The thing with hearing in noisy environments may also be a 'filter' setting, where i hear all the people speak in a crowded room and can't filter out the conversation i'm supposed to be part of, looking at them helps as i can see the lips move and then correlate that with the appropriate voice.
Yes! I can hear all the conversations and the TV equally, but I'm too polite to ask them to turn the TV off that no-one's watching (even though the background music on the TV show's really distracting because it's a ripoff of a film score that came out a few years ago that I really like)... I've tried lipreading more lately. Thankfully no-one's mistaken me looking at their mouth for being sexually interested in them, which I hear is a thing. It's like you really can't do anything without it being misread as pragmatics, but that's a whole other conversation! I think a lot of my problems boil down to "I can't ignore unimportant things."
@@TransistorSounds The settings for the priority filter are off, indeed in a room with talking people and a tv that's got the sound on is distracting as ***
I don't know much about synthesizers or sound design, but the algorithm knew I would like this, so now I'm catching up on your neurodivergence videos. Fascinating and relatable. Thank you so much for sharing.
I never realized light sensitivity might be related to my autism! I just thought having blue eyes made me ridiculously sensitive (and yes, the blackout curtains help a lot!)
I wouldnt call that a hazy explanation at all! Made sense to me. I'm really glad you made this video. I've recently been diagnosed level 1 after living most my life thinking i've only had severe adhd, and learning more about the nuances of autism really helps me figure things out!
Thank you. Wow. I never heard of 'Auditory processing disorder'. I did some simple tests online and I really struggled to make out what people were saying. I couldn't answer the simplest of questions about what was described in the audio. I've been like this my whole life - I just thought it was 'one of those things'. If I'm in a noisy place, I can't hear what people are saying, and yet everyone else seems to have no problem with conversations. I can hear every detail in music without any problems.
Thank you for explaining why everyone says I am deaf and I need subtitles on the television for conversation, and yet some noises literally hurt my ears - birdsong in particular pains me!
Sometimes I think I'm not that bad and maybe I'm just imagining it, then I remember you're the exact same and I inherited it from you, so that's actually helped me get over the imposter syndrome somewhat. ❤️ That, and when I finally ventured outside to see Oppenheimer at the cinema, I got a debilitating headache from the volume, and still couldn't work out some of the lines...
Wheezing at this only for the fact I am also trans and autistic and have attempted to use modular synthesis to explain how autism feels to a friend lmao. I've described it like you're trying to use uninsulated cables and so the cables making contact causes interference and I am very bad at cable management so trying to reroute a cable means a lot of things are going to bump and cause wayward mental reactions I guess is a way to phrase it. I have the same hypersensitivity to sound you are describing so it's weird I ended up with music production as a hobby but maybe it's beneficial too. I think your analogy works very well, great vid!
Ha, thanks! Ooh, I didn't think about the lack of insulation, that might better explain the crosstalk and synaesthesia (though I think myelin does insulate axons, but in short segments with gaps between them, so yeah, maybe you do get crosstalk there?)... I think being very aware of sounds and being into sound design and music production makes a lot of sense, I think that's more the reason why rather than it being despite that. Between the lack of filtering and hearing sounds so well, we're going to be pretty consciously aware of more of the sounds throughout the mix. Like I'll hear people say "I really like this song!" but not "Oh, huh, the snare drum sample alternates between two slightly different pitches, that's a nice touch!" I'm always amazed at how many trans autists you find in musical instrument shops and synth meetups... 😄
chemoception, thermoception, chromaception, lumaception, proprioception, audioception, acceleroception have i got all of them? i know taste is subtly different from chemoception, and chroma and luma are usually put together, maybe audioception is maybe more accurately baroception?
This is easily the most satisfying explanation I've come across thus far. I've wondered at times whether I'm autistic myself, and I definitely have some traits (possibly APD, used to have trouble with hidden meanings "why don't you just say what you mean!?", was The Weird Kid at class, feel my emotions too strongly at times, used to be scared of loud sounds, get really deeply into my interests) but I always feel like I'm only halfway there, you know? Oh, and synesthesia too but I don't know how relevant that is. Still, great video and loved the analogy with the dials. ♥
Synaesthesia's pretty common amongst autistic people, so I'd say it's relevant! It's definitely worth pursuing as a possibility. As shocking as it is, neurotypical people generally tend not to find multiple autistic traits relatable. 😅 Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad I could help!
Ooh, I don't think I've heard of that variant before. They're all so fascinating, cheers! I must admit, I'm pretty jealous of "proper" synaesthetes. I can't see or feel music or anything, I just know which digits are which colour, which... doesn't help me much. 😅
@@TransistorSounds yes, Monotype technology, at least back in my Book Art Museum days :). I mainly do electronics - vacuum tubes and semiconductors alike. I'm into some space and science nerdiness, a bit of programming, gaming and graphic design, and I'm also fond of '70s...'90s alternative music and fashions :)
@@artisans8521 there was more to it than it seems - not just manual, but hot metal typesetting too. Linotype, Intertype, Monotype... And speaking of computers, industry started using them for typesetting even in the '60s - the result was fed into the typecasting machine. Linotype/Intertype required control attachments for that (though late Linotype models such as Elektron had those features from the get go), and Monotype needed an electromechanical perforator for its original 31-channel tape system. '50s...'70s were a "weird" transition period when both hot metal typesetting and phototypesetting co-existed, the latter being the new technology evolved from the old hot metal machines, with some parts replaced. Look at a Monophoto filmsetter, and you'll already see some components you could find on a Monotype composition caster - and some replaced for the process. There'll still be a matrix case, but instead of bronze matrices for casting, they'll be plastic and allow light to shine through to expose the photosensitive paper. The matrix case's positioning mechanism will still be familiar though.
5:25 - oh my goodness that's so much of what I suffer when out in even slightly noisy social situations. I can't help but feel the trade off is an acute enjoyment of sounds and music. That's just pure speculation though.
Yeah, on the one hand a lot of environments are too loud and chaotic and I need to wear noise-cancelling headphones, yet I can't tell what people are saying quite often... but on the other hand my partner and I can get excited about a cool sound together, and make lots of music. My music's also pretty heavily sound design focused too. I've gotten distracted in a shop many times because they're playing a song in the background that seemingly no-one else notices, and I'm waiting to quietly sing along with the overdub that's about to kick in...
i can relate really well to the "hear stuff a lot, but have a hard time translating the sound of speech into words" thing. when i'm sitting in a group with friends or playing a game together, sometimes someone suggests turning on some music, but i'm always the one saying "no" - if there's music playing, i'm going to struggle understanding the talking. also on a related note, do you also have the experience of not being able to talk over music yourself? to me it's kind of like talking over someone else talking, it's really hard and i keep stopping because there's other talking going on
Yeah, that's quite possibly auditory processing disorder. You're not alone! I get distracted enough by music. I *can* talk over it, the same way I could talk over someone else talking if I needed to, but in both instances it'd be pretty hard to ignore what they're saying, or to listen to it while talking, so yeah, I think I know what you mean. (Like how it's hard to listen to three conversations at once, but I can't tune any of them out either.) I'm more likely to be singing along... Even if it's only playing in my head...
My partner just recently discovered that she was autistic. I showed her your video and she that it was spot on! Thanks for taking the time to make this, it helped me understand the autistic brain much better
You explained it beautifully, thank you for this! My husband now has a better understanding of how the world is for me. I have sensitive hearing, vision and the sun is my enemy. Hearing when talking to someone, it needs to be quiet otherwise I get too distracted by the sounds around me. I also dislike chaotic music, no structure, no lyrics, it will be just 'noise' to me and it will drive me nuts. Also the sound that is repeated over and over again (like a car alarm etc or the bass of a song) will ultimately make me cry if I can't cancel it out. If there is too much going on visually I will need to close my eyes for a moment and breathe in and out, like on the bus when someone is moving in front me constantly (shifting their body, hand gestures, fiddle with their hair etc), and when it is too bright, I always have my sunglasses even on a cloudy day (that is sometimes too bright as well, I put them on when I notice that I squint). Thank you for explaining how we feel and how we perceive the environment around us. Well done. 😊
@@TransistorSounds You definitely helped. He is also a DJ and makes synth music, so he understood this better than any other explanation. Keep being awesome ☺️
i don't think its fair to say autistic people have the connections or dials wrong, just different. it is beneficial in some cases, and a society built to support a different certain set of neurologies would think that its correct.
i definitely relate to this. i’m sure i had some connections set wrong from birth but the most noticeable ones have been the ones that changed later in life. sensitivity to cold among other things is a seizure trigger, like noise between areas of the brain, i gained conscious control over part of the visual system related to smoothing out where you look, which lets me look around without moving my eyes, and some bit of perception of cells around blood vessels got turned on and while idk if i can feel pressure, i can feel magnetism (with varying sensitivity depending on how long it’s been). but also more common autism stuff like food texture.
i got a friend who autistic he thinks his thoughts are facts noting he comes out with has any basis in fact and thus most of what he coming out with has no footing in reality he delusional he get confused of the most simplest of thing and as a result can confuses other in the process he likes to think he intelligent but he not
This seems like a pretty deep and complex question... First off, if you suspect someone is autistic (or, for that matter, any other kind of neurodivergent), should you tell them? If they don't already know, then you might be saving them from spending their whole life thinking they're a broken neurotypical person rather than a regular person of their actual neurotype. But on the other hand, "Great news, I think you're disabled and don't realise!" can take a long time to unpack and work through, involving perhaps months of unlearning internalised ableism, masking, and shame for who you are. This is especially difficult because each person will have their own amount of difficulty coming to terms with who they are, and it's hard to guess what that'll be without telling them. During a sort of manic week of not being able to sleep and dredging up a lifetime's worth of memories that suddenly made sense in this new context, I think I pretty quickly decided not to be ashamed of who I was anymore and kind of embraced being neurodivergent, and a while later, disabled as an extension of that. But there's people I can't talk to about it that much (despite autism now clearly being a special interest of mine) because they very understandably don't want to hear me harp on about how they too are disabled and isn't it nice to finally have a vocabulary and explanations for all this stuff we've been dealing with. I have a tendency to openly talk about being neurodivergent, and if others realise their own experience is similar, hopefully I can help them realise they're not alone. This might work as a strategy if you yourself are neurodivergent, as then you're only talking about them if they're open to it, otherwise you're just talking about your own experiences, not questioning theirs. Though I'm probably not very good at this -- subtlety was never my strong suit. Quite separate to that is whether you should, and how you could, get better at spotting possibly neurodivergent people. It's one of those things where once you know which aspects of yourself are traits, you start to get a sense of when someone else has a good few of them too. For me, I think I simply realise "Hey, I really like this person, we just click -- *oh*." Because I don't gel with allistic people. It's hard work. Whereas with other autistic people there'll quite often be chemistry for better or worse. Someone I'll either politely disagree with back and forth at great length, or want to be friends with them, depending on how much we agree on things. But in terms of getting a sense of who might be autistic, it's anyone who does a lot of things that, for any one of them, allistic people *might* do it, but for lots of them together, that's really improbable. If someone can only get work done when "wired in" listening to loud music, it *might* be that they can't filter out the office chitchat or the radio, and would really benefit from noise-cancelling headphones. If someone has headaches all the time, they might often be overstimulated. If people often call them "blunt" and "arrogant" because they never use implicatures (hints), just saying the truth directly and correcting people when they're wrong, then they're probably not arrogant at all, and just trying to be helpful. If their tone of voice suggests they're complaining all the time, but their words themselves don't, then they're quite possibly trying to just join in pointing things out, unaware that they sound depressed to other people. Basically, if you yourself are autistic, you can try to casually mention some of the things you struggle with and how surprised you were to discover most people don't have to struggle with them, it just comes naturally to them. Then if they ask you more about it, tell them, and if they don't, leave it. If you're not autistic, I'm not sure how you'd subtly bring it up, besides using a "white lie" to put it in the third person about a friend or family member... but then, if you're allistic, you'll probably be fine with white lies and erring on the side of too much subtlety anyway. I hope that helps! Sorry it was a bit rambly.
The thing with hearing in noisy environments may also be a 'filter' setting, where i hear all the people speak in a crowded room and can't filter out the conversation i'm supposed to be part of, looking at them helps as i can see the lips move and then correlate that with the appropriate voice.
Yes! I can hear all the conversations and the TV equally, but I'm too polite to ask them to turn the TV off that no-one's watching (even though the background music on the TV show's really distracting because it's a ripoff of a film score that came out a few years ago that I really like)...
I've tried lipreading more lately. Thankfully no-one's mistaken me looking at their mouth for being sexually interested in them, which I hear is a thing. It's like you really can't do anything without it being misread as pragmatics, but that's a whole other conversation!
I think a lot of my problems boil down to "I can't ignore unimportant things."
@@TransistorSounds The settings for the priority filter are off, indeed in a room with talking people and a tv that's got the sound on is distracting as ***
I don't know much about synthesizers or sound design, but the algorithm knew I would like this, so now I'm catching up on your neurodivergence videos. Fascinating and relatable. Thank you so much for sharing.
damn youtube really is suggesting the good stuff today. explaining autism with a modular setup. amazing video.
I never realized light sensitivity might be related to my autism! I just thought having blue eyes made me ridiculously sensitive (and yes, the blackout curtains help a lot!)
I've brown, nearly black eyes and I get light induced migraines, it's definitely related!
I wouldnt call that a hazy explanation at all! Made sense to me. I'm really glad you made this video. I've recently been diagnosed level 1 after living most my life thinking i've only had severe adhd, and learning more about the nuances of autism really helps me figure things out!
Thank you!
this was very helpful. i've read about this before, but this explanation made it "click" into place and now i *get* it :)
Yay, glad to help!
just wanna say, very cool how you are using your modular as a way to better example what you are saying!
Thank you. Wow. I never heard of 'Auditory processing disorder'. I did some simple tests online and I really struggled to make out what people were saying. I couldn't answer the simplest of questions about what was described in the audio. I've been like this my whole life - I just thought it was 'one of those things'. If I'm in a noisy place, I can't hear what people are saying, and yet everyone else seems to have no problem with conversations. I can hear every detail in music without any problems.
Interesting, I went to college with people that wore ear protection all the time when outside. So maybe I know why now. Thanks
thank you
This is amazing. Thank you so much sharing. As a fellow synth player and programmer I appreciate the analogy.
That was quite interesting and well illustrated. Thank you for sharing. It gives me quite a bit of insight with some of the relationships I have.
Thank you for explaining why everyone says I am deaf and I need subtitles on the television for conversation, and yet some noises literally hurt my ears - birdsong in particular pains me!
Sometimes I think I'm not that bad and maybe I'm just imagining it, then I remember you're the exact same and I inherited it from you, so that's actually helped me get over the imposter syndrome somewhat. ❤️
That, and when I finally ventured outside to see Oppenheimer at the cinema, I got a debilitating headache from the volume, and still couldn't work out some of the lines...
Wheezing at this only for the fact I am also trans and autistic and have attempted to use modular synthesis to explain how autism feels to a friend lmao. I've described it like you're trying to use uninsulated cables and so the cables making contact causes interference and I am very bad at cable management so trying to reroute a cable means a lot of things are going to bump and cause wayward mental reactions I guess is a way to phrase it. I have the same hypersensitivity to sound you are describing so it's weird I ended up with music production as a hobby but maybe it's beneficial too. I think your analogy works very well, great vid!
Ha, thanks! Ooh, I didn't think about the lack of insulation, that might better explain the crosstalk and synaesthesia (though I think myelin does insulate axons, but in short segments with gaps between them, so yeah, maybe you do get crosstalk there?)...
I think being very aware of sounds and being into sound design and music production makes a lot of sense, I think that's more the reason why rather than it being despite that. Between the lack of filtering and hearing sounds so well, we're going to be pretty consciously aware of more of the sounds throughout the mix. Like I'll hear people say "I really like this song!" but not "Oh, huh, the snare drum sample alternates between two slightly different pitches, that's a nice touch!"
I'm always amazed at how many trans autists you find in musical instrument shops and synth meetups... 😄
this is a beautiful description of something I've struggled to describe for a long time. thank you! :)
As a fellow musician on the spectrum, that was a truly evocative explanation!
chemoception, thermoception, chromaception, lumaception, proprioception, audioception, acceleroception
have i got all of them? i know taste is subtly different from chemoception, and chroma and luma are usually put together, maybe audioception is maybe more accurately baroception?
This is easily the most satisfying explanation I've come across thus far. I've wondered at times whether I'm autistic myself, and I definitely have some traits (possibly APD, used to have trouble with hidden meanings "why don't you just say what you mean!?", was The Weird Kid at class, feel my emotions too strongly at times, used to be scared of loud sounds, get really deeply into my interests) but I always feel like I'm only halfway there, you know? Oh, and synesthesia too but I don't know how relevant that is. Still, great video and loved the analogy with the dials. ♥
Synaesthesia's pretty common amongst autistic people, so I'd say it's relevant! It's definitely worth pursuing as a possibility. As shocking as it is, neurotypical people generally tend not to find multiple autistic traits relatable. 😅 Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad I could help!
This is sick, thanks Zoë!
Shoutout to youtube synth synaesthete Hainbach. Dude feels timbre in his fingertips.
Ooh, I don't think I've heard of that variant before. They're all so fascinating, cheers! I must admit, I'm pretty jealous of "proper" synaesthetes. I can't see or feel music or anything, I just know which digits are which colour, which... doesn't help me much. 😅
Hey, being an autistic trans gal myself too (with strong suspicions of coexisting ADHD), I can totally relate :)
Ah, someone I vaguely remember for once! Typesetting as well, I believe?
@@TransistorSounds yes, Monotype technology, at least back in my Book Art Museum days :). I mainly do electronics - vacuum tubes and semiconductors alike. I'm into some space and science nerdiness, a bit of programming, gaming and graphic design, and I'm also fond of '70s...'90s alternative music and fashions :)
@@artisans8521 there was more to it than it seems - not just manual, but hot metal typesetting too. Linotype, Intertype, Monotype... And speaking of computers, industry started using them for typesetting even in the '60s - the result was fed into the typecasting machine. Linotype/Intertype required control attachments for that (though late Linotype models such as Elektron had those features from the get go), and Monotype needed an electromechanical perforator for its original 31-channel tape system.
'50s...'70s were a "weird" transition period when both hot metal typesetting and phototypesetting co-existed, the latter being the new technology evolved from the old hot metal machines, with some parts replaced. Look at a Monophoto filmsetter, and you'll already see some components you could find on a Monotype composition caster - and some replaced for the process. There'll still be a matrix case, but instead of bronze matrices for casting, they'll be plastic and allow light to shine through to expose the photosensitive paper. The matrix case's positioning mechanism will still be familiar though.
Yeah, you sound like you'd probably get along with my partner and I. 😄
@@TransistorSounds ha! Girls like us stick together. IIRC you're with @ninarichards, right?
5:25 - oh my goodness that's so much of what I suffer when out in even slightly noisy social situations. I can't help but feel the trade off is an acute enjoyment of sounds and music. That's just pure speculation though.
Yeah, on the one hand a lot of environments are too loud and chaotic and I need to wear noise-cancelling headphones, yet I can't tell what people are saying quite often... but on the other hand my partner and I can get excited about a cool sound together, and make lots of music. My music's also pretty heavily sound design focused too.
I've gotten distracted in a shop many times because they're playing a song in the background that seemingly no-one else notices, and I'm waiting to quietly sing along with the overdub that's about to kick in...
Yeah, I have an encyclopaedic knowledge of synthesisers, yet don't know who any of my neighbours are. 😅
Very well put. Suscribed.
i can relate really well to the "hear stuff a lot, but have a hard time translating the sound of speech into words" thing. when i'm sitting in a group with friends or playing a game together, sometimes someone suggests turning on some music, but i'm always the one saying "no" - if there's music playing, i'm going to struggle understanding the talking.
also on a related note, do you also have the experience of not being able to talk over music yourself? to me it's kind of like talking over someone else talking, it's really hard and i keep stopping because there's other talking going on
Yeah, that's quite possibly auditory processing disorder. You're not alone!
I get distracted enough by music. I *can* talk over it, the same way I could talk over someone else talking if I needed to, but in both instances it'd be pretty hard to ignore what they're saying, or to listen to it while talking, so yeah, I think I know what you mean. (Like how it's hard to listen to three conversations at once, but I can't tune any of them out either.) I'm more likely to be singing along... Even if it's only playing in my head...
That was very very helpful 💛 Thank you 😊
My partner just recently discovered that she was autistic. I showed her your video and she that it was spot on! Thanks for taking the time to make this, it helped me understand the autistic brain much better
Thank you!
You explained it beautifully, thank you for this! My husband now has a better understanding of how the world is for me.
I have sensitive hearing, vision and the sun is my enemy.
Hearing when talking to someone, it needs to be quiet otherwise I get too distracted by the sounds around me. I also dislike chaotic music, no structure, no lyrics, it will be just 'noise' to me and it will drive me nuts. Also the sound that is repeated over and over again (like a car alarm etc or the bass of a song) will ultimately make me cry if I can't cancel it out.
If there is too much going on visually I will need to close my eyes for a moment and breathe in and out, like on the bus when someone is moving in front me constantly (shifting their body, hand gestures, fiddle with their hair etc), and when it is too bright, I always have my sunglasses even on a cloudy day (that is sometimes too bright as well, I put them on when I notice that I squint).
Thank you for explaining how we feel and how we perceive the environment around us. Well done. 😊
Wow, thank you, I'm glad I could help a bit! ❤️
@@TransistorSounds You definitely helped. He is also a DJ and makes synth music, so he understood this better than any other explanation. Keep being awesome ☺️
i don't think its fair to say autistic people have the connections or dials wrong, just different. it is beneficial in some cases, and a society built to support a different certain set of neurologies would think that its correct.
i definitely relate to this. i’m sure i had some connections set wrong from birth but the most noticeable ones have been the ones that changed later in life. sensitivity to cold among other things is a seizure trigger, like noise between areas of the brain, i gained conscious control over part of the visual system related to smoothing out where you look, which lets me look around without moving my eyes, and some bit of perception of cells around blood vessels got turned on and while idk if i can feel pressure, i can feel magnetism (with varying sensitivity depending on how long it’s been). but also more common autism stuff like food texture.
i got a friend who autistic he thinks his thoughts are facts
noting he comes out with has any basis in fact and thus most of what he coming out with has no footing in reality he delusional he get confused of the most simplest of thing and as a result can confuses other in the process he likes to think he intelligent but he not
how can you tell if your friend is autistic without asking them and who might not realize it?
This seems like a pretty deep and complex question... First off, if you suspect someone is autistic (or, for that matter, any other kind of neurodivergent), should you tell them? If they don't already know, then you might be saving them from spending their whole life thinking they're a broken neurotypical person rather than a regular person of their actual neurotype. But on the other hand, "Great news, I think you're disabled and don't realise!" can take a long time to unpack and work through, involving perhaps months of unlearning internalised ableism, masking, and shame for who you are.
This is especially difficult because each person will have their own amount of difficulty coming to terms with who they are, and it's hard to guess what that'll be without telling them. During a sort of manic week of not being able to sleep and dredging up a lifetime's worth of memories that suddenly made sense in this new context, I think I pretty quickly decided not to be ashamed of who I was anymore and kind of embraced being neurodivergent, and a while later, disabled as an extension of that. But there's people I can't talk to about it that much (despite autism now clearly being a special interest of mine) because they very understandably don't want to hear me harp on about how they too are disabled and isn't it nice to finally have a vocabulary and explanations for all this stuff we've been dealing with.
I have a tendency to openly talk about being neurodivergent, and if others realise their own experience is similar, hopefully I can help them realise they're not alone. This might work as a strategy if you yourself are neurodivergent, as then you're only talking about them if they're open to it, otherwise you're just talking about your own experiences, not questioning theirs. Though I'm probably not very good at this -- subtlety was never my strong suit.
Quite separate to that is whether you should, and how you could, get better at spotting possibly neurodivergent people. It's one of those things where once you know which aspects of yourself are traits, you start to get a sense of when someone else has a good few of them too. For me, I think I simply realise "Hey, I really like this person, we just click -- *oh*." Because I don't gel with allistic people. It's hard work. Whereas with other autistic people there'll quite often be chemistry for better or worse. Someone I'll either politely disagree with back and forth at great length, or want to be friends with them, depending on how much we agree on things.
But in terms of getting a sense of who might be autistic, it's anyone who does a lot of things that, for any one of them, allistic people *might* do it, but for lots of them together, that's really improbable. If someone can only get work done when "wired in" listening to loud music, it *might* be that they can't filter out the office chitchat or the radio, and would really benefit from noise-cancelling headphones. If someone has headaches all the time, they might often be overstimulated. If people often call them "blunt" and "arrogant" because they never use implicatures (hints), just saying the truth directly and correcting people when they're wrong, then they're probably not arrogant at all, and just trying to be helpful. If their tone of voice suggests they're complaining all the time, but their words themselves don't, then they're quite possibly trying to just join in pointing things out, unaware that they sound depressed to other people.
Basically, if you yourself are autistic, you can try to casually mention some of the things you struggle with and how surprised you were to discover most people don't have to struggle with them, it just comes naturally to them. Then if they ask you more about it, tell them, and if they don't, leave it. If you're not autistic, I'm not sure how you'd subtly bring it up, besides using a "white lie" to put it in the third person about a friend or family member... but then, if you're allistic, you'll probably be fine with white lies and erring on the side of too much subtlety anyway.
I hope that helps! Sorry it was a bit rambly.
I hope you're going easier on yourself now!