Wow. This comment has opened something in me Bubba. Monotony. The monotonous grind of work, then family, then rest. Back to work. Your comment has awoken something inside me. It's as if I was trapped in a ball. All my adult memories and experiences trapped in this clear ball. Then after reading your comment I am now my little boy self, holding this ball. This ball with wall my adult experiences. I am now my childhood self, looking at all the adult memories floating around in this clear ball in my hands. You have awoken something in me Bubba. And I greatly appreciate it. I will keep you updated, but I belive my life has changed sincereadingyour comment because you have taken me from being in that trapped ball, to being the little boy, with all his dreams and ambitions. You have freed me from the cage.
Because I too, had forgotten that this is my first time living. My only time living. Amd I forgot to live. Wow...I have tears flowing down my cheeks right now. I'm sorry for the long winded comments. Thank you Bubba. I hope you read these
does anyone else feel like a different person from the past? Like you’ve changed into a completely different person but, your past clings onto and you feel like you will never be as good as a person you see yourself?
I can relate to what you’re saying. I too feel like I’ve changed a lot from the person I was in the past. It’s a strange feeling when you look back and hardly recognize the person you used to be. But I believe that every experience, every change, makes us who we are. And it’s okay to feel like you’re not the same person. It’s a sign of growth and personal development.
You will always be your own hardest critics brother - it's only natural as time goes on that we change and grow, sometimes we become entirely different people Your memories serve to remind you of how things were once - the question is, will you continue to look to the past? Or will you keep your eyes firmly planted on the now, continuing to do the best you can for tomorrow? Becoming the best version of yourself happens a step at a time, good luck! I'll be rooting for ya.
I'm somehow grateful I'm not the only one feeling this...And how this complex feeling was put into words. Cuz sometimes I cannot explain it by myself. Take care bro❤
The image is FREAKING ME OUT: Back when I was an alcoholic I was at a party and got kicked out (deservedly) because of my behaviour, it was the depth of Winter and snow was falling, it was already thick on the ground. I was trying to walk home in the snow and realised my feet had gone fully numb "Wow" I thought "It must be really cold." Being drunk I soon stumbled and fell into a snow bank at the side of the road, I could feel the cold taking over and thought to myself maybe it would be better to just stay here and wait for the cold to take me away forever. I looked into the sky and thought how strange the sky looks when it snows at night and the street lights are on, not grey nor purple nor black nor orange but a wierd mix of all of them. I remembered having the same feeling as a child, confused by how wierd the world looks when it snows, how magical and eerie, calm but spooky, when I was a child I was frightened by the thought of how scary being lost outside in the snow would be, now here I was in exactly that situation, freezing and alone. That small amount of nostalgia was enough to get me to force myself back to my feet and try and go home again, I don't know how but I managed it. As I was walking home I saw a STOP sign and for some reason it hit me that it was meant for me and a literal sign to Stop drinking. I've been sober for ten years now. (Edit: Amazed at this response, so heartened and encouraged by all of your words so thank you. I talk about my journey on my channel you can find out more about my path on there. I am in the process of writing various pieces and the response to this has been the spur I needed to finish these projects. If you're out there lost in the snow yourself just get up and keep going, you will find your home one day.)
ive learned from experience that surreal shit like this always comes from someone whos suffered on levels most people will never experience, i empathize with this a lot.
Forgiveness isn’t about that person you’re forgiving, whether it’s someone who’s wronged you, or that past version of you that did those things you regret. It’s not about forgetting the harm that was caused, it’s not about evening the cosmic scales. It’s about letting go. Letting go of your anger, your resentment, your fear of history repeating. It’s about accepting reality for what it is, not what could have been. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It’s about choosing to move on.
Thank you for this, i've been thinking about this a lot lately and never really knew how to get the pain, the struggle out of my heart. This comment has helped me and so many others. ❤
mm thank you i just now had someone bring the my eyes of something i was still holding onto and this made it much more clear to me reading this. i just wish i could say sorry to the ones iv wronged for me still holding a grudge of someone that wronged me. i lost some great people being stuck in my head thinking of how they would do me the same way when in reality so many people are truly different and idk why i wanted them to change into someone there not just make me happy. now it’s time i put fourth all that love into myself i was trying to find in others. 🫶🏼🙏🏼
Wow. Wow you're actually right and i needed to hear that, im in the middle of trying to be better and then i take twenty steps back, then ten ahead, then five back, then fifteen. like this is driving me insane, even though im SO much better than before, i just can't give myself any credit, im not good enough yet, why can't i just be perfect. So reading this personally helped me it touched me so, thanks. alot.
A comment section that actually feels like it’s full of real human beings, commenting on sentiments with opinions I can totally resonate with. Incredible
No? Like forgiving yourself is none of my business? Like if I treat someone wrong, I can't do anything, they either choose to forgive me or they don't, that's not my decision, not my action, no nothing I can and should treat them better if they even wanna have me around, but if I force myself in their life that's just icky
@@yuli161-daedalusI think they are saying that forgiving yourself when you hurt someone is only part of the way. The person you hurt requires reparations just as well and only focusing on yourself and how you feel is like stabbing someone and checking your own body for wounds. It’s not healing.
I think it has an important play. Past you was who you were then, and your actions of then also made up of who you were then. But that yes, does not mean that past you is suddenly now you today as well. Although, I think it's important not to forget what you've done and who you used to be. It's good to forgive yourself and to especially move on or strive to do/be better, but to keep in mind as to why you are who you now are. You did those things or felt those ways, and now you've learnt from them and changed that. Or you've realized you don't like it and want differently. It does not define you today nor should be how people perceive you if you've changed, but it should be respected that you have been there, realized it's not the place or thing for you, and changed for the better. Many people refuse to change or even like it when they're in those places or doing those things. You did it and chose not to anymore. That should be given credit to and realized more often. You didn't learn to be a good person today by having experienced and learned nothing.
@@ayana9741your life is YOUR life. Be happy with yourself at the end of the day and try to be good to others! We are all doing this thing called life and death. But most of us don’t see it that way on a day to day basis…
@@dassboot9332 You’re right, that change in perspective is essential for me. I really love the maturity in perspective you have, I’ll learn to tap into that thought process as well. Lately though, I’ve been doing better for myself, so there’s been progress!
And what you do right now in this moment is how people will view you in 10 years. Everyone has a different version of you in their heads. No two people view you the same and nobody will ever view you how you “want to be viewed”. Perception is based off of wayyy too many variables for the stars to align. The highest operating frequency is that of authenticity. Be true to yourself. Start prioritizing yourself like you’re responsible for another human. Treat yourself how you want others to treat you, spoil yourself how you want others to. Take better care of your vessel than your car. No negative self talk, look for what you’re grateful for. The more you align yourself with your values and stay true to them day to day the people will see you as genuine all the time and not just for brief periods.
I used to see myself as a heavy burden. I never appreciated my mind, my sould and the way I see the world. The years went by like this. It was tiring, but the fatigueness was the only feeling I knew... So I clinged to it. One day, while my mother and I, we were looking at the old pictures, I found my childhood picture. It was a funny but lovely one at the same time. I went to my room. I took another picture from my drawer. I was in the second grade in that picture. She looked.. so naive. And then, all the things I said to myself appeared in my mind. "You're not enough, You'll never be enough, You're not pretty or smart, You are a failure, You are embarrassing." And I imagined myself saying those things to my childhood version. I could hear her quiet tears. She would probably cry herself to sleep, and the next day would act like nothing happened. In the night, it would happen over again. After this, I stopped and realized a thing, the girl in that picture was enough, she would always be enough, she was pretty and smart, she was not a failure and she was not embarassing at the same time. So.. Why was I calling myself these? I was the same girl. I grew older, but I haven't grown for the worst. If someone is going tell me that I'm not enough, I'm not going to be that person. Now, I carry that picture wherever I go. They can call you a lot of things... But what you hear doesn't define you, but what you love does. Choose to love yourself and your soul. What a big blessing to be a person who doesn't exist anywhere. You are unique. There isn't any other YOU. You were created for a reason. If the world and the universe didn't need you, you wouldn't be here. You might say, how can it need me if I am not doing anything for it?. And I will say you're wrong. You are doing a lot. For example, you woke up today and breathed the air. You fed your beautiful body (if you haven't, go and do it now.. your beautiful body needs it!), you moved around the house, and probably you didn't hurt a soul. And if you did, that's okay.. You can apologize, and you won't hurt anyone tomorrow. See? You did a thing today for the universe.. You kept the scheme going. That's why you are enough. You are BORN TO BE ENOUGH. You can't be NOT ENOUGH even if you try to. You were born this way... To wake up and to be enough. So.. Go and live now. You are not lost, you just like travelling. Your faith will guide you, and this letter from me to you will be here. Come back here and read this whenever you need it. I'm proud of you, traveller.
Day 1 of no drinking, the amount of damage I've done to my body and mind, and the discomfort I've brought to other people, I'm done with it. That is my first thing on the path of self forgiveness
IM SOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!❤❤❤❤ I hope we can all be a little gentler with ourselves. Because of your tweet, im going to eat breakfast today a good nice breakfast i have been struggling with an eating disorder these past few months although i try to deny it i know i have one but you inspired me to try to be better and forgive myself too, i hope we both do good in life :))))
You're going to feel much worse before you start feeling better with quitting, unfortunately it's just how the body works when cutting it out. Don't give up on yourself regardless, wishing you the best
I often get lost in thoughts of the future, always taunted by delusions, telling me I am a genius, other times I get trapped in my past, all of the mistakes I have made reminding me I am a fool, most times I am stuck within my mind, hours go by in a moment, dreams blur into reality, demons telling me I am worthless, a few times I get locked without, mentally stuck outside my body, living life forgetting I even exist, but always I come back into that cycle, dissociating from within, disconnecting from without, a constant of forgiving myself, seeing hope, then falling right back down, hating myself for screwing up my chance, thinking of ending my life, but then the cycle starts all over again, a broken record on replay, just spinning around my head.
Keep your self strong hearted. Never forget there’s good in the world. We will all reach our end and that’s ok, we are meant to live as well. Be good. Do good. Live good , be happy that this right now is happening. Simply because it is. It’s ok to feel, and to not feel. Life is meant to be lived. It’s yours. Right now. This second. It will all be ok , just let it go and start sayin more stuff. Simply because you understand it will be ok
Friend, it may be hard for you, I’m trying to do it too, forgiving. Yourself or someone else. Drop everything, the hurt, the pain, the negativity, replace it with something else, invoke the feeling of what that good something else looks like, and hold onto it. Realize you are not your thoughts, rather an observer, do not run away from them, confront them, and laugh, and go on to something new, cultivate your mind so that it’s one you can live with. You’ll be alright friend.
This is everyone’s first try at being a human being. There was no trial run or tutorial, so understand mistakes were always going to happen big and small. Don’t get so caught up forgiveness/regret/what could have been. Instead use those moments along with the good moments to structure the remainder of your life. If and when more bad happens, adjust tomorrow again in small increments. Seriously tiny increments where you know you can succeed with the new routine. Before you know it you’ll be overwhelmed with positivity and a drive to help others. That’s true forgiveness
I feel like I let my younger self down. But every time I cry, I hear a little voice asking me why. Almost as if it's me. I can't give up. I'd be giving up on the little girl from all those years ago. To anyone reading this, please don't give up. Sure, it already happened, but the only thing you can really do is forgive yourself and try to make a better future. Remember that mistakes don't make you any less of a person, they just add to your story and that *you* are a gorgeous person, never forget that
Everyone deserves comfort. No matter who you are. Don’t think just because of your past actions, that you don’t deserve love, cause you do. Make up for the past, live a better future. I’m always here for you. Stay safe and healthy.‼️
When you’re with others, you find who you are socially. But the only way to find who you are spiritually is to be away from all of it. Being alone with your thoughts, confronting your regrets and seeing your fears for what they are. Within all of that, you find who you are, the person that lies in all of that. And that can only be found when you’re alone. Appreciate being alone as much as you appreciate being with others. It’s such a gift.
Beautifully said. I have yet to find myself spiritually, and I am currently saving up money to go on a 2 month trip, alone. I fill my usual days with distractions and don’t know who I am yet. I think the trip will help me find myself again.
The rage gives you energy and passion that the depression shuts down. Your decision of where to apply that rage...And what to direct that energy to...Will determine whether or not you make it out of this hole, and actually get to enjoy some aspects of life.
I'm trying to learn to forgive my dad for my horrible excuse for a childhood. My mom got better, still improves herself regularly and I have no more resentment for her because she is no longer the person she was. But my dad is never going to move on. He's going to die with a bottle in his hand, struggling to forget what he did to me, my siblings, and to himself. I will never get to share closure with him. I will never get to forgive him to his face and mean it. By the time I finally learn to forgive him, he will be dead. But I accept that. I accept that not all closure is pretty, or fast. I accept that it will take me years more to truly process the depth of my trauma and let go of the remaining threads of resentment. I accept this and it's okay.
I lost my father to alcoholism in 2020. He was 48 years old. At times in my life , he abused me , abused my mother , spent money we needed for bills and food on alcohol and drugs. Constant fights, arguing and pain. And yet, four years later. All I wish for is another chance to talk to him and to establish forgiveness. I know it's hard to see now. I know the pain and all that has happened has blinded you to it. That's okay. But don't ever count out forgiveness. Some day you will understand the value of the time you could spend, the fences you could have repaired. The wounds you can still mend. ❤
@oogabooga20222saying stuff like this is just ignorant and immature behavior, an emotionally intelligent person would feel solidarity or empathy, not just go “well he’s still your dad” that’s just some dickhead shit
@oogabooga20222having an absuive father or even mother for that matter is much worse than having no mother or father. You shouldn’t compare struggles either. It’s weird.
The song at 18:25. That's the feelings this comment gave me. Misery. Nothing but pain. Unbearable pain. Atleast I'm not hurting anyone anymore and atleast the cycle stops with me. 😢 Glad you're learning to move on, hope I can make it there. My dad was no different. In denial.
To forgive is to grow and allow yourself to grow. Do not think forgiving is to forget the past mistakes you have made. When you forgive, you are acknowledging the fact that it has happened and it is something to learn from.
@Dream-Eternal87 Um, hello, dear stranger. ^^" I've grown curious if I can offer any info that may help, so uh, here's something I had to respond with: I encourage the path of strength and discipline. It's not about the path you feel you should be taking but rather the one you may often most need. Over time, along this path, you will see your progress surely but slowly. I also encourage you to ask a friend if reflection is hard, sometimes it’s better to trust others, even though it feels blind. It's like taking a leap of faith. I only recommend strength cause the effects are usually positive, and hard work often rewards those willing to push themselves. Additionally, I don't want to presume anything, but with the last message you sent, I think you have acknowledged the main issue you have struggled with. The logical thing to do is to take actions to solve it; otherwise, learn how to solve it. (This is something I've been taught, I'm not sure it works for everyone. ^^") Alas, remember change will always take time and effort. Following that, with strength and practice, the work gets easier. Strength also makes you more confident and less vulnerable to bad thoughts. To overcome bad thoughts, you should realize you have strength, and you shouldn't focus your efforts and energy on something that is a constant reminder of your pain. You should cement a new idea of positive results and abilities you have; something along the lines of, "you can always do better, more positive things." Uh, pardon if this section is confusing. I just believe it would be best to build a new foundation or slate now that you know you can move on. Again, forgiveness is no emotional compensation, even though forgiveness can be given in many emotional forms. I still believe it's acknowledging the pain and past, stating what it is, summarizing it, and then just taking the next steps for the better (or for the worse, which is usually a decision made from ignorance, laziness, or other negative thoughts and feelings). Make sure to recognize your weaknesses and strengths, where you stand now, and where you will or want to go. (Try to say "I will" over. "I will try." Procrastination and laziness is a big hurdle for anyone.) I'm sorry if this was very long or sounded like something you don't want to hear. I just find everyone fascinating, and one day, I wish that people knew what they are capable of.
@@Dream-Eternal87I'm also burdened by a lot of shame over past deeds. All I can say is, remember to stay kind to yourself and forgiveness is the only way forward. That doesn't make it easier, but it is worthwhile. There's much to love about us - flaws and all 🩷
It's an excuse to shamefully forgive yourself in the of name growth. u can suffer and still grow because u already know u wont repeat the same mistake as you are already regretting your past mistakes oh.. not mistakes its bloody sins , most morale thing is to suffer and punish yourself and if u can then possibly end yourself. U just need an excuse to hide yourself and smile again even after doing such henious things shame on u
@hectictrolls6176 Of course, humans can sin, but that isn't the same as making a mistake. Forgiveness is not for what we see as sin, it is what we see as mistakes. That differs person to person. No matter if they are bad or good mistakes, forgiveness is the act of moving on with yourself after making one. It does not mean you are a good or bad person, that depends on a completely different opinion of yourself. An example is that even a cruel, heart ridden villain can forgive the person they hate and even thank them for making them who they are; simply because the villain decided and made actions to grow in an evil direction after being treated horribly by this person they hate. That's a bit fictional, of course. It's not a very strong argument, but it's an example nonetheless. Can I ask why you think forgiveness is an excuse? I see forgiving as an action that takes strength and logical work. I would also like to ask, what is a mistake to you? Are there any details you can provide me? You've made me curious, and now I want to understand you. I also wanted to tell you I see your statements as weak or lacking foundation. I would like more perspective and tangible reasoning. I won't say that you don't bring up a good point about people trying to make an excuse, thinking forgiveness can provide that scapegoat, it's a very common misunderstanding, actually. That is why I tried defining the way I did. What I have argued about forgiveness is just what I see as a solid annotation of forgiveness. Thank you for reading this. I would like to read more of what you have to say.
Forgive yourself for the love you have given to others when you needed it for yourself. Its not lost. Youve shown you know how to love. Isnt it time you saved some for yourself? You deserve it. You always have. Just for existing but also and expecially for giving when you didnt have much and didnt know how to receive. Please. This world needs you and that heart of yours. Take care of yourself and nurture that heart. You need it and so does your world. I see you. Keep your head up, my fellow warrior of the heart.
One day, maybe, I will. Until then I will work every night and every day to prove that I’m no longer that stupid person. The people I’ve hurt may never see that, and my goal may never be fulfilled. But at least I will have tried. I will forgive others, forever, for I know how it feels to need forgiveness. The living hell that it causes. I can’t wait for this shame to be over. So instead I will work for it.
Reflection is truly key. At least you're peering into the portal of fire and not averting your eyes. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (book I)
Accept your memories and move beyond their reach. Memories hold the pieces of what built you, but you get to decide how to be built with those pieces. Now is not then...
I ran into this Playlist about 2 months ago. Days after my breakup of a 4 year relationship. Without getting into details (my fault) I saved this Playlist for later I haven't heard a single second until now. Today was the day i forgave myself and let go. It's hard. It hurts. It takes work. But eventually you too well forgive yourself. Give "you" a chance to grow.
I used to feel like my emotions were a mistake, like I didn't _deserve_ to feel any way, like all I deserved was to be removed from existence because my life was a stain. I would consciously remind myself "I've seen you be a good person. I've seen you take joy in little things and improve the world around you. This feeling will pass and I can't wait to meet you there. Keep going." I've moved to a different city, I have my own car now, have cut ties with the toxic people in my life, brought those people I trust closer to me to help as an adult now, and am slowly learning to make friends and be a good neighbor instead of shutting down. I no longer doubt my right to exist; feelings hit me naturally as they should; when something upsets me I confront it directly instead of shutting down. It's been 5 years since I've needed to combat the gnawing doubt, the self-hatred. I know now what I am and accept that as something not to be ashamed of. Looking back on those gnawing thoughts I used to fight on the regular, that was a totally different person. He was a good kid, he was just going through some shit. I'm glad things worked out for that boy. Keep going.
Haha same. I continually screw up my life and unintentionally the lives of the ones I love. Depression is a real bitch. Everybody forgives me every time, and want to see me succeed. But I always fall short.
i think it’s beautiful that you’re who you are now. life is all about change whether we want it to happen or not, and that’s okay. it’s scary and it’s going to feel like you’re suffering at times, but never forget that you wouldn’t be here or where you are now because of your past, because you changed. maybe where you are now is good, maybe it isn’t, but you’re still here, right? there is always time for you to make things right, there’s always time to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. let go once you have come to terms with them; you don’t have to worry about what you did because you know that you have grown from it. i’m so proud of you. you are someone’s reason to breathe, to smile, to love; i hope that someone that you prioritize to make feel that way is you. you deserve to be here, to smile, to love. forgive and love the you for who you were, and be excited & in love with shaping who you will become. take care, stardust. please keep your light going, this world is so lucky to have you
@@yv0nne_1 i hope that the times you do cry remind you that you’re human and you’re still able to feel what life allows us to feel, my darling :) a mini reminder: it won’t always be or feel good in the moment, but being able to experience all feelings and life in its complexity & craziness is what living is all about. i hope you continue to choose living and make sure it’s so you can grow into the beautiful, wandering soul that you KNOW you are in this physical world
In this moment we’re all sharing, we come to a common understanding. It’s a strange yet beautiful thing, all of us in this shared, short, sentimental moment together, yet also completely separate. None of us will truly get to know each other, the lives we’ve each lived, the happiness, sadness, heartbreak, the bad we’ve done, nor the good. All we have is this moment in time that we each experience individually. Idk who will see this, who you are, ur accomplishments, ur failures, but from human to human, soul to soul, I care for you, I love you. There’s love out there, even if it seems fleeting, it’s the only thing. Choose to love.
Sometimes when I’m driving I look out to all the cars around me and think, “Around me now are hundreds of souls that I will never meet yet I yearn to feel the heartbeats of all of them.” To love is not to understand, but to want to understand.
I want to stop running away. I know exactly what I have to do but I just can't bring up the courage to do so. Instead I keep distracting myself from my duties because I fear I will fail again. Just right now I have the urge to go smoke and disassociate for hours instead of confronting my feelings because it's the easy thing to do. The memories of my past self still haunt me. I've been unemployed for neigh on 5 years now. I don't have friends anymore, live with my parents again whom I don't have the relationship with I wish I had. I'm slowly working on fixing my life right now but it's hard all alone. Listening to this playlist and reading your comments made me cry which I haven't for a long time. I'm happy I found this place. Wherever you may find yourself, feel kissed and hugged. We're all gonna make it ❤
good luck! even though i’m just a guy from yt, i wish you’ll have good life, wake up every morning and feel that everything alright, things going right, feel that you gonna be okay. I know, it’s not something easy, and maybe i’m not gentle enough with my words, but anyway i wish you that stay strong, you’ll manage it
Forgiveness isn't about condoning bad behavior; it's about freeing yourself from the weight of resentment. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s even okay to hurt people. But it’s important to forgive yourself and move forward. Remember, you’re human, and everyone makes mistakes.
Why is it so much easier to forgive others than it is to forgive yourself? Maybe its just a me thing, but I've always been someone who can forgive others quite easily, but when it comes to forgiving myself... lets just say I get less than stellar results.
It’s hard to take the advice we give to others, because we have a hard time seeing our actions from an outside perspective. If you saw someone you cared about, plagued with resentment and shame over the things they did, and those things were exactly the same things you’ve done, what would you tell that person? What words of comfort would you give them? And why don’t you feel as though you deserve that same grace? What makes you so much less worthy than them? Nothing at all.
In therapy there is this 2 chair technique where you take seat in 2 chairs and talk to the "you" in the other chair and try to give it some positive feedback
@@splattbinat1542 I’ve done that before! Would highly recommend it. It’s easy to lose perspective on what sort of person you are when you’re stuck inside your head the whole time
we are not paintings, we are human. we can never stay the same forever. discover new things about yourself, create new experiences, new passions, new hobbies. outweigh what you've lost.
I've learned so much, yet haven't changed a bit... I feel like the world is leaving me behind. It's suffocating. As much as I've changed, the world has changed and gone forward ten times faster. It feels like I don't know how to swim and am drowning. A futile struggle in slow motion as water enters your lungs. Arms flailing, legs kicking.. you fight for air, to be afloat. But inevitably sink. All you need is peace and calm, one piece of knowledge to save yourself. But no one is there to help. No one was there to teach you. So you drown. It's lonely.
I don’t want to live and don’t want to die. Just stuck in between and I hope to get over this feeling but tbh I’m not sure if I can. Thank God, I’m not alone in this sheet and there is always some people that can relate to it and not push you away as a threat or a walking mistake of a man. Thank you, keep going! Be loved and supportive! I love you!
Best thing I ever did is accept the past and embrace the present. If you fall, get back up..and keep fighting. Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Everything will be okay.
I used to think of myself as a burden, someone who bothered others by simply being there and I was really self-conscious. I was also timid and used to feel a lot of guilt. I thought that I didn't deserve anything good that I had and that I would never find love. With time I saw that I was wrong. I saw that I deserve good things happening to me, I deserve good people around me, and deserve to receive the same love I give out. I also notice that love is all around me in all sorts of forms. Nowadays people have said to me that I'm one of the most extroverted people they have ever met and that I make the room a more comfortable place bc I have good energy. So maybe you shouldn't go too hard on yourself and let the good in you blossom instead of only seeing your flaws.
Loneliness has been a staple of my life since I was a child. Moving from place to place so I could never keep friends, having the pressure to be something I could never be by my family, constantly losing the friends I made in my adult life and being amazed if anyone even made it a year in my life without disappearing. When I first fell into darkness, I blamed everyone else; I blamed the world. But slowly, that began to transition into me blaming myself for everything. I began to drown self-hatred with cheap thrills and temporary happiness, which only led to more pain. I didn't learn to forgive myself, I learned that my reason for living was to not care whether I was alive or dead, as I viewed myself as irredeemable. In not forgiving myself for everything I did, I became more of a terrible person with the idea that I could never be worse than I already was. I hurt a lot of people, but none more than myself. My birthday is in two weeks, and as I approach an age that I admittedly feel delayed to learn about forgiveness for myself, I am happy to say it has officially been over a year since I tried to take my own life. I still feel the weight of my mistakes, and I hope every day that the people I was awful to are happy in life, but I push forward, knowing that I can try my hardest to only create positive experiences for everyone in my life now.
hey, i know world is not the best place sometimes, but here are still many good people you can vibe with. Even if i don’t know your situation, i believe you’ll find your dudes and your family. Good luck!!
For anyone here, you have made a mistake, right, but you cant do anything but regret it, you cant solve the past, then stop this regretting endless painful regrettion inside of you, and forget about it and let clouds be clear in your mind, you dont have to feel regret, no one ever was clear of mistakes, everyone have flaws and dark spots, clear them, be great, and have a great life
It's gonna be a long, painful process, you'll be wading through a swamp of things that you've done and that have happened to you, but eventually, you'll find the thing that eats you up every night.
Это видео попалось мне после часовой истерики из-за сильного чувства вины, которое меня всегда преследует. И вот я наконец поняла, что не обязана быть идеальной. Нужно просто расслабиться.. (хотя бы на какое-то время) Рекомендации ютуба действительно знают, что мне нужно
Its hard to forgive yourself when you know you f*cking up during the act but dont stop. I know they say recognizing it is a step forward but time is running out. It is. The world is not waiting for me. I get tired of breathing some times.
you matter and you are still worthy to try again even if you mess up on a new day with new chances. those are your days to conquer or fail, but they are your days to do so with a gift of life my dear friend. keep holding on, it will get better.
Forgiving yourself can be a hard thing to forge your spirit into accepting naturally. Please don’t be hard on yourself, friend. Feel what you must feel, as long as you learn to let go and accept the terms of reality at hand. It’s not about making the mistake or regret; it’s about learning and shaping yourself into a better experienced being. Don’t lose yourself in the rage of your mistakes. I know the pain too well. You will find your peace, eventually. Time is your best medicine and your progress will show itself in good time.
These comments made me cry, but in a good way. I know that I'm not alone with my feelings and I think that heals something inside me. And after I'm done crying, I will go to sleep and hopefully feel more relieved afterards.
I say what truly makes a man is not how much weight he can carry but why is it that he continues to bare it each and every day with a smile. The will of a truly selfless, honorable man is that of a baobab tree, rigid and durable, unable to be burned in vain; however it is the fruit it continually produces that not only keeps itself alive for 1000’s of years, but also any and all of those that love it back. Do not acquiesce to the temptation of defeat when faced with malfeasance and all its abhorrent faces. Perseverance is only reserved for those who’ve already conquered conflict. Keep going my brothers/sisters/fellow humans.
I look at you, my eye filled with a mix of pain and vulnerability. "So here I am. Broken. Disfigured. Alone. Or... or I was. Until you saw my youtube comment." I fall silent, my story laid bare between us. The room feels heavy with the weight of our shared pain, but there's also a strange sense of... relief. Of finally being seen, truly seen, by someone who understands.
it’s difficult to put yourself out there. I can’t do it. I can’t get personal with people because I’m always afraid I’m going to something strange that will make them dislike me. Even online I feel like I’m stepping boundaries or miscommunicating. I wasn’t always like this. I used to be social, but now I spend most of my time alone. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be human.
I feel exactly the same way and struggled with that for a long time, it's nice to know I'm not alone dealing with feelings like that. It'll get better mate, the biggest step forward is acknowledging it
Hey hey, same here. I've been trying to put myself out there lately, and share some of my own personal hobbies (art, making music) and I've come to terms lately that I'm rather deathly afraid of even opening those parts up, as if everything I make is some part of me too that is afraid of criticism or being misunderstood - Posting things online, even behind an anonymous handle does not make it any easier either. It does get easier once you acknowledge it though. I mean, it got you to type that comment right? No one said socializing is easy, but if you can have small victories like this and really put yourself out there, it will get easier overtime.
Ive done things in my past that were downright deplorable. They may follow me to the grave and people i meet and know will also know these things. But thats not who i am anymore. It took losing everything to realize that. I made a promise to myself that no matter what I will defy my past and become who i always wanted to be; someone to be proud of. Before I was arrested I had no humanity. I honestly had been through so much trauma it broke my spirit and i stopped caring. During that time i did a lot of damage to myself and my family. I went away thinking i would finally be allowed to wither away but instead i was given LIFE. How could someone so wretched be given this wonderful gift? Im no longer the same. I WANT TO LIVE. I I FOUND MY HEART. And it wasnt somewhere lost, it was in me the whole time...I promise that i will have the life ive envisioned for myself and those i love. What do you guys think? Can someone be forgiven for even the most terrible things if they truly want to be better? Where do we draw the line on forgiveness? Interested to hear different perspectives...
I have a saying that I’ve build due to my extensive trauma. Those who do bad but regret, deserve help, care, assistance and support. They regret it and maybe don’t know how to stop so assistance is good. Those people don’t DESERVE forgiveness but get forgiveness. Because forgiveness can’t be demanded.. But those who don’t regret, don’t deserve forgiveness. If they’re faced with the things they’ve done and are repeatedly let know of it yet still deny it then to hell with them. Of course they inherently deserve to have help too but it’s where I believe they deserve to feel the hurt they’ve inflicted to hopefully understand, get help and regret it. So once they regret it, finally the process to potential forgiveness can be a possibility. But again, forgiveness can’t be demanded.. So I believe it’s good you learned, got help and want to get better, that you’re doing what you can to be better! I’m Proud of you. But know people will never have to forgive you. And some might never will. And that’s okay.. I hope you’ll have a good weekend 🧡
Individuals who have experienced childhood trauma may be more prone to negative mental feedback loops. Epigenetic changes from trauma can contribute to: 1. -Increased stress reactivity-: Hyperarousal and exaggerated stress response can lead to negative feedback loops. 2. -Emotional dysregulation-: Difficulty managing emotions can result in rumination and self-reinforcing negative thought patterns. 3. -Hypervigilance-: A state of increased alertness can lead to excessive self-monitoring and criticism. 4. -Negative self-perception-: Epigenetic changes can influence self-perception, leading to self-blame, shame, and low self-esteem. 5. -Dissociation-: Disconnection from oneself and others can perpetuate negative feedback loops. 6. -Lack of self-compassion-: Difficulty practicing self-care and self-compassion can exacerbate negative mental states. 7. -Rumination and worry-: Epigenetic changes can contribute to excessive worry and rumination. 8. -Avoidance behaviors-: Avoiding challenges or emotions can reinforce negative feedback loops. These negative mental feedback loops can manifest in various ways, such as: - Anxiety and depression - Self-destructive behaviors - Substance abuse - Self-sabotaging patterns - Difficulty with intimacy and relationships It's essential to recognize that these feedback loops can be interrupted and rewritten through: - Mindfulness and self-awareness practices - Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) - Trauma-informed therapies (e.g., EMDR, somatic experiencing) - Self-compassion and self-care practices - Social support networks Remember, individuals who have experienced childhood trauma can develop resilience and work towards healing and positive change.
@oryxxyro814 that's exactly what I've dealt with. Of course no excuse for my own mistakes I take full responsibility for that. Now I can understand things that played a part in my thinking and actions. That you ❤️
This sounds like the story of my life, although different circumstances. When I was at my breaking point, I couldn't go on as I was anymore. I was faced between the choice of death, or otherwise knowing the only way I would stop hurting other people was if I could make myself believe I was a good person. And it went against every fiber of my being, everything I believed in. But what better is a monster to do? Every other monster out there, what else could you possibly ask of them aside from those two options? Now I have it all. It's surreal.
No, I will never forgive myself. But, I will never forget. I have actually found peace and joy on thriving on the dislike of my younger selves actions, and pride myself on being everything that my younger self was not. One of my most powerful memories was when I cursed my younger self out, told them they deserved to be gone and dead, told them that I hate how much they hurt me, and that I was going to do everything in my power to make sure I will never be like them again. I spit on the ground, and left, and have never looked back. Gave me some closure I needed for my teen/childhood, and gave me some space to think about other things for one. Now, spending time hating, to the point of being disruptive, will drag you down. But, moving on, whether you forgive your self or not, is what is key. At least, too me.
I found this on a really weird day. A year ago today I moved in with the love of my life and today will be the first day in 6 months I have a room to call my own again. The last thing my ex told me before I left was he had hoped that I would be homeless and experience suffering; and when I left I chose that over him. I called the police at 12 at night during the largest snowstorm my town had experienced in 70 years. I stood outside barefoot in my underwear and just stared at the stop sign until they came. The image reminds me of that so much. I feel like I’ve gone full circle and this was sent to me as confirmation that it’s really over. I can finally start to forgive him now, and move forward.
I want to forgive myself yet it's so difficult. I don't feel like who I used to be a year ago, I feel like a whole different person, but I still carry this guilt and shame on the inside. Part of it fuels me to become a better man and part of it reminds me of the things I've lost due to my mistakes. I know no amount of guilt will change the past I know that but I can't shake this feeling, it gnaws at the edges of my mind, it makes my chest cave in, and I grow numb. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I want to forgive myself and everyone else who's hurt me. I am so exhausted; I no longer wish to hate. I know there is love on the inside of me, she showed me that she allowed me too although we were in two different stages in life. I am just tired I no longer feel like hating anyone, I feel different in my skin and know I am on the right path but it has been the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.
Dear younger me, Forgive me for giving up on ourself so soon in life. Forgive me for the mistakes I've made and know I'm trying to make the future you wanted a reality. I'm taking it step by step every day. And I know you wanted us to succeed in life so we will do just that in due time. Your Present Self
Hello, I just wanted to say -- that I've struggled with BPD for awhile now, I lost my therapist and only support and was put into a rough DBT program in the process. At first, I thought it was my falling. That it was a sign my life was going downhill. But for the first time in forever, I realized...Not everything is what it seems, that really darkness is just the way to light. I'm proud of the things I've accomplished, and I hope everyone who sees this understands that it's okay to be imperfect, what matters most is you forgive yourself for the things that have happened in your life. It took so very long, but I am stable now. And, I wish the same for you. You deserve nurturing, empathy, understanding, growth, love and peace. I'm proud of everyone here, this is your sign to not give up just yet. Keep pushing and things will turn out.
Right now, life feels like a mountain. I've ascended one side. Looking back down I'm too far to turn around now. Even if I did go back I wouldn't be the same person I was the first go round. No matter where I go it's new territory to navigate as this version of myself. Every season started off terrifying. I'm still scared tbh. But scared isn't dead and everything else is figure-out-able. Even so that's the risk, you could be everything you ever dreamed of or you could be whatever watered down version of yourself you deem the safest to be. Either way you could end up being as uncomfortable as you are right this second trying to decide the rest of your life at 3am. So if you ask me the fear is worth it. The pain, the hiccups, the red tape, the time it takes everything is worth it. At the end of my life I hope to meet myself in the mirror with gentle eyes and say "Old girl you tried and thats all we really wanted anyways." (Sorry I like to get existential in the YT comments)
these songs give me a feeling of warm, as if nothing ever happened, I just imagine myself being the luckiest guy I know for being alive and still going after all that's happened to me, for everyone's whos having it rough and is still here, you have to keep going. It's only you and yourself who can get you out, nobody else, don't let others have an impact on who you are as a person, don't change yourself for others. you are you and you're unique.
I had a friend we got in a stupid argument that cost our friendship. I tried so hard to fix it, yet it went nowhere they refused eachtime, I hate saying it but I neglected myself trying to fix it I failed some classes, lost a bit of passion in the things I was interested in, I lashed out at my family not knowing how to tell someone. But recently I forgiven them but it doesn't sit well witth me I feel scared they'll do the same thing again they claimed that they've changed yet they haven't shown me anything I hate it I want to believe them I really do but I don't know what to do.
Forgiveness isn’t always about the person you’re forgiving mate. Forgiveness starts and ends with doing it for yourself. Holding onto pain, to sadness, to anger it only serves as a thorn in one’s side. It may scab over, you may forget it’s there, but it’s never gonna heal until you pull it out. My mom and dad both have done me pretty shit. I used to be so bitter with both of them. I still have my moments but one day I sat back and thought about it all with a new perspective. I know my parents aren’t the best. I know that I get hurt by making effort to rekindle our relationships. Each time I try and get hurt the previous wounds open back up and I’m worse off than before. Does it mean I’m going to stop hoping one day we have what I want? Absolutely not. I forgive them for the past but until I see changed behavior from them I have to love them at a distance. I have no ones fault to blame but my own if I get hurt again because I’ve been bitten by the snake many times. I forgive people but I don’t forget. Trust your brain and trust your heart and be true to yourself. As long as you prioritize your peace and your happiness things will work exactly how they should.
I just attempted, making my friends and partner worry for me..but thankfully everything is okay. To take my mind off of the pain and stress, so I immediately clicked on this and now we're here..Goodnight yall.
I’m so happy you are okay! I hope you feel better and can come to forgive yourself and move on. I truly wish you only the best, we may not know one another, but no one truly deserves to experience anything close to what happened to you. I am so glad you are still around, you can attend to others needs, but you should still be here for you. I hope you can learn to love yourself. That is the strongest thing you can do. Sometimes we need to be a little egotistical. Do some things for you. Do what makes YOU happy. I hope you know that you’re worth something. A lot in fact. You may say that you can’t wait until you do something great and be someone. You are someone right now. You mean something right now. To a lot of people! Love from a random stranger, I hope you may never face any danger.
good comments, great recommendation. forgive yourself, others, and internalize the remembrance. Heaven is inside us, we just have to find it. Miss ya dad❤
you have so much to live for stranger, dont give up. in the end you'll always have nobody but you yourself, the one who's been through with you, throughout every journey and situation you've been through, you had yourself, you always have you. you need to accept that you are you, that you are who you are. its okay to have flaws, its okay to be that way, just be sure to know what you're doing if you dont want to regret things afterwards. sure things dont go exactly as you planned, but don't you think its more exciting that way? to actually live through the unknowns, its scary, yet its also exciting. you need to learn that its okay to let go, that you need to let go of things that are not meant for you to hold on to anymore. you forgive others easily yet such simple wrong move that you did is hard for you to forgive yourself. its okay to make mistakes, thats one way of learning, every mistakes that you made, you need to learn and be better, to not make the same mistakes again. forgiving yourself is a hard thing to do, but if the time comes that you finally forgave yourself maybe then you'll be free from every burden that you used to carry. everyone has their own story to make and to live for, so as you. may your story ends with a happy ending fellow stranger.
Im trying to battle many addictions atm and even undergone surgery for one of them. In my world at this moment its what i need to do for my soul and its a way of love towards myself. Its not easy at all. But im slowly building a stronger self. Every single day...
I will share my story, because why not? i think i need to get it out from my chest. Maybe even someone else will find it relateble. For 16 years (17 rn) i was told by my mom that i will achieve absolutely nothing in this life. The reason is - i never actually enjoyed anything besides spending time home on my pc. The only reason my grades were not that bad is.. I didnt want to hear my mom yell at me again. For the most part it felt like i lived two different lives: first one is mostly chill with my friends, playing games and doing goofy stuff, really great life if you ask me. The second one was complete psychological disaster. I was scared to live, i hated myself so much that in start of my second year in college i just give up. I said "fuck it" lets just kill ourselfs after christmas, life wont get any good later any way, only worse. So i stop care about most of my shit, the only thing i truly care of was my dog. And on december 30th i meet my first girlfriend. It was the first time i ever fall in love with someone, and oh boy that was best few months of my life. The feeling of being loved by someone who you find best person in world is just unmatched by anything. But later in relationship, the problems start to rise. I was really obsessed with her, really angry that she doesnt want to spend time with me and instead chilling with her friends. But i didnt really wanted to talk about it, because i understood that she needed her time, it couldnt be always me. Despite that, i start hate myself. If i couldnt catch her attention for weeks, theres something with me, right? I hated myself very match. Started choke myself with bare hands to just calm down my mind, etc. And it was not something she didnt know about, i told her i had serious problems with mental health but she was not interested in that, mad that i am such a pussy. i take that as a reason to continue struggle on my own, just hope for a day to end, hopefully meet up with her but that was rare case. Soon enough i was on edge of my mind. I decide to talk with her about stop this relationship, because i was feeling like each day i making steps in opposite direction from being a good human. She said that i am dumb and everything will by fine. But soon enough, few days later i decided to talk about my mental health again, saying that i am so grateful to her for being around me when i am so weak. She said i am weakling and she hate me, that everything between us ended and she doesnt wanna see me as a lover or a friend, since i was lying to her that things were good when they doesnt. It was so weird for me, i thought she actually started to care when she said that i am such an idiot to trying end this relationship, but few days later she told me that she hate me. I get through break up pretty easy, in fact it was delight, finally i felt that i like my life just by being myself. And maybe, just maybe... i am a good man. I doing good things and my low self esteem was a mistake the whole time. This conclusion make my life 10 times better, i am much more happy now. Hope everyone listen to that doing fine
i am so numb. i am so numb. my body used to be full of life, my mind too. I used to feel love, and spread love. I used to be depressed, many times, and always pulled myself out of that black hole i so appropriately call "the void". I always got out and escaped this, ALWAYS, either through sports, or mindfulness, patience, love, friends, maybe even family. But since 2020 everything changed. I wanted to live alone, I could not cope living together with other people in a shared apartment, i was too mature for those kids. I was 26, they were early 20s. I was working, they were studying, partying. I wanted stability and calmness, a routine, focus, so i moved alone. We all know what happened next in 2020, the pandemic, it got me as well as everybody by surprise. I ended up being isolated for weeks at a time in my new home, for the first time in my life i was alone. my family thousands of miles away, constantly buying more and more into the news about how scary and deadly the virus is, and how help is on the way soon, a state of continuous anxiety enveloped me, without even realizing. I never knew what anxiety was. i was working from home, full time again since my last burnout which left me in ruins 2 years back. "This time however, I will do things differently! I said to myself, believing in myself but also doubting myself at the same time. It is weird how we work... I did end up doing things differently indeed. I cut contact with 90%of the people I had in my life, to this day even I keep in touch with max 3, maybe 4. It was too much. I was so comfortable being alone, but I was also diving deeper and deeper into the void of comfort, of bad habits, porn, alcohol, self doubt, long hours in the night, bad food and bad hygiene. I would be lying if I would have told you that this did not affect me, but it very well did. Quite a bit more than I would believe it really. But then, after a while...one year of waiting which seemed like 10 years of prison, suddenly "help" arrived. Now we all had a way to protect our loved ones by vaccinating ourselves, so i blindly jumped on the vaccine train and took the shot. I had really bad side effects from it, side effects that haunt me to this day, and are the basis of trauma that every time is coming back, whenever I think of the past me. Not the loving, caring me, that shined light on the world, but the scared, panicked me that was lost in the night, and thought he would die from the side effects, while nobody helped him, not even the doctors. I lost sensitivity in my hands, my neck got blocked behind my skull, and one of my legs got very painful, which even to this day stands with me. Every time I exercise or do anything, my leg hurts. I am scared, I am scared but now I am better. I received no help, even though i sought it, everyone told me "bullshit...vaccines help people!" "imagine how you would have felt if you got the virus and didn't vaccinate!!" "like this you can at least save the old people!" no, i am sorry but i do not believe in this anymore. I experienced first hand the traumatizing effects of the pandemic, upon the mind and for the unfortunate on the body as well. I was weak, and a part of me died first when isolating myself, and a bigger part once I had the side effects of the shot. I didn't believe it myself either, but I even looked through my photos and I realized I stopped taking photos exactly 3 days after I got the shot. my creativity died, my sense of love towards anything and everything disappeared, and instead pure, awful dread took place, in all the void that was left. I have been battling crippling anxiety and depression since then, and nothing that I have tried helps in any way with how I feel. I have a girlfriend now and I feel like I do not deserve her, she is too good for me, I am evil, I am hateful and I despise lots of things. I need something that my girlfriend cannot offer me, something that the world cannot offer me, and something that I had in me long before, but lost so deep down the void that I can barely recognize the past me. Where was I when I needed myself the most? Where was I when I was judging myself on what I was doing before and after all this? Where am I right now, that I cannot get past these traumatizing events? Where am I heading to, at 1000 miles per hour? months pass like days, days like minutes and minutes like seconds, and I look back at who I was, and what my thoughts were, and how sharp and interests I had, how articulated I used to be, and now I am none of those anymore. I am so numb, so numb. I feel dead. I am dead.
I cannot forgive myself for allowing such hurt and betrayal to fall onto the one closest to me. For not further pushing my own luck, disregarding the consequences that pale in comparison to the damage that has been done otherwise not only to them but to myself. For my own cowardice, I have ended up with severe trauma, as has someone else. I was complacent in it's happening, and for that, I don't think it's deserving to forgive. But maybe one day, if things do turn out okay. Right now, they aren't, and I can only hope I can find myself the resources to make things better.
Reflection is truly key. Better to stare into the portal of fire rather than to run and hide from it. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (book I)
My friend, the past is the past. You cannot change what was done, or how it happened, you can only move forward. Find it in yourself through reflection to appreciate the present. We have ALL messed up in the past, but that is why we have the future to be better! We have an opportunity every waking moment to change the way we perceive things, the way we act, and the way we live! This all lies up to you, but I'm sure you will do just fine if you try. You and I are human, we won't last forever and we all make mistakes every day, this is how we grow. You have the capacity to recognize what you did was wrong, meaning you are a good person, but I understand how hard it is to see that. I have done horrible things to the people around me as well, but it's over, there is nothing I can do but improve myself for the remaining people around me. Make most of your time while you are here. Forgive yourself and forgive others, so that you can appreciate and enjoy the true beauty of the world. I believe in you and I'm sure the people around you do too, and most importantly, from human to human, I love you! You got this, time & effort is all you need!
Hey, i understand the feeling or at least i think i do, i feel the same way about my regrets, and in a way i punish myself as a way to make amends about it, I just pray you know that you deserve happiness too, i think its okay to with hold a specific integrity to yourself to keep yourself in check to never make the mistakes or wind up in that situation of helpless vulnerability, everyone has something in the past they hate or feel absolute shame from, just keep moving forward and further away from that darkness, and towards a state of self love and acceptance, walk towards that light and take care
I'll never get this answer from the person I need it from. But I have a feeling deep down this is how they feel. Thanks for sharing and be open and honest. That's the hardest and first part ❤
It's almost 11pm and I have work at 5 am yet I can't sleep im just lost in thought memories of the past. I feel like if I don't write how I feel I'll end up driving myself insane. I feel like I miss people more than they miss me. I've gone my separate ways from a lot of friends in highschool and I wonder if they ever think about me. I sit alone in my head night after night stuck in the past thinking about all the decisions I made the people I left behind and wonder if they even remember me. I have a lot of regrets in my life and I've been working on getting past it, but my biggest regret is not telling them how much they really meant to me. I'm fucking destroying myself day and night stuck in the past but how could I not? I feel as if I already lived my greatest years, had my best memories what's left? I've been distracting myself with work and while I have been doing better mentally some nights like these I sit here remembering all I regret. I wish I would of just thanked them for caring about someone like me. I wish they knew how much they meant to me.
Сейчас я нахожусь в дешовой гостинице в другой республике с пожилой бабушкой она болеет тут бегают тараканы и я жду суда матери я понимаю что не увижу её лет 10 к тому времени у меня будет семья дети умрёт моя бабушка я проживу очень долгое время я нахожусь в таком странном состоянии когда нет сил нет мыслей как таковых я хочу плакать но просто уже не могу я работаю достаточно много и у меня просто нет времени грустить + к этому нужно учиться этот плейлист пожалуй полностью описывает моё состояние и подходит под мою ситуацию спасибо за плейлист
It’s crazy who would have guessed it after all this time, 2 years went by so fast didn’t it and here we are again back listening to the same music in the same situation again. Regretting decisions made and a chance gone by. I think back on the memories constantly how much fun it was, how we would laugh till 3 am, the long talks, the tears, the laughter and the fights, and here we are again listening to the same playlist wondering where I went wrong. It’s not like I don’t know the answer to that question, it’s just easier to avoid it all together. How does one make an attachment so strong that after 2 years I can still close my eyes and hear your voice like it was yesterday. How do I move on after knowing that I created the reason it wouldn’t work out the moment we met? It’s my fault there is no doubt about it, no matter what happened it would have undoubtedly ended it was just a matter of when. No matter how much I move forward and improve I can’t help but look back at the past, and see the young and naive version of myself, and wonder why? What made you so inclined to throw your walls up and hide in your shell and wear a mask that belonged to someone else. I always hear “forgive yourself” and “don’t get stuck in the past” but how does one forgive themself it can’t be as simple as saying “it’s ok, we make mistakes and that’s ok. It’s up to you to not continue to make the same mistakes is all” it can’t be that easy……can it? I know if you were here now you would be so proud of how far I have come but you’re not, and that’s ok cause I know that your out there somewhere doing great things and living your life to the fullest and that’s all I want for you. But at the same time it burns knowing that we will never have another laugh or another late night conversation about our lives. So after two years and change I ask myself that one fateful question once again how do I forgive myself?
Forgiving yourself is hard to build. It’s a long and hard process for others and for others it is difficult but tame. When I forgave myself for what I did. I felt a small trance of gratitude, sadness and nostalgia. Pieces of what happened still appear in my mind every so often but it doesn’t bother me the same way it did before.
I appreciate you describing what forgiveness felt like for you. I wasn’t sure I’d even know it if I found it, but that gives me an idea of what I might recognize it by. Thanks, man.
Listen I don't know why I'm even writing this, I doubt anyone will actually read. But idk I always feel like I can push myself to do really good things but then again I have people around me who don't understand; they say they do but they don't. I'm called delusional for thinking that I could get a job or take care of myself and I'm genuinely trying to not be as angry or spiteful so that u can let go of who I used to be. I was called an ungrateful little bitch for not wanting to eat food, I get called 'victim' by my family when they're mad at me. Why is it that when I'm finally setting boundaries for myself, I suddenly become the bad guy??? Again idk why im writing this, i think its to get all this out of my head and out somewhere. Anywhere but keeping all of it inside my head
This was me with my parents when I was younger. Being a military kid who's dad was almost killed in a pointless war and got PTSD and a mom who was a single mother of 1 then more while her husband was at war didn't help. They had horrible parents, I still find it hard to talk to my grandparents even though my parents got better over the years during my adulthood. No matter who you blame, this is the struggle of mentally disturbed people passing their misery onto others. All I can say is get as much professional help as you need, and please keep strong. I really hope things get better for you.
stay strong, i believe you’ll manage to overcome it, at least just wait a bit of time and when you’ll be major, you could isolate yourself from them, from those harm. stay strong and i wish you luck
To forgive always felt to me, to accept that someone did something bad to you. But that’s ok bc u don’t care and still love them. It feels like ur putting their need for redemption first because you understand that pain of not being forgiven since a lot of us always struggle with forgiving ourselves. People always say that forgiving yourself isn’t thinking what you did was ok, but rather that you don’t let self hatred and anger linger and continue to strive to be better to get peace of mind. But what do you do when you feel that you don’t deserve that peace of mind.
I made some mistakes that made things harder for someone that I loved very much, and who loved me very much too. That was a little over two years ago, and I spent all but the past month or so hating myself for those mistakes. For me, I think acceptance was too painful for me to know what else to do with it but feel angry toward myself. When I did accept it, it still hurt; in fact it hurt in a more raw way than before. But it was a cleaner kind of pain, not all cluttered up with bitterness and anger. And it just felt like I was suddenly becoming aware of the enormous weight that I’d been carrying and pushing off, and as I went through it it became a little lighter with time. I’m still working on total forgiveness for myself, but I think it starts with what I found now, which I think is letting in these hard feelings that I pushed back for so long. Don’t get me wrong, it’s freaking hard to let it in, and I wouldn’t rush it either. Just the right things came at the right time for me and suddenly I found another perspective on things. Keep that search alive, even if it just barely there some days. Also sorry if this was kind of all over the place, it’s like 2:30 in the morning lol
@@SparrowHawk784 nah man, I totally get that. 2 years ago is when the relationship with my first and so far only lover ended. God I loved her with every piece of my being and beyond. And she loved me to this level as well. But I hurt her so badly. And then everything came crashing burning down. I held her hand to help her move on, but the moment she did I was left behind for a while. She came back but I wasn’t having it and then left even tho there was nothing left to even leave behind me. And every time something bad happened between us after it would always be “I did this. I deserve this.” I really don’t know if I can ever allow myself true peace of mind. The idea of self forgiveness makes me sick, like I’m cheating her of understanding the pain I caused her. And it feels like cheating myself out of a very valuable lesson I learned. I don’t feel worthy enough of self forgiveness. All I can do is try and be better everyday. Because god I’m stubborn and I can’t shake away the idea that self forgiveness = justifying or trying to make excuses.
@@Motivated754 To me forgiving others was always about being the kind of person I wanted to be. I would rather be someone who doesn't hold a grudge and deciding this is easier than doing it but it is the first step. I totally agree that forgiving is about cleansing hatred. If you feel you don't deserve peace of mind I recommend writing a little bit. Doesn't have to be a full commitment like journaling but my question is, "do you always feel that you don't deserve peace of mind?" It may be that you feel you don't deserve peace of mind while you carry the past. Maybe it is when you're tired or depressed. Deep down there is a latent wish in everyone for inner peace. There is a part of you that deserves it, I hope you have a moment of stillness soon where you feel worthy.
@@bantter1649 you don’t have a single idea on how badly I needed to hear those words. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I can agree with that idea of forgiveness. It’s the very reason why I try to be as forgiving as possible to others. I’m always trying to be kinder. I’ll take your advice man.
A frozen moment captured. To remember it's existence. A moment that existed for the next moment to follow it. All things since harvested because of this moment. And this moment is all that exists.
Я не знаю. Кажется если получится, то это будет великим облегчением. Но важно чтобы не только ты себя прстил. Так же важно чтобы другие тоже тебя простили.
i feel like i already disappointed my younger self. i promised that kid that i will be great. but im actually a loser now. its getting not that bad anymore but im still sorry for what had happened
Starting my day with this. It's cloudy and windy outside, just grey. It comforts me, as this playlist. I know that this pain won't go away in moment. I know it will come soon, but sure... I'll keep trying doing my best every time it hurts and one day i will realize that i have completely changed.
Think of it this way: if those who you forgave cannot forgive themselves, does your forgiveness mean anything to them? We all need to forgive ourselves in order to truly value the forgiveness of others.
I wish i broke down during my teenage years instead of keeping it all in and ignoring the pain. Its caught up. Its bigger than i can handle. Now when everyone is finding themselves, im losing my mind.
A lot of my relatives never let the pain out, and they turned into bitter, heartless people. You're not going to be one of them as long as you keep on processing it all. You're doing a good job.
Sometimes you just need time. Maybe your body thinks you're ready now. Every abandoned part of you that you process and understand is a little less weight on your shoulders. Remember, none of it is your fault. Take your time, you can't speedrun grief.
![Twenty One Pilots - The Line (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Audio]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/XCz7WUotXs8/mqdefault.jpg)
Best tracks from my channel on a SPOTIFY playlist:
spoti.fi/4aH2Phn (Daily updated)
Thank you! ❤
sometimes i forget this is my first time living - my only time living. sometimes i forget to live.
and sometimes well.. i forget to forgive.
Wow. This comment has opened something in me Bubba.
Monotony. The monotonous grind of work, then family, then rest. Back to work.
Your comment has awoken something inside me.
It's as if I was trapped in a ball. All my adult memories and experiences trapped in this clear ball.
Then after reading your comment I am now my little boy self, holding this ball. This ball with wall my adult experiences.
I am now my childhood self, looking at all the adult memories floating around in this clear ball in my hands.
You have awoken something in me Bubba. And I greatly appreciate it.
I will keep you updated, but I belive my life has changed sincereadingyour comment because you have taken me from being in that trapped ball, to being the little boy, with all his dreams and ambitions. You have freed me from the cage.
Because I too, had forgotten that this is my first time living. My only time living. Amd I forgot to live.
Wow...I have tears flowing down my cheeks right now.
I'm sorry for the long winded comments.
Thank you Bubba. I hope you read these
@@CricketsAreUsbruh
does anyone else feel like a different person from the past? Like you’ve changed into a completely different person but, your past clings onto and you feel like you will never be as good as a person you see yourself?
Yeah man
I can relate to what you’re saying. I too feel like I’ve changed a lot from the person I was in the past. It’s a strange feeling when you look back and hardly recognize the person you used to be. But I believe that every experience, every change, makes us who we are. And it’s okay to feel like you’re not the same person. It’s a sign of growth and personal development.
Thankfully I know I'm forgiven because of him. I laid my problems at his feet.❤
You will always be your own hardest critics brother - it's only natural as time goes on that we change and grow, sometimes we become entirely different people
Your memories serve to remind you of how things were once - the question is, will you continue to look to the past? Or will you keep your eyes firmly planted on the now, continuing to do the best you can for tomorrow?
Becoming the best version of yourself happens a step at a time, good luck! I'll be rooting for ya.
I'm somehow grateful I'm not the only one feeling this...And how this complex feeling was put into words. Cuz sometimes I cannot explain it by myself. Take care bro❤
The image is FREAKING ME OUT: Back when I was an alcoholic I was at a party and got kicked out (deservedly) because of my behaviour, it was the depth of Winter and snow was falling, it was already thick on the ground. I was trying to walk home in the snow and realised my feet had gone fully numb "Wow" I thought "It must be really cold." Being drunk I soon stumbled and fell into a snow bank at the side of the road, I could feel the cold taking over and thought to myself maybe it would be better to just stay here and wait for the cold to take me away forever.
I looked into the sky and thought how strange the sky looks when it snows at night and the street lights are on, not grey nor purple nor black nor orange but a wierd mix of all of them. I remembered having the same feeling as a child, confused by how wierd the world looks when it snows, how magical and eerie, calm but spooky, when I was a child I was frightened by the thought of how scary being lost outside in the snow would be, now here I was in exactly that situation, freezing and alone. That small amount of nostalgia was enough to get me to force myself back to my feet and try and go home again, I don't know how but I managed it. As I was walking home I saw a STOP sign and for some reason it hit me that it was meant for me and a literal sign to Stop drinking. I've been sober for ten years now.
(Edit: Amazed at this response, so heartened and encouraged by all of your words so thank you. I talk about my journey on my channel you can find out more about my path on there. I am in the process of writing various pieces and the response to this has been the spur I needed to finish these projects. If you're out there lost in the snow yourself just get up and keep going, you will find your home one day.)
This was beautiful to read!
ive learned from experience that surreal shit like this always comes from someone whos suffered on levels most people will never experience, i empathize with this a lot.
I'm happy for you bro 🙌✨
that was really beautiful!! Keep going like that!
That is a beautiful story.. And what a coincidence! Maybe this playlist was made for you (:
try not to break your own heart
Too late..
Now that hit good , thanks !
I’ll try
Already broken in dozens of pieces
Challenge(impossible)
Forgiveness isn’t about that person you’re forgiving, whether it’s someone who’s wronged you, or that past version of you that did those things you regret. It’s not about forgetting the harm that was caused, it’s not about evening the cosmic scales.
It’s about letting go.
Letting go of your anger, your resentment, your fear of history repeating. It’s about accepting reality for what it is, not what could have been.
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It’s about choosing to move on.
Thank you for this comment. It really helped put things into perspective for me. Bless. 🤍
Thank you for this, i've been thinking about this a lot lately and never really knew how to get the pain, the struggle out of my heart. This comment has helped me and so many others. ❤
❤
mm thank you i just now had someone bring the my eyes of something i was still holding onto and this made it much more clear to me reading this. i just wish i could say sorry to the ones iv wronged for me still holding a grudge of someone that wronged me. i lost some great people being stuck in my head thinking of how they would do me the same way when in reality so many people are truly different and idk why i wanted them to change into someone there not just make me happy. now it’s time i put fourth all that love into myself i was trying to find in others. 🫶🏼🙏🏼
@@mo4meh ❤️
It’s never as quickly as you want, but never as slow as you fear. Just try your best.
Thats so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.
Agreed. Great comment. Gonna keep this one in my back pocket
Everyone needs to hear that.
Wow. Wow you're actually right and i needed to hear that, im in the middle of trying to be better and then i take twenty steps back, then ten ahead, then five back, then fifteen. like this is driving me insane, even though im SO much better than before, i just can't give myself any credit, im not good enough yet, why can't i just be perfect. So reading this personally helped me it touched me so, thanks. alot.
🙏🙏
A comment section that actually feels like it’s full of real human beings, commenting on sentiments with opinions I can totally resonate with. Incredible
Yes it feels so good to read these
Indeed
It's why I love these type of videos, everyone is chill
Forgiving yourself for doing wrong to yourself. Forgiving means doing good to the victim from now on, which in my case was myself.
No? Like forgiving yourself is none of my business? Like if I treat someone wrong, I can't do anything, they either choose to forgive me or they don't, that's not my decision, not my action, no nothing
I can and should treat them better if they even wanna have me around, but if I force myself in their life that's just icky
@@yuli161-daedalusI think they are saying that forgiving yourself when you hurt someone is only part of the way. The person you hurt requires reparations just as well and only focusing on yourself and how you feel is like stabbing someone and checking your own body for wounds. It’s not healing.
Sometimes it's nice to forgive yourself, sometimes it's a heavy burden.
Depends on what it is that you've done.
Tax evasion, for starters.
I started cackling😭😭
Tax evasion is a virtue, there is nothing to forgive.
Canada
i'd thank myself for that
But it's a victimless "crime"
the past doesn't define who you are today, but man. it sure does define what people think of you sadly
That is exactly whats so scary. People are scary. But im realizing caring too much about what others think is a problem in itself.
I think it has an important play. Past you was who you were then, and your actions of then also made up of who you were then. But that yes, does not mean that past you is suddenly now you today as well. Although, I think it's important not to forget what you've done and who you used to be. It's good to forgive yourself and to especially move on or strive to do/be better, but to keep in mind as to why you are who you now are. You did those things or felt those ways, and now you've learnt from them and changed that. Or you've realized you don't like it and want differently. It does not define you today nor should be how people perceive you if you've changed, but it should be respected that you have been there, realized it's not the place or thing for you, and changed for the better. Many people refuse to change or even like it when they're in those places or doing those things. You did it and chose not to anymore. That should be given credit to and realized more often. You didn't learn to be a good person today by having experienced and learned nothing.
@@ayana9741your life is YOUR life. Be happy with yourself at the end of the day and try to be good to others! We are all doing this thing called life and death. But most of us don’t see it that way on a day to day basis…
@@dassboot9332 You’re right, that change in perspective is essential for me. I really love the maturity in perspective you have, I’ll learn to tap into that thought process as well. Lately though, I’ve been doing better for myself, so there’s been progress!
And what you do right now in this moment is how people will view you in 10 years. Everyone has a different version of you in their heads. No two people view you the same and nobody will ever view you how you “want to be viewed”. Perception is based off of wayyy too many variables for the stars to align.
The highest operating frequency is that of authenticity. Be true to yourself. Start prioritizing yourself like you’re responsible for another human. Treat yourself how you want others to treat you, spoil yourself how you want others to. Take better care of your vessel than your car. No negative self talk, look for what you’re grateful for. The more you align yourself with your values and stay true to them day to day the people will see you as genuine all the time and not just for brief periods.
I used to see myself as a heavy burden. I never appreciated my mind, my sould and the way I see the world. The years went by like this. It was tiring, but the fatigueness was the only feeling I knew... So I clinged to it. One day, while my mother and I, we were looking at the old pictures, I found my childhood picture. It was a funny but lovely one at the same time. I went to my room. I took another picture from my drawer. I was in the second grade in that picture. She looked.. so naive. And then, all the things I said to myself appeared in my mind.
"You're not enough,
You'll never be enough,
You're not pretty or smart,
You are a failure,
You are embarrassing."
And I imagined myself saying those things to my childhood version. I could hear her quiet tears. She would probably cry herself to sleep, and the next day would act like nothing happened. In the night, it would happen over again.
After this, I stopped and realized a thing, the girl in that picture was enough, she would always be enough, she was pretty and smart, she was not a failure and she was not embarassing at the same time.
So.. Why was I calling myself these? I was the same girl. I grew older, but I haven't grown for the worst. If someone is going tell me that I'm not enough, I'm not going to be that person. Now, I carry that picture wherever I go.
They can call you a lot of things... But what you hear doesn't define you, but what you love does. Choose to love yourself and your soul. What a big blessing to be a person who doesn't exist anywhere. You are unique. There isn't any other YOU. You were created for a reason. If the world and the universe didn't need you, you wouldn't be here. You might say, how can it need me if I am not doing anything for it?. And I will say you're wrong. You are doing a lot. For example, you woke up today and breathed the air. You fed your beautiful body (if you haven't, go and do it now.. your beautiful body needs it!), you moved around the house, and probably you didn't hurt a soul. And if you did, that's okay.. You can apologize, and you won't hurt anyone tomorrow. See? You did a thing today for the universe.. You kept the scheme going. That's why you are enough. You are BORN TO BE ENOUGH. You can't be NOT ENOUGH even if you try to. You were born this way... To wake up and to be enough. So.. Go and live now. You are not lost, you just like travelling. Your faith will guide you, and this letter from me to you will be here.
Come back here and read this whenever you need it. I'm proud of you, traveller.
Thank you so much for this. You have no idea how much I needed to hear these words.
@@arronfields2992 I am so so glad it helped!
thank you
@@fireworksforme2 you're very welcome..
❤❤❤❤❤❤ “whoever you are , thank you “ - Lisa Simpson
Day 1 of no drinking, the amount of damage I've done to my body and mind, and the discomfort I've brought to other people, I'm done with it. That is my first thing on the path of self forgiveness
🫡
Best of luck to you!
IM SOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!❤❤❤❤ I hope we can all be a little gentler with ourselves. Because of your tweet, im going to eat breakfast today a good nice breakfast i have been struggling with an eating disorder these past few months although i try to deny it i know i have one but you inspired me to try to be better and forgive myself too, i hope we both do good in life :))))
Day 12 how is it so far?
You're going to feel much worse before you start feeling better with quitting, unfortunately it's just how the body works when cutting it out. Don't give up on yourself regardless, wishing you the best
Forgive self is like best option you can do for yourself
Press L1 to forgive self
I often get lost in thoughts of the future, always taunted by delusions, telling me I am a genius, other times I get trapped in my past, all of the mistakes I have made reminding me I am a fool, most times I am stuck within my mind, hours go by in a moment, dreams blur into reality, demons telling me I am worthless, a few times I get locked without, mentally stuck outside my body, living life forgetting I even exist, but always I come back into that cycle, dissociating from within, disconnecting from without, a constant of forgiving myself, seeing hope, then falling right back down, hating myself for screwing up my chance, thinking of ending my life, but then the cycle starts all over again, a broken record on replay, just spinning around my head.
Wonderfully said, I resonate heavy with this.
Everything will be okay ❤ it may not seem like it but this time will pass away and you'll be happier
Jesus forgives
Keep your self strong hearted. Never forget there’s good in the world. We will all reach our end and that’s ok, we are meant to live as well. Be good. Do good. Live good , be happy that this right now is happening. Simply because it is. It’s ok to feel, and to not feel. Life is meant to be lived. It’s yours. Right now. This second. It will all be ok , just let it go and start sayin more stuff. Simply because you understand it will be ok
Friend, it may be hard for you, I’m trying to do it too, forgiving. Yourself or someone else. Drop everything, the hurt, the pain, the negativity, replace it with something else, invoke the feeling of what that good something else looks like, and hold onto it. Realize you are not your thoughts, rather an observer, do not run away from them, confront them, and laugh, and go on to something new, cultivate your mind so that it’s one you can live with. You’ll be alright friend.
This is everyone’s first try at being a human being. There was no trial run or tutorial, so understand mistakes were always going to happen big and small.
Don’t get so caught up forgiveness/regret/what could have been. Instead use those moments along with the good moments to structure the remainder of your life. If and when more bad happens, adjust tomorrow again in small increments. Seriously tiny increments where you know you can succeed with the new routine. Before you know it you’ll be overwhelmed with positivity and a drive to help others. That’s true forgiveness
somehow thinking about it this way is really helpful. thank you for this comment :]
You aren’t your thoughts, you are safe, everything’s okay
Thank you
scrolling through the comments and this is the one that broke me
Thank you.
@@gorgeousbam8681 🫶
I feel like I let my younger self down. But every time I cry, I hear a little voice asking me why. Almost as if it's me. I can't give up. I'd be giving up on the little girl from all those years ago. To anyone reading this, please don't give up. Sure, it already happened, but the only thing you can really do is forgive yourself and try to make a better future. Remember that mistakes don't make you any less of a person, they just add to your story and that *you* are a gorgeous person, never forget that
Everyone deserves comfort. No matter who you are. Don’t think just because of your past actions, that you don’t deserve love, cause you do. Make up for the past, live a better future. I’m always here for you. Stay safe and healthy.‼️
STAY SPOTTED
Al Bundy? Hitler?
When you’re with others, you find who you are socially. But the only way to find who you are spiritually is to be away from all of it. Being alone with your thoughts, confronting your regrets and seeing your fears for what they are. Within all of that, you find who you are, the person that lies in all of that. And that can only be found when you’re alone. Appreciate being alone as much as you appreciate being with others. It’s such a gift.
Beautifully said. I have yet to find myself spiritually, and I am currently saving up money to go on a 2 month trip, alone. I fill my usual days with distractions and don’t know who I am yet. I think the trip will help me find myself again.
@@hiddengems3977 I hope you find yourself soon, my friend. Who you truly are will come to you once the only person you know is you.
The depression turns into a pure rage when you realize it's not your fault, however don't know which one is worse
that's what scares me. i feel actual rage at her sometimes. but i dont want to.
The rage is telling you something needs to change in your life, or the current system.
Neither really does any good. I've spent like a decade trying to get that energy to go somewhere else, but I sometimes feel like nothing has changed.
What to do with it is where I get caught. It’s never safe enough to let it out so it stays in. And when it stays in it’s dying to get out.
The rage gives you energy and passion that the depression shuts down. Your decision of where to apply that rage...And what to direct that energy to...Will determine whether or not you make it out of this hole, and actually get to enjoy some aspects of life.
God knows I've fucked up many many times, thanks for the vid.
and God still loves you homie, keep your heart planted in him. Sending love.
Same here. Too many times, I have caused too much hurt. I have been asking God for forgiveness and to give me the strength to be much better.
I'm trying to learn to forgive my dad for my horrible excuse for a childhood. My mom got better, still improves herself regularly and I have no more resentment for her because she is no longer the person she was. But my dad is never going to move on. He's going to die with a bottle in his hand, struggling to forget what he did to me, my siblings, and to himself. I will never get to share closure with him. I will never get to forgive him to his face and mean it. By the time I finally learn to forgive him, he will be dead. But I accept that. I accept that not all closure is pretty, or fast. I accept that it will take me years more to truly process the depth of my trauma and let go of the remaining threads of resentment. I accept this and it's okay.
this really hurt to read because I feel your pain, sending love.
I lost my father to alcoholism in 2020. He was 48 years old. At times in my life , he abused me , abused my mother , spent money we needed for bills and food on alcohol and drugs. Constant fights, arguing and pain.
And yet, four years later. All I wish for is another chance to talk to him and to establish forgiveness. I know it's hard to see now. I know the pain and all that has happened has blinded you to it. That's okay. But don't ever count out forgiveness. Some day you will understand the value of the time you could spend, the fences you could have repaired. The wounds you can still mend. ❤
@oogabooga20222saying stuff like this is just ignorant and immature behavior, an emotionally intelligent person would feel solidarity or empathy, not just go “well he’s still your dad” that’s just some dickhead shit
@oogabooga20222having an absuive father or even mother for that matter is much worse than having no mother or father. You shouldn’t compare struggles either. It’s weird.
The song at 18:25. That's the feelings this comment gave me. Misery. Nothing but pain. Unbearable pain.
Atleast I'm not hurting anyone anymore and atleast the cycle stops with me. 😢
Glad you're learning to move on, hope I can make it there. My dad was no different. In denial.
To forgive is to grow and allow yourself to grow. Do not think forgiving is to forget the past mistakes you have made. When you forgive, you are acknowledging the fact that it has happened and it is something to learn from.
@Dream-Eternal87
Um, hello, dear stranger. ^^" I've grown curious if I can offer any info that may help, so uh, here's something I had to respond with:
I encourage the path of strength and discipline. It's not about the path you feel you should be taking but rather the one you may often most need. Over time, along this path, you will see your progress surely but slowly. I also encourage you to ask a friend if reflection is hard, sometimes it’s better to trust others, even though it feels blind. It's like taking a leap of faith. I only recommend strength cause the effects are usually positive, and hard work often rewards those willing to push themselves.
Additionally, I don't want to presume anything, but with the last message you sent, I think you have acknowledged the main issue you have struggled with. The logical thing to do is to take actions to solve it; otherwise, learn how to solve it. (This is something I've been taught, I'm not sure it works for everyone. ^^")
Alas, remember change will always take time and effort. Following that, with strength and practice, the work gets easier. Strength also makes you more confident and less vulnerable to bad thoughts. To overcome bad thoughts, you should realize you have strength, and you shouldn't focus your efforts and energy on something that is a constant reminder of your pain. You should cement a new idea of positive results and abilities you have; something along the lines of, "you can always do better, more positive things." Uh, pardon if this section is confusing. I just believe it would be best to build a new foundation or slate now that you know you can move on.
Again, forgiveness is no emotional compensation, even though forgiveness can be given in many emotional forms. I still believe it's acknowledging the pain and past, stating what it is, summarizing it, and then just taking the next steps for the better (or for the worse, which is usually a decision made from ignorance, laziness, or other negative thoughts and feelings). Make sure to recognize your weaknesses and strengths, where you stand now, and where you will or want to go. (Try to say "I will" over. "I will try." Procrastination and laziness is a big hurdle for anyone.)
I'm sorry if this was very long or sounded like something you don't want to hear. I just find everyone fascinating, and one day, I wish that people knew what they are capable of.
Thank you though it was for another have A great day you precious soul😊
@@Dream-Eternal87I'm also burdened by a lot of shame over past deeds. All I can say is, remember to stay kind to yourself and forgiveness is the only way forward. That doesn't make it easier, but it is worthwhile. There's much to love about us - flaws and all 🩷
It's an excuse to shamefully forgive yourself in the of name growth. u can suffer and still grow because u already know u wont repeat the same mistake as you are already regretting your past mistakes oh.. not mistakes its bloody sins , most morale thing is to suffer and punish yourself and if u can then possibly end yourself. U just need an excuse to hide yourself and smile again even after doing such henious things shame on u
@hectictrolls6176 Of course, humans can sin, but that isn't the same as making a mistake. Forgiveness is not for what we see as sin, it is what we see as mistakes. That differs person to person. No matter if they are bad or good mistakes, forgiveness is the act of moving on with yourself after making one. It does not mean you are a good or bad person, that depends on a completely different opinion of yourself.
An example is that even a cruel, heart ridden villain can forgive the person they hate and even thank them for making them who they are; simply because the villain decided and made actions to grow in an evil direction after being treated horribly by this person they hate.
That's a bit fictional, of course. It's not a very strong argument, but it's an example nonetheless.
Can I ask why you think forgiveness is an excuse? I see forgiving as an action that takes strength and logical work.
I would also like to ask, what is a mistake to you? Are there any details you can provide me?
You've made me curious, and now I want to understand you. I also wanted to tell you I see your statements as weak or lacking foundation. I would like more perspective and tangible reasoning.
I won't say that you don't bring up a good point about people trying to make an excuse, thinking forgiveness can provide that scapegoat, it's a very common misunderstanding, actually. That is why I tried defining the way I did. What I have argued about forgiveness is just what I see as a solid annotation of forgiveness.
Thank you for reading this. I would like to read more of what you have to say.
Some of these songs remind me of old flash game menus, this weird stillness of nostalgia and isolation. It's very healing actually.
Try Flight main menu music ;)
Forgive yourself for the love you have given to others when you needed it for yourself. Its not lost. Youve shown you know how to love. Isnt it time you saved some for yourself? You deserve it. You always have. Just for existing but also and expecially for giving when you didnt have much and didnt know how to receive. Please. This world needs you and that heart of yours. Take care of yourself and nurture that heart. You need it and so does your world. I see you. Keep your head up, my fellow warrior of the heart.
There are no accidents. You’re on this journey for a reason.
Forgiveness is to free one's self from burdens and give self a peaceful mind, and soul. Each of us deserve peace
One day, maybe, I will. Until then I will work every night and every day to prove that I’m no longer that stupid person.
The people I’ve hurt may never see that, and my goal may never be fulfilled. But at least I will have tried.
I will forgive others, forever, for I know how it feels to need forgiveness. The living hell that it causes.
I can’t wait for this shame to be over. So instead I will work for it.
Reflection is truly key. At least you're peering into the portal of fire and not averting your eyes.
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (book I)
Trying is all that matters.
Stay with it friend. You know the road, its just one step at a time. I'm there too. I can relate. You've got this. 😊
Right on! ✊🏼
Accept your memories and move beyond their reach.
Memories hold the pieces of what built you, but you get to decide how to be built with those pieces.
Now is not then...
Forgiving yourself is a synonim of moving forward
I ran into this Playlist about 2 months ago. Days after my breakup of a 4 year relationship. Without getting into details (my fault) I saved this Playlist for later I haven't heard a single second until now. Today was the day i forgave myself and let go.
It's hard. It hurts. It takes work. But eventually you too well forgive yourself. Give "you" a chance to grow.
I used to feel like my emotions were a mistake, like I didn't _deserve_ to feel any way, like all I deserved was to be removed from existence because my life was a stain.
I would consciously remind myself "I've seen you be a good person. I've seen you take joy in little things and improve the world around you. This feeling will pass and I can't wait to meet you there. Keep going."
I've moved to a different city, I have my own car now, have cut ties with the toxic people in my life, brought those people I trust closer to me to help as an adult now, and am slowly learning to make friends and be a good neighbor instead of shutting down.
I no longer doubt my right to exist; feelings hit me naturally as they should; when something upsets me I confront it directly instead of shutting down.
It's been 5 years since I've needed to combat the gnawing doubt, the self-hatred. I know now what I am and accept that as something not to be ashamed of.
Looking back on those gnawing thoughts I used to fight on the regular, that was a totally different person. He was a good kid, he was just going through some shit.
I'm glad things worked out for that boy.
Keep going.
“Keep going” is very apt. No matter what it is you can get through it. All it takes is time
Thank you.
Does anybody else feel like they want to forgive themselves and everybody else but feel too worthless or bad to do that?
Like you don’t deserve to get away from the pain?
Yes. In fact I know everyone has forgiven me but myself.
Haha same. I continually screw up my life and unintentionally the lives of the ones I love. Depression is a real bitch.
Everybody forgives me every time, and want to see me succeed. But I always fall short.
Real
@@boll2.094 It takes time, it always does. Especially when you're feeling terrible. They're right to forgive you. You're doing your best.
i think it’s beautiful that you’re who you are now.
life is all about change whether we want it to happen or not, and that’s okay. it’s scary and it’s going to feel like you’re suffering at times, but never forget that you wouldn’t be here or where you are now because of your past, because you changed.
maybe where you are now is good, maybe it isn’t, but you’re still here, right? there is always time for you to make things right, there’s always time to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. let go once you have come to terms with them; you don’t have to worry about what you did because you know that you have grown from it.
i’m so proud of you. you are someone’s reason to breathe, to smile, to love; i hope that someone that you prioritize to make feel that way is you. you deserve to be here, to smile, to love.
forgive and love the you for who you were, and be excited & in love with shaping who you will become.
take care, stardust. please keep your light going, this world is so lucky to have you
You made me cry.
@@yv0nne_1 i hope that the times you do cry remind you that you’re human and you’re still able to feel what life allows us to feel, my darling :)
a mini reminder: it won’t always be or feel good in the moment, but being able to experience all feelings and life in its complexity & craziness is what living is all about. i hope you continue to choose living and make sure it’s so you can grow into the beautiful, wandering soul that you KNOW you are in this physical world
it’s so hard accepting and letting go despite knowing what I truly am
In this moment we’re all sharing, we come to a common understanding. It’s a strange yet beautiful thing, all of us in this shared, short, sentimental moment together, yet also completely separate. None of us will truly get to know each other, the lives we’ve each lived, the happiness, sadness, heartbreak, the bad we’ve done, nor the good. All we have is this moment in time that we each experience individually. Idk who will see this, who you are, ur accomplishments, ur failures, but from human to human, soul to soul, I care for you, I love you. There’s love out there, even if it seems fleeting, it’s the only thing. Choose to love.
Sometimes when I’m driving I look out to all the cars around me and think, “Around me now are hundreds of souls that I will never meet yet I yearn to feel the heartbeats of all of them.”
To love is not to understand, but to want to understand.
"I am you and what I see is me"
It's not easy to give the love you don't get.
Thank you for lending me some, I'll share it
I want to stop running away. I know exactly what I have to do but I just can't bring up the courage to do so. Instead I keep distracting myself from my duties because I fear I will fail again. Just right now I have the urge to go smoke and disassociate for hours instead of confronting my feelings because it's the easy thing to do. The memories of my past self still haunt me.
I've been unemployed for neigh on 5 years now. I don't have friends anymore, live with my parents again whom I don't have the relationship with I wish I had. I'm slowly working on fixing my life right now but it's hard all alone.
Listening to this playlist and reading your comments made me cry which I haven't for a long time. I'm happy I found this place.
Wherever you may find yourself, feel kissed and hugged. We're all gonna make it ❤
good luck! even though i’m just a guy from yt, i wish you’ll have good life, wake up every morning and feel that everything alright, things going right, feel that you gonna be okay. I know, it’s not something easy, and maybe i’m not gentle enough with my words, but anyway i wish you that
stay strong, you’ll manage it
Forgiveness isn't about condoning bad behavior; it's about freeing yourself from the weight of resentment. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s even okay to hurt people. But it’s important to forgive yourself and move forward. Remember, you’re human, and everyone makes mistakes.
Why is it so much easier to forgive others than it is to forgive yourself? Maybe its just a me thing, but I've always been someone who can forgive others quite easily, but when it comes to forgiving myself... lets just say I get less than stellar results.
It’s hard to take the advice we give to others, because we have a hard time seeing our actions from an outside perspective. If you saw someone you cared about, plagued with resentment and shame over the things they did, and those things were exactly the same things you’ve done, what would you tell that person? What words of comfort would you give them?
And why don’t you feel as though you deserve that same grace? What makes you so much less worthy than them? Nothing at all.
Ive been that way my whole life. It's a living hell in itself.
@@R0S3inC0NCR33T*hugs* ur god sent
In therapy there is this 2 chair technique where you take seat in 2 chairs and talk to the "you" in the other chair and try to give it some positive feedback
@@splattbinat1542 I’ve done that before! Would highly recommend it. It’s easy to lose perspective on what sort of person you are when you’re stuck inside your head the whole time
in this moment, as you are, you are right where you are meant to be. have courage and honour your choices.
I feel like I've changed but i also feel that i lost something that i will never be able to find...
🫂
say sorry. that fixed it for me. knowing they are alright and happy i apologized was enough.
same. And i’m forever searching for it
we are not paintings, we are human. we can never stay the same forever. discover new things about yourself, create new experiences, new passions, new hobbies. outweigh what you've lost.
@@gracia8348 ive found ive discovered too much. to satisfy my curiosity, i have to create more things to discover.
I've learned so much, yet haven't changed a bit...
I feel like the world is leaving me behind. It's suffocating.
As much as I've changed, the world has changed and gone forward ten times faster.
It feels like I don't know how to swim and am drowning.
A futile struggle in slow motion as water enters your lungs.
Arms flailing, legs kicking.. you fight for air, to be afloat.
But inevitably sink.
All you need is peace and calm, one piece of knowledge to save yourself. But no one is there to help. No one was there to teach you.
So you drown.
It's lonely.
shits been rough lately, comments are helping me see i’m not alone and people understand. thank you algorithm.
I don’t want to live and don’t want to die. Just stuck in between and I hope to get over this feeling but tbh I’m not sure if I can. Thank God, I’m not alone in this sheet and there is always some people that can relate to it and not push you away as a threat or a walking mistake of a man. Thank you, keep going! Be loved and supportive! I love you!
Надеюсь справишься со всеми своими проблемами, братиш 🙏
Best thing I ever did is accept the past and embrace the present. If you fall, get back up..and keep fighting. Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Everything will be okay.
Ambient music makes me fill so alive. It was therapy when I was depressed and now it’s just a comfort for me. I love ambient.
I used to think of myself as a burden, someone who bothered others by simply being there and I was really self-conscious. I was also timid and used to feel a lot of guilt. I thought that I didn't deserve anything good that I had and that I would never find love. With time I saw that I was wrong. I saw that I deserve good things happening to me, I deserve good people around me, and deserve to receive the same love I give out. I also notice that love is all around me in all sorts of forms. Nowadays people have said to me that I'm one of the most extroverted people they have ever met and that I make the room a more comfortable place bc I have good energy. So maybe you shouldn't go too hard on yourself and let the good in you blossom instead of only seeing your flaws.
Loneliness has been a staple of my life since I was a child. Moving from place to place so I could never keep friends, having the pressure to be something I could never be by my family, constantly losing the friends I made in my adult life and being amazed if anyone even made it a year in my life without disappearing.
When I first fell into darkness, I blamed everyone else; I blamed the world. But slowly, that began to transition into me blaming myself for everything. I began to drown self-hatred with cheap thrills and temporary happiness, which only led to more pain. I didn't learn to forgive myself, I learned that my reason for living was to not care whether I was alive or dead, as I viewed myself as irredeemable. In not forgiving myself for everything I did, I became more of a terrible person with the idea that I could never be worse than I already was. I hurt a lot of people, but none more than myself.
My birthday is in two weeks, and as I approach an age that I admittedly feel delayed to learn about forgiveness for myself, I am happy to say it has officially been over a year since I tried to take my own life. I still feel the weight of my mistakes, and I hope every day that the people I was awful to are happy in life, but I push forward, knowing that I can try my hardest to only create positive experiences for everyone in my life now.
hey, i know world is not the best place sometimes, but here are still many good people you can vibe with. Even if i don’t know your situation, i believe you’ll find your dudes and your family. Good luck!!
For anyone here, you have made a mistake, right, but you cant do anything but regret it, you cant solve the past, then stop this regretting endless painful regrettion inside of you, and forget about it and let clouds be clear in your mind, you dont have to feel regret, no one ever was clear of mistakes, everyone have flaws and dark spots, clear them, be great, and have a great life
I don't think I've actually forgiven myself for anything yet. I just distract myself and forget...
i suspect the same...
It's gonna be a long, painful process, you'll be wading through a swamp of things that you've done and that have happened to you, but eventually, you'll find the thing that eats you up every night.
That's okay. Start by forgiving yourself for escaping. It's what people normally do when they're in pain. It's okay.
Try not to have a crisis while browsing youtube challenge
I failed
😢
same🙃
Forgiving yourself is not optional. You have one chance in the driver's seat. Make as much out of the ride as you can.
amen
💯
Feel that heartbeat in your chest, it's going to be ok.
Это видео попалось мне после часовой истерики из-за сильного чувства вины, которое меня всегда преследует. И вот я наконец поняла, что не обязана быть идеальной. Нужно просто расслабиться.. (хотя бы на какое-то время)
Рекомендации ютуба действительно знают, что мне нужно
Its hard to forgive yourself when you know you f*cking up during the act but dont stop. I know they say recognizing it is a step forward but time is running out. It is. The world is not waiting for me. I get tired of breathing some times.
you matter and you are still worthy to try again even if you mess up on a new day with new chances. those are your days to conquer or fail, but they are your days to do so with a gift of life my dear friend. keep holding on, it will get better.
Forgiving yourself can be a hard thing to forge your spirit into accepting naturally.
Please don’t be hard on yourself, friend. Feel what you must feel, as long as you learn to let go and accept the terms of reality at hand. It’s not about making the mistake or regret; it’s about learning and shaping yourself into a better experienced being.
Don’t lose yourself in the rage of your mistakes. I know the pain too well. You will find your peace, eventually.
Time is your best medicine and your progress will show itself in good time.
comment section passes the vibe check - grateful to be reading everyone’s shares as I work to forgive myself 🙏
Shit got me balling my eyes out. Glad
everyone found this. It was needed. The safe part of the internet 🖤
These comments made me cry, but in a good way. I know that I'm not alone with my feelings and I think that heals something inside me. And after I'm done crying, I will go to sleep and hopefully feel more relieved afterards.
I say what truly makes a man is not how much weight he can carry but why is it that he continues to bare it each and every day with a smile. The will of a truly selfless, honorable man is that of a baobab tree, rigid and durable, unable to be burned in vain; however it is the fruit it continually produces that not only keeps itself alive for 1000’s of years, but also any and all of those that love it back.
Do not acquiesce to the temptation of defeat when faced with malfeasance and all its abhorrent faces. Perseverance is only reserved for those who’ve already conquered conflict.
Keep going my brothers/sisters/fellow humans.
I look at you, my eye filled with a mix of pain and vulnerability. "So here I am. Broken. Disfigured. Alone. Or... or I was. Until you saw my youtube comment."
I fall silent, my story laid bare between us. The room feels heavy with the weight of our shared pain, but there's also a strange sense of... relief. Of finally being seen, truly seen, by someone who understands.
it’s difficult to put yourself out there. I can’t do it. I can’t get personal with people because I’m always afraid I’m going to something strange that will make them dislike me. Even online I feel like I’m stepping boundaries or miscommunicating.
I wasn’t always like this. I used to be social, but now I spend most of my time alone. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be human.
I feel exactly the same way and struggled with that for a long time, it's nice to know I'm not alone dealing with feelings like that. It'll get better mate, the biggest step forward is acknowledging it
I feel you
Hey hey, same here. I've been trying to put myself out there lately, and share some of my own personal hobbies (art, making music) and I've come to terms lately that I'm rather deathly afraid of even opening those parts up, as if everything I make is some part of me too that is afraid of criticism or being misunderstood - Posting things online, even behind an anonymous handle does not make it any easier either.
It does get easier once you acknowledge it though. I mean, it got you to type that comment right? No one said socializing is easy, but if you can have small victories like this and really put yourself out there, it will get easier overtime.
Ive done things in my past that were downright deplorable. They may follow me to the grave and people i meet and know will also know these things. But thats not who i am anymore. It took losing everything to realize that. I made a promise to myself that no matter what I will defy my past and become who i always wanted to be; someone to be proud of. Before I was arrested I had no humanity. I honestly had been through so much trauma it broke my spirit and i stopped caring. During that time i did a lot of damage to myself and my family. I went away thinking i would finally be allowed to wither away but instead i was given LIFE. How could someone so wretched be given this wonderful gift? Im no longer the same. I WANT TO LIVE. I I FOUND MY HEART. And it wasnt somewhere lost, it was in me the whole time...I promise that i will have the life ive envisioned for myself and those i love. What do you guys think? Can someone be forgiven for even the most terrible things if they truly want to be better? Where do we draw the line on forgiveness? Interested to hear different perspectives...
I have a saying that I’ve build due to my extensive trauma.
Those who do bad but regret, deserve help, care, assistance and support. They regret it and maybe don’t know how to stop so assistance is good. Those people don’t DESERVE forgiveness but get forgiveness. Because forgiveness can’t be demanded..
But those who don’t regret, don’t deserve forgiveness. If they’re faced with the things they’ve done and are repeatedly let know of it yet still deny it then to hell with them. Of course they inherently deserve to have help too but it’s where I believe they deserve to feel the hurt they’ve inflicted to hopefully understand, get help and regret it. So once they regret it, finally the process to potential forgiveness can be a possibility. But again, forgiveness can’t be demanded..
So I believe it’s good you learned, got help and want to get better, that you’re doing what you can to be better!
I’m Proud of you.
But know people will never have to forgive you. And some might never will. And that’s okay..
I hope you’ll have a good weekend 🧡
@romanticsecret6365 Thank you! ❤️
Individuals who have experienced childhood trauma may be more prone to negative mental feedback loops. Epigenetic changes from trauma can contribute to:
1. -Increased stress reactivity-: Hyperarousal and exaggerated stress response can lead to negative feedback loops.
2. -Emotional dysregulation-: Difficulty managing emotions can result in rumination and self-reinforcing negative thought patterns.
3. -Hypervigilance-: A state of increased alertness can lead to excessive self-monitoring and criticism.
4. -Negative self-perception-: Epigenetic changes can influence self-perception, leading to self-blame, shame, and low self-esteem.
5. -Dissociation-: Disconnection from oneself and others can perpetuate negative feedback loops.
6. -Lack of self-compassion-: Difficulty practicing self-care and self-compassion can exacerbate negative mental states.
7. -Rumination and worry-: Epigenetic changes can contribute to excessive worry and rumination.
8. -Avoidance behaviors-: Avoiding challenges or emotions can reinforce negative feedback loops.
These negative mental feedback loops can manifest in various ways, such as:
- Anxiety and depression
- Self-destructive behaviors
- Substance abuse
- Self-sabotaging patterns
- Difficulty with intimacy and relationships
It's essential to recognize that these feedback loops can be interrupted and rewritten through:
- Mindfulness and self-awareness practices
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Trauma-informed therapies (e.g., EMDR, somatic experiencing)
- Self-compassion and self-care practices
- Social support networks
Remember, individuals who have experienced childhood trauma can develop resilience and work towards healing and positive change.
@oryxxyro814 that's exactly what I've dealt with. Of course no excuse for my own mistakes I take full responsibility for that. Now I can understand things that played a part in my thinking and actions. That you ❤️
This sounds like the story of my life, although different circumstances. When I was at my breaking point, I couldn't go on as I was anymore. I was faced between the choice of death, or otherwise knowing the only way I would stop hurting other people was if I could make myself believe I was a good person. And it went against every fiber of my being, everything I believed in. But what better is a monster to do? Every other monster out there, what else could you possibly ask of them aside from those two options? Now I have it all. It's surreal.
No, I will never forgive myself.
But, I will never forget.
I have actually found peace and joy on thriving on the dislike of my younger selves actions, and pride myself on being everything that my younger self was not.
One of my most powerful memories was when I cursed my younger self out, told them they deserved to be gone and dead, told them that I hate how much they hurt me, and that I was going to do everything in my power to make sure I will never be like them again. I spit on the ground, and left, and have never looked back. Gave me some closure I needed for my teen/childhood, and gave me some space to think about other things for one.
Now, spending time hating, to the point of being disruptive, will drag you down. But, moving on, whether you forgive your self or not, is what is key. At least, too me.
Getting better out of spite. I like it
i dont like thinking about it negativly, but if it works, it works, and if its off your mind, than more power to you
there is nothing to do but move on
I love reading the comment section so much
Always worrying about the future will hinder you making decisions in the present
I found this on a really weird day. A year ago today I moved in with the love of my life and today will be the first day in 6 months I have a room to call my own again. The last thing my ex told me before I left was he had hoped that I would be homeless and experience suffering; and when I left I chose that over him. I called the police at 12 at night during the largest snowstorm my town had experienced in 70 years. I stood outside barefoot in my underwear and just stared at the stop sign until they came. The image reminds me of that so much. I feel like I’ve gone full circle and this was sent to me as confirmation that it’s really over. I can finally start to forgive him now, and move forward.
I want to forgive myself yet it's so difficult. I don't feel like who I used to be a year ago, I feel like a whole different person, but I still carry this guilt and shame on the inside. Part of it fuels me to become a better man and part of it reminds me of the things I've lost due to my mistakes. I know no amount of guilt will change the past I know that but I can't shake this feeling, it gnaws at the edges of my mind, it makes my chest cave in, and I grow numb. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I want to forgive myself and everyone else who's hurt me. I am so exhausted; I no longer wish to hate. I know there is love on the inside of me, she showed me that she allowed me too although we were in two different stages in life. I am just tired I no longer feel like hating anyone, I feel different in my skin and know I am on the right path but it has been the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.
You are enough, you were never stupid, just let go and everything will move forward on its own.
Dear younger me,
Forgive me for giving up on ourself so soon in life. Forgive me for the mistakes I've made and know I'm trying to make the future you wanted a reality. I'm taking it step by step every day. And I know you wanted us to succeed in life so we will do just that in due time.
Your Present Self
He, you forgives you. Keep fighting and pushing may angels walk you where you need to go much love from all around.
Hello, I just wanted to say -- that I've struggled with BPD for awhile now, I lost my therapist and only support and was put into a rough DBT program in the process. At first, I thought it was my falling. That it was a sign my life was going downhill. But for the first time in forever, I realized...Not everything is what it seems, that really darkness is just the way to light. I'm proud of the things I've accomplished, and I hope everyone who sees this understands that it's okay to be imperfect, what matters most is you forgive yourself for the things that have happened in your life. It took so very long, but I am stable now. And, I wish the same for you. You deserve nurturing, empathy, understanding, growth, love and peace. I'm proud of everyone here, this is your sign to not give up just yet. Keep pushing and things will turn out.
Right now, life feels like a mountain. I've ascended one side. Looking back down I'm too far to turn around now. Even if I did go back I wouldn't be the same person I was the first go round. No matter where I go it's new territory to navigate as this version of myself. Every season started off terrifying. I'm still scared tbh. But scared isn't dead and everything else is figure-out-able. Even so that's the risk, you could be everything you ever dreamed of or you could be whatever watered down version of yourself you deem the safest to be. Either way you could end up being as uncomfortable as you are right this second trying to decide the rest of your life at 3am. So if you ask me the fear is worth it. The pain, the hiccups, the red tape, the time it takes everything is worth it. At the end of my life I hope to meet myself in the mirror with gentle eyes and say "Old girl you tried and thats all we really wanted anyways." (Sorry I like to get existential in the YT comments)
One must imagine Sisyphus happy
these songs give me a feeling of warm, as if nothing ever happened, I just imagine myself being the luckiest guy I know for being alive and still going after all that's happened to me, for everyone's whos having it rough and is still here, you have to keep going. It's only you and yourself who can get you out, nobody else, don't let others have an impact on who you are as a person, don't change yourself for others. you are you and you're unique.
I had a friend we got in a stupid argument that cost our friendship. I tried so hard to fix it, yet it went nowhere they refused eachtime, I hate saying it but I neglected myself trying to fix it I failed some classes, lost a bit of passion in the things I was interested in, I lashed out at my family not knowing how to tell someone. But recently I forgiven them but it doesn't sit well witth me I feel scared they'll do the same thing again they claimed that they've changed yet they haven't shown me anything I hate it I want to believe them I really do but I don't know what to do.
Forgiveness isn’t always about the person you’re forgiving mate. Forgiveness starts and ends with doing it for yourself. Holding onto pain, to sadness, to anger it only serves as a thorn in one’s side. It may scab over, you may forget it’s there, but it’s never gonna heal until you pull it out. My mom and dad both have done me pretty shit. I used to be so bitter with both of them. I still have my moments but one day I sat back and thought about it all with a new perspective.
I know my parents aren’t the best. I know that I get hurt by making effort to rekindle our relationships. Each time I try and get hurt the previous wounds open back up and I’m worse off than before. Does it mean I’m going to stop hoping one day we have what I want? Absolutely not. I forgive them for the past but until I see changed behavior from them I have to love them at a distance. I have no ones fault to blame but my own if I get hurt again because I’ve been bitten by the snake many times. I forgive people but I don’t forget. Trust your brain and trust your heart and be true to yourself. As long as you prioritize your peace and your happiness things will work exactly how they should.
I just attempted, making my friends and partner worry for me..but thankfully everything is okay. To take my mind off of the pain and stress, so I immediately clicked on this and now we're here..Goodnight yall.
I’m so happy you are okay! I hope you feel better and can come to forgive yourself and move on. I truly wish you only the best, we may not know one another, but no one truly deserves to experience anything close to what happened to you. I am so glad you are still around, you can attend to others needs, but you should still be here for you. I hope you can learn to love yourself. That is the strongest thing you can do. Sometimes we need to be a little egotistical. Do some things for you. Do what makes YOU happy. I hope you know that you’re worth something. A lot in fact. You may say that you can’t wait until you do something great and be someone. You are someone right now. You mean something right now. To a lot of people! Love from a random stranger, I hope you may never face any danger.
@@ineedhelp9428 Tysm!! That means alot :3
Prayers for continued health and wellness ❤🙏❤️
Wishing the best for you
Thank you for choosing to still be here with us today... stay strong ❤
good comments, great recommendation.
forgive yourself, others, and internalize the remembrance. Heaven is inside us, we just have to find it.
Miss ya dad❤
I needed to hear this
Actually maybe read this right?
you have so much to live for stranger, dont give up. in the end you'll always have nobody but you yourself, the one who's been through with you, throughout every journey and situation you've been through, you had yourself, you always have you. you need to accept that you are you, that you are who you are. its okay to have flaws, its okay to be that way, just be sure to know what you're doing if you dont want to regret things afterwards. sure things dont go exactly as you planned, but don't you think its more exciting that way? to actually live through the unknowns, its scary, yet its also exciting. you need to learn that its okay to let go, that you need to let go of things that are not meant for you to hold on to anymore. you forgive others easily yet such simple wrong move that you did is hard for you to forgive yourself. its okay to make mistakes, thats one way of learning, every mistakes that you made, you need to learn and be better, to not make the same mistakes again. forgiving yourself is a hard thing to do, but if the time comes that you finally forgave yourself maybe then you'll be free from every burden that you used to carry. everyone has their own story to make and to live for, so as you. may your story ends with a happy ending fellow stranger.
Thank you for this! Im not in depression (maybe), but when i hear something from your list, I feel myself soo lite and cheezy.
Im trying to battle many addictions atm and even undergone surgery for one of them. In my world at this moment its what i need to do for my soul and its a way of love towards myself. Its not easy at all. But im slowly building a stronger self.
Every single day...
keep trying, ok? i wish you to overcome this
@@Jey_A-A thanks man, still not there. Relapsing is so easy ...
Wish i had a band of brothers with a strong mindset to overcome these things atm.
Asking for help isn't giving up, it's refusing to give up. Be more kind to yourself :)
Kratos words helped me to
Dont be sorry.. Be better
I will share my story, because why not? i think i need to get it out from my chest. Maybe even someone else will find it relateble.
For 16 years (17 rn) i was told by my mom that i will achieve absolutely nothing in this life. The reason is - i never actually enjoyed anything besides spending time home on my pc. The only reason my grades were not that bad is.. I didnt want to hear my mom yell at me again.
For the most part it felt like i lived two different lives: first one is mostly chill with my friends, playing games and doing goofy stuff, really great life if you ask me. The second one was complete psychological disaster. I was scared to live, i hated myself so much that in start of my second year in college i just give up.
I said "fuck it" lets just kill ourselfs after christmas, life wont get any good later any way, only worse. So i stop care about most of my shit, the only thing i truly care of was my dog. And on december 30th i meet my first girlfriend.
It was the first time i ever fall in love with someone, and oh boy that was best few months of my life. The feeling of being loved by someone who you find best person in world is just unmatched by anything.
But later in relationship, the problems start to rise. I was really obsessed with her, really angry that she doesnt want to spend time with me and instead chilling with her friends. But i didnt really wanted to talk about it, because i understood that she needed her time, it couldnt be always me.
Despite that, i start hate myself. If i couldnt catch her attention for weeks, theres something with me, right?
I hated myself very match. Started choke myself with bare hands to just calm down my mind, etc. And it was not something she didnt know about, i told her i had serious problems with mental health but she was not interested in that, mad that i am such a pussy.
i take that as a reason to continue struggle on my own, just hope for a day to end, hopefully meet up with her but that was rare case.
Soon enough i was on edge of my mind.
I decide to talk with her about stop this relationship, because i was feeling like each day i making steps in opposite direction from being a good human.
She said that i am dumb and everything will by fine.
But soon enough, few days later i decided to talk about my mental health again, saying that i am so grateful to her for being around me when i am so weak.
She said i am weakling and she hate me, that everything between us ended and she doesnt wanna see me as a lover or a friend, since i was lying to her that things were good when they doesnt.
It was so weird for me, i thought she actually started to care when she said that i am such an idiot to trying end this relationship, but few days later she told me that she hate me.
I get through break up pretty easy, in fact it was delight, finally i felt that i like my life just by being myself. And maybe, just maybe... i am a good man. I doing good things and my low self esteem was a mistake the whole time. This conclusion make my life 10 times better, i am much more happy now. Hope everyone listen to that doing fine
i am so numb. i am so numb. my body used to be full of life, my mind too. I used to feel love, and spread love. I used to be depressed, many times, and always pulled myself out of that black hole i so appropriately call "the void". I always got out and escaped this, ALWAYS, either through sports, or mindfulness, patience, love, friends, maybe even family. But since 2020 everything changed. I wanted to live alone, I could not cope living together with other people in a shared apartment, i was too mature for those kids. I was 26, they were early 20s. I was working, they were studying, partying. I wanted stability and calmness, a routine, focus, so i moved alone. We all know what happened next in 2020, the pandemic, it got me as well as everybody by surprise. I ended up being isolated for weeks at a time in my new home, for the first time in my life i was alone. my family thousands of miles away, constantly buying more and more into the news about how scary and deadly the virus is, and how help is on the way soon, a state of continuous anxiety enveloped me, without even realizing. I never knew what anxiety was. i was working from home, full time again since my last burnout which left me in ruins 2 years back. "This time however, I will do things differently! I said to myself, believing in myself but also doubting myself at the same time. It is weird how we work... I did end up doing things differently indeed. I cut contact with 90%of the people I had in my life, to this day even I keep in touch with max 3, maybe 4. It was too much. I was so comfortable being alone, but I was also diving deeper and deeper into the void of comfort, of bad habits, porn, alcohol, self doubt, long hours in the night, bad food and bad hygiene. I would be lying if I would have told you that this did not affect me, but it very well did. Quite a bit more than I would believe it really. But then, after a while...one year of waiting which seemed like 10 years of prison, suddenly "help" arrived. Now we all had a way to protect our loved ones by vaccinating ourselves, so i blindly jumped on the vaccine train and took the shot. I had really bad side effects from it, side effects that haunt me to this day, and are the basis of trauma that every time is coming back, whenever I think of the past me. Not the loving, caring me, that shined light on the world, but the scared, panicked me that was lost in the night, and thought he would die from the side effects, while nobody helped him, not even the doctors. I lost sensitivity in my hands, my neck got blocked behind my skull, and one of my legs got very painful, which even to this day stands with me. Every time I exercise or do anything, my leg hurts. I am scared, I am scared but now I am better. I received no help, even though i sought it, everyone told me "bullshit...vaccines help people!" "imagine how you would have felt if you got the virus and didn't vaccinate!!" "like this you can at least save the old people!" no, i am sorry but i do not believe in this anymore. I experienced first hand the traumatizing effects of the pandemic, upon the mind and for the unfortunate on the body as well. I was weak, and a part of me died first when isolating myself, and a bigger part once I had the side effects of the shot. I didn't believe it myself either, but I even looked through my photos and I realized I stopped taking photos exactly 3 days after I got the shot. my creativity died, my sense of love towards anything and everything disappeared, and instead pure, awful dread took place, in all the void that was left. I have been battling crippling anxiety and depression since then, and nothing that I have tried helps in any way with how I feel. I have a girlfriend now and I feel like I do not deserve her, she is too good for me, I am evil, I am hateful and I despise lots of things. I need something that my girlfriend cannot offer me, something that the world cannot offer me, and something that I had in me long before, but lost so deep down the void that I can barely recognize the past me. Where was I when I needed myself the most? Where was I when I was judging myself on what I was doing before and after all this? Where am I right now, that I cannot get past these traumatizing events? Where am I heading to, at 1000 miles per hour? months pass like days, days like minutes and minutes like seconds, and I look back at who I was, and what my thoughts were, and how sharp and interests I had, how articulated I used to be, and now I am none of those anymore. I am so numb, so numb. I feel dead. I am dead.
I cannot forgive myself for allowing such hurt and betrayal to fall onto the one closest to me. For not further pushing my own luck, disregarding the consequences that pale in comparison to the damage that has been done otherwise not only to them but to myself. For my own cowardice, I have ended up with severe trauma, as has someone else. I was complacent in it's happening, and for that, I don't think it's deserving to forgive.
But maybe one day, if things do turn out okay. Right now, they aren't, and I can only hope I can find myself the resources to make things better.
Reflection is truly key. Better to stare into the portal of fire rather than to run and hide from it.
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
"Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again."
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
--Diamond Dragons (book I)
My friend, the past is the past. You cannot change what was done, or how it happened, you can only move forward. Find it in yourself through reflection to appreciate the present. We have ALL messed up in the past, but that is why we have the future to be better! We have an opportunity every waking moment to change the way we perceive things, the way we act, and the way we live! This all lies up to you, but I'm sure you will do just fine if you try. You and I are human, we won't last forever and we all make mistakes every day, this is how we grow. You have the capacity to recognize what you did was wrong, meaning you are a good person, but I understand how hard it is to see that. I have done horrible things to the people around me as well, but it's over, there is nothing I can do but improve myself for the remaining people around me. Make most of your time while you are here. Forgive yourself and forgive others, so that you can appreciate and enjoy the true beauty of the world. I believe in you and I'm sure the people around you do too, and most importantly, from human to human, I love you! You got this, time & effort is all you need!
forgive yourself. You care about this person and that's what matters.
Hey, i understand the feeling or at least i think i do, i feel the same way about my regrets, and in a way i punish myself as a way to make amends about it, I just pray you know that you deserve happiness too, i think its okay to with hold a specific integrity to yourself to keep yourself in check to never make the mistakes or wind up in that situation of helpless vulnerability, everyone has something in the past they hate or feel absolute shame from, just keep moving forward and further away from that darkness, and towards a state of self love and acceptance, walk towards that light and take care
I'll never get this answer from the person I need it from. But I have a feeling deep down this is how they feel. Thanks for sharing and be open and honest. That's the hardest and first part ❤
It's almost 11pm and I have work at 5 am yet I can't sleep im just lost in thought memories of the past. I feel like if I don't write how I feel I'll end up driving myself insane. I feel like I miss people more than they miss me. I've gone my separate ways from a lot of friends in highschool and I wonder if they ever think about me. I sit alone in my head night after night stuck in the past thinking about all the decisions I made the people I left behind and wonder if they even remember me. I have a lot of regrets in my life and I've been working on getting past it, but my biggest regret is not telling them how much they really meant to me. I'm fucking destroying myself day and night stuck in the past but how could I not? I feel as if I already lived my greatest years, had my best memories what's left? I've been distracting myself with work and while I have been doing better mentally some nights like these I sit here remembering all I regret. I wish I would of just thanked them for caring about someone like me. I wish they knew how much they meant to me.
Сейчас я нахожусь в дешовой гостинице в другой республике с пожилой бабушкой она болеет тут бегают тараканы и я жду суда матери я понимаю что не увижу её лет 10 к тому времени у меня будет семья дети умрёт моя бабушка я проживу очень долгое время я нахожусь в таком странном состоянии когда нет сил нет мыслей как таковых я хочу плакать но просто уже не могу я работаю достаточно много и у меня просто нет времени грустить + к этому нужно учиться этот плейлист пожалуй полностью описывает моё состояние и подходит под мою ситуацию спасибо за плейлист
It’s crazy who would have guessed it after all this time, 2 years went by so fast didn’t it and here we are again back listening to the same music in the same situation again. Regretting decisions made and a chance gone by. I think back on the memories constantly how much fun it was, how we would laugh till 3 am, the long talks, the tears, the laughter and the fights, and here we are again listening to the same playlist wondering where I went wrong. It’s not like I don’t know the answer to that question, it’s just easier to avoid it all together. How does one make an attachment so strong that after 2 years I can still close my eyes and hear your voice like it was yesterday. How do I move on after knowing that I created the reason it wouldn’t work out the moment we met? It’s my fault there is no doubt about it, no matter what happened it would have undoubtedly ended it was just a matter of when. No matter how much I move forward and improve I can’t help but look back at the past, and see the young and naive version of myself, and wonder why? What made you so inclined to throw your walls up and hide in your shell and wear a mask that belonged to someone else. I always hear “forgive yourself” and “don’t get stuck in the past” but how does one forgive themself it can’t be as simple as saying “it’s ok, we make mistakes and that’s ok. It’s up to you to not continue to make the same mistakes is all” it can’t be that easy……can it? I know if you were here now you would be so proud of how far I have come but you’re not, and that’s ok cause I know that your out there somewhere doing great things and living your life to the fullest and that’s all I want for you. But at the same time it burns knowing that we will never have another laugh or another late night conversation about our lives. So after two years and change I ask myself that one fateful question once again how do I forgive myself?
Forgiving yourself is hard to build. It’s a long and hard process for others and for others it is difficult but tame.
When I forgave myself for what I did. I felt a small trance of gratitude, sadness and nostalgia. Pieces of what happened still appear in my mind every so often but it doesn’t bother me the same way it did before.
I appreciate you describing what forgiveness felt like for you. I wasn’t sure I’d even know it if I found it, but that gives me an idea of what I might recognize it by. Thanks, man.
@@SparrowHawk784 hope you’re doing good bro in these current times.
Listen I don't know why I'm even writing this, I doubt anyone will actually read. But idk I always feel like I can push myself to do really good things but then again I have people around me who don't understand; they say they do but they don't. I'm called delusional for thinking that I could get a job or take care of myself and I'm genuinely trying to not be as angry or spiteful so that u can let go of who I used to be. I was called an ungrateful little bitch for not wanting to eat food, I get called 'victim' by my family when they're mad at me. Why is it that when I'm finally setting boundaries for myself, I suddenly become the bad guy??? Again idk why im writing this, i think its to get all this out of my head and out somewhere. Anywhere but keeping all of it inside my head
This was me with my parents when I was younger. Being a military kid who's dad was almost killed in a pointless war and got PTSD and a mom who was a single mother of 1 then more while her husband was at war didn't help. They had horrible parents, I still find it hard to talk to my grandparents even though my parents got better over the years during my adulthood. No matter who you blame, this is the struggle of mentally disturbed people passing their misery onto others. All I can say is get as much professional help as you need, and please keep strong. I really hope things get better for you.
stay strong, i believe you’ll manage to overcome it, at least just wait a bit of time and when you’ll be major, you could isolate yourself from them, from those harm.
stay strong and i wish you luck
To forgive always felt to me, to accept that someone did something bad to you. But that’s ok bc u don’t care and still love them. It feels like ur putting their need for redemption first because you understand that pain of not being forgiven since a lot of us always struggle with forgiving ourselves.
People always say that forgiving yourself isn’t thinking what you did was ok, but rather that you don’t let self hatred and anger linger and continue to strive to be better to get peace of mind. But what do you do when you feel that you don’t deserve that peace of mind.
I made some mistakes that made things harder for someone that I loved very much, and who loved me very much too. That was a little over two years ago, and I spent all but the past month or so hating myself for those mistakes. For me, I think acceptance was too painful for me to know what else to do with it but feel angry toward myself. When I did accept it, it still hurt; in fact it hurt in a more raw way than before. But it was a cleaner kind of pain, not all cluttered up with bitterness and anger. And it just felt like I was suddenly becoming aware of the enormous weight that I’d been carrying and pushing off, and as I went through it it became a little lighter with time. I’m still working on total forgiveness for myself, but I think it starts with what I found now, which I think is letting in these hard feelings that I pushed back for so long. Don’t get me wrong, it’s freaking hard to let it in, and I wouldn’t rush it either. Just the right things came at the right time for me and suddenly I found another perspective on things. Keep that search alive, even if it just barely there some days.
Also sorry if this was kind of all over the place, it’s like 2:30 in the morning lol
@@SparrowHawk784 nah man, I totally get that. 2 years ago is when the relationship with my first and so far only lover ended. God I loved her with every piece of my being and beyond. And she loved me to this level as well. But I hurt her so badly. And then everything came crashing burning down. I held her hand to help her move on, but the moment she did I was left behind for a while. She came back but I wasn’t having it and then left even tho there was nothing left to even leave behind me. And every time something bad happened between us after it would always be “I did this. I deserve this.” I really don’t know if I can ever allow myself true peace of mind. The idea of self forgiveness makes me sick, like I’m cheating her of understanding the pain I caused her. And it feels like cheating myself out of a very valuable lesson I learned. I don’t feel worthy enough of self forgiveness. All I can do is try and be better everyday. Because god I’m stubborn and I can’t shake away the idea that self forgiveness = justifying or trying to make excuses.
@@Motivated754 To me forgiving others was always about being the kind of person I wanted to be. I would rather be someone who doesn't hold a grudge and deciding this is easier than doing it but it is the first step. I totally agree that forgiving is about cleansing hatred.
If you feel you don't deserve peace of mind I recommend writing a little bit. Doesn't have to be a full commitment like journaling but my question is, "do you always feel that you don't deserve peace of mind?" It may be that you feel you don't deserve peace of mind while you carry the past. Maybe it is when you're tired or depressed. Deep down there is a latent wish in everyone for inner peace. There is a part of you that deserves it, I hope you have a moment of stillness soon where you feel worthy.
@@bantter1649 you don’t have a single idea on how badly I needed to hear those words. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I can agree with that idea of forgiveness. It’s the very reason why I try to be as forgiving as possible to others. I’m always trying to be kinder. I’ll take your advice man.
A frozen moment captured.
To remember it's existence.
A moment that existed for the next moment to follow it.
All things since harvested because of this moment.
And this moment is all that exists.
Я не знаю.
Кажется если получится, то это будет великим облегчением.
Но важно чтобы не только ты себя прстил.
Так же важно чтобы другие тоже тебя простили.
поэтому начни с себя - прости других, потом и себя..
I see you, you're doing great
Look like a joke
thanks friend
I’m not
@@Negan82682 😘
@@Negan82682 what's up?
Don't judge yesterdays mistakes with todays knowledge
Its just help me to sleep and forget everything. 👍🏻
i feel like i already disappointed my younger self. i promised that kid that i will be great. but im actually a loser now. its getting not that bad anymore but im still sorry for what had happened
I think a lot of our past selves would tell us to not be too hard on ourself and a lot of our older selves would tell us to trust the process.
Starting my day with this. It's cloudy and windy outside, just grey. It comforts me, as this playlist. I know that this pain won't go away in moment. I know it will come soon, but sure... I'll keep trying doing my best every time it hurts and one day i will realize that i have completely changed.
I've forgiven everyone, but I can't forgive myself. And I am very sorry that the past Self will become like this.
The past doesn't define you live the present 🎁 and make up your future
Think of it this way: if those who you forgave cannot forgive themselves, does your forgiveness mean anything to them? We all need to forgive ourselves in order to truly value the forgiveness of others.
I think forgiveness starts with making peace with the person in the mirror that you are trying to start war with...
Although you may not be the same person before you can still make this new version of you loveable.
I wish i broke down during my teenage years instead of keeping it all in and ignoring the pain. Its caught up. Its bigger than i can handle. Now when everyone is finding themselves, im losing my mind.
A lot of my relatives never let the pain out, and they turned into bitter, heartless people. You're not going to be one of them as long as you keep on processing it all. You're doing a good job.
Sometimes you just need time. Maybe your body thinks you're ready now. Every abandoned part of you that you process and understand is a little less weight on your shoulders. Remember, none of it is your fault. Take your time, you can't speedrun grief.
Incomparable. The best I've heard yet online ... Do preserve these melodies for posterity, PLEASE !!!