Dating Your Ex Again- What You Need To Know

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  • Опубликовано: 19 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 93

  • @CoachCraigKenneth
    @CoachCraigKenneth  2 года назад +32

    Yeah, breakups are super duper stressful. Get a coaching with us personally with ACTUAL professionals.... Not someone who took "a psychology class" in 1983 🤣

    • @LG-ly7pw
      @LG-ly7pw 2 года назад

      Haha yes absolutely! I’ve listened to a few other coaches and still do from time to time just because I’m so interested in this subject now, (I couldn’t care less about my ex. He’s a loser and I’ve 100% outgrown him).
      I joined a Facebook break up group a few months ago just for some camaraderie, with this guy who doesn’t have any certifications, just a guy whose done some research and going off his own experiences. He does say many good things and has made some great RUclips videos.
      He also quickly made me a group expert within the group because of my “sound advice”
      ( that’s coz im always quoting you, Craig!)
      With some in the group I have private messaged them to coax them to watch your channel and everyone has come back saying you’re great… of course! 😎
      The more I learn about relationships, breakups, mental health, and then I talk with people or I read peoples comments in this Facebook group or wherever, it really shows most people have no idea about relationships.
      Always plugging you, Craig! 😘 love ya

    • @mariahtardieu4664
      @mariahtardieu4664 2 года назад

      i desperately need help, i am from the caribbean and i’m not sure how i can afford the sessions, i started watching your videos and i think one session will be helpful are there any other alternatives?

    • @LG-ly7pw
      @LG-ly7pw 2 года назад +2

      @@mariahtardieu4664 his workbooks are amazing. But if you can’t afford those just keep watching the videos. They will soothe you

    • @nomsasunmkhize5576
      @nomsasunmkhize5576 2 года назад

      In a true sense...we all trust old doctors compared to new ones...1983???
      They have more experience...

  • @rg7122
    @rg7122 2 года назад +77

    If they don’t want to talk about the relationship (what happened) due to guilt, then they are not ready to take real responsibility for their actions and thus, everything that happened before will happen again. They haven’t changed so the relationship will end again. Just my experience

    • @fademouth7299
      @fademouth7299 2 года назад +1

      Very true huhuhu, he avoid talking about it always, he felt toxic when i talk things back

    • @Tookybird22
      @Tookybird22 2 года назад

      💯💯💯💯

  • @sshuteandrew
    @sshuteandrew 2 года назад +74

    I’d like to see more videos like this- about the reconciliation process.

    • @kimbakotschi
      @kimbakotschi 2 года назад +3

      same

    • @MissSarahGM
      @MissSarahGM 2 года назад +9

      Yes because it is the most tricky part. Most often, they reach out, catch up a bit and disappear again.

    • @thinkingbeliever247
      @thinkingbeliever247 2 года назад +2

      Same here

    • @oleugh
      @oleugh 2 года назад +1

      @@MissSarahGM exactly what happened to me too

    • @jimbobjimbob8275
      @jimbobjimbob8275 Год назад +1

      ​​@@MissSarahGM just going through this now. Nothing out there about this. Incredibly frustrating just when you thought you had made progress.

  • @ktmok12345
    @ktmok12345 2 года назад +34

    There is difference between they hooked up before meeting you and leaving you hooking up with someone else. Have some self respect if it is this case, you are not someone’s option, be another one’s priority.

    • @cameronmoore5994
      @cameronmoore5994 2 года назад +3

      Agreed

    • @theartemisgland
      @theartemisgland 2 года назад +10

      This is true. Self-respect is a must here. Also enabling someone that its ok to leave and have sex and then come back once it doesnt work out is a recipe for future disaster. You either invest and stick through thick and thin or you go on with your life full of failing relationships and rebounds. Date healthy people.

    • @JEMANF
      @JEMANF Год назад

      Agreed

    • @rwentfordable
      @rwentfordable Год назад +2

      Agree, their take on this was awful.

    • @tigergirl906
      @tigergirl906 Год назад +1

      Agree; lack of insight here in terms of the difference between breaking up to date others versus not met you yet.

  • @ILoveMyFro
    @ILoveMyFro 2 года назад +37

    Ladies, the more time we spend with someone then the more we bond with them. Do not tip-toe around issues that made you break up in the first place. When your ex comes back address the issues calmly and respectfully, but do not start bonding and spending time with your ex unless you've had an open and honest conversation where you both agree to work on your issues. If they get overwhelmed with a conversation, then how are they going to deal with children, loss of a job, sickness, etc.?

    • @aidanjack3094
      @aidanjack3094 11 месяцев назад +3

      Thank you for saying that. My ex left me because she didn’t tell me the things I was doing wrong she never communicated and left me sitting there in pain. For the longest time I thought I was the reason for the break up when the truth is if she just said something then she would have never let all these small things pile into dumping me. Communication is key in every relationship there’s way too many people that just assume their partner will understand them. It’s stupid if someone has a problem say it no one likes to play games with others hearts.

    • @avenuempire
      @avenuempire 11 месяцев назад

      ​@@aidanjack3094same here bro. 8 days cold turkey NC.

  • @fxbinder
    @fxbinder Год назад +8

    Craig- I've heard this point from you before. I'll explain the "difference" to you and what I have a hard time with. When your ex comes back to you after being with someone else, it's likely because the rebound or the monkey branch did not work out. So if you go back to them that makes you the "back up plan". In my opinion, this gives your ex the message that you are disposable and they can take and leave you at their convenience. I like to refer to this as being rag-dolled. You get pulled around and emotionally beaten up. Rhetorical question- why does an ex want you back now and not before the other relationship came into play and didn't work out? Perhaps an ego boost? loneliness?
    On the other hand, the person that you've not yet been in a relationship, this view does not apply. You are new to each other and are the first choice.
    We spoke on skype the other week. I'm still going strong with no contact. It's been almost a year. I think about this argument often. What if she came back and she was with someone else before, during, or after the breaakup? I always land at the same place- I know my worth and am not anyone's back up plan. IDK- that's just how I see it.

  • @tigergirl906
    @tigergirl906 Год назад +4

    The difference is the future partner hasn’t met me yet, and they haven’t broken up with me because they believed the grass was greener and they could do better.

  • @ah3137
    @ah3137 2 года назад +13

    More videos like this!! Need more videos on the reconciliation process.

  • @ponokunishima1
    @ponokunishima1 2 года назад +5

    However, it doesn’t hurt to watch all of these videos again and again so that you know what to do and that you’re prepared!

  • @sofi4148
    @sofi4148 2 года назад +7

    this has been going on for 5 years now. he's definitely avoidant. I met someone else and I've been distracted from the avoidant. he reached out this weekend. I asked what he wanted...he said to nevermind because I was acting too guarded. well, I'm tired of his games. I told him I didn't want anymore casual visit and I wanted more and asked what his intentions were. He said.... an open minded approach. I asked if he meant open relationship....he got offended and stopped talking to me. I'm tire of his games. I am secure attachement, I just can't handle him. I met someone who brings true intentions and confesses his love with poem and songs. I like this better. ugh....

    • @mint_soup9743
      @mint_soup9743 Месяц назад

      Oh man, mine also referred to playing games that second "try" as having "an open minded approach"... I honestly cant say I think my ex was avoidant over just being narcissist for many other reasons. And does it matter? He was selfish and lacked empathy whatever the label. I hope writing 2 years since your comment, you receive this in good mental health! So important. I feel ya, sis.

  • @Lanes8930
    @Lanes8930 Год назад +4

    I personally feel that even if there is a break up there should be a certain level of respect for the relationship. I dont believe hooking up with Someone too soon is respectful to the dumpee... Or dumper. I was dumped but have no intention of looking for anyone else.

  • @spedhead218
    @spedhead218 2 года назад +11

    Uncle Craig I really liked this video! Please do more on this topic this was a very realistic view on what to expect if we get another chance. Thank you 😁

    • @danielmason371
      @danielmason371 2 года назад +1

      Totally agree. Thus video is so helpful

  • @Se7enn_Sinz
    @Se7enn_Sinz 2 года назад +7

    Man why do I keep having feelings and good thoughts come back. It’s been four months since the break up. I’m good mentally but just the memories keep coming back and sometimes it does make me depressed and wish we were still together. I’ve even kept busy and bettering myself

    • @DeadMysticx
      @DeadMysticx 2 года назад +4

      That is normal. 4.5 months since the breakup and there are still days I am crying about him

  • @Ajan4700
    @Ajan4700 2 года назад +3

    She said she wanted to go with the flow… I said OK but I wanted to get back and try it again… Eventually it got overwhelming for her when we dated and she got away again… Shes engaged to someone else now :)

  • @levalas91
    @levalas91 2 года назад +2

    20:47 I really felt that pause... Good video. Content like this always invites to imagine the first goal of many being reached.

  • @aidanjack3094
    @aidanjack3094 11 месяцев назад +1

    What do I do if she left me and then hooked up with people. It hurts thinking about it but I truly do love her.

  • @mint_soup9743
    @mint_soup9743 Месяц назад

    I feel like there should be a disclaimer in this about an ex having new partners during the breakup when the breakup was fabricated as a reverse discard in order for that person to excuse sleeping with others with the intention of swinging back around later to you. I know its not a healthy relationship to WANT to revisit off the bat, but I think many people are dealing with this particular situation and are needing to sort through if they are being manipulated by the ex's return or if the other relationships in the break up were well intentioned.

  • @thomaswilliams801
    @thomaswilliams801 2 года назад +1

    I have no clue about our Break up,she ended our relationship without any reason,we were having a great time no argument no fighting.

  • @mexi8739
    @mexi8739 2 года назад +12

    My ex and I are going through this process. We were together for 3 years and separated now for almost 3 months. My ex is an FA and I’m an AP. We had hung out 5 times and all we wanted to talk about was the break-up. The 5th time she actually left and said I don’t want to talk about it any more. So this past weekend we just hung out, relaxed, got a bottle of wine and just enjoyed each other. Leaving the past in the past for now did wonders for us this past weekend. My anxiety affected our love making but this weekend it was like when we were together and it was amazing. Her as an FA, she is completely closed off to sharing her feelings. So now I just don’t talk about the break-up and when she is ready I’m sure she will open up. I’m an AP so we are an interesting dynamic and I have been working on myself and becoming more secure. The break-up was my fault so I reach out and connect and she is open to communicating with me. I guess she wants to see that I care and I genuinely do. Thanks for this video!
    I haven’t hooked up or talked to anyone else since the break-up and I’m sure she hasn’t either. I am just giving her space and time to heal and repair things and coming back together.

    • @dakotacole3713
      @dakotacole3713 Год назад

      Any updates so far?

    • @mexi8739
      @mexi8739 Год назад +2

      @@dakotacole3713 in mid November she said she was done. So I just went full No contact for 3 weeks. I sent her a goodbye message around 3-4 week mark and she replied back the next day with an indirect-direct approach. That was 1 week ago and we’ve hung out & hooked-up twice, and last time I saw her she said I want you back. So we are going slow. Our texting before was like pulling teeth but now she has really opened up like when we were dating. The no-contact really did her well and me too. I honestly sent that message not expecting a reply, and accepting we were 100% done. We have made plans to hang out new year’s weekend and bring in the new year together. You can imagine that I’m genuinely surprised & overjoyed to be at this point. Like Craig says feelings change and given enough time and space some people do come around.

    • @dakotacole3713
      @dakotacole3713 Год назад

      @@mexi8739 Fuck yeah buddy, excited for you! Hope things keep going well for you. Let's both keep up the work, haha. I'm still having hopes that she is gonna come back and until she does, gonna keep up with the work I'm doing on myself. We've been together for 4 years and had an absolutely fantastic relationship and I wasn't a bad partner so I'm confident that I'm in a better position then a lot of others!

    • @BB25_25
      @BB25_25 8 месяцев назад

      What’s AP? If you’re gonna write such a long message, just write the full words out for these things.

  • @1226summer
    @1226summer 2 года назад +3

    Thank you for all your work on your videos, you guys are helping me a lot ❤

  • @oleugh
    @oleugh 2 года назад +10

    My ex finally reached out after 4 months of no contact. Radio silence from my part. No social media, nothing. She contacted me sending me three texts saying she wanted to talk to me but if I didn’t want to she would understand. I casually replied back and asked if we could do a phone call instead of just texting which she agreed to. We ended up having a 15-20min long call where I made her laugh even though she seemed sad and confused. Now it’s the day after and I haven’t sent her anything. My anxiety is building again and I’m unsure if I’ll hear from her again. Do you have any videos on this subject? Any advice on how to proceed Craig? Thanks so much for all the videos and material. I’d be so lost without you guys 🙏🏻

    • @mariotibbrine1
      @mariotibbrine1 2 года назад +3

      No phone talking only face to face communication the phone is only to schedule meet ups

    • @ElaCanessaMusic
      @ElaCanessaMusic 2 года назад +4

      I think you should go no contact again, calm your anxiety and let her reach out again…remember always Craig says we should avoid coming too strong…she is doing her process too but if she dumped you she have to earn you back, remember you are the price and don’t settle for less…let her come back again when she is ready, better slowly but steady, everything is going to be ok! Keep doing the work

    • @ElaCanessaMusic
      @ElaCanessaMusic 2 года назад +2

      She might be on a stage where she misses you but is not sure if this will work out again or how to proceed, that is why I think if you reached out to her you will calm her anxiety cause she will know she still has you or she will feel pressure

    • @oleugh
      @oleugh 2 года назад +1

      @@mariotibbrine1 she lives on the opposite side of the planet bro

    • @oleugh
      @oleugh 2 года назад +1

      @@ElaCanessaMusic yes, I figured as much. And then it will seem like I was looking to find an excuse to reach out, might seem a little desp. Thanks for the reply :)

  • @bryanunion5110
    @bryanunion5110 2 года назад +2

    my ex showed screen shots of our arguments to her cousin and which cause he to not be to fond of me when we broke up in january. we got back together and didn’t address the issues and recently broke up in 2 weeks ago. i didn’t do the work

  • @loverofbeautifulthings
    @loverofbeautifulthings 2 года назад +1

    This is *such* a good video~~thank you, guys!!

  • @LeonScottKennedy7
    @LeonScottKennedy7 27 дней назад

    Thank you Craig and Victoria

  • @mariotibbrine1
    @mariotibbrine1 2 года назад +1

    Don't be obsessively fixated on making things work that comes off clinging and desperate just live in the moment

    • @n26c88
      @n26c88 2 года назад +1

      Live in the moment but don't get attached

  • @lesleymiller8446
    @lesleymiller8446 2 года назад +1

    I saw my ex last friday as i was going for the bus, i could feel him looking at me but we went different directions and no conrtact was made....

  • @DaveSustain
    @DaveSustain 6 месяцев назад

    Not taking them if they've slept with someone else. That's a big no!

  • @nathantrujillo471
    @nathantrujillo471 2 года назад +7

    “She’s not yours it’s just your turn”

  • @EternalLife91
    @EternalLife91 2 года назад +1

    That's good to know. Thanks Coach!

  • @n26c88
    @n26c88 2 года назад +2

    Well I ruined my chance then 😂 he reached out and I mirrored and kept it light, after he tried to intrusively question what's been happening in my life in the last 7 months in his second text (i.e. 'how are your family? Your life? Work?'), I asked him why he reached out. He told me it was because a year ago he'd agreed to reach out in a year and he was keeping that promise...I thanked him for reaching out and said I'm in a great place but I don't have room for people who don't want to be in my life. His reply - ok. Haven't spoken since.
    I took this exchange to be an indirect direct/ testing the waters to see if I'd want to talk to him. He was information gathering. What do you think? Was this appropriate boundary setting?

    • @DeadMysticx
      @DeadMysticx 2 года назад +1

      So his first reach our was after 7 months?

    • @n26c88
      @n26c88 2 года назад +2

      @@DeadMysticx yep I told him I wanted a clean break and not to reach out unless he wanted more than friendship.

  • @travelingman9
    @travelingman9 2 года назад +1

    How long is too long apart?? 2.5 year relationship. Been broke up for about 5 months. I figured I would have heard something by now or Atleast made progress to getting back together but nothing..

  • @touchingisjustthefirststep
    @touchingisjustthefirststep 2 года назад +2

    She came back only to lead me on again

  • @bts_bri
    @bts_bri Год назад

    I broke up with him due to us not being compatible many times but now he’s moved on and dating someone else. He’s open to working on things but he still wants to date other people to choose his best option. I really wanna work on things with him but I feel stuck somehow. It’s hard for me to try when Ik he is talking to someone else and possibly intimidate with her

  • @Lanes8930
    @Lanes8930 Год назад +1

    Why am i watching this video? My ex isnt even back 🙄 wishful thinking i guess. Its about two months now and i am still in sooooo much pain. I think im still in shock this has happened. If you told me 3 years ago that my boyfriend would leave or that id win the lotto, well, id be looking up ' new cars' at the moment. The pain is the worst. Depression has hit me big time. Im so " delusional" i ordered a nice dress online last week just in case i get the chance to meet with him. God im pathetic!
    Ps would love to see a guest appearance from the Applebee's girl 🤣 how insightful would it be to hear her side of things

  • @ponokunishima1
    @ponokunishima1 2 года назад +2

    I think this was an older video, just a different title, because I remember hearing this and the part about your ex sleeping around and coming clean about it if the two of you were to get back together.
    With that being said, I myself would like to be safe and not be with other people (sleep around) especially nowadays with the Coronavirus and other flu symptoms going around, even if you do use protection and stuff. But its hard not to.

  • @levioliver3794
    @levioliver3794 Год назад +1

    LOVE all your videos but this one I can’t find agreement. I’m sorry, but there is ABSOLUTELY a difference between pre intimacy and then intimacy during the breakup. I’m not saying it’s wrong they did it, I’m saying from an emotional standpoint, knowing the person you are in love with and spent X time with slept with others is VERY hard. I don’t think that’s an ISSUE for people to explore. Some can handle it, in my opinion if they can, they weren’t as attached. I was surprised by this take, it’s very black and white, removing emotions.

    • @rwentfordable
      @rwentfordable Год назад +1

      I agree, their take on this was awful

  • @williammusic390
    @williammusic390 2 года назад +1

    Can Anyone tell me why after 5 months of no contact my ex goes to my Mother's house and tells her its been 7 months now and I need to move on and find someone else. And she reached out twice during the 5 months to say Happy Father'sday are you doing ok and Happy Birthday I hope you have a good day. We've been broken up for 7 months and I have been in complete no contact for the 5

  • @mattykay7852
    @mattykay7852 Год назад +1

    I think it’s a man pain knowing our ex’s have been with other people
    It’s a hard pill to swallow for us Blokes
    Especially myself
    It’s a struggle

    • @mint_soup9743
      @mint_soup9743 Месяц назад

      Shit that hurts terribly for women too, whatchu talking about? I'm sick of men acting like women arent absolutely devastated just because they are more willing to forgive and stomach the pain and resentment. Sheesh

  • @wyleecoyotee4252
    @wyleecoyotee4252 2 года назад

    My ex wanted to get back together..no thanks

  • @Ben-ok5ps
    @Ben-ok5ps 2 года назад +2

    She ain’t coming back 😂

  • @flat4wankel
    @flat4wankel Год назад

    Victoria looking 🔥

  • @chlochlo8207
    @chlochlo8207 2 года назад +1

    Haha that’ll never happen I’m just doing me he even said he’d never give me a change nor come back lol so I don’t care.

  • @glenzeray
    @glenzeray 2 года назад +1

    Where we this video 2.5 years ago?😢😢😢

    • @matimanXDD
      @matimanXDD 2 года назад

      For anyone reading these comments that look like this or similiar are SCAM! Nobody real would ever change their name on youtube to an ad/contact for someone else, who’s hacker, that can seemingly hack someone’s brain or some magical folk with the power to turn fish into I don’t know a flag?Please be careful, these bots are everywhere.

  • @inserter400
    @inserter400 2 года назад

    When should you start or stop fighting for someone ? 🤔

  • @keysc08
    @keysc08 Год назад

    Advice on dating your ex again: don’t.

  • @nomsasunmkhize5576
    @nomsasunmkhize5576 2 года назад

    Yohhhhh....i will not ever.ever try to go back to death bed 🙄

  • @chrismiles8297
    @chrismiles8297 2 года назад +2

    Run to the hills. Move on. Forget the ex. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

  • @ElevatedCultivator
    @ElevatedCultivator Год назад

    Coach Victoria is cute bet she'd be a great partner ...holla!😁