Gilmore Girls A pick me girls fantasy
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- Is gilmore girls a picture of feminism or are there misogynistic themes and inklings of pick me girl energy?
#gilmoregirls #imnotlikeothergirls #pickmegirl
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I was so sad to see Rory becoming less and less supportive of the girls around her as she got older. She wasn’t a good friend to Lane most of the time and we all know Lane needed an actual best friend the most.
Facts
i havent watched all of the seasons but lane wasnt always a good friend to rory... she was literally secretely hooking up with dean.
@@Sophnmuffin what?😂😂😂
@@Sophnmuffin when?!?!
@@Sophnmuffin no she wasn't 😂 they were study buddies. But I do think it's bizarre that people hate on Rory so much, as if she's supposed to be this perfect character lol. I love her and Lane's friendship, they can mess up but will recognize when they do and work on changing their behavior.
I think they’re more “cool girl” than anything else. The “I eat everything and stay a size 2” “I’m beautiful and feminine effortlessly unlike the other girls who try too hard” “guys like me more because I’m low maintenance” kind of cool girl.
exactly this is just the "chill girl" in the way they dont care either way and aren't actually trying to be their own person to blend in with the "other girls" in a sense
This is exactly how I viewed it. It's a bit painful to watch at times.
Absolutely. They're not as sexy or sporty as other cool girls, but that's definitely what the writers were going for. The effortlessly beautiful low maintenance intelligent girls. I don't think the writers were necessarily thinking about how much of a guy's fantasy that is.
They’re also just ‘fat phobic girl’
Absolutely
It’s almost like Lorelai and Rory make you feel jealous of their “specialness” but you can’t even blame them or get angry at them because they are not actually “pick me’s”
Honestly, I never thought they were special, I thought they were likeable and relatable.
I wouldn't say the show tried to porttay them as special. The whole point is that they weren't.
Rory was an average girl who has good grades and wanted to go to Harvard, Loralei is a single mother whose conservative parents abandoned because she got pregnant at a young age.
I really never saw any specialness except that which comes with being relatable 😊
@@samf.s.7731 tbh I disagree. Rory is unbelievably beautiful (imo) extremely smart, likeable and gets good looking guys easily, even ones who are super rich, also she's supported by her mega rich grandparents. She is portrayed as special, imo.
@@R_S747 Agreed, she is treated as magical.
@@loosilu yeah like the point of the show to me was to show how if you tell and treat someone like they're special constantly it's gonna lead to their downfall when they face real struggle in life because they've never had to overcome it before, that's why Rory becomes super entitled in the 2016 follow up
@@R_S747 I think you just nailed it. I think that's exactly Rory's trajectory. And she's preying on men who belong to someone else, like she's entitled o them.
The way Lindsay is treated is disgusting. She wants to get married and have kids and cook and clean. That's perfectly fine as long as it's her choice and she has a partner who agrees. Also, Michelle Branch and Matchbox Twenty have some pretty good music. I'm not a fan of Taylor Swift or Arianna Grande, but they are talented and I don't think someone is wrong for liking their music.
Justice for Lindsay
matchbox twenty is literally one of my favorite bands. #justiceforlindsay
Ms Michelle Branch is so coool and PURE NOSTALGIA for me lovee her voicee😩🔥
I agree, I used to be a bit of a music snob for a phase, but as I get older I'm like, wait, that is so rude, people like what they like and my music taste is prob so cringe to other people, lmao. I remember watching this clip in high school though thinking jess was such a jerk! I was like Michelle Branch is sooooooo good, c'mon!! There is a scene where Dean's sister is playing Avril Lavigne and Rory says "We need to get her some Ramones" and I'm like yes, love them too, but Avril is also the MOMENT.
They literally never said otherwise. Not once is her dream diminished. The realities of being dependent on your husband economically in a social and legal system that exploits domestic labour by not recognizing it as work and leave women vulnerable to abuse and exploitation is what is scary to most women about that life, Lindsey is a fairytale version of the housewife dream, she has a support networth and didn't have children with the man she married at 19, who verbally disrespects her and cheats on her. The liberal feminist view that theres a push against women who dream of this life is nothing but propaganda, the scorn isn't towards having kids or cooking, the scorn is towards a system in which these women exist as indentured servants. Western women are so delusional when it comes to domestic works place in society.
i think rory and lorelai are very much what the "i'm not like other girls" trend meant. once everyone replaced this trend with the "pick me girl" concept, the meaning of it really became distorted for me. not everything the "i'm not like other girls" girls do is to get male atention, but it really is to set them apart from other girls and get more oportunities and feel superior, and that's what rory and lorelai would do in my opinion. they were just arrogant, just like richard and emily and all the other gilmores.
This exactly
Yes!! Exactly!
For someone who looked down on rich people because of "privelege" and bla bla bla Lorelai was awfully arrogant and not better than any of them.
Pick me and not like other girls are different
@@radhiadeedou8286 yeah, i agree. i don't think the gilmores are "pick me", i think they just think they are "not like the other girls"
While I agree with your take, Emily Gilmore is not exactly a “traditional housewife”, since she literally has maids - more like a typical rich wife who actually gets along with her husband for the most part and is not a trophy wife
Emily was authentic. And she wasn't ashamed of her traditional ways. She was toxic in many many ways but at least she took responsibility about who she was .
@beverlymarsh6860 I wouldn't say she was always that self-aware. But I agree, for the most part, she viewed her role as important and put her all into it. (I refer to Emily as a "corporate wife," which is how Lorelai referred to her after Jason canceled the insurance company launch party Emily planned. She always saw it as her job to keep the family well-connected and bolster her husband's career.)
@@OzmaOfOzz Authentic how lmao.
She was traditional in the sense that she was always taking care of Richard planning the events for the DAR any of Richard's business meetings/events I'm sure Emily took the liberty of planning even if she paid for catering instead of cooking herself, she pretty much designed the interior of the house from everything to the chairs like she got at mrs. Kim's antiques to the glass apples that she pointed out to Richard that were on the dining room table. She was traditional for a wife who was raised from Rich upbringing where maids and personal chefs are the norm.
I feel like she does fill the most basic housewife expectations: managing the house. Even when society was as smack in the middle of the mid-century nuclear family model, wealth impacted what “managing” looked like, but it was the common denominator
That scene you showed of Rory saying “what does Lindsay do all day? Why doesn’t she get a job?” Was quite ripe. I don’t think Rory had ever had a job yet either. She was in college, but she hadn’t had a job. Later on, she can’t keep a job.
But this was a common adage of the time period (the 90s) when it was the norm to raise kids on McDonalds, TV and ADD medication. Parents like that couldn't possibly understand the time and energy that goes into making all your meals from scratch, spending quality time with your children and spouse, maybe garden and raise backyard chickens, etc. so instead they mocked people like that. Now it's known as the crunchy mom movement and more accepted .
She also literally described her grandmother.
The worst part is that she was only hating on her bc she wanted Dean back
Yeah she literally never worked as a teenager
being in college is equivalent to having a job though imo. As someone who studies law I can guarantee you it's at least as stressful a 9/5 job, maybe even more, bc you don't just need to work, but you need to get the results ppl expect and you can never really rest
I think Rory meant this more in a kind of "how does she spend her time all day?" way and not in a "how does she contribute to the economy" way
it's also worth mentioning how rory and lorelai could eat whatever they wanted and however much they wanted, and since they're traditionally attractive women, it's quirky and even lustworthy or enticing to the men. women who don't fall under what society deems an acceptable or healthy "look" would be ridiculed. thats another pick me trope that rings strong in this show
Yessss I was rolling my eyes so hard at them bringing up how much food they eat and how they eat junk. I have eyes, I can see those two women. They are not eating that crap
Wrong. A lot of skinny women eat junk food.
@Katie H i agree, that their food habits were directly mentioned one too many times
However, the actors did mention that they ate all the food on set
@@katieh8186 although the trope is annoying especially when it’s over done thin ppl with fast metabolisms do infact exsist Katie.
@@GoddesssofMind they do. that's not what i'm saying. i'm saying when skinny people do it it's commonly seen as okay, in this show it's considered funny and endearing. when other people do it they're shamed for being unhealthy.
I don’t think it’s them feeling superiority over other women, it’s them feeling superior over humankind as a whole lol
Thanks, I couldnt pinpoint what made me uncomfortable about the two of them. Like it starts as simple jabs but they can get so casually judgy towards others
Rory was always so glorified by everyone, and that’s why se he was ruined
in the episode when they tell us rory is valedictorian and paris finds out she tells rory that she’s ok “bc she looked into and many valedictorians ended up amounting to nothing” (not exact but you know). the foreshadowing lol!
"she was ruined" um... that's manosphere speak lmao. it sure is the reason she became maladapted and couldn't deal with criticism or hard work but "ruined" is a silly term, nobody is "ruined" due to their flaws
@@UnBesoDeCristal We are talking about a fictional character after all, I'm sure you're familiar how many thought the writers "ruined" Rory on the 2016 return of the show.
@@rachelhernandez7794and talk about moral ethics she didnt bat an eye at sleeping with a married man just because at some point she dated him, check the entitlement and lack of awareness, this is what happens when you spend the whole time inflating a kids ego by the time the bubble pops and reality hits, the end result is a person that has no sense of whats right or wrong, because all their childhood they heard "how special they are" "how amazing and absolutely wonderful they are" so naturally they think the rules of morality dont apply to them because of how much more SPECIAL than the rest of the poor shmucks they are, so who would ever deny them anything they desire since its their God given right to be the exception to any rule because of how wonderful they are🙄😮💨
@@frstnmlstnm8484 What? Rory displayed awful traits in the original series.
Shane was treated awful too. Lorelei called her a freak and Jess was awful to her. All she did was date Jess and I guess because she was sexually active, she was constantly hated on.
Oh yeah, I forgot all about the slut shaming in this show
Even Rory was like that to her like when Shane was on the phone at the salon. Like just because you like her boyfriend and Shane wasn’t necessarily nice to Rory (because she started it) doesn’t give you the right to hate on women. That’s when I started not to like Rory that much bc she was attacking Shane for no reason which goes against what she started out as on the show
@@alexissus5788 exactly! And everyone was still on her side
I do think that Rachel - one of Luke’s other love interests - was almost more of a NLOG in her depiction than Lorelei. She was “cool,” loved travel and adventure and even looked great right after a super long flight.
Yup not that she was intentionally trying to be not like other girls, she was just cool but it shows that Lorelais real competition were other women like that in contrast to Nicole. Luke’s preference has always been quirky unconventional women ie anna nardini, Rachel and lorelai - not Nicole which was made obvious to us. The show set Nicole up just like Lindsay and sherry- “basic” women who are no real competition to the Gilmore girls.
@@Silverscreenfreak i agree with the other parts but why do you think anna nardini is quirky? lmao i know that's besides the point but quirky wouldn't be one of the words i would use to describe anna
@@irem021 the scene in her shop with Rory. Watch that
To add on to that I noticed that the writers made Lorelei only have friends or like other girls who were "unconventionally unattraktive". A huge reason why Lorelai was so insecure around Luke's ex was because she was conventionally beautiful and she saw her like competition.
@joelleweetjewel9948 Yep, I'm confused over that as well, which is why I avoid to use terms like this too broadly to characterize women, since it just doesn't sit right to me.
Seems to me like "NLOG" and "pick me girl" have deviated too much from their original meanings, as there's nothing wrong with girls who have unusual hobbies or tastes, or who prefer more traditionally "masculine" things over feminine or don't wear make up. Female personal expression shouldn't be limited to just accept the norms and resigne to just be like everybody else instead of your individual self, since that would be regressive in a lot of ways.
Now, if the Rachel character was constantly comparing herself to another women and painting herself in a better light for doing things in a "superior" way just because she enjoys odd or tomboyish things, yes that's a NLOG. If she does it for male validation, yes that's a pick me. But if that's not present on her character, (I don't remember the character that well to say if that's the case or not) then why label her like that.
I just think of them as the ultimate girly-girl fantasy. They can eat whatever they want and still be thin. Lorelai loves her job, has a beautiful house, is constantly getting compliments from everyone, and has nearly perfect relationship with her daughter. Rory (at least in the TV show) gets everything she wants, always comes out on top, is loved by nearly everyone, and has gorgeous boys fighting over her all the time. They really don't seem to care what other people think. They don't have to be pick me girls, because men fall all over themselves to date them.
yeah even the guy Rory hated at school adored her ugh ridiculous even
Yeah as much of a GG defender that I am, I’ll freely admit the show is basically just a fantasy come true, mostly lol
It’s very unrealistic and both characters are pretty spoilt.
I do respect Lorelei for always putting her daughter first. I realise that that’s part of the fantasy. But still. Through all her faults, she did ultimately accept full responsibility as a parent and mother.
@@someonerandom8552 there's nothing wrong with a show being a fantasy. It's nice to escape reality sometimes and it's much more intelligent than most sitcoms.
@@doesitmatterwhoiam8838 This is true
@@doesitmatterwhoiam8838true. Why I would like to see a depressing reflection of my imperfect life I enjoy so much watching Gilmore girls ❤ and the outfits are always on point.
The main thing that bothers me about them is how judgey they are about music.
Fr, they would definitely make fun of girls for liking taylor swift lol.
i know right like you not better than me just cuz you like indi music
fr like when lorelai makes fun of luke for reggae music, hep alien calls groups like fleetwood mac “guilty pleasures”, jess makes fun of lindsay’s fav artists, and tbh a lot of other times. they’re honestly rly elitist in gg. a lot of micro aggressions too in general.
I think there was an episode where I think Lorelei made a slight against Linkin Park and I was like “Woah slow your roll there, ma’am, we’re not doing that” cuz I love LP
The episode where she made fun of Luke for listening to reggae music didn’t age well. It struck me as anti-Black on the writer’s part.
I think the show usually strikes a balance between an almost fairytale escapism and real, flawed characters. Amy Sherman-Palladino has discussed how (a) she doesn't care about "the moral of the story" and (b) she wanted to create an ideal "snow globe world" in Stars Hollow. In order to have a good drama, you need flaws and difficulties. But the escapism is clear from the jump: (1) the girls eat junk food and never gain weight or have breakouts, (2) they can afford restaurants, shopping sprees, and an idyllic country home on a single mom budget, (3) the whole town loves them and men fall at their feet, (4) they almost always have something witty to say, (5) they have seemingly boundless energy for every activity under the sun.
The only problems introduced are for story purposes. Otherwise, they are Wonderwoman. Or Electrawoman and Dynagirl. Or any other fictional superheroes. We're supposed to watch these women who can do basically anything, and who live in this idyllic world, and escape the daily pressures of our lives for a while. When they screw up, or when an outside pressure is introduced for story purposes, it makes for good drama, but it can be hard to balance with the superhero aspect. I think we're just noticing that balancing act more in hindsight.
I agree, I don't understand people who complains about the junk food bit. It's a fantasy, not everything has to be so literal.
That’s fair. It almost feels like because they’re women we’re more critical of them.
Not saying that’s the case, just putting that out there.
But it doesn’t have to be super literal, nor does it need to be super idyllic. It was a quirky drama involving flawed characters but had a fantasy element at the centre. That’s fine too
@someonerandom8552 I completely believe that, in general, people are more critical of flawed women. And it's hard because their flaws deserve criticism, but in similar cases with men, it's not looked on so critically.
@@Aelffwynn Amen!
I have no issues with people criticising women for their actions or flaws. That’s valid. But it can become a bit hard to discern between good faith criticisms (which again I have no issue with) and just being overly judgemental because women are harshly evaluated.
I’m not saying men don’t also have harsh standards they feel obligated to uphold, obviously. Just that society can be very unforgiving and the standards are different.
I don’t want to make it seem like a contest, of course. Feel like I need to make that super clear, lest people jump on me lol
This is so well put! I haven't watched the show in years and I don't remember it super well, but it definitely smacks of escapism and fantasy looking back. Everything you said, the eating junk food but still being healthy, the endless men, all of it.
Reminds me of that one line in Little Women where Meg says her dreams aren't any less important than Jo's just because she wants to settle down and start a family. A woman's choice and opinion shouldn't be put down regardless of how different or similar they are to other women.
They're the type of girls to roll their eyes at another girl wearing a lot of makeup because they wake up with flawless features naturally
I feel like race plays alot into it as well. Like Lane is so unique and to me more of a "not like other girls" person than rory - but she's not as glorified by every character like rory. it's like when you are a girl of color no matter how "unique" or "interesting" you are you present poc first and tend to be ignored.
I have thought this for a multitude of years.
Awesome point. And she ends up traditional housewife supporting her husband, with a non-ego driven job and family. She is a grown up. And happy.
I’ve always felt like Lane got looked over. Lane did fun things and had a band. She was cerebral but it wasn’t her identity. For Lane’s character to go the way it did, imo, was unfair. Her life should have ended up more interesting…no shade. I feel like the writers for the reboot really overlooked a possible storyline with Lane beginning to see or reach some success with the band while Rory struggled to find her purpose. After all, Rory was the special one who went to special schools and knew special people right? This could have been an amazing conflict to force her to realize that despite everything she had a level of arrogance. She low key thought that she was better. Better than even her bestie.
@@chamab.6800 I agree! She definitely deserved an extended storyline - it would've been great to see Rory realize Lane's success and that she wasn't better than her. I feel like even in the earlier seasons lane was not written into certain episodes. It would've been cool to see Lane grow into herself because she was such an interesting character!
@Mary-Cate You can't say that if Jane was white, it'd be the same. If she was white, she'd threaten the "superiority" built into Rory and her mother. They are, evidently, the only desirable females in town. The only ones who "aren't like the others".
The OPs comment is right on. When you know, you know.
I always thought it was a little weird how they were like local celebrities and put on a pedestal while at the same time they were supposed to be so quirky and against the grain. I mean the show is just such a fantasy but I mean that's tv for you.
Also it’s not like they have been living there forever, they only moved there pretty recently according to the show, and they seem like very average people? Maybe pretty girls, but not very special..
Sadly very true description of this show. I used to like it but when I watched it as an adult, it looked quite different to me.
I still enjoy it and there are great things we can take away from the show, but you’re right it hits different from an older perspective. To a big extent it’s a great reflection of the times it was made in and how much we’ve grown as a society in understanding some problematic elements of the show.
Yeah exactly!
@@Silverscreenfreak I can still enjoy it too, but it feels different. I used to idolize Lorelei so much.
@@biljam972 When the 2016 revival came out, I was shocked by how much I wanted to smack Lorelei and how horrible she was to her mother.
@@Silverscreenfreak very much agree!! my mom was a single parent, and though i had older brothers too, my mom & i were as tight as them on the show, so the show meant a lot to us and we bonded over it. but seeing clips of it grown up sometimes is just eek to me. but it still reminds me of my late mother so i will always love it even when it makes me cringe lol.
I was at a prenatal appointment and my Dr asked if I worked and I said no I’m a SAHM. And she said that’s a very hard job. My in-laws always mock me and ask when I’ll get a real job so it was refreshing to be validated by another woman.
Power to all the moms and SAHMs...Lord knows I could NEVER be either, lol.
You're so lucky! I wish I could be a SAHM one day but I have no kids rn and unfortunately my in laws also are the type to where the woman should be working too. My mom was a SAHM and I feel so grateful, I'm sure your kids will really appreciate it.
You have the hardest job 👑, this coming from a childless woman.
Lmao not harder than a doctor
The show really appealed to me because I wanted to be the special girl. In hindsight, I feel like Lindsay really got the short end of the stick, given how Dean and Rory slept together.
I guess I should have stanned Lanie all along.
I read a tweet the other day "I am so impressed rory waited till marriage. Not her marriage. But anyway, a marriage."
Lindsay deserved better than Dean. I wish Luke had advised Dean not to marry her when he saw he was clearly still hung up on Rory.
@@wolftownesque True instead he just told Rory not to go to the wedding, maybe if she did, Dean wouldn't have gone through with it and saved Lindsay a divorce and worse headache later, poor Lindsay deserved better, she seemed like a sweet girl, but because she's not RORY GILMORE, we're supposed to hate her? And root for Dean's infidelity?
Let's not forget that one scene with professor Fleming and Rory about Rory's grade where Rory calls the red head "fat" because of her thighs. She also blames Paris for the whole situation of the "affair" instead of getting upset at professor Fleming who is 60 mind you for dating an 18 year old girl (Paris). Which yes Paris was wrong for the affair but I wouldn't even call it an affair because it seems as tho Paris was groomed in that relationship.
also, I could've sworn he wasn't married at the time they started dating, so maybe just regular grooming :/
That was normal female behaviour pre-2010s though. It may seem horrible to us now, but many women of that generation were raised to believe that having larger thighs and hips was ugly and bad. My Gen X mum still comments on other women's "thunder thighs".
@@roseg2239 Yep, I was a teenager in the 00s and I was called fatass 😅 tiny butt and big boobs were in back then.
Wasn’t she dating someone named Jamie when she started dating her professor?
i think the Gilmore girls were critical of women who they felt were not being their authentic selves. Sherry having a baby because she felt she had to (ends up abandoning her). Emily following what was expected of her and being the perfect wife and wanting that life for her own daughter. Rory’s criticisms of Jess’ and Dean’s partners was rooted in jealousy. I also believe that Rory wasn’t being critical of Lane for being a cheerleader rather she felt that Lane wasn’t doing it for herself and had never expressed an interest like that; which is also why I love Lane’s response to her, saying she was just curious about what it would be like, and found that it was actually fun! I don’t think they’re pick-mes just extremely self centered 😂 and also unfortunately victims of the times.
Yup this is the vibe I got. When they saw women who were different it’s like they would judge because they felt they knew that the women weren’t being genuine. Like “who are you trying so hard for?” “You actually like overworking yourself and juggling all these things?” “You don’t want to do anything other than stay at home with children, really?” They were doubtful of women because those things were not THEIR idea of happiness. But that’s problematic too
Yep you’re so right. Like often I get why Lorelie wants to rebel against her mother but at the same time she often just acts like a brat. Rory just gets worse with every season imo like the characters are more developed which shows their flaws with each season but rory just keeps getting worse and feels so much entitlement that it makes me hate her. They just think they’re above everyone with their choices of music and food etc. They are more ‘judgemental girls’ than ‘pick me girls’.
Thank you for this comment thread! This is it.
Thank you for this. You hit the nail on the head. Women often perform femininity because they believe that's what's expected of them. A free thinking woman stays true to herself and doesn't perform for others.
I don't think Rory was an authentic person. She wanted to go to Harvard just because, just to feel superior, she knew nothing about the process of getting accepted, she didn't research about other college journalism programs, she just decided that Harvard was the best and because she's also the best, she will go there and end of story. She didn't accept to think about other careers choice, to try other things and see what she really likes, she was 5 when she decided to be like Christiane Amanpour and that's it, no more thinking is need it. Rory only goal was to prove how incredible superior she was.
I think what makes Gilmore Girls a great show is that you can find things to discuss even so many years after it ended. It’s a show that makes you think, always.
As for the pick me energy, I think Lorelai and Rory are definitely people who look down on certain women, especially traditional women. I don’t think the show is framing the Gilmore Girls as right, they sort of just show all women on the spectrum.
I agree with some people on here about Lindsay, I felt like she was treated so terribly as a character and Rory is really quite the villain in that scenario. I disagree when it comes to Sherri or day Rachel. I think Lorelai is a bit more lenient and upfront when it comes to supporting women and sort of throws in the towel without compromising who she is as a feminist. She realizes it's just complicated with Rachel and Sherri and we see her as a bit insecure around powerful women like that. I think Lorelai sees Rachel and Sherri and views them as these perfect women who have it all. Rachel and Sherri really are the cool girls and I feel like Lor sorta wishes she was cool in that way and just accepts that she is cool in her own way, but doesn't tear them down. She is very much in awe of those two women when she discovers them, but I enjoy that she doesn't go out of her way to be mean to them even if there is jealousy there. I think the jealousy is that they have or have had the men she wants to be with. Rory is a bit more petulant and it is not a good quality. I have to say. But hey, I think we are seeing that the ladies aren't perfect and step in the shit quite often, but hey, that's real. This essay is fantastic btw!! Great editing and just really enjoyable!
I totally agree! Even though, through Rory's lens, she's justified in sleeping with Dean, Lorelai knows it's wrong and calls her out. Lorelai even kind of admires Dean's marriage (in a convo with Sookie) when Rory's not around. She defends Rory against Lindsay's mother, because she's not going to let anyone tear into her daughter in public like that. But she doesn't defend her actions. (She even says something to the effect of, "I know Rory was wrong, but don't do this.) There's a reason we keep returning to this series, and it's not because the characters are perfect angels. We like flawed characters. They're interesting and real.
💯, Lorelai seemed to be more envious of the fact that they weren’t teen moms and really had nothing keeping them from achieving their goals. I think she actually had a lot in common with them, because despite having had a daughter so young, she was accomplishing so many things. And the older I get the more I believe people don’t start seeing their financial lives improving until their 30s when their careers are more settled 😅
Rory is evil
I think they are pick me's in a very "girl boss" sense. They embrace feminity and their friendships but are very much in charge and don't accept other women expressing feminity along with "masculine" hobbies. I also think Lorelia specifically pushes away many traditional norms as a act of rebellion against her mother.
I felt free when I heard that Amy Sherman-Palladino didn't care about Gilmore Girls being a show with a message. However, I do enjoy video essays about it, because it doesn't hurt to reflect about the content we consume.
OMG you just put in words the complicated feelings I had towards the show for a while. I'm so relief to watch some good criticism on this. I always had this feeeling that they where so special, so different, things worked in a diffent way that it worked for other women on the show, and why was that? are they reallly that good? should we be like them so life would be nice for us? It's almost like a feminism only for feminists, other girls are just benighted and don't deserve better.
Feminism is supposed to be for everyone to make their own choices (it's even for men, because if more women can choose to work, more men can choose to stay home if they want. It's more complex than that, but there's the gist.) And Rory and Lorelai pay lip service to that. But at the end of the day, they aren't always supportive of other women's goals because they are flawed characters in a flawed world. For them, it mostly comes down to personal jealousy. Rory liked Lindsay until Lindsay started dating Dean. Lorelai got along incredibly well with Rachel, and they probably would have been friends if not for Luke. Sherri *is* high-strung and has issues, but she's perfectly nice, and Rory knows that. It's through Lorelai's lens of jealousy that we poke fun at her.
This is why I love the fan theory that the tv show is based on the book Rory writes in the revival. And it's her romanticising her life and relationship with her mother.
this is such an interesting take! i'm only part of the way through the show, but i think that i agree with you! honestly i think it was a of a product of its times (the early 2000s) and was pretty forward thinking, but still a little bit sexist, very early 2000s lol.
The way the ate so much junk food and never got sick, not to mention how unhealthy it was and how they never gained weight. I mean who can literally eat so much junk and not get sick and have so much energy? That has *always* bugged me...
It’s more sad when you realised that Lauren Graham barely eat to maintain her figure in the series.
@Lauren Oh, they didn't they just took want they wanted, because they were special.
@@loosilu Right?! Luke gave them free food before he got together with Lorelei and even after she cheated on him and they broke up! What’s up with that?
@@moonbatt Because they were that special! They were allowed to take anything they wanted from a dude who wasn't making a lot of money, because they deserved it.
@@loosilu I know. It just really bugged me!! 😝
I love love love Emily Gilmore. She is a feminist in her own way. I couldn’t stand Rory. I felt bad for Lindsay especially that she married Dean and Dean cheated on her with Rory and Rory didn’t GAF.
Rory thought Dean belonged to her, so his wife didn't matter. I was so disgusted by her behavior.
@@loosilu ikrrr
Emily, who was horrible to literally all the women in her life was a feminist???? She’s a tragic figure, sure….. I think even sympathetic. That is - I get where she’s coming from. But unless feminism suddenly means something different…..
@@bookNerd151 Emily was horrible to who? She was wonderful to Rory. With adult eyes I very much see her frustration with Lorelei, who looks like an entitled brat.
@@loosilu I'll just leave this here. There are more episodes. Might change your perspective on it. ruclips.net/video/IJtFpBdTvms/видео.html
What makes GG so addictive is everyone in that world/universe was living their own life according to their own personality quirks. Even Lane found a way to be herself whilst under the thumb of her hyper controlling mother. Emily loved being a corporate wife. Never once did she seem like a victim. Once she marveled at the fact that Lorelai was a kayak while she was a canoe, but she didn't seem deeply affected by it. If anything bothered her it was the fact that Lorelai had to be coerced to spend time with her whereas Rory loved to hang out with her mother.
Yeah, Lorelai and Rory judged other women (and men) based on their music preference. They did tend think they're better than people that were too mainstream. They weren't perfect, but if they were perfect, people would be complaining about that too. Oh, wait minute, yes, people do complain that Rory's too perfect.
I'm suprised that yoy dont mention that the moment Rory got a boyfrend she had no time for Lane, there is a whole episode about it
Also there’s variations like when it comes to being feminine what about body types? Like being curvy vs thin? Or not looking a certain way whether you’re girly or not? Also many women don’t stay at home because stay at home moms often are isolated . Also idk how Rory is special bc she had great grades many students had great grades it’s normal
It's cause she is pretty as well, Yhea her only true friend was (I forgot her name) but all the boys wanted her, she was pretty
This is a product of its era, this was really progressive concept at the time. The pick me I’m not like other girls started with good intentions, to highlight to women there were other ways to live your life, that you didn’t HAVE to follow the ‘normal’ way of being a woman you could have independent interests and wants and desires. But as all good intentions it then turned into an us vs them thing. That then progressed into the attitude today of, you can be whatever you want, you like what you want and do what you want and still be a woman. Its like in the 80s/90s the attitude of woman can have it all, career and a family, which was an essential transitional stage between trad wife and now, where we are acknowledging that it’s really hard to have it all and shouldn’t really be the aim, it’s about moderation. In both these examples in society the balance tips a lot in both directions before it settles on a middle ground.
as a queer woman, it makes me super uncomfortable to see how conflated any kind of straying from the strictest of gender roles equates to misogyny. it’s ok to not be like other girls. it’s ok to want to be different. and sports and movies are not inherently masculine. we need to stop gendering everything so much
Fellas, is it too masculine to like entertainment?
Justice for Lindsay! They did her so dirty. She did absolutely nothing wrong and everyone was such an as**ole to her! The show normalized Dean cheating on her as if that's okay to do if it's with someone "special" like Rory 🤢
The fact that they eat out so much and eat a lot of crap, but stay thin and brag about being thin/are complemented for this is one of the more annoying aspects to the show. Plus they shame other women for not being as thin as them! - this is a classic cool girl trait to me. I think it’s more cool girl than pick me girl problem seen in Gilmore girls. This cool girl attitude also bleeds into their music, movie and book taste as well at times.
Thoughts on the reboot season? I was disgusted in particular with Rory, who became a reliant-on-a-guy hook-up girl with Logan. I felt like her character in particular, but Lorelai's as well, were out-of-character and neither turned out great. I'd expected more, especially with them both being so "special".
@Halloween All Year Round that pissed me off soo bad. why would you do that to someome? just break up with him and let the man go jss
I was really wanting an explanation of why Rory was failing to flourish. In the series they were the cool ones we wanted to be. It's like the veil was lifted and I suddenly saw Lorelei and Rory as a toxic little codependent bubble who don't accomplish anything but make fun of girls who do. I think Rory fell victim to assuming she was special and special things would happen.
I read a theory that the initial run of the show was the book that Rory says she will write on the reboot. That would explain why she's so beloved and gifted in the og show, but pretty unlikable in the reboot.
@@kimallen9452 Omg that's such a cool theory
They’re not pick mes lol they’re more like manic pixie dream girls who lean more to a feminist dream of what a guy wants. Lindsay, by definition to them, would be a pick me, which is absurd.
I think they were sneaky "pick-me" girls at various times. They made a few snarky comments about other women, specifically romantic rivals, to the guys they liked. But it was not often or overt. I was glad not to see too much of that, because it wasn't a good look for them.
This
They had a superiory complex very simple. They thought they were everything and rarely owned up to their mistakes. I remember rory calling jesses gf not pretty or saying had she looked in a mirror which I actually so pathetic
I've felt this same way about Lorelai and Rory's sense of "superiority" when it comes to what other people like, especially other women. On the one hand, I love each of them for who they are and the ways I can relate to their pop culture tastes. On the other hand, I think they are unrelatable to a lot of women in several ways. There are so many women who can't eat the way they do and not face any consequences in their weight or their skin. They like alternative music, mainly classic rock or certain metal genres, but they make fun of the emo music scene of the early 2000s, which was an entire culture that many "normal" or "popular" girls made fun of at the time. All this to just say that the Gilmore girls are such likable characters but in some ways I really think they are hard to relate to. I'm also speaking as a neurodivergent person, so maybe that has some part in it as well.
Yeah I think the concept of the show is feminist but most of the characters are fake feminists. It was sealed for me early on in season3. Remember that one time Rory goes out of her way to bully Jess’s girlfriend. She goes to her place of work and calls her stupid for talking on the phone. I think she even threatens to have her fired. This is all while she’s dating Dean keep in mind. She never apologizes or anything. She always blames the other woman rather than herself or the guy.. yikes.
I feel so bad for Lane.
I've started watching the show this year, I'm almost finishing it, and I can't count how many times I despised Lorelai's or Rory's behavior, they are so full of themselves, it almost feels like a reward seeing Rory failing in the real world as she got older. Emily is my favorite person, at least she's completely honest to herself. Maybe if I had started it 15 years ago I'd think different, but as a woman with almost 30 years, sometimes it is difficult to be empathetic with their silly pretty girls problems
Lorelei was the epitome of sad little rich girl rebel- she was so ungrateful to her parents and where the hell did get the money to open the inn??? My siblings and their friends were obsessed with it so i caught it on tv a lot in my teens. Rory was so smug also. Sorry I had to complain. Lol
@lizziedrucker9586 I totally agree with you, I feel like I watch the show for Luke and Jess only lol
@@lizziedrucker9586 YES, the amount of financial privilege they had bc of emily and richard! They paid for rory's entire education and they kept acting like they were these horrible evil people. Also rory dropping out? that made me so mad, i remember it clearly, bc i always wanted to go to an ivy league when i was small, but i knew i couldn't bc money and then rory just throwing that away
I must disagree, both Richard and Emily are incredibly narcisstic, I can see so much of myself inLorelei in the way the parents are all the trying to gaslight you and guilt trip so can control you. That is shy she ran away. Not to escape marriage but to escape emotional abuse. The parents refuse to listen to her and they nebdr give her any emotional support. All that goes to Rory the golden child.
Love this ❤️ let’s support one another. The fact that we call working for a corporation a true desire and raising children an “adaptive preference” is a rant in itself.
Cool video but just so everyone knows(bc i see some commenters mixing them up),a 'pick me' and 'not like other girls' girl are very different breeds(they interlock a lot though)
A pick me:puts other women down for male validation,wants to be chosen(pick me,choose me,love me)
Not like other girls:put other women down so they can feel special/better about themselves,usually are very insecure
Throughout the show I feel they honestly fall into both these categories😂I still adore this show though,juiciest drama I've ever seen
Thankfully I watched this show as an adult and immediately saw the “pick me” stuff.
The whole “they’re not like other girls! They eat!!” was so tiring.
I love Lindsay Lister so much. She deserves the entire world, and Arielle Kebbel is so cute. I hate that Lindsay was vilified for normal girlfriend/wife behavior like not trusting her partner’s ex, and also vilified for getting joy out of trying to please him, and fulfillment out of domestic work. Her absolute joy at getting the roast beef right, her cuteness in her Marilyn Monroe dress, when Dean literally was just cheating on her and has been verbally and emotionally abusing her for doing her best but not being Rory… it breaks my heart! I loved the little bread basket shaped like a duck, and I hope she kept it in the divorce. I just love Lindsay so much, I want to give her an enormous hug.
Yes, she deserves such a happy ending
Literally been saying this for yeaaaaaars
Ty for posting!!!
🫶🫶🫶
At the end of the day, Rory was a teen, she didnt understand that (in the original series, I won’t ever talk about the reboot)
Sometimes everyone forgets that its not only about what is being said but also who says it. I dont think the showmakers wanted us to agree with everything what a major character says. Why is everyone looking at these characters as role models? For example: Jess mocks Lindsey's music taste, because he is a character who would do that. Not because he is right. When a character says something it tells more about them than what they are talking about.
This is so real. I love this video. And I totally agree.
🫶🫶
Jess “I’m not like other boys” Mariano
The show very clearly calls Rory out on her behavior. They made a point to demonstrate how Rory's comments where hurtful to Lindsay. They portrayed Lindsay as a victim. A victim of the patriarchy. I also think that Rory's snobby attitude was intentional to demonstrate her grandparents influence on her. We are supposed to recognize these characters are flawed.
True, and we love a complex female character 😇
how was Lindsay a victim of the patriarchy? 😹 she was a victim to a horrible man who got what he wanted but was not satisfied. a man who was still in love with his ex. that is not the patriarchy.
tbh, I think some of this makes sense.
Since, a part of it is growing up; and we define more and more roles accordingly.
For instance, in middle school, from bullying girls can be sl-t shamed.
But you grow up and realise -- you don't need to do that.
You think when you're younger, that girls have certain roles and interests. And you grow up and realise, there is more.
Like, it doesn't make you more feminine or masculine to like certain things -- and I think the characters realise this. Like, when Lane became a cheerleader and cam be understood (AFAIK) and for Rory's roommate -- it became normal she likes sports.
To be fair, this is also from the perspective of the main characters -- and we see how they experience and accept new things!
That's my opinion.
(But as people, can they be a judge? Yea.)
Great video ! I completely agree with your analysis on the men's opinion mattering so much more in the series. When you think about it, GG falls short on Its feminist promise (as most "feminist" shows from the 2000s do, like SATC or BTVS). Seeing Rory just waiting for her suitors to fight for her when she should have just walked away has aged rather poorly and is really infuriating. Also, thanks for editiing a "so special" compilation. Didn't the writers know about the "show, don't tell" rule?
I think they know the rule, which is why they showed us they were not that special even though everyone said that. We saw especially Rory realising over and over again that she is not special, there are many people who have just as good grades as her or even better, that she is insecure and jealous to a point were she sleeps with a married man just because she thinks she's sooo special (which she was told all her life) and she can't handle any rejection, romantic or professional.
Now I dont agree with the social media definition of the pick me girl, which is the "im not like other girls" girl, but gilmore girls does often have that energy with Lorelai and Rory. It's both Lorelai and Rorys thing to be fiercely independent women, which is why the show looks down on women who are the opposite, the traditional housewife who is dependant on a man, particularly Lindsay. Emily is not totally reliant on being a housewife as she does have her own career, where even while Richard is in hospital from his second heart attack she is calling clients. Therefore Emily is somewhat business/ career orientated just like Lorelai and Rory.
I do agree that the treatment of Lindsay was horrible, there was such a lack of empathy for this character and portraying her as shallow. however personally I do not think being a woman like Lindsay, pouring their heart and soul into their man, is beneficial to women as a whole. They also look down on Logans mother, who is basically a Trophy wife. The show has many strong female bonds and friendships which I like about it. And I do think its healthier for women to focus on not necessarily a corporate job but a project that is theirs, that does not involve a man - like Lorelai and Sookie creating their dream inn, Rory's dreams to go to an Ivy League school and do journalism. So I do think the show leans more feminist than pick me, where romantic relationships are very meaningful part of life but so is your dreams and female friendships/bonds. Men are very attracted to the Gilmore girls in the show, and even other ambitious female characters like Paris
Its like the show writers subconsciously believe that men like the strong independent women, and that women who are like this are happier. I do not disagree with this personally, theres more to life than raising children and staying at home in isolation. Linsday stuck around bored at home waiting for Dean to give her his time and attention and Dean trying to work all the time to provide her with a home etc, it is not a healthy relationship dynamic and women need these other aspects of life to be happier and more fulfilled.
Emily doesn't have clients. She cancelled dinner reservations.
My take is this: I saw another video that talked about how, though the show centers around Rory’s coming of age, it’s really about Lorelei growing up. Part of that growing up was when she realized that so much of her personality was rebellion against her mom. She acknowledges several times in the show that she wants a man and “the whole package.” I think her judgment on other more traditional women was based on her insecurity of not having that and secretly wanting it.
That was her major flaw. The problem Rory had with her development is she enshrined Lorelei so much, that she viewed her flaws as attributes to aspire to. If Lorelei insulted another woman out of insecurity, Rory thought of it as “oh, that is what will make me like my mom who I want to be like.” The thing is, Lorelei ends up growing out of that.
I think that you should be how you want to be without putting down others I used to not like wearing dresses or makeup but I never put down other girls for it and I was actually put down for it a few times pick mes aren’t always just the tomboys there’s girly ones and tomboy ones (not that that’s what your videos saying in this video I agree with everything you said) I just hate how some people think just because a girl doesn’t like super feminine things that means they’re a pick me now if anyone calls you a pick me because of the things you like they’re actually the real pick me
I couldn't agree with you more! 🫶
You're wrong. Loreali is a girls girl. She's always supportive of all the women in her life, alot of her issues with traditions come from her strained relationship with her mother and the life she grew up with.
The issues Loreali has comes from her inability to teach Rory what's right and wrong, with the fear Rory will run away like she did as a child if she's too firm. Which is an issue as we see Rory never has to confront all the hurt she's out people through, esp Lindsay
No she always bullies people be so fr.
She's supportive of women as long as they're not prettier than her
@@rorolovesfolklore who did she ever bully?
@@gilmoregirlz-h7j she body shamed half of the characters
@@rorolovesfolklore Lorelei body shamed? I remember Rory doing that but not Lorelei. can you tell me who so I can look it up?
yeah sorry, I'm gonna still adore this show with all my heart. This show was my childhood and my safe place, also why is trending now on the internet to call everything the "pick me girl"
You can adore a show while still being critical of its more problematic themes
Exactly. I agree with some views but they’re just fictional people in a fictional place
Saying gilmore girls are pick me girls is the most pick me girls thing that ive ever heard
I think this is kind of missing that Emily's life is entirely built around being her husband's wife, living up to the standards of being with him, and in the final season she confronts that part of her life.
I disagree with Lindsay. She was the victim, she was doing her best and then her husband cheated on her. Case point: Lorelai confronts Rory and tells her she did a mistake by having sex with Dean.
The show is saying that Rory was wrong. There is no pat in the back. And when she is forced to confront the people she hurt, Rory realizes she was wrong.
And the show tell us many times they make mistakes, and are wrong. The characters are complex, I beleive people are just nostalgic and look at the show with rose colored lenses, but I never got that the Gilmore Girls were perfect. They were just people.
It was a huge hit because the charcates are complex like in real life. Everyone is different shades of grey and you got to admit that humans are to be accepted for their flaws and all.
Just because the stupid trend of hating gilmore girls main leads is up people are fully bashing Rory and Lorelai. I agree they were bitches but most of us are too, and we need to stop expecting boring bland 100% politically correct characters
I have and will always adore this show and the world of its characters, my mother and I watched it as it was airing and it will always be a special bonding thing for us. That being said, it isn't perfect and the writing does like to get wrapped up in its own "quirkiness". And as a side note, for a show as wholesome and sweet as it is, the scene of Dean berating Lindsey at the kitchen table is hard to watch. It's framed in an almost physically abusive light and still one of the scenes that irks me the most from the show.
I think part of the issue was the writers trying to balance making them humanly flawed characters with them being likable, which may be part of the reason it came out with them seemingly being “special” but also judge mental
Let’s not attack girls who don’t like things that aren’t traditionally feminine. It’s fine to be a tomboy or to like sports and not like makeup and things. It’s not ok to trash other women and steal men from other women and change yourself to please a man. And there’s plenty of girls who are super feminine who do that.
They make fun of other women who want to be traditionally feminine and be housewives (like Lindsay)..
This video perfectly articulates why my obsession with Gilmore Girls stopped. When I was in my early teens I loved the Gilmore Girls and wanted to just be like them. But with every rewatch I became more and more insecure about the fact that they would probably not like me or judge me because I dared to like and enjoy different things.
plus their conversations were pretty boring actually. I wouldn't find them fun to hang out with
this show is much better written than its given credit for. they aren't pick mes, they're complicated...like women in real life. lindsay and sherri arent depicted as villains but as antagonists, based on how different they are from the protagonists. but the show is very upfront about rory being wrong in that situation and sherri is depicted as sweet and warm for the most part, even tho she's lorelai's opposite. (i assume her arc ended the way it did cuz the actress didnt wanna come back to the show.)
the writers also dont act like the gilmore girls being "special" means theyre treated any better than other women. both rory and lorelai are dogged out by men at several points throughout the series and rory realizes shes not special as soon as she reaches the real world. i think that some ppl are "special" but that distinction comes from the work they put into their lives and their character. THAT is what makes the gilmore girls special: they're constantly putting work into becoming better ppl when it's not asked of them and most other ppl wouldnt.
as another commenter pointed out, we're all victims of internalized misogyny and trying to sort women into roles of "pick me" or "not pick me" is another facet of that. what makes the gilmore girls so interesting is that they arent that simple and the show doesnt act like they are.
I’ve never heard of a “pick me” girl before so thanks for educating. I was more of an outcast in school but I always loved the show because the age gap between my mother & i is the same as lorelai & Rory
they always state that gilmores eat so much but they are still so thin and effortlessly beautiful without sports or diet etc
This is so true. It's still my favourite show though. It's sweet and nice while portraying people with their lights and shadows. I find Lorelai funny, I think she has a good heart but I also cannot stand her most of the time because she's quite selfish and immature 😅
SPOILERS - Lindsay is not portrayed as a less valuable girl at all. She's shown worrying about making perfect dinner for Dean to contrast Rory's unfair assessment that Lindsay is "bad" for Dean. The scene is literally showing Rory
feeling guilty and sad about having slept with him. Prior to that, it is actually said that she's still learning to cook and is not good at it. So she's not that different from Rory, just more willing to make Dean happy. And that
is not shown as a bad thing - it's actually shown to make it very clear that Rory has hurt someone who absolutely did not deserve it at all. The viewer is supposed to feel bad for innocent Lindsay and disappointed in Rory, but sympathetic to Rory's guilt that is getting bigger every time she sees Lindsay being nothing but nice and kind.
I don’t really see them as pick me at all. I think those story lines between them and the other women were there to create tension and interesting storylines. I’m sure they can be analyzed deeper to examine different archetypes of femininity but ultimately I don’t think any of it could be described as pick me behavior regardless. People judge each other all the time not all judgments are pick me judgment, and the idea that no woman could ever judge another woman is just ludicrous. Not gonna say if it’s right or wrong definitely depends on the situation but like I said people judge and have judgments it’s normal.
Women, judging other women for being traditionally feminine is not pick me, it’s actually pretty common amongst feminist and maybe it’s not right, but it’s a little bit more complicated than saying it’s all a matter of “choice”- we can get into a whole conversation about “choice feminism”.
Exactly. Be a housewife all you want, but don't claim it's feminist.
Analyzing characters through this "pick me" lens is really hard because it's not a real feminist tool to use to pick apart a story. Seemingly definitions of a pick me girl change according to every person and there are major contradictions in it. I don't think either of them are that at all Instead their behavior is rooted in them being a network show with some need for conflict and being based on romances. That and the fact it was written in 2000s 2010s where there were a "bad" feminist stories. I think you're analysis should be deeper and not rely on internet terminology.
Also the show debuted in 2000... So let's remember that.
The food is very pick me. They are cool and beautiful and skinny but can eat whatever they want without gaining weight. They never exercise ether. It's very "cool girl" energy
I like your take. And I agree with most of it, but I don't 100% agree on one specific point, which is that it's always the man's choice. Rory and Lorelai make plenty of romantic choices, though I think one of Rory's biggest flaws that ends up hurting people in her life is her own indecisiveness. She had every chance to choose between Dean and Jess, for example, but she never did because, let's face it, she's a teenager and doesn't have the emotional maturity yet to know how to deal with a love triangle. So when she stayed on the fence and didn't make the choice when she had the opportunity, THEN Dean made it for her. As for Lorelai, she chose to run off and leave Max almost standing at the altar. And Sookie took the initiative to ask out Jackson. Yes, Dean and Chris had to choose between their respective sets of two women, but I don't think the show says that the choice is always in the hands of the men.
I love Rory, and she’s one of my favorite characters, but her one character flaw which the actress saw in the writing was that Rory started becoming not one of the girls because I think the actress described her as being one of the best well-rounded characters and then the writers wanted a character flaw which she didn’t have and I feel like I didn’t need, but then again, all characters need character a flaw so they gave ger one, and it didn’t work to me, and with her character. but I like Rory because she’s one of the most relatable characters at least to me as an early 20 something. i just hate how they wrote her character in the later seasons sadly.
edit: speaking on Lindsay’s side, I feel like they portrayed her character really crappy. wanting to be a housewife is not a bad thing and liking the trendy fads and mainstream music of today isn’t bad either (i love matchbox twenty and other less mainstream i love it all) but it really bothered me that they made her up to be this person who always wanted to have children and wanted to cook for her husband etc but also made it up to be a bad thing because wanting to do that and only that is fine by me. But criticizing someone just for having a basic dream annoys me because everyone’s definition of a dream is so totally different and I feel like bashing another one dream just because you don’t believe in it or you don’t think it’s right is also wrong.
Only considering that if they eat all the trashy food they do during the serie, they would probably not be skinnies or would end up in the hospital. This certainly is very pick me fantasy.
I can eat a lot and not gain that much weight but if I ate that way, a quick blood test probably would show I was unhealthy
Why do Rory and Lorelei have to be perfect to everyone? They are normal to the time period of the early 2000s. Back then it was all Avril Lavigne versus Britney Spears. It was cool to be different but you also had to be white. Back then all the cool girls were wearing makeup and failing at school so this show was different in that Rory was a smart good girl who was beautiful and different. Hating on Lindsey was normal for Rory because she’s human. She wanted Dean back. It’s not a message on Rory being a feminist or a women hater, she’s just human. Are you perfectly nice to everyone always? Probably not. I mean I don’t go around having affairs but I do sometimes get jealous of people who are with someone I want. Back then things were sifting from being a SAHM to being a working mother. In this economy it’s difficult to survive on one income. So at the time, more and more girls were encouraged to do well in school like Rory. I would say that there is a shift to even more STEM based majors and careers than the journalism that Rory chooses. It’s a shift that happened in our society. Rory and Lorelei don’t have to be perfect characters who appease everyone and everything. It’s a show that fit well for its time period
I completely agree Lindsay was treated like trash, and it really felt like you were supposed to hate her, but I never did. I found her boring because we literally know almost nothing about her, not because she wanted to get married or liked mainstream music. I really felt this was unfair. Also we were supposed to be so mad when Lindsays mom "attacks" Rori and by extension Lorelai, but you have to remember Lindsay is only 18-19 at this point and I think any parents would feel protective and might defend their child, even at 18-19. Do I think it was super mature that Lindsays mom did this, no but I find it completely understandable, and honestly I was like, "Good rori is going to have some consequences" But then no real consequences. I liked this show, I found it fun to watch, but even as I watching I found myself wondering why I felt a little annoyed by Lorelai and Rori. I think its because of the exact things you mentioned, it's like if you don't live like Lorelai or Rori then you are "wrong" somehow and unhappy. The men who choose to leave them are always painted as wrong for doing do, and always are unhappy with new women and always come back. I think especially Dean had a real reason to leave Rori. But it was like he wasn't allowed to be happy without her. (Until the sequel if you consider this canon and even then he still seems like "in awe" of her in a weird way even from the short reaction in the market...) And honestly, I didn't think either Lorelai or Rori was all that special. They reminded me of a lot of people I have known. I think they are written this way on purpose, so that many different women or girls might see themselves in them. I will admit I felt kin to Rori in many ways, being a studious and hyper driven person who also suffered a burn out in college. Lorelai and Rori were many things, to appeal to many people, but honestly there was nothing so unique about them that I understood why men were so obsessed. But I know the point is just supposed to be a cozy fantasy about small town life, so I'm probably taking it too serious! Also the "pick me" thing extends to the Gilmore girls eating habits as well. They are able "to just eat so much teehee! Not like the other girls!" I love this show but it definitely has some issues. UGH and LANE, that whole situation is a mess. The only thing I liked about the last Netflix season was I found Rori being miserable might be realistic with how she treated people sometimes. You are right, Lorelai and Rori may not be conscious "pick me" girls, but there is some definite pick me energy on this show.
Rory turned out to be very mean I think. Lorelei seems to mature in a positive light, and slowly grow into a better person (not that she’s perfect). But Rori seems to grow into a mean girl. I think she treated Lindsey and Shane really rudely, even Lane at times. I don’t understand why Rori was so self absorbed. She led so many guys on and then she just left them. I think she treated Dean, and eventually Jess, like objects.
Rory is as complex as a complex female character goes
lorelai was always very supportive of everybody in her life. the reason she didnt like sherry is bc she had feelings for christopher and right when they were about to get together sherry gets pregnant. lorelai knew it was right to let chris go but it still hurt her a lot and she didnt even want to be at the baby shower.
rory had a lot of faults but she was also a teen/young adult. i think rory was just shocked when lane became a cheerleader and the fact that they didnt go to highschool together just escalated it. when you think if lanes character you probably wouldnt think cheerleader AND RORY LITERALLY GOT OVER IT AND SUPPORTED LANE ANYWAYS. rory also always thought she was better because everybody portraits her as perfect. she also never did anything for men or to be different. the lovers all came to her(also i just want to bring this up, dean and rory having an affair was EQUALLY
DEANS FAULT if not more. if u watch the scene prior to the affair, rory asks dean repeatly about their relationship status and dean flat out lied saying it was over. yes rory couldve waited until they were actually divorced but she trusted dean and thought it was done on both ends)
Honestly I think lindsey gets way to much love by the communith. And while dean and rory were ALSO absolutly terrible. Lindsey had so little compassion and respect for how much dean was working to support her. And while dean was working 3 jobs, she was learning how to cook. And while I dont think thats a bad thing if thats the dynamic both want. She ahould have respected more that he was gonna be tired, or not have time for her like before. (Btw this is not excusing the way he yells at her for almost nothing. He was def worse that she was.)
There is literally a several episodes where Lorelai questions if she only likes the things she likes cause she was sure her mother would disapprove. Most loudly questioning while discussing her love of pop tarts. She was spiraling about it and all
I don't think they're pick-me girls. Rory got into Harvard, Yale and Princeton on her own merits and solely because she wanted it for herself (and Lorelai). It had nothing to do with impressing a guy. That's probably one of her greatest achievements and it was completely a thing she did on her own. I also don't like the whole concept of a 'pick-me girl' a lot of the time because aside from obvious cases like Jennifer Lawrence it seems like more of a lazy putdown of multidimensional women other women are jealous of.
yes to everything you said
I always thought it was weird when people reduce this show to talking about who Rory should have ended up with. I disliked all of the guys being with her. I was much more interested in the deep relationships between the female characters
That’s the trademark of a lot of Amy Palladino characters. Midge Maisel is the same: she talks a lot, she enjoys feminine things like clothes and such but she’s special, different than everybody else. To be honest I grew tired of this kind of characters because they’re always very selfish but they are portrayed as fascinating and different.
Midge with the invisible children!
midge is a lot better than these two
the fact is that this show was from the early 2000s and back then we all accepted the jokes and didn't think too hard about feminism and mysoginism, it was just a 'cool mom, the uptight daughter and the funny small town people'
This was an amazing video essay and you have a new subscriber but DAMN the music you use adds to much emotion
i have yet to watch this show, I've heard great things and bad. i love your view of this. i also think their behaviour is a product of the 90's feminist wave that empowered women to be independent and have an income on their own. I think it was still too early to give out a well-rounded female character that can both have a family and a satisfying job. there are a lot of stereotypes out there in the media, this is just another one, not the most harmful but definitely still a "cool girl", who is beautiful and intelligent but is all to be better than their female counterparts.
Richard and Emily were always based to me. Loreali and Rory were very questionable.
The “they’re Gilmores” “she’s a Gilmore” positioning was an instant platform for infinite pick me moments in the series. You can be girly, tomboyish, or even an occasional supporter of women (who you’re not competing with) and still be pick mes. Rory was girly but still body shamed (ballet girl and more), sex shamed (Jess’ fling), and even lifestyle shamed Lindsay. They either openly or subtly demonstrated themselves as different to highlight themselves as better or more desirable even if men weren’t always around to see that. I guess that’s why Rory’s ending and Lorelai’s clearly unsatisfied ending are so… funny.
And what’s odd is she did that to Jess’s ex but when having an affair with Dean she and Dean constantly were involved sexually rather than having simple dates and when they did it seemed awkward, dull and they seemed almost annoyed that with each other
@@enoki1031 I dont remember that in the show 😭 dean went with Rory to the dance, to that fancy restaurant on their anniversary, he went with her to the ball (which he clearly did not want to but still did) he made her a bracelet he made her a car... like you can't say it was ALL sexual with dean.
@@gilmoregirlz-h7j that’s why I said when having an affair with Dean, their first two season relationship was very wholesome (although still a bit odd because of deans sorta controlling behavior) but after that they tried extremely hard to be the way they were and even they realized it was mostly sexual
@@enoki1031 okay, I agree with you there.
Very interesting observations. I watched this show in its early years and I always enjoyed it. I can’t say I’ve seen ‘Rory’s demise’ so to speak, but you bring up good points.
I think they were pick me girls. At the time, quirky and witty was the “different” and they never had a problem putting girls under them or shaming their interests if it was considered sub culture “cool”. I only watched GG till half of season 2 because I couldn’t stand the writing of Lorelai’s “bickering” -- it was just too annoying for me BUT I understand why so many people love the entertainment of the show.
Whether you can imagine that or not, most "quirky" ppl are neurodivergent.
We don't *want* to be different, in fact, we hate it until we learn to own our weirdness.
Lorelai and Rory and many other characters in GG are coded as neurodivergent ppl who own their "weirdness" which is why they're role models for many neurodivergent ppl.
Being viewed as *wanting* to be special, on the other hand, is one main way in which neurodivergent ppl experience discrimination, bc we're being told that we put on a show when we're just our true selves but viewed as normal if we *actually* play pretend (= masking). 🙄
And ... another way of discriminating ND ppl is to call our conditions a "trend", similar to your view of it being sth that was "cool at the time". 🙄
@@cm12345_ wait what does “sth” mean?
My comment wasn’t discriminatory by any means; I was sharing my perspective of the characters to a fictional story. I didn’t like the way the writers wrote Lorelai’s “bickering” moments when she was trying to cut the tension or awkwardness of those moments. Nothing wrong with being annoyed at a fictional character 🤷🏻♀️ or seeing a handful of moments where the two main characters were “pick me’s” - I’m not sure if pick me has a different meaning on the social media platforms but I know it to be people who want the validation of others, always. Lorelai and Rory show that in many ways in the short 2 seasons I watched. It okay for people to call a show entertaining or annoying and have their opinions about characters without having it be offensive to real people in our everyday lives or even through the internet. I really hope you don’t read any of this as offensive or speaking down to you or any neurodivergent people, it was intended to be read as a a comment of opinion - I was legitimately speaking of the fictional characters in this fictional story.
If you could let me know what sth means that would help me understand your last sentence. Thanks 👍🏼
@@veeguenz1306 calling someone a "pick-me" is not a good look.