Proxemics: Understanding Personal Space
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
- Proxemics involves the culturally dependent ways in which in which people use interpersonal distance to understand and mediate their interactions with other people.
Researcher Edward Hall (1966, p. 110) suggests that there exist 4 specific distance zones in western culture that communication can take place within:
Intimate Space (Touch - 45 cm): Reserved for close, intimate conversations, but may also be used in haptic communication (The appropriate use of touch). For example, a consoling hand on the shoulder in times of emotional distress.
Personal Space (45 cm - 1.2 m): Permits interaction with close friends, and could be used by teachers to discuss personal matters such as test feedback, home life, and so on.
Social Space (1.2 m - 3.6 m): One of the most appropriate zones to act within in the classroom as a teacher. Seen as a friendly space, which is not too distant in terms of interaction.
Public Space (3.6 m - 7.6 m): Though teachers may appear to be formal while presenting in this zone, students may view interactions in this zone as distant, resulting in lack of attention.
I had a professor in college who had a very very large personal zone. I actually watched someone talk to him who had a small personal zone, and the professor kept backing up, which would cause the other person to move forward. He had a tendency to leave right after class, run to his office, and get behind his desk, so people couldn't get near to him. I had a question after class, and managed to get to the front of the classroom before he left. I stood far away from him as I asked my question. He started to answer it and work on the board. I moved back when needed, giving him his room. I wouldn't get within his space at all. He stayed and talked with me for half an hour. If you pay attention to people, sometimes they tell you what they need without saying a word.
You're a cool person, respect
Okay but there *is* the possibility the person with a “small personal zone” actually was hard of hearing and needed to be closer to hear the professor. In which case it would be a very unfortunate situation to navigate.
@@rumpeltyltskynthey should say that and then the teacher could speak up lol
@@beccaboo147yeah. The professor could just speak louder. That’s what professors do all the time in their job as a professor.
Just reading this I felt like I was there. Poor prof.
Imagining being at a party and watching a Japanese dude and an Italian slowly move around the room
The Italian is getting closer to the Japanese as the Japanese tries to flee the Italian
literally S-tier comment
It’s like when you’re trying to put to magnets together, kinda
And I thought they were very good friends before-
@@hashbitesto everyone’s surprise, it was the Italian who backed out first and the Japanese stayed until they got the sun dropped on them twice
Get on a crowded elevator and don’t face the door. Just stand there facing everyone. No one can look at you.
I went into a crowded elevator in IKEA when I was a kid while eating really loud popping candy everyone was so confused
I was at a writer's convention several years ago. There was one author that had an enterage that included security because she had stalkers. A friend (who was somewhat a tough cookie) and I were in the elevator going down. The doors opened and the author was there with her people. One person said that they would wait for another elevator and the author said no, that she was hungry. They got in with us and I tried to ignore everyone (to give the author 'privacy'). That was until I heard whimpering. As the doors opened and before we left, I saw that my friend was pinned to the corner and the author had stood, face to face, chest to chest , blocking my friend in and giving death stares.
@@tiredoftrolls2629 oh man. Id get so upset
@@TheByrd we laugh about it now, but figured out that we were supposed to leave the elevator to let her have it. In her defense, she had some crazy fans that had threatened her life.
@@tiredoftrolls2629 I mean, I was at Dodger Stadium when Tommy Lasorda came in with 3 body guards. The elevator was full but even though this dude is an absolute living legend (at the time) nobody is getting off that elevator just because he is who he is. And no body guards were sizing up the other people on the elevator. I mean, what if you didn't know who that author was. Elevators are usually public and here you have a bodyguard sizing up your friend for no reason. Then again I wasn't there 😅
For a swede, watching this video is probably enough social contact for a week
dont worry, allah will guide you.
@@holdtheline8814well that’s an interesting introduction i must say
@@colinwaller3792😂😂
@ted kaczynski. WTF? God doesn’t exist to Swedish people let alone Allah.
Same for Norwegians
As an Arab person I can confirm we may get too intimate a lot of the time, be it getting too close, kissing on the cheek, boys holding hands and such, for others it might look too intimate but it's just a sign of strong friendship.
I’m physically close with my friends like that.. I’m American and it’s not weird to be touchy with friends but there is a certain level where it gets too close… and I often cross that line lol 😅 I’m super affectionate and my friends don’t mind, but I always ask if it’s ok to be that close lol
I'm italian and I was once in a hospital and my cousin came to visit me and, since we hadn't seen each other in a while and I had been in quite a bit of pain, we hugged for a couple of seconds.
A couple of days later a girl came to visit me and other patients saw us kissing, and a brazilian woman then told me that she previously thought I was gay and that my cousin was somehow my boyfriend because we hugged each other. 😅
Which was quite funny, but also a bit surprising.
Especially since on many aspects brazilians are not that far off from italians on a cultural level. And this happened in italy so it's not like it was her first time seeing italians interact with each other.
Yep, with some of my aunts i greet with 3 kisses on the cheek
I'm Italian and watching this video I was thinking "wow that personal zone is way too far away for a conversation with a close friend or a family member", and then he brought it up that in Italian culture personal space is a smaller lol
Italian here, I completely feel you. If I can't have physical contact with someone, I may as well not talk to them lol
In the UK we pretend no one exists so avoid eye contact at all costs.
I really miss that part of living in UK. Feeling truly anonymous in the crowd.
Just walking down the street in my home country feels like social exercise. It gets exhausting.
Exactly 😭 I live in London and there’s never interaction
Man i would hate that. I’ve made actual long lasting friendships by talking to random strangers I see.
Michigan was like that, Ohio there is much more interaction. I think the Southern US is very different than the North.
I miss the old privacy I had.
@@gujwdhufjijjpo9740 Me too and I live in England. Maybe I'm so autistic I *stareeee* at fellow brits until they anxiously return eye contact and I trap them in a social connection.
But I can't say I've ever felt like we all avoid eye contact...
... You're supposed to make eye contact with random people in the store?
No, unless you're trying to project a creepy vibe.
@@TheDunestrider so why is he talking about when we make eye contact with random people in the store?
Not in a big city, but in small and medium towns in the USA (less than 50K people) this is more the norm.
@@_magnify that makes much more sense now
Not supposed to, but why avoid it? Just a quick glance of acknowledgement. How you do it shows intent as friendly or hostile. Midsized towns and smaller commonly do this. Trying to pretend someone else doesn't exist when they're right next to you seems odd. No wonder people in big cities also ignore crimes in progress. Large cities seem to create so much distance and avoidance in people.
As a half Italian and half Japanese living in Italy, I grew up not even knowing that people look at each other in the eyes while they speak.
I thought it was reserved for when your teacher scolds you, because that was the only time anyone would tell me "look at me in the eyes when I speak!" at which I would then uncomfortably stare into her eyes, and it was so scary but also fascinating. Only years later was I told that keeping eye contact while talking is normal and expected in Italy. Ever since then I slowly got used to it and now I even make quick eye contact with passerbys who seem interesting or friendly, and there are so many different ways people pass you by: some make quick eye contact, some stare, most ignore you neutrally, while others ignore you and your existence in a rude way.
In Japan there is no worrying about eye contact because nobody does it, let alone strangers walking by. No eye contact doesn't mean to be rude. What I find rude is people who stare at you into your soul while you're having a conversation, never letting go and asserting some kind of dominance or not even realising they're making you uncomfortable by invading your inner privacy. But there's also such beauty and openness in looking someone in the eyes, so offering your openness to strangers and acquaintances is also nice.
In Italy, not looking people in the eye when they speak to you would broadcast the message that you're not really listening to them or you're being dismissive of what they're saying. It is considered quite rude
I sometimes notice that I look people in the eyes too much and too long when someone is talking to me. I just don't know where else to look?? I feel like the other person will think I'm not paying attention, even though I don't feel like that when someone isn't constantly staring at me when I talk.
Idk, for me it's just to tell the speaker that I care.
Me accidentally staring someone down because I was thinking about if I turned the oven off or not
"ignore you and ignore your existence in a ruse way"?
What makes it rude compared to non-rude? Genuine question as an autistic person
@@idek7438 Interestingly, in some Asian cultures, looking at an elder/upperclass person (i.e. senior student, boss, etc.) directly in the eye could be taken as a sign of rudeness especially if you're being scolded by them.
You're expected to actually avert your gaze from them by looking downwards at their feet or the floor with your head tilted down.
I don't even make eye contact. I just start looking at whatever is on the shelves until the person goes away. Simple.
This is the way
Exactly... Everyones always got eyes on the shelves when I've been to the shop lol
@@IndustrialParrot2816 funny you say that, because Mandalorian culture, especially the Children of the Watch, are a fascinating study of how personal zones can be radically different based in culture and religion.
To me thats sad :( no connection desired in anxious over materialistic societies.
What if you walk past someone you know but don't recognize him because you haven't made the eye contact and the person thinks you're ignoring him on purpose
The most fun thing to see is an Italian and a Finnish person moving through the room while in conversation. It's the dance of personal space.
Personally never found it awkward, I smile at everyone because it brings me and the other person a kick of joy. I smile at passing bus drivers or cars, I smile when I pass people in the street, I smile when I enter a store, and every time I get a smile back like they weren’t expecting it and it brings me a lil bit of happiness.
Especially in cities where people smile less you notice the split second of surprise on people’s faces when you smile at them, and then they reciprocate with a big ol’ smile of their own, and it’s just a nice moment.
Smile more at strangers, people! Everyone loves it, so might as well do it all the time and make the world feel just a little bit happier 😊😊😊
Your comment made me smile!
having spent time with a Deaf community, where sign language was the dominant communication , the boundaries were different, partly from needing to eg tap on a shoulder to get attention to speak to someone, the personal space was much smaller
In Iraqi-Kurdi culture, it's really common for men to show their male friends physical affection. I worked with a guy who was brand new to America and we became good friends despite the language barrier. At first, he did invade my intimate bubble a couple of times briefly, but he was cute and I took it as a way of communicating since we didn't have spoken language so it didn't bother me.
But over time, the physical affection got very intimate and sustained. Initially, I thought he was hitting on me, but i eventually chocked it up to a difference in culture. The most intimate moment was when we prayed together. It was in a tight hallway and we were right next to each other. At the end of prayer, you're supposed to turn your head and say "asalam ulakum", but I didn't know that. He grabbed my chin and turn my face to his. Direct eye contact, extremely close, didn't remove his hand from my chin... I blushed hard and had a bit of gay panic.
I miss him. He was a cool guy. And not being able to speak the same language really stretched my ability to communicate and break down concepts to a very basic level.
Bro you writing a watpad story or something?
@@icre8same first thought lol
Kurdish mothers trying to resist kissing everyone on the cheek.. 💀
@@Saturniuslmao same
Lol, I'm Iraqi and I can confirm that. Kissing on the cheek for men is normal and not considered gay at all. You can see many friends holding each other's hand and that's a sign of strong friendship rather than looking gay.
Even in chats, speaking with other guys sounds really gay for outsiders (and for me since I'm really affected by outside culture).
There’s definitely a factor relating to growing up in a rural area vs urban. I grew up in a Appalachian town with like 20k ppl, my partner is from NYC. I make eye contact from like 10 yards away, just to make sure I don’t seek up on anyone. He can walk into a couple holding hands so close they have to separate in complete obviousness.
Never, I'm gonna be making eye contact with every single label of that very interesting shelf. Oh look they are bringing back vintage cereal mascots.
I am a foreigner living in Korea. In my home country, I am used to smiling at people whenever I make eye contact. But once I realized that in Korea they were only looking at me because I was different, and not as a form of acknowledgement, I just stopped making eye contact all together. 😂 I will feel their stares, and I want to look up and smile sooooo bad, but I have to keep reminding myself that it is weird to smile at them.
That's so uncomfortable. I'd be miserable knowing smiling bothers people but they feel entitled to stare at the non-Korean for being different. That would feel hostile.
I had a similar issue in germany and the trick is to stare back. Hard. Until they look away. It doesn't come naturally but once learned it's a trick that will come in super handy, so i highly recommend using this opportunity to learn.
@@vacafuega yes! I will try that!!!
@@kimberlygriffin6285i'm so damn curious, op, how did that go?
As an Italian, I'm used to kiss on cheeks people which I know just to greet.
Italian moms & grannies that smother you with kisses will make you turn out like that
Oh this would be hard for me. I am autistic. Once a Cuban woman kissed my cheeks and I was shocked!
Same here in France, although it disappeared a little with the Covid era
I hope its the cheeks of the face tho.
@@SuperMaster000X you're no fun lol for what it's worth, parents also kiss their babies on the belly. They also blow raspberries/make fart noises. It tickles & they find it funny
When I was in college, we had an anthropology course called, "qualitative methodologies" that included a unit on proxemics.
We had to do an observational study on a space, assessing the meaning of movement and distance between people.
I observed the proxemics of people in a mall food court.
For example, at what distance do the counter workers engage with a potential customer?
Oh, that's interesting! How did you go about studying that behavior organically? Like, I bet you couldn't pull out a meter stick to judge how far some of these interactions took place from one another. I assume you more or less eyeballed it and interviewed people.
I'm autistic, do people in shops make eye contact?!?! It had literally never occurred to me 😅
Those who need to read the others' lips as stone deaf people need to look st the other person's face, even autistic deaf people must do it as almost nobody seems to be able and/or willing to sign. It has been akward for decades to do so, but now I have no other choice. I'm not looking forward to times when wearing face masks will be forced upon us all again - because it will.
I'm autistic and my father made me make eye contact from a young age. Yes and no, just depends on my mood
@@strawbbtarte it never depended on my mood. When dad was angry he forced me to make eyecontact "guck mich gefälligst an, wenn ich mit dir rede!".
Seriously, "an impulse to make eye contact"? Never experienced it when walking past someone
I'm surprised too. When I'm in market (or any place) i just dont care about unknow people
As an Italian, we also have a specific variation that is the space you can be eating a pizza with someone. It's called the Cal-zone
Why not a pizza zone?
@@DashieDeit was a pun
Calzone is the name of a specific pizza
oh my god unironically this is physically exactly what I needed dude. Thank you.
you're actually so underrated
"When are you supposed to make eye contact?"
You don't. You avoid eye contact at all cost.
Your channel is very unique, I am learning about stuff that I would have never imagined I want to learn about. Keep it going 👏🏽
This reminds me that different cultures interrupt each other at different speeds. After learning this I noticed many people who seemed rude just talk faster naturally... if you listen closely you can notice the difference and re-calibrate. It makes a world of difference
This just reminds me of one time I was sitting in a chair in a waiting area where I work, because I came in early. A woman came in, and sat DIRECTLY next to me. There was no one else around and many many open seats. She then started coughing, without a mask, until I just decided to get up and leave. I was barely a step away and she had already stood up and taken my seat. There was an *identical chair* opposite us. And no reason (no tv, etc.) for her to take my seat.
Seeing different social contact customs for different places is so interesting. In the usa (California) it’s often that you compliment random strangers on outfits/ even have conversation with them while walking past. In Oregon, your even supposed to wave/ gesture at everyone you pass while driving on the road! Pretty cool
Here in Brazil proxemics areas are very small. Sometimes a quick hug is an acceptable greeting even for strangers.
But be careful, most people misunderstand this concept. It doesn't mean you can get personal with anyone. Not everyone is comfortable with that. Proxemics vary from person to person too.
An italian person discovering about other countries' personal boundries is the purest definition of cultural shock.
Talking to someone in countries like Japan or Sweden will feel sad and distant to most, expecially older folks
Being autistic makes this veryyy confusing to feel out lmao, most of the time I avoid eye contact all together even though I like being friendly. And in America this sort of thing varies SO much from place to place, culture to culture, and (of course) person to person that it's really hard to walk that line between "insultingly aloof" and "uncomfortably friendly." It's one thing I overthink a lot and I'm self-conscious of ^^'
I'm from Córdoba, Argentina. Which is arguably one of the most touchy and personal-space invading cultures of the world. And I happen to be autistic. I never get use to it, but I find some charm in it.
“When do you make eye contact?” Uhm, never! I immediately start looking at the shelves. “Man, this box of laxatives sure is interesting!”
After just 2 videos I can see this channel is perfect for me. Seems psychological based.
To be honest I just speedwalk past people if I need to get through 😂
Love your videos man, always learn something.
In massage therapy school, we did an exercise with this! We sat on the floor in pairs and took turns with person A scooting a little closer to person B at a time, and just took a second with each scoot to observe how we felt about the proximity, then repeated with the other person doing the scooting-closer. It was really illuminating to try giving conscious thought to it and looking into our feelings and assumptions and discussing our different perceptions. At the time, first, I thought I just had no discomfort boundary, then I concluded that I _did_ have a personal space zone but just considered it to be large and include everyone around me by default lol.
... Aaaaaaaand now that I'm talking about this 13 years later and have done a lot of work learning to be more aware of my feelings/realizing I have flawed boundaries in general/learning I'm prone to taking on too much responsibility for the needs of others ... SUDDENLY THAT PAST PERCEPTION, AND MY DEVELOPMENT OF DESIRE FOR MORE PERSONAL SPACE SINCE THEN, MAKES ONE HECK OF A WHOLE NEW LAYER OF SENSE 😂
i would comfortably be able to touch shoulders while sitting with any family or even more with friends like we just use eachother like leg rests, so either my personal space is small or i intimately love my friends which i dont think is incorrect
Always , Great Presentations !!!
I was going to mention that the proximity has a lot to do with cultures.
You nailed it !!! Outstanding presentation!!!
That explains why I got uncomfortable when the lady sat next to me. It's not a crowded bus lady! One seat empty between people as buffer!
You would love finnish bus culture. People don't sit next to strangers unless there's no other options and even then some people choose to stand instead of sitting next to a stranger.
Yes this is 100% me. Weirdos everywhere not keeping what I think is appropriate spacing freak me out. Live in England though:-) Message for visitors..in a completely empty bus, church, cinema, train, you sit yourself as far away as possible not *right next to me*. And stop it with the phones.
Seats should have the same rules as urinals
@@user-bf3pc2qd9swhat do you mean stop it with the phones ? I’m from France and people use their phones all the time in public transport. Is that what you mean?
I've worked catering where different groups from different cultures intermingle. It's actually slightly amusing to watch people subconsciously chase each other when people with smaller personal space vs those with larger spaces auto adjust their spaces.
oh hey, I was just binging all the other shorts after finding this channel today 👀 hey from Ukraine!
🌻
Free Ukraine and Syria 💚💛💙
from a Syrian ❤
I'm italian, and the whole duration of the video I was thinking "wait, zones are supposed to be that far apart? Since when?" and then the last part came. Proud of my origin!
In the town I live right now people avoid eye contact entirely. When they do make eye contact they rarely smile. I FEEL SO INVISIBLE!!!😭
After spending the last 48 hours being shuffled around airplanes with mechanical issues (thanks aa...), I can't tell you how much i appreciate finally having a word to describe the stuff I've been thinking about lol. It's weird how doing something like riding in a plane next to a stranger can create a sort of liminal intimacy, weird how it feels normal to talk about personal things (work, kids, childhood, education, food preferences, etc) when a stranger has to occupy that intimate zone out of necessity, and fascinating how all of that stuff can change from culture to culture. Love your videos!
as an autistic fellow, I'm going to be more social with the nearby shelves than anyone in the same aisle
Same, I pretend to look at every single item in an aisle as if I'm not just gonna get the same items I always get
This really helps someone like me with social anxiety understand where the boundaries are with people, I don't have much practise with people so I've never really learned
What about the zone where you don't even feel comfortable with someone walking on the sidewalk outside of your house, what is that zone called?
Personally, I call it "The introvert zone".
Social anxiety
Antisocial personality disorder?
The paranoia zone!
That would be the Caucaso-suburban Zone
this is why going to the store or just anywhere in public with friends or relatives is a godsend, you can just chat with your homie and not have to worry about this stuff
i have a huge problem with people ignoring my personal space when im in line. they literally act like they are doing nothing wrong too. im talking like 2 or 3 inches away from me like its ridiculous ive had to tell people before to back up or im going to fight them.
We need to have in mind that different cultures may also have different personal zones. As a brasilian, I can say that it's pretty normal here to literally hang on our friends and family. Intimate and personal are almost the same
Noted; when going to Japan, do not hold someone's shoulder if I make a new friend
As someone who’s on the spectrum, this has been a point of a lot of anxiety for me. Thank you for making this video! I’m gonna look into this more :)
I have a friend who literally couldn’t be more than like 3 inches from people. He’s not close enough until you literally get bumped by him and it’s nice because he’s close with people and that causes trust and friendship building but it can be a little uncomfortable
So interesting how these can be so different for some individuals in a given culture too.
Why do I need to make eye contact with a stranger in a shop?
Why did you need to write this comment? Because people are social creatures.
You don't.
I moved from Southamerica to Australia, I can definitely say that there is a difference in social and personal space, I tend to have a closer proximity of social space that seems to overlap with the personal space of other colleagues (Of course I learned the difference right away and adapted to it, I just found this difference fascinating).😊
I don't have such weakness, I make eye contact and stare at whoever I want, some wouldn't even notice, some would look back for 2 seconds then turn away and some psychos would start a staring contest and maybe get ready to fight
Very good thing to mention the difference in cultures 👍
Ah i just dont look at all :s
I’m so happy to live in a country where literally everyone is so introverted that you barely realise you’re with other people
neurotypical people be like
As someone who's been a human my whole life. Do your best to avoid eye contact at all costs. If your eyes happen to meet, give a single downward nod to acknowledge the other individual, and continue on your way.
Circles of autism
Your post-production editing skills are very impressive, bro!! I'm learning a lot with your channel! :)
I feel no obligation to look at anyone in public, but rather find it important to keep an eye on everyone in case of any danger.
I'm Swedish. The right answer is "never." Also, while on the subject of personal space, when the social distancing rules were lifted at the end of the pandemic, the running joke was "Thank god, we can now go back to 8 feet social distancing. Things were getting way too intimate."
Yes, that is depressingly frigid, thank you.
I work as a scare actor. Yes, we can identify your personal bubbles. Yes, we intentionally get into juuuuust the right spot. Sometimes not too close because then it can become silly, but bordering right on your bubble and keeping you guessing usually works a treat.
Oh my god. Several days ago, I was waiting for my exam in my uni’s library when I noticed all the students waiting there were deliberately sitting exactly one seat away from each other (me included). This is a thing I’ve noticed for a long time but never gave it much thought. In that moment I wondered “Why do we do this? There’s gotta be some study about this phenomenon”. Lo and behold, days later, at 3am I discovered this video introducing a whole field of study to me 😂
I was taught by my Taekwon-do instructor that most people feel unease the moment someone they’re not sure about gets within touching distance
It proved true to me
Your posts are consistently interesting
It's not just different between countries.
I used to be an actor in theatre and I play DnD.
Whenever I switch between the two I had to recalibrate so hard I swear it gave me whiplash!
(Actors especially in theatre don't mind people speaking to them from really close because they are used to whispering to each other back stage to avoid being heard by the audience. But the guy who taught me to play DnD was uncomfortable with me hugging him hello/goodbye or even just when I told him that I appreciate his friendship!)
this has the same vibe of two bros chillin in a hot tub five feet apart cause they aren't gay
How about to bros chilling in a hot tub one foot apart but they aren't gay and neither is going to make eye contact because it's too intimate
there's a high likelihood that played at least some roll in where our personal private and intimate zones are but it's more likely these zones existed before our notions about sexuality.
anthony padilla!!
Lol, it's fine for bros to chill in a hot tub together, period, because men should be more comfortable with their "masculine image."
@fracanl I know right! If anything, thinking that being too close to another guy threatens your masculinity shows your insecurity in it.
This is so important. I had no clue. Being autistic is playing a game in a language you’ve never heard while people yell at you, and this just turned subtitles on
I personally like to make eye contact and smile to people on the street, even greet them with a good morning. I do it because it's good to be recognized and because it's safer.
I do that too, eye contact, smile, and a nod. But I usually don't say anything, maybe I'd say "excuse me"
This reminds me of tthe 3 selfs which follows the same principle but with personality instead of space (3 different personalities when they interact with intimate partners or by themselves, people at home, and strangers).
Though not legally required to wear glasses, I’m near-sighted enough to it. I always feel like I’m late to acknowledge the person coming towards me on a path because of it. I also didn’t grow up with this culture of smiling at strangers in public so it has been a learning process.
Man, as someone who's absolute shit at verbal communication- I replaced that with physical communication since I was a kid. The personal bubble has always been a struggle with me- considering cultural factors, obliviousness to social cues, and just being really affectionate- It's how I show ppl that they matter to me or that I'm simply acknowledging their presence. However, I think I've gotten better at controlling it though. Now I take a step back, remind myself that not everyone is cool with physical touch like that, and actually ask from the beginning whether the other person is okay with it. Thankfully, most ppl I know either don't care or fully embrace it.
It's not just a cultural thing, many individuals have trouble with personal spaces and eye contact in general. Autistic people or person with social anxiety to name two examples. I was very happy during Covid as 6 feet away is what's comfortable to me.
I maintain eye contact since the second its possible till they are out of my field of view, i love seeing people!
When I first moved to Brasil, it took a while to get used to how much closer people would come-- I was used to a much bigger personal space.
oh yeah, I learned to seek out eye contact, it's a great way to build confidence and convince people that you're a person. Just don't forget you need to smile with your eyes and your mouth or you'll come off as intimidating.
As an introvert i have constructed an entire method for this scenario, to make it as much comfortable for me as possible (although as a side effect, it might be much more uncomfortable for othe introverts I'm looking at)
My dad and his friends noticed when they were younger that one of their friends had a pretty far distance they subconsciously allowed people in, and noticed that when they were in a conversation with them, that every time they took a step in towards them, the friend would subconsciously take a stop in the other direction. And so they played a little game taking advantage of this, in which one person would engage in conversation, and the other friends would stand nearby, and they would all slowly take steps here and there, and moved the other friend around the room without him even noticing. They were able to take him in circles and circles because it was so subtle that he never noticed. When the conversation ended they would tell him where the conversation started, and he’d be like “wtf? How did I get all the way over here??”
Worked with a woman from a country in Africa her personal zone was closer than here. She tended to stand much closer than most of my coworkers were comfortable with. She actually caused injury doing this. I was carrying a heavy, awkward box up from our storage area. As I took a step back to swing it onto a counter, I bumped into her because she was right behind me. She had followed me from the door and I wasn't aware she was there. I did a stutter step, dropped the box and wrenched my shoulder. Nothing in the box broke but I had to get an x-ray. She was a very nice person but didn't understand the personal space zone here.
In Italy there are also regional differences. Not only for personal space but also for how to greet strangers. For example I have a big personal space and i mostly greet people with a handshake never by hugging. I am from the Milan area and also eye contact in the streets is very uncommon. While my friends from the south are more socially open, also my friends from Iceland are more socially open
I remember in high school there was an exchange student from Argentina. She would crowd me so hard walking together down the hallways I finally said she was in my bubble, too close. ✋🏼
She then realized that’s how it was in Argentina where it was so heavily populated they walked close together.
And in SPAIN, women link elbows, especially con las abuelas .
There's certainly differences in culture on where these zones lie in different situations. For one thing, I've noticed some east Asian students stand VERY close while waiting in line for food or a bus.
I also noticed on buses that women are more comfortable being close to other women than men are to men, so there is variation among groups even in the same culture
I'm definitely one of those people who is very intimate with people, and I learned pretty early that not everyone likes that. I always make sure to ask before touching anyone, even if it's something I normally wouldn't mind.
Oh my god wait this is so helpful I never understand closeness as an autistic person the visualization is so helpful!
I noticed this a long time ago, but I couldn't put it into words. It happens even in the swimming pools where we are separated by lanes: unless they know me well, nobody takes the lane right next to me until the pool is full and there is no other available space. Same for urinals of public toilets.
As someone who takes the nyc public transit, everyone is very intimate based on this video
Venezuelan here, our social, personal and intimate spaces are tightly close hehe We love our hugs
As someone with bad eye sight I am terrible with these kinds of zones. I naturally get closer to people since I have to be fairly close to actually see them. As such I have no problem being close to people (for the most part), but I do have to remind myself that others can see me just fine from a bit further away.
Here in Argentina we hava very small spaces too. As in Italy, we also greet with a kiss most of the time, we are very used to shaking hands and hugging a lot.
I confirm that last part. I'm from Argentina (we're kind of.. a mixture between Spain and Italy, for saying somehow...?) and that's exactly like that. It's not even strange to hug or kiss a person the cheek as a greeting when they are just introduced to each other
I literally just don’t make eye contact unless I’m saying excuse me and even then most of the time I don’t. I’ve been practicing though and it’s not that bad, makes me feel more comfortable and attached to the world with just a simple acknowledgement.
Love your videos. Thank you!
Best shorts channel
Social distancing was so nice
I used to live in Sydney so this was all just about non-existent. Then I moved to a small town. Pair that with autism and I am utterly MYSTIFIED.
Maybe a quick polite hello is appropriate when circumstances (like a hallway or aisle) make distancing options obviously limited. If by some unexpected chance the other person is interested in more, they can now say so.