Fifty Shades Darker - Sibling Rivalry
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- Опубликовано: 19 окт 2024
- Doug and Rob try something a little different this time around with Fifty Shades Darker. No, not THAT different, but it does involve a lot of pain.
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This movie is not a so bad it's good. It's just bad and this Sibling Rivalry was therapeutic for Rob.
I like the mask on the left best!
I was hoping people would be smarter than to watch this garbage, but by the time i'm writing this the movie already made double it's budget so there's that. Also that camera shot you were talking about at the end kinda reminded me of Mr.Robot where almost 90% of the screen is just blank space, it didn't make much sense why they shot it that way either, but it's still a pretty cool show. However this piece of prosaic, neutered, culmination of nothing, as well as the fucking cinematic equivalent of dry paint should just vanish into the deepest pits of human concsiounsness.
I think Doug was thinking of 9 1/2 weeks btw
Well at the very least he got to take out his frustrations and rant a bit. Hope he's doing alright now. XD
Really they're calling it Fifty Shades of Darker
"The author didn't like the original film. She said it had nothing to do with her vision. Of course not because they were trying to make it good" Rob Walker- Master of Burns :D
Yeah, the book is horrible written and honestly, the only thing going for it is that it is about sex, because it has no value beyond them. I will say this: The movie is better than the book. Still not saying much though
+pokemon man I hardly think "his erection springs free" is good sex writing.
if any bdsm erotica needed to be made into a movie it was Sunstone, not this garbage. . . .Fuck, now i want a Sunstone movie.
I've seen infinitely better literotica on fucking 4chan. Much less places that actually have people that write it professionally, or even consistently recreationally (there are places).
Where does the author get off talking about "artistic vision", when her book was literally just Twilight fanfiction with the names and vampire references removed?
Wait, I can hazard a guess to where she gets off. It's likely atop her mountain of stupid people's money.
So... they made a movie with four sex scenes, a crazy ex-girlfriend with a gun, a child-abuse-filled backstory, a probable serial molester with a crush on the protagonist and a HELICOPTER CRASH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WILDERNESS and they managed to make it BORING!? Truly, a crime against cinema if there ever was one.
Michael Ramon Underrated comment alert.
Seriously...
My cousin & I left after the helicopter scene. This movie was a waste time. I was warning men that were buying it for their women that it's going to suck.
That shouldn't even be possible. How do you fuck up that badly?
It truly is. I watched this movie and only could think about how great it would be if it was more dark and more self aware...
An hour of Rob losing his mind? Yes please.
That's WAY kinkier than anything the 50 Shades series!
and Doug feeling violated
El James: I didn't like the first movie because it's not my vision!
Me: It was never your vision to begin with-- you wrote a TWILIGHT fanfic that got popular and you sold it on Amazon! Your entire success story was based off of a vampire romance for TEENAGERS, you hack!
She even released "Master of the Universe" (what an original title...that she ripped off from He-Man) with "illustrations" that were screen caps from Twilight.
Aria Clements wait, what? i know about the other two books, the one from Grey's perspective (that fans didnt even like) and the "inner goddess" ebook, but what's this?
Master of the Universe, from what I understand, was the ironically unoriginal original title of the entire series. When made into "proper" "books", it was stretched out into three
You don't have to be original to be popular.
apparently you dont have to be good either?
An 1 hour long rant ??......... sure, count me in.
SilverShion OMG! I love your profile pic
SilverShion omg the mighty critic has responded but will he respond again?
Mark Lewis Charlie Brown mixed with Jotaro Kujo, what's not to love?
The Ninja is right.
Rob Walker, if you're reading this, go finish watching Jojo part 2!
Definitely for this movie
I am seriously considering to start a petition for Tommy Wiseau to remake the Fifty Shades Trilogy.
Just imagine the possibilities!
Katerina Benardou "I'll tear your ass apart, Lisa!"?
Well, I had Wiseau's undoubted expertise in the long lost high art of navel-fucking in mind, but this will do too.
Katerina Benardou A regular sex session turns into a creepy threesome when Mark suddenly shows up (cue the obligatory "Oh hi Mark"), and it keeps getting better with the action shifting towards the nearest stairwell while Danny watches in complete silence.
"Denny, three is great, but four is greater!"
Boy, the senario literally writes itself!
The kinkiest scenes would be of Christian fucking Ana's bellybutton
Rob: "I want some Shibari shit in there!"
Doug: "Huh?"
Rob "Anyway, he whips out the spreader bar..."
Doug: "Spreader what now?"
I guess we found out who's the kinky brother... :)
I know! I'm like 'Rob, you got some explaining to do'
Just five little words:
*_Tommy Wiseau as Christian Gray_*
Boom. Just blew your mind.
Apollo9898LPs How Tommy gets Ana to bed: "So anyway, how's your sex life?"
OH HAI ANA
Ana: Hold on, what is this?
"You're tearing me apart Ana!!"
Apollo9898LPs "What are you doing on your computer? Go outside ITS SO BEAUTIFUL RAAAAAAHHHHHHH
I know Asexuals with kinkier minds than this damn series.
Mad Muffin I *am* an asexual with a kinkier mind than this shit.
His hard limits are most vanilla people's soft limits ffs
Mad Muffin It's indeed funny how some asexuals are the most flirtatious and make the funniest sexual jokes...myself included.
same fam
It's true
Yep. I'm one of those too. I also have really dirty humor.
Some way as an asexual is kinda easier to certain point at least joke/talk about kinky stuff because you don't feel personal shame as much thant those who actually practice sex/kinky things.
Of course depending a bit what type of asexual you're and what kinda of culture that asexual has grown up in.
That idea Doug made up about Ana using the real-life Fifty Shades series to get revenge on Christian is pretty amazing--and better than the actual ending, from what I've read.
TheHeroOfTomorrow that’s my head canon now for these books. Even though it is horribly written, this is going to help get through this better. Only a little bit
I would pay to see a Fifty Shades of Grey film IF it contained a scene in which Christian Grey gets stuck in one of his devices and has to be rescued by the fire brigade. Don't tell me that wouldn't be hilarious.
Dude you guys literally *have* to put a character in NC named Ray P. McGee
A 16 year old spending 15 minutes on a tumblr BDSM blog could right a better fifty shades
ailish_ AF There really is erotic fan fiction written by teenagers that's way more better than this, a quick skim on AO3 and Wattpad is more than enough.
Miles Prower yeah I've seen the BDSM community on tumblr. They really stress the importance of consent even the hardcore ones. It's both a bash on FSG and praise for tumblr
It's "Write" not right. #neverforget
actually.. she could. she totally could
Thanks for the compliment
I'm so glad Lego Batman made more money than this garbage
MegaSoulHero Too bad John Wick 2 made less than this garbage. WTF!
Jon Stewart As much of a positive reputation John Wick has, it doesn't have the mainstream awareness.
I took my mom to see Lego Batman with me.
She was ACTUALLY SURPRISED when it beat this shit they're reviewing
Actually Lego Batman only made $37 million this weekend. Fifty Shades Darker made $97 Million.
Pix Tron domestic or global
For anyone who still has questions, watching 50 Shades for it's representation of BDSM is like watching Pearl Harbor for Michael Bay's impeccable historical accuracy.
Wait...ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE TO REWRITE MY HISTORY REPORT!?!
@@alexandersmith7061 yes.
Lego Joker and Lego Batman had a better dysfunctional relationship than Grey and Steele.
ztslovebird it’s more romantic than grey and Steele too
It’s kinkier too when they did that head action at the end of the movie 😏
And had better slash/lemon fanfic on the Web...
The LEGO Batman Movie is more of a Valentine's Day movie than this is
Jaymes Shoreman Just watch Deadpool again.
Angry Yogbuscus Deadpool's blatant nudity and gore is more sexy than 50 shades.
Jaymes Shoreman Batman and the Joker have more sexual chemistry and an engaging relationship development in that movie than this.
Enrique Prieto batman and robin has more chemistry
Not the movie but the characters
Best part of this review. 15:32
Doug: *laughs*
Rob: It opens up with some child abuse scenes...
Doug: *stare of death*
The most unrealistic part of the 50 Shade timeline is that Ana apparently went from senior college student to head of a department of a large publishing firm in 6 weeks.
Why does that remind me of that episode of Family Guy were Meg gets a job at "Superstore USA" and ends up being promoted to manager within a few weeks? I know it was just a plot device so she'd have to fire her father, refuse to do it and quit instead (and I'm not trying to defend these kinds of monolithic business either) but you don't get to be manager on a dime like that. Seriously, there is training you have to travel for and such.
I've seen more intense bondage on Deviantart
roarshach13 To be fair, Devianart is pretty famous for underground fetish communities.
Pavel Prazak exactly. People on Deviantart know what the hell they're doing. E.L. James does NOT. All of these scenes read like they were written by somebody who learned about bondage through one minute scenes in police procedurals
roarshach13
Yeah, I'd be infinitely more surprised if you had seen LESS intense bondage on Deviantart
I've seen more intense bondage watching a cat play with a ball of yarn.
Plus a lot better actual writers on there too. I mean probably the best bdsm erotica comic ever put to err screen i guess is there in Sunstone. Now that's something that deserves a movie.
I refuse to give this movie any attention; I fucking *DESPISE* Fifty Shades of Grey, chances are I will hate this movie even _more_.
Normally I'd say, "fuck this movie.", but it's not even worth _that_ insult, it doesn't even DESERVE a "fuck"
Also, John Wick: Chapter 2 is much more entertaining.
Asuna Yuuki Well it is an erotic fan fiction off twilight and so its no surprise that it's bad.
Asuna Yuuki You watch hour long video about this movie you gave it *attention*
But it's just so fucking fascinating : the first movie and this one are like another kind of garbage. Like another kind of bad. Like I've no idea why they exist, they're so bland, the dialogues/plot/characters are so awful, AND where's the fucking BDSM ??? no, no, no, no, no, : where's the fucking ????? Those movies act like they're all bout sex and hardcore stuff but... they're not. They're really not. And it's so fucking surprising Oo I mean besides having horrible dialogues, plot and characters those movies don't even have the MAIN thing they always claimed to have. It's like you keep bragging about making a really scary horror movie but you end up releasing something as frightening as Dora the explorer ! I mean how can you fuck up something like that ? The movie keeps lying to the audience and wants to get away with it. This is impressive Oo
Don't even dare to compare John Wick to this trash
TankAce just say Kirito he's just an emo teenager and be done with it XD
I'm only halfway through and this is already the greatest Sibling Rivalry video ever.
"Oh Christ..." "Christ was in this?" SANTA CHRIIIIIIIIST, SANTA CHRIIIIIIST, WE ALL LOVE SANTA CHRIIIIIIIIIST!
That would make the movie so much better
Santa Christ would easily nake the film, yes.
"Diamond-encrusted Ring Pop" I died. XD
I'm sad. After this, I have to wait a year to see another sibling rivalry video about 50 shades. I swear these videos are the only good things to ever came out of those movies.
Yeah, now I'm really sad.
I cried of laughter watching this, I want Rob explaining more movies Doug has never seen.
So this video is more of a therapy session for Rob after seeing 50 shades shittier.
Karolus Magnus basically
fifty shades would have been WAY more interesting if he was a serial killer and she just had no idea the whole time. i can think of a thousand ways that basic premise could have been way better.
Nothing makes me laugh more than Doug and Rob talking about Fifty Shades! :D It's like my favourite thing!
16:42 "I feel violated right now" by Doug Walker. OMG I laughed so fucking much you have no idea
Could we get a nostalgia critic short where doug and rob re-enact the 'serious' scenes, but all of Anastasia's thoughts are voiced by Malcolm's deep voice?
You... I... This!
This movie makes The Room look like a masterpiece.
Gracie J The room is a masterpiece!
domo riski Yes. An unintentionally funny one. I really prefer watching it with Rifftrax, either wise I'd fall asleep.
The first 5 minutes of this accidently played when I went to go see Lego batman. Hard to say which was funnier.
Moxie Miss DUDE THAT HAPPENED TO ME TOO, me and my sister and brother went in there and could not figure out why they were showing r rated trailers, then the movie started playing and there were a ton of kids in there lol, and after multiple families left after like 15 minutes they started playing the right thing lol
"I asked you to spank me but I didn't know you would SPANK me!!! YOU'RE INSANE!!!!" - Doug walker--2017
You need to make a Nostalgia Critic episode on this movie!
DAY-V Entertainment™ I love a crossover with him and Cinema Snob on both films.
DAY-V Entertainment™ trust me I waiting so long for this
DAY-V Entertainment™ I highly want Nostalgia Critic to do this sequel and the first one too.
JUST DO IT TAMARA
yeah with the lack of degrading stuff i dont get why Tamara wont do it
*shrug*
Twilight is the literary equivalent of World War I: You thought this was as bad as it could get, but then World War II/50 Shades happened.
RyanX1231 So, what? The 3rd book is gonna be like World War 3?
...we're all screwed, aren't we?
It's like gonorrhea.
When you think is gone for good, the motherfucker returns worse than ever.
How Rob violates Doug with his hand was hilarious. If there is such a thing a Male older Mabel Pines there it is.
"The emotional manipulation is he darkest thing he's got." Then it's really faithful to Twilight!
Watching Rob yell about nipple clamps was the high point of my week.
29:53 "jokes on you, I'm totally into this kinda sorta just don't spank me" I lost it
"hes basically..John Constantine...mixed with a serial rapist" that line made me spit taco all over my laptop..so.. thanks for that
CrashOverride958 Rapey Mc Gee.
Still a better love story than Twilight.
One moment...
I've just been informed by my producer that this is NOT a better love story than Twilight.
What have we done..
Well, cringy Twilight fanfiction really shouldn't be better...
Just an image of Grima Wormtongue looking horrified!
I want a 50 shades parody exclusively staring the Walker brothers ... Doug is Anastasia
Basically all of the stuff these guys are coming up with would make for a better movie. I'd totally watch a film about a BDSM-obsessed dude having to use his toys to escape a helicopter crash-site!
the impressions oh my gawd
Yumehop hype! Rob changes instantly from Christopher Walken to Anastasia. So,so good
Definitely the best part of the video
That scene in Star Wars Episode 2 where Padme is in that black dress in front of a fire with Anakin is more erotic than this whole movie.
When my husband and I went to see Logan this was playing at the same time. Jokingly he asked if I wanted to see this instead...and I not so jokingly I punched him in the shoulder.
"kindergarden bdsm" that doesnt sound right
Or very right...
Doug's mask is fabulous
That intro was hilarious! Well done, guys.
3:59 play the Tom and Jerry clip, do it
Crash Schwarzenegger can you tell me where can I find that clip
Palpatine: DO IT.
Freddie Faulig I don't quit remember but I can try to find it
what does he even say in that clip?
Mats Vollema DOOOON'T YOUUUUU BELIEVE IT!
56 minutes?! I'm excited.
Just looking the thumbnail I burst out laughing. Fucking nailed it.
The problem with these movies is they don't work for either audience. For the normal audience, they don't work since they are literally movies about a woman enjoying mental and sexual abuse. For the Perverted Audience, it STILL doesn't work because the sex is so softcore you could fall asleep through those scenes.
Eremikashipper 4ever And then there is the audience of women that Rob described.
The bathroom scene in Booksmart was more hardcore than everything in this franchise by comparison. And that scene literally ends with one of the women throwing up on the other before they can really get into it, cause she’s all drunk
I can only imagine how the movie for Fifty Shades Freed will go. Even fans of the series described the plot as basically being "Ana gets pregnant and eats a lot"
"there's something about that girl!"
well in the book, it's the fact that she looks like his mom...
Amanda Bryant wouldn't it be funny if they were brother and sister?
That just makes him an even BIGGER freak than previously established. Seriously, how fucked up must a character be? 😰😖
Amanda Bryant In the movies, it's that too.
No. Just no.
I'd rather watch Lego Batman or John Wick 2 than this crap. It's not even worth watching for free...
So to anyone trying to give me links; No, thank you.
Matthew Cool i wouldnt even watch it if I get paid for this.
I don't doubt that.
Hanmacx I would...but it wouldn't be cheap. You'd have to pay me 20-50$ minimum.
Matthew Cool Go and see Lego Batman. You'll have fun haha
Matthew Cool if they offered to destroy the franchise if you watched it, would you? We should start a petition... Not that it would do anything...
So, who's up for a Ray P. McGee character skit?
Beth Lowery ME! ME!!! MEEEE!!!
"Aw, I thought there would be Grey with the Avengers eating Shawarma" Great xD
*Sees thumbnail*
Oh, this will be good.
Sooo you're telling me that Kim Basinger... the woman partially responsible for the toned-down story in "Cool World" so she could show it at *children's* *hospitals*... agreed to be in the sequel for 50 Shades of Grey...!?
Kenzi Bat Well, it's not exactly like 50 shades is being shown in children's hospitals.
Bad choice for her either way.
Yeah well she wanted to show "Cool World" to sick kids, and I would argue that the sex scene in THAT movie is more kinky than any of the sex scenes in 50 Shades - cuz at least toon-on-human sex is SOMETHING - so ya never know!
Should have just showed them Batman 89
Kim Basinger was in 9 1/2 weeks, which is a good 50% a carbon copy of 50 Shades. Except she has the common sense to leave the abusive masochistic guy at the end.
I think it was supposed to be a "clever" casting.
(Turns out Doug half-remembers it at 33:50)
The book writer used to write Twilight fan fics.
It all makes sense now....
Anipanda Worse....she made a Twilight fanfic...changed the names "Isabella Swan" and "Edward Cullen" to "Anastasia Steele" and "Christian Grey" and changed other details...methinks Stephanie Meyer could sue.
Anipanda woooow
Not used to... 50 shades series are the fanfics...
I don't get why the author of the novels couldn't have talked to people who actually live or have lived the bdsm lifestyle. Not sure if that would have improved the story, but she could have at least tried. There's an author on Fanfiction.net called LadyDetia who has written fiction containing BDSM, and it's so much better written than this 50 Shades crap. She states in an author's note that she's lived the lifestyle for years and it shows in her writing.
Because that would have required *effort*.
Hinatakun360 the authour started the 1st book as a twilight fanfiction on her blackberry. or at least that is what she said in an interview after the 1st movie came out
The movie is the same way... they claim they did their research but clearly they don't care regardless.. :
Hinatachan360 Thanks for sharing dude, the good writers need credit man.
If I had a web show and I ever talked fifty shades of grey, I would end each episode sharing an actually good fetish/erotica writer that's fucking WORTH the undeserved attention this for some reason garners. It would be so awesome to see some content creator take that undeserved attention that 50 always gets and turn it around to shed light on worthwhile writers, man.
As a high schooler who had to watch confessions of a shopaholic in class today this made my day.
The best part is Doug Walker reacting to “That ain’t going up my pooper!”
My wife divorced me this Valentines Day. That's still better than her making me see this movie.
The Cheshire cat shirt is amazing.
As someone who is a HUGE fan of you guys and cares for your continuing health and sanity; WHY WOULD YOU SUBJECT YOURSELVES TO THIS WHEN THERE ARE AT LEAST TWO MUCH BETTER MOVIES (The LEGO Batman Movie & John Wick: Chapter 2) YOU COULD HAVE SEEN INSTEAD!?!
Again, I only worry cause I care.
Well, it's just Rob and his wife, it's also really because of them loving the book because it's so fucking bad that it's fucking hillarious. And they were left really disappointed because it's really not funny at all.
TheKersey475 it's their job. And in the immortal words from "tom and Jerry Charlie and the Chocolate factory"
Rob- "why don't we actually watch a good movie?"
Doug- "NEVER!!!!"
"I can see Uranus!"
I miss sibling rivalry so much 😓 these and first viewings are my favorites on this channel
My favorite moment in this video happens at about 16:30 when Rob grabs Doug's hand and then starts groaning. The look on Doug's face is priceless.
"Imagine nothing! Put it on her nipple!" - Rob Walker, 2017
Gosh I laughed so hard at poor Rob losing his mind.
10:40 Ray P. McGee, the next criminal antagonist for Phoenix Wright...
Why does everybody laugh at "Anastasia Steele", which is a fictional name, but the actress who plays Christian's adoptive mother is called Marcia Gay Harden, which is a real name!?
I think, in part, that it has to do with the fact there is a real-life author by the name of Danielle Steel and that it almost sounds like a pen name. Whenever anyone says Anastasia Steele I can't help but think of Danielle Steel and how their professions are kind of connected. I don't know why, but it makes me laugh.
...but according to the chart, we need them to be more hip.
Instead of this watch "Secretary" with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Gee, thanks Rob. I just did a Bing search for "Spreader Bar."
Wait, why did you use Bing to search for-- OH, now I understand.
22:26 I laughed so hard, but I'm still recovering from a cold, so I almost suffocated to death XD
Why am I starting to think Twilight is a decent series?
Because the fanfics are sometimes a lot lot worst
Because when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back.
Twilight is the literary equivalent of World War I: You thought this was as bad as it could get, but then World War II/50 Shades happened.
This review is hilarious! Please Rob do the 3rd one next year! Its too funny.
"Guess who's in this movie?" That could literally be anybody. My first thought was Will Smith, Samuel L. Jackson or Tyler Perry, lol.
16:52 it took longer than i thought but there's your robXdoug fanfiction
I play this out loud in class and the second I look away from my phone, you guys start moaning. Thanks :)
10:53 Nah, she went with the much more subtle "Jack Hyde." As in Mr. Hyde. So subtle.
Rob: You're gonna have trouble finding a worse movie this year.
DC: Challenge accepted.
feels like Anastasia Steele is another one of those names you need to have the puppet critic say.
Just watch Secratary the movie, please don't waste your time at this movie
Hell the fuck yeah!
At first I read that as secretariat and was confused... But I bet a movie about a race horse us kinkier than this movie.
I heard that the author was on set while they were filming the first one, micromanaging everything, and that there was a BDSM consultant on set. Every time he said "No, that's not an accurate representation of the dynamic," she would freak out and refuse to allow them to deviate at all. But it wasn't her 'vision'? ... what a pretentious hack.
Holy shit Doug's Dr. Claw impression is spot on! I thought it was voice modulated in the NC for Inspector Gadget.
Good double feature: Rob Ranting to Doug about Fifty Shades Darker, and Rob ranting to Brian about Old Fasioned
I want Doug's shirt! 😁
You know, you say this film has no redeeming value, but it sounds to me like we have the next Rocky Horror Picture Show on our hands.
Nothing happens for 30 seconds? Audience shouts "DO SOMETHING!"
Sex scene cuts away before climax? Audience asks "WHERE'S THE REST?"
The sleazy guy has a scene? "HOW'S IT GOING, RAPEY MCGEE?"
Character standing on the wrong side of the frame? "YOU'RE OFF YOUR MARK!"
And I'm sure there's many others.
The books really should’ve ended at the first book as it had a good ending as Ana leaves an abusive relationship and it looks like that she won her own freedom in the end. It showed that she is her own person and that she had the strength to say no. They should have ended it right then and there. Saving us from the rest of the trilogy
YASSSS i knew you wouldnt disappoint me thankyou walker brothers 4 this XD
Tommy Wiseau should remake the Fifty Shades franchise.
ALL THE YES! He could be the new Grey. XD "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART ANA!"
Maybe since 50SoG is just a Twilight fan fiction, the creators felt it necessary to make the movies as shitty as possible to stay true to original source material
**shakes the siblings**
JOOOOOOOHN WICK 2
LEGO BATMAN.
Even the kindergarders would say "Do something?!"
i work in a movie theater. we've been finding some interesting stains on our seats.
Zhaife Oh, god....at THIS movie?