I'm 67. All my life I have struggled. 7 years ago I came across a TED talk by a woman in her 50's talking about her life which mirrored my own. I started looking into it and took the AQ test which showed that I too am Autistic. I am now on the waiting list for a formal diagnosis. Like you have described, I slipped through the net as a Low needs Autisitc. I was good at school, could pass exams without revising or doing homework. I got a degree. But I struggled to get work. I struggled with interviews. I ended up doing mostly Temp or contract work. Never understood why it was such a struggle to get or keep a job. I survived. I tried masking but couldn't keep it up, it would slip and then I would find myself being fired from the job I had. So, the cycle would start again. I learned to solve problems without any support or help because there wasn't any available and I had no idea what to ask for anyway. As a low needs Autistic, it is hard not fitting in. Being neither full blown stereotypical high needs Autistic, or fully neurotypical, there isn't a place for the low needs autistic in this world. I have stopped trying to fit in anymore because no one accepts you for who you are anyway. I'm glad, that as a pensioner, I don't need to do the job hunting anymore. My life is settling down and less exhausting now because I don't have to be something I'm not anymore. I can just do things that I like doing now.
People don't see the struggle so they assumed there isn't one. It's hard to convince someone else of something that's going on inside one's own head. So more is expected from us.
The outside appearance doesn't reflect the inner struggles - this simple truth not even diagnosticians have understood so far 😢 So-called low-support/high-functioning autistics even have a _higher_ prevalence of depression and there's a reason for that.
The biggest problem that those with ‘lower support needs’ face imo is that we are expected to be able to get along without any support at all, which is not the case. It is for this reason that we get together and help each other as this is the only support available - we have to create our own support because there isn’t any out there and self advocacy is the only option. The only means we have to do this is by speaking about it and sharing our experiences.
I like what yo samdy Sam said in one of her videos about levels of autism and needing support. She said that regardless of your level what is the same is that you need support.
That. For sure. We could be better though. Im glad were abke to talk together but i worry about the lack of reasoning in some situations recently in groups which claim to be the support for items of autistics. Its such a good reason to be supportive having a fun time together as time goes back towards times when people arent lgbt supporting mains but instead having ideas and fun times while on the internet. Such "supportive" people in groups made specifically for autistic people have been bullied and villified for not being totally supportive of lgbt..support stuff being mingled with autistic support. It must be bullied because otherwise lgbtq... Wont be able to take over. 😕In a minute thats gotten to be a support group not invented by lgbtq people but they're told they are allowed in and then bullies took over.
Unfortunately, a lot of these people and parents who are complaining are not realising that the ‘lower support needs’ advocates are the natural allies for their kids.
I know many things were discussed, but I can't think about anything but the gatekeeping. It's not a zero sum game. It doesn't take away from a level 3 autistic person when there is a newly diagnosed level 1. It really gets to me when caretakers try to throw their weight around and psychologically harm people by acting like their needs aren't important. I will forever think about and be disgusted by certain portions of that Jubilee talk. 😡
Awesome to see @NeurodiverJENNt getting more awareness and her channel. Jennifer had no idea when she started to make her first video when I was in the middle of my identity crisis in April/May 2023 at the age of 31 hitting autistic burnout and then seeing pieces of what I know now is autism in my firstborn son and I completely changed the way I’ve approached raising him ever since. But I can say positive things that your channel did for me as well, Thomas. But I really related with the things Jennifer said and her own testimony of how she even came to find out she was autistic in the exact same way as me, on top of being a fellow AuDHDer. Great podcast!
I really loved that he mentioned not masking. My story is very different when it comes to masking. Maybe it's due to my PDA but other incidental factors contributed. Basically, I really never masked until my 20s and only at work after pissing people off. Partly because I was really depressed in middle school through high school. My mother was a pastor. I truly didn't give a shit about Jesus. I've been used to being the rebel. Im not socially motivated. If I was I think I would have masked better. I enjoyed people watching and was selective about who I interacted with. Now knowing more about autism. I realized I spent 90% of my time at home. I always listened to music on the bus. I was never allowed to be social because of my religious parents. Yet, I never told anyone about my suffering. I recognize now I was experiencing shutdowns and was selectively mute. Then it did lead to self harm. I was never ashamed of being different my attitude was more like I think there is something wrong with everyone else 😅. Luckily, I found someone who invested time in me. Who helped me speak. She showed me that I had the option to talk about my suffering. Even after that, I rarely masked. When I got to work is when it really happened.
Yes, masking= surviving. I had a rollercoaster week. I left (after being attacked by someone) the one group I used to go once a week. Though I think that it is better for me. I found a new friend and having good time with her. A good connection. One very scary experience I had this week. I was walking in a park and without no reason an aggressive dog flew on me and bit me in my arm! I am glad that I had a winter jacket because I got only bruces and no open bite wounds. So scary. I never was scared for dogs but now I am not sure about that anymore. Still going strong, I am hard to kill I guess! Thank you again for a great video! You are the best!
59:52 It’s really important to remember that children often seek attention and validation, and that can lead them to identify with different groups. Many kids feel that being Autistic or having ADHD is something special, and they want to be seen and understood. It’s okay to not know everything about these experiences, but we should be cautious about representing anyone other than ourselves. Let’s keep the conversation respectful and open, and truly listen to each persons own experience!
Might b a new fav interview/video of urz since i missed ur live yesterday/2 (??) So was a real delight hearing a well stated encouraging/uplifting message from an insightful young mom too so she's got serious skin in this game = her kids need an advocate/guardian/life coach not more acceptance/encouragement of victimhood mentality that just mires everyone down too close for comfort eh!?!!2:55Pm5/5/2024
Autistic women often look massively younger than their age, myself included. I thought Jenn was a young millennial but she says she got a diagnosis at age 39. This makes a lot of sense - she really did receive a late diagnosis.
8 different types of narcissists but only 1 autism struck a chord with me. Favored types of thinking seems like a relevant category. I am a systems thinker, but there are also visual thinkers. I wonder if there are other categories.
I don't get it, doesn't every kid line up there toys? I think that's normal for a kid. When I knew I was autistic I mentioned the lining up of toys to my mom and later on she told me she saw a picture of me when I was little and I have my toys lined up lol.
I'm 67. All my life I have struggled. 7 years ago I came across a TED talk by a woman in her 50's talking about her life which mirrored my own. I started looking into it and took the AQ test which showed that I too am Autistic. I am now on the waiting list for a formal diagnosis. Like you have described, I slipped through the net as a Low needs Autisitc. I was good at school, could pass exams without revising or doing homework. I got a degree. But I struggled to get work. I struggled with interviews. I ended up doing mostly Temp or contract work. Never understood why it was such a struggle to get or keep a job. I survived. I tried masking but couldn't keep it up, it would slip and then I would find myself being fired from the job I had. So, the cycle would start again. I learned to solve problems without any support or help because there wasn't any available and I had no idea what to ask for anyway. As a low needs Autistic, it is hard not fitting in. Being neither full blown stereotypical high needs Autistic, or fully neurotypical, there isn't a place for the low needs autistic in this world. I have stopped trying to fit in anymore because no one accepts you for who you are anyway. I'm glad, that as a pensioner, I don't need to do the job hunting anymore. My life is settling down and less exhausting now because I don't have to be something I'm not anymore. I can just do things that I like doing now.
I'm younger than you but basically this sounds very familiar.
How do you make a living now?
People don't see the struggle so they assumed there isn't one. It's hard to convince someone else of something that's going on inside one's own head. So more is expected from us.
The outside appearance doesn't reflect the inner struggles - this simple truth not even diagnosticians have understood so far 😢
So-called low-support/high-functioning autistics even have a _higher_ prevalence of depression and there's a reason for that.
@@Brainalicious and on some level that's a problem but usually thats betrer than the alternative.
The biggest problem that those with ‘lower support needs’ face imo is that we are expected to be able to get along without any support at all, which is not the case. It is for this reason that we get together and help each other as this is the only support available - we have to create our own support because there isn’t any out there and self advocacy is the only option. The only means we have to do this is by speaking about it and sharing our experiences.
So true
I like what yo samdy Sam said in one of her videos about levels of autism and needing support. She said that regardless of your level what is the same is that you need support.
That. For sure. We could be better though. Im glad were abke to talk together but i worry about the lack of reasoning in some situations recently in groups which claim to be the support for items of autistics. Its such a good reason to be supportive having a fun time together as time goes back towards times when people arent lgbt supporting mains but instead having ideas and fun times while on the internet. Such "supportive" people in groups made specifically for autistic people have been bullied and villified for not being totally supportive of lgbt..support stuff being mingled with autistic support. It must be bullied because otherwise lgbtq... Wont be able to take over. 😕In a minute thats gotten to be a support group not invented by lgbtq people but they're told they are allowed in and then bullies took over.
Unfortunately, a lot of these people and parents who are complaining are not realising that the ‘lower support needs’ advocates are the natural allies for their kids.
THIS!!!!!
I know many things were discussed, but I can't think about anything but the gatekeeping. It's not a zero sum game. It doesn't take away from a level 3 autistic person when there is a newly diagnosed level 1. It really gets to me when caretakers try to throw their weight around and psychologically harm people by acting like their needs aren't important. I will forever think about and be disgusted by certain portions of that Jubilee talk. 😡
Awesome to see @NeurodiverJENNt getting more awareness and her channel. Jennifer had no idea when she started to make her first video when I was in the middle of my identity crisis in April/May 2023 at the age of 31 hitting autistic burnout and then seeing pieces of what I know now is autism in my firstborn son and I completely changed the way I’ve approached raising him ever since.
But I can say positive things that your channel did for me as well, Thomas. But I really related with the things Jennifer said and her own testimony of how she even came to find out she was autistic in the exact same way as me, on top of being a fellow AuDHDer.
Great podcast!
I really loved that he mentioned not masking. My story is very different when it comes to masking. Maybe it's due to my PDA but other incidental factors contributed. Basically, I really never masked until my 20s and only at work after pissing people off. Partly because I was really depressed in middle school through high school. My mother was a pastor. I truly didn't give a shit about Jesus. I've been used to being the rebel. Im not socially motivated. If I was I think I would have masked better. I enjoyed people watching and was selective about who I interacted with. Now knowing more about autism. I realized I spent 90% of my time at home. I always listened to music on the bus. I was never allowed to be social because of my religious parents. Yet, I never told anyone about my suffering. I recognize now I was experiencing shutdowns and was selectively mute. Then it did lead to self harm. I was never ashamed of being different my attitude was more like I think there is something wrong with everyone else 😅. Luckily, I found someone who invested time in me. Who helped me speak. She showed me that I had the option to talk about my suffering. Even after that, I rarely masked. When I got to work is when it really happened.
Yes, masking= surviving.
I had a rollercoaster week. I left (after being attacked by someone) the one group I used to go once a week. Though I think that it is better for me. I found a new friend and having good time with her. A good connection.
One very scary experience I had this week. I was walking in a park and without no reason an aggressive dog flew on me and bit me in my arm! I am glad that I had a winter jacket because I got only bruces and no open bite wounds. So scary. I never was scared for dogs but now I am not sure about that anymore.
Still going strong, I am hard to kill I guess!
Thank you again for a great video! You are the best!
Rita, that sounds scary! I'm glad you are okay. 🩵
Jenn your mic is peaking
yeah unfortunately that's a problem
59:52 It’s really important to remember that children often seek attention and validation, and that can lead them to identify with different groups. Many kids feel that being Autistic or having ADHD is something special, and they want to be seen and understood. It’s okay to not know everything about these experiences, but we should be cautious about representing anyone other than ourselves. Let’s keep the conversation respectful and open, and truly listen to each persons own experience!
Thomas you were not rambling, it was a well thought out opinion that made a lot of sense.
Might b a new fav interview/video of urz since i missed ur live yesterday/2 (??) So was a real delight hearing a well stated encouraging/uplifting message from an insightful young mom too so she's got serious skin in this game = her kids need an advocate/guardian/life coach not more acceptance/encouragement of victimhood mentality that just mires everyone down too close for comfort eh!?!!2:55Pm5/5/2024
Good afternoon, my two favorites!
Excellent video between two amazing creators!
That's true. 59:52
I am the same way.
Autistic women often look massively younger than their age, myself included. I thought Jenn was a young millennial but she says she got a diagnosis at age 39. This makes a lot of sense - she really did receive a late diagnosis.
I have been mistaken for being three or four years younger. In one case, I guess I came across as looking 10 years younger.
This was a great interview
Very good video, as usual.
💚
Great video guys, very informative and relateable.
Guten morgen!
Liebe Gruesse!
8 different types of narcissists but only 1 autism struck a chord with me.
Favored types of thinking seems like a relevant category. I am a systems thinker, but there are also visual thinkers. I wonder if there are other categories.
There are verbal thinkers as well. I am strongly verbal and visual but can relate to an extent to the systems thinker.
She looks kind of young for some who grew up in the 1980s and 1990s.
How is her son now?
Do you know any youtube channels by none aspergers but the other form of ASD1?
I don't get it, doesn't every kid line up there toys? I think that's normal for a kid. When I knew I was autistic I mentioned the lining up of toys to my mom and later on she told me she saw a picture of me when I was little and I have my toys lined up lol.
59:36 Sullivan who is by and large being supportive of autistic people just being supportive of mind you not also adding their own agendas to it.?
I'll take the app, I don't want a brain chip.