I distinctly remember Richard discussing "unsolicited advice" being an unconscious attempt by "codependents" t to address other people's Dharma. He explained that by doing so we/I were actually harming, not helping the person. It was eye opening for me , as a chronic "problem solver" to realize that it was a compulsion that I hadn't realized I had. He said that there was actually hidden benefit for the advice GIVER ( making them feel less uncomfortable or out of control sitting in someone's else's distress ) VS actually making things better for the other person. That really bothered me because I realized that not letting people solve their own problems robs them of the confidence they would have gained by solving the problem themselves. Whenever Im in a situation now where people are "venting" about situations in their live, I try very hard to make a conscious effort to ask people- Are you asking for my input & advice OR just need me to listen. The paradoxical effect has been my family of origin now accuses me of not caring about their problems because I no longer rush in to save them. The irony isn't lost on me.
I'm so very happy because I found Jesus! I've been doing all the stuff you talk about for more than fourty years but I was never at peace. Now I am! 😊😊😊❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏
From 50:33 it really hit home what he is and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. And what our relationship was is not my fault - except that I stayed far too long, which is my responsibility... Radical acceptance begins. Thank you RG!
Yes the news and papers...i don't eat while watching or reading something that's gonna make me angry or sad- specially breakfast bc that's what starts your day and you're basically telling/programing your body this is what I live for this is my fuel.
lol. My son has 2 completely different ears. It’s quite fascinating to compare them and see the differences. On to the main reason of my commentary….. Thank you for your videos. I’m in the midst of a divorce after 40 years of marriage to a covert narcissist. You’ve helped me get my life back in order. I’m dealing with some pretty significant PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I needed this kick in keister to face my unhealthy weight issues/relationship with food. I used to be a fit person who enjoyed life. I want and need that back.
Loved the Slavoj Zizek impression lol Also with the point on roleplaying. It's as Robert Greene says we are all actors for a living, we put on the fake smiles through politeness not because it's how we actually feel.
Oh yes, dancing is the best way to move your body mind and soul!! I love to hustle, two step, West Coast, as well as what is called ecstatic Dance. Where you just move your body to the music however you see fit.
Thanks Richard, I really needed to hear this today. I feel like I have lessened the influence of the introject from the NPD person I left a few months ago. However, now he is showing up in my dreams. Very annoying! Also ironically, ‘The Diceman’ books were the ones my ex often recommended I read 😵💫
1:06:36 The Archons. I understand completely-you do very good work Mr Grannon within your capabilities and regulations by social media. Amazing how the zodiac has 12 signs…and I am a Sagittarius born on 12/12 ♐️. Welcome to my season 🙏🏼(And I checked my “junk” too, this email never came-The Archons).
20:49 This is the Golden Question. The best way I can describe it in simple terms….you are going to “unlock” it. You have the 🔑 key, but it is covered in toxic waste-clean that key off. Get ready for real terms-You really need to start thinking about your entire life and every person you interacted with. You now have the experience, and you now have the knowledge. A lightbulb will go off, you will have an “A-Ha” moment, and everything will be become clear as crystal I promise you.
17:01 This is beautiful ✌🏽I AM ON YOUR EMAIL LIST YOUR GASSSSSSSLIGHTAHHH! 😘 Now I can set a reminder in my phone-2 days in advance for this broadcast for 11/26 at 12:00PM EST (5:00PM GMT). Thank you Mister Grannon 💜
Correct. There's tons more stuff going on in the world that's really good and positive, yet the media don't tell us about. It's all about control. Thanks Richard dude.
I am so scared for myself and my son and what is about to happen. I caught his dad on recording telling our 4 month old he was going to beat my face off. We are trying to leave this town. His dad convinced me to move here with him, quit my job, leave my rental, have a baby, he would support us, and now I'm stuck in a bad predicament where I have no income, and unfortunately, we need a court order to leave, and money. I've been watching your videos for a few months now. I've also been going to therapy for 6+ months to deal with his personality. I believe he has more going on than narcissism, and needs help. He's kicking us out of the home without support. My family is across the country. I'm so stuck. I know we need to go, and I'm working towards that, but he's threatening me with not signing for us to leave this town. He is so abusive. He rages when questioned, is passive aggressive constantly, talks down to me consistently, bullies me, pushes me with his chest, throws stuff at me, breaks my things, and then reminds me constantly about how I have nothing, and am nothing. He throws my personal things, I have shared with him, in my face. Now he's using our son as a pawn, screams in front of him, doesn't care if he's in my arms when he pushes me, doesn't know how to diffuse himself when triggered. This man has the emotional availability of a turnip. I wish we had help. I wish we could just leave. I wish this was all over so we could move on and start a healthy, stable, happy life back in the city. 🙏 I appreciate your videos so much. Thank you.
Why can’t we feel the neurotic compassion for ourselves like we can for others? We get into ‘self care’ management and totally forget the metaphysicians we are- But then there’s that pesky human psyche~ So how to embody true self compassion- for me it’s been a lifelong consideration As it was over 20 years ago I was in Tibet The timelines have sped up so much At least mine have and I feel like I can’t keep up! So I Praying in the ways I do And I check what actionable integrity means to me, but I digress~ There’s so much to the beginning of this video- And I sit here writing from my own self analysis Amidst life annihilation That happened before HELENE And I’m in beautiful ANNIHILATED Appalachia with some wolfdogs and it’s all so layered on a micro and microcosm. What is life without meaning and purpose, but this hyper empathy that we can’t seem to show ourselves, how, what are those tools, where is that block? Also I studied wing chun (not that you even the read the comments and I don’t normally write many 😂) My own insanity has led me here she laugh maniacally~
You can't fix advice giving. You can look at the fruit in someones life before you take their advice. If they are good in certain areas you might take that advice in that area. I think not giving advice unless a person asks for it... helps.
I’ve taken the word “should” out of my vocabulary because it doesn’t accept other people’s sovereignty, and it is a disempowering word to say to myself rather than saying “I am”.
Shit hurt myself Rich I saw interview w u on verge tears recalling u experience w that Jezabelle...7 or so months out away from Narc female ex ...long distance last 3 of 4.5 yrs 2 months no contact 7.5 months since seen still ruminating trying hard tough lonely in Vermont USA singer songwriter multi instrumentalist ty for u cotent just gotta battle overthinking...and like u said cant be sincere w the terminally insincere.
"Her eyes they shone like diamonds, you'd think she was Queen of the land..." For me, it was " His eyes they shone like diamonds, you'd think he was King of the land.." Are you sending subliminal warning messages to all the lads (& lasses) out here, Richard? 😉🤣
I was just telling my best friend earlier today how I hope I meet a man that can take me dancing. 💃🏻 NICE! That’s awesome and keep it up! 🕺Get down baby!!!
50:02 Please understand the term “Self Aware Narcissist”. This is where you have to have a sharp mind. The “Self Awareness” provides a benefit: 1. Popularity on social media. 2. Selling branded merchandise. 3. Income from support groups, classes and workshops. No matter what self-aware narcissist you listen to, they all say the same thing. All narcissists lie. ✌🏽💯
Question: Why would one go to a therapist to tell them something to manipulate their thinking? 13:45 Why would one go to therapy with that intent? Is the brainstorming of ideas now polarized to that degree? The internet lures the need for being seen and heard. No, that is not healthy. I have seen that a lot and experienced it myself. It is like a drug.
Ok. "to manipulate the therapist" were your words. I am not assuming, just wondering if people do that. I do not know. I was asking not assuming intent. I wanted feedback on the intent you described.
@@RICHARDGRANNON I don't want to control my therapist. That was a different view I don't get the angle of someone who would want to do that. A therapist should take input and so should the client. It does not seem to work right if you try to over manipulate...maybe...I don't know. Just asking.
Richard, I have a question about a narcissist situation I am currently dealing with, my mother n law is the narcissist. I am married to her only child/son for 24 years now. He is an enabler along with her 2 sisters. It’s impossible for me to not ever see her again. However I am expected to “let it go for the peace of the family” how can I do that? She continues her toxic behavior.
…”unless you paid him 14 million dollars” 👀😂..I grew up boxing, amongst other things.. am I the only one who found that fight a bit off?🤔..Don’t be a Jake guys.. moral of the story..
1:06:20 Every time you say my screen name incorrectly - you owe me $5 bucks. I think you owe me $15 total to date. I only accept cash. Sorry. Not sorry.
👏👏👏🤍💙❤👑🕊 claping 4 1. part OF video... but why you are confusing folks with acting a role OF narccicist 😄? Good role playing but no wonder some people see you as one. As I've heard OF from other OF l.c and therapists; we can say you are too self aware and too good OF a human to be narccisist 😄. Relax, you are Good. God bless
If God gave you wonky ears, it is for a perfect reason. Probably your divinely inspired humor. With two ears and one mouth the message for creation seems to be to listen twice as much as you talk. Wake up to your design man.
31:00 Simple answer. Are you having a flashback while speaking with a friend and having a “One Time Cry” about someone from high school that smacked you in the face that you never thought about until you were telling your story?” (Emotional). Or…are you having daily recurring flashbacks affecting your life because this person from high school smacked you in the face?? (PTSD). Another example - ☠️🪦. People pass. It is up to us to heal from the grief and not allow the PTSD of their ☠️🪦 to take over our lives. We are intitled to be emotional. I promise, you can heal and become the happy person you always wanted to be…and PTSD can be healed just like a person’s ☠️🪦-just like getting smacked in the face in high school ❤
I distinctly remember Richard discussing "unsolicited advice" being an unconscious attempt by "codependents" t to address other people's Dharma. He explained that by doing so we/I were actually harming, not helping the person. It was eye opening for me , as a chronic "problem solver" to realize that it was a compulsion that I hadn't realized I had. He said that there was actually hidden benefit for the advice GIVER ( making them feel less uncomfortable or out of control sitting in someone's else's distress ) VS actually making things better for the other person. That really bothered me because I realized that not letting people solve their own problems robs them of the confidence they would have gained by solving the problem themselves.
Whenever Im in a situation now where people are "venting" about situations in their live, I try very hard to make a conscious effort to ask people- Are you asking for my input & advice OR just need me to listen.
The paradoxical effect has been my family of origin now accuses me of not caring about their problems because I no longer rush in to save them. The irony isn't lost on me.
That is spot on. We are in the same boat. I am the bad guy for not playing their game anymore.
I'm so very happy because I found Jesus! I've been doing all the stuff you talk about for more than fourty years but I was never at peace.
Now I am! 😊😊😊❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏
From 50:33 it really hit home what he is and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. And what our relationship was is not my fault - except that I stayed far too long, which is my responsibility... Radical acceptance begins. Thank you RG!
Years wasted being my friends therapist, I was so codependant.Actually my whole 20s were like that. I am wiser now, it takes time, sometimes years. ❤
Sadly, I never managed to get past the Emotional Flashback part. Thank you and i appreciate all you offer.
“My ear holes are not symmetrical” an elite start to a video!
“Clean up your damn room!” 😅❤️ R.G. Love that!!
Yes the news and papers...i don't eat while watching or reading something that's gonna make me angry or sad- specially breakfast bc that's what starts your day and you're basically telling/programing your body this is what I live for this is my fuel.
lol. My son has 2 completely different ears. It’s quite fascinating to compare them and see the differences.
On to the main reason of my commentary…..
Thank you for your videos. I’m in the midst of a divorce after 40 years of marriage to a covert narcissist.
You’ve helped me get my life back in order.
I’m dealing with some pretty significant PTSD, depression, and anxiety.
I needed this kick in keister to face my unhealthy weight issues/relationship with food.
I used to be a fit person who enjoyed life. I want and need that back.
❤ I’m wishing you strength and happiness in your recovery from narcissistic abuse. Don’t forget, You are amazing ❤
🤣🤣🤣 Ur Jordan Peterson impression has drastically improved over the last few years. Bravo 😂
Loved the Slavoj Zizek impression lol Also with the point on roleplaying. It's as Robert Greene says we are all actors for a living, we put on the fake smiles through politeness not because it's how we actually feel.
Oh yes, dancing is the best way to move your body mind and soul!! I love to hustle, two step, West Coast, as well as what is called ecstatic Dance. Where you just move your body to the music however you see fit.
'wrong is wrong' ...think that will be my new mantra
Very helpful and thought provoking, thank you
Thanks Richard, I really needed to hear this today. I feel like I have lessened the influence of the introject from the NPD person I left a few months ago. However, now he is showing up in my dreams. Very annoying! Also ironically, ‘The Diceman’ books were the ones my ex often recommended I read 😵💫
1:06:36 The Archons. I understand completely-you do very good work Mr Grannon within your capabilities and regulations by social media. Amazing how the zodiac has 12 signs…and I am a Sagittarius born on 12/12 ♐️. Welcome to my season 🙏🏼(And I checked my “junk” too, this email never came-The Archons).
I love laughing with you!!! Thank u!!
😂😂😂thx for giving me a laugh. I love your humour 😊❤
Yes how wonderful!! On the same page here!!
20:49 This is the Golden Question. The best way I can describe it in simple terms….you are going to “unlock” it. You have the 🔑 key, but it is covered in toxic waste-clean that key off. Get ready for real terms-You really need to start thinking about your entire life and every person you interacted with. You now have the experience, and you now have the knowledge.
A lightbulb will go off, you will have an “A-Ha” moment, and everything will be become clear as crystal I promise you.
Best opening line ever!!! My ear holes are noncem3tricl3.
55:25 that was spot on thanks for your videos as always and thanks for all of your help and your advice
17:01 This is beautiful ✌🏽I AM ON YOUR EMAIL LIST YOUR GASSSSSSSLIGHTAHHH! 😘 Now I can set a reminder in my phone-2 days in advance for this broadcast for 11/26 at 12:00PM EST (5:00PM GMT). Thank you Mister Grannon 💜
A lovely singing voice Richard 🤓💕🙏🏻
Correct.
There's tons more stuff going on in the world that's really good and positive, yet the media don't tell us about.
It's all about control.
Thanks Richard dude.
I am so scared for myself and my son and what is about to happen. I caught his dad on recording telling our 4 month old he was going to beat my face off. We are trying to leave this town. His dad convinced me to move here with him, quit my job, leave my rental, have a baby, he would support us, and now I'm stuck in a bad predicament where I have no income, and unfortunately, we need a court order to leave, and money. I've been watching your videos for a few months now. I've also been going to therapy for 6+ months to deal with his personality. I believe he has more going on than narcissism, and needs help. He's kicking us out of the home without support. My family is across the country. I'm so stuck. I know we need to go, and I'm working towards that, but he's threatening me with not signing for us to leave this town. He is so abusive. He rages when questioned, is passive aggressive constantly, talks down to me consistently, bullies me, pushes me with his chest, throws stuff at me, breaks my things, and then reminds me constantly about how I have nothing, and am nothing. He throws my personal things, I have shared with him, in my face. Now he's using our son as a pawn, screams in front of him, doesn't care if he's in my arms when he pushes me, doesn't know how to diffuse himself when triggered.
This man has the emotional availability of a turnip.
I wish we had help. I wish we could just leave. I wish this was all over so we could move on and start a healthy, stable, happy life back in the city. 🙏
I appreciate your videos so much. Thank you.
“If my ex ate a cheese toasty…😂😂😂(spit out my tea, on that one, Richard Grannon.)
I could Not Stop laughing about the Headphones! Then i googled wonky ears.... I pissed myself...❤😂❤😂❤😂😂😂😂
I have to use the earphones with the ear hook. They fall out of mine too. lol
You crack me up you're so funny... 😅
Can’t resist Richard’s woo woo jazz hands thumbnail, pulls you right in 😁
Oh Richard -you’re cracking me up😂😂😂😂
Why can’t we feel the neurotic compassion for ourselves like we can for others?
We get into ‘self care’ management and totally forget the metaphysicians we are-
But then there’s that pesky human psyche~
So how to embody true self compassion- for me it’s been a lifelong consideration
As it was over 20 years ago I was in Tibet
The timelines have sped up so much
At least mine have and I feel like I can’t keep up!
So I Praying in the ways I do
And I check what actionable integrity means to me, but I digress~
There’s so much to the beginning of this video-
And I sit here writing from my own self analysis
Amidst life annihilation
That happened before HELENE
And I’m in beautiful ANNIHILATED Appalachia with some wolfdogs and it’s all so layered on a micro and microcosm.
What is life without meaning and purpose, but this hyper empathy that we can’t seem to show ourselves, how, what are those tools, where is that block? Also I studied wing chun (not that you even the read the comments and I don’t normally write many 😂)
My own insanity has led me here she laugh maniacally~
15:24 let your inner Jordan come to life ❤
Imperfectly perfect. I think Halle Berry is one of the few people who is symmetrical
Charlize theron and Angelina Jolie as well.
I swear there are times when you vibe like my spirit guide, mostly when singing in Spanish. 🤷♀️
Oh, and the compassion thing is 🎯😘👌🏻 mui bueno.
24:17 This is the way martial arts especially Shadowboxing is trained in New York City…. from the slums of Shaolin 💯✌🏽🗽
Wu Tang Forever
@ Very good Mr. Grannon. I’m still watching. Apologies for the fragmented comments (my phone keeps going off today).
"President's are temporary wu-tang is forever"
@RICHARDGRANNON "president's are temporary Wu-tang is forever".
@@MargauxGuyenne1127 Wu-Tang is for the children. They are our future 🗽🌹🙏🏼
God a mighty within 20sec seconds 😂 im dying hahahah
I love that bit about bringing our energy back, minus the creepy tentacles lol. I've tattooed 'shirk' on my forehead. That helps :)
You can't fix advice giving. You can look at the fruit in someones life before you take their advice. If they are good in certain areas you might take that advice in that area. I think not giving advice unless a person asks for it... helps.
Recommended shows for classic NPD (also great shows) are Succession and The White Lotus...
I’ve taken the word “should” out of my vocabulary because it doesn’t accept other people’s sovereignty, and it is a disempowering word to say to myself rather than saying “I am”.
Shit hurt myself Rich I saw interview w u on verge tears recalling u experience w that Jezabelle...7 or so months out away from Narc female ex ...long distance last 3 of 4.5 yrs 2 months no contact 7.5 months since seen still ruminating trying hard tough lonely in Vermont USA singer songwriter multi instrumentalist ty for u cotent just gotta battle overthinking...and like u said cant be sincere w the terminally insincere.
47:10 I will find my Ayahuasca travel buddy one day. On my bucket list ✌🏽
"Snugs" ear plugs/ buds custom made so comfortable check em out
"Her eyes they shone like diamonds, you'd think she was Queen of the land..."
For me, it was " His eyes they shone like diamonds, you'd think he was King of the land.."
Are you sending subliminal warning messages to all the lads (& lasses) out here, Richard? 😉🤣
It wasn't hard for me to go no contact. And to not ruminate, for that matter.
I was just telling my best friend earlier today how I hope I meet a man that can take me dancing. 💃🏻 NICE! That’s awesome and keep it up! 🕺Get down baby!!!
I missed you singing Spanish??? Now I’m super pissed. Your video just ended, I expect your email to come very shortly within the next hour. 🤪
😅 Richard and his socks 😂😂😂
Love that song! Narcos 😅
50:02 Please understand the term “Self Aware Narcissist”. This is where you have to have a sharp mind. The “Self Awareness” provides a benefit:
1. Popularity on social media.
2. Selling branded merchandise.
3. Income from support groups, classes and workshops.
No matter what self-aware narcissist you listen to, they all say the same thing. All narcissists lie. ✌🏽💯
Question: Why would one go to a therapist to tell them something to manipulate their thinking? 13:45 Why would one go to therapy with that intent? Is the brainstorming of ideas now polarized to that degree? The internet lures the need for being seen and heard. No, that is not healthy. I have seen that a lot and experienced it myself. It is like a drug.
Narcissists do it all the time
Psychiatrists have been reporting this since the 50’s, I don’t assume any malicious intent typically, it’s just what folks do
Ok. "to manipulate the therapist" were your words. I am not assuming, just wondering if people do that. I do not know. I was asking not assuming intent. I wanted feedback on the intent you described.
@@RICHARDGRANNON I don't want to control my therapist. That was a different view I don't get the angle of someone who would want to do that. A therapist should take input and so should the client. It does not seem to work right if you try to over manipulate...maybe...I don't know. Just asking.
Some people feel “friendship/ shared survivorship” through your video space. Any “advice” could be from caring concern rather than a “one up” place.
Richard, I have a question about a narcissist situation I am currently dealing with, my mother n law is the narcissist. I am married to her only child/son for 24 years now. He is an enabler along with her 2 sisters. It’s impossible for me to not ever see her again. However I am expected to “let it go for the peace of the family” how can I do that? She continues her toxic behavior.
…”unless you paid him 14 million dollars” 👀😂..I grew up boxing, amongst other things.. am I the only one who found that fight a bit off?🤔..Don’t be a Jake guys.. moral of the story..
What ways are the best to self validate?
Everyone is a Narcisusst unit proven otherwise XD
Um… what about your impulse to help us? 😂
Can I maintain a relationship with a narcissist while staying mentally and emotionally detached?
Estás fuera de tu bolsillo!! 🤣😜 (Thanks, Google Translate.) 👐🏻👽✨️
Don't you talk about cleaning your room right now. I just spent 3 days turning entire house inside out. Now THAT'S trauma.
51:08 51:15 51:34 51:51
I know I’m not taking responsibility for what I’m attracting in my life when my fingers are pointed outward.
lol nice thumbnail
only narcissists have symmetrical ear holes 😂
How much can you bench?
Is my elbow hurting or no?
😂😂😂❤
1:06:20 Every time you say my screen name incorrectly - you owe me $5 bucks. I think you owe me $15 total to date. I only accept cash. Sorry. Not sorry.
Read the Bible again.. what will it hurt..
👏👏👏🤍💙❤👑🕊 claping 4 1. part OF video... but why you are confusing folks with acting a role OF narccicist 😄? Good role playing but no wonder some people see you as one. As I've heard OF from other OF l.c and therapists; we can say you are too self aware and too good OF a human to be narccisist 😄. Relax, you are Good. God bless
If God gave you wonky ears, it is for a perfect reason. Probably your divinely inspired humor. With two ears and one mouth the message for creation seems to be to listen twice as much as you talk. Wake up to your design man.
Aren't hands weird and gross😂
31:00 Simple answer. Are you having a flashback while speaking with a friend and having a “One Time Cry” about someone from high school that smacked you in the face that you never thought about until you were telling your story?” (Emotional). Or…are you having daily recurring flashbacks affecting your life because this person from high school smacked you in the face?? (PTSD). Another example - ☠️🪦. People pass. It is up to us to heal from the grief and not allow the PTSD of their ☠️🪦 to take over our lives. We are intitled to be emotional. I promise, you can heal and become the happy person you always wanted to be…and PTSD can be healed just like a person’s ☠️🪦-just like getting smacked in the face in high school ❤
Why aren’t you psychic? 😂😂😂