Jerma Streams - Drug Dealer Simulator

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  • Опубликовано: 1 фев 2025

Комментарии • 484

  • @JermaStreamArchive
    @JermaStreamArchive  4 года назад +393

    Game Starts 4:53
    1st Brb Ends 2:54:42
    2nd Brb Ends 4:49:58

  • @spookssnatchley780
    @spookssnatchley780 4 года назад +3324

    Nobody thanks the archive guy for all their hard work. Thanks archive guy, you’re doing a wonderful job.

    • @Slimurgical
      @Slimurgical 4 года назад +202

      John Archive is good people.

    • @Theflavorisasleep
      @Theflavorisasleep 4 года назад +48

      I like the video to thank them

    • @rustroomofdoom
      @rustroomofdoom 4 года назад +71

      I was going to say- I don't think we thank him enough because we don't have a name for him/them, like John Fullsauce.

    • @jackpoll8782
      @jackpoll8782 4 года назад +25

      yeah can we get a clap goin

    • @SexySkeletons69
      @SexySkeletons69 4 года назад +75

      @@rustroomofdoom Jerm Fullarchive

  • @bazboyd44
    @bazboyd44 4 года назад +952

    Failing casino owner resorts to selling crack to fuel funko pop and gambling addiction

  • @Daemon4
    @Daemon4 2 года назад +486

    why is jerma so good at making me want to buy the game just to prove i can do it better

    • @lessthanimpressive1323
      @lessthanimpressive1323 Год назад +79

      Just like those mobile ads!

    • @shrimpchip37
      @shrimpchip37 Год назад +5

      @@lessthanimpressive1323real

    • @beanbagmcbean4251
      @beanbagmcbean4251 Год назад +6

      This is how he makes his money. Too bad he GAMBLES it all away

    • @DigitalEWhore
      @DigitalEWhore Год назад +4

      I bought barnfinders, played it for 1 hr 50 min and returned it just to prove to myself that I could

    • @goosiegoose2005
      @goosiegoose2005 Год назад +2

      I bought papa’s freezaria deluxe because of him lmao

  • @kenetickups6146
    @kenetickups6146 4 года назад +814

    "Am I gonna hurt people" Jerma asks about mixing baking supplies into the deadly drugs he's been pedalling

    • @InVinoVeratas
      @InVinoVeratas 3 года назад +50

      The answer to this is _"yes",_ regardless if he did or didn't step on the product.

    • @HaplessOne
      @HaplessOne 2 года назад +10

      Baking soda I got baking soda

    • @KrackDaddy
      @KrackDaddy 2 года назад +7

      Dry rub

    • @Chillerll
      @Chillerll Год назад +11

      Baking bad

    • @Somedudeguywhat
      @Somedudeguywhat Год назад +2

      Oh hey kups it's been awhile since I've seen you

  • @Omnisalad
    @Omnisalad 4 года назад +729

    I think Vegas has been a bad influence on Jerma. He's already got a crippling gambling addiction, now he's dealing drugs to fuel his need for greed.

    • @Omnisalad
      @Omnisalad 4 года назад +18

      @Grym God, what have we done to this tiny man's soul?

    • @gordonf5553
      @gordonf5553 4 года назад +5

      He could just take a Fixer

    • @Johnson-br2lw
      @Johnson-br2lw 4 года назад +1

      @@gordonf5553 are fixers even real?

    • @DragonTamer31K
      @DragonTamer31K 3 года назад

      @@Johnson-br2lw 1 year late but yes and I imagine low end rappers still use them alot

    • @Johnson-br2lw
      @Johnson-br2lw 3 года назад +1

      @@DragonTamer31K Jesus fuck, this was a year ago?

  • @prezzo4991
    @prezzo4991 4 года назад +209

    Local streamer gets entire town addicted to baking soda.

  • @jasperh1495
    @jasperh1495 4 года назад +535

    Jerma turns to selling drugs because the bits aren't enough to fund his Funko Pop addiction

    • @Icecastles4000
      @Icecastles4000 4 года назад +14

      NEED MORE QURIKY FUNKO POPS

    • @ArtsyKnox25
      @ArtsyKnox25 Год назад +3

      ​@@Icecastles4000 I can hear jerma just saying this in one of his memey voices and now I want that irl.

  • @Dom9606
    @Dom9606 4 года назад +572

    Janky simulator game built in the unity engine? 6 hour Jerma stream? Count me in.

    • @morganhalle9905
      @morganhalle9905 4 года назад +71

      It's such a good combo, isn't it

    • @Tris70
      @Tris70 4 года назад +66

      For a simulator though, I have seen a lot more jank in other simulators

    • @user-md3is4dq2d
      @user-md3is4dq2d 4 года назад +73

      It's really strange, but it seems like it's pretty feature packed. There's voice acting ffs

    • @Nucknyan
      @Nucknyan 3 года назад +40

      It's so weirdly UN-janky, it's got voice acting and a fairly sizeable map with lots of set dressing??? This simulator has no right being this good

    • @ilikecats1234h
      @ilikecats1234h 2 года назад +7

      Its built in Unreal Engine

  • @Goozeeeee
    @Goozeeeee 4 года назад +438

    Jerma finding his backpack at 3:04:08 after having lost it an hour earlier was a great moment.

  • @imperialguard451
    @imperialguard451 4 года назад +549

    watching these vods makes me realize that either my spacial awareness is incredible or jermas is incredibly awful and im leaning towards the latter

  • @kut_mutt
    @kut_mutt 4 года назад +261

    3:53:51 absolutely the best moment of the stream. Jerma just working away silently like some crazed savant, doling out meat rub laced with coke. Fucking holy shit I'm dying

  • @gabtype
    @gabtype 4 года назад +394

    The "x streamer does y" jokes basically write themselves this time

    • @SamsterClone
      @SamsterClone 4 года назад +23

      nice twin peaks owl cave pfp

    • @heresRIPLEY
      @heresRIPLEY 4 года назад +86

      SMALL-STATURED CLINICALLY INSANE streamer does COCAINE OFF A HOOKER’S LEFT BUTT CHEEK

  • @Toactwithoutthinking
    @Toactwithoutthinking 4 года назад +335

    Its okay Jerma, I play 40k so I understand the need to hustle for plastic crack

  • @ItsNobleSavage
    @ItsNobleSavage 4 года назад +157

    Buys amphetamine from jerma
    Jerma: have a nice day

  • @g4man41
    @g4man41 4 года назад +240

    3:53:40 that music really does line up perfectly. You can tell how excited this made him
    By the by that track is Danny Elfman's Breakfast Machine from Peewee Herman. Elfman also produced the soundtracks for BeatleJuice

    • @Buddy_Dave
      @Buddy_Dave 4 года назад +5

      Do you know what music that was

    • @g4man41
      @g4man41 4 года назад +20

      @@Buddy_Dave Danny Elfman Breakfast Machine

    • @lilshpee2550
      @lilshpee2550 4 года назад +10

      My fav part of the whole stream, then again not saying much considering my fav part is the whole stream

    • @jackiechan9689
      @jackiechan9689 4 года назад +21

      Jerma seems to like Danny Elfman scores a lot. He used the beetle juice theme twice two years apart.

    • @mankulon790
      @mankulon790 3 года назад +5

      And basically every other tim burton movie lol

  • @5hort3
    @5hort3 4 года назад +221

    Game actually starts 14:23

  • @dablux3892
    @dablux3892 4 года назад +126

    Jerma: My mic is very good
    Jerma one minute later: my mic is defying reality and I don't know anything

    • @KingofGermanic
      @KingofGermanic 2 года назад +6

      I literally do not understand what he was going on about the whole time. He spent like 5 minutes fiddling with audio and did nothing

    • @justdrop
      @justdrop 2 года назад +5

      @@KingofGermanic Nobody does, that's what makes it a Jerma stream.

  • @BananaPhoPhilly
    @BananaPhoPhilly 4 года назад +167

    Welp, I looked it up. And apparently Jerma is 100% correct about the Hershey bar thing. The FDA allows a certain amount of insect remains because it is "statistically impossible" to eliminate every possible insect from getting into the food. Oh boy

    • @cosseybomb
      @cosseybomb 4 года назад +59

      Extra protein baby

    • @WhayYay
      @WhayYay 3 года назад +28

      People eat insects all over the world

    • @PismotHello
      @PismotHello 2 года назад

      @@RatBürgerSk8 thats fr

    • @AbuHajarAlBugatti
      @AbuHajarAlBugatti Год назад

      ​@@WhayYayyeah poor third world people

    • @katzea.a7880
      @katzea.a7880 Год назад +19

      @horriblepancake If you eat fruits you already did countless times

  • @stevespike8208
    @stevespike8208 2 года назад +29

    I love jerma streams. I can always count on watching a settings UI for 10 minutes straight

  • @MrCrazyGameGuy
    @MrCrazyGameGuy 3 года назад +62

    Sometimes I like to come back to this and imagine Jerma sitting on the street corner offering people his dry rub.

  • @Sube-Tube
    @Sube-Tube 2 года назад +45

    4:11:47 "alright then, beat it"
    "Yeah, you too"
    Now THATS good dialogue

  • @theworstmaid
    @theworstmaid 4 года назад +77

    "from now on i'm your daddy, your boss, and your wife"
    "okay :D"

  • @captainsancho1237
    @captainsancho1237 4 года назад +98

    Jerma getting sad about no one calling or texting him is fucking priceless!

    • @user-rg7uz8of9r
      @user-rg7uz8of9r Год назад +14

      i'm glad you wring out some twisted joy from his sadness

    • @zeronxepher4167
      @zeronxepher4167 11 месяцев назад

      This is truly a schadenfreude moment.

  • @Brian-er7py
    @Brian-er7py 4 года назад +61

    "im just gonna walk outside with a bag of dry-rub and put my hands up in the air, pay a hundred dollars and go to jail just for it to be tomorrow"

  • @strawberrylemonadelioness
    @strawberrylemonadelioness 2 года назад +35

    Jerma would probably be so anxious if he was a drug dealer in real life. He'd probably get caught so fast

  • @byeheaven
    @byeheaven 2 года назад +30

    this is by far the best irl stream yet

  • @zacheryeckard3051
    @zacheryeckard3051 4 года назад +88

    "Uh sir... wouldn't that already be mashed potatoes, then?"
    "Yeah... it would be."
    *slapslapslapslap*
    "He's runnin'!"
    Actually made me lose it. Holy shit. Shortly after 2:37:30

  • @mycoolhandgiveit
    @mycoolhandgiveit 4 года назад +126

    SMALL "man" crushes embarrassing "Funko" figurines into METH

  • @TheElectricRaichu
    @TheElectricRaichu 3 года назад +39

    7:47 The timing for that was extremely on point and creepy.

  • @ThatOneBlackGuy
    @ThatOneBlackGuy Год назад +7

    I hope this channel remains forever, especially once Jerma leaves. It is insane to think its been 4 years, and will prob watch again at the 10 year mark with my newborns... oh man this shit is wild, I hope future me see this - hey bro! Keep killing it! You rock! Do not stop enjoying Jerma!

    • @NightTimeDay
      @NightTimeDay 10 дней назад

      I don't think you should let kids watch this omg

  • @christian_heretic
    @christian_heretic 2 года назад +31

    Jerma mixing drugs to the peewee Herman music
    Is so funny

    • @mikotoh
      @mikotoh Год назад +1

      THIS... IS CRACK

  • @A.W.GundamXCX
    @A.W.GundamXCX 3 года назад +38

    Streamer encourages his adoring fans to do whip-its

  • @rippedlampshade
    @rippedlampshade 4 года назад +43

    Damn the closure of all Vegas Casinos have really gotten to him.

  • @neilgoldberg547
    @neilgoldberg547 4 года назад +45

    "I can put 2 or 3 bug legs in my cocaine or make the mix 50% baking soda". lol Jerma out here curing heartburn and messing over his customers.

  • @strongxhands
    @strongxhands 4 года назад +44

    Jerma’s streams are my substance of choice for quarantine

  • @TylerNohbuddy
    @TylerNohbuddy 2 года назад +38

    im with jerma on this one at 1:32:29 how have most of you NOT done that?

  • @Iwontgohomewithoutya
    @Iwontgohomewithoutya 4 года назад +26

    sugar, salt and aggravated assault

  • @_Bungus
    @_Bungus Год назад +6

    Watching this stream for the first time 2 years ago and seeing Jerma sell "dry rub" to people for hours made me think of the *wet* rub we used to use for pulled pork back home, which stirred me to push aside the crippling depression I had at the time long enough to use a bunch of my mom's recipes to prepare a whole barbecue at my dorm for all my friends.
    Good memory of mine, and I have Jerma's cheap drugs to thank.

  • @cyoagamebooker5479
    @cyoagamebooker5479 4 года назад +56

    It wouldn't be a Jerma stream without weird technical problems.

  • @zimmyx2y833
    @zimmyx2y833 4 года назад +80

    This is Jerma hinting about what his next career choice will be

    • @sodaunderthesink9014
      @sodaunderthesink9014 4 года назад +14

      i wish jerma was my drug dealer

    • @zimmyx2y833
      @zimmyx2y833 4 года назад +16

      You mean he’s NOT selling you that new new new mix? Wow you’re missing out

    • @prezzo4991
      @prezzo4991 4 года назад +6

      Mr Beaner ha, the new new new new new new new new bbcuman mix is the best one. Can’t believe you aren’t buying it.

  • @senpaiofalltrades4967
    @senpaiofalltrades4967 3 года назад +13

    This stream is what introduced me to jerma

  • @TeriyakiTakeout
    @TeriyakiTakeout 4 года назад +42

    I’ve been just crackin these on in the background during finals week and it’s quite nice

    • @bazboyd44
      @bazboyd44 4 года назад +8

      Youre gonna rock it!

    • @redpractition
      @redpractition 4 года назад +8

      kick some ass!

    • @FrickGuyy
      @FrickGuyy 4 года назад +8

      you can do it brother!

    • @Beardwhip
      @Beardwhip 4 года назад +7

      Order some amphetamine!

  • @Whatsuppbuddies
    @Whatsuppbuddies 4 года назад +68

    Jerma seems to be actually really good at this game. Almost like there's some sort of innate natural talent for the trade?

  • @chickenrice2484
    @chickenrice2484 Год назад +7

    just had the worst sleep paralysis experience and woke up to this stream. thanks jerma

    • @connorw3166
      @connorw3166 Год назад +9

      LMAO i had sleep paralysis to his papas freezeria stream like 2 days ago. i was stuck and being tormented but faintly heard him talking about syrup in the background.

  • @eligryba1041
    @eligryba1041 4 года назад +6

    Thank you archive guy! We appreciate you!! 💖

  • @BlackBars1993
    @BlackBars1993 4 года назад +17

    20:00 I love how bird got stuck near that quote

  • @stjebvnelabjomskie4417
    @stjebvnelabjomskie4417 4 года назад +81

    4:34:54
    "keep it in the closet until people like you again" is something I tell myself daily

    • @grelkie
      @grelkie 4 года назад +19

      :(

    • @studhouser6969
      @studhouser6969 4 года назад +14

      If only everyone had your modesty

    • @monocandy
      @monocandy 4 года назад +40

      @@studhouser6969 yikes

  • @Fren69420
    @Fren69420 4 года назад +23

    Really, no one gunna mention that 19:50, the stuck bird part, the sign says "With god on your side, there are no obstacles?" Jerma framed it perfectly too.

  • @kaitlin9288
    @kaitlin9288 Год назад +3

    Jerma hitting the yoinky sploinky while delivering drugs to the Pee Wee Herman soundtrack is my favourite part of this stream

  • @sevenhundred77_
    @sevenhundred77_ 4 года назад +8

    Archive guy is my hero i love you archive guy

  • @FLUING
    @FLUING 4 года назад +41

    Loving the 50 ads at the start

    • @rrai1999
      @rrai1999 4 года назад +4

      adblock

    • @arachanine
      @arachanine 4 года назад +3

      @@rrai1999 RUclips mobile

    • @rrai1999
      @rrai1999 4 года назад +3

      @@arachanine Install adblock on your device. Just use your browser and not the shitty app.

    • @fokego956
      @fokego956 4 года назад +16

      @@rrai1999 do you know how bad browser RUclips is

    • @whythehecknot5038
      @whythehecknot5038 4 года назад +5

      @@rrai1999 bitch the browser is shit, dont diss the app like that

  • @Jemis_Bond
    @Jemis_Bond 3 года назад +2

    Love this archive channel thank you :)

  • @uncledoctor6920
    @uncledoctor6920 4 года назад +11

    "Did I get respect for getting arrested or anything?"

  • @rossmanmagnus
    @rossmanmagnus 2 года назад +2

    Thanks a lot archive

  • @IsNoJoke
    @IsNoJoke 4 года назад +21

    Did he leave Leon hanging the entire stream? Its been like an hour and a half and he never answered his message for weed

  • @jamesday8361
    @jamesday8361 2 года назад +7

    Jerma sold my 13 year old cousin smart boosters and now he walks with a limp

  • @ilalighieri
    @ilalighieri 4 года назад +20

    05:01:41 giving me flashbacks to the "my summer car" stream.

  • @HardBloodNelza
    @HardBloodNelza Год назад +5

    This is just jerma's real actual life

  • @virgilthunes5891
    @virgilthunes5891 4 года назад +22

    Can’t wait to see the Peewee Herman bit in the best of 2020 vid

  • @johnfreeman9349
    @johnfreeman9349 4 года назад +9

    local streamer does whippets on stream

  • @TheHogfatherInvades
    @TheHogfatherInvades Год назад +3

    Should have gotten massive respect points for doing a drug deal while being chased by the police

  • @gulf_dado_apoc
    @gulf_dado_apoc 4 года назад +9

    1:31:06 Who's this? A new drug client? Ah, I - uh, I gotta spray paint.

  • @olyophogrific
    @olyophogrific Год назад +1

    i love searching jerma drug dealer

  • @TheBlueScroom
    @TheBlueScroom 11 часов назад

    Thank you, John Archive.

  • @Skeletonizer1200
    @Skeletonizer1200 4 года назад +58

    Crazy Tyrion Lannister height-alike cooks meth on STREAM [he gets arrested]

  • @roboto2152
    @roboto2152 4 года назад +8

    I think i just witnessed a drug deal, 2:30 am I’m just cleaning my face and I see a car on my dry ass street pull up, go to the side, and throw out a newspaper roll like package that sounded heavy when it landed, so I’m gonna stake that out and I’ll update if anything happens in the future.

  • @FloyDJode
    @FloyDJode 4 года назад +7

    When a Suburban mid-50's grandpa tries to make a anti-drug campaign - The game: Featuring 10 dollar grams of meth

    • @aswiftshift5229
      @aswiftshift5229 4 года назад +1

      50's grandpa tries to scare kids out of doing drugs becomes drug lord instead

  • @LuluTheCorgi
    @LuluTheCorgi 4 года назад +46

    Why does Jerma NEVER read the tutorials, watching him try to package the drugs was awful

  • @john_dillermand
    @john_dillermand 3 года назад +8

    3:52:00 Jerma is unable to satisfy his customer and is forced to go back to the lab again.

  • @edgarzone
    @edgarzone 4 года назад +4

    Man can you imagine receiving this voicemail

  • @ChanceKearns
    @ChanceKearns 3 года назад +5

    According to ABC News, the average chocolate bar contains eight insect parts. Anything less than 60 insect pieces per 100 grams of chocolate (two chocolate bars' worth) is deemed safe for consumption by the Food and Drug Administration. Allergists say most foods contain natural contaminants. {APRIL 2, 2012 NBC NEWS}

  • @decm8
    @decm8 3 года назад +4

    I cant believe no one in jermas chat has done the cream thing

  • @Fentmaxxerfinalboss
    @Fentmaxxerfinalboss 3 года назад +7

    I'd like to humbly invite you to this evening's tasting of various black market narcotics

  • @lusciouslunk
    @lusciouslunk 2 года назад +3

    God bless the archive guy

    • @aturchomicz821
      @aturchomicz821 Год назад

      What a weird comment, do yall watch that many creators who dont archive everything??

    • @lusciouslunk
      @lusciouslunk Год назад +2

      @@aturchomicz821man fuck you for judging my comment, if you were a real jerma fan you’d know

  • @namepending5620
    @namepending5620 4 года назад +6

    Drug stranding starring Norman weedus

  • @johnsalchichon777
    @johnsalchichon777 3 года назад +9

    DERANGED STREAMER resorts to DRUG SELLING to Fix His HUMONGUS DEBT PROBLEM

  • @easytos
    @easytos 4 года назад +8

    Uploading this on 4/20. Nice.

  • @wolfblade019
    @wolfblade019 4 года назад +18

    Why does this seem like an actually fun game

  • @sna1466
    @sna1466 4 года назад +2

    The amount of early ads in this video is like a machine gun burst

  • @breadtm1044
    @breadtm1044 4 года назад +32

    3:53:40

    • @MrMondaysNoon
      @MrMondaysNoon 4 года назад +1

      what is this track

    • @jackravvit5426
      @jackravvit5426 4 года назад +6

      @@MrMondaysNoon danny elfman - breakfast machine

  • @InVinoVeratas
    @InVinoVeratas 3 года назад +2

    Burnt out McChicken Streamer resorts to dealing Salt and Sugar dry rub.

  • @Peroxide-Mark
    @Peroxide-Mark 4 года назад +14

    lmao jermas chat not knowing what speed is

    • @Hi_Just_Fred
      @Hi_Just_Fred 4 года назад +3

      What a bunch of snot dribbling babies, bet they were shitting their pants the entire stream.

  • @martingarricks6209
    @martingarricks6209 4 года назад +13

    Where’s the part when Jermaine pitches his voice up to sound like a girl

  • @eligryba1041
    @eligryba1041 Год назад +1

    THANK YOU ACHIVE PERSON ❤

  • @MegaPiguy314
    @MegaPiguy314 4 года назад +14

    Uploaded 4/20/20
    Nice.

  • @flayerthehatebound8920
    @flayerthehatebound8920 3 года назад +3

    I think Father Michael from AI Dungeon shows up sometimes in this one. Also the Power Crack girls is amazing

  • @AiOinc1
    @AiOinc1 Год назад +4

    jerma, we have to cook

  • @Austinuztantine
    @Austinuztantine 3 года назад +7

    1:29:08 The moment chat frothed at the mouth cuz they saw feet...

  • @memomorph5375
    @memomorph5375 3 года назад +1

    Thanks archiver person!

  • @lukedeets5016
    @lukedeets5016 4 года назад +10

    This game reminds me of high school.

    • @InVinoVeratas
      @InVinoVeratas 3 года назад +5

      especially since he's dealing in grams, not ounces.

  • @brahmomento3189
    @brahmomento3189 4 года назад +14

    3:53:20 best part of this stream tbh

  • @drawter3592
    @drawter3592 2 года назад +3

    Mr Greenz has to pay off his debt somehow

  • @littlecatking
    @littlecatking 3 года назад +3

    jermas used to buying crack but not selling crack

  • @edvardgrikis2455
    @edvardgrikis2455 4 года назад +12

    The people who disliked this video are narcs

  • @wawa6711
    @wawa6711 4 года назад +7

    3:04:12 triumphant moment

  • @goosiegoose2005
    @goosiegoose2005 Год назад +1

    the entire bit from 3:53:41 to 3:55:29 had me crying

  • @LuluTheCorgi
    @LuluTheCorgi 4 года назад +26

    This game is so unrealistic, he didnt get shot 12 times in the back once.

  • @noirman345
    @noirman345 4 года назад +17

    THE CRACK GIRLS!

  • @dinonatorful
    @dinonatorful 4 года назад +69

    twitch be like
    violent movie footage 🤚😠
    6 hours of drug dealing 😏👉

    • @groove4528
      @groove4528 4 года назад +7

      i know ur joking but honestly i see some movie kills on youtube that make me go “damn, on youtube even?”

    • @btdforever9389
      @btdforever9389 3 года назад

      @@groove4528 cringe