Hitman | Noobus Humanus
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- Опубликовано: 2 авг 2024
- I made my fiancee play Hitman for the first time - and it went how you'd expect.
LORE DUMP
• What the hell happened...
TWITTER
/ montyzander
PATREON
/ montyzander
TIMESTAMPS
0:00:00 - Introduction and Rules
0:01:57 - Confidence is Key
0:07:00 - Kaboom
0:13:26 - I Know the Owner
0:25:19 - Slaughter in Sapienza
0:33:55 - A Clean Slate
I MADE MY FIANCEE PLAY RESIDENT EVIL
• Resident Evil | Noobus...
I MADE MY FIANCEE PLAY HOLLOW KNIGHT
• Hollow Knight | Noobus...
I MADE MY FIANCEE PLAY APEX LEGENDS
• Apex Legends | Noobus ...
I MADE MY GIRLFRIEND PLAY ELDEN RING
• Elden Ring | Noobus Hu...
VARIOUS COVERS ARE USED THROUGHOUT
The Acapella Songs come from
• James Bond 007 OST (ac...
Don't Fear the Reaper - Synthwave Remix comes from Altered State
• Blue Öyster Cult - (Do...
MUSIC (IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE)
1) The Spy Who Kicked Me - Rayman Legends
2) Menu Pause Music - Goldeneye 007
3) Nick Poss - Heist
4) Secret Agent T - T Bless & The Professionals
5) James Bond Theme (Acapella) - MayTree
6) The Gangster's Lair (Chase) - Pink Panther: Pinkadelic Pursuit
7) Paris By Rooftops (Bentley) - Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time
8) Action VR Training - Secret Agent Barbie
9) Dive Another Day - Rayman Legends
10) City Battle Theme - Looney Tunes: World of Mayhem
11) Evelyns House - MySims Agents
12) Multiplayer 13 - Goldeneye 007
13) Control - Goldeneye 007 (Remastered)
14) Don't Fear The Reaper: Blue Oyster Cult (Synth Instrumental) - Altered State
15) Snake Eater (Instrumental) - Metal Gear Solid 3
16) Main Titles - Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
17) Pink Panther Theme - MayTree 
Игры
![NoCap - Maliboo [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/FUV7E0QyniU/mqdefault.jpg)
Thanks for being here! If you enjoyed it, my podcast - Lore Dump - might be up your street!
It's the show where we take someone who hasn't played a game and walk them through the full story. We've covered Kingdom Hearts, Metal Gear, and recently we started covering the Remedyverse - Alan Wake, Control etc.
Lore Dump - Alan Wake: ruclips.net/video/QVyO4qRH5NE/видео.html&ab_channel=LoreDump
Please: let her play OUTLAST, Nioh, or Cuphead! Pleaseeee! Thanks! 😂
I hope you have her play again, but introduce her to all the silly costumes you can wear. Like the Flamingo suit at the race track level.
Honestly I love how Monty is using any opportunity to remind us that he wants to marry the Noobus
It's my periodic reminder to not ask if she's single 😍
We just need the Noobus to set up a Sims wedding with Monty and ******* (noobus) like characters and we can all be witnesses. I think Noobus would like that
Update: He did!!!!
One day Monty's gonna drop "I made my wife play" in a Noobus Humanus vid with zero fanfare, I'm calling it now.
It's gone from "I made my girlfriend play" to "I made my fiance play" the next will be "I politely asked my wife to play"
As of today with outer wilds, "I made my wife play"
Honestly being able to destroy the virus on what is your first time in the underground lab is very impressive. Noobus might not be a noob for much longer...
Feels so stupid to post something like this online but I just wanted to say thank you for your videos. I've been going through a break up and your long form videos have provided a great deal of comfort during what has been a pretty difficult time in my life. The quality of your videos is astounding, I have no idea how your channel hasn't exploded as it's genuinely one of the best I've come across when it comes to video game critiques and analysis. From one stranger on the internet to another I just wanted to let you know all the effort and work you put into your content has helped at least one person find some light amongst the dark. Wishing you all the success you deserve man.
That fucking sucks dude - I’m so sorry! Glad these can cheer you up
@@MontyZander Thanks man. Means a lot you'd take the time to reply to this when you didn't have to :)
The fact this series doesn’t have millions of views blows my mind every time there’s a new episode!! It always brings such joy to me and puts a smile on my face it reminds me of when I was a teenager showing my girlfriend how to play video games and the joy I felt when she would get invested in what I was playing/doing
This is so wholesome lol
I like how the noobus just accepted her deaths like "yup, im caught, this is happening"
Every single time I see one of those "First time playing" videos I hope somebody will show them how easy and fun it can be when you know what you are doing at the end.
Always interesting to see a game you know well being experienced for the first time. I'd forgotten how much had changed since Hitman 2016 in terms of the UI and mechanics. Good stuff, and well done Noobus!
I love your content man. Whether it’s these fun non-gamer playing games videos or your deep dives into the Arkham games, I feel you provide such a niche entertainment that just resonates with me.
I honestly enjoy the story missions in the Hitman games very much. They give you an easy way to get to know a map, what there is to do and places to explore, aswell as easy access to disguises. Not only that but once you get more familiar with a level you can use them to manipulate targets. For example getting the lawyer in bangkok up to his penthouse can be used as a setup for a lot of funny shenanigans. Or the fireworks in paris to get a somewhat easy sniper kill on both targets. Of course just following the dotted line and then moving on is not fun in the long run but I think players tend to naturally stray away from that layed out path once they get more familiar with the game mechanics.
EDIT: Opportunities not story missions upsies
Agreed
What makes this game great is that you can spend hours on a single level and still come back to find new and crazier ways to kill a target.
I was in a conversation with my girlfriend today about what game she wanted to try now that’s she’s done with MGSV. Wolfenstein was a close second and Hitman was first. I was in the middle of explaining how a Sims Sadist like her would enjoy it when I got the notification for this video. Small world. Hell yeah
It's rather strange watching someone play Hitman 2016 not inside Hitman III. It's rather nostalgic.
It's rather strange remembering this came out nearly 8 years ago.
*Carries a machine gun on her back*
"I'm not suspicious"
I'M DYING!!!! LOL
im actually impressed that she was able to use the mini map on the first mission... i dont even think I noticed that you could see npcs on the minimap until i was a good 20 hours in
Ooooooh the second Don’t Fear the Reaper started playing I felt the badass factor start to increase exponentially with every note.
Excellent as always, I thought the Noobus did fabulously!
the absolute PERFECt reaction to beeing able to be the model in the Paris level.
I can't wait to get home to be able to fully watch instead of just listening.
Can't believe I'm early for once! I usually end up finding the noobus episodes months later! I love that she's trying out more variety of games now
Everybody talks about how they love sapienza so much but I’m with the fiancée on this one. I have gotten every possible “achievement” in the Paris mission including doing the entire mission in my suit and never being spotted. That level is my favorite by far. I find sapienza super annoying. It feels like there’s so many people in the level that will see through your disguise and like, isn’t that supposed to be the point of the games? I tried to get into that level but every time I play, I get more and more frustrated by it
The amount of times I say "I'll have a wee wander" now while playing games is ridiculous
Monty! Happy days when there is a Noobus video out! What a surprise! This is dinnertime viewing. Many thanks for the upload dude
These videos are always a joy to watch.
Cheers
This is the BEST of these types of vids. Kudos. You two are great. 😚👌
The Hitman Assassination Trilogy as a whole was my favorite game of the 8th generation. Love this video
I love watching new people play hitman it's so much fun!
This video was so much fun to watch, thank you monty! I'm going through a hard time and this was just what i needed it. By the way, your fiancèe is the best
Omg Noobus is such a delight!!!!! Looove this series, especially since I'm not much of a gamer this is like a legit window into what my own experience might be like hahahaha!!!
Loving the branching out into new games! If you ever get to it I’d love to see the noobus try a deathloop / return and reset type game and how she plans ahead 😁
Great video as usual!!
Pretty impressive, wonder how Noobus would do in the following 2 games, perhaps you could even reach out to some of the speedrunners to teach noobus?
Love hitman very much, and your content seems incredibly interesting. Subscribed
Monty and Noobus, I feel like “Vanquish” might be a blast for this series!
I love this channel so much
As someone who loves Hitman but absolutly does not gell with the menanics most of the time - I felt this, so hard :P Also, nice cuts, video style keeps getting better! This doubles as a romcom wiht updates on the relationship :D all the best!
It's always a pleasure to look at Noobus videos. Congrats for your future marriage ;)
this was sooo entertaining - i've got one of the new hitman's sitting unplayed from scooping it up in a sale and im definitely gonna have to play this with my partner too, seems like a hilarious game to play with someone next to you XD
Love these vids 😂she's so cool. FYI, I love Hitman, and funny enough, I find it really relaxing, lol 😅
Noobus Hitmanus!! Love this series, both the game and the video
HELL YEAH NEW NOOBUS HUMANUS EPISODE
Not gonna lie, seeing the OG UI was very jarring for me. I think the overall user experience is massively improved in Hitman 3, including the menu (though it's still uses the grid based system).
Love all the Noobus videos lol
I'm a simple man. When I see Noobus Humanus, I click and automatically like.
Thank you It was fun to watch your video I love it please make more
I’m surprised this was done in the OG Hitman 2016, when Hitman 3’s entire WOA trilogy version has polished up a lot of the mechanics of the game (And made gunfights more enjoyable). But damn this was so entertaining!
Noobus is amazing, I love all of these.
I started Hitman with Absolution too, and I just, gave it up, then watching Outside Xbox in 18 convinced me to give the new trilogy a try, and I was hooked. I also love how you can play the game straight, perfectly planning the ultimste hit to kill a target without anybody knowing you were there, or grabbing explosives, shouting YOLO and going full mike ending up with a level covered in Chaos. Fun games
Yesssssss, my favorite couple on YT is back babyyyyyyyyyyy
A hitman video? Showing off how fun it is too? You're really twisting my arm here, guess I have no choice but to re-install it and play through the entire trilogy again
Freelancer is so much fun.
Great avatars as usual Monty
Hell yeah, more Noobus
Hitman POGGERS
Ive liked most of this series ever since i first played it on ps2 with blood money
Audible gasp when I read the thumbnail, congrats to the both of you, love the content, even my wife likes watching you two, a word of advice, if you're not eloping.....HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER!!!
Awesome guys
I would watch a whole play through of you 2 playing this
The menus messed me up so much as well! I couldn't figure out how to just start the game. 😂
No wonder you are so in love with Noobus, she is absolutely friggin hilarious.
The expired spaghetti attack has no business being as satisfying as it is.
I love this series. Watched most of ‘em…. Got to call you out though…… you helped her. Told her to look up and notice the chandeliers…… I’ve never played Hitman. I don’t know what that switch does. I probably would have just pulled it, myself…..
I can just picture after all that time getting to and through the fashion show only to get caught for smashing a chandelier on no one…….
Priceless
My wife doesn't play the game, but she often sits by and comments while I play. She says she likes to watch.
Oh and congrats future Mr and Mrs Zanders.
37:00 ty for the mgs music, and great run!!
this was hilarious and so much fun
To the top Monty!
Noobus playing Hitman? Count me in!
I wonder how willing she'd be to try to finish Dark Souls 1. That would be incredible to watch!
Love how she's responding to games outside of Fromsoft tho. Love the content man! Keep it coming🖤
Another video to add to my fav and i watch it till i know it like the back of my hand list.
Can't wait to see more of these, maybe it takes two or a way out next?
Got 2 more planned for the rest of the year - the wedding’s come up so we need to work around them. But we’re going to look at a certain roguelike next 👀
@@MontyZander omg, congratulations, wish you both an amazing wedding and can't wait to see your next videos. They are awesome, entertaining and such a joy to watch through.
"I'm a classy bald man" lmao
this was great! I wanna see her do the Berlin level from Hitman 3 hahah :D
more Monty and Noobus, good day
Watching this peeing myself laughing like I’m with you guys 😭
AND IT'S NOOBUS WITH THE SHOVEL!!!
13:43 I love the Sly Cooper reference. It is my favourite game of all time and barely anyone knows it :(
Just downloaded a PS3 Emulator on my Computer last week for my next Sly 2 Playthrough. Once a year is a must for me
I’d say play Hitman WoA (hitman 3) as it has every map from the trilogy AND has updated mechanics which make it easier to kill for newer plays (e.g: the default ICA baller (the gun your fiancé uses) has more accuracy and can headshot from further away. Also icons and the UI is heavily updated so you know what happened if something goes wrong.) hitman 1’s UI is extremely outdated. Hitman WoA also gives 3 difficulties, casual being the easiest and would prevent her getting shot when she bumps someone, it also updates the ICA facility Tutorial to a more modern version, giving more options, hints, and pop ups.
Finally!!!!! These videos where she plays are fucking brilliant
The new Hitman games are literally chefs kiss perfect
I’d love to see the Noobus try Shadow of the Colossus
I feel like those Noobus Humanus episodes are gonna run out of steam, cause your fiancee definitely isn't a noob anymore
"I'll have a wee wander" the game
Noobus "Waifus-to-be" is at it again and stoopid RUclips didn't notify me (although I hit the bell long time ago...)
She has the most denial I've ever seen! Good luck in your marriage.
Ahhh that MGS3 music hit so hard at that point in the video
Spaghettin' it done.
I like how she was afraid of running, back in silent assassin you would get smoked the second 47 did as much as a jog.
I was wondering if she would just follow the objective markers aswell or if they maybe would turn that feature off in the settings after the first real map to se if she could improvise abit. Writing this 1/3 into the video so dont know if they eventually turn it off.
It would be intresting to se how she would react to Hitmans Freelancer mode. With how hard it can be and the fact that she wont se more then 2 maps most likly before trying it i cant se it working out very well if they happen to try it.
EDIT: I did about the same the first time i played this Hitman and until u learn how to attract guards into safe areas or atleast get a feel for the map the game can be brutal for sure.
13:33 Pity hitman doesnt allow you to play as a classy lady as well. Would open up so many more options... She's got a point!
YES!! ❤
Ahhh My another favorite game
This is the earliest I've ever been, lol.
This is the best
Somehow, turning the perfectly-choreographed 'accidents' of kills into comedy is not as good as the slapstick of the absolute pratfalling goof that NH turns 47 into. The Paris adventures of The World's Very Worst Hitman Ever are just perfect.
Ladies and gentlemen
I present to you... The Noobus Humanua
Game publishers/devs or whoever seem to have forgot how fun gaming together is , ,i know this isn't couch co op but it just shows the fun to be had gaming together .
The Noobus Hitmanus
It’s good to see another following the tradition as the butcher of Sapienza
Last time I played hitman I ended up bruteforcing my way through the "situs inversus" mission with a machinegun bcs I got so frustrated and annoyed
" I think they called me 47"
* that's not name 😂
Welcome to the world of assassination Future-Mrs. Xander
As an avid gamer with tens of thousands if not even over 100k hours playing pretty much every genre that there is ... I can agree 100% on the Hitman 2016 menu being ATROCIOUS
It's the epitome of Design Over Function to appeal visually, instead of being actually functional to a point it's a menu one can enjoy ... don't get me wrong, love Hitman (all classics and also the new stuff) but this menu needs to be killed with fire, NOW
Oh and using Snakeeater as background theme for her infiltration gave me goosebumps ... I LOVE that ladder-Scene =)