How to Fix the Roads | Don McMillan Comedy

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  • Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
  • Take a right up here and catch that Pokemon.
    #donmcmillan #standupcomedy #comedy
    🌐Social Media🌐
    📶Facebook: / donmcmillan
    📶Twitter: / donmcmillan
    🤓Don’s Bio🤓
    America's #1 Nerdy Comedian
    What do you get when you cross an Engineer with a stand-up comedian? You get Don McMillan. This former chip designer has been doing his one-of-a-kind, PowerPoint-Driven comedy show for audiences for over 20 years. In his show packed with graphs & charts, Don will show you the funny side of your world that has been sitting right in front of you - you are just too busy working to notice. Don graduated from Stanford University with a Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering. He then went to work at AT&T Bell Labs where he was part of the team that designed the world’s first 32-bit microprocessor. He then moved to Silicon Valley where he helped launch the start-up company, VLSI Technology. Then after 15 years in the tech world, Don quit his job to become a stand-up comedian. That year he won $100,000 as the Comedy Grand Champion on “Star Search”. Don’s been seen on “The Tonight Show”, “HBO”, and the “Comedy Central”. These days, Don spends most of his time writing and performing customized corporate comedy shows for companies like Google, Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, Ford Motors, and Exxon/Mobil. Don has performed more than 800 corporate shows in the last 20 years and he was named the #1 Corporate Comedian by the CBS Business Network.

Комментарии • 129

  • @magicmulder
    @magicmulder 4 месяца назад +651

    "I'm sorry, I interruped your heckling with my act. Go on." was so polite and yet so savage. :D

    • @aaronwilcox4376
      @aaronwilcox4376 4 месяца назад +90

      It's like the line; "I'm sorry that the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours."

  • @funlovingvoyeur
    @funlovingvoyeur 4 месяца назад +237

    I immediately paused the clip to check the math - it was correct, I would not have expected otherwise. When I press play again I hear you ask: are you checking my math..... Yes, of course I am....

    • @utswriter
      @utswriter 3 месяца назад +2

      I gonna guess...... engineer?

    • @JustAJosuke
      @JustAJosuke 3 месяца назад +7

      Found the mechanical engineer

    • @Smeik100
      @Smeik100 3 месяца назад +2

      ​@@utswriter
      An engineer doesn't have to check this. He sees it and knows it to be right or not

  • @zevfarkas5120
    @zevfarkas5120 4 месяца назад +692

    Confused by all this high-tech jargon? Let me make it simple: Mechanical, chemical and electrical engineers design weapons. Civil engineers design targets.

    • @TannerJ07
      @TannerJ07 4 месяца назад +20

      Perfect description

    • @czarcoma
      @czarcoma 3 месяца назад +12

      Civil engineerings design the silos where the weapons fly out from.

    • @zevfarkas5120
      @zevfarkas5120 3 месяца назад +28

      @@czarcoma And those silos are prime targets for the enemy. QED ;)

    • @czarcoma
      @czarcoma 3 месяца назад

      @@zevfarkas5120 True

    • @briankinsey3339
      @briankinsey3339 3 месяца назад +14

      And Aerospace engineers design the best delivery vehicles. 🤓

  • @rexturner8208
    @rexturner8208 4 месяца назад +114

    Luv this guy's comedy. He is smart enough to be able to be able to work a crowd totally clean & be funny or bring out some edgy stuff if needed. Yes I am an electrical engineer, what of it?😂😂😂

    • @mikek0135
      @mikek0135 3 месяца назад

      I'd give you a thumbs up, but I'll let someone else ruin your 69.

  • @bikeny
    @bikeny 4 месяца назад +72

    The road test suggestion I think has become the way of the world in some places.

    • @liwojenkins
      @liwojenkins 2 месяца назад +3

      It's part of the Florida culture but I wish they would enforce it. The people that don't understand and drive the speed limit in the left lane mess it up for everyone.

  • @christopheld1
    @christopheld1 4 месяца назад +34

    You are hilarious and actually found the best way to fix the traffic in California with the line by speed! 😂😂😂

  • @toaddotexe9504
    @toaddotexe9504 2 месяца назад +9

    The fact that i broke at the hexidecimal joke... i was laughing the entire time but dammit for some reason thats what broke me, had to pause the video so i coupd breathe again lol

  • @mwm48
    @mwm48 3 месяца назад +26

    Civil Engineer here…I literally lol’ed at your Civil joke. 😂

    • @spencerhenstrom9344
      @spencerhenstrom9344 3 месяца назад

      Civil engineer here as well, I died at it

    • @Fix_It_Again_Tony
      @Fix_It_Again_Tony 3 месяца назад +1

      @@spencerhenstrom9344 I lost it at the counting in hexadecimal reference. That says all you need to know about me.

    • @relwalretep
      @relwalretep Месяц назад

      May you be uncivil on Friday night!

    • @cetitanenthusiast776
      @cetitanenthusiast776 Месяц назад

      ​@@Fix_It_Again_TonyI'm still trying to type the numbers into my calculator. Unfortunately my system only works in Octal. I may have missed a few software updates.

  • @biaberg3448
    @biaberg3448 4 месяца назад +69

    This is how the traffic works on German highways. No specific speed limits, but you can’t drive past the car in the line on your left side. So the speed gets higher the more to the left you get.

    • @ryankelly9032
      @ryankelly9032 3 месяца назад +12

      It’s supposed to be similar in the US, but with the speed limits. Unfortunately, we get a lot of people who like to drive slowly in the left line, which screws it up for the rest of us.

    • @HenryMidfields
      @HenryMidfields 3 месяца назад +3

      @@ryankelly9032 I think some of this can be solved by Don's idea. Not the "go for it", but say leftmost lane or two allows 75 or even 85mph, the middle lane(s) can be 65-70mph, and the rightmost lane (both the main one and any entry/exit lanes further right) only allows 55 mph (like in the not so good old days, but more reasonable).

    • @ryankelly9032
      @ryankelly9032 3 месяца назад +5

      @@HenryMidfields that’s effectively how it works now, but some people don’t care. It might help if it were officially the law, but until then, most drivers are inconsiderate of their fellow drivers and do whatever they want, regardless of how it affects other drivers.

  • @hummel6364
    @hummel6364 3 месяца назад +106

    Love how the separation by speed is basically what we do in Europe and it works so well. You can only overtake other cars on the left side, and trucks generally have to leave the far left lane open. This way the slow drivers are on the right most of the time, and in Germany specifically, the guys going 120+mph stick to the left lane.

    • @chaoslord8918
      @chaoslord8918 3 месяца назад +39

      This is how it's supposed to be in the US, but nobody here knows how to drive. I see big rigs trying to go uphill in the left lane, going right past a sign that says "Slower traffic keep right" all the time. Yeah, there's a healthy market for bumper stickers that say "If I pass you on the right, you're an idiot."

    • @Smeik100
      @Smeik100 3 месяца назад

      ​@@chaoslord8918
      It is dangerous to pass on the right

    • @adamperdue3178
      @adamperdue3178 3 месяца назад +22

      @@Smeik100 It is. Which is why if you're being passed on the right, then you're an idiot for making the road less safe. The left lane is* for passing, so if you're not passing somebody, get back into the right lane. Too many drivers have some sort of fucked up pride about being in 'the fast lane' and refuse to get over, forcing people to get into the right lane to get past them, which is unsafe.

    • @Smeik100
      @Smeik100 3 месяца назад +1

      @@adamperdue3178
      Wouldn't be the safest to queue in the left lane?

    • @adamperdue3178
      @adamperdue3178 3 месяца назад +7

      @@Smeik100 no. It's more dangerous because you would end up causing a congestion for no reason other than one person being too selfish to move over. And the congestion is more dangerous than passing on the left. (And it's also unreasonable to boot to say that if somebody is just plodding along in the left lane, that now everyone on the highway now has to conform to their speed)

  • @pictureel5863
    @pictureel5863 4 месяца назад +19

    More people need to discover Don’s comedy!!

  • @SilverSidedSquirrel
    @SilverSidedSquirrel 4 месяца назад +10

    "Is that my sweater? It's horrible..." - Jeremy Hotz

  • @garybarnes4169
    @garybarnes4169 4 месяца назад +30

    The British Yellow Pages used to have an entry "Boring: See Civil Engineers" 😂

    • @mikek0135
      @mikek0135 3 месяца назад

      😮😠😂

  • @jakeg3126
    @jakeg3126 4 месяца назад +11

    I always thought they should do lanes as how many exits until you get off so there’s less merging.

    • @TroyVan6654
      @TroyVan6654 4 месяца назад

      Until you get stuck behind a truck going 40 mph 3 exits out.

  • @markuhler2664
    @markuhler2664 2 месяца назад +2

    Damn it, he caught me! I did pause to add up the numbers.

  • @Yohann67
    @Yohann67 2 месяца назад +2

    My dad is mechanical engineer and I am in the medical field but I still have engineeritis so yeah, I laughed at a lot of those harder than maybe I should have. LOVE the texting/driving test idea; fail them all lol, let them know how bad they suck(but then they will still drive). So how about requiring some sort of large LED sign that illuminates the words CAUTION! MORON DRIVING when the phone is active. For most of us it wouldn’t be much of a surprise tho…….

  • @petertaylor4980
    @petertaylor4980 2 месяца назад +1

    My physics and electronics teacher taught me a mnemonic for the phases in reactive components with alternating current: CIVIL: current leads voltage in capacitors and lags in inductors. The mnemonic for the mnemonic was "civil engineers are the least intelligent engineers, so the mnemonic is chosen to be easy for them to remember".

  • @michaelplowman8674
    @michaelplowman8674 3 месяца назад +2

    As a fan of RCE, I now want to see that these two meet.

  • @setharnold9764
    @setharnold9764 3 месяца назад +1

    "FOAD" -- his story checks out, he's clearly a computer engineer.

  • @johnmckown1267
    @johnmckown1267 4 месяца назад +7

    Only 20+? 44+ in IT,on IBM mainframes.

    • @MyVanir
      @MyVanir 2 месяца назад

      It's not a dick size contest, bigger number does not mean you necessarily win.

  • @1bc003
    @1bc003 3 месяца назад +2

    I don't know if it is still this way, but Colorado I-25 was 75-65-55 back in the 90's.

    • @zevfarkas5120
      @zevfarkas5120 Месяц назад +1

      ...hike!

    • @andrewthomas7109
      @andrewthomas7109 20 дней назад

      They've added another lane each direction, so now it's 85-75-65-55

  • @JamesTDG
    @JamesTDG 4 месяца назад +6

    Hey Don, what's your thoughts on microelectronics engineers?

    • @jakeg3126
      @jakeg3126 4 месяца назад +15

      Probably thinks very little about them

    • @Fix_It_Again_Tony
      @Fix_It_Again_Tony 3 месяца назад

      @@jakeg3126 Their contributions are rather small.

    • @zevfarkas5120
      @zevfarkas5120 Месяц назад +1

      Size doesn't matter.

  • @zevfarkas5120
    @zevfarkas5120 4 месяца назад +13

    I missed his (apparently amusing) translation of Valencia. Anyone help me out here?

    • @NONO-hz4vo
      @NONO-hz4vo 4 месяца назад +17

      He said it was Spanish for Magic Mountain which is the name of the Six Flags theme park there.

    • @zevfarkas5120
      @zevfarkas5120 4 месяца назад +4

      @@NONO-hz4vo Thanks!

  • @Hoshimaru57
    @Hoshimaru57 3 месяца назад

    I passed the right turn while catching Pokémon part.
    Actually the irony is I was distracted in my last accident.
    But NOT by my phone, by the driver next to me.
    I’m driving to work first thing in the morning groggy and we get into high speed heavy traffic. I’m stuck in the left lane. At some point I go to get over right and notice that the vehicle passing me is a large RV with a Tow Mater trailer. I try to move up to move in front of it and notice that the door for the auxiliary port is open. And I think to myself “why is their auxiliary p-“ I look back just in time to see myself careening toward the car in front of me and swerve left hoping to dodge in the left breakdown lane. No good, it’s too thin too late. I take off the guy’s left rear quarter panel, peel my right front corner of my car like a banana, rip my right front tire off breaking the axle, bounce off the Jersey barrier on the left, and come screeching to a halt 200ft down the guardrail.
    I’m having flashbacks describing it.

  • @simonp.5964
    @simonp.5964 3 месяца назад +3

    The lanes he suggested are sort of how the Autobahn works. Quite rare to have five lanes at the same time though.

  • @HolySoliDeoGloria
    @HolySoliDeoGloria Месяц назад

    4:00 missing a plus sign. Bad engineer.

  • @RevokFarthis
    @RevokFarthis 3 месяца назад

    Oh... "Go for it" not "It for *Go* "

  • @jmwadding
    @jmwadding Месяц назад +1

    Quality engineer. WTF is that ?

    • @russcudney1469
      @russcudney1469 Месяц назад

      Overpaid broom pusher

    • @zevfarkas5120
      @zevfarkas5120 Месяц назад +3

      Someone who makes sure that no more than a particular amount of quality goes into the product.

    • @jmwadding
      @jmwadding Месяц назад

      @@zevfarkas5120 In my world (pharma) somebody who makes sure no batches go out the door because "I've got a non-data related feeling something is not right".

  • @anzaca1
    @anzaca1 2 месяца назад

    4:52 Isn't this how the autobahn works?

  • @DiMono
    @DiMono 3 месяца назад +1

    What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
    Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
    Thank you, I'll be here all comment.

  • @josephconway6122
    @josephconway6122 3 месяца назад +4

    Loved the older version where Cuss words was not part of the act.

    • @MyVanir
      @MyVanir 2 месяца назад +1

      Ye, it was fucking awesome.

  • @rgnestle
    @rgnestle 3 месяца назад +1

    Never heard you use the f-word before. I'm a little sad to have heard it now. But you are still hilarious!

  • @alexrechkin7
    @alexrechkin7 4 месяца назад +1

    Please read "Breaking comedy' DNA" by Jerry Corley and come up with more fresh material easier.

  • @jerrysinclair3771
    @jerrysinclair3771 4 месяца назад +12

    Don, F-bombs and s--t language is not your style. Kids watch these videos and think it is cool to talk like a drunken sailor. My wife walks by and cannot understand why i would watch or listen to this. Don, I thot you had more class.

    • @NerdyCatCoffeeee
      @NerdyCatCoffeeee 4 месяца назад +21

      First of, it's thought, second off, engineers without cursing is like Vikings without pillaging and advanced government. That doesn't exist, friend. (ask me how i know)

    • @jberzin3
      @jberzin3 4 месяца назад +3

      Probably you should not listen to this….

    • @kiddailey
      @kiddailey 4 месяца назад +3

      Yeah - I’ve shared a lot of Don’s stuff with friends, family and kids. Guess that’s the end of that for me sadly.

    • @jerrysinclair3771
      @jerrysinclair3771 4 месяца назад +3

      @@jberzin3 The point was that his previous videos did not stoop to such a level. Now that I have heard the worst...maybe he will change his ways. But me think, proably not.

    • @jerrysinclair3771
      @jerrysinclair3771 4 месяца назад +3

      @@NerdyCatCoffeeee I never heard his videos get vulgar and nasty before.