4 Behaviors You Must Un-Learn to Succeed in Dating Filipinas

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  • Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024

Комментарии • 110

  • @Lifebeyondthesea
    @Lifebeyondthesea  Месяц назад +10

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    • @garypowell4866
      @garypowell4866 Месяц назад

      What I want to know how is it you and your wife live alone? She's supposed to invite 17 of her close relatives to live with you!

  • @vernondavis561
    @vernondavis561 Месяц назад +21

    In summary:
    1. Don’t be a Simp.
    2. Set boundaries & limitations.
    3. Be consistent with qualifiers.
    4. Is there objective chemistry?
    5. Don’t make rash decisions. Be deliberate and don’t be afraid to walk away.

  • @Vejitasei
    @Vejitasei Месяц назад +28

    Patrice O'Neal - The relationship works best when she loves you, and you like her.

    • @Stew357
      @Stew357 Месяц назад

      With the benefit of 50+ years of dating, then marriage, then dating again, Patrice's advice was spot on. He was a funny guy too, RIP Patrice.

  • @deathbyhotsauce
    @deathbyhotsauce Месяц назад +32

    I found out the hard way (cheated on and divorced) that when you put someone on a pedestal soon they will be looking down on you.

  • @johncarlson6472
    @johncarlson6472 Месяц назад +23

    This is a great vlog that every young man should watch. I'm in my 60's and live in the USA. After my divorce in 94', I made a pact with myself to date a woman for at least two years before considering marriage. Not one woman I've dated since made the cut...and gentlemen, I'm not that picky.

    • @tommyebay
      @tommyebay Месяц назад +1

      Ditto

    • @jumperstartful
      @jumperstartful Месяц назад +1

      #1 learn the word DON"T!

    • @tavo6317
      @tavo6317 Месяц назад +4

      Is hard, women in the US, don’t have much to offer, sadly is true!

  • @ArksideGames
    @ArksideGames Месяц назад +17

    This is GOLDEN ADVICE, applicable for everyone everywhere 🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @deejay7060
    @deejay7060 Месяц назад +3

    If you treat her like a celebrity, she’ll treat you like a fan.

  • @JAZARISTARLIGHT
    @JAZARISTARLIGHT Месяц назад +29

    Congratulations on your best video ever my friend

  • @RandyRhode-yq5hq
    @RandyRhode-yq5hq Месяц назад +22

    Good points. Thanks for the reminder and reinforcement of "not to rush into things". I am 74 and got back from an eight week exploratory visit a month ago. A Filipina (only 2 texting chats from US) traveled with me the last 6 weeks, after I visited her in the province and meet her siblings for 5 days. She may be the one. I worry because she is the first and only Filipina I have dated. Though she is 51, she looks better to me than most Filipinas with foreigners, including the young ones. She checks all the boxes you mentioned. Next month I will be coming back for a month and stay in one place with a kitchen, so we can be in a domestic mode. In December I plan to leave the US for at least a year, probably more.

    • @Lifebeyondthesea
      @Lifebeyondthesea  Месяц назад +11

      nothing wrong with taking the time to get to know her. then, take it from there. all, one step at a time.

    • @ManOfAdventure2011
      @ManOfAdventure2011 Месяц назад +6

      Why do the cohabitation thing so early?

    • @RandyRhode-yq5hq
      @RandyRhode-yq5hq Месяц назад +12

      @@ManOfAdventure2011 At my age, 74, there is no such thing as "too early". During the 5 days in the province it was basically 5 days of dating for about 5 hours a day. I stayed at her sister's extra building. After 4 days without a hug, she agreed to join me on my way to Oslob to see the Whale Sharks, sharing the same room. After she joined me, it was the opposite of no hugs for 6 weeks.

    • @dukewanders
      @dukewanders Месяц назад +3

      be careful!! It is great you found someone, Congrats. Filipina's are amazing and it sounds like you found one of the many good ones. However, cultural differences and customs take time to navigate and normalize. Her family sounds lovely and the family dynamic is very different than a typical Western family dynamic. Also make sure you have logistics and legal stuff well situated and organized before taking the plunge. Good luck

    • @marchoman1776
      @marchoman1776 Месяц назад +6

      ​@RandyRhode-yq5hq sounds great, especially the 1 month time limit. Time to think afterwards important. Please just remember there is no need to buy a land lot and build a home. If this comes up be firm but just say no. I hope ❤❤ everything works out for you smile be happy. But remember if you want a long run over here here never make your self worth more dead than alive 😅

  • @justwag9750
    @justwag9750 28 дней назад +5

    I loved living in the Philippines. Women on a pedestal.. In Tagalog, its called "under the sayo". It is when the woman has you under her thumb or the literal translation of "under the sayo" is under the skirt. I lived with a girl in the Philippines for 39 of 41 months that I was there. It took several arguments and sarcastic comments for me to realize I needed to set boundaries on money. I gave her about 150 US a month to spend any way she wanted to. Whether she gave it to her family or bought clothes was up to her. Yet, no matter what else happened or emergencies that popped up, that was all the money I was willing to give her. I did pay for her moms power bill one month and that was only because we went by the house and I saw that the power was out. For xmas and he sisters birthday, I did buy those things because the gifts were from both of us. I learned real fast that you will be told about every financial emergency that her family will have come up. Do not fall for that trap.

  • @ehvway
    @ehvway Месяц назад +7

    Yes sir. you are so right about the danger of putting women on a pedestal. Just know your bounderies and expectations and *stick* to it. Call her out for crossing your bounderies or when she disappoints you in any way. She will try to play victim and or gaslight you, but stick to your standards. Walk away if she keeps doing it

  • @SickocrowAU
    @SickocrowAU Месяц назад +34

    For it to last. She HAS TO like you more than you like her. YOU are the prize.
    If you Simp, you're toast.

    • @ferney2936
      @ferney2936 Месяц назад +2

      I feel that women are like cats.......if they recognise that you're bigger than them they naturally rub up against your legs & sit in your lap; if they ever feel that they're bigger than you then to them you are simply prey

  • @TheFox808
    @TheFox808 Месяц назад +6

    Outstanding video Reekay. This should be compulsory viewing for every young man. You just described in 17 minutes what took me 17 years dating in the west to learn.

  • @ericg9092
    @ericg9092 Месяц назад +13

    Great video, Reekay. Wise words indeed.
    This basically puts me back into the mindset I had growing up through my early to mid-20's, and life was simple. Set your standards and enforce your boundaries.
    I look forward to your next video.

  • @chrismoore9997
    @chrismoore9997 Месяц назад +5

    This is good advice. No matter where you live.

  • @geoffb5813
    @geoffb5813 Месяц назад +8

    Good criteria. I am fussy but it’s paid off. I have a gorgeous Filipina who ticks all my boxes and vice versa. She merged into my lane all the way.
    Geoff. 😀

  • @nikotsalis
    @nikotsalis Месяц назад +9

    Very nice video as always. I enjoyed the footage more than the usual AI generated images. Thank you

  • @tryscience
    @tryscience Месяц назад +12

    More excellent advice, thank you Reekay 😎👍

  • @CLCIII
    @CLCIII Месяц назад +3

    More great Reekay advice. I gotta admit, I was raised as a young man to put a woman on a pedestal and did so in all of my very few serious relationships. I'm certainly glad that you brought this character flaw to my attention. Now that I'm aware, if I ever make it to the Philippines, I've got that knowledge to be put to good use. The rest of what you shared I believe that I got a good handle on, but that certainly could be a fatal flaw, and not one I care to have anymore. As Always, May God Bless you and yours! 😇

  • @hassanzorome7497
    @hassanzorome7497 Месяц назад +8

    Excellent point you nailed it all four corners you can be a good guy but absolutely not a nice guy.

  • @kevingonzalez3673
    @kevingonzalez3673 Месяц назад +9

    Truth in any country.

  • @Dillon737
    @Dillon737 Месяц назад +7

    Global knowledge here no matter where your at in the world...

  • @bonzotalonzo9072
    @bonzotalonzo9072 Месяц назад +7

    How did u know my asawa has big ears & a goofy smile ? 🤣 BTW- beginning of vid I started having Alona Beach flashbacks then saw the sand sculpture with the name.

  • @ericb.4358
    @ericb.4358 24 дня назад +2

    An EDUCATED Filipina from a GOOD college with a career would be my FIRST criterion. She should have her own income from her own career. Educated Filipinas ADAPT to many situations better than uneducated Filipinas. Before she was an English teacher my wife had a FULL SCHOLARSHIP to Far Eastern University in Pre-Med School. After completion her family had no money for med school and she came back to the province, went to college there to become an English teacher. SHE IS HIGHLY INTELLIGENT! I really appreciate her for that, among many other of her virtues like generosity and high moral standards. Look for a woman with those attributes.

    • @Lifebeyondthesea
      @Lifebeyondthesea  24 дня назад

      i'm glad that worked out for you. but remember, education or the lack of it is no guarantee of character. otherwise, all attorneys would be honest.
      the other thing to consider is that a woman who has worked that hard to get a degree is not likely to just put it into a drawer and be a stay at home mother. she will want to work and progress in her career. i'm fine with that, it's her choice the life she wants to live.
      however, not all men want a woman working full-time. they want a stay at home wife and mother to the kids. so.. a woman with a degree and career is not the best choice for every man.

  • @justsomeguy2943
    @justsomeguy2943 Месяц назад +8

    Two of the MOST POWERFUL words in ANY relationship:
    STOP and DON'T.
    However, people are who they are and can not change so if someone DOES things you don't like you REALLY SHOULD drop them and move on.
    PS
    They S test because they are FELLING insecure so the question becomes how much time do you want to spend TRYING to make a girl FEEL secure because the way YOU want to make her feel secure and the way she WANTS you to make her feel secure may be very different.

    • @ronrichards6653
      @ronrichards6653 Месяц назад

      Exactly. 💩 tests and bad behavior need to be punished immediately. You are the prize. There are a million women you could have that don't do that.

  • @garyt7232
    @garyt7232 Месяц назад +2

    I wish I heard this before I married her 22 years ago.

  • @HexFlex-ss9rm
    @HexFlex-ss9rm Месяц назад +3

    Preach brother preach , 100% correct. Ya got to know what you want and what you will not tolerate, and that YOU ARE THE PRIZE . ❤. No body likes or respects a simp ! Be a man to get a woman 🎉

  • @niallk9336
    @niallk9336 Месяц назад +2

    I hate cold approaching on the street. I used to hit up retail girls in SM... first off, malls hire cuties. They know cute girls = business. Second off, you know she's at least willing to work. Probably has family - the ones w/o fam are more likely in the clubs, street behavior, etc.
    And I can almost always find something to remark on ("your shoes are cute" is a goto), establish some rapport while shopping or checking out, ... sometimes you can get her # sometimes not. But it's an easy setup to talk to her, tease her about something, ask for her #, and then leave either way. Some chicks need you to shop 2 or 3 times too... just don't go back on purpose / next day etc. (unless it's the corner store). Keep things natural. Get in, get what you want, exchange some verbal spars, get out.

  • @BondservantofYah926
    @BondservantofYah926 Месяц назад +4

    Well said.

  • @whatever7639
    @whatever7639 Месяц назад +4

    Awesome advise as usual !!! Excellent guidance for guys in the West as well !

  • @UncleWobby2024
    @UncleWobby2024 Месяц назад +1

    Excellent advice. I have a gal I brought from Mindanao to stay for two weeks to see if we have that chemistry. We do not and this video definitely helps me draw the line.

  • @catsupchutney
    @catsupchutney Месяц назад +3

    Date a few stunningly beautiful but crazy women and you will realize that this supermodel on probation just as much as as you are during the initial phases of any interaction/dating.

  • @davidcadman4468
    @davidcadman4468 Месяц назад +2

    Baby Boomer born in the 1940's in Britain. Raised with British attitudes from the middle class circa 1900's...
    Almost the same as your first criteria, perhaps more Chivalry oriented.
    I will book mark the video, as I will want to come back to it. Not that I expect to need it, as dating anywhere is out of the question.
    But I would like to add 5 criteria that I have set, since 2000 ad, post divorce.
    Honesty - This is primary in any relationship. IF there is no honesty there can be no relationship.
    Empathy - There has to be shared caring for each other. The Spark as it were, who comes first us or others.
    Acceptance - There are going to be differences, especially overseas, Can we see eye to eye on the differences.
    Respect - Does she respect me and I her. or are we headed into constant conflicts... Drama
    Trust - Can we trust each other, does she allow me to lead, and can I trust her to back me up.

    • @ligafftheindifferent3495
      @ligafftheindifferent3495 Месяц назад

      Chivalry s a rules based form of putting women on a pedestal. It is a bad idea.

  • @Radioman.
    @Radioman. 18 дней назад

    Thank you. And yes, never try to fix anyone.

  • @leg414
    @leg414 Месяц назад +2

    I can honestly say that i give your videos most all "Thumbs Up" here, as they should be MANDATORY for newbies and expats living there to live a productive and good comfortable life...Not one filled with hassles and troubles and messes that could have been totally avoided and eliminated, if one listened to logic and reasoned it out as "Go Or No Go" to situations and people that we would not deal with in our country and scams we would be aware with in the West...But lose all sense//Common and Uncommon there in Asia. And Women are the biggest part of these events that could cause pain and heartache and even financial ruin. Seen it done...Got the T-shirt. Could say more...But keep on trying to warn and get thru to those who will listen..And apply. Peace

  • @adamtrezack5549
    @adamtrezack5549 18 дней назад

    That is the best advice you can give. Well said

  • @SuperSupersoda
    @SuperSupersoda Месяц назад +4

    It's a psychological feedback loop. If you want to find out how much a guy puts women on a pedestal, ask him for the results of the first five women he asked on a date. Men who get rejected put women on a pedestal because rejection enhances the scarcity mindset. You get rejected often enough and a beautiful women isn't a human being anymore, she's a member of an entirely different species in that guy's mind.
    I was at anime expo in LA last weekend and there were a lot of women there with their boyfriends, but there were also a lot of attractive women who were there with their friends. Despite wanting to approach, I never did the entire four days because cold approaching women in public is outlawed in the west. You can't do it anymore, and I saw so many guys who would make great boyfriend or husband material who were at a show with plenty of attractive women and no one was talking to each other, even though by being at a convention, there was plenty of shared interest. The way men and women interact is completely and totally broken in America.

    • @taras3702
      @taras3702 Месяц назад

      That is by design. Men and women have been and still are being manipulated to regard one another as enemies in the West.

  • @soulflame5635
    @soulflame5635 Месяц назад +1

    Good advice - about behaviors and programming of society.

  • @johnsranchlife8634
    @johnsranchlife8634 Месяц назад

    Great advice,
    I just spent 10 months with a woman here in the United States. Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. I’m glad I took your advice and was waiting at least a year.

  • @pete531
    @pete531 Месяц назад

    I realized how badly conditioned i am when i went to thailand, life changing experience. and i am from serbia, not even close to usa

  • @BondservantofYah926
    @BondservantofYah926 Месяц назад +2

    Good information

  • @patrickconroy8729
    @patrickconroy8729 Месяц назад +1

    Good stuff, thanks. Find things in common, that is the key, plus mutual respect

  • @eoinodunlaing4391
    @eoinodunlaing4391 17 дней назад +1

    Top stuff -Thank you!

  • @wsrutledge
    @wsrutledge Месяц назад

    Absolutely excellent advice, sir.

  • @dawidj.vanhuffel8217
    @dawidj.vanhuffel8217 16 дней назад +1

    Thanks for the good advice 👍 😊

  • @SuccessiveApproximations-Intl
    @SuccessiveApproximations-Intl Месяц назад +1

    Great video, thanks so much, Reekay! I really appreciate your insights, and agree with about 95% them. There's a LOT of value in your content.... most things that will save me money and/or grief, so I feel good about supporting you. You da man!!

    • @Lifebeyondthesea
      @Lifebeyondthesea  Месяц назад

      thanks for the support, i appreciate the encouragement. :)

  • @daviddixon3154
    @daviddixon3154 Месяц назад +1

    Good to see you. I liked the video overlay.

  • @tw8032
    @tw8032 27 дней назад +1

    Brilliant insight. I have noticed a few vloggers there that appear to have made some of these mistakes.

  • @bigrikstube
    @bigrikstube 29 дней назад +1

    I really like your write what you want and, mostly, stick to it. If you are young it helps you define what behavior you'll find an absolute no and some flexibilty in other areas. Oh, let's remember, plastic surgery is always an option. 😂

  • @themacker894
    @themacker894 Месяц назад +1

    Good advice. Great scenery. Very relaxing. Thanks!

  • @turboman8522
    @turboman8522 28 дней назад

    Thank you ,all good advice 😊

  • @pete531
    @pete531 Месяц назад

    thank you, i will improve the plan that i have writen and add the desirable character traits

  • @SilverFalcon460
    @SilverFalcon460 Месяц назад +1

    Instant gratification...leads down a VERY bad path....USUALLY!

  • @JeffMorrisonAdventures
    @JeffMorrisonAdventures Месяц назад

    I like your style. Bell offically hit.

  • @FrankieMarksonher
    @FrankieMarksonher Месяц назад +1

    All true facts 100%

  • @hardmanst
    @hardmanst Месяц назад +2

    Thanks for another great video

  • @00Dahusalah2
    @00Dahusalah2 Месяц назад

    I've been watching you for a bit now.
    I truly respect and appreciate your advice and opinions.
    Thanks for taking the time to post this content.
    Many blessings to you and yours Bro!!!
    King Nine

  • @gerrywilmering6909
    @gerrywilmering6909 Месяц назад

    Once again, thank you for your clever insight and advice

  • @USA_to_Asia_in_2024
    @USA_to_Asia_in_2024 Месяц назад

    You're soooooo correct sir on these points.
    Thank you.

  • @XxxAoBaa-mg2xm
    @XxxAoBaa-mg2xm 15 дней назад

    Excellent video

  • @DouglasStewart-p5u
    @DouglasStewart-p5u Месяц назад

    Excellent advice. Thanks for reminding me.

  • @TENNESSEE.TRANSPARENCY
    @TENNESSEE.TRANSPARENCY 24 дня назад +1

    I agree but in America men are put in prison anytime a man doesn't do what a lying woman says

  • @gobfranklin6759
    @gobfranklin6759 Месяц назад

    Really appreciate your perspective!

  • @waltgreen8759
    @waltgreen8759 Месяц назад +1

    excellent advice

  • @smashy_smasherton
    @smashy_smasherton Месяц назад +2

    Just notice: guys who appear to gain and grow good, long-lasting relationships find women who others might not find very attractive or only average, but when you see them together, her personality and attitude brings the spark that becomes good relationship glue.
    Sure, a 65-year old might find a beautiful 20-year old but chances are, they have nothing to talk about…

  • @edgarwangsmo6
    @edgarwangsmo6 28 дней назад

    Stay Single ❤

  • @rodhurst5831
    @rodhurst5831 Месяц назад

    I only pedestalized drop dead gorgeous 😂 but I’m solid on the rest of the points. 👍

  • @gahmivolka
    @gahmivolka Месяц назад

    Rule 4 definitely circles back around to rule 1

  • @howardmallisonii503
    @howardmallisonii503 Месяц назад

    About 2:22: That is a fantastic sand castle!

  • @donaldgarrett6577
    @donaldgarrett6577 Месяц назад

    These things show you dated in the States a lot as well . They are beginner mistakes , they apply on women anywhere . I'm 70 and dance so meet lots of women . They are different ages and even if they are drop dead gorgeous I don't get crazy . I know what I want and do not want , very important to be happy together...😎

  • @ryanorr3717
    @ryanorr3717 Месяц назад

    Reekay, please consider starting another channel that is not country specific that is dedicated solely to dating advice. This as well as a few of your other videos contain great advice that applies no matter where you are in the world.

    • @Lifebeyondthesea
      @Lifebeyondthesea  Месяц назад

      i have two other channels already that i barely have time for. doing another 3rd would just never get off the ground.

  • @olasther3560
    @olasther3560 Месяц назад +2

    Wake up simps!!

  • @ligafftheindifferent3495
    @ligafftheindifferent3495 Месяц назад +1

    I would feel sorry for the guys who bought into the idea that women should be put on a pedestal, but i figured it out LONG ago, so really, if they didn't figure it out, it is because they are either too stupid or too malleable to think on their own.
    4:21 Your assessment of why men freeze up with women is wrong. It is not about them being on a pedestal. The simple truth is that rejection is painful. Some guys get a thick skin and are not fazed anymore, but a lot of men, especially ones who were not necessarily a big hit with the ladies, are still fearful of rejection. They know it won't actually harm them, but the fear is real and raw and related to the fear of not being seen as worthy by any woman. This is really not the same thing as putting women on a pedestal. Guys do get prone to expecting rejection and that makes it harder also. For guys like us, even starting a simple conversation is really tough because we are dealing with some intense emotions that drain our energy away from engaging and away from feeling comfortable and away from even thinking of something to say. Now clearly the level of fear varies from man to man, but I do think it is the primary issue. Take away the fear and most guys really wouldn't care if some random woman deems him unworthy. Besides, we all know that in the Philippines, our value is much higher and rejection is far less likely, but the FEAR is not connected to our logic centers, so it is still quite powerful even if it is not rational. It is like being very close to a caged tiger. You know you are safe, but that fear is still there.

  • @richarddods221
    @richarddods221 Месяц назад +1

    To find and keep a traditional woman, be a traditional man.
    Not one following the feminist / movie propaganda. Lots of us have lots to unlearn 😉

  • @ripwff7502
    @ripwff7502 Месяц назад

    The songwriter says put the woman on a pedestal. Songwriter, do you put any women on a pedestal. NEVER. Who controls who gets famous and what we hear and see in the masses? THINK.

  • @jefferywise1906
    @jefferywise1906 Месяц назад +2

    To a degree we are informed by stories movies and songs, that women are and should be tested as “angels” and put on a pedestal. This simply is not true.
    Women are people same as men. Being people men and women are not perfect. Far from in many cases. Mental and emotional issues,and basic life philosophy make everyone unique and if you will, sit on a spectrum. Most people fit in the middle and get along good enough to not be a problem. Others are overly sensitive or some hard as rocks. Some have anger issues some would rob you blind without a second thought. We know these people exist and some hide it so well you don’t see it until it’s to late to avoid some sort of impact from them.
    Like Jesus said,, “There are none perfect, No not one”.

  • @jessnevares7861
    @jessnevares7861 Месяц назад +1

    The men that you are describing are called SIMPS.
    Good video. 😢

  • @howardmallisonii503
    @howardmallisonii503 Месяц назад

    About 12:29: Women play the "I can fix that" game. Guys have too much stuff to do to play that game.

  • @jeffwilliams7054
    @jeffwilliams7054 Месяц назад +1

    good quality video, great advice, ty