now 54 (! I am? !) and many younger people seem to see me as a “cooler” old lady 😅 Many are surprised when I tell them my age. I still love the things I’ve always loved, but I also appreciate much more who I am. That may be the secret to being okay with one’s aging - still feeling like yourself but having greater appreciation for all that it means. I imagine you as a “cool” old lady with a youthful energy and great sense of humor. You got this!
That raises the question: is the fear of turning 40 an irrational one, built up in one's mind, to find it's not such a big deal when you get there? You sound like you've cracked some sort of secret to be the cooler "old lady". I think I''ll always have my energy, which comes from my curiousity, no matter what the age. The elusive part, for me, is feeling that it's less important what people think of me. Probably a character flaw on my part -- but I can still blame that on youth, right?
Dear Mademoiselle Aida, Reflecting and bringing about questions about one’s life, in my opinion, is a natural phenomenon of growth. All I do know is your programs bring so much joy and insight into a country and city we love so much. We look forward to exploring new French frontiers thanks to you! Best wishes for your own journey to be rich with memorable and inspiring adventures!
That is a positive approach: seeing it all pointing to the phenomenon of growth.... I'm happy to hear my little videos are windows for you to enjoy France at a distance
Firstly, I love your effervescent personality, and I don’t think that age will dampen that part of your spirit. I’m about to enter my 46th year, and let me tell you, the grey hairs bother me sometimes, but then other times I remember what a privilege it is to grow old enough to have grey hairs. I don’t like the aches and pains that I am experiencing, but I know I just have to get off my butt and get moving. I have three kids, aged 24, 16 and 13, so I understand your hesitancy to commit to having children, it’s the rest of your life, but it doesn’t define you. Some days, I feel like I’m still a teenager, other days I feel like I’m a thousand years old, but I’m a dreamer, and I love to laugh, and I’m sure there are people who think I’m immature, but, guess what? I don’t care what they think. I was read something that resonates with me still, ‘what other people think of you is none of your business!’ I repeat this to myself when I feel a bit insecure. Perhaps this could become a bit of a mantra for women as we age, or even when we are younger.
I hear you on so much you say there. And thank you for the nod to whatever my on camera personality is. And I think being a dreamer is the best aspiration there is.
I think the answer to your questions are right in front of you… in choosing to make these insightful and different videos to express yourself. The happiness you derive from asking all those questions is a kind of answer to your question I’d guess. I find it’s amusing to see how the French are burning Paris over the retirement age being lifted to 62. Here it’s like 70! Anyhow, I’ve never discovered any crystal clear answers - I think the answer is to just enjoy perfect moments in each day and be content with that. So good luck, and thanks for your videos! ❤
Enjoying daily perfect moments sounds like a good recipe, at least to stay anchored in the benefits of here and now and not constantly projecting into the future. And thanks for calling my videos insightful! Maybe, at least, that's one quality I've been able to develop as age and stop to consider the path traveled, the point I'm at, and where I'm going.
Speaking as a 62 year old, we make choices that put us on a path to have opportunities, both personal and professional. For me, the really significant ones - maybe six in my life were almost or entirely happenstance. The rest is just “learn as you go.” I applaud you for choosing happiness over the career that wasn’t doing it for you. I just made that decision myself. I am a slow learner! My wife and I love your videos and think you are delightful. Keep your eyes open - you never know what’s next. You’re just getting started.
Thanks for the insight. For me the balance between fate (´happenstance') and agency is key. I'm a lifelong learner, and enjoy adaptation a lot, but still want to believe I have an oar in the current and am able to steer, after a fashion, even if imperfectly. I'm so happy you and your wife are enjoying my humble videos!
I’m 63, and I’m happier now and more at peace than at any point in my life. I truly love each day! If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I would say “Relax, it’s all going to be ok”. I made tons of mistakes along the way, but those mistakes all brought me to where I am right now. Thank you for your many videos, including this one, they are all lovely!
Thanks for taking the time to watch them! As for age and reflection: I'm not ready to say -- yet -- that I've reach my destination. I want my options to be as open as for any youthful adventurer. Mistakes, I've made and will make again, I'm sure.
You are so beautifully vulnerable, it's courageous, and it's to ask a deep question, a universal question we all have to go through. You asked for advice so here's mine: Live in the present moment for that is where life is. My 30s were tough for me for similar reasons as you state (aging), and I have learned the present moment is the only place where we can feel time -because we are fully present for it, to be present to see it and experience it. When in the present moment, we buy the ticket and we saw the movie, we didn't space out and miss it. Try not to let anxiety rob your present moments, where life is. Everything's gonna work out. Don't worry so much. Your channel is spectacular... perhaps that's a part of your path in life and you had to do a lot of "character development" in order to make this channel so good. Love your channel and your philosophizing, your musings. ❤ And remember the natural law of impermanence. It is everywhere, deeeply embedded in the universe. Without impermanence you wouldn't be born, nor would you grow. Meditating on impermanence puts things into perspective, and can help one let go easier, because it's a natural law. Keep creating these remarkable videos please... great cinematography, full of mental nutrition. You're a blessing on RUclips. 🌹🌞
Some good advice there. I'm listening. Be more in the present and not allow anxiety to creep in over the changes that are coming down the road. Thanks! And thanks for the words of appreciation on my modest channel!
I had a crisis in my 30s. It’s all an illusion. In summary, I embraced my own mediocrity and found that liberating. I just take each day as it comes. I also quit drinking and that helped. Yeah, and having kids has been good. I know it’s not for everybody. I am just so busy with them. Maybe before having kids I had time on my hands to ruminate, but now I just don’t have the time.
Some sage advice there, and you've obviously given a lot of thought to what you wrote. I appreciate the time and especially the insight you've generously shared. And I agree: there is an inordinate weight on women to rely on looks to navigate society. I'm no doubt guilty of pressing that too -- at least in the realm of RUclips and appearing before a camera. But as you rightly point out, our self-worth needs to be broader and more varied than that. I hope that I'm doing enough to expand those other horizons. I refuse to have superficiality reign over my life. But questions still persist about how well I'm doing at that, and indeed how I compare to peers. I wish for greater self-confidence, though I realize that is earned, not wished into existence. Where that fails, however, yes -- there is still humor!
Every time I watch one of your videos (I’m travelling to Paris for the third time in 6 weeks and your vids have been very informative) I think there is not a better looking women on RUclips than you. Wow. I believe that beauty comes from within as much as your physical attractiveness: it’s confidence, intelligence, it’s your presence, your vivacious personality, your style, as much as your looks. You have all that going on in spades and I do not believe for a second any of that will ever fade over time. I’ve learned at at age 58 that having some purpose in life trumps everything else. It’s only been a couple years since I figured that out. I sense that, as you say, you are having some existential issues there. Learn to be happy in your own skin. By the way, your videos rock, some of the best produced content on the internet.
@@jimmason8502 I'll just take up the comment that purpose trumps all else in life. That would be ideal. Myself, I feel like I drift sometimes. But seeking purpose does help!
Hi; I am 63 years old and like your idea that "In the meantime, I am going to just leave life to the fullest as much as I can." You are so natural and sincere. The video is great. By the way, I have began to think of similar musings at 60s.😂
Thank you so much for the comment. A lovely compliment. And does this mean I'm ahead of the curve, reflecting on this now? Or just preoccupied with it way too early?
As a 48 year old who decide not to have children, I can tell you it was the BEST decision I ever made. Pretty much every day I realize how lucky I was to have dodged that bullet. 😊
Hi Aida, since you asked for advice from an older person, let me give you some "sobering" thoughts from mid-50s. Perhaps let me express the gist in abstraction (I know French are great at it): life consists of symmetries. You can either stay mildy anxious or become blissfully free, depending on the price you pay. For the former, you need no crisis slapping you. But for the latter, you need an abruptly adverse occasion of life thrashing you very hard, like full-scale IRS investigation lasting a year or two, your in-law being jailed and you do your absolute best to get him/her out. It must be of such magnitude as to make you say afterwards "what the hell, do your worst" to just about anything that happens to you. Then, congrats, you've just joined the rarefied club of "been there, done that." (I know, real life's adventure does not occur as in Indiana Jones or Mission Impossible movies but in prosecutions, betrayals, investment losses, tax audits, family troubles, mais c'est la vie.) You'd rather live without the drama? Sorry, this is not your choosing. Then why am I telling you this? To suggest you a frame of mind in advance. In after years should troubles rise to cloud the blue of sunny skies (knock on woods), just remeber you've earned the right to join the club of complete freedom soon afterwards. Things will be hectic, but you will manage, get stronger by day and emerge unscathed, trust me. On the other hand, if nothing like that happens to you, voilà, that was the life you have wished for. So you are good either way. Of course, there is a symmetry to the above: if a drama happens, that was not what you wanted, and if nothing happens, you keep living with anxiety. You are not good either way. But now that you know, you can pick the right side of symmetry in your mindset - i.e., half-full rather than half-empty, as your mindset is up to you. Sorry for my long windedness - I am a Korean and English has never been easy for me. I very much enjoy your great channel and I think French "politeness" in fact has very much in common with Korea's #1 import from ancient China: Confucianism. Its 4 tenets are: compassion (pity), fairness (justice), respect (politeness) and wisdom (judgment). I am your channel's fan (on my first day!), Napoleon and Rousseau are still my heroes, and hope to understand the infinitely alluring French mind! Thank you.
Some valuable advice then that I'll take on board, reflect upon. Thank you for taking so much time to set out your thoughts and experience. I hope that you get through your own travails OK. And I appreciate learning about the Confucianism approach to politeness - much to learn there.
This is what I think many of us love about you, Aida: your candor. But to me, your questions raise more questions. Where does family figure in your life? It seems to me from watching the vid about your parent's boat that family is central to who you are. Aren't kids our legacy in this world? Mind you, I, myself, don't have them, so what do I know. And of course, finding the right person to have them with is everything. So I hope you will keep meeting people and seeing the world and that the answers will come. We want only the best for you, Aida!
This video, and I guess all of them, are taking an inside-looking-out view of things. I'm not really going to bring family into it, because what I'm talking about is more universal than just what's happening in my world. Even if it is a vlog. I'm happy to hear that candor is being well received, and seeing the world really is an enlightening experience!
Haha, 30's sounds great to me. Over the years it rarely turns out the way we plan it. I made so many wrong choices. So, I learned to go with the flow. And, don't forget, it's about the journey. However, I feel it's good to set some goals and take steps towards them. ~ You seem great!💗
30s sounds great to me.... I'm now worried thet worrying about my 30s is robbing me of the pleasure of my 30s! (Only half-joking there.) I totally get that people further along this mortal coil see the 30s as a great, youthful time. From my perspective, though, it's to be compared with my wilder 20s. Maybe one fear is that all that frenzied energy of the 20s is proof of life, and my changing tastes and mode of living in my 30s still feels a bit too stately, less representative of my 'inner child'.
Hello Aida, this is a beautiful video. Honesty and authenticity always go so far. As for life, there is an expression in English - "chose your hard" - that may apply. In other words, no matter what you choose, life will be a challenge and you will wonder if you made the "right" choice. That's how it's been for me. There are no immediate answers, because we understand / know (as in connaitre and not savoir) life backwards while we live it forwards. And, that's ok; just keep plugging along. I'm doing the same.
Seems like you're doing alright from the outside, you've done and seen a lot as your younger self had hoped, but I definitely understand the feeling. Hard to know what's "enough."
It feels like we're all feeling our way along this path called Life... and the path itself keeps shifting and buckling as we move along it. Yeah, overall I feel like I'm doing OK, and have done a lot. But I also see how much more there is to do out there... and sometimes it feels like I missed a crossroads along the way!
Very much enjoying your videos (just found tonight). Love Paris, always stay in 13th by 5th. Will try some of your suggestions when there in late Sept. About the life stuff: it's always will be like this. 20's , 30's 40's, etc. It's the comparing with expectations from yourself and from others. You seem to have a good sense of self so trust that. I did have kids after thinking i never wanted any (had at age 34, 38, 41) and it's been both joyful and painful. But what isn't? My friends with no kids feel the same. Just be open to everything, don't shut a door that may bring happiness whatever it is. You are doing great--and it's always good to reflect on your life every so often! Keep on going with your RUclipss.
Thank you -- for watching the videos and for taking the time to share a comment on them. (And that's a good spot: the 13th bordering the 5th, well done.) I'm hearing you on your experience having kids. And for pursuing happiness. I think in my case, I'm on a good path to happiness, and it happens to be sans enfants. So all good. But you can be sure there will be more reflections on life to come!
I recently attended a CES reunion. We're all in our 50s now. The women had mainly aged better than the men, so don't start thinking now that you have to become decrepit too soon! Looking back I think I was at my most attractive in my 40s.. and I met the best man then, who I married. My only advice about aging as a woman if that you remember to look into HRT when the time comes. My girlfriends who didn't do this in time have really suffered. Hopefully in 15 years when you need the help it'll be easier to access. I know, not philosophical advice, but the biggest game changer I've seen.
I just turned sixty. I had a midlife crisis when I was 18 and started my first, dull, badly paying job and thought "Is this what people do?? Their whole lives?? Nooooooo!!!" And no adult knows anything about life; we all fudge our way through it, make mistakes and wrong choices, spend our time and money on the wrong things. Some of us get lucky and some of us don't. Best advice : Have lots of rewarding sex with the right people while you're still young! I'm not being facetious. The rest of life is what it is, you don't have a lot of control really. Nobody dies regretting things they have done more than the things they didn't.
Bonjour Mademoiselle Aida :) One of my friends was going through a similar "crisis" recently and I offered her some advice. I told her to uncouple her physical appearance from her self-identity as much as possible. Society seems to tell us that our physical appearance is of paramount importance: we are bombarded with advertisements for beauty products and the latest fashions, attractive people get more attention on social media and dating apps and there is the old saying that "first impressions last." But we are never really in control of our physical appearance, sure we can fine tune it, but to a large degree it depends on genes and luck. And it will inevitably decline. I have heard some older women complaining about being becoming "invisible" to men. In their younger days they relied heavily on their physical attractiveness to get the attention of men and it is no longer working for them. They sound sad, bitter and angry, but it doesn't have to be like that. I can tell from your videos that you are intelligent, thoughtful and have a quirky (and perhaps mischievous?) sense of humour, and I'm sure you have many other great attributes as well. Let them form the bulk of your self-identity, because unlike your beauty, they will never fade.
Aida, L love your videos and will visit Paris for the first time in 10 days. I appreciate all your tips. However, I think the thirties are a little too early to call it a mid-life crisis, but it never hurts to reflect on your experiences, accomplishments, skills and relationships. Just don’t dwell on it too long. You still have a long life ahead of you. Based on your concerns expressed in this vid I’m not sure if you fully realize how much you touch people and help us with your store of knowledge and common sense. I think by the end of the video you reached a nice conclusion. Take it day by day and try to live life to the fullest. One step after another. One breath after another. Btw, your English is fabulous. Did you grow up in an English speaking home or country? Without invading your privacy, I’ll bet many of your readers would like to know more about your life story.
That insight and comment is comforting to read, thank you. I hope I didn't come across as complaining too much. As for my English -- I picked it up entirely in school and watching English-language shows, and music. I've lived in a few countries, but never an English-speaking one, no.
A man approaching 50 and those stationary ledged (whatever they are called) .. feels like everything is standing and kind of so purposeless .. damn ... love your stories ... love from Barcelona and Delhi
Answering the questions of getting older are always on the minds of people. Have we made the right decisions, are we on the right path? What is my purpose in life? Where is my life headed, what are my goals? Keep your wits about you. Plan ahead. Live in the present, prepare for the future. Pursue hobbies and interests. Enjoy life, and let life come to you. You'll find your way in life. Everything worthwhile takes time. You have a positive image and attitude on life. Things will work out for you. Mark my words.😊
Bonjour, I hope you feel better a year after this video. I am almost 50. Never had a crisis but I cannot say I can steer everything, only I wish that I made some choices earlier. I know make choices a lot quicker and focused than 5 years ago. I also do regret not doing certain things 35 years ago. Learning to say no helps. Perhaps your beloved Marais partially only exists in your memory from when you started living there and maybe it is time to move to the next scène. LA Breakfast, Baby hamburgers, mini Eiffel towers??? But that is something only you can decide.
A good pointer, to try to minimize regrets now and try a lot of new stuff. And yes, maybe the Marais I love has gone. But there are spots in Paris I could see myself living in.
Bonsoir Aida, I'm sad to hear about your midlife crisis. I hope you overcome it. Nice skiing skills. 🇫🇷 has 4 seasons like most northern European countries. France is technically western like the UK 🇬🇧, which also has 4 seasons for an island nation
Thank you for reaching out. It's OK, I'm navigating this period in life, and in good health, so it's all fine. And thanks for the skiing compliment. I find it so frustrating to not get better at it faster!
Bravo..Jaime bien ta philosophie. Ce n’est jamais trop tard quand même. Attends j’ai 74 ans et je trouve tous les jours de nouvelles expériences….bonnes et mauvaises bien sûr. La vie se déroule comme il faut et la pire des choses est de gaspiller son temps…ce que tu ne fais pas. Alors bravo et bonne continuation ! Michel
Actually, no. I kind of know what I would have to do to blow up the channel, but not willing to do a Greatest Hits revival circuit. I'm more interested in doing RUclips on my iconoclastic terms, the algorithm be damned.
Well as a 32 year old man ive started to feel that i wish i was traveling more. And also i do want a wife and kids but im single and have been for 4 years soon and i dont really date.. I just assumed you had a partner and that was the one filming? is that not the case? Either way if you are single or not or want a family or not just try to like you said live life and maybe spend some more time pondering over if you want to really live freely without kids or to have a warm and cosy family. You can still travel, have dinners, do alot of things it will just be different.. Anyway like the deep topic of this video. Keep up the good work and greetings from Sweden.
Travel is a bug that should be given free rein. I think on kids my mind is made up. I love the direction my life has now. And yes, more videos of deep subjects on the horizon!
You mention that you are having an internal discussion about the possibility of having children. I would like to share a bit of my own personal journey here, in the hope that it might offer a different perspective for your consideration. As a male, I cannot speak to your concerns directly, but only as an observer. We can never really know what others truly feel as opposed to what image of themselves they project, so I've never been entirely sure of where I sit on the 'weird scale', but my mother once told me that I was always an 'old man in a child's body', so I may be pretty far out there on the tail of that Bell curve...:) After much thought, in my mid-teens I came to the conclusion that the battle of 'Self Interest vs Greater Good' was going to end in a stalemate and we would stumble into a climate crisis of some sort and so it appears. At that time I decided that I couldn't see a future world where my child might reasonably expect to have a better life and thus I didn't think children was a reasonable choice. When I turned 20, and was finally able to find a doctor who would agree to perform the procedure, I had a vasectomy. There are a lot of very personal considerations in making the (active) choice to not have or not have children. I got a lot of push back on my choice from parents, family, & friends, but I have never regretted it. Whatever you decide for your future, if you are at peace with your choice, it is the right choice for you. warmest regards - rick bradner
Hi, and wow, that is one of the most heartfelt, open comments I've had. I can see you've thought hard and long about what you wrote, and it speaks to a great debate that went on in you. A lot of people might jump a little at the idea of making a momentous choice at age 20, but that probably discounts the lucidity many of us can dedicate to thinking through personal pathways, at whatever age. Also, for a man, that procedure is far from irreversible; it essentially brings the balance of choice more toward your own inclination, and less away from 'accidents'. So thank you for your courage in opening up like that. Myself, though on a different pathway, with a different mix of considerations, I too am happy with the choices I'm making, have made. Above all, I'm happy having agency in life, which I guess for me is the most defining characteristic.
@@amusingaida Right On, Because I'm In My Mid-30's Too, And Time Reminds Me That 40 Is Right Around The Corner Too. So That's Why I Had To Wake Up Within Myself & Starting Putting My Life Into The Proper Perspective & Start Maturing. 💯
You may have something there. The eye of the beholder, and differentiated social norms. I guess part of that is that women are more often held to a standard of beauty (even by other women), while men, who can be as well, are also held to a standard of economic status, which can also fade but on a longer timeline..... Bref, food for thought!
@@amusingaida That’s true. There are many different standards in life. I was thinking of your comment in the video referring to appearance. Just look at the male protagonists in movies compared with female. A male heartthrob can have almost no muscular tone, even a big belly, and wear baggy pants with a suit coat whereas the women would never hold a leading role looking like that unless it was the focus….how this poor hag turned her life around or some such nonsense. 🙄😄
I'm a 58, cisgender female. I've been where you are. Life will get better when you stop caring how others perceive you. While aging in Western culture is tough on women, I'd never be young and stupid again for all the money in the world. I've grown to like the person I've become. I bet you will like who you become too. 😏
It's reassuring to hear that it might get easier. If I'm honest, I can't say that the perception of others doesn't matter. But you pain a picture of a better future.
There is no such thing as getting old. The body ages of course, but the mind does not, it simply matures and becomes more powerful. How? If you think about any problem, your more mature mind can view a clearer path to your destination. We're all going to the same destination, that part is not optional, the difference is that a clear mind finds a smoother road to enjoy the ride, where as a confused one steers one onto a bumpy road. What is a smoother road? Live for today, enjoy the moment and appreciate every little detail of your path. Now, go on and live! En passant, superbes vidéos, j'aime bien ton sourire charmant et tes beaux yeux pleins de vie. Salut!
Well, having no kids is a choice, and a personal one. And in my case it's still a dilemma between not wanting that imposition on my life and knowing that the fork in the road in speeding down on top of me when the choice becomes definitive. As for Les 3 Vallées : it was great. Less snow than last year (despite the snowfall seen in the video), but I am slowly improving on my skis.
OMG, how much this video amused me! :)))) Sorry 😁 I think you are taking your anxieties too seriously. Live your life the way you like and ditch the "laws" of society. And above all, come to terms with the fact that you can't have it all in life. And then you will be fine with yourself. No more anxieties!
Bonjour Madame😂 Do you want a relationship? You don't have to decide now what you want. If you don't want children, that's fine. Do you want another person in your life. Male or female? Don't look back in anger, look forward to your future, alone or with somebody. If you do, then find him/her and let them in to your life and share it with them. Perhaps you are focussing too much on ither people's lives rather than concentrate on your own passage. Yiu say you have questioned what you have achieved hitherto. Well quite a lot. You have oresented and produced well crafted vlogs about Paris and yourself, you have liced in 6 countries, and you had the maturity to quit a well-paid job because you were not enjoying it. That took courage. You have achieved quite a lot. You have a long way to go. You have taken the road less travelled. Slow down and manage what is thrown at you.
You do not need anybody's advice because there is only one of you in this world, you are unique and everybody else has different circumstances than you. You appear to be a well centered lady. Be thankful, and continue to search for the treasure at the end of the rainbow. Remember is not the destination, but the journey. Enjoy . . .
An interesting vid and a departure from your usual fare but we all get 'Existential' from time to time. A couple of other people have commented that as you get older you give less of a F&%k which helps :) When I reached my early 50's I discovered meditation, yes I know the silly old fool with his special robes, prayer beads and essential oils, but it gives perspective because you discover that 90% of what your brain thinks is in fact complete garbage so it helped me to ignore a lot of the things you are listing here. Getting older is not easy to deal with psychologically but you are still a beautiful woman 'Madame' For your next vid I am looking forward to a 10 hour discourse on the varied teachings of the great French philosophers while you smoke a pipe and look out of the window thoughtfully. :)
I do have "musing" in my channel name. Yeah, some breezy travel insights but also these reflections on the lighter (or darker) states of being are part of the fare here. I'm happy to hear that existentialism is not a French monopoly. And I sincerely am touched to see these theme getting to many thoughtful replies. I'm not alone in thinking/worrying/struggling with this! Meditation sounds like it worked as a solution for you. I've dabbled a bit, but also have other mental occupations that keep me on an even keel (cooking is one of them). I could definitely do a video about French philosophers! But might skip the pipe bit....
@@amusingaida It could get complicated if you mention Monsieur Magritte :). I have watched all of your vids and they are very enjoyable, have you thought of doing an ASMR vid?
Bonjour Aida~ oh boy! This video is a doozy. (I’m an American with funny petite mots like”doozy”). I’m nearly 56 and I’m here to tell you that as gravity takes hold of the body more and more, the well of wisdom you’ve stored over the years starts to overflow. You realize all those things that were so important back in the day hold little meaning now. This is so great when you stop caring that you can no longer wear sleeveless outfits. Who cares?! Something happens in the mind that is so liberating, it’s hard to explain but this must be what wisdom is. 😅 As your physical warranty expires, your mind is open and more forgiving. Liberte 🎉George Bernard Shaw once wrote “ youth is wasted on the young.” No truer words were ever spoken (or written, as is the case). I say, whatever stage in life you’re in, make the most of everyday. If you’re unhappy with a decision you’ve made, undo it. Don’t expect anyone to undo those decisions for you. You are the master of your domain. 🤘🏻😎love your videos. Thank you 🙏
I'm not sure that gravity taking hold of me is such a good thing. I'm starting a struggle with it right now. I hear you that priorities will shift as I get older... but right now it's pretty hard to let go of what I thought I knew from the past couple of decades! But thank you for your words. Some stuff to think on (and look forward to) there!
@@susanmaltase720 you're ageing like a fine wine!
Staying in decent shape to have energy to do stuff is the hardest part, otherwise I think 30s-50s could be the best part of your life.
Does skiing (badly) count for staying in shape? Haha. You'll see that I sensibly counterbalanced that with a drink or three at the après bar. 30s-50s are the best part? It's a gamble. I hope you're right. In any case: no choice but to believe!
@@amusingaida Downhill skiing is pretty nice as gravity does most of the work, I guess cross country skiing is a better indicator 😅
Ahhh, at 56 i know those thoughts and questions well.. Ultimately I think the only thing we can measure ourselves by we can find in our own past... are we doing better than we were before, are we growing and doing pretty ok with our lives. As far as the future goes, the bar is always moving, always changing, as it should. We need this discomfort for growth and it keeps life from getting boring. And there is no right or wrong choice although i must add that the "right" choices feel REALLY good -but its a temporary "hit" of feel good- before the bar moves again. The "wrong" choices cause the greatest growth...
If the bar keeps moving as we advance on the future, how can we even get a decent drink?? (joke) I appereciate your words there, which give me some things to chew on. It is true that growing, evolving lets us explore new paths, new ways of being. I just wish that, while doing that, some of my past paths don't get closed off. Multiplicity. I want it all. I want to those "hits" of feeling good -- past, present and future.
I am loving your videos Aida and I think you will always be the cool kid!!!! I think your feelings about your 30’s are valid, but I have found as you get older you stop worrying about how others perceive you and focus more on the things that really matter to you. You can still be cool, dress well and do cool things, but you will only do them if they really matter to you. I also think society and « biological panic « lead people into having children when they shouldn’t. There are plenty of humans in the world and your life will be great either way.
That's a thoughtful response (and thanks for the cool compliment). It would be gratifying to think that the perceptions of others matter less as one ages, though that would be quite a shift to happen. Being more centred as one goes on - I can hope!
I remember this feeling when I was in my mid- to late thirties, and someone told me that she once feared turning 40 but then discovered her 40s were the best years of her life, and then experienced the same thing in her 40-50s. I tried to hold on to that as I grew older, reminding myself that things might be really great. In many ways, they have been. I’m now 54 (! I am? !) and many younger people seem to see me as a “cooler” old lady 😅 Many are surprised when I tell them my age. I still love the things I’ve always loved, but I also appreciate much more who I am. That may be the secret to being okay with one’s aging - still feeling like yourself but having greater appreciation for all that it means. I imagine you as a “cool” old lady with a youthful energy and great sense of humor. You got this!
That raises the question: is the fear of turning 40 an irrational one, built up in one's mind, to find it's not such a big deal when you get there? You sound like you've cracked some sort of secret to be the cooler "old lady". I think I''ll always have my energy, which comes from my curiousity, no matter what the age. The elusive part, for me, is feeling that it's less important what people think of me. Probably a character flaw on my part -- but I can still blame that on youth, right?
Dear Mademoiselle Aida,
Reflecting and bringing about questions about one’s life, in my opinion, is a natural phenomenon of growth.
All I do know is your programs bring so much joy and insight into a country and city we love so much. We look forward to exploring new French frontiers thanks to you!
Best wishes for your own journey to be rich with memorable and inspiring adventures!
That is a positive approach: seeing it all pointing to the phenomenon of growth....
I'm happy to hear my little videos are windows for you to enjoy France at a distance
Firstly, I love your effervescent personality, and I don’t think that age will dampen that part of your spirit. I’m about to enter my 46th year, and let me tell you, the grey hairs bother me sometimes, but then other times I remember what a privilege it is to grow old enough to have grey hairs. I don’t like the aches and pains that I am experiencing, but I know I just have to get off my butt and get moving. I have three kids, aged 24, 16 and 13, so I understand your hesitancy to commit to having children, it’s the rest of your life, but it doesn’t define you. Some days, I feel like I’m still a teenager, other days I feel like I’m a thousand years old, but I’m a dreamer, and I love to laugh, and I’m sure there are people who think I’m immature, but, guess what? I don’t care what they think. I was read something that resonates with me still, ‘what other people think of you is none of your business!’ I repeat this to myself when I feel a bit insecure. Perhaps this could become a bit of a mantra for women as we age, or even when we are younger.
I hear you on so much you say there. And thank you for the nod to whatever my on camera personality is. And I think being a dreamer is the best aspiration there is.
I think the answer to your questions are right in front of you… in choosing to make these insightful and different videos to express yourself. The happiness you derive from asking all those questions is a kind of answer to your question I’d guess. I find it’s amusing to see how the French are burning Paris over the retirement age being lifted to 62. Here it’s like 70! Anyhow, I’ve never discovered any crystal clear answers - I think the answer is to just enjoy perfect moments in each day and be content with that. So good luck, and thanks for your videos! ❤
Enjoying daily perfect moments sounds like a good recipe, at least to stay anchored in the benefits of here and now and not constantly projecting into the future. And thanks for calling my videos insightful! Maybe, at least, that's one quality I've been able to develop as age and stop to consider the path traveled, the point I'm at, and where I'm going.
Speaking as a 62 year old, we make choices that put us on a path to have opportunities, both personal and professional. For me, the really significant ones - maybe six in my life were almost or entirely happenstance. The rest is just “learn as you go.”
I applaud you for choosing happiness over the career that wasn’t doing it for you. I just made that decision myself. I am a slow learner!
My wife and I love your videos and think you are delightful. Keep your eyes open - you never know what’s next. You’re just getting started.
Thanks for the insight. For me the balance between fate (´happenstance') and agency is key. I'm a lifelong learner, and enjoy adaptation a lot, but still want to believe I have an oar in the current and am able to steer, after a fashion, even if imperfectly. I'm so happy you and your wife are enjoying my humble videos!
Our to put it another way - we make our own luck. Bon Courage!
I’m 63, and I’m happier now and more at peace than at any point in my life. I truly love each day! If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I would say “Relax, it’s all going to be ok”. I made tons of mistakes along the way, but those mistakes all brought me to where I am right now. Thank you for your many videos, including this one, they are all lovely!
Thanks for taking the time to watch them! As for age and reflection: I'm not ready to say -- yet -- that I've reach my destination. I want my options to be as open as for any youthful adventurer. Mistakes, I've made and will make again, I'm sure.
That “snow angel is not working” bit is funny
You are so beautifully vulnerable, it's courageous, and it's to ask a deep question, a universal question we all have to go through. You asked for advice so here's mine: Live in the present moment for that is where life is. My 30s were tough for me for similar reasons as you state (aging), and I have learned the present moment is the only place where we can feel time -because we are fully present for it, to be present to see it and experience it. When in the present moment, we buy the ticket and we saw the movie, we didn't space out and miss it. Try not to let anxiety rob your present moments, where life is. Everything's gonna work out. Don't worry so much. Your channel is spectacular... perhaps that's a part of your path in life and you had to do a lot of "character development" in order to make this channel so good. Love your channel and your philosophizing, your musings. ❤ And remember the natural law of impermanence. It is everywhere, deeeply embedded in the universe. Without impermanence you wouldn't be born, nor would you grow. Meditating on impermanence puts things into perspective, and can help one let go easier, because it's a natural law. Keep creating these remarkable videos please... great cinematography, full of mental nutrition. You're a blessing on RUclips. 🌹🌞
Some good advice there. I'm listening. Be more in the present and not allow anxiety to creep in over the changes that are coming down the road. Thanks! And thanks for the words of appreciation on my modest channel!
I had a crisis in my 30s. It’s all an illusion. In summary, I embraced my own mediocrity and found that liberating. I just take each day as it comes. I also quit drinking and that helped. Yeah, and having kids has been good. I know it’s not for everybody. I am just so busy with them. Maybe before having kids I had time on my hands to ruminate, but now I just don’t have the time.
I'm getting a few comments suggesting that giving up drinking is key. Has it come to that?
Some sage advice there, and you've obviously given a lot of thought to what you wrote. I appreciate the time and especially the insight you've generously shared. And I agree: there is an inordinate weight on women to rely on looks to navigate society. I'm no doubt guilty of pressing that too -- at least in the realm of RUclips and appearing before a camera. But as you rightly point out, our self-worth needs to be broader and more varied than that. I hope that I'm doing enough to expand those other horizons. I refuse to have superficiality reign over my life. But questions still persist about how well I'm doing at that, and indeed how I compare to peers. I wish for greater self-confidence, though I realize that is earned, not wished into existence. Where that fails, however, yes -- there is still humor!
Every time I watch one of your videos (I’m travelling to Paris for the third time in 6 weeks and your vids have been very informative) I think there is not a better looking women on RUclips than you. Wow. I believe that beauty comes from within as much as your physical attractiveness: it’s confidence, intelligence, it’s your presence, your vivacious personality, your style, as much as your looks. You have all that going on in spades and I do not believe for a second any of that will ever fade over time.
I’ve learned at at age 58 that having some purpose in life trumps everything else. It’s only been a couple years since I figured that out. I sense that, as you say, you are having some existential issues there. Learn to be happy in your own skin.
By the way, your videos rock, some of the best produced content on the internet.
@@jimmason8502 I'll just take up the comment that purpose trumps all else in life. That would be ideal. Myself, I feel like I drift sometimes. But seeking purpose does help!
Hi;
I am 63 years old and like your idea that "In the meantime, I am going to just leave life to the fullest as much as I can."
You are so natural and sincere. The video is great.
By the way, I have began to think of similar musings at 60s.😂
Thank you so much for the comment. A lovely compliment. And does this mean I'm ahead of the curve, reflecting on this now? Or just preoccupied with it way too early?
As a 48 year old who decide not to have children, I can tell you it was the BEST decision I ever made. Pretty much every day I realize how lucky I was to have dodged that bullet. 😊
That's great! You worked out your path and it brought its rewards
Hi Aida, since you asked for advice from an older person, let me give you some "sobering" thoughts from mid-50s. Perhaps let me express the gist in abstraction (I know French are great at it): life consists of symmetries.
You can either stay mildy anxious or become blissfully free, depending on the price you pay. For the former, you need no crisis slapping you. But for the latter, you need an abruptly adverse occasion of life thrashing you very hard, like full-scale IRS investigation lasting a year or two, your in-law being jailed and you do your absolute best to get him/her out. It must be of such magnitude as to make you say afterwards "what the hell, do your worst" to just about anything that happens to you. Then, congrats, you've just joined the rarefied club of "been there, done that." (I know, real life's adventure does not occur as in Indiana Jones or Mission Impossible movies but in prosecutions, betrayals, investment losses, tax audits, family troubles, mais c'est la vie.)
You'd rather live without the drama? Sorry, this is not your choosing. Then why am I telling you this? To suggest you a frame of mind in advance. In after years should troubles rise to cloud the blue of sunny skies (knock on woods), just remeber you've earned the right to join the club of complete freedom soon afterwards. Things will be hectic, but you will manage, get stronger by day and emerge unscathed, trust me. On the other hand, if nothing like that happens to you, voilà, that was the life you have wished for. So you are good either way.
Of course, there is a symmetry to the above: if a drama happens, that was not what you wanted, and if nothing happens, you keep living with anxiety. You are not good either way. But now that you know, you can pick the right side of symmetry in your mindset - i.e., half-full rather than half-empty, as your mindset is up to you.
Sorry for my long windedness - I am a Korean and English has never been easy for me. I very much enjoy your great channel and I think French "politeness" in fact has very much in common with Korea's #1 import from ancient China: Confucianism. Its 4 tenets are: compassion (pity), fairness (justice), respect (politeness) and wisdom (judgment). I am your channel's fan (on my first day!), Napoleon and Rousseau are still my heroes, and hope to understand the infinitely alluring French mind! Thank you.
Some valuable advice then that I'll take on board, reflect upon. Thank you for taking so much time to set out your thoughts and experience. I hope that you get through your own travails OK.
And I appreciate learning about the Confucianism approach to politeness - much to learn there.
This is what I think many of us love about you, Aida: your candor. But to me, your questions raise more questions. Where does family figure in your life? It seems to me from watching the vid about your parent's boat that family is central to who you are. Aren't kids our legacy in this world? Mind you, I, myself, don't have them, so what do I know. And of course, finding the right person to have them with is everything. So I hope you will keep meeting people and seeing the world and that the answers will come. We want only the best for you, Aida!
This video, and I guess all of them, are taking an inside-looking-out view of things. I'm not really going to bring family into it, because what I'm talking about is more universal than just what's happening in my world. Even if it is a vlog. I'm happy to hear that candor is being well received, and seeing the world really is an enlightening experience!
Haha, 30's sounds great to me. Over the years it rarely turns out the way we plan it. I made so many wrong choices. So, I learned to go with the flow. And, don't forget, it's about the journey. However, I feel it's good to set some goals and take steps towards them. ~ You seem great!💗
30s sounds great to me.... I'm now worried thet worrying about my 30s is robbing me of the pleasure of my 30s! (Only half-joking there.) I totally get that people further along this mortal coil see the 30s as a great, youthful time. From my perspective, though, it's to be compared with my wilder 20s. Maybe one fear is that all that frenzied energy of the 20s is proof of life, and my changing tastes and mode of living in my 30s still feels a bit too stately, less representative of my 'inner child'.
Hello Aida, this is a beautiful video. Honesty and authenticity always go so far. As for life, there is an expression in English - "chose your hard" - that may apply. In other words, no matter what you choose, life will be a challenge and you will wonder if you made the "right" choice. That's how it's been for me. There are no immediate answers, because we understand / know (as in connaitre and not savoir) life backwards while we live it forwards. And, that's ok; just keep plugging along. I'm doing the same.
I think you're right -- in that there is no 'right' choice, only the shouldering of the choices one makes.
Seems like you're doing alright from the outside, you've done and seen a lot as your younger self had hoped, but I definitely understand the feeling. Hard to know what's "enough."
It feels like we're all feeling our way along this path called Life... and the path itself keeps shifting and buckling as we move along it. Yeah, overall I feel like I'm doing OK, and have done a lot. But I also see how much more there is to do out there... and sometimes it feels like I missed a crossroads along the way!
Very much enjoying your videos (just found tonight). Love Paris, always stay in 13th by 5th. Will try some of your suggestions when there in late Sept. About the life stuff: it's always will be like this. 20's , 30's 40's, etc. It's the comparing with expectations from yourself and from others. You seem to have a good sense of self so trust that. I did have kids after thinking i never wanted any (had at age 34, 38, 41) and it's been both joyful and painful. But what isn't? My friends with no kids feel the same. Just be open to everything, don't shut a door that may bring happiness whatever it is. You are doing great--and it's always good to reflect on your life every so often! Keep on going with your RUclipss.
Thank you -- for watching the videos and for taking the time to share a comment on them. (And that's a good spot: the 13th bordering the 5th, well done.) I'm hearing you on your experience having kids. And for pursuing happiness. I think in my case, I'm on a good path to happiness, and it happens to be sans enfants. So all good. But you can be sure there will be more reflections on life to come!
I recently attended a CES reunion. We're all in our 50s now. The women had mainly aged better than the men, so don't start thinking now that you have to become decrepit too soon! Looking back I think I was at my most attractive in my 40s.. and I met the best man then, who I married. My only advice about aging as a woman if that you remember to look into HRT when the time comes. My girlfriends who didn't do this in time have really suffered. Hopefully in 15 years when you need the help it'll be easier to access. I know, not philosophical advice, but the biggest game changer I've seen.
Some good advice there, I reckon.
I just turned sixty. I had a midlife crisis when I was 18 and started my first, dull, badly paying job and thought "Is this what people do?? Their whole lives?? Nooooooo!!!"
And no adult knows anything about life; we all fudge our way through it, make mistakes and wrong choices, spend our time and money on the wrong things. Some of us get lucky and some of us don't. Best advice : Have lots of rewarding sex with the right people while you're still young! I'm not being facetious. The rest of life is what it is, you don't have a lot of control really. Nobody dies regretting things they have done more than the things they didn't.
Lots of advice there! I'm certainly feeling more positive these days as I dive right into doing things that fulfil me.
Bonjour Mademoiselle Aida :) One of my friends was going through a similar "crisis" recently and I offered her some advice. I told her to uncouple her physical appearance from her self-identity as much as possible. Society seems to tell us that our physical appearance is of paramount importance: we are bombarded with advertisements for beauty products and the latest fashions, attractive people get more attention on social media and dating apps and there is the old saying that "first impressions last." But we are never really in control of our physical appearance, sure we can fine tune it, but to a large degree it depends on genes and luck. And it will inevitably decline.
I have heard some older women complaining about being becoming "invisible" to men. In their younger days they relied heavily on their physical attractiveness to get the attention of men and it is no longer working for them. They sound sad, bitter and angry, but it doesn't have to be like that. I can tell from your videos that you are intelligent, thoughtful and have a quirky (and perhaps mischievous?) sense of humour, and I'm sure you have many other great attributes as well. Let them form the bulk of your self-identity, because unlike your beauty, they will never fade.
i just found you and am literally binge watching all your videos. such an entertaining channel, hope you produce more!
Hi -- that's gratifying, and humbling, to hear. Thanks so much! I have plans for more videos, just need to find the time....
Aida, L love your videos and will visit Paris for the first time in 10 days. I appreciate all your tips. However, I think the thirties are a little too early to call it a mid-life crisis, but it never hurts to reflect on your experiences, accomplishments, skills and relationships. Just don’t dwell on it too long. You still have a long life ahead of you. Based on your concerns expressed in this vid I’m not sure if you fully realize how much you touch people and help us with your store of knowledge and common sense. I think by the end of the video you reached a nice conclusion. Take it day by day and try to live life to the fullest. One step after another. One breath after another. Btw, your English is fabulous. Did you grow up in an English speaking home or country? Without invading your privacy, I’ll bet many of your readers would like to know more about your life story.
That insight and comment is comforting to read, thank you. I hope I didn't come across as complaining too much. As for my English -- I picked it up entirely in school and watching English-language shows, and music. I've lived in a few countries, but never an English-speaking one, no.
A man approaching 50 and those stationary ledged (whatever they are called) .. feels like everything is standing and kind of so purposeless .. damn ... love your stories ... love from Barcelona and Delhi
Glad to hear you're enjoying my little vlogs, my musings on life and France....
Answering the questions of getting older are always on the minds of people. Have we made the right decisions, are we on the right path? What is my purpose in life? Where is my life headed, what are my goals? Keep your wits about you. Plan ahead. Live in the present, prepare for the future. Pursue hobbies and interests. Enjoy life, and let life come to you. You'll find your way in life. Everything worthwhile takes time. You have a positive image and attitude on life. Things will work out for you. Mark my words.😊
It's a little contradictory, no? To have goals AND live in the moment?
Bonjour, I hope you feel better a year after this video. I am almost 50. Never had a crisis but I cannot say I can steer everything, only I wish that I made some choices earlier. I know make choices a lot quicker and focused than 5 years ago. I also do regret not doing certain things 35 years ago. Learning to say no helps. Perhaps your beloved Marais partially only exists in your memory from when you started living there and maybe it is time to move to the next scène. LA Breakfast, Baby hamburgers, mini Eiffel towers??? But that is something only you can decide.
A good pointer, to try to minimize regrets now and try a lot of new stuff. And yes, maybe the Marais I love has gone. But there are spots in Paris I could see myself living in.
Bonsoir Aida, I'm sad to hear about your midlife crisis. I hope you overcome it. Nice skiing skills. 🇫🇷 has 4 seasons like most northern European countries. France is technically western like the UK 🇬🇧, which also has 4 seasons for an island nation
Thank you for reaching out. It's OK, I'm navigating this period in life, and in good health, so it's all fine. And thanks for the skiing compliment. I find it so frustrating to not get better at it faster!
Glad to know I’m not the only one ❤
Don’t worry Aida You will be fine ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Bravo..Jaime bien ta philosophie. Ce n’est jamais trop tard quand même. Attends j’ai 74 ans et je trouve tous les jours de nouvelles expériences….bonnes et mauvaises bien sûr. La vie se déroule comme il faut et la pire des choses est de gaspiller son temps…ce que tu ne fais pas. Alors bravo et bonne continuation ! Michel
@@David-xh6cm tu as la bonne attitude, je pense - et l'expérience à l'épreuve !
This channel is gonna blow up kid, great work😘🧔🏻.
Actually, no. I kind of know what I would have to do to blow up the channel, but not willing to do a Greatest Hits revival circuit. I'm more interested in doing RUclips on my iconoclastic terms, the algorithm be damned.
Well as a 32 year old man ive started to feel that i wish i was traveling more. And also i do want a wife and kids but im single and have been for 4 years soon and i dont really date..
I just assumed you had a partner and that was the one filming? is that not the case? Either way if you are single or not or want a family or not just try to like you said live life and maybe spend some more time pondering over if you want to really live freely without kids or to have a warm and cosy family. You can still travel, have dinners, do alot of things it will just be different..
Anyway like the deep topic of this video.
Keep up the good work and greetings from Sweden.
Travel is a bug that should be given free rein. I think on kids my mind is made up. I love the direction my life has now. And yes, more videos of deep subjects on the horizon!
You mention that you are having an internal discussion about the possibility of having children. I would like to share a bit of my own personal journey here, in the hope that it might offer a different perspective for your consideration.
As a male, I cannot speak to your concerns directly, but only as an observer. We can never really know what others truly feel as opposed to what image of themselves they project, so I've never been entirely sure of where I sit on the 'weird scale', but my mother once told me that I was always an 'old man in a child's body', so I may be pretty far out there on the tail of that Bell curve...:)
After much thought, in my mid-teens I came to the conclusion that the battle of 'Self Interest vs Greater Good' was going to end in a stalemate and we would stumble into a climate crisis of some sort and so it appears. At that time I decided that I couldn't see a future world where my child might reasonably expect to have a better life and thus I didn't think children was a reasonable choice. When I turned 20, and was finally able to find a doctor who would agree to perform the procedure, I had a vasectomy.
There are a lot of very personal considerations in making the (active) choice to not have or not have children. I got a lot of push back on my choice from parents, family, & friends, but I have never regretted it.
Whatever you decide for your future, if you are at peace with your choice, it is the right choice for you.
warmest regards - rick bradner
Hi, and wow, that is one of the most heartfelt, open comments I've had. I can see you've thought hard and long about what you wrote, and it speaks to a great debate that went on in you. A lot of people might jump a little at the idea of making a momentous choice at age 20, but that probably discounts the lucidity many of us can dedicate to thinking through personal pathways, at whatever age. Also, for a man, that procedure is far from irreversible; it essentially brings the balance of choice more toward your own inclination, and less away from 'accidents'. So thank you for your courage in opening up like that. Myself, though on a different pathway, with a different mix of considerations, I too am happy with the choices I'm making, have made. Above all, I'm happy having agency in life, which I guess for me is the most defining characteristic.
The wall is undefeated.
@@user-ug7ur5ou5e go back to your Incel channel
Mid 30's a year ago?! 😮
Our Mid-30's Lets Us Know That We Are In Early Middle-Age. 💯
I'm working through it. And yes, you're right, I should follow up with an update. But right now I can say that I'm really happy with my life.
@@amusingaida Right On, Because I'm In My Mid-30's Too, And Time Reminds Me That 40 Is Right Around The Corner Too. So That's Why I Had To Wake Up Within Myself & Starting Putting My Life Into The Proper Perspective & Start Maturing. 💯
In my opinion women don’t fade faster; we are held to an impossible standard. Men have a very low bar by comparison.
You may have something there. The eye of the beholder, and differentiated social norms. I guess part of that is that women are more often held to a standard of beauty (even by other women), while men, who can be as well, are also held to a standard of economic status, which can also fade but on a longer timeline..... Bref, food for thought!
@@amusingaida That’s true. There are many different standards in life. I was thinking of your comment in the video referring to appearance. Just look at the male protagonists in movies compared with female. A male heartthrob can have almost no muscular tone, even a big belly, and wear baggy pants with a suit coat whereas the women would never hold a leading role looking like that unless it was the focus….how this poor hag turned her life around or some such nonsense. 🙄😄
I think times have changed, or at least are a-changing
I'm a 58, cisgender female. I've been where you are. Life will get better when you stop caring how others perceive you. While aging in Western culture is tough on women, I'd never be young and stupid again for all the money in the world. I've grown to like the person I've become. I bet you will like who you become too. 😏
It's reassuring to hear that it might get easier. If I'm honest, I can't say that the perception of others doesn't matter. But you pain a picture of a better future.
There is no such thing as getting old. The body ages of course, but the mind does not, it simply matures and becomes more powerful. How? If you think about any problem, your more mature mind can view a clearer path to your destination. We're all going to the same destination, that part is not optional, the difference is that a clear mind finds a smoother road to enjoy the ride, where as a confused one steers one onto a bumpy road. What is a smoother road? Live for today, enjoy the moment and appreciate every little detail of your path. Now, go on and live! En passant, superbes vidéos, j'aime bien ton sourire charmant et tes beaux yeux pleins de vie. Salut!
Maturity is a vintage out of reach for me. And that, at any age. But that aside, I love your comments about the vidéos, much appreciated!
Ah, a lovely woman who doesn't want kids! Priceless.
I am a priceless princess
I had my super peak from 30 to 35😁
So from now on it really is downhill?
You can make the best of it😁@@amusingaida
No kids, you are my hero. :) And have fun in Les Trois Vallées.
Well, having no kids is a choice, and a personal one. And in my case it's still a dilemma between not wanting that imposition on my life and knowing that the fork in the road in speeding down on top of me when the choice becomes definitive.
As for Les 3 Vallées : it was great. Less snow than last year (despite the snowfall seen in the video), but I am slowly improving on my skis.
I'm 39 and I intend to lie and say that I'm 36 for another few years to feel better 😂
Lying is a most human trait, so there's no guilt there!
Buy a Porsche, take up surfing. That is the traditional course of action in these circumstances. You will feel a lot better.
@@rustydogz1 that is certainly a midlife-crisis solution for a part of the population -- just not my part
Except to make kids, we're young for as long as we feel young... 🙄
OMG, how much this video amused me! :)))) Sorry 😁
I think you are taking your anxieties too seriously. Live your life the way you like and ditch the "laws" of society.
And above all, come to terms with the fact that you can't have it all in life. And then you will be fine with yourself. No more anxieties!
You know, you're probably right: I should let go my anxieties and learn to shrug at not being able to have it all...
You should have children you would be a great mother
Thanks for the vote of confidence. My own path though is leading to happy options (for me) that don't go in that direction
Bonjour Madame😂 Do you want a relationship? You don't have to decide now what you want. If you don't want children, that's fine. Do you want another person in your life. Male or female?
Don't look back in anger, look forward to your future, alone or with somebody. If you do, then find him/her and let them in to your life and share it with them.
Perhaps you are focussing too much on ither people's lives rather than concentrate on your own passage.
Yiu say you have questioned what you have achieved hitherto. Well quite a lot. You have oresented and produced well crafted vlogs about Paris and yourself, you have liced in 6 countries, and you had the maturity to quit a well-paid job because you were not enjoying it. That took courage. You have achieved quite a lot.
You have a long way to go. You have taken the road less travelled. Slow down and manage what is thrown at you.
You do not need anybody's advice because there is only one of you in this world, you are unique and everybody else has different circumstances than you. You appear to be a well centered lady. Be thankful, and continue to search for the treasure at the end of the rainbow. Remember is not the destination, but the journey. Enjoy . . .
Thank you, and doubly thanks for understanding the individuality of experience and reflection. I appreciate the thoughts
An interesting vid and a departure from your usual fare but we all get 'Existential' from time to time. A couple of other people have commented that as you get older you give less of a F&%k which helps :) When I reached my early 50's I discovered meditation, yes I know the silly old fool with his special robes, prayer beads and essential oils, but it gives perspective because you discover that 90% of what your brain thinks is in fact complete garbage so it helped me to ignore a lot of the things you are listing here. Getting older is not easy to deal with psychologically but you are still a beautiful woman 'Madame'
For your next vid I am looking forward to a 10 hour discourse on the varied teachings of the great French philosophers while you smoke a pipe and look out of the window thoughtfully. :)
I do have "musing" in my channel name. Yeah, some breezy travel insights but also these reflections on the lighter (or darker) states of being are part of the fare here. I'm happy to hear that existentialism is not a French monopoly. And I sincerely am touched to see these theme getting to many thoughtful replies. I'm not alone in thinking/worrying/struggling with this! Meditation sounds like it worked as a solution for you. I've dabbled a bit, but also have other mental occupations that keep me on an even keel (cooking is one of them).
I could definitely do a video about French philosophers! But might skip the pipe bit....
@@amusingaida It could get complicated if you mention Monsieur Magritte :). I have watched all of your vids and they are very enjoyable, have you thought of doing an ASMR vid?