I played this video on my phone in the living room just now & something kind of wonderful happened... My boyfriend of 18 years (a hardcore diehard metalhead who’s always been angry @ the world & has a hard time processing/coping with upsetting emotions) could hear it, & he STOPPED PLAYING HIS COMPUTER GAME to pay attention so that he could hear it clearly & listened to it with me. Completely unprovoked, I hadn’t said a single word & neither had he. It is not a common thing for something to pull his attention from his computer while he’s in the middle of something like that, he usually just ignores whatever I’m watching, listening to, or doing (we often just do our own things while in the same room). So he must’ve heard something that felt meaningful to him... so thank you, Olivia 🙂 My sweetlove can be hard to reach sometimes, & I’m grateful that your words & ideas could do so.
Boyfriend of 18 year to someone with his emotional setback. Not judging I understand his pain. He is blessed to have you in his life idk your story but sounds like you’re searching for something and looks like he might have started too? I pray y’all grow in life and love together.
j v I didn’t have a relationship like that with my dad, trying to emotionally reach him is not something I would have usually tried to do. That was “mom’s job.”
This really resonated with me. I remember telling my therapist that when im being fake so that people will like me; it feels like a business transaction. If i do something for you and provide reasons for you to like me that in return you wont leave me and abandon me. For example i remember going to a party and putting so much time and effort into baking some cookies for everyone. I realised that i did it not because i just wanted to do something nice just for the hell of it, i did it because i wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to show them that i have a use and give them a reason to keep me around
If it helps, I thought it important to mention that social status is actually a need in the animal kingdom, and possibly even moreso for people. That's why acceptance makes us feel good and rejection makes us feel bad. Because our primitive ancestors could starve, if they were not accepted in the group. They could also be prone to attacks. Everybody seeks approval to some degree or other. But, it's important and a good thing that you are able to recognize that it's become a problem area, where you rely too much on it. Thank you for sharing, btw. It's not easy to talk about our weaknesses, especially on a public platform.
That got me... “We have sex when we don’t want to have sex and we really just want to be held.” That really hit me hard and brought some pain up out of me that I knew was there but I couldn’t reach it by myself. Thank you Olivia.
I think females are taught to be "nice" to everyone. We are raised by our mothers to be "nice" to everyone we meet. The problem is, not everyone else we meet is "nice"! So we try and be good little girls by being polite and sweet to everyone...and people take advantage of it. I find i was too "nice" in my early 20s...and it meant i attracted weirdos at my job or in bars. Other people would avoid these weirdos and mock them...but because i was polite to them, they mistook my nice-ness for genuine friendship. Even though i didnt want to be friends with them! Lol
@@rumdo5617 omg yes! This happened all through my 20s lol At my job, we would always have one or two new weirdos who would start. They would try and crack lame jokes which no other colleagues would laugh at. I felt sorry for them and the awkward silence, so i would try and smile and fake laugh. But then the weirdo would attach themselves to me on every Lunch Break and think we were Best Friends...when i was just trying to be "nice" lol i actually found them gross and weird. And my other colleagues would be like: "Why do you hang around that weird person"...but i would be, like: "No! They hang around ME! I was just trying to be polite and not hurt their feelings" lol Now in my 30s i discovered you really can't just be "fake nice" to people. You have to Ghost some weirdos. Otherwise you get really pent-up angry inside trying to mask your real feelings...pretending to be nice and polite to some weird guys!
@@MaleOrderBride It's weird because in old movies sometimes you see women straight up slap a guy in a bar or something for being too forward. Now we think women are supposed to have more power in society, but a women would like never do that now and instead she is supposed to be nice and fake. I never really got that lol
Yea but remember when you would get grounded and the arguements before and after? I didn’t realize til later in life that that was apart of the lesson to. Be nice yes but the closer someone is to you the more you can’t hide and shtf sometimes but that the difference between love and being nice they both take work but only one loves you back. I hope I explained that right
I don't know what you mean by that. My inner voice is usually reflecting my accurate feelings but I sometimes feel the need to ignore it. But I am not getting anything that would harm anyone else.
ahhh someone flirting when they are in a relationship is one of the biggest red flags going. A red flag that should tell you this person psychologically doesn't see you for the long haul but only that it's just your turn. I used to do that back in the day and that's why i did it . I would never have done that with someone i truly loved. Narcissists do it all the time and they usually have an answer for everything. They just below psychopaths for toxicity.
With all due respect but if your man is flirting with others... he doesn't deserve you nor respects you. Find a man who will truly appreciate and love you.
Masks can also be tools to navigate the world around you in optimal ways. As an antisocial introvert who genuinely likes their colleagues but doesn't care in the slightest about what they have to say or whats happening in their lives, my work-mask keeps my workplace pleasant and productive and helps us all provide a better service by avoiding generating any negative experiences, feelings or causing tension. It's tiring for me, probably bad for my mental health, but it's a tradeoff that's worth it to me at this time. I never feel fake, because the mask is built on my genuine like for them. The only artificial bit about it is the expression of the like, structured as it is in a format my colleagues can recognise and understand. Writing this, it does occur to me: Should I? Why should I construct a mask to fit them? Well, because the alternative is to ask them to construct one to fit me - or for neither of us to fit, causing social friction.
Talk about synchronicity.. yesterday my therapist got through to me in a way I didn't understand before how my perfectionism was getting in the way of me expressing myself, and that whatever I was feeling was okay to feel, that I didn't have to be hiding it. That I'm worthy of love and will be loved no matter what I'm feeling. Today I stumbled upon this video by the most wonderful luck and you blew yesterday's understanding out of the water. I'm ending the day with about 20 journal pages processing epiphanies. How I've been gaslighting myself and violent to myself and how I've been damaging my relationships and the people dear to me as a result. Thank you so much for this insight!! You've just helped so much click in my understanding of the work I have in front of me and I feel so fortunate.
Thank you for opening yourself and sharing. I don't mean to be offensive at all, especially when you're in a vulnerable place however I must be sincere. I hope this comes out as caring, as it truly is. My dear, there must be a limit, all of us need to acknowledge and understand that stepping on our feelings by trying to cope with a bad partner is not a good path at all... this is what I see in this video. You're guilt tripping yourself but in denial, so you try to see it as something else. Your feelings of anger are valid and are right to exist. Listen to your intuition, stop invalidating your mind as something that needs to be quiet down and stop overanalyzing. You feel bad because it is indeed... bad. I hope you find someone who can provide mutual respect and love towards you.
There must be something in the universe because I have also been working thru this as well. I hate feeling like I'm the only 1 living an inauthentic life. But I keep reminding myself that we all only want to show the good/best sides of ourselves. I relate so much to what your are saying about yourself. Thank you for this.
"We all wear masks" is also a quote I remember being said from Batman when he was on a rooftop with some woman in one of the Batman movies from over a decade ago.
Such a powerful video! I really needed to see this today. From the depths of my heart, thank you! Thank you for being so open and honest with us and allowing us into your private world, it has greatly helped open me up to some of my masks and toxic traits I’m holding onto that do nothing but hold me back. This video of yours was a true blessing to me in this moment and I am truly grateful ❤️🙏
Dear Olivia, Watching this video changed me. I have been so upset and angry. I feel as if you popped into my feed this morning for no other reason but for me to make the “now” choice. I choose now, now I will take the time to do the inner work, soothe my inner child. I’m so grateful you made this video. Thank you thank you thank you
I have had depression and anxiety for over ten years and my eureka moment was when I realised part of the problem.The problem was I was focussing on my problems too much and being too introspective. Now I consider other peoples points of view and try to help with their problems.This has helped me immeasurably. Miss Kissper you are beautiful quirky and talented,don't put up with any bs from any man.
Good video as usual. I have found depression is anger turned inward. When you feel depressed, ask yourself what is truly making you angry. You are here for a reason and you were not put on this planet to be hurt.
Perfect 👌❤️ God sent me, literally within minutes of me thinking I need to listen to a soft voice but I need them to be addressing anger as I’ve been feeling really angry these last few days and totally projecting it out, even though I knew I was doing that, and yes, I was being really violent. I have been owning my feelings of feeling hurt but the anger was still there. This is just perfect. Thank you 🙏🏽💞💕💞✌️😍😘
Learning to be the most honest, true version of ourselves is such an important thing. It might not be much, but I think most of this community will like and love you for exactly who you are, no mask needed. Hopefully that's some comfort for you. ❤
Finally Olivia having more subscribers. You are the best and I having been following you for the last three years. You are also one of the most beautiful ASMR.
This was exactly what I needed right now, thank you Olivia. I’ve been caught in this cycle of avoiding things that make me uncomfortable and then making the situation even worse when I need to just sit down and face my own fears. You always have the best insights and advice 🌼
Incredibly insightful, thank you! I'm at the point where I've acknowledged the masks but need help figuring out to open my true self. Thank you for opening up yourself, I really empathize and admire your journey and courage. I'm ready now
I’m at that place too and I figured that if im trying to find myself then I really don’t know as much as I thought I did about myself. I started talking to ppl who know me and see things about me I don’t and I’m also a Christian so I started pray a lot more than usual idk if you are open to that but I figured that he made me and knows everything then that would be a good place to start. I hope this helps I hope you find the peace you’re looking for
I am happy that you have understood what lies behind the mask,the deeper you uncover the emotions. You learn how to control it by being real brutually honest, learn from experience and matured characteristics builds up from there all this are important it shows how unique you are Stay Strong as always and continue to post more ASMR videos there is more than relaxation in your videos and that is PEACE.
I've been struggling with this so much right now. I actually am wearing all three of these masks and the perfectionist one the most. Its honestly so painful and self destructing. I'm glad I found this video. ❤️
@Author Dan Plouff Info, ASMR, and Gaming when u get to certain age like me,u tired of mental games and triggering each other u want stability.but I get ur joke!!!
I think we are taught that being angry is not okay when it really is okay. What is not okay is acting on that anger in a way that is destructive instead of constructive.
Please Olivia, and others that relate. You guys are the sensitive SALT OF THE EARTH! It would not good, at all, without you. Please try ACIM, IAM not kidding, after years of sensitivity, I found PEACE, after 10 days. It's free on RUclips. Start the lessons today and HELP YOURSELF, because I love all the people like you... My favorites! Sensitivity is a miracle 💙💙💙💜💜💜💜
I love every time you talk so hard honest, I feel so connected and understood that we are passing by the same pain no matter who we are. I identify some times with the ''savior'' but also with the ''perfectionist'' every time when I try so hard to be so nice, to be loved and accepted. And is like you say Liv the answers are inside, in the moment when we can confront our thoughts and ask to them if that thought is real? Like your couching sessions Liv, those kind of sessions are good cause sometimes is not so easy find those thoughts in our mind and is good a little help from a friendly someone is very valuable. Thank you Liv for your beautiful work of self discovery, and I love you too!!!
For me, meditation is helping me to get closer to the core of my being and to the Divine love, which connects us all. In its light you can see that all of us are worthy, all of us are loved and our only duty in this world is to be true to ourselves.
Hey Olivia, the way you feel is very valid. I would feel the same if my bf were flirting around. He sounds like trouble. The reason your hurt feelings are turning into the animalistic violent part of yourself is because your emotions are telling you to keep away. You're not listening. So your angry animalistic 'violent' side has kicked in, in the hope that you will listen, and keep away from him to protect your soul. Listen to your gut instincts, they are warning you. I did see your recent vid with you and your BF's voices talking about spirituality. I got a bad vibe from him. He seems sneaky, dishonest and likes to stir up trouble. I could hear in your tone you felt slightly uneasy around him. This has got nothing to do with you or you being "violent" or weak. He has a lower vibration energy that will drag yours down. Your soul and body is telling you to "keep away". Try to look past his attractiveness if you can, and honestly ask yourself if you feel safe and happy around him. If answer is no, you must keep away and protect your beautiful, sensitive soul. People like him will drain your energy. I would break it off, let him run free to flirt and share your soul with a mature, honest, kind man who understands how to treat a beautiful lady like yourself. ❤ *hugs*!
I'm not one to really want to criticize and judge someone in Olivia's position but there's definitely a change in her that I don't think is productive. I think she set herself up to be used by a lot of people because she has resources that they don't and she doesn't shine bright like she used to. she always has circles under her eyes. I just think this change and this running away - I see it as running away - I don't see it as change - I see it as being over run. You obviously have not met and fulfilled your very self to be living with hanger ons. You're way too beautiful and talented. You should be on your own, by yourself at this stage of the game and there, that's my opinion. I have wanted to give it a long time but I was waiting for an opportunity. I don't think you lost a lot of viewers because of your direction I think it's because your power has been usurped. And then I could be wrong but I've noticed it for a long time and I could be right.
I am very lucky because I have a friend that I can be exactly who I am with. I can be angry and violent and emotionally messed up (which is who I really am) I was never taught to do what’s appropriate though. Not by my parents or world. Everyone else is very pretend like living in a play or something. But I can be myself. I have been a victim. I have been raped and hurt. But I am not ashamed of my anger, anger is justified in this messed up world.
you are so self-aware it’s inspiring! you and me are very similar when it comes to masks, i have been trying to get rid of these masks for the past few years, but i am stuck
This is a great video. Thank you for always opening up about your own struggles. I know that's hard. I can't afford your course, but someday I hope I'll be able to. Here's my problem, though: I've suffered from the most severe possible depression my entire life, since childhood. I've tried almost everything. My last hope is the expensive NeuroStar chair at my psych's, but I can't afford that right now, either. I've even been through surgery for this. I hate myself. I hate life. I've wanted to die since I was a child. I wake up every day disappointed that I woke up. So when I'm around others, yes, I wear masks. To protect them. Because the real me is a poison. I know it makes me worse. But it's me or them, so I choose to know I'm a fake rather than be my honest, authentic, suicidal, disgusting, awful self. I'm so ready to stop trying to get better. I'm so tired. Everything I've done has made it worse in the form of new side-effects or even more self-hatred and regret and trauma at the hands of medical "professionals" who have told me, on multiple occasions, to kill myself. I'm so ready to, but my family needs me, so I go on waking up every day when I don't want to. Please, no one tell me to "get help." No one tell me to call the suicide hotline. Been there, done that. There is no help. At least not for me. But these videos help me get out of bed. That's all.
It’s a lot easier to be alone. Because relationships are a lot of work, at least the ones that are worth having. If you look up dysfunctional in the dictionary, you will see an “extremely rare” family portrait of the family I grew up in. But I have managed to stay married to the same woman for 28 years this October. The trick is a stubborn streak of not giving up. Which I think a lot of people do these days. My feeling is that quite a few look for an excuse to give up. It’s work!
Oh Olivia I don’t want to sound as if I pity you but my goodness I’m so sorry you went through this and kept it inside so long. I am a trans man and I really resonate with your pain and the whole “doing things because you’re supposed to be nice and compliant just to feel loved”, it is such a hurtful thing to experience. My heart is with you.
Thank you for mentioning postponing 💖 I postpone social stuff, and it's really not good for me. Do you think you could make a video on that topic? I would love to hear your insights.
Thank you for your vulnerability and speaking your truth. It sure helps. I have been doing a lot of inner work as well. And have felt I have been violent with my inner voice and what I demand from myself. Always trying to please and better to please others at cost to my own respect to myself. When you articulate so clearly about masks and saboteurs it makes it clear that I am not alone in it. It also shows me when you do the inner work, it flows out. Instead of trying to pull energy in. The work you do and what you share is great evidence.
I went through the exact same journey of awakening as you did, really recognized myself in everything you said. I come from a very, very disfunctional family and it took so much energy to break the cycle of pain I was in that I created myself somehow by ending up with shitty people who broke me even more but I realized I needed this to happen to make a true inner work or else, like you said, kill myself because the pain was unbearable. I have been following your videos for a very long time since you started doing ASMR actually and at the time I really enjoyed them but I also really enjoyed how you evolved and somehow I knew you've been through so much like me, and I really respect that and where you come from to where you are at now. Now I feel amazing and finally at peace, real peace with my inner self and everything around me changed. I have better friends, I finally met who I believe is the right man for who has absolutely nothing to do with the others I used to date and I actually am happy and I am not afraid anymore to deal with pain, confronting life because I know what pain is all about actually and I stopped sabotaging me in a way. Thank you for sharing everything you've done until now. You're an amazing and very bright person and what you did actually helped in my inner journey. I don't post comments most of the time but I really wanted to say that to you. Thanks again. Hope your life is just gonna get brighter and brighter.
Wow. Thank you so so much for this. I have heard people tell me all my life that I am a perfectionist and I never realized how it could affect me and others so negatively. I would love if you made a video explaining how to get out of this trap and move forward and not be that way. Thank you!
Great video Olivia! I can relate very much to your message and I am going through a similar journey. Current life experiences send us what we need to look at and heal. It brings up old forgotten memories that are torture and the only way to heal, I’m learning is not around it but through it. I forgot what a violent little girl I was to myself when I was hurt or jealous or rejected. Best of luck to you on your continued healing :)
I can relate to this in a big way, I’d say masks made up the majority of my identity. Slowly I’m getting away from that. It’s good to know I’m not alone in the struggle
Sooo. I have been doing alot of inner work the last 3 years, but I clearly see all three of these without a doubt. They all show up at different times and some more than others. I would really love to work on these.. Is it possible that by accepting these personas that they may not be so reactive or disruptive in our personal lives?
This is the second time I watch this video and your confesión really touch me, you always try be so genuine talk about your suffering opening your heart to help others. This is so moving and beautiful, during those years I saw the way you has been a warrior to make a beautiful change in the world but especially relieving the suffering of others. Your suffering really move me but your spirit of superation moves me more, your are a trully warrior and I admire you for that, but more than that I love you so much for have the courage to be your self!
This is a really amazing video, only thing i dont agree is about meditation being distraction, cause it is supposed to be a tool to ease a connection with your 'now you', your real you. If we secretly feel violent when life doesnt go our way or when our partner disappoints then what are we supposed to with this energy/reaction?
Thank you for bringing this up! Yes, meditation is supposed to be a calming tool. The reality, however, is that many people experience negative effects, you can research it if you want. The answer to your question is doing deep inner work to release the blockages that keep you in cycles of reactivity.
Well, it's good to not immediately get angry, but instead of pushing it down, wouldn't it be better to just state openly that you don't like what the person is doing, since they may have no idea it's bothering you? Honest question. Hope you're well and take care, your content is really great
Where do you live? We don't have Transpersonal Psychology Masters/training here in Oz. (I trained in Transpersonal Counselling but we don't even have that course any more.)
I like you and love you Olivia, not like your beloved, but as one of my favorite people in this world. You're truth, kindness and sincerity is so divine that I absolutely value your words more than gold. Tytytyty Soul sister Infinite blessings and gratitude Eternal love and light •°`\☆Namaste ☆/'°• 🌬💜♾🕉☯️☮🌠🌼🌎🦄🦋🙏⭐🔥💫
Great video - I too believe that the whole 'positive thinking and manifesting' movement is a load of tripe, it's nice to see someone with expertise who thinks the same. Also if you want to say 'don't give a shit' then just say it!
I would REALLY love to see you swearing or cussing and just let it out...I sense that the REAL Olivia IS that person who would scream. I don't see perfection in you 100%,if I told you that I was perfect? I'd be lying. Be true to yourself Olivia, its human to feel it..THAT is when you are truly beautiful. Much love, Lyle.
I think I get it...you're mirroring me,and I can't see what you are seeing. For example, you are my mirror and I am repeating it back to you but I'm not catching the reverb.That moment you tell me "Lyle! At this moment in time? I can't be around you right now!"...please don't try too hard. I want to share something with you. In the beginning? You were my dopamine dealer. Then,you were my favorite actress. Now? I see you as a mother, a sister, a lover,a daughter. You're not vulnerable, you are human....if any of that made ANY sense at all? I hope that I opened a door for you,just as you have given ME a door to escape. Love ya! Keep up the great work doorkeeper!
![Megan Thee Stallion - Bigger In Texas [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QxTkZTLWdo4/mqdefault.jpg)
I played this video on my phone in the living room just now & something kind of wonderful happened... My boyfriend of 18 years (a hardcore diehard metalhead who’s always been angry @ the world & has a hard time processing/coping with upsetting emotions) could hear it, & he STOPPED PLAYING HIS COMPUTER GAME to pay attention so that he could hear it clearly & listened to it with me. Completely unprovoked, I hadn’t said a single word & neither had he. It is not a common thing for something to pull his attention from his computer while he’s in the middle of something like that, he usually just ignores whatever I’m watching, listening to, or doing (we often just do our own things while in the same room). So he must’ve heard something that felt meaningful to him... so thank you, Olivia 🙂 My sweetlove can be hard to reach sometimes, & I’m grateful that your words & ideas could do so.
Woah that’s awesome!!!
Boyfriend of 18 year to someone with his emotional setback. Not judging I understand his pain. He is blessed to have you in his life idk your story but sounds like you’re searching for something and looks like he might have started too? I pray y’all grow in life and love together.
This is awesome. I’m glad for you, I know this feeling very deeply.
i wonder why you chose someone hard to reach. Was your father hard to reach?
j v I didn’t have a relationship like that with my dad, trying to emotionally reach him is not something I would have usually tried to do. That was “mom’s job.”
This really resonated with me. I remember telling my therapist that when im being fake so that people will like me; it feels like a business transaction. If i do something for you and provide reasons for you to like me that in return you wont leave me and abandon me.
For example i remember going to a party and putting so much time and effort into baking some cookies for everyone. I realised that i did it not because i just wanted to do something nice just for the hell of it, i did it because i wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to show them that i have a use and give them a reason to keep me around
If it helps, I thought it important to mention that social status is actually a need in the animal kingdom, and possibly even moreso for people. That's why acceptance makes us feel good and rejection makes us feel bad. Because our primitive ancestors could starve, if they were not accepted in the group. They could also be prone to attacks. Everybody seeks approval to some degree or other. But, it's important and a good thing that you are able to recognize that it's become a problem area, where you rely too much on it. Thank you for sharing, btw. It's not easy to talk about our weaknesses, especially on a public platform.
Glad she made this video and you made this comment because it made me realise i do the same thing
Xiolancer I cant be fake. I just stay quiet.
It’s feels good being a loner. You guys stress too much.
That got me... “We have sex when we don’t want to have sex and we really just want to be held.” That really hit me hard and brought some pain up out of me that I knew was there but I couldn’t reach it by myself. Thank you Olivia.
I think females are taught to be "nice" to everyone. We are raised by our mothers to be "nice" to everyone we meet. The problem is, not everyone else we meet is "nice"! So we try and be good little girls by being polite and sweet to everyone...and people take advantage of it.
I find i was too "nice" in my early 20s...and it meant i attracted weirdos at my job or in bars. Other people would avoid these weirdos and mock them...but because i was polite to them, they mistook my nice-ness for genuine friendship. Even though i didnt want to be friends with them! Lol
I agree. Worse - if you're kind and polite to weirdos - they get arrogant because they think you're interested in them. Grrr. Fuck 'em 😂.
@@rumdo5617 omg yes! This happened all through my 20s lol
At my job, we would always have one or two new weirdos who would start. They would try and crack lame jokes which no other colleagues would laugh at. I felt sorry for them and the awkward silence, so i would try and smile and fake laugh. But then the weirdo would attach themselves to me on every Lunch Break and think we were Best Friends...when i was just trying to be "nice" lol i actually found them gross and weird. And my other colleagues would be like: "Why do you hang around that weird person"...but i would be, like: "No! They hang around ME! I was just trying to be polite and not hurt their feelings" lol
Now in my 30s i discovered you really can't just be "fake nice" to people. You have to Ghost some weirdos. Otherwise you get really pent-up angry inside trying to mask your real feelings...pretending to be nice and polite to some weird guys!
@@MaleOrderBride It's weird because in old movies sometimes you see women straight up slap a guy in a bar or something for being too forward. Now we think women are supposed to have more power in society, but a women would like never do that now and instead she is supposed to be nice and fake. I never really got that lol
@@Albatrosspro1 women hit guys alll the time and it's completely socially acceptable. Have you not been outside in the last 20 years?
Yea but remember when you would get grounded and the arguements before and after? I didn’t realize til later in life that that was apart of the lesson to. Be nice yes but the closer someone is to you the more you can’t hide and shtf sometimes but that the difference between love and being nice they both take work but only one loves you back. I hope I explained that right
Sometimes the things the inner voice tells us we wouldn't say to even our worst enemies.
I don't know what you mean by that. My inner voice is usually reflecting my accurate feelings but I sometimes feel the need to ignore it. But I am not getting anything that would harm anyone else.
ahhh someone flirting when they are in a relationship is one of the biggest red flags going. A red flag that
should tell you this person psychologically doesn't see you for the long haul but only that it's just your turn.
I used to do that back in the day and that's why i did it . I would never have done that with someone i
truly loved. Narcissists do it all the time and they usually have an answer for everything. They just below
psychopaths for toxicity.
Very true.
With all due respect but if your man is flirting with others... he doesn't deserve you nor respects you. Find a man who will truly appreciate and love you.
Masks can also be tools to navigate the world around you in optimal ways. As an antisocial introvert who genuinely likes their colleagues but doesn't care in the slightest about what they have to say or whats happening in their lives, my work-mask keeps my workplace pleasant and productive and helps us all provide a better service by avoiding generating any negative experiences, feelings or causing tension. It's tiring for me, probably bad for my mental health, but it's a tradeoff that's worth it to me at this time. I never feel fake, because the mask is built on my genuine like for them. The only artificial bit about it is the expression of the like, structured as it is in a format my colleagues can recognise and understand. Writing this, it does occur to me: Should I? Why should I construct a mask to fit them? Well, because the alternative is to ask them to construct one to fit me - or for neither of us to fit, causing social friction.
@Mrs Blume I encourage you to read a little deeper.
Talk about synchronicity.. yesterday my therapist got through to me in a way I didn't understand before how my perfectionism was getting in the way of me expressing myself, and that whatever I was feeling was okay to feel, that I didn't have to be hiding it. That I'm worthy of love and will be loved no matter what I'm feeling. Today I stumbled upon this video by the most wonderful luck and you blew yesterday's understanding out of the water. I'm ending the day with about 20 journal pages processing epiphanies. How I've been gaslighting myself and violent to myself and how I've been damaging my relationships and the people dear to me as a result. Thank you so much for this insight!! You've just helped so much click in my understanding of the work I have in front of me and I feel so fortunate.
Thank you for opening yourself and sharing. I don't mean to be offensive at all, especially when you're in a vulnerable place however I must be sincere. I hope this comes out as caring, as it truly is.
My dear, there must be a limit, all of us need to acknowledge and understand that stepping on our feelings by trying to cope with a bad partner is not a good path at all... this is what I see in this video.
You're guilt tripping yourself but in denial, so you try to see it as something else. Your feelings of anger are valid and are right to exist. Listen to your intuition, stop invalidating your mind as something that needs to be quiet down and stop overanalyzing.
You feel bad because it is indeed... bad.
I hope you find someone who can provide mutual respect and love towards you.
Meditation is not about turning inside, it is about getting out of your head and truly be in the present.
There must be something in the universe because I have also been working thru this as well. I hate feeling like I'm the only 1 living an inauthentic life. But I keep reminding myself that we all only want to show the good/best sides of ourselves. I relate so much to what your are saying about yourself. Thank you for this.
That's correct Wendy, we all wear masks ... metaphorically speaking - Jim Carey "The Mask".
No its not just metaphoric anymore, do you know about plandemic 2020? Lol.
"We all wear masks" is also a quote I remember being said from Batman when he was on a rooftop with some woman in one of the Batman movies from over a decade ago.
Such a powerful video! I really needed to see this today.
From the depths of my heart, thank you! Thank you for being so open and honest with us and allowing us into your private world, it has greatly helped open me up to some of my masks and toxic traits I’m holding onto that do nothing but hold me back.
This video of yours was a true blessing to me in this moment and I am truly grateful ❤️🙏
Dear Olivia,
Watching this video changed me. I have been so upset and angry. I feel as if you popped into my feed this morning for no other reason but for me to make the “now” choice. I choose now, now I will take the time to do the inner work, soothe my inner child. I’m so grateful you made this video. Thank you thank you thank you
I have had depression and anxiety for over ten years and my eureka moment was when I realised part of the problem.The problem was I was focussing on my problems too much and being too introspective. Now I consider other peoples points of view and try to help with their problems.This has helped me immeasurably.
Miss Kissper you are beautiful quirky and talented,don't put up with any bs from any man.
You have balls to be this vulnerable
Good video as usual. I have found depression is anger turned inward. When you feel depressed, ask yourself what is truly making you angry. You are here for a reason and you were not put on this planet to be hurt.
Perfect 👌❤️ God sent me, literally within minutes of me thinking I need to listen to a soft voice but I need them to be addressing anger as I’ve been feeling really angry these last few days and totally projecting it out, even though I knew I was doing that, and yes, I was being really violent. I have been owning my feelings of feeling hurt but the anger was still there. This is just perfect. Thank you 🙏🏽💞💕💞✌️😍😘
Yea me too. Amen sister couldn’t have said it better myself
Learning to be the most honest, true version of ourselves is such an important thing. It might not be much, but I think most of this community will like and love you for exactly who you are, no mask needed.
Hopefully that's some comfort for you. ❤
Finally Olivia having more subscribers. You are the best and I having been following you for the last three years. You are also one of the most beautiful ASMR.
This was exactly what I needed right now, thank you Olivia. I’ve been caught in this cycle of avoiding things that make me uncomfortable and then making the situation even worse when I need to just sit down and face my own fears. You always have the best insights and advice 🌼
Incredibly insightful, thank you! I'm at the point where I've acknowledged the masks but need help figuring out to open my true self. Thank you for opening up yourself, I really empathize and admire your journey and courage. I'm ready now
I’m at that place too and I figured that if im trying to find myself then I really don’t know as much as I thought I did about myself. I started talking to ppl who know me and see things about me I don’t and I’m also a Christian so I started pray a lot more than usual idk if you are open to that but I figured that he made me and knows everything then that would be a good place to start. I hope this helps I hope you find the peace you’re looking for
I have no filter. And I show anger instantly...which doesn't mean there aren't issues there...
I am happy that you have understood what lies behind the mask,the deeper you uncover the emotions. You learn how to control it by being real brutually honest, learn from experience and matured characteristics builds up from there all this are important it shows how unique you are Stay Strong as always and continue to post more ASMR videos there is more than relaxation in your videos and that is PEACE.
I've been struggling with this so much right now. I actually am wearing all three of these masks and the perfectionist one the most. Its honestly so painful and self destructing. I'm glad I found this video. ❤️
when a man is in a serious relationship should not be flirting with others .I would feel disrespected .but thats my opinion.
@Author Dan Plouff Info, ASMR, and Gaming when u get to certain age like me,u tired of mental games and triggering each other u want stability.but I get ur joke!!!
depends on the flirting mild flirting is okay
@ no it's not??? the hell...
I think we are taught that being angry is not okay when it really is okay. What is not okay is acting on that anger in a way that is destructive instead of constructive.
Trueeeeeee
Please Olivia, and others that relate. You guys are the sensitive SALT OF THE EARTH! It would not good, at all, without you. Please try ACIM, IAM not kidding, after years of sensitivity, I found PEACE, after 10 days.
It's free on RUclips. Start the lessons today and HELP YOURSELF, because I love all the people like you... My favorites! Sensitivity is a miracle 💙💙💙💜💜💜💜
Carl Jung was revolutionary. Really nicely expressed, well done ! :)
I love every time you talk so hard honest, I feel so connected and understood that we are passing by the same pain no matter who we are. I identify some times with the ''savior'' but also with the ''perfectionist'' every time when I try so hard to be so nice, to be loved and accepted. And is like you say Liv the answers are inside, in the moment when we can confront our thoughts and ask to them if that thought is real? Like your couching sessions Liv, those kind of sessions are good cause sometimes is not so easy find those thoughts in our mind and is good a little help from a friendly someone is very valuable. Thank you Liv for your beautiful work of self discovery, and I love you too!!!
For me, meditation is helping me to get closer to the core of my being and to the Divine love, which connects us all. In its light you can see that all of us are worthy, all of us are loved and our only duty in this world is to be true to ourselves.
Hey Olivia, the way you feel is very valid. I would feel the same if my bf were flirting around. He sounds like trouble. The reason your hurt feelings are turning into the animalistic violent part of yourself is because your emotions are telling you to keep away. You're not listening. So your angry animalistic 'violent' side has kicked in, in the hope that you will listen, and keep away from him to protect your soul. Listen to your gut instincts, they are warning you. I did see your recent vid with you and your BF's voices talking about spirituality. I got a bad vibe from him. He seems sneaky, dishonest and likes to stir up trouble. I could hear in your tone you felt slightly uneasy around him. This has got nothing to do with you or you being "violent" or weak. He has a lower vibration energy that will drag yours down. Your soul and body is telling you to "keep away". Try to look past his attractiveness if you can, and honestly ask yourself if you feel safe and happy around him. If answer is no, you must keep away and protect your beautiful, sensitive soul. People like him will drain your energy. I would break it off, let him run free to flirt and share your soul with a mature, honest, kind man who understands how to treat a beautiful lady like yourself. ❤ *hugs*!
I'm not one to really want to criticize and judge someone in Olivia's position but there's definitely a change in her that I don't think is productive. I think she set herself up to be used by a lot of people because she has resources that they don't and she doesn't shine bright like she used to. she always has circles under her eyes. I just think this change and this running away - I see it as running away - I don't see it as change - I see it as being over run. You obviously have not met and fulfilled your very self to be living with hanger ons. You're way too beautiful and talented. You should be on your own, by yourself at this stage of the game and there, that's my opinion. I have wanted to give it a long time but I was waiting for an opportunity. I don't think you lost a lot of viewers because of your direction I think it's because your power has been usurped. And then I could be wrong but I've noticed it for a long time and I could be right.
@@theliberatedplanet agree. Something going on. She deleted my fav videooo 😢
I'm pretty sure that the "boyfriend" story was hypothetical and simply used to make a point.
My soul was searching for an answer tonight, this video popped up. Thank you so much for talking about this. Exactly what I needed
I am very lucky because I have a friend that I can be exactly who I am with. I can be angry and violent and emotionally messed up (which is who I really am)
I was never taught to do what’s appropriate though. Not by my parents or world. Everyone else is very pretend like living in a play or something.
But I can be myself. I have been a victim. I have been raped and hurt. But I am not ashamed of my anger, anger is justified in this messed up world.
you are so self-aware it’s inspiring! you and me are very similar when it comes to masks, i have been trying to get rid of these masks for the past few years, but i am stuck
This is beautiful being able to connect emotionally with your experiences and reflect on my own. Thank you for this!
That was amazing Olivia!!! You are an amazing soul!❤
This is a great video. Thank you for always opening up about your own struggles. I know that's hard. I can't afford your course, but someday I hope I'll be able to.
Here's my problem, though: I've suffered from the most severe possible depression my entire life, since childhood. I've tried almost everything. My last hope is the expensive NeuroStar chair at my psych's, but I can't afford that right now, either.
I've even been through surgery for this.
I hate myself. I hate life. I've wanted to die since I was a child. I wake up every day disappointed that I woke up.
So when I'm around others, yes, I wear masks. To protect them. Because the real me is a poison.
I know it makes me worse.
But it's me or them, so I choose to know I'm a fake rather than be my honest, authentic, suicidal, disgusting, awful self.
I'm so ready to stop trying to get better. I'm so tired. Everything I've done has made it worse in the form of new side-effects or even more self-hatred and regret and trauma at the hands of medical "professionals" who have told me, on multiple occasions, to kill myself.
I'm so ready to, but my family needs me, so I go on waking up every day when I don't want to.
Please, no one tell me to "get help." No one tell me to call the suicide hotline. Been there, done that.
There is no help. At least not for me.
But these videos help me get out of bed.
That's all.
It’s a lot easier to be alone.
Because relationships are a lot of work, at least the ones that are worth having.
If you look up dysfunctional in the dictionary, you will see an “extremely rare” family portrait of the family I grew up in.
But I have managed to stay married to the same woman for 28 years this October.
The trick is a stubborn streak of not giving up.
Which I think a lot of people do these days.
My feeling is that quite a few look for an excuse to give up.
It’s work!
Oh Olivia I don’t want to sound as if I pity you but my goodness I’m so sorry you went through this and kept it inside so long. I am a trans man and I really resonate with your pain and the whole “doing things because you’re supposed to be nice and compliant just to feel loved”, it is such a hurtful thing to experience. My heart is with you.
Thank you for mentioning postponing 💖 I postpone social stuff, and it's really not good for me. Do you think you could make a video on that topic? I would love to hear your insights.
Thank you for your vulnerability and speaking your truth. It sure helps. I have been doing a lot of inner work as well. And have felt I have been violent with my inner voice and what I demand from myself. Always trying to please and better to please others at cost to my own respect to myself. When you articulate so clearly about masks and saboteurs it makes it clear that I am not alone in it. It also shows me when you do the inner work, it flows out. Instead of trying to pull energy in. The work you do and what you share is great evidence.
I went through the exact same journey of awakening as you did, really recognized myself in everything you said. I come from a very, very disfunctional family and it took so much energy to break the cycle of pain I was in that I created myself somehow by ending up with shitty people who broke me even more but I realized I needed this to happen to make a true inner work or else, like you said, kill myself because the pain was unbearable. I have been following your videos for a very long time since you started doing ASMR actually and at the time I really enjoyed them but I also really enjoyed how you evolved and somehow I knew you've been through so much like me, and I really respect that and where you come from to where you are at now. Now I feel amazing and finally at peace, real peace with my inner self and everything around me changed. I have better friends, I finally met who I believe is the right man for who has absolutely nothing to do with the others I used to date and I actually am happy and I am not afraid anymore to deal with pain, confronting life because I know what pain is all about actually and I stopped sabotaging me in a way. Thank you for sharing everything you've done until now. You're an amazing and very bright person and what you did actually helped in my inner journey. I don't post comments most of the time but I really wanted to say that to you. Thanks again. Hope your life is just gonna get brighter and brighter.
Wow... I didn't know how much I needed to watch this. Thank you so much, from the bottom on my heart :)
im glad you shared this with us, you have needed to let it all out
Wow. Thank you so so much for this. I have heard people tell me all my life that I am a perfectionist and I never realized how it could affect me and others so negatively. I would love if you made a video explaining how to get out of this trap and move forward and not be that way. Thank you!
This resonates in my soul! I used to stuff my emotions down then explode, now I just explode so easily..
We love you unconditionally.. beautiful inside and out! People need to hear this🙏🧡
Great video Olivia! I can relate very much to your message and I am going through a similar journey. Current life experiences send us what we need to look at and heal. It brings up old forgotten memories that are torture and the only way to heal, I’m learning is not around it but through it. I forgot what a violent little girl I was to myself when I was hurt or jealous or rejected. Best of luck to you on your continued healing :)
I am serious. This should be number one trending worldwide ☝🏻
Wow, that was amazing and it really resonates with me Olivia! ❤️
I can relate to this in a big way, I’d say masks made up the majority of my identity. Slowly I’m getting away from that. It’s good to know I’m not alone in the struggle
True rage and anger is usually solved by drowning in a bottle. Thanks for this Olivia. Respect.
I thought that was one of its hiding places.
Your wounderful Olivia just beautiful. When we let the light in our problems darkness has nowhere to hide.
Sooo. I have been doing alot of inner work the last 3 years, but I clearly see all three of these without a doubt. They all show up at different times and some more than others. I would really love to work on these.. Is it possible that by accepting these personas that they may not be so reactive or disruptive in our personal lives?
you are amazing olivia thank you
i wish i had at least 10-15 people to talk to about stuff like this and about how i talk to myself alot when i am alone cause im alone too much
I am so thankful for you and your messages. 🌷
I had no idea flirting was so serious 😳 sometimes I want to make someone else feel good about themselves. If it gets too serious, I retreat.
*Thank you for this message Olivia, it is very true*
This is the second time I watch this video and your confesión really touch me, you always try be so genuine talk about your suffering opening your heart to help others. This is so moving and beautiful, during those years I saw the way you has been a warrior to make a beautiful change in the world but especially relieving the suffering of others. Your suffering really move me but your spirit of superation moves me more, your are a trully warrior and I admire you for that, but more than that I love you so much for have the courage to be your self!
Thank you for making this❤ you should do more videos like this
Such a lovely person.. thank you for sharing🖤
This is a really amazing video, only thing i dont agree is about meditation being distraction, cause it is supposed to be a tool to ease a connection with your 'now you', your real you.
If we secretly feel violent when life doesnt go our way or when our partner disappoints then what are we supposed to with this energy/reaction?
Thank you for bringing this up! Yes, meditation is supposed to be a calming tool. The reality, however, is that many people experience negative effects, you can research it if you want. The answer to your question is doing deep inner work to release the blockages that keep you in cycles of reactivity.
This is brave and inspiring!
Wow so glad I found your channel
O will definitely be purchasing your book!💥
Well, it's good to not immediately get angry, but instead of pushing it down, wouldn't it be better to just state openly that you don't like what the person is doing, since they may have no idea it's bothering you? Honest question. Hope you're well and take care, your content is really great
Thank you❤
Thank you, I truly needed to hear this
This video is truly life changing. Thank you.
You talk about a lot of truths but it not only concerns women
Love that u are so honest
ahoj,moc se mi líbí Vaše videa:) chtěla jsem se zeptat,jestli zase nenatočíte nějaké video v češtině? děkuju:)
I have to wear a mask to be around people as I honestly don’t care or feel much for others
Thanks a lot for sharing this with us 🤩
Great video, lots of gems especially how many people take spiritual philosophies and meditation way out of context.
What a pretty room! (And powerful message, thank you.)
Where do you live? We don't have Transpersonal Psychology Masters/training here in Oz. (I trained in Transpersonal Counselling but we don't even have that course any more.)
Thanks so much. Much needed...
I like you and love you Olivia, not like your beloved, but as one of my favorite people in this world. You're truth, kindness and sincerity is so divine that I absolutely value your words more than gold.
Tytytyty
Soul sister
Infinite blessings and gratitude
Eternal love and light
•°`\☆Namaste ☆/'°•
🌬💜♾🕉☯️☮🌠🌼🌎🦄🦋🙏⭐🔥💫
Some valid points made here, but if men cheat, flirt with other women and generally treat us like dirt - and it’s still our fault !!!?????
It's not about faults. It's about the choices we make when we feel unsafe. 🙏
A year on and this is making more sense to me now.
Wow! Thank you for this amazing video.
You're amazing
So relatable.
Great video - I too believe that the whole 'positive thinking and manifesting' movement is a load of tripe, it's nice to see someone with expertise who thinks the same.
Also if you want to say 'don't give a shit' then just say it!
I wonder how old is little Olivia :)
Olivia you do a great
jo
This is so pure, and honest. Thank you for sharing your inner thoughts. 🤍
Thank you
If Amy Dunne had discovered meditation before she went bananas
victims are violent people - byron katie
❤thank you
SADHU SADHU SADHU 🤙
Miiiiaaauuuuu 😽😽😽😻
I would REALLY love to see you swearing or cussing and just let it out...I sense that the REAL Olivia IS that person who would scream. I don't see perfection in you 100%,if I told you that I was perfect? I'd be lying. Be true to yourself Olivia, its human to feel it..THAT is when you are truly beautiful. Much love, Lyle.
I think I get it...you're mirroring me,and I can't see what you are seeing. For example, you are my mirror and I am repeating it back to you but I'm not catching the reverb.That moment you tell me "Lyle! At this moment in time? I can't be around you right now!"...please don't try too hard. I want to share something with you. In the beginning? You were my dopamine dealer. Then,you were my favorite actress. Now? I see you as a mother, a sister, a lover,a daughter. You're not vulnerable, you are human....if any of that made ANY sense at all? I hope that I opened a door for you,just as you have given ME a door to escape. Love ya! Keep up the great work doorkeeper!
Seek te first the "Kingdom of God"
Im the last two masks
What?
What?
What?