Trump Says VP Hopeful Kristi Noem Is Having a "Rough Couple of Days"
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- Опубликовано: 8 май 2024
- Seth addresses Stormy Daniels testifying in Donald Trump's hush money trial, Kristi Noem admitting to killing her puppy in her book and more in his monologue for Wednesday, May 8.
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Trump Says VP Hopeful Kristi Noem Is Having a "Rough Couple of Days" - Late Night with Seth Meyers
• Trump Says VP Hopeful ...
Late Night with Seth Meyers
/ latenightseth
"... having a ruff couple of days"...
She’ll keep pimping herself for Trumpledforeskin’s VP until the last dog is hung.
Bow WOW !
You'll be getting a ride to the "vet" from Christi soon.
We saw the joke when Seth did it.
Snoop Dogg is kept 1,000 yards away from Kristi Noem.
"Who said rough/ruff?" - well played sir!
Winner of best dead dog joke so far I think
I HATE 45 TOO!!!
I laughed.
To quote Buford T Justice, "Woof."
hole in the dog was priceless
Trump hates dogs. Noem was auditioning.
She reminds me of my great aunt. Happy Mothers day everyone, we love you, even if we don't agree with fascism and genocide. You cannot just make up your own rules and ignore the constitution and Institute pogroms of genocide for personal gain. If you lack ethics you will not be followed too. Corruption cannot inherit incorrupton
Trump is a jackal what are you talking about?
That or she thinks shooting animals you're supposed to be raising will somehow appeal to farmers or hunters.
She basically said that it was to show voters that she isn't like Joe Biden, with all that compassion and decency. No, she pitched herself as the perfect modern GOP candidate: cruel, thoughtless, and a member of the NRA. She just forgot that even MAGA loves puppies.
Speaking of dogs, any sign of Donkey Pongs latest bestie Laura Looney?
Particularly vicious and hilarious jokes today! Love ya Seth!
Words were done with Marjery Taylor Greene a long time ago - they got tired of the abuse.
The reason that Melania isn't attending Donald's trial is that she too has refused to sleep with him. (Callback to yesterday's monologue.)
You know, back in my day, governors weren’t shooting dogs and goats. Beggin strips, the only thing governors were doing to dogs is putting them on the top of their cars while they went on road trips. Goats were even grazing on the White House lawn. Back in my day, governors weren’t shooting horses either. Borax, back in my day they were dressing up like Gene Autry and riding them.
You are too funny to be writing Seth's stuff for free. Watch out for angry members from Seth's writing room after he tells them that he is replacing them with RUclips commenters.
That should be written up and sent in. But only if you get credit.
LBJ held his dog up by the ears. I wish I was making this up.
@@Drew-bc7zj true, photos exist in the LBJ presidential library of him doing this. There’s also photos of him showing genuine affection for dogs, hugging and playing with them.
The hole in the dog joke has to be Scollins. I feel like corrections could have a little game show where Jackals guess "was it Scollins?"
We need this because we're getting good at it haha
That's how we end up with another "oops, all Scollins" segment again.
I almost wish he’d actually do that, because people are always baselessly claiming they can tell when it’s Scollins - confirmation bias is a hell of a drug, I guess.
I’d encourage anyone who finds themselves inclined to think “SCOLLINS!!” after every mildly edgy joke to rewatch Surprise Inspection from the start, and really make an effort to just sit with it every time a joke with this sort of tone was actually written by someone else. It’s a lot more often than people seem to think. Ally, Bryan and Ian (probably others I’ve forgotten?) all have jokes about animals dying or being harmed, and they’re usually more vicious than this one too!
You could also make sure you take in all the jokes from Scollins that are completely tame, because that happens plenty of times too. Not quite as often as the other end of town, but I think that’s because it’s a stronger choice to tell some jokes that go too hard instead of the whole segment comprising the ones that barely manage to limp towards a punchline. Clearly Scollins can deliver that kind of material, and it’s fun for Seth to play up the idea that he’s a terrible person. But that doesn’t mean that he must somehow be the only person who writes jokes that are a useable level of dark, or that that’s all he does.
This is a top notch monologue.
Flawless!!!🤣🤣🤣
Farm life is different. It doesn't include killing healthy animals, though.
Actually, most of the animals killed on farms are completely healthy and are only months old when killed after living a horrible life of torture. I grew up helping my family butcher animals and that's partly why I'm now vegan.
The average American kills 100 innocent animals per year. 😢 I don't support Kristi Noem in any way. She is cruel. That said, most people support shooting innocent animals in the head--they just do it vicariously and pay slaughterhouse workers to use the captive bolt gun.
We humans don't need to eat other animals (in fact, vegans live on average 6♀️ to 10♂️years longer than animal eaters). And innocent animals do NOT deserve to be incarcerated, tortured, branded, castrated, and have their teeth and other body parts cut off (all without anesthesia), then killed at a fraction of their normal lifespans--many dismembered while still fully conscious--just for the pleasure of human taste buds.
Everyone can make the choice to get out of an abusive relationship today simply by going vegan.✌🏽❤️🐕🐖🐈🐄🐣🐟🐬🐐🐑🦃🐢
To quote Alice Walker: "The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than Black people were made for Whites or women for men."
Wonder how old rusty back in your day is feeling about the dog execution scandal..
Back in Rusty's day, claiming that it is the liberal media that is making her look bad would cause the vet to check Noem for rabies.
"Trump does have a type" is my new favourite Trump joke 😂
yeah, his type is porn stars who hate him
Yeah, he said stormy reminds him of his daughter!?!?
@@traviscutler9912tRump is a creep.
@traviscutler9912 that's his type. 🤮
@@traviscutler9912 Damn, I didn't know he said that. That adds layers to the joke 😂
It's ridiculous that he was ever allowed to be the president of any country.
Between Seth, Kimmel, Colbert, the Daily Show and others, who knew there could be so many “Kristi Noem, Cricket & gravel pit” jokes?
Man, the writing room will do anything to avoid a Surprise Inspection.
Wait... please tell me we're gonna skip the inspection of all the murdered dog jokes that DIDN'T make the cut.
surely you meant to write "NOT gonna skip"
I can only imagine the jokes Scollins wrote that weren’t airable.
PLEASE WRITE THAT SKIT !!! It would be awesome to hear the jokes that “didn’t make the cut” hahahaha
Yes, the Independent ticket for 2024 is RFK Jr./Dead Brain Worm. Their motto is "Now is the time for Ivermectin."
😆😆😆
😆😆😆
I live in a particularly hot and humid part of Mexico, eat pork, and have a dog. I take Ivermectin periodically for what it's actually for.
Nothing says "I hate big pharma" like promoting a medication owned by Merck one of the biggest pharma companies in the world
🎯
Downward dog pose during yoga class would be worse than the limbo on the nude cruise.
The view from the shore at their port of call
We live in a golden age of TV monologues. Damn, that was funny.
“Who said ruff?” 😂
i think the story has finally come for scollins to shine.
Cover yourself in all the words you want, Marge... we know you can't read a one of 'em.
Lindsey and MeeMaw content please
Seconded 1000% really want to see that sitcom
Surprise twist: Lindsey IS Meemaw!
@@riparianlife97701 that’s the Hitchcock version
I just saw a clip on CNn of Lindsey having a hissy fit while grilling Lloyd Austin. That calls for a Lindsey/MeeMaw moment in my book.
I laughed my hole out at the "like she needs a hole in her dog..." comment. Whoever wrote that one deserves a bonus - funniest thing I've heard all week...
...I have tears in my eyes andmy head hurts from laughing so hard. Perfect delivery from Seth. 🤣
10 bucks says it was Scollins
Seth wincing is usually "Scollins sign," so I am going to guess that he wrote the "Who said ruff?" joke. Seth is lucky they had a blood thirsty crowd. (Okay, it was funny, but I work in animal rescue, and Scollins is on our "not adoptable" list.
I feel like it could’ve been Allie, actually. But Scollins is definitely possible.
I work in animal rescue too and have to say that the animal killing jokes are getting old fast. (Wish Seth was vegan like his brother.) The average American kills 100 innocent animals per year. 😢 I don't support Kristi Noem in any way. She is cruel. That said, most people support shooting innocent animals in the head--they just do it vicariously and pay slaughterhouse workers to use the captive bolt gun.
We humans don't need to eat other animals (in fact, vegans live on average 6♀️ to 10♂️years longer than animal eaters). And innocent animals do NOT deserve to be incarcerated, tortured, branded, castrated, and have their teeth and other body parts cut off (all without anesthesia), then killed at a fraction of their normal lifespans--many dismembered while still fully conscious--just for the pleasure of human taste buds.
Everyone can make the choice to get out of an abusive relationship today simply by going vegan.✌🏽❤️🐕🐖🐈🐄🐣🐟🐬🐐🐑🦃🐢
To quote Alice Walker: "The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than Black people were made for Whites or women for men."
Hilarious Seth, there is so much insanity in play, importantly there is more at stake. It's nice to have laugh. 💙
Here in the UK if you shoot your dog the follwing will happen: "Offences will be punished with up to six months' imprisonment and/or fines of up to £20,000. You could also be disqualified from keeping animals. Shooting a dog also puts you at risk of committing a firearms offence." - if anything this is too leanient...
Agreed. Actually most places have laws about it, and she should have just surrendered her dog to a shelter, etc. The fact she took it to a gravel pit to do the deed tells you a lot. But she lives in a state sparsely populated and dominated by the agricultural industry (and oil/gas), so they might not be quite so progressive. I live in a sparsely populated western state also, and I know there are rules around everything - can't kill seagulls, can't shoot crows, can't even kill a coyote unless you get a permit first. I guess I know now why my grandparents left her state of S Dakota and moved further west. This is also why I believe there should be ONE set of laws - the federal law system - and not 50 different ones in the same country. I used to vote Republican but vote Dem now for that very reason - I'm against state rights and want one law of the land, and I want it to be as progressive as nations like your own rather than backwards 1800s.
Seth promised last week that there would only be a week of dog jokes and then he'd stop.. and yet here we are !
Yeah!!
I think he meant, "One week of dead dog jokes for each dog Kristi killed. Bonus week for threats to Presidential dogs."
He decided to roll over.
Maybe she was planning to serve Cricket for dinner when she met Kim Jung Un.
Not gonna happen as long as Scollins is in the Writers' room!
"i hope those arent 'hooray, it's over' laughs" - and here i am, hoping there are more - cant wait for the next Surprise Inspection, when we get to hear all (ALL, SETH, ALL OF THEM!) the ones that didnt make the cut.
Lying✔
Have someone else write "your" book. ✔
Get plastic surgery ✔
When caught in a lie NEVER admit lying ✔
Go on a nation wide tour and embarrass yourself while playing the victim✔
Talk about people you've never met, but be vauge enough so no one can question you ✖
-Your fired!
Honestly I lost it at the Libertarian running mate 😂
Ouch 😳
Someone is in a good mood. :D
How many worms in her head??😂😂😂
Good stuff 😂
Another brilliant Closer Look! Just brilliant! 🤣
Seth is Soo adorable when he laughs/smirks at jokes 😂
My condolences to those two women
SCOLLINS!!!
"a rough couple of days" is an understatement
#CORRECTION: President Biden is not the "safety school". He's goddamn Harvard.
No biden is the community College of presidents
Especially when the only other option is Trump University.
Think of the poor folks that have to staff that nude cruise? There won't be a single safe chair on that entire ship.
Yeah, I was thinking of the cleaning crew too
"Do the worm!!" It already has a better tag than any of the major candidates lmao
The dog jokes are almost as consistent as the Boeing jokes😂
All Dogs go to Heaven. 🐶- Kristi Noem *Results may vary.
All dogs go to heaven . . . and Kristi Noem's the one who sends 'em there.
Keep gnome in the running forVP; if they stick her next to Old Yeller, she could solve this with one gravel pit visit.
I am voting for the Brain Slug Party myself.
I represent the Hypnotoad Confederacy of Mind Controlled Subjects. We'll be in touch.
I feel like Barb and Star would book this cruise
Who said "Ruff" LOL I died
When the dog news first hit it felt a bit too sad to joke about, but darn have these gotten good
I'm laughing because she probably "killed" her chance to be Trump's running mate.😂
@00:47 made me do a spit take.
Crispy Gnome's TOAST😅
You know how he has suprise inspection, he should have youtube commenters write which joke we liked the most too. Then the the writers get to know how well their doing with the youtube crowd also.
Just a thought.
It seems like they are getting better. Not so many forced laughter from the crowd. I loved this set.
That limbo joke set the bar pretty high.
ALL HAIL HYPNO-TOAD.
Definitely the Limbo!!!!! LOL!!!
Good morning seth meyers fans
Where’s corrections?
For a second, I thought the limbo guy was the “leave ‘em alone” guy.
Good jokes.
WOW - "who said 'rough'" was inspired!
Genuis pure Genuis RUFF!
The last late night show to do a joke about the naked cruise and the best joke of the week about the naked cruise.
The dog wasn't the goat😂
the limbo, not the early morning yoga class?
The buffet line for sure
Wow that "hole in her dog" had me 🤣🤣🤣
. . . like a hole in her PUPPY! 😂
R.I.P. Cricket 🐾
The limbo? My first concern was the chairs. Anyway it sounds like a good cruise for the laundry people
SCOLLINS!
Thank you, Paul Ryan, for saying that you will not vote for Trump.
Bill Barr lost all credibility when he said that Trump shouldn't be anywhere near the White House, and then announced that he will be voting for Trump.
You can't have it both ways, Republicans. Either you can see the danger that Trump represents and refuse to vote for him, or you are willing to put your allegiance to your party over allegiance to the country.
Dat Scollins tho...
Trump should worry about Trump. I mean, I don't, but someone probably should.
Noem gives serious "waco cult" vibes.
More like 'the limpo'
I’m surprised Seth is not taking advantage of the double swarm in IL to promote his play Cicada Cicada. Take it on tour??
It is sad that Colbert did a piece on the cicadas last night, and Seth has yet to mention them. I guess there is a gag order in place after disputes about who is responsible for the delays in bringing the musical to Broadway went public.
Just ask Cricket! Oh wait……..
Maybe she was planning to serve Cricket for dinner when she met Kim Jung Un.
I wonder if people would be okay with it as long as she did eat Cricket. After all, the average American kills 100 innocent animals per year. 😢 I don't support Kristi Noem in any way. She is cruel. That said, most people support shooting innocent animals in the head--they just do it vicariously and pay slaughterhouse workers to use the captive bolt gun.
We humans don't need to eat other animals (in fact, vegans live on average 6♀️ to 10♂️years longer than animal eaters). And innocent animals do NOT deserve to be incarcerated, tortured, branded, castrated, and have their teeth and other body parts cut off (all without anesthesia), then killed at a fraction of their normal lifespans--many dismembered while still fully conscious--just for the pleasure of human taste buds.
Everyone can make the choice to get out of an abusive relationship today simply by going vegan.✌🏽❤️🐕🐖🐈🐄🐣🐟🐬🐐🐑🦃🐢
To quote Alice Walker: "The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than Black people were made for Whites or women for men."
Read about persiphony
"As Libertarians say, A running mate!!!"
Hahahahaha!
It disturbs me that I’m pretty sure I recognize what the source for the limbo Photoshop happens to be (Peter Boyle from “The Dream Team”).
Remember to join Seth and Gavin Newsom for a special live podcast of Family Trips sponsored by Norwegian Cruise Lines.
I miss Seth's Lindsey Graham impression.
Hahahaha!
Correction: No Popozao reference in ages.
The worst part of a nude cruise would probably still be the shrimp buffet.
it's going to be an Antarctic cruise - so there won't be much to see.
1:04 Seth’s looking right at Baze, right?
Oh I assumed RFK had worms in his brain, I'm just shocked he confirmed it!
Who else desperately wants video of that MTG-Johnson meeting?
I would actually accept that as punishment for Johnson's involvement in Jan 6.
Scollins trying hard to fill that gap after the dog joke Oof.
Two jokes. Two dogs. Two Holes. One Scollins.
I'd go on a nude cruise if they supplied a vat filled with SPF 50 sunscreen we could jump in. There are some parts that haven't seen the sun in decades.
Cricket had an even rougher very short life.
A worm explains his broken brain, sure... but it doesn't explain his supporters' broken brains.
I don’t think the brain worm is as rare as doctors may think.
I didn't get the "a hole in her dog" joke... anyone, please?
Hi Seth!
Norm is the perfect running mate for Donald!
WALLY
I don't think the worm is dead.