Lab Results - Cyanide & Happiness Shorts

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  • Опубликовано: 8 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 11 тыс.

  • @dinoguy3305
    @dinoguy3305 4 года назад +6497

    Captain America: Why can’t I join the Army?
    The Recruiter:

  • @Paper_Brain
    @Paper_Brain 3 года назад +1091

    I love how the “deaf” is circled. They knew he’d try to do this so they wanted to make sure he knew before he delivered the news. Apparently he didn’t read all the way through.

    • @Dawid23_Gamer
      @Dawid23_Gamer 11 месяцев назад +30

      The fact that he did not know suggests that he did not read it at all and just improvised the entire song.
      If the lab people were aware, they did either their worst or most hilarious job in their history.

  • @dumbarcus
    @dumbarcus 4 года назад +10999

    Him not seeing the deaf part shows that the doctor didn't practice the list and did it first try what a legend

    • @flguti
      @flguti 4 года назад +365

      What an absolutely mad lad

    • @ryunzen074
      @ryunzen074 4 года назад +108

      r/madlad

    • @black_caty
      @black_caty 4 года назад +121

      Disney movie in a nutshell

    • @haz2968
      @haz2968 3 года назад +24

      I didn't think about that. Nice.

    • @bethanyscarbrough3416
      @bethanyscarbrough3416 3 года назад +24

      @Sham Ram he must have been holding the clipboard with his thumb over the word 'deaf' the first time he read it.

  • @ShoeNerd
    @ShoeNerd 3 года назад +3433

    "Shit is outta wack"
    Professional medical terms.

    • @asylumskp4391
      @asylumskp4391 3 года назад +152

      Shit being outta whack is nothing to joke about my great grandfather died from that disease please be more considerate

    • @kimochi5009
      @kimochi5009 3 года назад +25

      @@asylumskp4391 Sorry

    • @asylumskp4391
      @asylumskp4391 3 года назад +45

      @@kimochi5009 Well, at least the inheritance bought a quite nice Lambo

    • @Flamefrosty
      @Flamefrosty 3 года назад +6

      @@asylumskp4391 I think this vid should be the last vid you should be seeing tbh

    • @asylumskp4391
      @asylumskp4391 3 года назад +4

      @@Flamefrosty Why?

  • @MilesKubicki
    @MilesKubicki 7 лет назад +3729

    This is the best fucking Cyanide and Happiness short ever made

    • @ColeCapone
      @ColeCapone 7 лет назад +23

      No shit. You know what song its based off of?

    • @leofisher1280
      @leofisher1280 7 лет назад +6

      Cole Fiore what is it?

    • @Rhianna.M
      @Rhianna.M 7 лет назад +56

      Leo Fisher The Major General's Song from Pirates of Penzance. It's one of the most famous and parodied songs in classic musical theatre, an extremely famous use of patter, which makes this cartoon even more impressive

    • @austinm5630
      @austinm5630 7 лет назад +2

      For me this is tied with John Battman, but yes, either this or that. Depends on what mood I'm in, I guess.

    • @Brikkyy13
      @Brikkyy13 7 лет назад +7

      Nah, Confession is still the greatest

  • @EntinludeX
    @EntinludeX 7 лет назад +13023

    Watched it on Mute for full effect

    • @recino2
      @recino2 7 лет назад +671

      Lude Crestfallen tried it. Made me wonder how he missed all the charts at the beginning. And why he isn't clapping in sign-language.

    • @challengegravity
      @challengegravity 7 лет назад +411

      Well, considering the doctor's singing happily, he might presume he's just singing about different ailments in general.
      Not like the patient will be able to see the small print of his name on the X-rays slides - even if deafness could improve vision

    • @Ki11er3combo
      @Ki11er3combo 7 лет назад +99

      the joke is that he was deaf.

    • @teo_m_2649
      @teo_m_2649 7 лет назад +59

      Tried it too that was annoying

    • @mysteriousperson2794
      @mysteriousperson2794 7 лет назад +32

      recino2 there is no sign language clapping

  • @cephalonbob15
    @cephalonbob15 3 года назад +2080

    This dude is literally the most resistant man alive, like he has every fatal plague known to man and every bone in his body is cancerous yet he still looks perfectly fine

    • @someonehungarian9002
      @someonehungarian9002 2 года назад +162

      Not only that he can even clap without breaking 17 bones.

    • @deputyzen834
      @deputyzen834 2 года назад +48

      It's because he doesn't play league

    • @Joey7Z7Horror
      @Joey7Z7Horror 2 года назад +19

      Being that this came out before the COVID breach and he has every fatal plague, how do you think he ended up getting it now?

    • @MRVAST-op7sg
      @MRVAST-op7sg 2 года назад +35

      He’s like Mr. burns

    • @Biggest_goober
      @Biggest_goober 2 года назад +7

      I gasped when he said he hasn’t finished her list

  • @shadyomo3636
    @shadyomo3636 3 года назад +1042

    I like how the doctor even shows him some of the diseases in the beginning and the dude still doesn't think somethings wrong

    • @dropkickpherby6994
      @dropkickpherby6994 3 года назад +73

      Dude was just happy to get a show while at the hospital...and then

    • @evanpaul3968
      @evanpaul3968 2 года назад +54

      @@dropkickpherby6994 it's like when the Avengers come visit you In the hospital, at first your so excited but then your realize why they're there

    • @Vampirecronicler
      @Vampirecronicler 2 года назад +16

      Well, showing the pictures without the context is pretty difficult

    • @moogandacasio
      @moogandacasio 2 года назад +17

      well yeah because if your doctor is hopping and dancing around the room and occasionally pointing at fucked up medical diagrams which are you going to focus on? lol

    • @finn596
      @finn596 Год назад +5

      I mean, if my doctor is dancing I'll assume that the results came back negative

  • @jeremiahthongchai9912
    @jeremiahthongchai9912 5 лет назад +4978

    Nobody can rap faster than Eminem
    Doctor: give me his lab results

  • @yaboylou7967
    @yaboylou7967 5 лет назад +4389

    Nobody:
    Medicine commercial: Side effects may include...

    • @cherrycoyote55
      @cherrycoyote55 4 года назад +78

      Pill advertisement for depression
      Side effects 0:06

    • @Omizuke
      @Omizuke 4 года назад +20

      Most accurate comment I've read on a while LOL

    • @JMcAfreak
      @JMcAfreak 4 года назад +27

      Play it at 2x speed for the true experience.

    • @SlyFunkyMonkey
      @SlyFunkyMonkey 4 года назад +6

      @@cherrycoyote55 try 0:07?

    • @omegacenturion6508
      @omegacenturion6508 4 года назад +2

      @@SlyFunkyMonkey 0:06 is better

  • @AlexBesogonov
    @AlexBesogonov 4 года назад +1861

    - Nurse, where are you taking me?
    - To the morgue.
    - But I'm alive!
    - Well, we're not there yet!

  • @thisisarobbery2148
    @thisisarobbery2148 4 года назад +1500

    “Also you’re deaf!”
    That’s the point where I just couldn’t.

  • @happysedits
    @happysedits 7 лет назад +8821

    When your head hurts just a little bit so you decide to google what's up with you

  • @plantdaddy4524
    @plantdaddy4524 7 лет назад +2640

    so I decided to look at what this guy has, along with a brief summary of everything:
    Norovirus - Intense Vomiting (depends on what is eating and drank, courtesy of Tobben Jees)
    hepatitis (doesn't specify what kind so assuming all of them) - Liver infections, inflammations out teh ass
    tendinitis - tissue connecting muscle to bone becomes inflamed
    syphilis - ulcers, sores (genital), gummas
    salmonella - diarrhea, fever, chills, abdominal pain
    sickle cell - prone to infections, bodily pain and fatigue
    rash
    toxoplasma - muscle pain, fever, and headache
    super asthma - difficulty breathing, chest pain, cough, and wheezing
    brain's arthritic - clouded consciousness
    blood's acidic - Acidosis causes some of the others symptoms, coma possible, weakness, arrhythmia, shortness of breath, headache, coughing (courtesy of Nguyen)
    dick hole trickles pickle juice - loss of control with bladder
    the pancreas is gangrenous - upper abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting
    seizure prone - difficult to control body at times
    every bone cancerous - dull aching pain (possible)
    joints go backward - very difficult to move
    taint's inflamed - perineum inflamed
    anus sprained - pain, swelling, muscle spasms, limited ability to move
    every vein is clogged with plaque
    spine is a wreck - scoliosis?
    your throat's infected from the neck down to your crack - that's not your throat anymore, that's your digestive system. Stomach, intestines
    poop is filled with lupus - probably has lupus then - fatigue, joint pain, rash, fever
    heart's diseased and full of bees - lots of blood clots
    measles - cough, runny nose, inflamed eyes, sore throat, fever, and a red, blotchy skin rash
    weevils - grain pest, why the hell they in this guy
    fecal beetles - why the hell this guy got beetles in his ass
    fetal Alcoholic syndrome - learning disabilities, bone and joint deformities, heart defects, and hyperactivity
    chronic symptoms (doesn't specify so assuming all of them) - none of this is going away
    nose is blown - HE CAN BREATHE THROUGH HIS NOSE MAYBE
    back is thrown - scoliosis then
    cells have unknown chromosomes - down syndrome and/or Klinefelter (some variant of them)
    kidney stones - hurts to piss
    loads of Crohns - abdominal pain, diarrhea, weight loss, anemia, and fatigue
    toenail cheese - his feet smell really bad
    pubic fleas - extremely itchy legs and arms, red swollen lumps which can develop into blisters or wounds, can cause infections
    leaky knees - baker's cyst - Symptoms can include pain, swelling and tightness behind the knee can lead to DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis)
    athlete's foot - rash that usually causes itching, stinging, and burning
    trucker's butt - the flattest ass
    one twisted nut - a LOT of pain
    liver sucks - Yellowed skin and eyes (jaundice) along with belly pain and swelling
    deaf - can't hear anything

    • @kasra72389
      @kasra72389 7 лет назад +110

      Is too much the right answer?
      Cause I'm pretty sure that's the only answer.

    • @Flamesaph
      @Flamesaph 7 лет назад +23

      Zachary Jensen you got the sickle cell part right cause I actually have it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • @ankitamavji3396
      @ankitamavji3396 7 лет назад +22

      Zachary Jensen atleast now I know I'm not the only one who does dumb things in my spare time

    • @emmalee8548
      @emmalee8548 7 лет назад +11

      Ha! I have lupus

    • @BartenderDownUnder
      @BartenderDownUnder 7 лет назад +29

      I had a twisted nut 3 years ago it hurt so fucking much
      The cord that goes from the testicle got wrapped around it therefor is got bigger and really red but as it was trying to get bigger the cord was still wrapped around it so i took some pills and somehow pills unwrapped a cord strangling my testicle

  • @helix5729
    @helix5729 7 лет назад +3340

    he isn't blind so hey at least he has that going for him

    • @OneEyedSnakes
      @OneEyedSnakes 7 лет назад +77

      Lorenzo Campolongo "atleast you're not blind" *in sign language*

    • @arceuslordofcreation8824
      @arceuslordofcreation8824 7 лет назад +78

      I'm sure he's thrilled about that

    • @illyquinn2509
      @illyquinn2509 7 лет назад +5

      I was the 666th like

    • @aidanyuen433
      @aidanyuen433 7 лет назад +15

      insert Helen Keller joke here

    • @ystconnection
      @ystconnection 7 лет назад +4

      Lorenzo Campolongo also no HIV or AIDES! I think...

  • @bedrockrevenge1254
    @bedrockrevenge1254 3 года назад +2514

    His Minecraft achievement is “How did we get here”.

    • @messyalien5164
      @messyalien5164 3 года назад +24

      Do you have 90 minutes?

    • @Anxiolf
      @Anxiolf 3 года назад +11

      @@messyalien5164 ah a fellow man of high culture i see

    • @thatphonebastard
      @thatphonebastard 3 года назад +4

      @@Anxiolf hey is this irish Street? Or did a I make a wrong turn at space is cool

    • @Anxiolf
      @Anxiolf 3 года назад

      @@thatphonebastard uhh this isnt Irish street but i can link you there

    • @thatphonebastard
      @thatphonebastard 3 года назад +2

      @@Anxiolf nah I'll just wonder around till I find it

  • @NoCumBacksiFunny
    @NoCumBacksiFunny 7 лет назад +3779

    If I am dying, this is how I want to be told

    • @Mitaka-Asa
      @Mitaka-Asa 7 лет назад +38

      but are you deaf?

    • @NoCumBacksiFunny
      @NoCumBacksiFunny 7 лет назад +41

      MULAN SzeChuan Teriyaki Dipping Sauce I cant hear you what

    • @thethatdude9218
      @thethatdude9218 7 лет назад +9

      NoCumBacks well since your dying anyway, go see a doctor!

    • @4outta5
      @4outta5 7 лет назад +6

      NoCumBacks You're the best account on iFunny!

    • @NoCumBacksiFunny
      @NoCumBacksiFunny 7 лет назад +3

      Noice Thanks fam :)

  • @mv6354
    @mv6354 6 лет назад +2621

    Why is it so catchy. I have heard it a million times now.

    • @BobJones-zl3yo
      @BobJones-zl3yo 6 лет назад +14

      M V-PlAyEr this is my 37th time resetting because it's just so awesome

    • @lordswagg9157
      @lordswagg9157 6 лет назад +5

      Same lol

    • @DanCojocaru2000
      @DanCojocaru2000 6 лет назад +15

      Animaniacs.

    • @nirobu
      @nirobu 6 лет назад +44

      Dan Cojocaru pretty sure it's the tune for modern major general

    • @mikailuoo949
      @mikailuoo949 6 лет назад +2

      10 times seen 😆

  • @Hellogamingnlolll
    @Hellogamingnlolll 6 лет назад +1038

    *sneezes*
    *goes to yahoo answers*
    0:06

    • @paper2941
      @paper2941 5 лет назад +13

      HAHAHA

    • @ghedebaronsamedi
      @ghedebaronsamedi 5 лет назад +15

      Unreasonably underrated comment. :'D

    • @jamesmoore10
      @jamesmoore10 5 лет назад +8

      We don’t know what it is?

    • @uck7185
      @uck7185 5 лет назад +3

      Arsabx webmd actually

    • @justcommenting6791
      @justcommenting6791 5 лет назад +4

      health teachers when you say this class doesn't matter because I can go to the docters

  • @forbidn7724
    @forbidn7724 3 года назад +591

    i feel like ive watched this a thousand times yet it never gets old.

  • @thatrooper1567
    @thatrooper1567 5 лет назад +2203

    "How long do i have?"
    "10"
    "10 what?"
    "9, 8, 7,..."

  • @Jake-nf9zf
    @Jake-nf9zf 7 лет назад +1539

    when u havent gone to the doctor in over 20 years

  • @Awesomegman1234
    @Awesomegman1234 7 лет назад +2723

    The tune to this song is... *infectious*

    • @bardt8132
      @bardt8132 7 лет назад +53

      I'm really sick of these cancerous puns.

    • @DasSpaceAce
      @DasSpaceAce 7 лет назад +11

      ba-dum CHEE!

    • @slump9149
      @slump9149 7 лет назад +12

      Totally Sickening.

    • @tomhchamp
      @tomhchamp 7 лет назад +20

      Gerald P It's the melody from The Very Model of a Modern Major-General from Pirates of Penzance. 's'classic.

    • @Asher.Yodaah
      @Asher.Yodaah 7 лет назад +9

      It is originally the Major-General song from Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance. Been parodied many times, but I recommend looking up the original.

  • @EthanX-x6g
    @EthanX-x6g 3 года назад +64

    He was deaf but still clapped to the beat
    What a legend

  • @jepiene
    @jepiene 6 лет назад +758

    Only at the last moment he realised he was deaf
    Which means he improvised the whole song

    • @toast3374
      @toast3374 6 лет назад +37

      Or he forgot he was deaf

    • @milkmanchristian9859
      @milkmanchristian9859 6 лет назад +19

      @@toast3374 how could he forget when it's in a RED CIRCLE

    • @imabird1566
      @imabird1566 6 лет назад +39

      I’ve seen plenty of clickbaity thumbnails with red circles and I have forgotten all of them.

    • @perseus5656
      @perseus5656 6 лет назад +2

      @@imabird1566 nice one

    • @gabrielgarcia9822
      @gabrielgarcia9822 6 лет назад +1

      But diring the backwards joints, the leg went backwards

  • @smasherjet
    @smasherjet 4 года назад +3075

    Patient: “Give it to me straight doc, what is it”
    Doctor: “*yes*”

  • @candydoggo8926
    @candydoggo8926 6 лет назад +3944

    Turn off sound to hear the song through the patients point of view

    • @perseus5656
      @perseus5656 6 лет назад +283

      I actualy did it

    • @arloxo6928
      @arloxo6928 6 лет назад +168

      It's more clear now

    • @falsegodichor
      @falsegodichor 6 лет назад +205

      Just looks like a happy tune...

    • @jefenstein7694
      @jefenstein7694 6 лет назад +54

      I understand now

    • @AstroLOW
      @AstroLOW 6 лет назад +79

      I don't understand how he was clapping away, I didn't know what was happening when I turned the sound off

  • @szariq7338
    @szariq7338 3 года назад +91

    The greatest example of dark humor in my opinion.

  • @spiralzy
    @spiralzy 7 лет назад +2287

    This is top tier C&H, good work

    • @robdenbleyker2029
      @robdenbleyker2029 7 лет назад +3

      THANKS BUDDY

    • @hydrowan
      @hydrowan 7 лет назад

      Rob DenBleyker Really good EP ☺️

    • @adihensem76
      @adihensem76 6 лет назад

      Toro is in the middle of an argument with me

  • @sampinto6466
    @sampinto6466 7 лет назад +3228

    Why can't all doctors be like this?

    • @Xskills16
      @Xskills16 7 лет назад +24

      Dr. Mordin Solus is!

    • @spearsharp
      @spearsharp 7 лет назад +8

      lost him in ME2 on my first run, played another run to get him back

    • @syrellius6027
      @syrellius6027 7 лет назад +56

      Cus some of them lost their medical license

    • @spearsharp
      @spearsharp 7 лет назад +12

      That's Dr. zed

    • @akirafudo8968
      @akirafudo8968 7 лет назад +24

      It would be really sad to hear

  • @froyohead
    @froyohead 7 лет назад +1349

    _Plot twist 2: He's nearsighted too, this is a pet hospital_

    • @cdxer
      @cdxer 7 лет назад +25

      Plot twist 3: He is half dog

    • @Amon-Jr
      @Amon-Jr 7 лет назад +17

      FroyoHead Animation plot twist 4: the doctor dies

    • @themoistoyster3015
      @themoistoyster3015 7 лет назад +15

      What the fuck

    • @dewaunwarren1
      @dewaunwarren1 7 лет назад +2

      FroyoHead Animation your avatar seems familiar what is from?

    • @cdxer
      @cdxer 7 лет назад +2

      Dewaun Warren It's from him. That's his channel icon.

  • @shoestringVA
    @shoestringVA 2 года назад +52

    Not enough props are given to Kevin Murphy for singing this. This feels right at home in a skit on MST3K.

    • @alexdionisos
      @alexdionisos 2 года назад +3

      Now I want to see Tom dancing around trying to over explain a runny nose to Mike or Joel

  • @CritScratch
    @CritScratch 7 лет назад +2439

    This doctor is the very model of a modern surgeon-general

  • @alsikepike5686
    @alsikepike5686 7 лет назад +4448

    At least he doesn't have AIDS. So he's got that going for him.

    • @TheMrGoodgamer
      @TheMrGoodgamer 7 лет назад +55

      Siphilis is AIDS. He has AIDS.

    • @AssassinSDG015
      @AssassinSDG015 7 лет назад +136

      +TheMrGoodgamer u do know that syphilis and AIDS r 2 different things?

    • @alsikepike5686
      @alsikepike5686 7 лет назад +76

      TheMrGoodgamer where are you getting that info from? Because it's completely wrong. AIDS stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Sydrome. As in, your immune system is fucked up because you caught HIV. Syphilis is a completely different disease.

    • @Bluefangs157
      @Bluefangs157 7 лет назад +25

      AIDS affects the immune system making you susceptible to disease, syphilis is an std that affects the skin and eventually can lead to organ damage

    • @MusicMaster1371760
      @MusicMaster1371760 7 лет назад +111

      At least no one hurt his dick

  • @therooster72
    @therooster72 6 лет назад +542

    this is by far my favorite cyanide and happiness short

    • @adamharford4142
      @adamharford4142 6 лет назад +1

      I like the one with Lunk

    • @txcneko4022
      @txcneko4022 5 лет назад +1

      I tried and even with no sound I noticed my result was bad

    • @spartanwar1185
      @spartanwar1185 5 лет назад

      Dark humor to the extreme lmao
      The only thing that could make it darker is if the lab coat was black and if batman had a cameo during the song

  • @yaboiiskelly2502
    @yaboiiskelly2502 3 года назад +67

    I bet this guy was just watching his doctor dance around and just went "Ah hell I don't wanna be the one to stop him."

  • @ZERO-rz2go
    @ZERO-rz2go 4 года назад +3602

    The original song is from “I am the model of a modern major general”

  • @reallylamekid8120
    @reallylamekid8120 4 года назад +877

    The clipboard actually list the lyrics
    *RESPECT+*

    • @childoftheauthor
      @childoftheauthor 4 года назад +4

      *angry description noises*

    • @miguelvillegas7049
      @miguelvillegas7049 4 года назад +1

      @@jackgibson511
      Ain’t that wacky? 😳

    • @luigiman64
      @luigiman64 3 года назад

      Do you think he practice this right before he came into the room

    • @chamodsamarasinghe1638
      @chamodsamarasinghe1638 3 года назад

      You'd think they would just be scribbles.

    • @schwifty9520
      @schwifty9520 3 года назад +1

      I love the lack of detail in the 'Liver sucks' entry 🤣

  • @lolguy776
    @lolguy776 7 лет назад +599

    This is the best one they've made in a while.

    • @BrandonTrex
      @BrandonTrex 7 лет назад +4

      Joshua Walrath it's based on one of their comics. But the comic wasn't musical

  • @paul_109
    @paul_109 2 года назад +29

    You know it's bad when your doctor walks in with an orchestra

  • @funtainment777
    @funtainment777 5 лет назад +1695

    Doctor: You have 1 minute and 37 seconds to live
    Me: What are my symptoms again?
    Doctor:

  • @Cloruro
    @Cloruro 7 лет назад +2458

    When your head hurts and you ask Google...

    • @Joe-xq6on
      @Joe-xq6on 7 лет назад +10

      Nicolino Ricolino you should ask them how to spell *ask

    • @CheezayBallz
      @CheezayBallz 7 лет назад +87

      No matter what it is, You have cancer

    • @redmanpanda2343
      @redmanpanda2343 7 лет назад +19

      Nicolino Ricolino god that is me in a nutshell

    • @ohyeahyeah7318
      @ohyeahyeah7318 6 лет назад

      Sad Boi their is nothing wrong with it

    • @cubez2289
      @cubez2289 5 лет назад

      Oh yeah yeah He edited the comment

  • @puggers8219
    @puggers8219 Год назад +81

    The side effects at the end of a medical commercial:

  • @vinnyx3585
    @vinnyx3585 5 лет назад +522

    Norovirus-Norovirus is a very contagious virus that causes vomiting and diarrhea
    Hepatitis- inflammation of the liver
    Tendinitis- A condition in which the tissue connecting muscle to bone becomes inflamed.
    Syphillis-A bacterial infection usually spread by sexual contact that starts as a painless sore.
    Salmonella-An infection with salmonella bacteria, commonly caused by contaminated food or water.
    Sickle cell-A group of disorders that cause red blood cells to become misshapen and break down.
    A rash- Temporary outbreak of red, bumpy, scaly, or itchy patches of skin, possibly with blisters or welts.
    Toxoplasma-A disease that results from infection with the Toxoplasma gondii parasite.
    Asthma-A condition in which a person's airways become inflamed, narrow and swell, and produce extra mucus, which makes it difficult to breathe.
    Arthritic brain-
    Rheumatoid arthritis and brain fog. Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is best known for causing painful, swollen joints. But many people with RA say they also have to deal with symptoms like forgetfulness, trouble concentrating, and difficulty thinking clearly.
    Acidic blood-Acidosis is caused by an overproduction of acid that builds up in the blood or an excessive loss of bicarbonate from the blood (metabolic acidosis) or by a buildup of carbon dioxide in the blood that results from poor lung function or depressed breathing (respiratory acidosis).
    Dick hole trickles pickle juice- um..??
    Gangrenous- Death of tissue in a living body, especially in a limb, caused by a bacterial infection resulting from a blockage of the blood supply to the affected tissue.
    Seizure prone-A disorder in which nerve cell activity in the brain is disturbed, causing seizures.
    Cancer-A disease in which abnormal cells divide uncontrollably and destroy body tissue.
    Taint inflamed- · They happen when bacteria enter your body and cause an infection. Your immune system sends white blood cells to the area, which can cause pus to form in the area.
    Anus sprained-Anal injury. Injuries to the anal region are often the result of changes in bowel function. ... Sometimes the muscles in and around the anal region go into spasm, and this can lead to a tightening of the sphincter that makes passing stool painful. It can also cause a tear, which can bleed.
    Vein clogged with plaque-Plaque is a mixture of fat, calcium, cholesterol, and waste from the cells in the body. ... Clogged or blocked arteries can stop fresh blood from reaching parts of the body, which can put a person at risk of a heart attack, heart failure, or stroke.
    Spine a wreck- Damage to any part of the spinal cord or nerves at the end of the spinal canal.
    Infected throat-Pain or irritation in the throat that can occur with or without swallowing, often accompanies infections, such as a cold or flu.
    Heart diseased-Heart conditions that include diseased vessels, structural problems, and blood clots.
    Measles-A viral infection that's serious for small children but is easily preventable by a vaccine.
    Weevils-Weevils are a type of beetle belonging to the superfamily Curculionoidea
    Alcoholic syndrome-Physical and mental damage in a child due to alcohol exposure while in the womb.
    Chronic symptoms-
    The main symptom is fatigue for over six months. The fatigue often worsens with activity, but doesn't improve with rest.
    Kidney stones-A small, hard deposit that forms in the kidneys and is often painful when passed.
    Crohns-A chronic inflammatory bowel disease that affects the lining of the digestive tract.
    Leaky knees-When effusion happens in a joint - commonly the knee - excess fluid can pool in a part of the joint called the synovial cavity. It then leaks out into the soft tissue around the joint. This can happen as a result of injury, infection, or arthritis: ... Joint effusion caused by an injury often is accompanied by joint pain.
    Athletes foot- A fungal infection that usually begins between the toes.
    Trucker butt- When you've been driving too long and your ass starts to hurt real bad like a truck/ semi driver's ass would.
    Twisted testicle-A twisting of the male organ that makes hormones and sperm (testicle).
    Deaf-Total or significant loss of hearing.
    Thanks for reading all of this it took a long time

  • @Inderastein
    @Inderastein 5 лет назад +464

    Me: *Finding the best way to make a virus in Plague Inc*

  • @baoquannguyen1542
    @baoquannguyen1542 7 лет назад +2957

    The most unlucky guy in the world

    • @varietyhub2948
      @varietyhub2948 7 лет назад +88

      Jax mac321 no,that role goes to sad larry

    • @abdnasar6206
      @abdnasar6206 6 лет назад +27

      Jax mac321 also his lucky that his deaf he wont hear all that

    • @monoka4929
      @monoka4929 6 лет назад +12

      Have you even been on this channel before? XD

    • @thetruem8178
      @thetruem8178 6 лет назад +4

      Jax mac321 well actually its brine not juice

    • @caseyjames9058
      @caseyjames9058 6 лет назад

      That right

  • @twicelostgeek
    @twicelostgeek 2 года назад +19

    Kevin Murphy is a national treasure.

  • @leannakar293
    @leannakar293 6 лет назад +707

    Lesson: Don't diagnose yourself on the internet

    • @xxhunterxxhunter6037
      @xxhunterxxhunter6037 5 лет назад +2

      Me:i got punched in the nuts and my nuts
      Google: you have Aids Also your penis is rotting

  • @seraj1808
    @seraj1808 6 лет назад +1281

    1:13 me when seeing exam results

    • @internetuser736
      @internetuser736 6 лет назад +11

      Rahman Serajur good one.

    • @toadlord8594
      @toadlord8594 6 лет назад +17

      When I look at my College tests results.

    • @markcampos4862
      @markcampos4862 5 лет назад +11

      Doctor=teacher
      You are the blue shirt guy
      So basically its your teacher saying you had a perfect score then he double checked and you actually got an F

    • @thedyldillpicklerockstarfo9067
      @thedyldillpicklerockstarfo9067 5 лет назад +3

      FB I a bit too early

    • @sh3ndufromyt531
      @sh3ndufromyt531 5 лет назад +2

      Ohh snaap the cops are here quick RUN!!!!!!

  • @paigeeden4496
    @paigeeden4496 4 года назад +341

    I know that everyone's saying this is funny, and it is, but it also has INSANE amounts of talent! Good on you!!!

    • @alexdionisos
      @alexdionisos 3 года назад +8

      The fact its Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo)makes it that much funnier

  • @i-am-goose8428
    @i-am-goose8428 3 года назад +38

    1.25 speed would be the tempo of “I am the very model of a modern major general”

    • @blankblank9063
      @blankblank9063 3 года назад +1

      you actually made me go back and watch it in different speeds. GG.

    • @jackslater8573
      @jackslater8573 3 года назад

      watching what happens after the song at 0.5 seconds is also super funny

  • @alexmoscatelli149
    @alexmoscatelli149 7 лет назад +1035

    "Please never reproduce" 😂😂😂

    • @njackson6807
      @njackson6807 7 лет назад +59

      Galactic Virus
      Might give his child a Z chromosome XD

    • @RoFLduhasLoLgesagt
      @RoFLduhasLoLgesagt 7 лет назад +4

      omg, your comment has 404 likes, so basically, there is no longer a comment, till someone likes your comment again :D

  • @JMcAfreak
    @JMcAfreak 7 лет назад +786

    WebMD: The Musical

  • @fulcrum2951
    @fulcrum2951 4 года назад +229

    The fact the patient is still alive with all those afflictions amazed me

  • @julianofmemes9289
    @julianofmemes9289 3 года назад +64

    The guy who handed the report to the doctor must be a damn good writer, able to creat a flawless song out of so many diseases. Also props to the doctor, who sang it perfectly first try (he read it first time cause he didn’t know he deaf)

  • @mokka1115
    @mokka1115 5 лет назад +661

    Meanwhile in the Lab: HOW DID HE GET THOSE THINGS????

    • @s-tale6165
      @s-tale6165 5 лет назад +17

      (╯°□°)╯︵(\ .o.)\
      That must be how they look like

    • @connormartinson7619
      @connormartinson7619 5 лет назад +17

      He played fork knife so his parents didn’t vaccinate him

    • @theguyintheworks8838
      @theguyintheworks8838 5 лет назад +1

      Drugs. Stay away, kiddies.

    • @joksizantos7520
      @joksizantos7520 5 лет назад +6

      Plague Inc

    • @thegrimviolet9497
      @thegrimviolet9497 5 лет назад

      Simple he decided to take a trip through a nuclear reactor and found a nice glowing play toy XD

  • @octaviusthe2nd672
    @octaviusthe2nd672 4 года назад +357

    Me: *coughes for once*
    Parents: You're ok
    Doc: You're ok
    Google:

  • @parkerasel8129
    @parkerasel8129 4 года назад +219

    I’m proud to announce the Broadway special:
    Illnesses the Musical!

    • @floskywalker6220
      @floskywalker6220 4 года назад +4

      The crowd will be dying from laughter, AND whatever we bring on the stage!

    • @bensharpie7718
      @bensharpie7718 3 года назад

      On iceeeeeee

  • @GamingFemboy
    @GamingFemboy 4 года назад +61

    “Poop fill with Lupis”
    -Doctor

  • @ArghaSaha05
    @ArghaSaha05 7 лет назад +454

    I didn't think he would survive for 98 seconds.

  • @OfSpace.
    @OfSpace. 7 лет назад +577

    Can I set this as my alarm?

  • @brandoncliburn767
    @brandoncliburn767 7 лет назад +303

    Nice to know they turn the original comic into this short :)

  • @awkwardsilence3951
    @awkwardsilence3951 4 года назад +19

    I just respect the guy who wrote the subtitles

  • @froyohead
    @froyohead 7 лет назад +2512

    *_Doctors are like snooze buttons for death._*

    • @tissuewater
      @tissuewater 7 лет назад +5

      also sounds badass

    • @pupiniastewart1957
      @pupiniastewart1957 7 лет назад

      Daniel Fernandez ;)

    • @bonemealas1175
      @bonemealas1175 7 лет назад +7

      Stop advertising your channel with these comments.

    • @methalor8915
      @methalor8915 7 лет назад +1

      Povilas Kazakas stop advertising your channel with these responses

    • @Murkiry
      @Murkiry 7 лет назад +9

      +Povilas Kazakas Just because he makes videos himself he's not allowed to post comments on other videos? That's not how it works, mate.
      I hate spam just as much as you, but this is not a spam comment.

  • @saneladoldchannel3712
    @saneladoldchannel3712 6 лет назад +900

    *watches it 6 times*
    Just one more time
    *762 hours later*
    JUST ONE MORE TIME

    • @MaxMalevich
      @MaxMalevich 6 лет назад +8

      Basically the same effect as Michael Jackson. You want to stop but you can't

    • @cameronmorgan2347
      @cameronmorgan2347 5 лет назад +2

      @@MaxMalevich maybe he just didn't have enough

    • @notbackuptnt1283
      @notbackuptnt1283 5 лет назад +1

      Same

    • @generalcyanide3602
      @generalcyanide3602 5 лет назад +1

      You were 55% through the 27,991st video when you said one more time.

    • @brolymaininfighterz962
      @brolymaininfighterz962 5 лет назад

      So you been watching the same video nonstop for 31.75 days

  • @aseofspades4802
    @aseofspades4802 7 лет назад +299

    me: my head hurts
    web md: *this song*

    • @nameless4630
      @nameless4630 7 лет назад +11

      HAHAHAAHAHAHAH YESS SO TRUE!!😂😂

    • @mageparis
      @mageparis 7 лет назад

      according to google have........Folliculitis

  • @jjm6562
    @jjm6562 3 года назад +8

    Salute to the writers and the singer!

    • @alexdionisos
      @alexdionisos 3 года назад +1

      That's the power of Kevin Murphy

  • @froyohead
    @froyohead 7 лет назад +2294

    _Doctor gave me 3 months to live._
    _I'm so lazy, I missed the deadline._
    _This was 4 months ago._

    • @audiofile8311
      @audiofile8311 7 лет назад +2

      How do you write in Italics?

    • @rahyutkill8442
      @rahyutkill8442 7 лет назад +21

      FroyoHead Animation Alt+F4

    • @audiofile8311
      @audiofile8311 7 лет назад

      Dont need a lecture.

    • @audiofile8311
      @audiofile8311 7 лет назад

      Patrick Spiegel んのW リのひ レノズ乇 ᄊ乇 刀のW

    • @kolaignad6495
      @kolaignad6495 7 лет назад +54

      Doctors are weird man. After my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor 'how soon dya think we' ll be able to have sex', he just winked at me and told me to meet him in the car pack in 10 minutes.

  • @Artbug
    @Artbug 7 лет назад +411

    This was a WebMD singing you your symptoms when you search sore throat....

  • @callmesem7374
    @callmesem7374 6 лет назад +2608

    When you you have every upgrade in plague inc.

    • @SWonYT
      @SWonYT 6 лет назад +28

      What I was thinking.

    • @gianm8541
      @gianm8541 6 лет назад +20

      Yeh, that's a very accurate definition and description about this video

    • @CherryTanker
      @CherryTanker 6 лет назад +9

      That is acutally completely true

    • @simd3082
      @simd3082 6 лет назад +2

      Its on of the symptoms! @liberty

    • @ohyeahyeah1174
      @ohyeahyeah1174 6 лет назад +11

      But the last person is glitched so he can’t die

  • @IUseRandomPfps
    @IUseRandomPfps Год назад +6

    This will forever be the greatest Cyanide and Happiness short.

  • @Xast10
    @Xast10 7 лет назад +1560

    Well at least he's not blind

  • @Schensue
    @Schensue 7 лет назад +80

    Kevin Murphy is the very model of a modern general practitioner.

    • @iz723
      @iz723 7 лет назад +1

      Mordin.....

  • @handsomegrinch6279
    @handsomegrinch6279 7 лет назад +2399

    If Disney owns a hospital

    • @stoutyyyy
      @stoutyyyy 7 лет назад +1

      Disney wasn't even born when this was written

    • @kellenrist3973
      @kellenrist3973 7 лет назад +7

      ...? Disney's been dead for years. How could he NOT have been born before this?

    • @smefbob
      @smefbob 7 лет назад +2

      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pirates_of_Penzance

    • @briansammond7801
      @briansammond7801 7 лет назад +8

      Because the tune is "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" by Gilbert and Sullivan, written in 1879, and Disney was born in 1901.

    • @bfrost5266
      @bfrost5266 7 лет назад +1

      Khalid Faisal Lmaoooo XDD

  • @Dkm337
    @Dkm337 3 года назад +17

    the transition of seeing "deaf" and realizing " deaf"🤣.

  • @thekingofthecats42069
    @thekingofthecats42069 7 лет назад +200

    WebMD when you type "slight cough"

  • @Dryaspis
    @Dryaspis 7 лет назад +588

    Your cells have unknown chromosomes killed me XD

    • @nickkunst4309
      @nickkunst4309 6 лет назад

      Aggelos M what if the chromosomes said sxx 👉👌😘

    • @thatmonkemanzelinki2185
      @thatmonkemanzelinki2185 6 лет назад +14

      Noah Lampkin SIR THIS IS AN ADULT SERVER SO NO EMOJIS

    • @antster139
      @antster139 6 лет назад +1

      Spoy Crobs um he/she can do whatever he/she wants your the one that's acting like a child

    • @pikminpro6692
      @pikminpro6692 6 лет назад +5

      Chichi Ugo *you're

    • @antster139
      @antster139 6 лет назад

      PikminPro Dabest even if I made a mistake I think he'll know what I'm talking about

  • @tomservodoctor42
    @tomservodoctor42 7 лет назад +57

    Kevin Murphy's singing will never not entertain me.

    • @Guanthwei
      @Guanthwei 7 лет назад +4

      You should watch the new season if you haven't yet.

    • @osmium6832
      @osmium6832 7 лет назад +1

      Do you mean the second season of the Cyanide and Happiness show? If Kevin Murphy's in it, I'm subscribing to Seeso right now.

    • @DanaTheInsane
      @DanaTheInsane 7 лет назад

      I think he means the new MST3K.

    • @Guanthwei
      @Guanthwei 7 лет назад

      Yea I meant MST3K

  • @gwreevesReeves
    @gwreevesReeves Год назад +9

    Kevin Murphy!!! From MST3K!! I knew I recognized his voice. Best show ever!

  • @comingsoon199
    @comingsoon199 7 лет назад +294

    1:15 when u see ur exam results after thinking that u will pass

    • @_otaku_395
      @_otaku_395 7 лет назад +5

      The Dark Craft Rises so true

    • @Zebrakoids
      @Zebrakoids 7 лет назад +1

      The Dark Craft Rises Yes.

    • @billymcleod1963
      @billymcleod1963 7 лет назад

      HAHAHAHA you're so funny!!😒

    • @comingsoon199
      @comingsoon199 7 лет назад +6

      SodaDuck McFarland it's the truth accept it

    • @fuzz134
      @fuzz134 7 лет назад +4

      SodaDuck McFarland Your bad sarcasm was made worse by the emoji.

  • @timesnewlogan2032
    @timesnewlogan2032 7 лет назад +160

    "So what you're saying is... I'm indestructible?"

    • @gameguy20100
      @gameguy20100 7 лет назад +20

      TimesNewLogan oh no. in fact a slight breeze could...

    • @Not-pu4sn
      @Not-pu4sn 7 лет назад +20

      gameguy20100 indestructible...

    • @thepooch2476
      @thepooch2476 7 лет назад +6

      TimesNewLogan simpsons reference i got you dog

    • @scratch2086
      @scratch2086 7 лет назад +2

      That was pretty funny, I remember that episode

    • @timesnewlogan2032
      @timesnewlogan2032 7 лет назад +2

      I love you guys!

  • @Ian-bf4yk
    @Ian-bf4yk 7 лет назад +275

    This reminds me of the Simpson's of episode where mr Burns gets a checkup he is told he has every disease including new ones that were just discovered in him but he had so many that they were preventing each other from killing him he thought it made him invincible but the doctor was like no the slightest breeze could kill you

  • @Crit_Phil
    @Crit_Phil 3 года назад +10

    This is the funniest short they've made. Change my mind.

  • @Ominous_Bambi
    @Ominous_Bambi 7 лет назад +214

    When you're trying to distract yourself from waiting on the results of your blood test so you go watch a cyanide and happiness and then this 😂😂😂

  • @earthchild03
    @earthchild03 6 лет назад +204

    My first impression on 0:18 was that Mr. Watson just knew he was doomed, so he just decided to enjoy the doctor singing.

    • @xurtxobain3285
      @xurtxobain3285 6 лет назад +11

      But he's deaf. He can't enjoy the singing.

    • @earthchild03
      @earthchild03 6 лет назад +29

      Which I didn't realize until the end. Key words: first impression

    • @jg-fo6zs
      @jg-fo6zs 6 лет назад +4

      +3 points for using his name

    • @analien3831
      @analien3831 5 лет назад

      I was watching the amazing world of gumball when I read the words mr watson and they said the name

    • @jacksonm6969
      @jacksonm6969 5 лет назад

      Interhuman Films & TV d

  • @jurkor4
    @jurkor4 7 лет назад +1482

    Plague INC *_In a nutshell_*

  • @brendenbradach
    @brendenbradach 3 года назад +4

    Its always great to hear Kevin Murphy doing comedy.

  • @durpddurke4633
    @durpddurke4633 7 лет назад +710

    Me: **Stubs my toe**
    WebMD: *YOU NEED TO AMPUTATE YOUR LEG IMMEDIATELY*

  • @DerpGuyPlayz101
    @DerpGuyPlayz101 7 лет назад +685

    i dont know if im more confused on him clapping to the beat or why he's not dead yet

    • @astropeen9811
      @astropeen9811 7 лет назад +42

      He was clapping because he had no idea what the doctor was saying because he's death

    • @Mrspiderman20014
      @Mrspiderman20014 7 лет назад +41

      Alan Cajamarca *deaf

    • @Zacuree
      @Zacuree 7 лет назад +36

      if hes deaf he cant hear the beat?

    • @professorhentai1986
      @professorhentai1986 7 лет назад +50

      Zacuree he can feel the vibrations

    • @trashbanditc00n
      @trashbanditc00n 7 лет назад +11

      I listened to this with the valume muted so I can see how the other guy saw it

  • @silentsniper7607
    @silentsniper7607 7 лет назад +216

    If only every doctor was that way.

  • @lokielectro1585
    @lokielectro1585 3 года назад +10

    I love how he circle the deaf like earlir he was "ok this is important" and forget anyways.

  • @user-cg2tb9or2l
    @user-cg2tb9or2l 6 лет назад +273

    *BETTER THAN DESPASITO*

    • @thestargamer6516
      @thestargamer6516 6 лет назад +1

      Mr.wattson:this is so sad hey doc tell me my dignosis

    • @AdamusClowner
      @AdamusClowner 6 лет назад +4

      How about DEAF-PASITO?

    • @MeeM927
      @MeeM927 6 лет назад +1

      No, *NOTHING IS BETTER THAN DESPACITO.*

    • @scp-op6dj
      @scp-op6dj 6 лет назад

      nigga u thought

  • @soih3516
    @soih3516 7 лет назад +974

    Try watching this again muting your sound

    • @JonesCrimson
      @JonesCrimson 7 лет назад +62

      That was a trip. It actually made it kind of super sad.

    • @MattMusky
      @MattMusky 7 лет назад +17

      That wasn't fun

    • @RileyIsntDead
      @RileyIsntDead 7 лет назад +13

      That was... Revealing.

    • @Artliker1234
      @Artliker1234 7 лет назад +39

      Soichiro Hiroshima I suddenly get the clapping

    • @Copkiller1997
      @Copkiller1997 7 лет назад +2

      I just can´t do it´s just too good!

  • @Akantorz
    @Akantorz 7 лет назад +1398

    Poor doctor, he just wanted his patient to...Hear him out....

  • @lanieverder4647
    @lanieverder4647 3 года назад +39

    He wants to pursue his dreams of Being a singer but his mother want him to be a doctor but knew he could still pursue his dreams as a singing doctor and the only person who could only have heard his song was deaf

  • @mr.gyabaah5984
    @mr.gyabaah5984 5 лет назад +540

    I turned off the volume now I see why he was clapping

    • @kurumauzamaki2731
      @kurumauzamaki2731 5 лет назад +17

      Mr. Gyabaah but didn’t he see some of the things that he had

    • @danielmartin6887
      @danielmartin6887 5 лет назад +29

      @@kurumauzamaki2731 he could be saying he was imune to those. Or just singing about the things he learnt in college. How is he supposed to know for sure that he is singing the results of the tests?

    • @frut_jooos
      @frut_jooos 5 лет назад +27

      Like the doctor looked happy so I would naturally presume that he's singing good news

    • @noahchmielewski1347
      @noahchmielewski1347 5 лет назад +4

      Kuruma Uzamaki well he does have 0:06

    • @MapleDubs
      @MapleDubs 5 лет назад +2

      I understand now

  • @JohnDubuc
    @JohnDubuc 7 лет назад +2209

    Deaf? More like death.

    • @skelrek4475
      @skelrek4475 7 лет назад +4

      John Dubuc its you! :)

    • @connan7911
      @connan7911 7 лет назад +35

      Hi welcome to the Cyanide & Happiness RUclips channel.

    • @kurtka8720
      @kurtka8720 7 лет назад

      fancy running into you here...

    • @trinity3631
      @trinity3631 7 лет назад +1

      There is a Cyanide and Happiness comic like this

    • @kingjulian.r5748
      @kingjulian.r5748 7 лет назад +7

      That pun is so bad its good

  • @Fs7Brodies
    @Fs7Brodies 7 лет назад +637

    when my teacher show me my report card 1:16 *well some time a ass whooping*

  • @lordmagicmann
    @lordmagicmann 3 года назад +1

    Oddly one of the only songs I can listen to over and over again without it getting old.

  • @ASHISHKUMARDPSG
    @ASHISHKUMARDPSG 7 лет назад +1323

    Ah, I've been there...
    Everytime I googled​ my mild fever.

    • @xbalanquebronze3171
      @xbalanquebronze3171 7 лет назад +10

      Ashish Kumar Webmd

    • @KitsuneNeko
      @KitsuneNeko 7 лет назад +20

      Must be cancer... cus it's never Lupis.

    • @majinboot8775
      @majinboot8775 7 лет назад +1

      Mao Zedong You are technically correct. The best kind of correct.

    • @nihilisticpancakeface6553
      @nihilisticpancakeface6553 7 лет назад +6

      +Mao Zedong i only go to the do doctor if i reach 40 degrees celcius and drink medicine if im 41 degrees

    • @mulder801
      @mulder801 7 лет назад +4

      you just got webmd'ed mate !