@@ThomastheRiolpixQueenthe person who said the line from the original comment also voices Asuna in Something Witty Entertainment’s Sword Art Online Abridged series where their Asuna is wildly racist
True, unless the company who owns the content decides to release versions "edited for problematic scenes" like Disney has been doing with their older movies or HBO putting in trigger warnings on certain movies.
@@theirishviking9278to be fair, if you have a 50/50 shot of obliterating your otherwise immortal, indefatigable, god-like Rival, those are really good odds. So many anime protagonists and antagonists have gambled so much more than that on worse odds.
Fun fact, if you would look at Integra's hand a bit after the Major died it is shown that she is holding a recorder, this is because a few eps earlier the queen told her to record the Major last words so she could sleep to it. It took me a real long fucking time to realize this joke.
okay, so: Alucard helped 3,424,867 people getting over their problems in 20 years, that's 171,243.34 people a year, 481.02 a day, 20 people an hour, which means he helped everyone in an average of 3 minute He could basically skip 3rd of them with starting every conversation with "ya GAY!" but that only gives him about 4 minute per patient. that's still some good time he got there
Keep in mind he was getting better and better at it the whole time. He probably figured out how to read a person's problems and spit them back out in rapid succession by the end. Also he wasn't necessarily fixing folks just unburdening them, getting them to where they could walk the rest of the way to being better on their own. I do have to wonder what happened when he got to Schroedinger though. What do you even say to a fucking Nazi Catboi?
I mean, he has lived for quite a long time, and experienced far more of humanity than any actual human, and it's not like he had to take breaks or anything over those 20 years he was trapped there. He probably became better at psychiatry than all the best psychiatrists through history combined. Plus when it comes down to it, most human problems ultimately boil down to the same few dozen issues, just with slightly different specifics tying them together. It's just people naturally refuse to accept that. We like to think we're all special, but in reality we're generally not.
lets be real here how terrified would you be if you were already struggling to keep up your stamina and you managed to cut someone clean in half thinking you dealt the killing blow and they said that to you as they healed from the wound?
@@WiseSageBum not to sound corny...but that's because they embraced the talent they have, both for editing and voice acting...they brought so much to the table in both series that it's hard to actually take the original dubs seriously anymore
Honestly, it kind of took the opposite path; started as a joke, became a more serious legit dub in the middle, then became much less serious when Masako took over editing.
Zagham Karim it’s multi layered since A. It’s a smack at All Shonen sequels(current and potentially future), and B. It’s set 20+ years from our current timeline so it could happen given the current shonen trends lol.
@@Hbbb8 Her father was a greedy charlatan. The ballpoint pen wasn't invented until 1952, 7 years after the war ended. He sold people lies that he made up.
I think that's intentional considering Integra calls him a deadbeat in the same minute. They weren't wrong about their group relationship best being described as a porn tag - they're a twisted version of a nuclear family.
I mean it was news to him. (Narcissists really don't see themselves as bad because they love themselves too much. Alucard may have thought he was bad at some point in his human life but after becoming a vampire and losing his humanity? Good and bad kinda loses its importance. Imagine you have literally no one you can relate to, no one who is legitimately like you, and everyone around you is an objective means to an end only you decide - no real consequences one way or another, no ticking clock, no accountability, nothing. You might very well stop considering how you perceive your actions - you just do them and take pleasure in whatever gets your blood pumping. Morality is a human gripe).
@@Voc_spooksauce it's a reference to how during WW2 german police officers would arrest Jewish people so to get away many Jewish families hid in attics of non Jewish citizens Anne frank being the most famous example
@@Voc_spooksauce okay, during world war 2 the jews were arested and killed in concentration camps. For whatever reason, hitler saw them as evil and blamed them for all germanies problems at that time. Therefor the police (nazi's) arested all the jews. The jews eventualy started hiding from the nazi's in basements, attics, in between walls. But eventualy most were found and killed off in "labor" camps. Anne frank was a young jewish girl who wrote a diary about her time in the attic she was hiding in until the nazi's found her and killed her.
@@Voc_spooksauce a lot of jews and other targeted groups tried to hide from the nazis in order to survive. One of them was a jewish girl named Anne Frank who hid in an attic.
@@federalcasemaker Yes. The original Japanese version of Hellsing Ultimate's first episode opened on joke making fun of another anime and for funsies aired the last episode a full 12 years after the last episode SHOULD have aired and the last scene in the end credits was another joke about that same anime. Just so i could point this out on a RUclips video.3 years later.
One thing i just realized, at one point, Alucard somehow managed to counsel the Nazi Vampires he more than likely absorbed, the Klansmen, the Crusaders, *and* Schrödinger.
That's a good point... and bigger question, by doing so, did he just absorb schrodinger's ability in its entirety? Like, is schrodinger no longer attached to his ability, because if so, that is one hell of a therapist.
@@shadowsnake5133 In the words of the Major "Yet to consume a thing, is to know a thing and as our dear catboy stares into the abyss that is Alucard, that abyss, stares, back." So yea he probably managed to fix Schrodinger's cat problem and personality while he was at it.
the therapy thing makes more goddamn sense then the actual ending because we all know alucard could rip 3 million people down in like 2 years top but therapy? dear god that would take so goddamn long
I worked some stuff out with math. Alucard spent twenty years in limbo talking with 3,424,867 clients. One third of them were just gay. If we assume that these patients took one second to dismiss, it took 13 days for Alucard to tell 1141622.33333 people they were gay. The average Alucard therapy session lasted 4.73 minutes.
"What are you going to do? Call the person who can stop me, Michael Mcdoesn'texist?" -Alucard This episode: "Welcome home, Michael Mcdoesn'texist" -Sir Integra The only person who could stop Alucard was himself.
Not to mention the fact that the name is a in fact a paradox - Michael, giving something of existence a name, to a thing that "Doesn't exist." It's PERFECT.
He's a cyborg because he refused to "give up" and become a vampire. He had the opportunity to become a "true" vampire but refused to drink the blood. So, cyborg treatment. Alucard, the monster that behaves like a man. Major, the man who behaves like a monster.
"When you find him, and when you kill him... I want you to record it, so I can fall asleep to it e-e-e-every night." "Jesus fucking CHRIST, I'VE MISSED YOU!"
Integra: “Also where did you find a NAZI werewolf?” Major: “Where did you find Dracula?” Integra: “In a Basement” Major: “How Poetic we found our werewolf in an attic” Just love how they’re so nonchalant about it like it’s normal
@@Master_E444 And then the next line "The juden were the furher's obsession, not mine. ANNE FRANKLY, I'm quite insulted by the insinuation." This is in reference to Anne Frank, a jewish girl who was hiding away in an attic from the nazis with her family. Look up "The diary of Anne Frank".
10:25 wait WAIT WAIT WAIT, I JUST REALIZED; INTEGRA JUST CLICKED AN AUDIO RECORDER, TO RECORD THE MAYOR'S LAST WORDS, JUST LIKE THE QUEEN ASKED HER TO DO ON ABRIDGED 4, THEY EDITED THE LIGHTER INTO A RECORDER.
Ya know. I really didn't think it'd be an Anne Frank joke that would be the final nail in my coffin, but I KNOW I'm going to hell after laughing at "anne-frankly" as hard as i did.
I know i'm late to the party, but i'll try to bring snacks and drinks on the way down. Hey, if i'm gonna burn for eternity, I might as well have some fun with it.
@@silverdays2909 I'm trying to remember in the anime the major didnt explain how the cyborg technology came into fruition but more like he talked about his life story of how he became a cyborg himself
@@onepieceking1770 It's implied that Herr Doktor (who was a Millennium member and friends with the Major as far back as WW2) was the one who turned the Major into a cyborg after he sustained near-fatal injuries (namely being beaten and shot repeatedly) by Soviet forces at the end of the war, which is shown in the flashback you're probably referring to. The flashback also reveals that as the psychopathic Nazi lay dying, the same dark force which offered immortality to Dracula approached him as well, causing the blood of the slain to move towards him and imploring him to drink and live forever as a powerful vampire. Unlike Alucard, however, the Major refused the offer, repelling the demonic presence through sheer force of will, determined to remain a human even if it meant his death. Luckily for him, he was rescued by the Doktor and the surviving remnants of the Last Battalion mere moments later and (presumably) made a cyborg to save his life. This is why he insists so vehemently to Integra that despite his mechanical body, he is still a human being, as he still possesses his will and his soul (however black and twisted it may be), and it also explains why he has such hatred for Alucard in particular, as he sees the undead Count as a complete inversion of himself: A beautiful inhuman monster who is a beloved hero of humanity despite forsaking his own out of cowardice, while the Major is a vile and corpulent little man who acts as the ultimate villain and does monstrous things for savagely monstrous reasons despite being courageous and resolute enough to refuse becoming something inhuman even if it meant dying like a dog in a filthy gutter. Both characters hold humanity as a concept in high regard, placing man above even angels and gods, but the Major is a living testament to just how depraved and monstrous humans can be at our worst, first exemplified by the simple fact that he's a goddamn Nazi, probably the closest thing to "pure evil" that anyone in the human race ever became.
Before he was mostly immortal, he still had a weakness because all vampires do, even dracula. But now he’s Omnipresent, everywhere at once. Kind of like Dr. Manhattan in a sense
He can only die if he gets ordered to do or if the Hellsing family cancels the spell/contract that is binding Alucard. As long as Alucard thinks hes alive.. he is alive :D
@@Lunar1us No. The answer is right at the door. If we can imaginary merge heterosexuality in one person it will become futa. It isn't gay, it's hermaphrodite with extra steps. hermaphrodites are not traps. It's not gay. Its SUPER HERMO. It's absolute another sexuality so it's never been gay to begin with, end of story. Let's talk about why furry should be illegal.
A footnote that killed millions of people in a single night in a major European nation. Basically 9/11 on steroids if you are thinking about the effects it would have had on the UK for decades to come and the effects it would have on a nations psyche even after 30 years. The NAZI vampire and Catholic attack on London would have had huge effects no matter what. In theory if NATO exists in the Hellsing universe then NATO would be obligated to declare war on the Vatican is a big one. So in theory it could have led to a major conflict and the fracturing of NATO itself if some of the majorly Catholic nations in NATO didn't respond to their obligations or refused to maybe even decided to defend the Vatican. Which could in theory lead to wars in the long run. The Major doesn't think on short time scales. So war might be avoided right away but given enough time the events might set the stage for one.
@@maiqtheliar789 Nah, if there was a NATO vs Catholic nations war, Iscariots wouldn't visit Hellsing even in 30 years. It's more likely that Hellsing and Iscariot made a pieace pact and the broader public was told that Vatican just tried to help fight nazi vampires. And maybe Major was thinking on a long time scale, but he certainly didn't give a fuck about anything after his death. He went to defeat an ultimate enemy and die in a glorious battle, and that was it. If he wanted to sparkle another war, a real honest to God world war he should've present Millenium as an organization working for some other country.
@@sinistertwister686 But that is not what the Major wanted, he wanted Glory. Glory in his eyes and those of his compatriots. He said he wanted World War 3 but not for the sake of World War 3 but for the sake of Glory. That is my take anyway.
I have a headcannon that it took several years for Integra to realize that Pip is still around. Even after Pip showed himself multiple times it took a full Ted talk complete with a PowerPoint presentation from Seras and Pip for her to accept it.
@@emperorgrimlock7054 Yes, she does have the king of vampires working for her. However I find it hard to believe he's ever taken anyone's blood willingly. Not even sure if Seras counts. Pip however, was willing.
"...And I'm just going to assume.. A hamster on a wheel!?!" "His name is Hamburg.." Even years later, and in decades yet to come.. this will still be funny as all get-out.
That’s the point. In this continuity, Walter doesn’t get that privilege. He betrayed his country, his friends, Integra, and Hellsing itself, all for the chance to try and kill Alucard. So, why should Walter be redeemed? Plus, it actually fits better for Heinkel to kill him for avenge Yumie.
@@prestonstanley7736 Yumi and Anderson. I mean Anderson was going to die anyway but Walter is the one that actually killed him and didn't even give him the dignity of finishing his last words.
@@loskompas6184 more particularly, there was a fifty-fifty percent chance the it would work. 'The coin flips' and either the cat in the paradox stops existing, taking Alucard with it (Major wins, heads) or it doesn't, and Alucard stays (Major loses, tails).
@@abandonedbucharest7704 Except is words imply that the butchery of London was all as part of a giant gambit to put Alucard in that position. Anything other than killing Alucard was a side goal to him, one that the rest of Millennium just happened to fill ("Who gives a fuck? They're Nazis!"). He lost, yes, but because Alucard came back, not because he died after he completed his objective.
They asking where they found a werewolf or how he became a cyborg, but where the hell did they find the literal trap personification of uncertainty principle!
Finally. That is exactly what I thought. I mean they deal with vampires and ghouls on a daily basis. So why are they surprised because of an werewolf? Alexander Anderson even teased the werefolf thing when he was intimidating Integra for the first time in the Abridged back in episode 2 or so. For the Cyborg, these people were crafting an army of vampires and yet they ask how they could make one single cyborg. But bloody Schrödingers Cat is something that doesn't bother anyone
@@trulymrword my guess? he probably got a pregnant lady vampire with some kind of power about space or time, and set an experiment where the boy would be aborted in some cases, and not in anothers, all of them luck based, and let it unobserved for months or something like that
Sir Penwood: Can't [Alucard] fly with his vampire powers? Integra: What? No... No, he can't fly with his vampire powers! Seras: Don't mind me casually flying away from this incinerating blimp.
@@Mariwend Vampires can't cross running water. And the ocean counts as running water. Hence why the Major baited Alucard out to the ship in the first place and he had to sail the ship back to London. It's a neat little thing and calls back to the original Dracula novel with the Demeter (probably misspelled the name of the ship)
@@looniemoonie5955 I mean, I just never gave it much thought, I haven't seen any Dracula movies or TV shows besides Hellsing Ultimate (doesn't really count technically, but whatever) so I just thought it was basically plot convenience *shrug*
_Technically_ Seras didn't _fly_ she blood-tentacle grappled across the girders that line the inside of the blimp at a speed that the animators didn't care to draw
"She's lying! She was studying cybernetics!" "I can do both!" "Cybernetics? why?" "Because the Major was a cyborg" "Wowowow why was he a cyborg" "RIGHT?!" "That's just fucking stupid!" Their relationship is perfect😂😂
While Seras was in denial about loving being a vampire, Integra was in denial about being in love with Alucard. May the Count and Countess live forever.
@@samsonguy10k I absolutely adore how.. well.. more eccentric Seras becomes now as a full fledged vampire, its adorable, she does similar self-descriptions of herself as alucard. Ah.. the daughter grew up to be like her father!
@@SpectreRyder Only a man can defeat a monster. The major had made it his goal to defeat Dracula. As he said himself, adding extra machine parts is arguably no different than adding a pacemaker. He considered himself human to the end Considering Anderson still apparently counted despite being stuffed full of nanobots with hyperegen... probably checks out I'd say
For the record, he's a cyborg because he didn't want to get old and refused to become a vampire (He had the option) so he could remain a human when he killed Alucard
Ohhhhhh I was wondering what that was. I had assumed it was a detonator because of the fire right after but that makes much more sense. Hope the Queen isn't a Sound of Music fan.
It's Dracula asking, "Are WE a bad person?" That really brings to the surface what it is about Alucard. I feel there was a point when Dracula did hit a point in his murdering rampage that a fun-loving voice inside him asked just that. And it stopped Dracula. And then Alucard took the wheel with self-imposed limits that somehow Abraham Hellsing had figured out and used to capture him. Abraham spared Alucard because he was Dracula actually trying to find his humanity again. That's what actually scared Integra when she saw Alucard sucking up all of London. She wasn't afraid for London. It was already dead thanks to both the Major and Maxwell. It was Alucard giving in and becoming Vlad Dracula the Impaler again. Turns out, the Major's plan to remove Alucard from the board with Schrodinger actually turned out to be Alucard's salvation. Hmph, who knew?
I remember I had a dream a month or so after I saw this for the first time where I was in my living room and someone was sitting on the couch across from me. I couldn’t make out what they looked like but all they said was “are we a bad person” and it woke me up. Took me a week to figure out it was related to this
Im surprised no one has really mentioned that Seras was cat-calling Heinkel at 12:52. I find that gesture both funny and oddly wholesome in the whole "Like Father, like Child" sense.
On a serious note for people saying that Teen Titans Go ruined their childhood I feel like that they would have a pretty shitty childhood to say shit like that. Its annoying. But yeah that was pretty funny.
It's true, though. If more people realized that, then Teen Titans Go wouldn't be so hated (or it would only be hayed because Cartoon Network keeps endlessly rerunning it, though now they're mixing it in with Total Dramarama, The Amazing World of Gumball [only because that show is ending and they need viewers to catch it before it gets shipped off to Boomerang, like what happened to Adventure Time and Regular Show], and the myriad of cartoons made by CalArts graduates).
@@canaisyoung3601 I mean, it still would, because it's a trash show, and the reason people think so is because it essentially goes "remember that show you loved? well let's take that but if it was made by a ten year old". Sure, people can still watch the original, and the existence of the new show doesn't ruin childhoods, but it's still an awful show that specifically says "fuck you" to the fans of the old one.
8:42 a monologue with such quality writing and voice acting that you'd never expect it to come from an abridged version. Side note, One Piece sequel with Buffy the Vampire Slayer is something I would definitely give a try.
Well that's kind of the thing. The Major was always gonna win. Millennium wanted a glorious death, it was either victory or a glorious death. Quite ingenious
Exactly why he took such exception with Anderson becoming a "monster of God" in both this and the original. He swore he'd never allow another monster such as himself to exist in the world and was disgusted that Anderson would toss away his humanity just to kill him. Same with Walter.
I think that was when Dracula became Alucard. Dracula hit a point in his rampage where he saw the monster, only it was the monster in the mirror(Weird for a vampire, I know). And a fun-loving voice inside him said, "It's about time we dealt with all the monsters." And Alucard was born. See, that's the kinship Alucard and Alexander had. They were born from murder and rampage, but found fun in it in a way of dealing with the pain of knowing they are monsters themselves. "I like killing things because it's fun." - Alexander Anderson. And Alucard found fun in depriving all of his foes of any satisfaction in their attempts to destroy him. You see it when he is being confronted by Luke Valentine and Walter. Not really so much with Alexander, though. He teased Alexander now and then about the Catholic child abuse cliche, but that was it.
[Spoiler] Nope. Not over yet, Alucard. And Luffy's a Mythical Zoan-type, by the way, of a literal god. And Sabo wasn't dead, he ate Ace's Devil Fruit, but now Sabo's maybe dead. Enjoy, you fuck-mothering vampire.
Considering that Alucard spent 20 years (10,512,000 minutes) doing therapy for 3,424,866 people (excluding himself), that means he spent 10,512,000 / 3,424,866 = 3 minutes 4 second per person. Apparently Alucard is a really efficient therapist. Also want to add that this means Alucard's therapy takes 1,712,433 times longer than the average person.
considering all the shit he went through as Prince Vlad Tepes of Walachia and all the killings he's done, both as a mortal and after become King Of All Vampires; I'd say he definitely needed the massive therapy.
@@justpassingthrough686 what if they would have planned not to plan around there plan but planned by accident around there plan and suddenly they have to work by the plan?
Press F for Hamburg, he span the wheel until his very last breath. A true hero in this story of bleak shade of grey, a shining example of bravery and duty in the face of certain death. Rest in Pieces Hamburg, you will be missed.
Well, chaotic evil villains that have fun with their deeds will always be compelling characters. They have fun with pain and destruction and may even laugh when being stopped by the heroes. They may not care about the long run. Sometimes... they just want to cause an impression.
Not quite as this is Ultimate not Hellsing. They are slightly different things. Both are brilliant, and this is the most giggle worthy parody of Hellsing Ultimate I have seen.
After 8 years... It's done, Haven't felt this way in awhile. Now looking back, the cast had some big names, or BECAME big names during it's run, what a accomplishment this was!
man i remember randomly finding episode 1 and then a year later i saw episode 2 and i was like oh yeah this shit is awesome. now 8 years later, here we are, and a im so happy ty TFS! and shout out to Taka101!
@@TBKLumine Nah that's actually how posh people pronounce "ma'am". Which is a bit odd since she's a mockney, but ih, it works. And for those scenes specifically it could be both.
@@TBKLumine can also concur it's her saying "ma'am". If you watch the Daniel Craig bond movies, everyone responds to M (Judy Dench M) as "yes ma'am" and it also sounds like "yes mum" - it's just how English people pronounce ma'am.
My whole thing is isnt integra 22? So being that Seris is the "police girl," I would think she's at least 18. So jump 30 years they're 53 and 49. So mom? Ya know
Those crazy bastards. They did what nobody thought anyone could do... They completed an abridged series.
It's nice isn't it?
Metrion77
Sorry
But Gantz, berserk and Escaflowne abridged made by Hibi2k
If we go by quality then TFS are first.
SAO Abridged did finish a full season, though. And they had to build a proper story.
To be fair it took them like 10 years for 11 or 12 hours
It's a breath of fresh air ain't it?
"I don't wanna be racist buuuuuuuuut" coming from Abridged Asuna's VA is just fitting.
Omg that's the joke THANK YOU😂😂
Abridged Asuna was probably a part of the South Carolina Confederate congregation
context?
@@ThomastheRiolpixQueenthe person who said the line from the original comment also voices Asuna in Something Witty Entertainment’s Sword Art Online Abridged series where their Asuna is wildly racist
“Nobody ruined your childhood! The Teen Titans you liked is still on DVD!”
Ouch, I felt that one
the teen titans of zone-tan tho...
Fair point. This is how I still live knowing the madness that was the final seasons of Voltron: Legendary Defender still happen.
And left unresolved
Pretty true, doe I still feel sad that it wasn't given an ending
True, unless the company who owns the content decides to release versions "edited for problematic scenes" like Disney has been doing with their older movies or HBO putting in trigger warnings on certain movies.
“What did you do?!”
“I CALLED HEADS!”
That hits fuckin’ hard. Weirdly cool line & delivery.
The delivery, the scene, the music, holy shit
decades of planning and the best they could get was a 50/50 shot
i mean, they technically won@@theirishviking9278
@@theirishviking9278to be fair, if you have a 50/50 shot of obliterating your otherwise immortal, indefatigable, god-like Rival, those are really good odds. So many anime protagonists and antagonists have gambled so much more than that on worse odds.
@@theirishviking9278 and it wasn't even a permanent solution
"Michael McDoesn'tExist"
She was waiting _30 years_ to throw that one back in his face. 😂
I mean, he was half right.
You can legally call him that.
He waited 50 to get her in the sack...... id call it even.
The most vengeful ones are patients as saints
Well, he canonically for a bit didnt exist.
I just realized the Major's line "Come on bitch, show me what you love." Seras was holding a cannon, and as Alucard alwyas said
"Bitches love cannons."
*"BITCHES LOVE CANNONS!"*
“Bitches love cannons”
"Bitches love cannons"
"Bitches love cannons"
Fun fact, if you would look at Integra's hand a bit after the Major died it is shown that she is holding a recorder, this is because a few eps earlier the queen told her to record the Major last words so she could sleep to it. It took me a real long fucking time to realize this joke.
Oh snap! I just assumed it was (an admittedly big) cigarette lighter
@@MasterGriefSr Actually I did too
@@deaddog3400 yep!
Time stamp?
Oh, never mind
okay, so: Alucard helped 3,424,867 people getting over their problems in 20 years,
that's 171,243.34 people a year, 481.02 a day, 20 people an hour, which means he helped everyone in an average of 3 minute
He could basically skip 3rd of them with starting every conversation with "ya GAY!" but that only gives him about 4 minute per patient. that's still some good time he got there
something something speed of thought? That's pretty much the only way I can justify it.
That's almost as quickly as doctors shuffle through patients at the clinic.
Keep in mind he was getting better and better at it the whole time. He probably figured out how to read a person's problems and spit them back out in rapid succession by the end. Also he wasn't necessarily fixing folks just unburdening them, getting them to where they could walk the rest of the way to being better on their own.
I do have to wonder what happened when he got to Schroedinger though. What do you even say to a fucking Nazi Catboi?
I mean, he has lived for quite a long time, and experienced far more of humanity than any actual human, and it's not like he had to take breaks or anything over those 20 years he was trapped there. He probably became better at psychiatry than all the best psychiatrists through history combined.
Plus when it comes down to it, most human problems ultimately boil down to the same few dozen issues, just with slightly different specifics tying them together. It's just people naturally refuse to accept that. We like to think we're all special, but in reality we're generally not.
Weren’t they 30 years ?
So nobody is going to point out that the amount of souls within Alucard is the same as TFS's sub count? That we are ALL Alucard!?
I'm not crying
I may have screamed nowing he had used me for sips
Holy shit
We are all crying 😢
Well I am gay, I am not a sociopath, I'm a chandler (with a bit of phobe) and I don't have realationship issues. Sort that one out Alucard!
Gotta love how millennium's plan basically boils down to "feed Alucard until he gets the mother of all tummy aches"
I would say "slip Alucard a drug his didn't know he was taking to send him on one LONG ass trip" One hell of a roofy? Either way, one hell of a trip.
All millennium just did by the end was give Alucard an upgrade
More like "Brain freeze" but yeah
All these ⛶ makes a ⭕
More like "Slip Alucard a catboy roofie and have physics do the "work" afterwards."
I love the insinuation that a whole third of London is gay
A third of London, and the Crusaders, and Millennium.
Or a third of their audience.
@@gblackuser You mean AND.
I mean. It's not Brighton, buuuuuuut...
You mean that ONLY a third of London is gay?
no no no, it's that they were closet gay
_Ohhhh, Walter, you're splitting me in two...._
*_NOW DO IT ANOTHER 3 MILLION TIMES._*
Regular hentai be like:
*WHY DON'T YA?!*
lets be real here how terrified would you be if you were already struggling to keep up your stamina and you managed to cut someone clean in half thinking you dealt the killing blow and they said that to you as they healed from the wound?
that line has one of the coolest voice effects i've ever heard.
@@alucardsantradideus267no...no,just no. Thats not... Most times they dont make it past round 2.
started as a joke, ended as a legit Dub. Respect to the Crew.
Kinda the same way with DBZA, it got way more sophisticated the closer it got to the end
@@WiseSageBum not to sound corny...but that's because they embraced the talent they have, both for editing and voice acting...they brought so much to the table in both series that it's hard to actually take the original dubs seriously anymore
Honestly, it kind of took the opposite path; started as a joke, became a more serious legit dub in the middle, then became much less serious when Masako took over editing.
Feels like that's just kinda how it is with Abridged series
Too bad it became too filled with references for the humour or shitty sexual innuendos. /: writing got bad during the end sadly.
Hats off for series continuity.
This abridged series began and ended with a One Piece joke.
Also, how Integra recorded The Major's death so the queen can "Fall asleep to it every night."
Technically a naruto joke at the end because Boruto, hence Buffy
Zagham Karim it’s multi layered since A. It’s a smack at All Shonen sequels(current and potentially future), and B. It’s set 20+ years from our current timeline so it could happen given the current shonen trends lol.
One piece has 10 more years. We are already halfway through the story anyway
I just love this comment because I watched this all those years when it came out and this hits hard
"we find lots of things in attics...Anne Frankly..." Touche
i died not gonna lie lol
loved the dark word play.
Too bad Anne's father wrote half her diary in ballpoint pen well after she died of typhus in a German hospital.
@@eightywight In my opinion, that only makes it even more special. Except ballpoint. But we all had to learn once.
@@Hbbb8 Her father was a greedy charlatan. The ballpoint pen wasn't invented until 1952, 7 years after the war ended. He sold people lies that he made up.
14:02 i keep mishearing seras’s “ma’am” as “mum” and honestly that fits too
I was thinking the same thing
I think that's intentional considering Integra calls him a deadbeat in the same minute. They weren't wrong about their group relationship best being described as a porn tag - they're a twisted version of a nuclear family.
@@2ctheocean no that's just a British accent for you
I mean, It does fit, considering that Integra and Alucard are essentially the parental figures she needed in her life.
Especially the one that is followed by “the dead beat that left us for thirty years and never came back!” 😂
The only plot point left.
Is Alucard still pissed about his 70 inch plasma screen TV
Yes.
Absolutely
It was a 70 inch. Plasma. Flatscreen TV.
@@John.McMillan With Netflix
@@suarez9108 *with netflix*
I love how Alucard just stares blankly and thinks "... Am I a bad person?" after being an ass the entire series
Hey he was a good man
self-awareness is a bitch
You can be an ass and still be a good person. Hell the best and most loyal people I know are ASSHOLES, like, ALL THE TIME.
I mean it was news to him.
(Narcissists really don't see themselves as bad because they love themselves too much. Alucard may have thought he was bad at some point in his human life but after becoming a vampire and losing his humanity? Good and bad kinda loses its importance. Imagine you have literally no one you can relate to, no one who is legitimately like you, and everyone around you is an objective means to an end only you decide - no real consequences one way or another, no ticking clock, no accountability, nothing. You might very well stop considering how you perceive your actions - you just do them and take pleasure in whatever gets your blood pumping. Morality is a human gripe).
He was forced by the power of CATBOY to look at himself.
"We find lots of things in attics."
"Holy shit!"
"I meant antiques. Anne-Frankley, I'm insulted by the insinuation."
Holy crap! I can't believe it flew over my head before reading it like that.
Guess I'm still too distracted by Lani's silly german accent...
@@LonesomeDevil I don't really get the joke, what's the reference about attics?
@@Voc_spooksauce it's a reference to how during WW2 german police officers would arrest Jewish people so to get away many Jewish families hid in attics of non Jewish citizens Anne frank being the most famous example
@@Voc_spooksauce okay, during world war 2 the jews were arested and killed in concentration camps. For whatever reason, hitler saw them as evil and blamed them for all germanies problems at that time. Therefor the police (nazi's) arested all the jews. The jews eventualy started hiding from the nazi's in basements, attics, in between walls. But eventualy most were found and killed off in "labor" camps.
Anne frank was a young jewish girl who wrote a diary about her time in the attic she was hiding in until the nazi's found her and killed her.
@@Voc_spooksauce a lot of jews and other targeted groups tried to hide from the nazis in order to survive. One of them was a jewish girl named Anne Frank who hid in an attic.
6:00 took 4 years for me to realize that this was the final "bitches love cannons" joke
Oh god. Thanks, I missed that one
In 2010, Hellsing started with a One Piece joke and in 2018, Hellsing ends with a One Piece joke....
You mean actual Hellsing or?
@@federalcasemaker Yes. The original Japanese version of Hellsing Ultimate's first episode opened on joke making fun of another anime and for funsies aired the last episode a full 12 years after the last episode SHOULD have aired and the last scene in the end credits was another joke about that same anime.
Just so i could point this out on a RUclips video.3 years later.
Kkkkk it's beautiful
One piece is endless
lol going out the way they came in. How could they not?
One thing i just realized, at one point, Alucard somehow managed to counsel the Nazi Vampires he more than likely absorbed, the Klansmen, the Crusaders, *and* Schrödinger.
🤔 that never crossed my mind
That's a good point... and bigger question, by doing so, did he just absorb schrodinger's ability in its entirety? Like, is schrodinger no longer attached to his ability, because if so, that is one hell of a therapist.
@@shadowsnake5133 In the words of the Major
"Yet to consume a thing, is to know a thing and as our dear catboy stares into the abyss that is Alucard, that abyss, stares, back."
So yea he probably managed to fix Schrodinger's cat problem and personality while he was at it.
"Hey... I'm Hans."
"Ohhhhh for fuck's sake... alright, what have you got?"
"Well, it all started, when I got to burn down London bridge..."
[Maxwell at the bat]
"Well.... That's awkward"
the therapy thing makes more goddamn sense then the actual ending because we all know alucard could rip 3 million people down in like 2 years top
but therapy?
dear god that would take so goddamn long
He had a LOT to unpack with the other Alucard.
Well if he had to kill everyone along with himself then It'd make sense. It should technically be an eternal battle.
Turns out... A whole third of them... Were just in the closet
Yea.....
yeah.. i think it took him abooooout... thirty years XD
I love the “I CALLED HEADS!” line.
All of that planning, all of that work. All coming down to a coin flip. And he happened to call heads.
And the funniest of all: it took the proverbial coin thirty years to land, and it landed sideways.
And the Major said “I don’t gamble on maybes”.
50/50 was the best possible chance at beating Alucard and he knew it
“Something most foul and inhuman”
“A Frenchman in love with an Englishwoman”
Sacrée putain de merde ! But well, I'll ... allow it for this one. They deserve it ^^
Says the German who was in love with a japanese..😂
Or a Pole and a Russian
@@zenmaster8826 German and Japanese isn't that bad. But England and France has a history together... a looong history...^^
@@DefgirRZawa Germany and Japan have a history too, just a very different history lmao
I worked some stuff out with math.
Alucard spent twenty years in limbo talking with 3,424,867 clients.
One third of them were just gay. If we assume that these patients took one second to dismiss, it took 13 days for Alucard to tell 1141622.33333 people they were gay.
The average Alucard therapy session lasted 4.73 minutes.
Too bad they were all already dead
And then the one session for his self is the last 10 or so years
It’s currently 3:45am on my end so thank you for the math
jaidora California buddies! I should be sleeping.
no... round it out.... that 4mins 44 seconds.... is there some significance to 4.44?
"What are you going to do? Call the person who can stop me, Michael Mcdoesn'texist?" -Alucard
This episode:
"Welcome home, Michael Mcdoesn'texist" -Sir Integra
The only person who could stop Alucard was himself.
I didn't even realize this, good job
well him and the help of cat boy why boner
Hello right here killed him
Not to mention the fact that the name is a in fact a paradox - Michael, giving something of existence a name, to a thing that "Doesn't exist." It's PERFECT.
One could say The Major stopped him too.
He's a cyborg because he refused to "give up" and become a vampire. He had the opportunity to become a "true" vampire but refused to drink the blood. So, cyborg treatment. Alucard, the monster that behaves like a man. Major, the man who behaves like a monster.
I like this comment, cleared up a lot of things.
HAS ANYONE NOTICED THAT INTEGRA RECORDED THE MAJOR'S LAST WORDS FOR THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND?!?!?!
It's really hard to notice it
I don't think so
@@kaidatboy look after he dies, looks like a lighter but its a camera
I never realized that. Thank you
"When you find him, and when you kill him... I want you to record it, so I can fall asleep to it e-e-e-every night."
"Jesus fucking CHRIST, I'VE MISSED YOU!"
Integra: “Also where did you find a NAZI werewolf?”
Major: “Where did you find Dracula?”
Integra: “In a Basement”
Major: “How Poetic we found our werewolf in an attic”
Just love how they’re so nonchalant about it like it’s normal
I never understood Seras' reaction to him saying they found alot of things in attics
@@Master_E444 It's a reference to how some Jewish people hid in attics during World War Two to avoid being found by the German police
@@BM-jy2gh oh dear.....Honestly should of expected that
@@Master_E444 And then the next line "The juden were the furher's obsession, not mine. ANNE FRANKLY, I'm quite insulted by the insinuation."
This is in reference to Anne Frank, a jewish girl who was hiding away in an attic from the nazis with her family. Look up "The diary of Anne Frank".
@@TheWatisit I knew about her and the book. I initially assumed that's what they meant but didn't know the rest.
10:25 wait
WAIT WAIT WAIT, I JUST REALIZED; INTEGRA JUST CLICKED AN AUDIO RECORDER, TO RECORD THE MAYOR'S LAST WORDS, JUST LIKE THE QUEEN ASKED HER TO DO ON ABRIDGED 4, THEY EDITED THE LIGHTER INTO A RECORDER.
HOLY SHIT
OH MY GOD
I didn't realize that until I read your comment just now. Holy Shit. I just thought she was re lighting her cigar!
Hahahahaha damn bro
Holy shit she does
Ya know. I really didn't think it'd be an Anne Frank joke that would be the final nail in my coffin, but I KNOW I'm going to hell after laughing at "anne-frankly" as hard as i did.
"you found yours in the basement, I found mine in the attic like so many others"
"OI!"
"I meant valuables! the Juden was the Fuhrer's obsession!"
I don't believe in Hell, but if it exists, then we'll go down there together, brother.
@@TheWalker10 Lookin' forward to joining you both. :}
It’s gonna be a party down there 😂
I know i'm late to the party, but i'll try to bring snacks and drinks on the way down. Hey, if i'm gonna burn for eternity, I might as well have some fun with it.
Honestly, the abridged version explained the ending and the majors plan waaay better than the anime...
What was the plan in the anime?
@@silverdays2909 If I remember correctly it went a long dialogue of like his life story
@@onepieceking1770 I don't understand
@@silverdays2909 I'm trying to remember in the anime the major didnt explain how the cyborg technology came into fruition but more like he talked about his life story of how he became a cyborg himself
@@onepieceking1770 It's implied that Herr Doktor (who was a Millennium member and friends with the Major as far back as WW2) was the one who turned the Major into a cyborg after he sustained near-fatal injuries (namely being beaten and shot repeatedly) by Soviet forces at the end of the war, which is shown in the flashback you're probably referring to.
The flashback also reveals that as the psychopathic Nazi lay dying, the same dark force which offered immortality to Dracula approached him as well, causing the blood of the slain to move towards him and imploring him to drink and live forever as a powerful vampire. Unlike Alucard, however, the Major refused the offer, repelling the demonic presence through sheer force of will, determined to remain a human even if it meant his death. Luckily for him, he was rescued by the Doktor and the surviving remnants of the Last Battalion mere moments later and (presumably) made a cyborg to save his life.
This is why he insists so vehemently to Integra that despite his mechanical body, he is still a human being, as he still possesses his will and his soul (however black and twisted it may be), and it also explains why he has such hatred for Alucard in particular, as he sees the undead Count as a complete inversion of himself: A beautiful inhuman monster who is a beloved hero of humanity despite forsaking his own out of cowardice, while the Major is a vile and corpulent little man who acts as the ultimate villain and does monstrous things for savagely monstrous reasons despite being courageous and resolute enough to refuse becoming something inhuman even if it meant dying like a dog in a filthy gutter. Both characters hold humanity as a concept in high regard, placing man above even angels and gods, but the Major is a living testament to just how depraved and monstrous humans can be at our worst, first exemplified by the simple fact that he's a goddamn Nazi, probably the closest thing to "pure evil" that anyone in the human race ever became.
I could stand for an hour of out-of-context oneliners from Therapist Alucard.
That'd be a relatively small amount of the whole time
I'm pretty sure one of the voices in that therapy thing was moist critical
@@malachilyles5130 yeah, his own
You mean from the therapist Dr. Acula
@@r.s.2890 this pun is amazing
The sexual frustration this series emits can be felt by distant alien worlds.
So THAT'S why the Tyranids decided to jump from their galaxy to ours!
Be DC free gbr a scv bh
@@Sgtnolisten I showed this series to a slaneshi demon once, it died from Blue Balls
This explains the anal probings
Probably really hurts the Aeldari who have to live in constant sexual repression as it is to hold off Slaanesh.
"Ah, yameru, Walter! You're splitting me in two! Now do It another 3 million, why don'cha!?!"
that line delivery never fails to give me chills
His serious female voice is such a menace
That's actually Taka's sister
You guys had a chance to say “German Engineering is the best in the world”
Nine Worlds Gaming wow
BRRRRRRAKAMONOGA!
@@quentinbrown9300 how ironic, Stroheim also was a cyborg
"We still don't know why he was a cyborg?"?
And of course the Major perfers part 2
“LETS TAKE A CENSUS”
That line was more epic then it had any right to be
*LET ME GET SOME SIP!*
I feel the same way about “ *I CALLED HEADS* “
then what?
Alucard"LOOK AT ME WALTER... I'M SUCKING EVERYONE BUT YOU"!!!!!
The hell was that music anyway?
Major: "Now ZATS what I'm talking about! COME ON BITCH! SHOW ME WHAT YOU LOVE!"
Me: *"BITCHES! LOVE! CANNONS!"*
Said the same thing myself. Of course, I heard Alucard say "get that bitch a cannon. Bitches love cannons" before thinking of seras saying it. Lol
5:59
I said the same thing!! "Bitches love cannons!!!"
Same
She gave him 88mn of love!!!
Fun fact: when the major says "show me what you love" , the voice actor was air thrusting to get all the energy into the voice
BITCHES LOVE CANONS!
Oh that makes it so much better to know cause he REALLY got into that line lol.
So Alucard went from mostly immortal to just completely immortal.
I mean he does technically die so there’s that, but yeah, now Michael mcdoesntexist would probably need some minor diety to kill him for real.
Before he was mostly immortal, he still had a weakness because all vampires do, even dracula. But now he’s Omnipresent, everywhere at once. Kind of like Dr. Manhattan in a sense
@@andrethibodeau3203 Or just use GOD again :/
Well yes... But actually no
He can only die if he gets ordered to do or if the Hellsing family cancels the spell/contract that is binding Alucard. As long as Alucard thinks hes alive.. he is alive :D
“You’re straight ! Futa isn’t gay...
I think.” - Alucard
My favourite phrase in this episode.
@@mattmanjgigs1229 so did I, until I listened to it again
Wasnt it buddah?
@@benz2600 I definitely heard buddha, but futa makes so much more sense
The question as old as time
@@Lunar1us No. The answer is right at the door. If we can imaginary merge heterosexuality in one person it will become futa. It isn't gay, it's hermaphrodite with extra steps. hermaphrodites are not traps. It's not gay. Its SUPER HERMO. It's absolute another sexuality so it's never been gay to begin with, end of story. Let's talk about why furry should be illegal.
Ironic. Out of everyone in the series, the Major is the only person that got EXACTLY what he wanted in its entirety. He died completely satisfied.
I mean, his actions didn't lead to a major conflict. all Millennium amounted to was a footnote in the history books.
A footnote that killed millions of people in a single night in a major European nation. Basically 9/11 on steroids if you are thinking about the effects it would have had on the UK for decades to come and the effects it would have on a nations psyche even after 30 years. The NAZI vampire and Catholic attack on London would have had huge effects no matter what. In theory if NATO exists in the Hellsing universe then NATO would be obligated to declare war on the Vatican is a big one. So in theory it could have led to a major conflict and the fracturing of NATO itself if some of the majorly Catholic nations in NATO didn't respond to their obligations or refused to maybe even decided to defend the Vatican. Which could in theory lead to wars in the long run. The Major doesn't think on short time scales. So war might be avoided right away but given enough time the events might set the stage for one.
@@maiqtheliar789 yeah, but...thirty years? you really think a war would be started after that much time?
@@maiqtheliar789 Nah, if there was a NATO vs Catholic nations war, Iscariots wouldn't visit Hellsing even in 30 years. It's more likely that Hellsing and Iscariot made a pieace pact and the broader public was told that Vatican just tried to help fight nazi vampires.
And maybe Major was thinking on a long time scale, but he certainly didn't give a fuck about anything after his death. He went to defeat an ultimate enemy and die in a glorious battle, and that was it. If he wanted to sparkle another war, a real honest to God world war he should've present Millenium as an organization working for some other country.
@@sinistertwister686 But that is not what the Major wanted, he wanted Glory. Glory in his eyes and those of his compatriots. He said he wanted World War 3 but not for the sake of World War 3 but for the sake of Glory. That is my take anyway.
The fact they got Moist Critical to voice one of the souls really does it for me.
it aged SO well
@@skysthelimit780Dish?
so great
I have a headcannon that it took several years for Integra to realize that Pip is still around. Even after Pip showed himself multiple times it took a full Ted talk complete with a PowerPoint presentation from Seras and Pip for her to accept it.
Well when your new vampire bodyguard and her lover share the same body it would probably take a while for me to completely process it too 😂
@@rowanbrooks3840 doesn’t she have the king of vampires working for her?
"OH you mean his spirit is literally insi-why the fuck didn't you say that!"
@@emperorgrimlock7054 he was dead
@@emperorgrimlock7054 Yes, she does have the king of vampires working for her. However I find it hard to believe he's ever taken anyone's blood willingly. Not even sure if Seras counts. Pip however, was willing.
And thus ends 8 years of once a year videos.
Still wrapped up quicker than One Piece.
Waiting on two piece
@@xakineko boofy...
Berserk
Hunter X Hunter...
@@alivrah You win this time
"...And I'm just going to assume.. A hamster on a wheel!?!"
"His name is Hamburg.."
Even years later, and in decades yet to come.. this will still be funny as all get-out.
Can confirm.
Major doesn't miss a beat. It is rolled off the tongue as soon as she said something.
Can someone please explain the joke?
@@moonwyrmdelirium4573 I think the joke is that the Major's literally powered by a hampster on a wheel named Hamburg.
Word...
I appreciated that y’all went with the OG Hellsing ending credits song for the series. It takes true fans to make great parody, and you all show it.
Its incredible what they did with Walter's death. They remade an entire scene from scratch for the sole purpose of giving more characterization to him
I like the OG better he kinda redeemed himself by killing the Dr.
That’s the point. In this continuity, Walter doesn’t get that privilege. He betrayed his country, his friends, Integra, and Hellsing itself, all for the chance to try and kill Alucard. So, why should Walter be redeemed? Plus, it actually fits better for Heinkel to kill him for avenge Yumie.
@@prestonstanley7736 i m glad u like this one👍
@@prestonstanley7736 Yumi and Anderson. I mean Anderson was going to die anyway but Walter is the one that actually killed him and didn't even give him the dignity of finishing his last words.
@@loganrenfrow2544 Agreed. This is one of the reasons that this Abridged version is considered as a legit dub.
"Nobody ruined your childhood. The Teen titans you liked are still on DVD."
Bruh. The end credit dialouge is freaking amazing. Lol
It's funny because it's true
Why boner 3: THE RECKONING!
More like "nobody ruined your childhood, you don't like Teen Titans Go because you're not a kid anymore"
I actually have the DVDs.
"If the bullets didn't work why would the sword?" To be fair a lot of bullet proof materials aren't stab proof.
Lots of times vampires ignored bullets, but get decapitated and go down. Especially by that beast of a woman Integra.
Nothing is stab proof if you're stabbing hard enough.
You know the guy who made hellsing probably know why he's a cyborg and he did eat human food and shit so damn it's still good!😎
Its a matter of perspective really
Yeah, bulletproof glass may be bulletproof but it ain’t *shatterproof*. You can crack it just by throwing a chair at it.
"BEFORE YOU ASK! YEEEES! THIS IS A JOJO REFERENCE!"
That got me rolling on the floor XD
What exactly is the Jojo reference btw? The entire scene or just a certain part of it - a quote for example?
@@justkiddingde6506Most likey the pose...
Part 1 was the best.
@@ObsidiaBlack1 Eh, you would say that ya fucking Brit!
“WHAT DID YOU DO?”
*“I CALLED HEADS!”*
Glorious.
yeah em can you explain that to me?
@@loskompas6184 Major is basically saying that his bet on using Schrodinger to defeat Alucard, saying he picked "heads" over "tails", paid off.
@@loskompas6184 more particularly, there was a fifty-fifty percent chance the it would work. 'The coin flips' and either the cat in the paradox stops existing, taking Alucard with it (Major wins, heads) or it doesn't, and Alucard stays (Major loses, tails).
@@thatonepsycho5157 well, the major lost anyway, he only took Alucard with him
@@abandonedbucharest7704 Except is words imply that the butchery of London was all as part of a giant gambit to put Alucard in that position. Anything other than killing Alucard was a side goal to him, one that the rest of Millennium just happened to fill ("Who gives a fuck? They're Nazis!"). He lost, yes, but because Alucard came back, not because he died after he completed his objective.
We were the Real Hellsing Ultimate Abridged the whole time.
Hey handsome
"The game was rigged from the start"
It's been a Hellva series but all good things must come to an end. And one more time: BITCHES LOVES CANNONS!
Funny thing is the official series is 10 episodes long
shut up Craig!
“Am I a bad person?” *fwoops out of existence* HAD ME DEADER THAN ANDERSON-
Lol I know right?! It kills me every time!
Alucard: Well let's start with the 20,000 people I impaled.
Soul Alucard: We were pretty mad at dad that day.
You think Anderson is in alucard?
@@alexejvecera6317 Didn't he turn to dust? So most probably not
@@pppriest3206 "I know it's rich coming from me! But your powers are bullshit!"
"Ameriva-Classic" and "America-Zero"
How am I just now getting this President Walt Disney Cola Comcast joke?!
They asking where they found a werewolf or how he became a cyborg, but where the hell did they find the literal trap personification of uncertainty principle!
Finally. That is exactly what I thought. I mean they deal with vampires and ghouls on a daily basis. So why are they surprised because of an werewolf? Alexander Anderson even teased the werefolf thing when he was intimidating Integra for the first time in the Abridged back in episode 2 or so. For the Cyborg, these people were crafting an army of vampires and yet they ask how they could make one single cyborg. But bloody Schrödingers Cat is something that doesn't bother anyone
they created him, according to the doctor
@@sasir2013 Yeah, but how tho?
@@trulymrword my guess? he probably got a pregnant lady vampire with some kind of power about space or time, and set an experiment where the boy would be aborted in some cases, and not in anothers, all of them luck based, and let it unobserved for months
or something like that
@@sasir2013 and they found said pregnant lady vampire in an attic.
Sir Penwood: Can't [Alucard] fly with his vampire powers?
Integra: What? No... No, he can't fly with his vampire powers!
Seras: Don't mind me casually flying away from this incinerating blimp.
@@Mariwend Vampires can't cross running water. And the ocean counts as running water. Hence why the Major baited Alucard out to the ship in the first place and he had to sail the ship back to London. It's a neat little thing and calls back to the original Dracula novel with the Demeter (probably misspelled the name of the ship)
@@thewraithwriter22 I didn't expect to learn actual knowledge in an Abridged comment section, NEAT!!
@@Liam_Phoenix wasn't it like crazy obvious?... What any other reason he had NOT to travel back to London?
@@looniemoonie5955 I mean, I just never gave it much thought, I haven't seen any Dracula movies or TV shows besides Hellsing Ultimate (doesn't really count technically, but whatever) so I just thought it was basically plot convenience *shrug*
_Technically_ Seras didn't _fly_ she blood-tentacle grappled across the girders that line the inside of the blimp at a speed that the animators didn't care to draw
"She's lying! She was studying cybernetics!"
"I can do both!"
"Cybernetics? why?"
"Because the Major was a cyborg"
"Wowowow why was he a cyborg"
"RIGHT?!"
"That's just fucking stupid!"
Their relationship is perfect😂😂
While Seras was in denial about loving being a vampire, Integra was in denial about being in love with Alucard. May the Count and Countess live forever.
@@samsonguy10k I absolutely adore how.. well.. more eccentric Seras becomes now as a full fledged vampire, its adorable, she does similar self-descriptions of herself as alucard. Ah.. the daughter grew up to be like her father!
21:18
So what was the canonical reason he was a Cyborg?
@@SpectreRyder Only a man can defeat a monster. The major had made it his goal to defeat Dracula. As he said himself, adding extra machine parts is arguably no different than adding a pacemaker. He considered himself human to the end
Considering Anderson still apparently counted despite being stuffed full of nanobots with hyperegen... probably checks out I'd say
“Then my last meal shall be victory” SOLID
Cue Seras Victoria
For the record, he's a cyborg because he didn't want to get old and refused to become a vampire (He had the option) so he could remain a human when he killed Alucard
FINALLY AN ANSWER AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
Good to know his definition of human is... loose at best.
@@vsGoliath96 Humans outclassed animals thanks to their technology, in a way being a cyborg is the most human thing you can do :P
@@NoOne-zd6zb The Cybermen from Mondas would like to have a word with you XD
However he gave up his full humanity for that goal.
YO, SHE ACTUALLY RECORDED IT LIKE THE QUEEN TOLD HER TO.
I love how everything comes full circle
Ohhhhhh I was wondering what that was.
I had assumed it was a detonator because of the fire right after but that makes much more sense.
Hope the Queen isn't a Sound of Music fan.
“Am I a bad person?” I was not prepared for them to just rip out my heart like that
?
“Let’s start with the 20000 people we impaled”
It's Dracula asking, "Are WE a bad person?" That really brings to the surface what it is about Alucard. I feel there was a point when Dracula did hit a point in his murdering rampage that a fun-loving voice inside him asked just that. And it stopped Dracula. And then Alucard took the wheel with self-imposed limits that somehow Abraham Hellsing had figured out and used to capture him. Abraham spared Alucard because he was Dracula actually trying to find his humanity again.
That's what actually scared Integra when she saw Alucard sucking up all of London. She wasn't afraid for London. It was already dead thanks to both the Major and Maxwell. It was Alucard giving in and becoming Vlad Dracula the Impaler again. Turns out, the Major's plan to remove Alucard from the board with Schrodinger actually turned out to be Alucard's salvation. Hmph, who knew?
@@samsonguy10k bro, I just love it whenever I find commenters who put every part of the information together like this, it's awesome
I remember I had a dream a month or so after I saw this for the first time where I was in my living room and someone was sitting on the couch across from me. I couldn’t make out what they looked like but all they said was “are we a bad person” and it woke me up. Took me a week to figure out it was related to this
Im surprised no one has really mentioned that Seras was cat-calling Heinkel at 12:52. I find that gesture both funny and oddly wholesome in the whole "Like Father, like Child" sense.
They probably carried on Anderson and Alucards’ rivalry for the past 30 years.
Moistcritical being one of the spirits was really funny
I had to do a double take when I heard his voice.
time stamp?
@@BobbyJohnPhil 16:40 ish
@@dylanlunney7129 Is this part of the Moistcritical cinematic universe now?
Holy shit, how am i just now learning this?!? I totally hear it now too! 3rd soul. Lol
"Nobody ruined your childhood. The teen titans you liked is still on DVD." That killed me XD
On a serious note for people saying that Teen Titans Go ruined their childhood I feel like that they would have a pretty shitty childhood to say shit like that. Its annoying.
But yeah that was pretty funny.
Apparently, Alucard has never met Zone-tan.
They'd get on like a house on fire, considering the latter's deference toward tentacles.
It's true, though. If more people realized that, then Teen Titans Go wouldn't be so hated (or it would only be hayed because Cartoon Network keeps endlessly rerunning it, though now they're mixing it in with Total Dramarama, The Amazing World of Gumball [only because that show is ending and they need viewers to catch it before it gets shipped off to Boomerang, like what happened to Adventure Time and Regular Show], and the myriad of cartoons made by CalArts graduates).
@@canaisyoung3601 I mean, it still would, because it's a trash show, and the reason people think so is because it essentially goes "remember that show you loved? well let's take that but if it was made by a ten year old". Sure, people can still watch the original, and the existence of the new show doesn't ruin childhoods, but it's still an awful show that specifically says "fuck you" to the fans of the old one.
I wouldn’t hate Teen Titans Go so much if Cartoon Network would stop shilling it out so much!
(That said, Alucard’s advice *was* nice to hear...)
This show started with a joke about One Piece. All these years later, it ended with a joke about One Piece. Thanks for eight years of memories, TFS
and unironically one piece is still ongoing
more a stab at boruto. still funny though
So, who likes the joke about Futanari? I do. Same to Teen titans.
I will be back in 30 years to see if One Piece has finally ended.
@@gentblue By then Buffy haven't even faced the first boss of the arc.
8:42 a monologue with such quality writing and voice acting that you'd never expect it to come from an abridged version. Side note, One Piece sequel with Buffy the Vampire Slayer is something I would definitely give a try.
Seriously!!! I dont see anyone talking about it and it upsets me so much😭
As a side note: two piece exists as a short story written by the Mangaka responsible for One Piece and Naruto. Luffy gets a Glock, antics ensue
“No one isn’t kind of an asshole in their early 20’s and if they weren’t they were probably sociopaths”
You're a sociopath!
you-
*intense silence*
*silence*
Are WE a bad person?
*silent*
Well let's start with the 20,000 people we impaled
We were pretty mad at them that day...
A: And I spent the last 10 years on that
@@stillhere6628 Couldn’t you just kill them all?
"Nobody ruined your childhood. The Teen Titans you liked is STILL on DVD."
the edited this out ....
Rob Key no watch post credits
My high school yearbook quote
But CN is very persistent in trying to make me forget and make me remember at the same time with GO
@@feritperliare2890 No excuses.
swear to god the whole "the proverbial coin flips... I called heads" line was too much of a fucking solid quote to be ignored.
5:59
Even better when you consider in Ep 5, the Major says "I do not gamble with maybes"
@@thompsonel-melloi9270 he knew 50/50 was the best chance. Which is scarier in a way.
Well that's kind of the thing. The Major was always gonna win. Millennium wanted a glorious death, it was either victory or a glorious death.
Quite ingenious
14:25 love that “mom that’s hurt”😂
She actually said "Ma'am" the joke is that her accent is making it sound like she's saying "mum"
I love how Alucard has really serious self-loathing issues and almost every episode he gets a little serious mentioning it.
Exactly why he took such exception with Anderson becoming a "monster of God" in both this and the original. He swore he'd never allow another monster such as himself to exist in the world and was disgusted that Anderson would toss away his humanity just to kill him. Same with Walter.
i can so relate to that anyone as self aware as alucard would get a bit self loathing for a vampire hes very human
I think that was when Dracula became Alucard. Dracula hit a point in his rampage where he saw the monster, only it was the monster in the mirror(Weird for a vampire, I know). And a fun-loving voice inside him said, "It's about time we dealt with all the monsters." And Alucard was born.
See, that's the kinship Alucard and Alexander had. They were born from murder and rampage, but found fun in it in a way of dealing with the pain of knowing they are monsters themselves.
"I like killing things because it's fun." - Alexander Anderson.
And Alucard found fun in depriving all of his foes of any satisfaction in their attempts to destroy him. You see it when he is being confronted by Luke Valentine and Walter. Not really so much with Alexander, though. He teased Alexander now and then about the Catholic child abuse cliche, but that was it.
“Why Boner 3 - The Rrrrrreckoningggggggg!”
I absolute lost it
Alucard is Why Boner 2: No Regrets
@@federalcasemaker no Alucard was the first, Schrödinger was "Return of the Why Boner; With a vengeance"
@@Cutie_Amor yeah but it would've been a funny title. Wait technically he's the third why boner since he came back into a girl again
I dont get the joke like "The return of the why boner, with a vengeance" what does it mean
same! XD
When you realize she recorded the majors last moments for the queen.
You lost me. What am I missing?
@@markstoudt7769 the Queen said to Alucard and Intergra to record it so she could fall asleep to it every night
@@matthewmctague4135 And you know she's still listening to it 30 years later. Because Elizabeth is immortal.
@@arutka2000 True
@@arutka2000 I mean the Anime takes place in the 90s
Its funny how the voice actors nail the accent but their actual french and german is incomprehensible
J'ai compris 9/10 du français de Pip.
@@alexandremuise8889 pareil, en tout y'a deux phrases qui sont incompréhensibles imo
"Are we a bad person?"
Did *not* expect this show to grab at my heart there I gotta say.
Bravo.
"we were pretty mad at dad that day"
Oh, this show grabbed it alright, then it squeezed it like a S T R E S S BALL.
@@gojuraisforever9574 Like Alucard squeezed Andersons heart?
@@TheThatoneguy12121 DANN STRAIGHT
5:59 -6:01!
Did I just binge the entire Hellsing Abridged series in one dull Sunday afternoon?
Yup.
Time well spent
Nice, it was Saturday for me.
@@luciesedlackova3571 yo it was sunday for me
Yup, just did XD.
Also Sunday for me
30 Years Later:
"So, has One Piece wrapped up finally?"
I died at that line.
You'd be surprised how long they can stretch 3 seconds of plot and 7 seconds of filler
we all going be dead by the time one piece ends
It will just never end
Funny considering Helsing abridged episode 1 was announced as One Piece abridged as a joke. That's why Luffy appears in episode 1.
[Spoiler]
Nope. Not over yet, Alucard. And Luffy's a Mythical Zoan-type, by the way, of a literal god. And Sabo wasn't dead, he ate Ace's Devil Fruit, but now Sabo's maybe dead.
Enjoy, you fuck-mothering vampire.
Considering that Alucard spent 20 years (10,512,000 minutes) doing therapy for 3,424,866 people (excluding himself), that means he spent 10,512,000 / 3,424,866 = 3 minutes 4 second per person. Apparently Alucard is a really efficient therapist. Also want to add that this means Alucard's therapy takes 1,712,433 times longer than the average person.
they did the math
considering all the shit he went through as Prince Vlad Tepes of Walachia and all the killings he's done, both as a mortal and after become King Of All Vampires; I'd say he definitely needed the massive therapy.
"Anne Frankly I am insulted by the insinuation"
OOF
I did NOT catch that until just now, and now I'm DYING.
I don't get it
El Macho gamer Anne Frank, attic joke.
I noticed that too
OOOOh, I did not catch that the first time.
Oh Wow. The Major really did have a plan around the plan around their plan.
I read that in ze major’s voice
They planned around the plan that they are planning around their plan.
Dammit! All Hellsing had to do was just plan around the plan he planned around the plan they were planning around his plan!
@@justpassingthrough686 what if they would have planned not to plan around there plan but planned by accident around there plan and suddenly they have to work by the plan?
@grunedrachenweide6965 yesn't
_Am I a bad person?_
*_Disappears from existence_*
This completely got me. Like, after everything, just before going poof being like "Wait... am I the bad guy?"
do any of you guys know what the song that plays before he Alucard said am i a bad person?
If you have to ask, the answer's probably yes.
And if you don't, the answer's definitely yes.
Am I the bad guy? Now how’d that happen?
@@brianacosta421 Avalon by David Flavin according to a music identification software. I couldn't find the actual song anywhere though.
4:45 love that the major did all of it for a 50% chance at pulling off a paradox
Therapist Alucard:
"life is for living".
Guy with depression:
"do you think it would help if I go for a walk?"
(Alucards pupil dilates)
I need to go for a walk 🤔
*ABSOLUTELY*
I read this as life is for the living. At first And my pupils dilated because I was like a markiplier reference annnnnnnnnd alucard that's amazing
A need a very enthusiastic walk... might decide on homicide rather than suicide.
More like Alucard's boner rises
Press F for Hamburg, he span the wheel until his very last breath. A true hero in this story of bleak shade of grey, a shining example of bravery and duty in the face of certain death. Rest in Pieces Hamburg, you will be missed.
MagicBiber f
f
MagicBiber F
(F) lol
F F F F F
"You DO kinda look like a genderbent Walter.
WHY BONER 3: THE RECKONING!!!"
I was about to ask about the second one, but what was the first one?
THE WRECKONING*
I LOVE THAT MOVIE! XD
Make that a movie
Legit lost it there.
I'm dying thinking as alucard becoming a therapist to escape himself
I’m gonna miss these infinitely quotable lines from this series
How if you quote them infinitely?
Deity Saturn they will be carved into the internet forever
Da Canadian man till someone eventually copyright claims this
TheGameMage and knowing RUclips in about 10 more minutes
Ehhh it's a matter of preference really
I do like how they ran with the Mom, Dad, Kid joke
I agree
Me too! ☺️
801st like broke your perfect 800
Tags on Pornhub
What exactly did Seras do to get shipped off to other countries before?
"It's every Monday with you!"
"I CALLED HEADS!" the greatest victory quote by a villain. The Major is such a mad lad. I love him.
Well, chaotic evil villains that have fun with their deeds will always be compelling characters.
They have fun with pain and destruction and may even laugh when being stopped by the heroes.
They may not care about the long run. Sometimes... they just want to cause an impression.
"Then my last meal shall be VICTORY" is just as good
@@Destroyer2150 The Major is one of the living (well, dead now) embodiments of the phrase "Some people just want to watch the world burn."
@@TheMagickHat77 I vant a simple var.
Still here and I still think this is the best hellsing version out there good job guys
Not quite as this is Ultimate not Hellsing. They are slightly different things. Both are brilliant, and this is the most giggle worthy parody of Hellsing Ultimate I have seen.
After 8 years... It's done, Haven't felt this way in awhile.
Now looking back, the cast had some big names, or BECAME big names during it's run, what a accomplishment this was!
man i remember randomly finding episode 1 and then a year later i saw episode 2 and i was like oh yeah this shit is awesome. now 8 years later, here we are, and a im so happy ty TFS! and shout out to Taka101!
yeah, its kinda sad and weard knowing thats it
On my birthday sad to see it go damn
It's sad to see it end but it was a brilliant series happy holidays
Excuse you, but they are fuckmothering Team Fourstar, they edited ALOT of people to get that title, they’d prolly like to be called such xD
" You're straight! Futa isn't gay! ... I think. "
Shit I thought he said "Buddha!" I was hella confused for months
L-O-K-O came back on a whim to watch this, I thought he said buddha this whole time, and was just talking to some new-age level weirdo or something.
@@jaredsmith1998 I think he did say Buddha
No wait captions say futa, huh neat, makes more sense
Who is Futa?
Don't be sad because it's over.
Be happy because it happened.
Thank you TeamFourStar.
American Dad reference
Yep
You can always go back and take another walk
Or both
I just hear DBZA Cell giving genuine advice at the end to all the people he drank and it's head cannon for me now
“Ann Frankly I’m insulted by the-“
When I realized he made a joke about Ann frank, I lost my mind XD
Peridot The Wise notice Alucard made a Cell reference near the start
because its so small you cant find it?
shunkaha 2:55
I believe the major's line of "How poetic, we found ours in an attic. But we find lot's of things in attics." was also another stab at Ann Frank.
Cody Peterson I didn’t notice, guess I’ll rewatch it
I love the Old-Integra/Seras mother-daughter dynamic. Mom's pissed that dad left for cigarettes for 30 years.
Montesama314 he went for a walk
@@Tokkoking A really long walk.
@@Tokkoking and got a bit lost
@@curtismcpsycho8212 A really long enthusiastic walk
Yeah, and Integra technically is just 3 years older than Seras.
i love that they're using Seras' accent saying ma'am to sound like mom when talking about alucards disappearance
I'm pretty sure she's just straight up saying "mom," given the earlier comments by Alucard when Seras and Integra were boarding the zeppelin.
It was definitely her straight up saying ''mom''
@@TBKLumine Nah that's actually how posh people pronounce "ma'am". Which is a bit odd since she's a mockney, but ih, it works. And for those scenes specifically it could be both.
@@TBKLumine can also concur it's her saying "ma'am".
If you watch the Daniel Craig bond movies, everyone responds to M (Judy Dench M) as "yes ma'am" and it also sounds like "yes mum" - it's just how English people pronounce ma'am.
My whole thing is isnt integra 22? So being that Seris is the "police girl," I would think she's at least 18. So jump 30 years they're 53 and 49. So mom? Ya know
Nick did an excellent job singing Shine. I had no idea he was that good of a singer!