What if Keir Starmer was your doctor?
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- Опубликовано: 10 май 2023
- What would it be like if the leader of the Labour party was your doctor?
Satirical political comedy sketch from the comedian Matt Green.
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#comedy #funny #funnyvideos #funnyvid #ukpolitics #politics #laughs #satire #ukpolitics #keirstarmer #labourparty 
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You know it's top quality political satire when you can't figure out if you want to laugh or scream into the void.
Fantastic, I hate this, keep up the great work 👍
exactly
Why not both?
"scream in to the void" is that what we call voting these days?
Great thread😂😂😂
@@liestricks In the UK yes. In democratic countries with proportional representation and an elected head of state and an elected second chamber no.
Frighteningly accurate😂
I at least have a shiney new blue gym membership card. The gym has a staffing issue, only the one place to go ( my old gym had 27 places to choose from). The gyms cafe has nothing to eat except a turnip for some reason and the price of my membership keeps going up, no longer has any heating or lighting, and if I protest any of the changes I could face being arrested. Still, I am told that eventually they are going to level up, whatever that means, so it cant be all bad.
Spot on. On multiple levels...!
I am American. I watch this fellow all of the time. He, in my opinion, has hit perfection with this one! The judges have all raised 10s. The arrow is mathematically, perfectly aligned in Bulls Eye. He has lapped the competition and has passed the checkered flag with record setting results. This should be broadcast throughout the kingdom. It should be required viewing in every school, shop, factory, airport, train station, underground and movie theatre. This is your answer! This is how you find your way back to sanity, prosperity, dignity and relevance. This guy for Prime Minister.
The value of satire is immense, makes you think and see things from a different angle. This comedian is a national treasure, but please send him to America, or at least share him with us on occasion. We're upside down in the Rightwing conservative garbage can too, you know, and people keep yelling at the liner bag.
It's absolutely true and it's very funny but at the same time, it's depressing and disheartening.
What, life?
@@IamRobotMonkey Yes, LIFE is a crap way to exist It always goes wrong, is never happy, and never turns out to have any sunshine in it at all. In fact, life is just a waiting room between birth and death.
Brilliant satire Matt, absolutely spot on with the tongue in cheek analogies.
Rapier sharp as ever - and very thought provoking. Bravo.
Brilliant! 'I'm your only option so I'll have to do' which sums up British 'democracy' really.
"I hate that this is so accurate" every single Matt Green video ever.
Park. Knocked. Out. Of. Absolutely brilliant Sir!
A perfect analogy for the current political situation.
Sadly also true for people diagnosed with ME/CFS, except the previous doctor stabbed you in the back by sending you to see specialists and consultants accompanied by letters implying that you are imagining the actual symptoms.
Lucky you getting sent to “specialists”. I just got told to go away and stop coming back.
Ah but the doctor who stabbed me in the leg says he will do something that is not important to me but tell me he needs to do it as it should be important to me. Something about small boats in the Pacific Ocean and getting rid of the old gang's rules but taking on the new gang's rules without asking me or you. That will help me forget the knife in my leg.
Matt, supremely funny, accurate and pithy. I thought Keir was a barrister but it seems if you can see one he's just like a GP. He's missed his calling.
So being stabbed in a leg has given you a limp, so rather than remove the knife I prescribe a knife in the other leg too (to 'level up' the wounds). Remember things have to get worse, before they can get even worse.
🤦 I don’t think you got the nuance
Tory lol
Absolutley brilliant work Matt🤣
"Look, can I make it absolutely clear that I would not recommend ...", What's next? "... stabbing you in the leg." How can you say this without laughing at the absurdity? Another excellent video and such a good take on Sir Keir too. Thanks Matt.
Sidebar: if you do happen to have a knife in your leg, DON’T YANK IT OUT!
Funny thing, that knife, once it’s in, is blocking your blood from leaving you. Or at least leaving you as quickly.
yeah, but at some point in time you have to remove it. You just have prepare for immediate stitching and enough blood reserves around.
Or you wait until your leg is completely rotten and only a dose of poison can relief you from your deadly pain.
Spot on, maybe only missing a reference to how he supported the doctor "selling crystals" until not long ago, since we all know how Starmer sees things 😩
I was wondering what your analogy for the Tories would be in this one, but that line about the previous doctor who actually stabbed the patient was great. 😂
Starmer may not be the PM we want, but at least he isn't actively trying to kill us.
He is trying to keep all the capitalist gains while lying to the workers and stealing our party
Are you sure?? What guarantee has he given? Can you believe him con🤔🤔😉sidering his track record for abandoning positions.
When his "reassurances" (aka policies) turned out to be lies?
Yet
@@lat1419
They weren't lies.
Try to be honest yourself when you're attacking the honesty of others.
Absolutely spot on. Unbelievably pertinent. Might be your best yet.
It'd be more accurate to say "I'd love to advise you to eat a carrot and rejoin the gym, but the last time I said that you stormed off in a huff and ordered the biggest bag of chips you could find and got ruinously drunk with that posh mate of yours, and I have a horrible feeling you'll do it again. So instead, I'm going to say nothing, let you eventually realise you'll be much happier if you started being healthy and stopped hanging around with bad influences, at which point I'll support you on your road to recovery."
That's the one. Nobody likes being told they've been had over.
Not a vote winner.
Great stuff, Matt! I bet you had great fun writing and presenting this one! Of course, as a politician, Starmer would set up an enquiry to see if the knife remaining in the leg would likely lead to death. And, should the patient die during the enquiry, that information would be withheld from the board in case it should prejudice their ultimate conclusion.
Dear god! that is five star satire!
Depressingly accurate. People want change and he's promising continuity.
He is pretty much.
Much of the media is controlled by the super rich. They tell voters what to do and enough of them comply to keep the rich's men in govt. Blair got elected by stealing the Tories clothes. The press gave him their blessing. Had he been a Corbyn the press would have lied as outrageously about him too and people would not have voted for him.
The press are the gatekeepers and the super rich the owners of the press.
Go figure.
Too close to reality for comfort but still hilarious, well done that man!
genius, this nails it. And funny too.
I can't believe its not better.
Oh god... so funny and painfully accurate at the same time. lol & ouch😄
Very funny!
Sooo good… every time!!!!!!
Vote Matt for Labour leader!
Hahaha - no thanks 😊
You must have a masters degree in hammers, nails and heads.
I love the last bit, “if you don’t like what I’m doing, go and see the doctor down the road who actually did stab you in the leg”that’s exactly what it sounds like when Kier Starmer lovers say “if you don’t like us, go and vote Tory”.
This is perfect. Not only does it attack the "own side" on things they are supposed to be attacked, you also make it very clear that despite all this - it wasn't him who did the stabbing.
Perfect analogy, love your work Matt
Perfectly sums up the miserable political situation in the UK...
You really know how to "absolute waffle" like him.
Nailed it again
Spot on, he needs to stand up for something and stick to it.
I just want to point out that you shouldn’t remove knives from the wound unless you have a trauma team nearby, and you should never just yank it out.
When treating a stab would you attach a touniquet to slow the bleeding while you call an ambulance.
Yet more quality laughs. Enjoying the stand up shorts on you tube too, will have to tide me over till some Scottish tour dates appear
The Edinburgh Fringe work in progress shows have gone on sale today.
tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/matt-green-that-guy-work-in-progress
Tour show dates in Edinburgh and Glasgow in Feb 2024 will be on sale very soon!
"I want to express my vision for your leg"
100% correct.
A stern, but kind, head teacher's voice to send you off to sleep.
"...that would be relitigating the past"
Oh my, that really opens up vast new territories of euphemistic skulduggery. You're like the Henry Morton Stanley of semantics.
Excellent work once again!
That is so absurd and funny😅. It has to be true! Brilliant 🎉
“I am the most boring man in the world and I never ever say what I actually think but… …I am your only option”.
I wonder if James O'Brien will retweet this, Matt? He must surely find this very conflicting. Superb video, as usual!
Haha! Well, he doesn’t RT many of my vids these days but I think that’s mostly to do with the Twitter algorithms at the moment… But I think he can take a joke!
Phil of Different Bias was doing a Starmer simp over this also..... Not convinced.
@@allmodcons2274 oh dear
Sold! Starmer's no nanny-stating his constituents, thank you very much!
Sadly this is the image of Starmer I have in my head..... It is all so sad and true
"Now, you have recorded this consultation, haven't you ?
Good, that'll save me prescribing you any sleeping tablets."
Brilliant 😂
It's a thin line between being funny and just making everyone sad. 😢
funny, no matter your politics...
Very funny.
I don't think anyone doubts that Keir is a decent guy who does have good instincts, but the demands of appealing to the divided electorate mean he can't reverse what seems like mistaken policies
brilliant🤣
Christ, it was only at the end that I realised this wasn’t Starmer........
Same here. I thought he was talking about not reversing the new anti protest law
Spot on.
Wonderful. It highlights the point that opposition parties don't win elections, governments lose them, and for the Labour Party, it 'simply' needs to appear less destructive than the Party in power. The fact it's failed to do that for the last four elections, is......another matter.
Excellent!
Ouch, that nail got hit square on the head there! 😄
Well said Matt
Just brilliant. 👍
Sounds quite genuine! Did he write the script? Sounds exactly like his style. Angela could be his receptionist.
He'd also get you to diagnose yourself as possibly having neuropathy rather than a knife, then advise you to refer yourself to a neurologist. Or an orthopaedic surgeon, whatever you feel's ok. Let's let privatisation " bed in", and claim then we're too busy to do anything about it.
Haha nailed Starmer!
If Immanuel Kant had been a comedian, I imagine this is the sort of material he would have come up with. A rational analysis of the metaphor contained here would be a rather good test for someone's ability to vote in the future.
Thanks! I think?
Pretty much.
Allegorical satire at its best. And not wrong either. :-))
Satire?? You mean that Matt is not doing documentaries? 😮🤭
This is absolutely brilliant
I particularly enjoyed the furtive glance to camera.
😂😂😂😂 brilliant observation
Omg omg I hope that Starmer watches this and tries to learn….
....you've captured my utter disappointment in Starmer in one easy to swallow sketch.
Well that was depressingly fucking accurate.
Wow thats kinda like my appointments about my permanently partially dislocated shoulder. The best one being 'just get used to it' yep get used to my arm hanging off, its been hanging off for 5 years now & I still haven't really got used to it
Tick tock, left right to the same end goal
TO BE FAIR to Dr. Kier Stabber, if you are stabbed in the leg, you don't want to remove the knife immediately. The blade itself helps limit blood loss. You want to keep it in until you can be serviced by medical professionals who can remove it and bandage the wound as quickly as possible.
Let me be absolutely clear that whatever position actually turns out to be actually the thing that happens will largely be the decision that I will clearly and unequivocally bring up in speeches until the Daily Mail talks about something else and then I will without any hesitation start using other words.
Perfect analogy 😂😂😂
Perfect ending.
Close to being training videos for politicians.
Dr Dr there's a genius at work!
Oh dear. We are fu##ed 😂
Ha hahahahaha, brilliant! Starmer and the Labour party to a tee...
Brilliant as usual 😂
Matt has begun working on Starmer prior to the GE.
Got to have a back up plan… 😀
Brilliant
Brilliant again 😂
So true, and my god do his supporters lose their shit if you point this out to them!
It's so on the point 😂 🇩🇪❤🇬🇧
Sad, but true. Oh for an opposition.
To the bone and rightly so.
Nailed it
With supporting act from Michael “I wouldn’t say that “ Gove.
I hear that nice nurse with the allotment is still desperately clinging to a job in your surgery too
Very good but sadly very true ! Keep up the good work 😂
If Starmer was my GP I would rather see a vet.
Considering that Starmer is a lawyer, I think that the vet is a better option.
@@maggiepie8810 exactly!
If he was my lawyer I still rather vet for legal advice. 😂
Excellent Matt - as incomprehensible as Starmer is ! - I despair for democracy in this sinking country !