S1- im so glad those kids have OP and her husband. What we were being told was bad enough, so to know it is worse than they even knew is concerning. S2- OP was being very open minded, and he has *already* compromised. He was willing to try things while supporting her feelings and maintaining his own boundaries. Hes not an AH at all, and she needs to find someone who fits what she's looking for. S3- OP needs to just stop interacting with her mom.
Story #2 - I'm proud of OP, he made the right call. Disclaimer: Long post, if you have trouble reading, just skip it, lol. If it's any consolation, when she is claiming she's "dissatisfied" with their sex life, a lot of guys will assume that means "physically". It usually doesn't. The physical aspects is pretty straight forward. Friction is friction. If she says "faster", go faster, "slower" and you go slower. The positions are all fairly intuitive. That's not what disappoints her. There are two other factors, and these are where most couples struggle. • Emotional connection to their partner. Seems like this wasn't the problem either, as they both clearly care for each other. • The "Experience". This is more abstract. It's the tone of the encounter, the kind of feelings the individual encounter itself evokes. It can be much harder to articulate and harder to empathize with. This is where they are failing as a couple. And I say "They", because it takes two. If it's not working between two people the blame is pretty evenly distributed. It's unfair of her to push all accountability for her feelings onto him. That makes her seem very immature. I'm guessing she likes the chase. Getting to know new people, the flirting, the mystery they represent, not knowing what will happen next. She's an "adventure girl". Nothing wrong with that. There are many ways to satisfy those needs within a monogamous relationship. • Toys - a wider variety of physical sensations. • Roleplay - assume a different persona to give her someone new to explore with, all without going outside of the relationship. A lot of people find that playing as a different person even helps them better understand themselves. It's a healthy activity, in and out of the bedroom. • Adult Films - Actually watch others and enjoy some things vicariously. • VR - This one is a homerun with most women. They don't know they like it until they try it. Put on some POV adult content, and then you do to them what the person in the video is doing to them. It's very immersive that way. They can experience different partners, settings, scenarios, all within the safety of the relationship and the privacy of the bedroom. • Extramarital Improv - This combines roleplay with swinging, minus the sex. Couples "swap" for a date-night, but to prevent any emotional attachments forming, each plays a different persona, so the person they're getting to know isn't real and is always interesting. Then you return home to your partner once you're worked up. Often people swap naughty videos of themselves while still in character as their persona, to be enjoyed later by the other respective couple. And not all of these are suitable for everyone, you have to do what both are comfortable with. But any of these (or a combination) can feed some of her desires in a way that doesn't cross any lines. However, she is fixated on swinging and polyamory. She's not willing to settle for anything else. Rather than try to be creative and come up with fun solutions, she's digging her heels in and gaslighting or guilt-tripping, even shaming him to get her way. She's selfish. The commentor who claimed she was using OP as a "Safety Net" was absolutely correct. Very well said. To be Clear: Her desires DO NOT make her a bad partner, but the emotional manipulation, lack of empathy and lack of respect by which she pursues them absolutely does. At best, she's just too emotionally immature for such a relationship. But that's a deal-breaker now. Reverse the genders. How undignified are men who beg for something in the bedroom, then berate their partner for not appeasing them? They're pathetic. How many times are we told "No mans No", and not to push a woman into anything sexually she is not comfortable with? That's a very good rule, but it works both ways. She is not an exception to that, but she honestly thinks she is. That's why he can't be with her. She doesn't want to be a "partner" to him, she's just along for the ride in this relationship. Rather than showing a desire to grow with him, she just expects to be catered to. There's no mutual respect. Either she'll break up with him eventually, or she'll cheat on him, or she will just resent him. Every potential outcome ends badly. There's nothing to salvage there. There's no need to hate each other or make this a bad break-up. They just want different things and will both be happier with a partner who wants the same things they do. Move on without resentment or regret. This relationship has taught you what you do and don't want, and that information can now be applied in your next relationship, and will make it that much better. Breaking up always sucks, but in most cases, it's still a win-win proposition in the long run.
1) Absolutely report the child abuse. Your SIL acts like she has Stockholm Syndrome, but also participated in the abuse. Glad Reese got busted and Barbara too. 2) NEVER stay in a relationship with someone who wants an open relationship unless both want it. They are very rarely successful. It's better to breakup and move on. Compromise that breaks boundaries on either side are dealbreakers. Last story wasn't worth the read.
Damn story 3 is legit my mom and family. I left and never looked back. Unfortunately due to my health issues my mom is back in my life. It’s slow going but hopefully things will improve.
You too eh mate? I was literally hearing echoes of me own mum in the one from story 3 meself. Typical narcissist behavior really, someone calls them out on their shite? You better believe they're gonna try and turn it back on whoever called them out and try to pin whatever went wrong on them instead. S'why I'm proudly NC with her, was just too much BS to deal with, but now that she no-longer lives with me(I'm on the lease for the house, along with my aunt. Mum wanted off it as soon as she found another place to shit up), and i'm feelin' fine and flyin' free!
omg the third story reminds me of my mom. never bothered to check and see if anything was wrong with me, refused to take me to a dentist (despite me complaining of tooth pain and crying when I tried to brush my teeth for over a year) until I was 17, neglected, abused (financially, emotionally, physically, verbally, psychologically, the works), made pain a competition, etc. then when I stopped talking to her or telling her about my life, she always pulled the "you never spend time with me anymore, I'm so depressed" and got surprised when I left. now I have to get psychologically evaluated for autism, DID, and an eating disorder and have been diagnosed with PTSD, MDD, and GAD and have cervical lordosis and a screwed knee that will probably need to be replaced by the time I'm 35.
Lucy wants him to “take it in the end” literally. She wants to see him with a man and to use toys on him. He set his boundaries and after the she first brought up the topic he should have ended the relationship.
I disagree. Those boys will remember this and know going into adulthood that someone loved them enough to fight for them and didn't give up on them or look the other way. They will know as adults that, that is something that is not okay from a future partner.
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S1- im so glad those kids have OP and her husband. What we were being told was bad enough, so to know it is worse than they even knew is concerning.
S2- OP was being very open minded, and he has *already* compromised. He was willing to try things while supporting her feelings and maintaining his own boundaries. Hes not an AH at all, and she needs to find someone who fits what she's looking for.
S3- OP needs to just stop interacting with her mom.
My girl said I am nice and easy going, I guess I forgot that😂
Lol 😮😅😂
“But the rest of the family wants to ‘handle it internally’…” Yeah, because that’s working out so damn well. 🙄
S2: Lucy is s3xually abusiv3. Imagine if their genders were reversed, people would be calling that 💩 out.
Story 1: Reese is the reason ALL women should know how to defend themselves.
Assassin's creed wrist blades.
Lucy's range of kinks is waaaay above your comfort level. Get out of this relationship. You 2 are not compatible in any way.
There's compromise and then there's appeasement
Story #2 - I'm proud of OP, he made the right call.
Disclaimer: Long post, if you have trouble reading, just skip it, lol.
If it's any consolation, when she is claiming she's "dissatisfied" with their sex life, a lot of guys will assume that means "physically". It usually doesn't. The physical aspects is pretty straight forward. Friction is friction. If she says "faster", go faster, "slower" and you go slower. The positions are all fairly intuitive. That's not what disappoints her.
There are two other factors, and these are where most couples struggle.
• Emotional connection to their partner.
Seems like this wasn't the problem either, as they both clearly care for each other.
• The "Experience".
This is more abstract. It's the tone of the encounter, the kind of feelings the individual encounter itself evokes. It can be much harder to articulate and harder to empathize with. This is where they are failing as a couple.
And I say "They", because it takes two. If it's not working between two people the blame is pretty evenly distributed. It's unfair of her to push all accountability for her feelings onto him. That makes her seem very immature.
I'm guessing she likes the chase. Getting to know new people, the flirting, the mystery they represent, not knowing what will happen next. She's an "adventure girl". Nothing wrong with that. There are many ways to satisfy those needs within a monogamous relationship.
• Toys - a wider variety of physical sensations.
• Roleplay - assume a different persona to give her someone new to explore with, all without going outside of the relationship. A lot of people find that playing as a different person even helps them better understand themselves. It's a healthy activity, in and out of the bedroom.
• Adult Films - Actually watch others and enjoy some things vicariously.
• VR - This one is a homerun with most women. They don't know they like it until they try it. Put on some POV adult content, and then you do to them what the person in the video is doing to them. It's very immersive that way. They can experience different partners, settings, scenarios, all within the safety of the relationship and the privacy of the bedroom.
• Extramarital Improv - This combines roleplay with swinging, minus the sex. Couples "swap" for a date-night, but to prevent any emotional attachments forming, each plays a different persona, so the person they're getting to know isn't real and is always interesting. Then you return home to your partner once you're worked up. Often people swap naughty videos of themselves while still in character as their persona, to be enjoyed later by the other respective couple.
And not all of these are suitable for everyone, you have to do what both are comfortable with. But any of these (or a combination) can feed some of her desires in a way that doesn't cross any lines.
However, she is fixated on swinging and polyamory. She's not willing to settle for anything else. Rather than try to be creative and come up with fun solutions, she's digging her heels in and gaslighting or guilt-tripping, even shaming him to get her way. She's selfish. The commentor who claimed she was using OP as a "Safety Net" was absolutely correct. Very well said.
To be Clear:
Her desires DO NOT make her a bad partner, but the emotional manipulation, lack of empathy and lack of respect by which she pursues them absolutely does. At best, she's just too emotionally immature for such a relationship. But that's a deal-breaker now.
Reverse the genders. How undignified are men who beg for something in the bedroom, then berate their partner for not appeasing them? They're pathetic. How many times are we told "No mans No", and not to push a woman into anything sexually she is not comfortable with? That's a very good rule, but it works both ways. She is not an exception to that, but she honestly thinks she is.
That's why he can't be with her. She doesn't want to be a "partner" to him, she's just along for the ride in this relationship. Rather than showing a desire to grow with him, she just expects to be catered to. There's no mutual respect. Either she'll break up with him eventually, or she'll cheat on him, or she will just resent him. Every potential outcome ends badly. There's nothing to salvage there.
There's no need to hate each other or make this a bad break-up. They just want different things and will both be happier with a partner who wants the same things they do. Move on without resentment or regret. This relationship has taught you what you do and don't want, and that information can now be applied in your next relationship, and will make it that much better. Breaking up always sucks, but in most cases, it's still a win-win proposition in the long run.
1) Absolutely report the child abuse. Your SIL acts like she has Stockholm Syndrome, but also participated in the abuse. Glad Reese got busted and Barbara too.
2) NEVER stay in a relationship with someone who wants an open relationship unless both want it. They are very rarely successful. It's better to breakup and move on. Compromise that breaks boundaries on either side are dealbreakers.
Last story wasn't worth the read.
Damn story 3 is legit my mom and family. I left and never looked back. Unfortunately due to my health issues my mom is back in my life. It’s slow going but hopefully things will improve.
You too eh mate? I was literally hearing echoes of me own mum in the one from story 3 meself. Typical narcissist behavior really, someone calls them out on their shite? You better believe they're gonna try and turn it back on whoever called them out and try to pin whatever went wrong on them instead. S'why I'm proudly NC with her, was just too much BS to deal with, but now that she no-longer lives with me(I'm on the lease for the house, along with my aunt. Mum wanted off it as soon as she found another place to shit up), and i'm feelin' fine and flyin' free!
Hope y'all's life gets better! Keep going!
The dude in story 2 if not cheated on now, will definitely be in the future.
A man doesn't compromise on his principles
What a huge doormat
Story 2
Dude dump her
She clearly has 0 respect for your principles and boundaries
Story #2 bruh what girl are you dating!? she is for the streats 🛣🛣
omg the third story reminds me of my mom. never bothered to check and see if anything was wrong with me, refused to take me to a dentist (despite me complaining of tooth pain and crying when I tried to brush my teeth for over a year) until I was 17, neglected, abused (financially, emotionally, physically, verbally, psychologically, the works), made pain a competition, etc. then when I stopped talking to her or telling her about my life, she always pulled the "you never spend time with me anymore, I'm so depressed" and got surprised when I left. now I have to get psychologically evaluated for autism, DID, and an eating disorder and have been diagnosed with PTSD, MDD, and GAD and have cervical lordosis and a screwed knee that will probably need to be replaced by the time I'm 35.
Story 2 still
Dude i came to that realisation on the first minute
You're slow 😂
Lucy wants him to “take it in the end” literally. She wants to see him with a man and to use toys on him. He set his boundaries and after the she first brought up the topic he should have ended the relationship.
Kiddo, you are not sexually compatible w/her. Leave or get hurt.
130 is heavy
1st story sorry move on this is not gonna work
I disagree. Those boys will remember this and know going into adulthood that someone loved them enough to fight for them and didn't give up on them or look the other way. They will know as adults that, that is something that is not okay from a future partner.
@@questions3983I'm with you 💯% on that.
Day 284 of commenting to help secretvoices