Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Episode 9 - Team Four Star (TFS)

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Комментарии • 16 тыс.

  • @dewaunwarren1
    @dewaunwarren1 6 лет назад +5329

    "I know it's Rich coming from me but your powers are bullshit" - Alucard 2018

    • @sigilbreaker2628
      @sigilbreaker2628 6 лет назад +232

      Who's powers aren't bullshit in this show? They just sort of tick along until someone arbitrarily wins...

    • @holdenfinley1980
      @holdenfinley1980 6 лет назад +107

      Literally pretty much every character in this is op in their own way

    • @gratuitouslurking8610
      @gratuitouslurking8610 6 лет назад +114

      "Power levels are BULLSH*T!'

    • @YamiNetto
      @YamiNetto 6 лет назад +57

      *WE HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE.*

    • @JSPaul49
      @JSPaul49 6 лет назад +102

      @@sigilbreaker2628 Hellsing is to Shounen what Deadpool is to Marvel.
      But I enjoy both because my inner child will never grow up.

  • @alexmac851
    @alexmac851 6 лет назад +6340

    "I know it's filthy rich coming from me, but your powers are bullshit" - Holy, this made me laugh so much.

    • @samuelcacnio9548
      @samuelcacnio9548 6 лет назад +410

      Alucard kind of has a point. At least for the vampire powers, it's magical/supernatural BS. Unless Walter is using some sort of magic (or nanobots like Alexander?), his wires make no physical sense based on their movement. I know Millennium turned him into a vampire and may have given him powers, but it's apparently just Walter in his prime.

    • @carllipsey1497
      @carllipsey1497 6 лет назад +146

      @@samuelcacnio9548 Still makes for a badass fight nonetheless.

    • @heretyk_1337
      @heretyk_1337 6 лет назад +99

      @@samuelcacnio9548 Yeah, true, that fight with Anderson made a lot of sense for me in original, there was whole thing about symbolism with Dragon and Holy Crusarder trying to kill it, going against his weakness, but succumbing to power at the end... Walter fight? Just a "Meh" factor, because it wasn`t even that cool- i liked "Elevator Action" far more- in english dub, when elevator goes down, you can still hear policemen screaming for help, while Akucard kills them. I mean Hellsing from, i think, 8 tome, went too "Dragon Ball" for my taste, and fight with Walter was just almost "forced" into the plot. Feels rushed and out of place compared to previous fights... Which makes me glad, that TFS did noticed it :)

    • @scottski02
      @scottski02 6 лет назад +41

      @@samuelcacnio9548 Nanomachines son

    • @herculesatan4514
      @herculesatan4514 6 лет назад +34

      He’s a vampire with vampire-hunting skills. I think. He said somethin’ about vampire DNA.

  • @ananda9133
    @ananda9133 6 лет назад +5874

    "That's right. It's a blast from the past with that sass and loli ass"
    Never change, Girlycard. Never change

    • @TheDementedSig
      @TheDementedSig 6 лет назад +61

      Ananda Lel, saw 69 likes on this XD

    • @somethingsomewhat8860
      @somethingsomewhat8860 6 лет назад +31

      @@TheDementedSig now's it's 96

    • @dylan030201
      @dylan030201 6 лет назад +224

      girl Alucard should be called Lolicard

    • @xdave9683
      @xdave9683 6 лет назад +26

      Now its 494
      Should we really continue

    • @Mt.Berry-o7
      @Mt.Berry-o7 6 лет назад +141

      @@dylan030201 You just activated my lolicard

  • @Bibliosection
    @Bibliosection Год назад +2586

    Anderson: "This is a serious fight, okay."
    Alucard: "Of course, my beloved nemesis."
    vs
    Walter: "Take me seriously!"
    Alucard: "No 🙃"

    • @wolfman210
      @wolfman210 Год назад +327

      The irony is Alucard was going to give Anderson a serious fight at his full power as Dracula but Anderson refused because he just wanted to fight his frenemy.

    • @Breakaway-ic5gj
      @Breakaway-ic5gj Год назад +44

      ​@@wolfman210 But Alucard still summoned his slaves, he still didn't play fair

    • @levievil9220
      @levievil9220 Год назад +62

      @@Breakaway-ic5gjyeah so it literally putting a holy nail into your heart that gives you some god like powers but they aren’t complaining if it’s fair or not hell

    • @simon-peterwilliamson2412
      @simon-peterwilliamson2412 Год назад +70

      ​@@wolfman210he did give him a full fight. His form has no effect on his power strength. The major says it. They're all faces and souls stolen. Well I guess not dracula since that's what he looked like as human but you get my point

    • @lordbill5111
      @lordbill5111 Год назад +22

      ​@@simon-peterwilliamson2412but anderson was the better man.he forgave him and even sacrificed himself to get an audience with god.thats something else

  • @dereklarsen3555
    @dereklarsen3555 6 лет назад +11179

    Abridged version: Walter turned traitor because sexual frustration.
    Me: Seems legit.

    • @susakuzero
      @susakuzero 6 лет назад +1743

      Well what would you have done when you are a boy who has a crush on a girl which then turned out to be an some hundred years old Vampire Dude who was just trolling you ?
      I mean i can understand Walter.

    • @Arkayjiya
      @Arkayjiya 6 лет назад +929

      @@susakuzero I'm pretty sure Walter already knew what Alucard looked like when he first saw the girl (or at least he knew Alucard was supposed to be a guy), in the flashback he questions Alucard's appearance. He wasn't even "tricked" which makes it even funnier.

    • @Krwzprtt
      @Krwzprtt 6 лет назад +665

      Honestly, it's clearer than why he turned traitor in the original. Always found that confusing.

    • @Arkayjiya
      @Arkayjiya 6 лет назад +862

      @@Krwzprtt It's been a while since I read the manga, but basically he always made a big deal about aging like fine wine but in the end he did not actually handle aging well at all and wanted to relive his glory days.

    • @shadowpeople2645
      @shadowpeople2645 6 лет назад +334

      well he dodged a bullet rows of teeth....like a shark

  • @zanewederell9571
    @zanewederell9571 6 лет назад +4155

    I'm still fucking calling it, Schrodinger's real name is Michael McDoesntexist.

    • @masterstylez6960
      @masterstylez6960 6 лет назад +222

      I hope to God ur right dude.

    • @TravisBickle910
      @TravisBickle910 6 лет назад +140

      Oh my god, that would be fucking epic.

    • @thewoold
      @thewoold 6 лет назад +197

      I can't believe I didn't think about that.... what an extremely long set up for a joke

    • @bogustoast22none25
      @bogustoast22none25 6 лет назад +41

      I hope you're right.

    • @ScorchtheHawk
      @ScorchtheHawk 6 лет назад +77

      I swear to Jesus, that’d be the f*cking longest time coming

  • @howlingdin9332
    @howlingdin9332 6 лет назад +9381

    "Oh no, the poison *killed* your father. I *murdered* your father."
    Beautifully proper use of the words kill and murder.

    • @coreylucas5346
      @coreylucas5346 6 лет назад +28

      Howling Din It’s still the same thing! Lol

    • @gentblue
      @gentblue 6 лет назад +242

      @@coreylucas5346 no, it's not.

    • @gothictwilightgirl
      @gothictwilightgirl 6 лет назад +418

      @@coreylucas5346 Denotatively they imply the same thing. Conotatively, they are rather different, and this scene excellently differentiates between the two.

    • @anothergenericyoutubename
      @anothergenericyoutubename 5 лет назад +186

      @@coreylucas5346 Murder is a legal classification of killing or causing the death of another person with the specific intent to do so. Otherwise it is manslaughter. So no, kill and murder are not inherently the same thing.

    • @FeHearts
      @FeHearts 5 лет назад +58

      Mike Pence In that case it would be more like my grandma died of lung cancer, the cigarettes killed her.

  • @casey475
    @casey475 3 года назад +4249

    The second Alucard explained his relationships as “tags on Pornhub”, all I could think of was “That is terrifyingly accurate”

    • @cunningsmile4166
      @cunningsmile4166 2 года назад +105

      15:50

    • @adcon00
      @adcon00 Год назад +78

      He also called her Seras.

    • @Adamnlaw
      @Adamnlaw 10 месяцев назад +78

      I think the repressed memories of the police girl's would have plenty of clips that would go viral on that site by today's standards!
      I would probably have a gander at them...

    • @colinz226
      @colinz226 9 месяцев назад +78

      ​@@Adamnlaw(sprays with a water bottle)
      No!
      Bad!

    • @stealthynaxo
      @stealthynaxo 9 месяцев назад +18

      I am sickened! Yet curious.

  • @bulletmonkeyxp
    @bulletmonkeyxp 5 лет назад +6101

    "Our group relationship can best be described as tags on pornhub, now go." -Alucard 2018

    • @aquamarinerose5405
      @aquamarinerose5405 5 лет назад +216

      I just wanna know which tags

    • @krieg8943
      @krieg8943 5 лет назад +231

      Go to pornhub and find hellsing episode 1 and that quote is on the video

    • @ryankountz9752
      @ryankountz9752 5 лет назад +98

      @@aquamarinerose5405 Nowadays? Most of them.

    • @andreliv3206
      @andreliv3206 5 лет назад +54

      Try nhentai tags

    • @Cernumospete
      @Cernumospete 5 лет назад +125

      "Should you come at me? Should I come at you? Should we come together?"

  • @sarawilliamson5420
    @sarawilliamson5420 6 лет назад +4715

    "And there is no one alive who can comprehend my sexual preference!" Holy shit Alucard wasn't joking!!!

    • @megaman1808
      @megaman1808 6 лет назад +161

      Like a shark...

    • @thesandwich5321
      @thesandwich5321 6 лет назад +102

      Wait... do sharks give birth to live young or lay eggs? Because now I'm thinking about how Alucard would... well I guess now we know what the spawn of Hell is.

    • @beiggo21
      @beiggo21 6 лет назад +121

      @@thesandwich5321 Eggs but the eggs hatch inside the mom and some of the shark species eat each other inside the mom.

    • @thesandwich5321
      @thesandwich5321 6 лет назад +75

      @@beiggo21 Now that's just a standard Saturday night.

    • @JP-sm4cs
      @JP-sm4cs 6 лет назад +21

      @@thesandwich5321 no she's just saying it's like a sharks mouth

  • @bencollier8354
    @bencollier8354 6 лет назад +3679

    "that's right, it's a blast from your past, with that sass and loli ass!" Alucard - 2018

    • @imcintyre01
      @imcintyre01 6 лет назад +147

      Ben Collier Surprise SENPAI! FBI OPEN UP!

    • @Odinsday
      @Odinsday 6 лет назад +109

      *The FBI wants to know your location*

    • @eddietuggles9340
      @eddietuggles9340 6 лет назад +41

      LOVE that line.

    • @csgotrainingbot2160
      @csgotrainingbot2160 6 лет назад +78

      No homo but who else wanna smash that ass

    • @don945646
      @don945646 6 лет назад +73

      @@csgotrainingbot2160 don't forget the rows of teeth.

  • @artisdead4356
    @artisdead4356 2 года назад +2027

    Ok but that line “No mama, he’s was my dog, I’ll do it!” Is too badass for no reason

    • @bodenking
      @bodenking 2 года назад +100

      Do you think he reads books or just eats people who did read them?

    • @JS-ys8su
      @JS-ys8su 2 года назад +159

      @@bodenking He eats the books

    • @Darca1n
      @Darca1n Год назад +59

      @@JS-ys8su I am 100% certain that he has done that at least once, just for shits and giggles.

    • @mikesixx7655
      @mikesixx7655 Год назад +28

      old yeller hits harder in this format lol

    • @actuallymatter2673
      @actuallymatter2673 Год назад

      FOR REAL

  • @DarthVader1273
    @DarthVader1273 6 лет назад +4787

    “After all these years, you finally get to stick it in me, and you put it in the wrong hole.” - Alucard 2018

    • @t.v8aloyi
      @t.v8aloyi 6 лет назад +206

      "You are finally inside me, how does it feel"- Big Tittied Police Girl

    • @eliteofartorias9162
      @eliteofartorias9162 6 лет назад +53

      Tshwene Vincent Baloyi That's what happens when an innocent girl becomes Alucards big tittied police girl. She gets just as perverted a mouth as he.

    • @sv32099
      @sv32099 6 лет назад +70

      @@eliteofartorias9162 well i feel like that was more because of pip since he kind of becomes a part of her personality

    • @zhishangdi3522
      @zhishangdi3522 6 лет назад +180

      lets not forget these two gems as well "its a blast from your past, with that sass and loli ass" and "but really you're dodging a bullet there... rows of teeth, *laughes slightly* like a shark"

    • @aamehsama5813
      @aamehsama5813 5 лет назад +60

      Ahh! Walter San! Daisuki desu!

  • @noahkarpinski1824
    @noahkarpinski1824 4 года назад +12756

    Integra's father: You must stand taller than us all
    Integra: grows up to be 7 feet out of sheer willpower

    • @somegoodsoup7008
      @somegoodsoup7008 3 года назад +776

      SHE'S 7FT!?!?

    • @randomentertainment8927
      @randomentertainment8927 3 года назад +1150

      Wait, if she's 7 feet tall, HOW FUCKING TALL IS ALUCARD?!?!

    • @atomicrc_8303
      @atomicrc_8303 3 года назад +674

      @@randomentertainment8927 *yes*

    • @netherdominater9960
      @netherdominater9960 3 года назад +1040

      For some sense of scale: Seras is average height for an English woman, but she looks rather short compared to the other members of the main cast

    • @c.o7993
      @c.o7993 3 года назад +626

      @@netherdominater9960 I mean most character are either massive solders or superpower demon monsters

  • @averongodoffire8098
    @averongodoffire8098 4 года назад +4926

    "Yes I'm grateful to see you're still well my brother..."
    "Richard Traitoro Hellsing"
    guys... the uncle was litterally called "dick traitor" pfft hahahaha

    • @federalcasemaker
      @federalcasemaker 3 года назад +209

      He knows he's the traitor, so he pulled off one final trick.

    • @poseidon4g
      @poseidon4g 3 года назад +210

      I’m sure if he ever got any power, he’d be a “dictator”

    • @bodenking
      @bodenking 3 года назад +50

      Out of the entire cast, he might be my favorite. Grant steals the first five minutes of this episode

    • @arbiterprime2145
      @arbiterprime2145 3 года назад +30

      @@bodenking yea, as someone that basically just appeared in the Xenoverse lets play, hes really come into his own as a TFS member! glad that he got a voice role

    • @arby627
      @arby627 3 года назад +20

      I just want to point out that in the original Hellsing, Richard was the uncle’s actual name

  • @tuckerfyffe4999
    @tuckerfyffe4999 3 года назад +3855

    Alucard: Ever heard of updog?!?
    Walter: Nothing much, how about you?
    Best line of the night.

    • @alvincarter9686
      @alvincarter9686 3 года назад +293

      "First you kill my dog, then you anti my fucking joke!!"

    • @drakeyork241
      @drakeyork241 3 года назад +127

      “Fucking nazis about everything” has it beat
      15:00

    • @cor289
      @cor289 Год назад +13

      i’m whooshing myself can someone explain the joke to me😭

    • @baconator_x4098
      @baconator_x4098 Год назад +56

      @@cor289 The full joke is supposed to be...
      Alucard: "Ever heard of updog?" or "God it so sad Billy died of updog."
      Walter: "What is updog?" (This sounds like "What's up dog?" like "What's up dog? I haven't seen you in ages.")
      Alucard: "Nothing what's up with you?"
      It's like Joe Mamma or Ligma Balls. The joke is that Walter saw this coming and thus skipped the second verse and said the thing Alucard was supposed to say. It ruins the joke which is why Alucard said, "you anti my fucking joke" which is why it is funny.

    • @adammiller9419
      @adammiller9419 Год назад +27

      @@alvincarter9686" WIRE you so upset"

  • @kage8725
    @kage8725 4 года назад +8927

    After years of watching this i just realized that Luke said "things are finally luke'ing up for this valentine" and now I finally understand why he had to die

  • @EverythingMustG0
    @EverythingMustG0 5 лет назад +6034

    "Forgetting to feed one's gimp is a common mistake." Incredible.

    • @crestianroxas4782
      @crestianroxas4782 4 года назад +135

      Sounds like he has experience...

    • @MikeRosadoGaming
      @MikeRosadoGaming 4 года назад +75

      Itz true. My ex wife can attest to that. :v

    • @cunningsmile4166
      @cunningsmile4166 4 года назад +53

      @@MikeRosadoGaming left tied up too long and forgot you?

    • @silverdays2909
      @silverdays2909 4 года назад +25

      @@cunningsmile4166 yes I did

    • @asingularkriegsman3316
      @asingularkriegsman3316 4 года назад +109

      "So Arthur's an *actual* daddy now?" I hate the implications. And mental images.

  • @SektionEi8ht
    @SektionEi8ht 5 лет назад +5440

    14:57
    Fun fact: Hitler actually spearheaded the world’s first anti-smoking campaign.
    So, yes, quite literally he was a Nazi about smoking.

    • @user-uz3fk8zq3u
      @user-uz3fk8zq3u 5 лет назад +363

      TFS you beautiful, bastard geniuses

    • @Twocoolman115
      @Twocoolman115 5 лет назад +378

      Hey, even the worst of the worst have to have standards.

    • @therealdankclank
      @therealdankclank 5 лет назад +80

      Oh, well now I really hate him.

    • @Chimeratech_O.D.
      @Chimeratech_O.D. 5 лет назад +214

      Not to mention he loved dogs and wanted to have meat production ended, so add Veganism to that list. Ignore the dogs part as it's a compulsory human trait.

    • @keilafleischbein59
      @keilafleischbein59 5 лет назад +30

      @@Twocoolman115 or maybe authoritarianism and telling citizens how to live their lives is unethical.

  • @MadTurnip
    @MadTurnip 5 лет назад +2957

    "He hit you! What are you going to do?"
    "Hit him HARDER!"
    Goku applauds xD

    • @pumpdaddyg
      @pumpdaddyg 5 лет назад +72

      That sounds like something Goku would say

    • @MrDibara
      @MrDibara 5 лет назад +90

      "That sounds like something Goku would say."
      _"Yes. And remember that time you never beat him?"_
      "RGAAAAAAH!!!" *>punch

    • @tendericed2749
      @tendericed2749 5 лет назад +58

      You get back on your feet, and EAT. THAT. HORSE!

    • @cunningsmile4166
      @cunningsmile4166 5 лет назад +31

      "Holy shit. Its almost as big as my love for you."
      "You mean your erection?"
      "That is what I call it, oui."

    • @airotiv7916
      @airotiv7916 5 лет назад +3

      LOVE your profile pic and username!!!

  • @thistleserbel2214
    @thistleserbel2214 5 лет назад +4015

    'But Walter doesn't live in the dungeon he lives under the stairs."

    • @razor1uk610
      @razor1uk610 5 лет назад +223

      "...That was my favourite pillow!!"

    • @thomas-stilinski8149
      @thomas-stilinski8149 5 лет назад +96

      Kimichi Fubaki Walter secretly the child who lived

    • @asianpersuasion4901
      @asianpersuasion4901 5 лет назад +23

      @@thomas-stilinski8149 walte is the chosen one

    • @ozzyomega8674
      @ozzyomega8674 5 лет назад +71

      You're a wizard Wally!
      I've never seen harry potter.

    • @whoknows3229
      @whoknows3229 5 лет назад +25

      That's why he betrayed Hellsing :^

  • @Mizgrievoux
    @Mizgrievoux 4 года назад +8782

    "Then your first order is.... Keep your arm steady." Bruh the badassery of that line warrants more respect for her character than the canon or otherwise did for her.

    • @StarOfArtemis
      @StarOfArtemis 4 года назад +883

      I fucking love Integra. Probably one of my favorite lines from her is 'Oh god, is there a rest stop between now and the fucking point?'

    • @jdbrodmdimdidmdu4449
      @jdbrodmdimdidmdu4449 3 года назад +272

      I strongly disagree. In the canon, Alucard didn't really even need to ask. She becomes so steadfast, that after picking up the pistol, she doesn't even bother commenting on the situation.

    • @Mizgrievoux
      @Mizgrievoux 3 года назад +405

      @@jdbrodmdimdidmdu4449 Also disagree broseph. Pointing and shooting in silence is in no way more badass than instantly transitioning from fear and confusion to giving a direct ORDER to an immortal badass legend we know as Dracula.

    • @jdbrodmdimdidmdu4449
      @jdbrodmdimdidmdu4449 3 года назад +127

      @@Mizgrievoux The point is also that she didn't even need to order him. He instinctively goes along with what she's doing and she simply asks what his name is as she points the gun. What's more impressive, a dog fetching it's owner's ball after being told or knowing when to fetch it's owner's ball with no request?

    • @Mizgrievoux
      @Mizgrievoux 3 года назад +8

      @@jdbrodmdimdidmdu4449 whatever you say

  • @theaspirant549
    @theaspirant549 3 года назад +623

    Heinkel: "I'm fine. How is Yuumi? Can we save her?"
    Priest: "Like... in tupperware containers? Because I didn't bring any."
    Lmao

  • @lyraspasar649
    @lyraspasar649 5 лет назад +3457

    Stand User: Seras Victoria
    Stand Name:[Pip My Ride]

    • @JustSumGuy01
      @JustSumGuy01 5 лет назад +114

      The Stand name needs to be something more French

    • @mikecabral2420
      @mikecabral2420 5 лет назад +63

      Aren't stands usually song references? To be fair I dont watch jojo's bizarre adventure so i could be wrong

    • @lyraspasar649
      @lyraspasar649 5 лет назад +115

      @@mikecabral2420 normally yeah. At the beginning they where tarot cards references and later became song references. [Pip My Ride] is a reference to the song "Pimp my ride".

    • @mikecabral2420
      @mikecabral2420 5 лет назад +28

      @@lyraspasar649 oh yeah right. My mind went straight to the TV show and forgot about the song.

    • @ArnulfoSalgado
      @ArnulfoSalgado 5 лет назад +34

      @@mikecabral2420 they were named after Tarot cards first. Then some were named after ancient Egyptian gods. Then in part 4 they were named after songs or artists and bands. One of them was both, and had powers that referenced two other songs. After that they stuck to mostly songs but there are a few artists and bands referenced as well.

  • @HasvenWorld
    @HasvenWorld 6 лет назад +794

    "Walter doesn't live in the dungeon he lives under the stairs"
    *grunt*

    • @Audiotrocious
      @Audiotrocious 6 лет назад +42

      Sepulchre13 a cupboard under the stairs in England because he is a wizard

    • @ragnar97
      @ragnar97 6 лет назад +15

      Almost choked on that one lol

    • @turma8eac
      @turma8eac 6 лет назад +12

      Even her father didnt trust him

    • @christopherpeoples583
      @christopherpeoples583 6 лет назад +1

      @@turma8eac Walter har no freedom

  • @FattestJoey
    @FattestJoey 6 лет назад +4799

    "No Mama he was my dog.."
    "I'LL DO IT"
    Had me dying.

    • @rodneypendleton5911
      @rodneypendleton5911 6 лет назад +167

      I dont think the younger crowd gets that joke. spoiler its from old yeller the movie.

    • @catstuxedo6321
      @catstuxedo6321 6 лет назад +86

      @@rodneypendleton5911 You know it was a book first, right?

    • @FattestJoey
      @FattestJoey 6 лет назад +4

      @TheGamingDice Lmao.

    • @kingjoker3793
      @kingjoker3793 6 лет назад +4

      😂😂💀💀I can't breathe

    • @FattestJoey
      @FattestJoey 6 лет назад +50

      The fact that he doesn't seem sad about it totally makes this better. 12:03

  • @frenchiegrey8536
    @frenchiegrey8536 Год назад +1254

    "made of vampire DNA"
    "You could've asked me"
    4 years later I finally get it

  • @KDA21
    @KDA21 6 лет назад +1966

    "It's a blast from your past, with that sas and loli ass"- Alucard 2018 XDDD

    • @codytheisen5655
      @codytheisen5655 6 лет назад +139

      "Am I moe enough for you?" - Alucard 2018

    • @M12GProductions
      @M12GProductions 6 лет назад +14

      @@codytheisen5655 you know it. Also, who is that?

    • @apatheticAstronaut
      @apatheticAstronaut 6 лет назад +1

      @@M12GProductions who is who

    • @opgengar-985
      @opgengar-985 6 лет назад +2

      @@M12GProductions I was wondering that too.

    • @dannyl8247
      @dannyl8247 6 лет назад +13

      M12GProductions it's Alucard as a b**** from the forties

  • @calql8ing
    @calql8ing 6 лет назад +760

    I love how Pip has now become the new Nail.

    • @MonadRimsire
      @MonadRimsire 6 лет назад +95

      Yeah but Pip was actually there in canon. Keeping Nail around was pure genius on TFS's part

    • @biohazard724
      @biohazard724 6 лет назад +57

      Boob Nail. Nipple Piercing. *_Pipple Piercing_* .

    • @lillith7257
      @lillith7257 6 лет назад +31

      And finally nailing her

    • @peris_arts_film9699
      @peris_arts_film9699 6 лет назад +3

      CALQL8ING McAlpine is there a pool ball table and are there apps

    • @Blizzardshot
      @Blizzardshot 6 лет назад +4

      and he physically does something

  • @poh1126
    @poh1126 6 лет назад +1435

    "Our family relations can be described as tags on pornhub." LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

    • @rebecal.maldonadoperez586
      @rebecal.maldonadoperez586 6 лет назад +13

      I dont get it lol is it because they're always together? XD

    • @NoGround94
      @NoGround94 6 лет назад +47

      @@rebecal.maldonadoperez586 "step"-family.

    • @tituslee2153
      @tituslee2153 6 лет назад +2

      NoGround step? Sorry I’m not getting it

    • @mrb692
      @mrb692 6 лет назад +25

      Titus Lee just go on pornhub and search “step”. It ticks the taboo of incest without actually being taboo. Then it got meta with people making videos starring “not-step siblings”.

    • @poh1126
      @poh1126 6 лет назад +40

      @@rebecal.maldonadoperez586 >vampires
      >big tit blonde
      >police girl
      >dominating british woman/(women?)
      >insert alucard's entrance as a girl here
      Watch any of the other previous episodes and you can pick up on it. There's plenty other queues as well. Either way, that line had my sides in orbit for a while

  • @Malenrick
    @Malenrick 3 года назад +465

    I get the jokes of "Walter betrayed them cause he want that loli ass" and I do find that hilarious. But I do find it an interesting difference between the original and this one. And I'm going to talk about it way more then I should.
    Obviously in the original Walters reasons are different, I think it had something to do with how he wanted to leave a mark on the world. Where instead of being just a servant that grew old, died and was forgotten, he wanted to be useful to the very end and decided that killing Alucard would be the way to do it, becoming obsessed with the idea (and he then joined Millennium, which is why he was "on vacation" during the coup and didn't stop it)
    In this one I think it's exactly what he said. He's a vampire hunter, and after having met Alucard, he vowed to kill him. Realising he couldn't do it, he bided his time by serving hellsing and keeping close to him until he could find the right moment. He grows old, and needs to have the Nazis help him regain his old strength to hopefully kill Alucard, especially since now he has no souls left and is vulnerable. It's interesting how the Abridged simplified the motivations for all the characters while still staying partially true to the original. The whole loli thing is probably just Alucard messing with him, especially considering Walter lifterally says "Why aren't you taking this seriously".
    And well, while Alucard was messing with him, he was partially right, in the end, Walter did become obsessed with Alucard and the only thing he cared about at that point was killing him, sort of mirroring the original in a simpler way.

    • @cherryb0ng
      @cherryb0ng Год назад

      @Malenrick So what you're saying is that if it weren't for that beast of a woman Integra, Walter would have fucked the red right out of Alucard's eyes? Symbolically speaking.

    • @epikboss9859
      @epikboss9859 Год назад +21

      In original it's not fully explained but I think it's something to do with him getting beaten by the Nazis in ww2

    • @jordyncrayton6993
      @jordyncrayton6993 3 месяца назад +13

      I think this is a bang-on analysis. In the original, though, Girlycard is just one of the forms Alucard takes because it was humiliating to the Nazis that they were getting their ass handed to them by "a girl"

    • @fork4207
      @fork4207 18 дней назад +1

      I don’t remember where but I think it was implied Walter had a legit crush on alucard when he was 15 and alucard took the form of the girl (Walter didn’t know alucard was a man during that time)

  • @0hvist
    @0hvist 5 лет назад +5376

    That "No Smoking Sign" is a clever joke: considering that it was *_Hitler_* of all people that spearheaded the worlds' first "No Smoking" legislation due to research done in Germany that supported the fact that Lung Cancer was heavily-connected to smoking. Enough support was done into the "No Smoking" campaign that it was mandated throughout most of Germany during WWII.

    • @olivercopeland5438
      @olivercopeland5438 4 года назад +349

      I think he also put up a bunch of animal right laws and was a vegetarian

    • @sasir2013
      @sasir2013 4 года назад +105

      @@olivercopeland5438 that's weird, I've heard about him eating meat while he was in prison, before he was elected

    • @wisemankugelmemicus1701
      @wisemankugelmemicus1701 4 года назад +206

      @@sasir2013 He lived a long life. Hitler changed over the years.

    • @MrDibara
      @MrDibara 4 года назад +300

      @@olivercopeland5438 Crazy how even a monster like him could actually have _some_ positives going for him. _(not like they justify the bad shit)_

    • @danielpryce7126
      @danielpryce7126 4 года назад +228

      MrDibara
      I mean, most racists tend to love their families. Cognitive dissonance and all that. It’s how we have radical groups willing to dehumanize groups and individuals to the point of mass execution.

  • @TheOneAboveACoupleOfPeople
    @TheOneAboveACoupleOfPeople 6 лет назад +570

    "Then your first order is keep your arm steady," may be one of the most bad ass things I have ever heard.

    • @TheOneAboveACoupleOfPeople
      @TheOneAboveACoupleOfPeople 6 лет назад +2

      Best one......big tittied police girl. That line will go down in history, since she never did. 😉

  • @84gssteve
    @84gssteve 6 лет назад +1376

    "Can we save Yumi?
    "Like in Tupperware containers?.....cause I didn't bring any!"
    .....best line ever.

    • @lauracarey4
      @lauracarey4 6 лет назад +23

      Don't forget the line were he says it is like a shark with the roys of teeth down there. It is better

    • @Kylel0519
      @Kylel0519 6 лет назад +4

      Laura Carey like a shark

    • @jaimezdevine7804
      @jaimezdevine7804 6 лет назад +1

      Steve po I totally agree best line ever 😂.

    • @excitedcat9517
      @excitedcat9517 6 лет назад +3

      @@lauracarey4
      *That's hot~*

    • @SonicBlue92
      @SonicBlue92 6 лет назад +6

      Looks like Walter made *SUSHI* out of *YUMI* in today's episode!

  • @EsteemedReptile
    @EsteemedReptile 2 года назад +592

    "So, you're finally inside of me. How does it feel?"
    Lines like this, delivered when Seras has a psychotic smile on her face, are absolute weapons grade writing. Putting aside how cute and funny it is, it's an example of just how dramatic a shift in her personality Seras has experienced. She's gone from this meek, doubtful, submissive half-breed to a fully fledged hellbitch of the night. Her soul is steeped in bloodlust, excitement and sex. She WANTS Pip to play along. She WANTS him to encourage her, tease her, gas her to commit acts of extreme viiolence. It feels good. She's finally found herself, and he was right there when she did.

  • @isaacgraff8288
    @isaacgraff8288 6 лет назад +2175

    "I require long walks at night."
    "Will you behave?"
    "eh, more or less"

    • @MetalStorm98
      @MetalStorm98 5 лет назад +21

      Lmao me in a nutshell

    • @MadTurnip
      @MadTurnip 5 лет назад +27

      Underestimate of the friggin' century xD

    • @Mcaark
      @Mcaark 5 лет назад +52

      Narrator, “He did not behave... he did not behave at all...”

    • @aaronstallings4852
      @aaronstallings4852 5 лет назад +34

      "VERY enthusiastic walks."

    • @matthewwells8377
      @matthewwells8377 5 лет назад +6

      @@Mcaark More less.

  • @juandeluna1976
    @juandeluna1976 4 года назад +3484

    “To think someone so JUVENILE could be so POWERFUL!”
    Goku enters the chat

    • @cyrusmuller6502
      @cyrusmuller6502 4 года назад +44

      It’s be goku has left the chat goku already watching apparently abridged he’ll sing is one of chi chi’s pornos

    • @chadohunayo9721
      @chadohunayo9721 4 года назад

      Only super Goku is childish

    • @desertsandfly2277
      @desertsandfly2277 4 года назад +6

      @Mr. Logic Man but I would like you to compare an actual child to a 40 year old manchild.

    • @jaisotheunfathomablybased7135
      @jaisotheunfathomablybased7135 4 года назад +1

      @Mr. Logic Man you said dragon ball the original. Where Goku was a child.
      And you used "as well" to compare the two, even though one is 40+ and the other is under 22

    • @jaisotheunfathomablybased7135
      @jaisotheunfathomablybased7135 4 года назад +3

      @Mr. Logic Man What're you talking about? The first comment is about Goku, but you made a comparison? Are you not comparing DB Goku to DBS Goku even thought your comment clearly says "Goku was goofy back in the original as well"?
      The original comment says "How can someone so juvenile be so powerful?" Followed by "Goku enters the chat"
      And then you said "he was pretty goofy back in rhe original as well" you compared the original to dbs by saying he was "goofy in the original as well" AS WELL

  • @connorb6613
    @connorb6613 5 лет назад +2389

    "Also, get outta me boob!"
    "But zere's so much space in here!"

  • @theghostoftom9916
    @theghostoftom9916 2 года назад +350

    I was peeing myself laughing when the werewolf died. I was not expecting a high pitched scream.

    • @shewolfroux6091
      @shewolfroux6091 Год назад +26

      I was milking a goat when I watched this episode for the first time. The noise I made scared the crap out of both of us.
      The screech had me rolling on the ground.

    • @brittaney6722
      @brittaney6722 Год назад

      ​@shewolfroux6091 first time I saw it that noise scared the crap out of my cats especially our Maine coon

    • @assfuckerthejointpounder5834
      @assfuckerthejointpounder5834 10 месяцев назад

      ​@@shewolfroux6091oh if that got recorded, you would have such a funny video

    • @shewolfroux6091
      @shewolfroux6091 10 месяцев назад

      @@assfuckerthejointpounder5834 I keep joking that I need to get a helmet go pro for this exact reason.

    • @gabrielhughes8221
      @gabrielhughes8221 2 месяца назад

      😂🤣😅 lol Right same here😊

  • @spencerC23
    @spencerC23 6 лет назад +5289

    I would like to see a castlevania abridged just so we can keep the alucard voice actor

    • @idonthaveskill5054
      @idonthaveskill5054 5 лет назад +284

      I TOTALLY AGREE

    • @wolfmatic399
      @wolfmatic399 5 лет назад +180

      Dude yes! Scream it from the hills.

    • @kiroat
      @kiroat 5 лет назад +148

      Takahata is great.

    • @thepurplea1925
      @thepurplea1925 5 лет назад +99

      @@scotcheggable Dracula, but probably the beginning of the man we love.

    • @bassettehound
      @bassettehound 5 лет назад +86

      He plays Cell in dbza. Perfect cells personality is identical to Alucards as well.

  • @frankjournal340
    @frankjournal340 6 лет назад +919

    " a blast from your past with mad sass and loli ass..." Is one of the single greatest lines I've heard from tfs

    • @aeternusdoleo4531
      @aeternusdoleo4531 6 лет назад +38

      Privilege: Checked!

    • @gamersxpro1234
      @gamersxpro1234 6 лет назад +27

      The voice switch was very disturbing

    • @IRONHEART49
      @IRONHEART49 6 лет назад +8

      Joko Luzon but not surprising

    • @BreezeOTM
      @BreezeOTM 6 лет назад +15

      "Wait, then that implies that the queen..."

    • @SinnermanZeke
      @SinnermanZeke 6 лет назад +1

      mason ranks i foresaw him saying this 😂

  • @octogen1282
    @octogen1282 6 лет назад +778

    The no-smoking gag caught me off guard. Freaking brilliant.

    • @scottylilacleona9193
      @scottylilacleona9193 6 лет назад +52

      Gen it's true tho, they probably wanted to avoid another Hindenburg and nazis were the first to have anti-smoking legislation. So it makes sense as well.

    • @Zenn_Chan
      @Zenn_Chan 6 лет назад +11

      possibly my favourite joke in all of this series. Like, at all

    • @daswasich1147
      @daswasich1147 6 лет назад +5

      i liked every bit of this Episode, but the "rauchen verboten" gag was the only one i had to pause the Video to until i was able to stop laughing ^^

    • @tonijelecevic4332
      @tonijelecevic4332 6 лет назад

      German Laws are the best!

    • @iphone777
      @iphone777 6 лет назад +6

      Logan Anderson nazi Germany was the first country to acknowledge the health hazards of smoking and banned it in many places, the rest of the western world smoked everywhere inside and out where nazi Germany was like modern America in regards to smoking laws

  • @quinntic2887
    @quinntic2887 2 года назад +350

    “So Arthur’s an *actual* daddy now” had me dying

    • @demi-femme4821
      @demi-femme4821 2 месяца назад +1

      Nobody questions it when they assume that Alucard was just Arthur's gimp.

  • @cunningsmile4166
    @cunningsmile4166 5 лет назад +3606

    "No momma. He was my dawg. Ill do it."
    Ol yeller.

    • @docthefaust4519
      @docthefaust4519 5 лет назад +37

      Structured differently, the old Yeller quote? Or did you just misquote?

    • @antitheist3206
      @antitheist3206 5 лет назад +51

      My question is how the hell he even gets that reference.
      He got TV like a month ago.

    • @tinkerer3399
      @tinkerer3399 5 лет назад +55

      @@antitheist3206 He got *A* TV like a month ago. He's been active for about a decade. And that movie came out before he was imprisoned. Plus he's been eating peoples souls and memories and what not. Soooo yeah, lots of opportunities to pick up on Old Yeller.

    • @antitheist3206
      @antitheist3206 5 лет назад +19

      @@tinkerer3399
      Not really.
      Alucard doesn't interact with most humans, and again he *just* got television.
      Aside from him devouring people, not too many opportunities at all.

    • @tinkerer3399
      @tinkerer3399 5 лет назад +18

      @@antitheist3206 Anti Theist Huh? He's been shown to be a voracious consumer (ha) of media. He has had access to dozens of TV's over the Hellsing estate since he was woken up over 10 years ago. He only recently got his *own* television (and even then he could have had his own TV before that, just not a big screen TV). Additionally he wasnt imprisoned until after Old Yeller had been released for around 20 years. Plus even if you wanted to say that those dont count Old Yeller was originally a book that he could have easily read being in a big posh mansion with a huge library. Even being kept in seclusion for 20 years that's still between 30 and 45 years that he could have gotten that reference. And all of that is without counting all the memories he drank.

  • @12narutoshippuden11
    @12narutoshippuden11 6 лет назад +969

    WE WAITED 7 YEARS TO HEAR HIM SAY "Seems like things are Lukeing up for this Valentine"

    • @TheSahist
      @TheSahist 6 лет назад +28

      worth it

    • @fearthepiggaming2998
      @fearthepiggaming2998 6 лет назад +24

      No joke I straight-up called that line like four years back I mean if they didn't use it it would have been kind of an obvious joke just left there

    • @malfuller3367
      @malfuller3367 6 лет назад +2

      Fear the Pig Gaming when you straight up call a joke

    • @TheDeadGunslinger
      @TheDeadGunslinger 6 лет назад +3

      7 years..

  • @apollo193
    @apollo193 6 лет назад +763

    “Except my boss is a woman.
    I was a chick in the 40’s.
    I hate EVERYONE EQUALLY.
    AND THERE’S NO ONE ALIVE WHO CAN COMPREHEND MY SEXUAL PREFERENCE!!!”
    That line has SO much more meaning now, holy shit.

    • @CrazyDutchguys
      @CrazyDutchguys 6 лет назад +113

      rows of teeth
      like a shark

    • @AngryTruthSeeker
      @AngryTruthSeeker 6 лет назад +36

      Eyes for days, eyes for days.)))

    • @Noakami-009
      @Noakami-009 6 лет назад +6

      I read the manga so I knew what that meant

    • @aster1760
      @aster1760 6 лет назад +29

      @dumbshadow111, Alucard/Dracula/girlycard, changes appearance and form every time he reincarnates, its not that he can change sex so much as hes a new person with the same soul, he can revert back to his previous incarnations but they each have their own differences.

    • @RavnVidarson
      @RavnVidarson 6 лет назад +10

      @@aster1760 So... is he a Time Lord?

  • @samschellhase8831
    @samschellhase8831 3 года назад +360

    “Ya, I’m getting balls like a Smurf here”
    Never understood that line without the captions, and now that I do, it’s *golden*

    • @neonshiji3595
      @neonshiji3595 3 года назад +6

      After 2 years, I still don’t get it

    • @legiontepes3474
      @legiontepes3474 3 года назад +38

      @@neonshiji3595 smurfs are blue. The nazis interrup the battle hence Alucard is blue balled. Goggle the term, mate

    • @mr.christopher79
      @mr.christopher79 Год назад +2

      ​@@legiontepes3474does one need to put on their beer goggles to do so?

  • @NicoUnken
    @NicoUnken 5 лет назад +2286

    "Keep your arm steady..."
    DAMN I love how badass Integra is even when she was young!

    • @wandanemer2630
      @wandanemer2630 5 лет назад +78

      And the awesome touch of her girly voice turning into the deeper, BADASS voice she has as an adult.

    • @Sabiyori
      @Sabiyori 5 лет назад +47

      That´s why Alucard loves her

    • @abhabh6896
      @abhabh6896 4 года назад +40

      @@Sabiyori In original sub he tells her that he gets a boner from listening to her while they talked over the phone.....

    • @divinityquartz3428
      @divinityquartz3428 4 года назад +11

      fucking power move and a half

    • @Shou_22
      @Shou_22 4 года назад +13

      @@abhabh6896 He said it too here in the abridged too...

  • @akiramakara2062
    @akiramakara2062 4 года назад +4210

    The pettiness of the line "You're gun looks ridiculous. " is criminally underrated.

  • @cale0176
    @cale0176 2 года назад +291

    I just noticed, you guys "fixed" the unlit cigar Integra tosses during the Major confrontation.

  • @jaquanoliver8531
    @jaquanoliver8531 6 лет назад +519

    "After all these years you finally get to stick it in me and you put it in the wrong hole"- Girlycard2018

  • @anthonydoll8574
    @anthonydoll8574 4 года назад +5389

    Dungeon Master: "Why can't you take this seriously?!"
    Player: "Because that's what you want! And I'm not going to give it to you!"
    D&D in a nutshell.

    • @Prince__Teclis
      @Prince__Teclis 3 года назад +64

      Honestly, I always though Alucard was more of a VtM man than a D&D man.

    • @blasen_schlampe1108
      @blasen_schlampe1108 3 года назад +4

      Yep

    • @JessDC2006
      @JessDC2006 3 года назад +11

      @@Prince__Teclis Same. I wonder what clan would he belong to...the Baali bloodline maybe?

    • @Hellenrockandroll301
      @Hellenrockandroll301 3 года назад +31

      @@JessDC2006
      Tzimisce.
      Unironically they're famous because Tepes/Dracula is a Tzimisce himself.

    • @Symmetriad
      @Symmetriad 2 года назад +3

      "That or my pussy."
      Bard: "RRRRGH!"

  • @lumberluc
    @lumberluc 5 лет назад +3890

    Walter: "I'm sure you're wondering why I went through all this... Why I abandoned my home and duty, just to KILL YOU!?
    Alucard: "oh,because you want to F*** me."
    *Silence*
    That was golden. Thank you for the show.

    • @thomas-stilinski8149
      @thomas-stilinski8149 5 лет назад +23

      lumberluc I agree

    • @excitedcat9517
      @excitedcat9517 5 лет назад +279

      In that moment of silence I was like
      "He didn't deny it...
      *HE'S NOT DENYING IT!!!"*

    • @sebastianb.3978
      @sebastianb.3978 4 года назад +52

      lumberluc then a few seconds later "consider yourself fucked, Alucard!"

    • @DemonicRemption
      @DemonicRemption 4 года назад +20

      @@excitedcat9517
      EXACTLY! So Alucard was right...

    • @crowthewicked8344
      @crowthewicked8344 4 года назад +38

      @@DemonicRemption If Walter didn't betray them, would Alucard be down to... Go down?

  • @OkamiSykan
    @OkamiSykan 3 года назад +187

    Weirdly enough, after three years, it just now hit me that it wasn't just Dracula calling Seras by her name instead of police girl; he still does it as Alucard after the change. Very nice touch.

  • @silver7215
    @silver7215 6 лет назад +678

    A classic spin on the meme!
    *OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRU*
    _NO U_

    • @sarafontanini7051
      @sarafontanini7051 6 лет назад +52

      what's hilarious is I do beleive the joke was noone understand Yumie in early episodes
      and then Walter casually reveals he could understand and speak japanese the whole time

    • @ValroggTheInvincible
      @ValroggTheInvincible 6 лет назад +9

      I mean, that was a joke that Fist of the North Star itself did back when it was running

    • @Str8edgejon
      @Str8edgejon 6 лет назад +4

      ( Looks down)
      Are You going to eat that?

    • @darksaiyan9103
      @darksaiyan9103 6 лет назад +1

      Okay that was good

    • @KonradCurves
      @KonradCurves 6 лет назад +1

      @@ValroggTheInvincible it wasn't a joke in North star

  • @the_nerd5976
    @the_nerd5976 6 лет назад +1494

    So that's where Walter got the vacation days idea.

    • @alexandrehenrique7203
      @alexandrehenrique7203 5 лет назад +58

      Personal experience. He and alucard are actually pretty similar

    • @Ft9218
      @Ft9218 5 лет назад +61

      Also he went to Brazil, where millennium was lol

    • @TheBeastr
      @TheBeastr 5 лет назад +17

      Wonder where he got facial mask of vampire DNA

    • @dragonsingamer8822
      @dragonsingamer8822 5 лет назад +4

      you do know when she was escaping to alucard she did say where he was

  • @josealarcon6284
    @josealarcon6284 6 лет назад +293

    "Okay I know its filthy rich coming from me but your powers are bullshit" that line had me dying

  • @venomasmark14
    @venomasmark14 Год назад +71

    17:17 the delivery of that "Oh my god-" sounds so perfect, like it fits the genuine disgust and shock of seeing something like that

  • @bigmanjeff8402
    @bigmanjeff8402 6 лет назад +348

    Hellsing - “this will be a great anime”
    Team four star - “hold my beer”

    • @bigmanjeff8402
      @bigmanjeff8402 6 лет назад +2

      Jesus I’ve never gotten this many likes before :0

    • @killernick25
      @killernick25 6 лет назад +11

      Hellsing: "This will be a great anime"
      Team Four Star: "We know how to make it better"

    • @hadynnewlands7906
      @hadynnewlands7906 6 лет назад

      Team Four Star: give me a minute

  • @TeddyVerseti1
    @TeddyVerseti1 5 лет назад +5384

    "It was a spa day, a deep tissue massage, and a face mask...of vampire DNA."
    "Pfft, if you wanted one of those, you could've just asked me."
    Nice. Nicely done.

    • @marieparisi4522
      @marieparisi4522 4 года назад +301

      "That and a facial of vampire DNA"
      "I could have given you one of those a loooooong time ago"

    • @DemonicRemption
      @DemonicRemption 4 года назад +169

      @GeissRoyal15
      In all seriousness, yeah, Walter could've just asked...

    • @howlingguardian9005
      @howlingguardian9005 4 года назад +176

      Took me three watches to realise that was a bukkake joke...

    • @NoNameAtAll2
      @NoNameAtAll2 4 года назад +26

      @@howlingguardian9005 oh ooooooh

    • @frannyc7248
      @frannyc7248 4 года назад +49

      I think I get the joke. So what he mean about giving him a face mask of vampire dna he meant by cum. Or maybe it's me thinking wrong.

  • @malikevans634
    @malikevans634 4 года назад +5363

    "Why can't you take this seriously?!"
    "Because that's what you want, and I'm not going to give it to you."
    Story of my life.

    • @smullins17
      @smullins17 4 года назад +20

      this isn't about you silly head.

    • @TheAnonyomusGuy
      @TheAnonyomusGuy 4 года назад +77

      So either you deal with a lot of people who don't take you seriously or you're dealing with a lot of asshats who expect to be taken seriously and get mad when you don't

    • @Cptn.JackWandil
      @Cptn.JackWandil 4 года назад +23

      That's a pretty short story

    • @malikevans634
      @malikevans634 4 года назад +53

      @@TheAnonyomusGuy In all honestly, it's both. Sometimes, you're not taken seriously when you feel you should. Sometimes, ya just gotta lighten up. In this case, you aggressor knows that, and holds it over you.

    • @magnusm4
      @magnusm4 4 года назад +30

      "Why can't you take this seriously"
      Global warming, a fucked up rigged stock market, genocide galores and clowns for politicians and you want me to take this adult foreplay of a society seriously? Be serious yourself and be honest for once WITHOUT anything you learnt to do after childhood. Or did you do like everyone else, and forgot what made you happy at all and pretend like acting as an adult is growing up?

  • @Verdugo_Arulaq
    @Verdugo_Arulaq 3 года назад +123

    “Sorry. This red riding hood BITES BACK”
    That’s such a clever line from Seras. She finally got a great one liner.

  • @greaterbeastxellas
    @greaterbeastxellas 6 лет назад +439

    "But Walter doesn't live in the dungeon he lives under the stairs!" "Hmmm"

  • @gnaynivlac
    @gnaynivlac 6 лет назад +444

    So, Pip is Nail now.

  • @kyleshiflet7932
    @kyleshiflet7932 5 лет назад +1416

    The captain being a werewolf is actually a call back to a SS guerilla unit called the werwolves who miserably failed at their job

    • @thomastakesatollforthedark2231
      @thomastakesatollforthedark2231 5 лет назад +21

      Kyle Shiflet bahhaha

    • @kyleshiflet7932
      @kyleshiflet7932 5 лет назад +3

      Why the bahaha

    • @thomastakesatollforthedark2231
      @thomastakesatollforthedark2231 5 лет назад +3

      Kyle Shiflet it’s funny

    • @kyleshiflet7932
      @kyleshiflet7932 5 лет назад

      @@thomastakesatollforthedark2231 oh

    • @jaredfrancis5062
      @jaredfrancis5062 5 лет назад +188

      Maybe, maybe not. It is quite possible that he's a werewolf because werewolves and vampires are often associated with each other in popular culture. Another indication that this is likely not the case is that he is wearing the uniform of the Afrika Corp rather than the SS. Fun fact, not all German soldiers were Nazis... many theories exist that the Captain is nothing more than an unwilling participant in Millinium. This becomes more apparent when you analyze his fight with Seras where he basically lets her kill him. That and he wears the Afrika Corp uniform, a unit of Germans that did not commit widespread atrocities like their SS counterparts.

  • @DivineAdversity777
    @DivineAdversity777 2 года назад +79

    I love the look of utterly adorable concern and disappointment on Sera’s face when she asks if Alucard is using words he heard on social media again 😂 It’s like somehow seeing his daughter make a 101% genuine disappointed mother face and I like to imagine Sera’s actually makes that face FREQUENT when Alucard starts spitting out mad funny’s lol

  • @marions.3657
    @marions.3657 4 года назад +4810

    Seriously they made seras and pips relationship so wholesome like all the bittersweet aspects is gone...

    • @somedickhead6255
      @somedickhead6255 3 года назад +416

      Even though, they literally make innuendos for most of the time they were together

    • @Shikaschima
      @Shikaschima 3 года назад +132

      How exactly ... is their relationship in canon?

    • @marions.3657
      @marions.3657 3 года назад +51

      @@Shikaschima I have no idea what i meant

    • @7sLucky
      @7sLucky 3 года назад +288

      @@Shikaschima never really explained, like Alucard’s relationship with Seras and Integra. I think it’s up to the viewer’s interpretation

    • @Ghost-hr3rq
      @Ghost-hr3rq 3 года назад +78

      @@7sLucky I mean they kissed

  • @Bouldergaming123
    @Bouldergaming123 5 лет назад +2071

    the nazi werewolf is my favorite, both in the normal anime and the abridged, also that little sound he made when he died, I'm not sure if it's cute, sad or strange maybe all of the above.

    • @BloodyBitch
      @BloodyBitch 4 года назад +149

      He's a good boy

    • @TheStrugglerDaniyo
      @TheStrugglerDaniyo 4 года назад +83

      Just to let you know TFS goku voiced him I thought who knows haha he wanted to die anyway so happy noise if nothing else lol

    • @tacosquirrel9509
      @tacosquirrel9509 4 года назад +57

      Im pretty sure its werewolf for "NO REGRETS BIIIIIITCH"

    • @heyoyo10gaming4
      @heyoyo10gaming4 4 года назад +33

      None of the above: It's God Damn hilarious.

    • @RabblesTheBinx
      @RabblesTheBinx 3 года назад +19

      @@TheStrugglerDaniyo no, MasakoX (Lawrence Simpson, the voice of Goku and Gohan in DBZA) voiced Herr Doctor, not The Captain. Mark Swint was the werewolf.

  • @Cbaker6191996
    @Cbaker6191996 6 лет назад +367

    "No mama, he was my dog. I'll do it." Old Yeller reference I freaking lost it.

    • @B3nKen0bi
      @B3nKen0bi 6 лет назад +18

      Krillin: HOW IS THAT A THING??!!!!

    • @aerykgunn
      @aerykgunn 6 лет назад +3

      Omg me too I literally laughed out loud hard.

    • @franknbeanz147
      @franknbeanz147 6 лет назад +2

      That was my favorite line

  • @DoomerNavajo7
    @DoomerNavajo7 2 года назад +42

    "Rows of teeth...like a shark" aside from the jolly wally lime that made me laugh even harder

  • @Draevan13
    @Draevan13 6 лет назад +240

    "Because you never got to hear 'Aaahhh, aaahhh, Walter-san, daisuki des!' You know, I mean, unironically. "
    Help I am cry

  • @Mswordx23
    @Mswordx23 6 лет назад +955

    Abridged Alucard is one of my favorite characters _ever, period._ I'm completely serious.

    • @bizarreyapper7187
      @bizarreyapper7187 6 лет назад +35

      Can I get an amen in here?

    • @vizunalvarez883
      @vizunalvarez883 6 лет назад +31

      @@bizarreyapper7187 A-FUCKING-MEN

    • @JeiJohnson
      @JeiJohnson 6 лет назад +8

      Ironically to your statement... He's not serious. Like at all.

    • @alemirdikson
      @alemirdikson 6 лет назад +7

      Abridged Kirito comes pretty close.

    • @markocumic8287
      @markocumic8287 6 лет назад +4

      alemirdikson abridged kirito is good but he’s not even in the same league as alucard

  • @FirstLast-cg2nk
    @FirstLast-cg2nk 6 лет назад +492

    Walter: "Why can't you take this seriously?"
    Alucard-ette: Because that's what you want, and I'm not going to give it to you."
    Alucard's character summed up in a single sentence, right there. He doesn't take anyone seriously, specifically because everyone wants him to take them seriously, and nearly all of them aren't worth the effort.

    • @hunterwolf5482
      @hunterwolf5482 6 лет назад +28

      this current form of alucard is named, girlycard. just letting yknow

    • @FirstLast-cg2nk
      @FirstLast-cg2nk 6 лет назад +60

      @@hunterwolf5482 Or maybe *Trap-Card?*

    • @Volvandese
      @Volvandese 6 лет назад +14

      @@hunterwolf5482 don't you mean Galucard?

    • @Louisee77
      @Louisee77 6 лет назад +37

      he took anderson seriously i'm pretty sure, but since alucard knew walter would get cucked by his own surgery, he didn't have to worry.

    • @BlithedEver
      @BlithedEver 6 лет назад +41

      Alexander Anderson got his seriousness though, he was totally worth the effort

  • @katanakid13
    @katanakid13 3 года назад +83

    6:38 Al's entire personality makes sense! He's learned everything from the Internet!

  • @Snoogen11
    @Snoogen11 4 года назад +3109

    Think of how strong Dracula would actually be after drinking Hellsing blood. A physical manifestation of evil drinking the blood of people literally descended from angels.

    • @zombiedemon1762
      @zombiedemon1762 4 года назад +212

      Hellsing is a family of angel descendents? When was that revealed?

    • @Snoogen11
      @Snoogen11 4 года назад +641

      @@zombiedemon1762 It isn't revealed in this series, but in mythology, the original hellsing, was the arch angel gabriel, who was sent to earth to destroy great evils. But he took the form of a human man. Hence, he was part human, part angel. Since Integra Fairbrook Windgates Hellsing, is descended from that man, she is in fact, part angel.

    • @zombiedemon1762
      @zombiedemon1762 4 года назад +165

      @Snoogen11. Thats amazing. I thought Hellsing was only made up by the creator of the Hellsing manga.

    • @silverdays2909
      @silverdays2909 4 года назад +242

      @@zombiedemon1762 he was in the book Dracula and he was a goofy doctor and the best version

    • @zombiedemon1762
      @zombiedemon1762 4 года назад +34

      @Silver days. Gabriel was a goofy doctor?

  • @zenick4803
    @zenick4803 6 лет назад +675

    FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS I LAY DORMANT WHO DARES DISTURB MY oh its hellsing abridged.

  • @Technodreamer
    @Technodreamer 5 лет назад +1429

    "This Red Riding Hood bites back." God, her delivery on that line is just brutal.

    • @davidrp39
      @davidrp39 4 года назад +38

      Seras delivery on almost everything is awesome

    • @superanimeniac
      @superanimeniac 4 года назад +24

      he's a fantastic VA

    • @pixwool
      @pixwool 4 года назад +3

      superanimeniac *she

    • @magnaz888
      @magnaz888 4 года назад +5

      *he

    • @superanimeniac
      @superanimeniac 4 года назад +11

      @@pixwool he. Nowacking is a guy.

  • @haydes1285
    @haydes1285 2 года назад +95

    I like how Walter and seras still have respect for each other after everything

  • @catsinthebag980
    @catsinthebag980 6 лет назад +428

    “Ah Walter-san, daisuke-desu!”
    I had to pause it bc I was crying from laughing so hard.

  • @moonleafteaofthemonth
    @moonleafteaofthemonth 6 лет назад +2864

    Does this mean the Thanksgiving Turkey this year was actually the Fear Turkey?

  • @spdutahraptor777
    @spdutahraptor777 4 года назад +4255

    Pip: "he hit you!! what are you going to do about it??"
    Seras: "hit him harder!!!"
    Piccolo: "that sounds like something Goku would say..."

    • @aredjayc2858
      @aredjayc2858 3 года назад +92

      "Who have you never beat?"

    • @jordanbauerly8843
      @jordanbauerly8843 3 года назад +76

      Nail: Have you tried it?

    • @shadowclaw7210
      @shadowclaw7210 3 года назад +69

      Sera:Ok who because I don’t remember having green slug man in my head or inside me huh gross
      Piccolo:You know you sound racist

    • @dustinbrandel59
      @dustinbrandel59 3 года назад +32

      Hahaha, Nail on the head. Pun intended.

    • @MrAngelofflames
      @MrAngelofflames 3 года назад +31

      And remember that time when you never beat him?

  • @olimar243
    @olimar243 2 года назад +41

    "in the mouth" and "at least pay my cab fair" made me love that character

  • @GrimCheeseWheel
    @GrimCheeseWheel 6 лет назад +813

    I went into this expecting Alucard to actually do a female voice after turning into a girl, and I was not disappointed. 👌

    • @slavkei
      @slavkei 6 лет назад +38

      I don't think he did in the original either.

    • @therealnerdyg
      @therealnerdyg 6 лет назад +73

      I really hope they have alucard keep changing from male to female voice depending on joke/scene.

    • @kakashihatake313
      @kakashihatake313 6 лет назад +21

      @@therealnerdyg I'm sure they will. Just to keep screwing with ol' Jolly Wally.

    • @Forgenshoot
      @Forgenshoot 6 лет назад +26

      The best part was that that's Taka's sister doing that line.

    • @kakashihatake313
      @kakashihatake313 6 лет назад +1

      @@Forgenshoot seriously?

  • @bogustoast22none25
    @bogustoast22none25 6 лет назад +177

    "but really you're dodging a bullet there. ROWS of teeth."
    "For the love of-"
    "Like a shark."

    • @heretyk_1337
      @heretyk_1337 6 лет назад +3

      Aaand they even managed to "squeeze" in joke about Vagina Dentata- which is doubly funny because vampires, and when we consider what that name really means and we compare it to Alucard`s personality in this version... Multi layered joke here :) i am impressed
      And on the side note- did they just fucking used music from Kuroshitsuj? That is another joke inside a joke :D

    • @deathmastersful
      @deathmastersful 6 лет назад +4

      I love alucard. I mean he sums up exactly why we like him
      Walter; “why won’t you take this seriously?!”
      Alucard; “because that’s what you want”

    • @swiftstrike4044
      @swiftstrike4044 6 лет назад +3

      This is why we all love alucard. Spends the last 5 minutes getting his ass kicked and he's still a total troll

  • @magmat0585
    @magmat0585 3 года назад +1113

    "Forgetting to feed one's gimp is a common mistake"
    Sounds like Richard Traitorus Hellsing is speaking from experience

    • @bodenking
      @bodenking 2 года назад +51

      We don’t know how many dead bodies they got in the basement

    • @masscreationbroadcasts
      @masscreationbroadcasts Год назад +1

      I missed that line, where was it?

    • @Okbuddypal
      @Okbuddypal Год назад +4

      ​​@@masscreationbroadcasts3:41

    • @brittaney6722
      @brittaney6722 9 месяцев назад

      I'm a fuck-mothering vampire! I killed a lot of people to get this title; I deserve to be called such!

  • @pkphantom
    @pkphantom 3 года назад +67

    *HOW DID I NOT KNOW THEY FINISHED THIS SERIES?!*
    Also, Seras and Pip flirting with each other was gold

  • @mayzenin143
    @mayzenin143 4 года назад +1720

    "So Arthur's an 'actual' daddy now"
    Oooo that's kinky 😮

    • @sKyChaos399
      @sKyChaos399 4 года назад +30

      No shit lol

    • @Slick-Salamander
      @Slick-Salamander 4 года назад +109

      This also implies that Alucard was having sexual relations with him, and most likely the entire family line.

    • @TheMagickHat77
      @TheMagickHat77 4 года назад +106

      There isn't a being alive who can comprehend Alucard's sexual preferences.

    • @codysonic1
      @codysonic1 4 года назад +7

      I guess even himself

    • @Himmyjewett
      @Himmyjewett 3 года назад +22

      @@Slick-Salamander not that surprising considering what he said to the feminazi literally

  • @brainstormsurge154
    @brainstormsurge154 6 лет назад +351

    "Did you know you have paid vacation days?"
    Walter: "Ooo." Goes to Brazil. LMAO

    • @vaniljacob
      @vaniljacob 6 лет назад +13

      I think after that, Integra made sure to never let anyone enter Brazil.

    • @dark1alucard
      @dark1alucard 6 лет назад +4

      @@vaniljacob uhhh u dont know about Alucard in Brazil I'm guessing?

    • @vaniljacob
      @vaniljacob 6 лет назад +6

      I do, that's why I made that joke.

    • @andymcneilly
      @andymcneilly 6 лет назад +1

      Now we know where Walter got the idea from for Alucard.

  • @eggomyweggo6576
    @eggomyweggo6576 6 лет назад +557

    I’d like to think the TFS canon for why the captain is a mute is because he’s got that crazy high pitch voice and no one would take him seriously

    • @grinshady0164
      @grinshady0164 6 лет назад +51

      I'd follow a man with a voice like that tbh

    • @isaacpensworth1458
      @isaacpensworth1458 6 лет назад +22

      I thought they gave him that voice just to make it funny but after reading your comment it makes perfect sense

    • @xmm-cf5eg
      @xmm-cf5eg 6 лет назад +61

      I mean, that 10 foot long C-96 pistol was compensating for SOMETHING...

    • @Zero00wolfkiller
      @Zero00wolfkiller 6 лет назад +37

      Oh my god I just realized that the captain is basically Pica from One Piece.

    • @eggomyweggo6576
      @eggomyweggo6576 6 лет назад

      Holy shit that’s a lotta likes

  • @5y9h3r
    @5y9h3r 3 года назад +58

    13:19 Had to look up the flavorade part and he’s not even kidding. God I love the attention to detail in this show.

    • @akumasstorytime3910
      @akumasstorytime3910 Год назад +3

      I mean the "No smoking" joke is also true. The nazis were super against Germans smoking.

  • @eren34558
    @eren34558 6 лет назад +832

    "Hit Him Harder!" Goku would be very pleased with you Seras!

    • @Devilsblight86
      @Devilsblight86 6 лет назад +28

      Eren Denburg Niederhoffer Even prouder if she had said, "Eat that horse."

    • @sstanford1331
      @sstanford1331 6 лет назад +8

      I can't get enough of her

    • @carllipsey1497
      @carllipsey1497 6 лет назад +10

      Hitting hard makes everything harder, including Pip!

    • @Chonkoyoinky
      @Chonkoyoinky 6 лет назад +3

      *police girl

  • @MatsuoTanuki
    @MatsuoTanuki 5 лет назад +831

    Oh damn, I just realized something. Yumi was one of the millions of souls Alucard absorbed into himself when he drank all the spilled blood in London.
    That must have been an interesting conversation he had during those decades he was gone...

    • @Montesama314
      @Montesama314 5 лет назад +241

      "UGH! YOU'RE JUST GAY--oh, wait, you already know. Good. Why are you still here?"

    • @lewisalvarez2859
      @lewisalvarez2859 5 лет назад +123

      Montesama314 probably she wanted to take a ride of the crimson fucker express, I mean, he CAN turn into a woman

    • @charlottewalnut3118
      @charlottewalnut3118 5 лет назад +63

      Lewis Alvarez Given that he killed what is essentially her father she probably wanted to try to murder him

    • @lewisalvarez2859
      @lewisalvarez2859 5 лет назад +45

      Yushiro Shihoin ooooor, she wanted. To ride. The crimson fucker. Express. After he whoops that ass real quick.

    • @iceluvndiva21
      @iceluvndiva21 5 лет назад +65

      That and she probably wasn't ashamed of being a possible lesbian. She's just like "because I was killed simply for being in love with a German woman who loved me back. And I wasn't about to apologize for it. So basically same issue as you; we both aren't sorry for what we did and are expected to apologize."

  • @PSC4.1
    @PSC4.1 4 года назад +2383

    Walter has one sick comeback line against the your already dead line, and he even said it in Japanese, this is too good. 7:00

    • @ytjazz1011
      @ytjazz1011 4 года назад +114

      Hai, omae da. Demo watashi wa?

    • @geraldyeager7652
      @geraldyeager7652 2 года назад +23

      Ha no you

    • @vincenoces4925
      @vincenoces4925 2 года назад +40

      Really gave the middle school come back I know you are but what am i

    • @MSCDonkeyKong
      @MSCDonkeyKong 2 года назад +11

      i need to memorize this
      fuck, maybe i should learn japanese just to give witty comebacks to shit like this

    • @gagida1829
      @gagida1829 2 года назад +9

      As a person who understand Japanese it doesnt make sense

  • @xavierjack391
    @xavierjack391 3 года назад +108

    9:39 I mean, so like, it was heavily implied ESPECIALLY in the abridged series, but…like…does this confirm that the entire Hellsing staff are swingers for each other? In terms of the abridged series that is. 😭

    • @jamesbrown6994
      @jamesbrown6994 4 месяца назад

      I mean, with that level of overt sexual tension, I'm surprised they don't do it every Friday

    • @KaoticReach1999
      @KaoticReach1999 3 месяца назад

      No.

  • @66DoodleGal
    @66DoodleGal 6 лет назад +173

    Seras: THIS RED RIDING HOOD BITES BACK!!
    Pip: Huff and puff and BLOW ME!
    *those two are made for each other*

  • @Xtorin_Housecat_Ohern
    @Xtorin_Housecat_Ohern 6 лет назад +322

    "that's right, it's a blast from your past with that sass and loli ass"
    Alucard sounds like the MC at a burlesque show announcing a very morally questionable performer

    • @lenmutt
      @lenmutt 6 лет назад +16

      Shhh don't talk about Taka's side hustle.

    • @briannagarrett6637
      @briannagarrett6637 6 лет назад

      Xtorin O'hern what does he mean by that, plus what did Alucard and the butler turn into

    • @12Mantis
      @12Mantis 6 лет назад

      Isn't that how he normally sounds?

    • @rosehearttoxic1691
      @rosehearttoxic1691 6 лет назад +4

      @@briannagarrett6637 Alucard was a chick in the 40's and Walter was a teenager that had a boner for that Loli booty

    • @theonewayroad3867
      @theonewayroad3867 6 лет назад +4

      @@briannagarrett6637 what do you mean ? Walter began rapidly aging backwards because of the rushed human to vampire surgery and to taunt him Alucard took the female ( Girlycard ) form he was using when Walter was that young and they were slaughtering Millennium the first time.

  • @beyondlovesyou6775
    @beyondlovesyou6775 6 лет назад +237

    "A facemask.... of vampire DNA"
    "If you wanted one of those you couldve just asked."
    I am.... *Disgusted*

    • @eren34558
      @eren34558 6 лет назад +8

      I am...Curious

    • @gantzisballs
      @gantzisballs 6 лет назад +14

      Walter has lost Alucard's respect, so he receives a lot of lewd comments in this episode.

    • @nameless4224
      @nameless4224 6 лет назад +3

      I am.... *Excited*

    • @MrUrkel0730
      @MrUrkel0730 6 лет назад +6

      I'm sickened.... but curious

    • @greenfolder2437
      @greenfolder2437 6 лет назад +6

      I temper my sense of decency in expectation.

  • @tbopetc4390
    @tbopetc4390 Год назад +150

    Did you noticed that Integra got sexual aroused when she saw Alucard cosplaying a meat grinder?

  • @Nyerguds
    @Nyerguds 5 лет назад +2970

    "Please support the official release" - but... your version is so much more fun!

    • @liquidsleepgames3661
      @liquidsleepgames3661 5 лет назад +13

      Ive only been able to watch the offical release 1 time. I have watched the abridge series atleast 10

    • @manmayhem923
      @manmayhem923 5 лет назад +1

      @@scotcheggable I fell asleep during it

    • @chufeng6223
      @chufeng6223 5 лет назад +4

      This is the true canon!
      We all know this!

    • @canaisyoung3601
      @canaisyoung3601 5 лет назад

      Yeah!

    • @Dolphinjamez
      @Dolphinjamez 5 лет назад +10

      @@scotcheggable Both of them are amazing in their own way in my opinion.

  • @ZiggEnt86
    @ZiggEnt86 6 лет назад +475

    Not sure which is more funny; That the were-wolf pointed out the non-smoking sign, because they are on an airship (which tended to be something you'd not want sparks near) and that is part of the actual show, or the mere fact he points the sign out, while the airship is on fire.

    • @s6th795
      @s6th795 6 лет назад +62

      In the original it was a sign pointing out directions to the bridge, which is where Integra is heading.

    • @ZiggEnt86
      @ZiggEnt86 6 лет назад +10

      Okay then, I have been found out! I haven't seen the original works (though I did grow up watching DBZ, so I still feel like my claim has at least some "oompf" backing it up, in that TFS are a very talented community)
      That is still pretty funny, though. The original scene and the re-edit, both.
      Thanks for the clarification. I hope, after reading the whole response, that my initial response sounds less "ermahgerd"

    • @paw1444
      @paw1444 6 лет назад +33

      General Malarky it’s funnier if you realize the Nazis hated smoking

    • @dereknight861
      @dereknight861 6 лет назад +13

      Paw wait For Fucking Real?!?
      I mean I don’t smoke or care for the stuff but I mean..I never knew, Hitler was a poster child for Anti-Smoking movement...I...don’t know how to feel about this.

    • @joshuaobryan4896
      @joshuaobryan4896 6 лет назад +17

      Derek Night you think that’s bad he was actually all about preserving Jewish heritage and was going to have a Jewish museum to commemorate all the people he killed...he was a very mentally disturbed individual