Narcissists and Manipulation
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
- Narcissists are all about manipulating others to ensure their own needs are being met. Lack of self confidence, compassion and tools results in narcissists using manipulation, coercion or control to ensure they get what they need in order to be/feel good enough, smart enough, valuable.
#narcissism #complextrauma #complextraumaawareness #timfletcher #codependency #shame #addiction #recovery #fyp
They're not kind in the early days; they're nice. There's a big difference.
That’s True!
Yes, I think kindness to them makes them irk because they don't want to be kind unless they get something out of it!!
@@sweetrose813 they do not have the capacity for genuine kindness, they mistake it for weakness, they are ass backwards thinkers, feelings are facts and facts are fiction
They are not kind at all, looking back not even in the beginning of the relationship
Perfectly said. Not kind just nice.👍👍
They will never know how to love people because they don’t love themselves
100% correct.
True that
They will do little things to make you feel obligated to them and they will ask you for big stuff.
Yeah, I bought two cars one got repoed and the other one blew a head gasket😢😢😢
This is exactly what he did to me...exactly!!! He was so charming, handsome, polite, fun, generous, sweet, helpful, sexy. I was walking on air with a permanent smile on my face for the first three years. Then we moved out of town and shared a lovely condo in a beautiful resort town. I was isolated. That's when he changed and over three long years I was traumatized by the toxic malignant narc bully. I've been on my own for three years and still dealing with PTSD, anxiety and insomnia. Isolation. I don't know this broken woman. But, I'm safe and grateful for everything in my life today. Thank God. 🙏
I didn't know that I was going to write all of this personal stuff... wow!!! Take care everyone ❤️ God bless us all 🙏
Exactly everything you said I went through and still going through.
When you said “wow” about the personal stuff means you haven’t been or felt heared In a long long long time.
They strip you away from your core personality, friends, family, hobbies, dreams, goals, compliments etc.
Never tell them your secrets, fears or deepest emotions.
They copy everything from you and lie that they came up with It, calling you stupid but using your words and actions and shamelessly take credit for It.
They hate to see you laugh or to see you happy.
No accountability, always blaming others and constantly angry.
People outside will say you’re lucky with such an person but only If they knew behind closed doors.
Even If they knew, narcissists always make your friends and family turn against you till both your friends, family and you are completely destroyed.
Be careful, take care and remember you are not alone👊🏿❤️
@@barbarageisenhoff2078 your not the only one.. it happens to just about everyone at some point in time. Just try to learn from it. I just got bullied recently from a girl turned people against me. I've met very nice people too.. goes both ways
They don't have self sacrificing love for others. After a while they tend to beat you down and claim to be a victim of your failures.
Sad people they are
This was the hardest lesson learned
Having lived with one, this is the
most precise explanation I have ever heard.
Yes, they are. They also cause you a great deal of pain if you’re in a relationship with them and can make you lose your whole sense of self. They can, too, be vey dangerous, physically as well.
@@sarahjmount9221 You give them way too much credit. If you are sound and have good boundaries, you can have a relationship with a narcissist without any problem. They will learn to love.
It's simple, if you are anchored on the inside, your outside relationships will take care of themselves. If you are not anchored on the inside, your outside relationships will be a mess.
Also, this give to get stuff sounds just like all the preachers on TBN.
Yes!
@@Jacqueline-f9z Clearly, you don't know what a narcissist is.
@@Jacqueline-f9z Truth is.... You are extremely unlikely to be able to actually establish a good or healthy relationship with a person who actually has narcissistic personality disorder, because often times the traits are much too pathological...... Although, you may possibly be able to achieve a good relationship with someone who has or exhibits certain narcissistic traits....... But in both cases, willing self reflection and introspection is absolutely required by the toxic individual.
@spruce5123 The root is codependency. If a person is willing to get into recovery from codependency, all those "labels" resolve themselves.
They sound like most people..on our daily lives. God help us all..
I don't think narcissists think others wont like them at a basic level, they just don't engage in the idea of reciprocal love. It's an incredibly powerful difference. Their task isn't to get people to love them at a deep level, it's to get people to love them at a deep level without expecting any reciprocal effort.
They have a twisted mind and I dont agree with you.
Even if they are aware of it or not, they have a deep insecurity, shame, which they learned to hide with the false persona to a point, they mostly lost the connection to their themselves.
So now, their move are now results of calculations and not true feelings.
Their entire life is about hiding themselves and a series of failed relationship. If anything they learn, if they show their real face, they are unaccaptable. And they are kind of right about it.
Of course being straight from the beggining would change a lot, but they are still broken people, without warm empathy e.g., so even if they are straight, it would be not enough.
Anyway, I do think they think they are unaccaptable on the deep level, thats why they do not engage any deep level connection, and incapable to intimacy.
@@cairosilver2932 This was my experience. This individual played the victim role and contributed in other ways as long as I sheltered them, as I gave everything else wholeheartedly. Once it was time to move they began to handle me like a toy on a shelf. I finally said, NO more!
Oh my... that just ripped the bandaid off... seeing/hearing/feeling the truth of this in a way I never have before
Very well said. The irony is once you catch onto their game, you don't want anything to do with them because they're abusive. So, they're right and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.
@@isabellcaputo954 True indeed!
@@isabellcaputo954 that's where I'm at now, just fired a super of mine, and he's not happy. I was on to him from the beginning and stayed a step ahead. I helped him when he was down with limits. He always tried the crocodile tears, drama, lies, exaggerating stories, blaming me instead of apologizing, stealing and every time I catch him with proof it's all of a sudden a mistake! Unending drama and stress.
Some don't even feel real. They have no SELF.
Truly spoken
They are dangerous in every type of relationship, specifically marriage
Very insightful. Aww, can I just add that when a person like this is all loving at the start, the person is actually compartmentalising all their partners' weaknesses, mistakes, and insecurities, hoping that maybe they will change their partner to be more like them. People who are afraid of insecurities criticise and criticise and criticise their partner.
While spoken on point etc. goes very deep.
Excactly, very well said.
Spot on!
Thank you!
Their taking has no limits.😢😢😢😢
Soo true 👍
This is more than true!
Well put!
So helpful!
Very true, Sir!
That's So sad 😢😢 I pray for thier salvation forgive them father for they know not what they do . ❤🙏🏼😢
They know.
My narc ex used to brag how he was a giver. I told him all he ever gave me was a headache, pain and heartache so in that way, he was correct.
I needed to hear this
Wonderful memories of motivation 🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈 beautiful family of God 🙏🙏 . you are beautiful beautiful blessed with your beautiful family , thankful ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏.
Their manipulations get really old
❤
@@sweetrose813 they're con artists actually.
@@sweetrose813 It really does!
I agree totally
My narcissistic husband and myself brought a house together. I put money into buying this house but I didn't see the signs and boy oh boy I was manipulated by my narcissistic husband. We were only in our house for a few months, when he kicked me out. My narcissistic husband used me to get a house and have a roof over his head!!! He told me he didn't care where I went. Narcissistic people are horrible and like my husband only think of themselves!!
That's the devil's tactic to take control of people and destroy them.
Love is rarely given.
Using and taking is their general format. It’s like kissing thin air…you can look and feel stupid , using either method LOL…
My ex would give me gifts and then use it to constantly remind me ("I gave you xyz, you ingrate") and shut me up or force me to do things I did not want to. After a point I simply refused to accept all gifts so I didn't feel obligated to do anything againts my nature.
💯 PERCENT ON 🎯 FACT'S RE: A NARCISSIST PERSON ‼️
True
I've been groomed so hard I don't have any hair left 😵💫
That is what happens your hair does fall out because of the stress and abuse
Mine sure started falling out. However, theirs was almost all out but got worse and now I know why. All of the games, lies, etc.
Wow! Tim just showed up in my YT feed. I've viewed Dr. Ramani, Dr. Robert Carter, and Clarice. They're all good, but it's an interesting take to hear a Canadian put this information out there as well. He is like the flip-side of Jordan Peterson.
Jordan Peterson warns heavily of Dark-Tetrad traits too.
His work lines up with research that these traits are prevalent in Virtuous Victimhood types.
I'd recommend Darren McGee and his videos on Communal NPD, mobbing and group-harassment.
Exact True
After I moved from my ex narc following all his abuse, he went around the place trash talking me to all our friends. He accused me of never giving his daughter attention… which is exactly the thing HE did
And the wizards and the witches and The sorcerer's said we are in the third generation of manmade narcissism😢😢😢😢😢
My church brainwashed me to be a doormat for my narcissist ex wife. She was making a manipulative deposit into me and she expected a payoff. She never communicated, she only used guilt, shame, stonewalling, and anger to make me feel bad in order to change my behavior to be her doormat and suppress my own needs. And my church never saw her for who she was because she turned on the tears in front of them. But around me she was violent and abusive. They even told me that I was the problem, not her. And she would not be abusive if I was a true "godly" husband. The level of psychological turmoil I ensured for years from all ends was beyond measure. It got to a point to where I experienced my soul being murdered by the constant mental abuse.
Thats terrible😢
When good men join church, this is exactly what it does to them. It makes them doormats. It's horrifying what church can do to good and bad people. It makes the bad men act abusively, and makes the good men suspectable to abuse. It makes bad women feel powerful, and makes the good women feel like they deserve poor treatment.
@@smokingcrab2290 sounds like that whole church was a cult and narcissistic
That's horrific what you went through. Complete mental torture and murdering of your soul is a very appropriate description what these people do to you. I'm so glad that you said that she is your ex and I hope that you are able to go zero contact for your own mental health and healing. Prayers and hope for healing and protection from these demonic spiritual attacks being sent your way🙏🕊❤
@smokingcrab2290 Why are so many of these horrible creatures in the Church. My ex narc girlfriend is a religious narcassist.
I just realized the other day I have never gotten flowers or a card with kind words unless it was during a love bomb when we were separated and would just randomly come home to it. Never when we are normal or “happy” in 10 years. He’s only sorry when he needs something. Then it makes me angry to think of how sweet and nice he must have been to all of the replacements he’d have for months at a time when he would just decide to leave to realize he will have a literal panick attack if I move on as well
Yep...they soon drop the mask though
Facts
Very true
My sisters 🤦🤷♀️
My narcissistic ex is with someone else now and still needs to remind me how lucky I was. Hilarious
Everyone has narcissistic tendencies some just more than others.
So true
Awesome thank you so much
My daughter is leaving her partner today
Once they get it is NEVER ENOUGH and everything you have done is now not valid...they get amnesia and can't remember ONE positive about you.Its a competition. Once my check stopped he left me and our son
What's really sad is in the beginning when they're grooming you and love bombing you they're telling you things but they're blaming it on you but the stuff that they're actually doing but they're not really telling you hey I'm doing this and I'm doing that you finally see everything for what it is when you take a step back and you've been in it for a while you understand people that have not been inside the Box do not understand they think oh he's such a nice person or she's such a great person he's fake fake fake fake
There’s too many people calling each other narcissists - everyone thinks everyone else is a narcissist except themselves
@@AllSven Such true statements. People need to drop all the labels and their pseudo diagnoses of others. You're either in recovery from codependency or you're not. Everything else is just psychologist mumbo jumbo.
There is 9 characteristics of a narcissist. Go look them up. You would be surprised
Clearly, you've never been in a relationship with a narcissist.
@@PerrySkyePhoenix exactly
I can honestly say I know I'm not a narcissist I have way way too much empathy to be a narcissist and my ex narcissists love bombed me he did everything exactly the way Google or all these quora or all these sites and everybody that talks about him he checked every single box so I know I'm not one
You are using me again, 😊😅😅😮😢😢🎉🎉😂❤❤
They are very mean individuals
Unless it is your mother and she controls and hurts you from day one. 😢
Truth is...... The tremendous folly about this that completely escapes them...... Is that if they could find the courage to be upfront and forthcoming about who they are and what they're needs truly are..... Things would actually happen and go so much better for them...... And they wouldn't feel or emotionally perceive that they are constantly compounding, multiplying, and adding more shame to their own true lives, that it feels so hopeless and insurmountable that they feel as though they are beyond the reach of redemption...... Because guess what?...... More people than they may actually think would probably still be inclined to supply them authentically, genuinely, and caringly...... Albeit with mutual cognitively understood limits...... And this would eliminate a great majority of the shame that they are emotionally perceiving about their real actual true lives....... That they are deathly fearful and so extremely afraid of..... That they live the majority of their lives actually attempting and trying to run from themselves and the truth of their lives...... Because you can't really run from yourself, because no matter where you go there you are.
They give until they get. Wow!!
💯
Well giving, of course, in the long run, you also have to receive it is not all about someone's giving. They always have to receive later. That doesn't mean that there is a narcissis, and if you can read people's minds, then, therefore, play the lottery numbers and win millions
Yes my ex mother in law. Hence why she's an ex. My ex husband never stood up for me. I had to take a stand for myself. Life is better without them in it
I only just found out that I am in this situation.
NEMA-NEMA-NEMA HALLELUJAH ❤💯✅
So, what if you give give give only hoping that someone will give back, but never ask for anything in return? I am simply trying to make sure I am not the narcissist. Personally, I am in a full scale effort to understand myself in the light of a particularly painful breakup. I suspect my ex is the narcissist. But I need to be sure that I am not the one that has the problem. I don't ever plan to confront this woman with her perceived narcissism, but if I come to the conclusion that this is the case, I want to make sure that I am not thinking incorrectly.
May take one to know one
Yep
This guy is pretty good.
You can see it's true once you've been through it
😢
And the gaslighting is unbelievable. You constantly are second guessing yourself.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏♥️
Drumph, Drumph, Drumph to a tee. We should all be scared 😳
Almost everyone is a narc Then. 😢
That is my ex-husband. You are 100% right his name Kelvin k Ford
😂thanks for the warning!❤
These narcissists should get karma but that wont happen
Why do I always visualize MM when I hear this? 😮
Sad
Real good. Next trick
It's all about theyr ego
❤
I was married to one. It's was he'll.for 15 yrs
yep 👍 this is so real
What do you do to meet your needs?
The golden rule is something Jesus taught it goes like this:
" Three others the way you would like to be treated." I'm not sure if he is saying this or not , but it sure sounds like it to me, and I would certainly not call Jesus a narcissist. I don't think people are bad to begin with, but they certainly can seem that way when somebody does not reciprocate their actions or efforts. That is not narcissism, and people should realize that if you are a jerk, you do not deserve to be treated well. If you don't care, eventually they won't care either.
This i know
They will never take responsibility will always be the victim but if your around one for long enough youll start to notice that all the things they say someone did to them actually it was them doing those things to the person theyre talking about theyre pathological emotional coercively controlling liars my advice is get as far away from them as possible
Giving to get
Batter system relationships
So true, extremely selfish people they are.
Selfish is self protection for low we self esteem. Heal yourself and you won't have any problems with a narcissist.
@Jacqueline-f9z a narcissist will still damage you if you stay too long even when you're healed.
@nat3786 untrue. People throw around these labels like they know something. They don't. Not even this Jordan Peterson clown.Jordan's daughter is a real piece of work and not in a good way.
The root addiction of all addictions, the root problem of all of these "psychopathies" or "diagnosis with labels" is codependency. Everyone is codependent to some degree. Some are extremely codependent; others are very minimally codependent. The only person to ever walk this earth that was not at all codependent was Jesus Christ.
When codependency is resolved all the labeled conditions go away too.
If you are sound and whole and minimally codependent and HAVE GOOD BOUNDARIES, someone you label a psychopath can't hurt you AT ALL.
People fall for these people like Jordan Peterson (doesn't know his a** from a hole in the ground) because they don't know themselves ( blind leading the blind) and "figuring it out" gives them some sort of imagined power or control. They still aren't living.
Peterson is a walking talking TO DO List rather than a human BEING.
When a person is alive on the inside, everything else takes care of itself. Addictions are a CRY from the inside out of a LACK OF ALIVENESS. Codependency is an addiction. It is the root addiction of all other addictions. And this man Peterson doesn't have the beginning of the start of a clue. Keep listening to him and you'll never get off the hamster wheel.
Point the 👉 finger ministries
bingo
Sounds like the entire human race 😂 😂 😂
NOT ALWAYS TRUE SOME ARE BORN AGAING BELIEVERS WHO GOD WANTS TO MATURE AND GROW BEYOND THEIR MENTAL ILLUNES. REMEMBER THEY ARE MENTALLY ILL. THEY DID NOT DECIDE TO BE THIS WAY. BUT IF THEY DONT REPENT GOD WILL HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE
Like my adopted mother who invested her time and resources in forcing me to go to ballet. I thought i was clumsy and needed it. Sure it couldnt hurt, i guess, but when the toe shoes killed my feet, i wasnt "sweet any more". Sorry lady. But you dont always get what you want. I hate ballet to this day. You dont always get what you expect from an 11 year old child. Watch out for the gold diggers.Its not a childs job to meet the needs of their parent. Respect your elders? Yes, if they're mature and realistic.
Omg, they sound horrible
The character God in the Bible is an overt example of a narcissist.
You give them way too much credit. If you are sound and have good boundaries, you can have a relationship with a narcissist without any problem. They will learn to love.
It's simple, if you are anchored on the inside, your outside relationships will take care of themselves. If you are not anchored on the inside, your outside relationships will be a mess.
Also, this give to get stuff sounds just like all the preachers on TBN.
So you can handle the disrespect ? Because they pretend then they start no matter who you are or how strong you are. They wait patiently to find your weakness.
All these4 comments from people who have been used. They allowed themselves to be used. No sympathy. If you are not now happy, move on. You have the freedom to change.
@@keithdymale5232 this is not a place to victim shame. Clearly you've never been on the receiving end of the manipulation and lies. Actually you probably use people, as I've heard a user/narc say before " she was trying to buy love". Sick sick sick