Dear White Women...
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- Опубликовано: 10 фев 2025
- Here is how you can become better allies with women of color.
The same path will take you to the happiness, connection, and community you've been looking for all your life.
For women of color, this video will help you gain clarity on your experiences.
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#whitewomen #emotionalintelligence #empathy
Drop your thoughts and comments here. Let's be mindful of our choices of words for this sensitive topic.
Well, you haven't been particularly mindful of your words, nor have you been remotely sensitive. Your entire video is a diatribe of racist commentary, with no evidence to back it up. I'm honestly inclined to wonder if the whole thing has simply been orchestrated as outrage-bait, in order to get clicks on your channel and earn money.
I learned early on that no matter how calm or respectful I worded things if a white woman gets offended and cries that can literally ruin my public reputation. Even if I was able to prove I did nothing wrong. Men of every race will come to their defense before me. The "nice" white women often isolate the women of color from moving up in the workplace. The super feminist ones I've encountered also seemed to hang around me to access black men but not to be a true friend. I respect this video so much. I hope people take heed.
I've worked in many different fields, and I've literally never seen a white woman, a black woman, an Asian woman, or any other woman "get offended and cry" in a workplace, for any reason. I've also never seen a man of any race get offended and cry in a workplace. Are you saying this happened regularly to you in your workplace? Or was it a one-time situation? What kind of industry did or do you work in? What was the situation, and what were you attempting to communicate to the white woman?
@@odettegibbs2238 I've had this happen in several social spaces(work, organizations, teams, friendships) starting in middle school. Many black women know a white woman's tears can get you literally removed from a space or even arrested. Anytime I was either bullied or didn't agree with something they did, or said if they became emotional I would then become the "difficult" party in the situation. One example was at a bar. A woman I did not know asked to touch my hair. While reaching for my hair I took a step back and said, "no." She then says, "you've never let anyone touch your hair before?" I said, " I don't know you, you shouldn't just reach for people's hair." I go inside. Minutes later I see her near the front door with friends surrounding her along the owner of the establishment. She began crying, and pointed me out as a person who was rude to her. Someone who worked at the bar called me over and asked what happened. Luckily I had a white friend with me that saw what happened so he spoke up for me. The owner apologized. If I didn't have that person there I probably would have been kicked out or banned. I ultimately ended up leaving shortly after that situation. In the workplace a coworker who decided to transition from an easier role to a similar role I had been working long before she joined interrupted me literally every 15 minutes with things I told her our direct manager could assist her with. She was not listening to my advice and she was not correctly doing what our manager asked. (We had a 2 inch binder filled with a detailed manual on how to do our job. She chose not to read it.) I sent her an email after about 2 weeks of this behavior respectfully asking that she stop interrupting my productivity. (there were dozens of others doing our job btw) She went to a manager over our direct manager, complained and cried. I was then brought in by that manager for a 1 on 1. I was told she cried and was very hurt. She felt I was being unprofessional and rude (even though I flat out sent her paragraphs directly from our training manual. I also tried to help but she wanted to do things her way.) He then told me he felt I was combative, and not being a team player after I showed him proof of trying to help her and after I asked a few questions. She was a favorite in the office. I was then moved to a less successful team even though my numbers were exceptional and I had been nominated for an award for my hard work. I had also been informed by many others working on her side of the office that for weeks she was speaking very ill of me to others openly. After the fall out, weeks later she came by my desk to offer me a donut. I, with a smile and the tiniest voice declined it. Didn't want her to cry again if I didn't dim myself. I went to the bathroom and cried because I knew my tears or hard work meant nothing in that space.
@@odettegibbs2238 All I will say is I work in Tech. I am a private person.
Everything you said is true. Thanks for putting it so correctly and with patience and empathy. Personally I’m tired and don’t see it ever changing. I think it’s human nature. Look at chimp societies. Sure we should be able to do better but look at history, we can’t lol.
yt ppl specifically segregate themselves, it’s not “human nature.”. They have a deep tick to work on.
It’s definitely a hard uphill battle. I don’t think this will be resolved in our life time, but I believe that every effort counts.
Equity, not elitism. Acceptance, not antagonism. Reciprocity, not rejection. This is such a nuanced topic, and I teeter very carefully before I express my views (which in itself is very revealing). I appreciate this upload, thank you x
This comment section is fascinating. Talking about racism is like talking about ‘the devil’ or about evil. People will tell you that it doesn’t exist, or silence you. Many people will tell you your experience of it is wrong if you have the heart to be honest about it. When you’re multiracial, or white adjacent people don’t want to hear anything from you even when we experience both privilege and discrimination. I don’t know how we address racism and colorism when people are so triggered from every angle.
The problem is that the person who posted this video began with an entire list of completely racist and unfounded comments about white women, all while having the gall to suggest that it is they who are 'racist', when she herself was the one instigating the racism. She listed absurd accusations, with no evidence, such as the accusation that white women think darker-skinned women exist "to make them comfortable" and that white women think "men of colour" are easier to date because their "whiteness will carry them". Um, I don't think those things. I've never met one white woman who has ever mentioned or even remotely alluded to any of these things. Where is the evidence? Seriously, show me some solid evidence that these two accusations occur as broad ranging trends in society at large. Without evidence, however, this is just straight up anti-white bigotry. Straight up judging people on the colour of their skin. Shocking.
Am I saying racism never exists? Of course not. In fact, the person who posted this video shows us exactly what racism looks like.
I agree with you, 100%. Everyone wants the world to be better, nobody wants to address the real problematic areas, and nobody thinks that they’re a part of the problem and that’s why we keep having a horrible degenerating society.
Can biracial people (half black half white) benefit from their part whiteness?
Sometimes. So much of this depends on how White presenting you are… in looks and behavior… and context and the circumstances of the event too.
@@JuliaChaabsolutely. Interestingly, biracial benefit in the societies of colour they are part of, when white people see their non white part, they get passive aggressive with them, with questions like 'what are you?' So many biracials feel pressure from their white side to prove their whiteness and many can end up rejecting their blackness/asian/Indian etc... to fit in. Many wisen up when they grow up and they learn to fully embrace their identity.
@@JuliaCha i do have blue eyes small nose and lips, and I was a bit darker when I was younger. I was perceived as black and white people would expect me to make them comfortable. But now I'm a bit paler and I've straightened my hair, and white people don't expect me to be overly nice, entertaining etc. I don't have to act the same way anymore. But I don't know how to communicate with white people, as in white behaviours, since I have been perceived as black for most of my life.
I disagree with your point made at 16 minutes in. Performative and judgey. Then again given your branding on social elegance, I’d expect nothing else.
Shaming people is ineffective. It makes them more rigid and inflexible. There can be no progress with such approach.
interesting. thank you.
None of this video makes any sense to me 🤷♀️
Can you elaborate? What aspect of it doesn’t make sense?
@@JuliaCha Almost every sentence could be easily rebutted with the most basic logic. Your entire diatribe is (ironically) the epitome of racism.
@@odettegibbs2238 Those rebuttal thoughts are coming from supremacism. The need to be right. Men do this to you when you want them to hear your perspective. It’s exactly like, “But what were you wearing?”
@@JuliaCha What utter tripe. You are in absolutely delusional victim consciousness. Men do NOT do this to me when I want them to hear my perspective. Because I don't start a conversation with men with a list of nonsensical and incorrect presumptions about them, followed by outrageous and unfounded accusations, then the deluded and self-aggrandising presumption that they would wish to be my "ally" when I am talking unfounded smack about them. Which is precisely what you have done here. Your whole diatribe is the epitome of racism.
@@JuliaCha have you blocked my replies?
So are you saying that as a lighter skinned woman of colour you have a better experience? Not sure this is the case in England. All the same.
I can’t say it’s better. It’s different. I would say lighter skinned minorities can get away with more in certain situations, but in a larger context it’s not better off because it’s only about playing a role in systemic oppression.
I'm a lighter skin black woman in the UK. I got paler the longer I stayed here and I definitely get better treatment and welcome in more spaces.
@ I’m a light skinned mixed race black woman and dr in the UK and there is no difference and neither am I looking for any. It is this kind of mentality that feeds colorism and the overall racism we are all meant to be addressing.
@@ozuniamhthere’s no difference when you’re in a high ranking position because you threaten the hierarchy. It’s also not just skin color but also features. That’s why in the other comment response I mentioned White presenting. However as a light skinned biracial woman you may be able to get away with more than darker skinned women in some personal life situation when people don’t know you and you’re judged based on your looks only.
@JuliaCha very interesting x
We are all humans but society likes to divide people ,with guidance and human respect and guenine acceptance of all people of all colours all genders we can and will be more understanding it's onr human life' and a great understanding understanding more and all races and all genders we have to understand we are living in a changing world.... where we have people who identify as what ever they feel appropriate weather it's neutral or a feminine guy. We have to understand with respect we are all different but same in human beings let's not divide lets understand more together on a deeper level...