Lies Narcissists Tell Themselves

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  • Опубликовано: 20 май 2024
  • Because they are so committed to their carefully crafted false self, narcissists will lie easily and often.
    Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his RUclips channel, his videos have received more than 110 million views.
    Join the Team Healthy community HERE: survivingnarcissism.tv/subscr...
    Check out videos, articles, quizzes, and more at our website: survivingnarcissism.tv
    #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticmindgames #control #controlling #gaslighting #gaslighter

Комментарии • 131

  • @tenningale
    @tenningale 12 дней назад +60

    I can't stand how narcs weaponize everything against you - personal information, how you look, basic emotions, anything other than a monotone voice, food choices/the fact that I like to eat healthy...
    One time I came back from the gym on a hot day and my cheeks were slightly flushed, and they're like... "why is your face breaking out?" Like... what....??
    They're such bullies.

    • @maryl8539
      @maryl8539 12 дней назад +11

      My sister made a point of mocking me for making better food choices. She said, “well, I guess we’re eating vegetables now, right?” I just don’t get all of the judgment about everything. And yet she goes on about how she hopes that I don’t hate her and comments that she wants to continue to be “friends.” It is so crazy making.

    • @jazzsoul1695
      @jazzsoul1695 12 дней назад +12

      They put banana peels on the dancefloor for you to slip and fall.

    • @DesertlizzyThe
      @DesertlizzyThe 12 дней назад

      Narcs are bazaar & dont truly see themselves. Skin deep.
      No contemplation, no retrospect or introspect.

    • @eco1937
      @eco1937 12 дней назад +5

      YES! 100%! He used to ask me when I came out of the shower, "What have yoi done to your face?" because it was a bit red (sensitive skin). Every. Single. Time. It used to make me so mad.

    • @melissahale6645
      @melissahale6645 12 дней назад +4

      Omg so true! I didn’t see it like this at first but the cumulative impact on me over the years! Geez! He would nitpick on anything and everything! He had to because it was just his way. He will never be happy with things because he can’t be. O well too bad for him I guess!

  • @wg8517
    @wg8517 12 дней назад +19

    They think they are always right. They cant stand to ever be wrong. Even when they are wrong 😒

  • @BaraSchmidt
    @BaraSchmidt 12 дней назад +24

    The biggest lie? That they are right and we are wrong! Stay Healthy! Thank you Dr C!!

    • @ptrblz
      @ptrblz 11 дней назад

      Yes, they are what Bible calls the fools

  • @rossanderson5243
    @rossanderson5243 12 дней назад +18

    We definitely cannot rely on them for emotional security. They can lead victims into finding emotional security in the wrong places as in sexual habits, device habits, eating habits and other habits.
    Hope you can guide people away from the narcissist emotional insecurity Dr Carter.

    • @ptrblz
      @ptrblz 11 дней назад

      That is so true, evil a*holes

  • @Hatbox948
    @Hatbox948 12 дней назад +9

    My nex considered himself a "nice guy". He wasn't. What I didn't understand was how he could maintain his fake self around other's, but always let loose Mr. Real Mean Man around me. The put downs, temper tantrums, refusal to help with simplest household chores, name calling, silent treatment, etc., was exhausting to deal with daily.

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 11 дней назад

      He had you already. You were his plaything. Those other people were being deceived. The narc seeks to make all inhabitants of the Earth their playthings. He'll do the same to them as he did to you, if the opportunity presents itself. They are snakes always lying in wait to strike.

    • @kitkat615
      @kitkat615 11 дней назад +1

      That all sounds sooooo earily familiar!! ❤❤❤ all heart and healing to you my dear

  • @sharoneh8929
    @sharoneh8929 12 дней назад +19

    The the delusions of a narcissist are so prevalent in today society. You need to be empowered to act in your own best interests ✅.

  • @Watchingonthewall24
    @Watchingonthewall24 12 дней назад +22

    This is exactly what I experienced. I was told I need to take direction from him because he knows better how to do (fill in the blank) 😳😵‍💫

  • @makelifematter1896
    @makelifematter1896 12 дней назад +13

    Dr. Carter is an Angel on earth healing ♥

  • @amandaliverpool3374
    @amandaliverpool3374 12 дней назад +14

    The part that gets me is ' no offence ' 🙄
    Plenty taken 😂

  • @sheilajac
    @sheilajac 12 дней назад +19

    i'm LOVING your shorts, dr. c! excellent for sharing on twitter where the narc stalks me

  • @yukio_saito
    @yukio_saito 12 дней назад +8

    They don't have an anger issue because they don't deal with it. They just spread it everywhere.

    • @An-mei
      @An-mei 12 дней назад +2

      By breaking things

    • @pugnasilvia943
      @pugnasilvia943 12 дней назад +2

      And people... ​@@An-mei

    • @An-mei
      @An-mei 12 дней назад +1

      @@pugnasilvia943 Yes

    • @yukio_saito
      @yukio_saito 12 дней назад +1

      @@An-mei And organizations. They wreaked havoc on the workplaces.

    • @An-mei
      @An-mei 12 дней назад +1

      @@yukio_saito Yes!

  • @pugnasilvia943
    @pugnasilvia943 12 дней назад +6

    They drive you crazy with their so called "goodness", because they just have to tell you the "truth" about who you are. And blame you for "drama queen"...

  • @Ocean1688
    @Ocean1688 12 дней назад +16

    Thank You Dr Carter! I appreciate ALL the. validation you give 💫 Bless You 😇🙏

  • @s.s.8029
    @s.s.8029 12 дней назад +8

    All very true, unfortunately!

  • @MEL2theJ
    @MEL2theJ 12 дней назад +24

    Thank you again Dr. Carter 🙏

  • @leefossett5777
    @leefossett5777 12 дней назад +16

    My stepmom to a “T!” Exactly. She never loses an argument because she’s right!

  • @alfredmunene5317
    @alfredmunene5317 12 дней назад +17

    Thank you Dr. Cater. You've helped me a lot

  • @wakeupordie
    @wakeupordie 12 дней назад +10

    SPOT ON

  • @jamaalhorton2343
    @jamaalhorton2343 12 дней назад +7

    I say everything you said and right!lol

  • @user-im1mb8tz3h
    @user-im1mb8tz3h 12 дней назад +5

    My narcissist daughter actually think she's an empath

  • @callalilly1988
    @callalilly1988 12 дней назад +5

    This is spot on. Eerily so, in my experience.
    The worst you can do is believe the lies the narcissist says about themselves.
    The actual evidence of who they are is all around you.

  • @soundscapes4619
    @soundscapes4619 12 дней назад +8

    I lost myself. Know thyself!

    • @An-mei
      @An-mei 12 дней назад +3

      They feed off of ones predictability!

  • @kristinaekstrand
    @kristinaekstrand 12 дней назад +6

    Thank you Dr C The helpful part is The best😂

  • @lanorefulgham6469
    @lanorefulgham6469 12 дней назад +8

    Thank you so much for sharing! God bless you and your family!

  • @Agheel963
    @Agheel963 12 дней назад +9

    If someone has to tell you that they are a good person don't believe it. Let someone's personality tell you what type of person they are

  • @patricksicard2023
    @patricksicard2023 12 дней назад +4

    Narcissists are aware of their behavior. They're also oblivious.

  • @user-em8on8py9z
    @user-em8on8py9z 9 дней назад +8

    Theyre not trying to convince you, theyre trying to convince them self

  • @user-fc2tj8lf2m
    @user-fc2tj8lf2m 12 дней назад +4

    I get told I'm too sensitive all the time, but its like no I'm not, this is how any person would react to this type of constant behaviour.

  • @levismommy-dd7el
    @levismommy-dd7el 12 дней назад +5

    Its mind blowing to think someone could be so selfish and really not care about hurting others.. i wish we could have a mental health class built into schools that teaches about narcissism in depth and offers help to emotionally abused kids so they don't end up with personality disorders too. I know there is school counselors and they are awesome but it would be better if they could be teachers

  • @jazzsoul1695
    @jazzsoul1695 12 дней назад +6

    All of these phrases I've heard from my older sister: " If you really had self esteem, then whatever I said wouldn't hurt your feelings!", " You're too sensitive! You're always over-reacting", and " It's all about You!"...It's really all about HER! But to them, if you validate yourself at all, you're SELFISH!!!😂

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  12 дней назад +3

      Amazing. She's showing how she has concocted rationalizations (lies) to allow her to hate.

  • @bonnieromick9397
    @bonnieromick9397 10 дней назад +6

    To them it isn't a lie. They don't Lie. Didn't they tell you. Oops they were lieing

  • @ljroberts3739
    @ljroberts3739 12 дней назад +2

    I'm getting chills down my spine just hearing this 😮 Thank you again Dr. C!! And hello to Gus ❤

  • @mschenandlerbong8539
    @mschenandlerbong8539 10 дней назад +4

    The funny thing is, 2 narcs cannot date each other. They need an enabler. An "empathizer". They need the exact opposite of themselves.

  • @morgana4075
    @morgana4075 11 дней назад +4

    My favorite one my ex would say, "I'm not being mean and disrespectful, I'm just telling the truth and people can't handle it." smh

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  11 дней назад +1

      That's mean and disrespectful. They're not known for excellent self awareness.

  • @imariholm2584
    @imariholm2584 11 дней назад +3

    The bologna comment has me laughing so hard 😂🤣

  • @rosieE121
    @rosieE121 12 дней назад +5

    They could very well be highly successful people and very well make you look small and incapable. But they won't fool everyone. I am not as successful but had to develop a strong sense of self to survive. That does help immensely.

  • @MK-cc5ve
    @MK-cc5ve 7 дней назад +2

    My mother told me this, all of these, all the time. My whole childhood was ruined by believing what my mother told me.

  • @dalinebalag3406
    @dalinebalag3406 11 дней назад +4

    I am afraid of narcissist,Lord,défend me from them,amen.❤

  • @caroleminke6116
    @caroleminke6116 12 дней назад +9

    Funniest short yet!

  • @user-zp1sr8kn6k
    @user-zp1sr8kn6k 11 дней назад +3

    Slinging this kind of baloney...That's how to call it Dr. Carter!

  • @kimdawcatgirl
    @kimdawcatgirl 8 дней назад +3

    The last one that my neighbor said to me was, you just don't see the big picture! Lol😂! I kept my mouth shut!

  • @iononcantomascrivo
    @iononcantomascrivo 12 дней назад +2

    This is like a snapshot of my late stepmom.

  • @Sofia.K.CheerYT
    @Sofia.K.CheerYT 12 дней назад +2

    I just got discarded from this food place for having set healthy boundaries after islamist extremist colleagues decided they would mistreat me after "the way such places are run in Iran". I had the owner bouncing back and forward between gaslighting me, emotional blackmailing, victim blaming and so forward for 2 hours, while I went there even tho the doctor advised not to after that previous episode of violent harrassment gave me a nervous breakdown. These videos are so important to remind us of reality and common sense. I was told that "it's in my head" and that "why did they do it to me and not others" even tho I am alone and new here, moved with this offer and was completely dependent on it for getting settled in the country, even the place I am staying at belongs to it. So yeah, I was attemptedly used, abused, and discarded as trash for having boundaries and integrity much to the surprise of those cowards. Always be proud of your boundaries and standing for yourself

  • @DesertlizzyThe
    @DesertlizzyThe 12 дней назад +3

    My brother who just has to criticize like a bully to be righteous while putting you down. His Criticizing is very rude and insulting name calling.

  • @eco1937
    @eco1937 12 дней назад +3

    My narcissist likes to continually tell me that he 'saved me'. He has still never been able to tell me from what though. "Ohh, you used to go out drinking every weekend". You mean socialising with friends at 19 years old? He desperately wants me to believe that he's my saviour when in fact the opposite is true...

  • @kristahackleylmt2064
    @kristahackleylmt2064 6 дней назад +1

    The narcissists that hurt me most, sit in front of tv most of day, watch news, drama, soap operas, religious channels... then critisize and judge my life and everyones life non stop. I dont pay attention to those negative things so much... I dont watch those things.. negative information.
    I pay attention to what lifts people up.
    You become what you surround yourself with. Whether its people, information, or stuff. Get away from all the darkness and walk towards the light for your physical, mental, and emotional health.

  • @tubo1639
    @tubo1639 10 дней назад +3

    100% true!!!!

  • @samanthawest2162
    @samanthawest2162 12 дней назад +3

    This is like them hitting themselves in the head and saying they don’t have any pain! Just a bunch of numb sculls with marbles rolling around!

    • @teresadvorak6145
      @teresadvorak6145 7 дней назад

      & don't leave out ( they blame U for it)❤❤❤

  • @i.ehrenfest349
    @i.ehrenfest349 8 дней назад +2

    Spot on

  • @chargennaro976
    @chargennaro976 11 дней назад +3

    Oh this one is really really good video, listen to some of these lies that the not can tell themself and believe it all on their own. Definitely opened my eyes and gave me also trigger in remembering that these do sound familiar... They are always trying to say that they are just being helpful rather than being controlling. That is a reality that's stuck with me... Thank you Dr Carter ... They just think they are all around better than everyone else.😮

  • @michiganmymichigan
    @michiganmymichigan 10 дней назад +1

    To heal from the abuse, isn't this how we have to force ourselves to think, some?

  • @joanneshanklin7822
    @joanneshanklin7822 6 дней назад +2

    You are soooo right!!!!❤😮😊

  • @fred.k9875
    @fred.k9875 11 дней назад +2

    I really appreciate this short videos, listening to them while on the run!

  • @stevenmorgan6164
    @stevenmorgan6164 11 дней назад +1

    Thank you Dr Carter

  • @ChristianaBonelliSmith-mo1ox
    @ChristianaBonelliSmith-mo1ox 11 дней назад +2

    If I was the Narcissist I would not be watching all the videos I have watched and documentaries. A Narcissist is not going to question themselves and watch all the videos as they have no accountability.

  • @youareprecious9108
    @youareprecious9108 7 дней назад +2

    Eye opening for me. Unfortunately both of my parents are like this :( I need to escape asap

  • @SuzannaLiessa
    @SuzannaLiessa 11 дней назад +2

    "I'm always right." I dealt with this a lot, and surprise, he was especially bad when it came to areas where i was either a professional or i had decades of experience. I did finally come up with a way to deal with it.
    Me: *says something in my field of expertise*
    Him: *contradicts me*
    Me: *calm* The research is not on your side.
    Conversation over.
    This caught him coming and going. He was always a snob about people saying things without research to back them up.
    He couldn't argue with me over what the research said or flaws in the research itself without looking up the actual research. I didn't get upset. I didn't treat it as a personal attack. I didn't say anything about him. I didn't try to make him believe me. I didn't say anything about myself and I didn't get Into a back-and-forth about specific facts. I didn't try to get him to admit he was wrong. I served it up plain. By that time, I'd changed enough that he knew any attempt to argue was going to get either a calm repetition or a shrug.
    Message: You’re wrong. I don't care if you agree, because I don't need your stamp of approval.

  • @Calidore1
    @Calidore1 12 дней назад +4

    This collection is said in response to accusations and seems hard to believe then, let alone in the cold light of day.

  • @elizabethdurbin3255
    @elizabethdurbin3255 12 дней назад +3

    Sounds exactly like my ex, Oliver Junior.

  • @everymomentisagift
    @everymomentisagift 12 дней назад +4

    Our contractor took down our smoke detectors and unplugged the carbon monoxide. When we asked why they were not put back he said " I forgot ...I am not God"

    • @Hatbox948
      @Hatbox948 12 дней назад +3

      What a strange, weird thing for him to have said.

  • @nodozhit
    @nodozhit 12 дней назад +2

    That's kind of like how I really feel about a particular group of my former coworkers. But I never talked down to them or mistreated them- although it probably wouldn't have made them any difference.

  • @debbiehellionandtheapocaly845
    @debbiehellionandtheapocaly845 11 дней назад +2

    That's sad really 😢

  • @annetterobinson6439
    @annetterobinson6439 12 дней назад +2

    EXACTLY......WOW 😂😂😂😂...✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️

  • @Ozzie-hanchawa1978
    @Ozzie-hanchawa1978 12 дней назад +2

    It’s 💯 . 👍

  • @CarefulSteps1
    @CarefulSteps1 6 дней назад +1

    oh my gosh...this one made me laugh it is so dead on.
    dr c. what you give is so good. it's that thing where you just want someone to listen not necessarily fix it...just affirm a person's .. feelings... and you do that beautifully. you give folks affirmation... what a gift... thank you.
    it is great that someone can actually put into words for you what you experience.
    btw dr c. i wrote up a one page allegorical scenario re what it is like to be w/a narc. i wrote it to give others words they could use to help explain to their own hearts what they have been thru.
    should you want to read it, just holler and tell me where to send it...i think you might find it worth reading....if not, no biggie.

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 11 дней назад +1

    Oh hell no thats a world of hell

  • @VICTORIA-rh6nt
    @VICTORIA-rh6nt 10 дней назад +1

    ❤🎉U ARE THE BEST TO HELP INNOCENT PEOPLE
    THANK U

  • @JohnLeaf
    @JohnLeaf 9 дней назад +2

    Thanks I had a fall in my mind and start to feel frightened but this video help me get this feeling go off

    • @shingajinga3687
      @shingajinga3687 8 дней назад +1

      You got this. Narcs make us second guess ourselves constantly

  • @ricardajames5769
    @ricardajames5769 10 дней назад +1

    Thank you for sharing ❤

  • @sonjabrady1032
    @sonjabrady1032 9 дней назад +3

    Sounds familiar

  • @ginnyrigg9288
    @ginnyrigg9288 8 дней назад +1

    I learnt too late that self appreciation is not a recommendation 😞

  • @Mel-ou2jg
    @Mel-ou2jg 12 дней назад +1

    I love you " tops my list, then comes "Nobody cares" because someone accused me of not caring about them and he saw it hurt me, #3 "You were drinking too".
    Years of "You just" this, "You just that"..
    and "I know you and what you think and do"..(bad things of course) "You promised youd never leave".
    Sorry, hes gone way past 3!😂

  • @SandiKurchak
    @SandiKurchak 5 дней назад +1

    Balcony slinger...😊

  • @ChristianaBonelliSmith-mo1ox
    @ChristianaBonelliSmith-mo1ox 11 дней назад +1

    This is insane that every time I write a text to those I have filed a court case against these pop ups come up. I speak about politics and homelessness and I get this pop up. I have the write to text my opinion without getting a pop up like this. I want the harassment to stop. This is called push back. This is called personal insults and games. I don't think I'm better than anyone because I have my personal opinions as an American voter. As a citizen and as a victim of Due Process Rights and other Violations I have been through. I have the right to file a court case. I have the right to protect my rights. I have the right to privacy and online social media sites. The rights to my email accounts that got hacked. The rights to my years of pictures I've now lost due to identity theft. Pictures of I and my mother, timeframe of places I've been while I've seen papers written over my mother's donation to a private center in Longview that said her daughter was missing, couldn't be found. All the years of pictures of the kids growing up etc. I have the right to not be going through the cyber bullying I'm going through under short videos. And I know it's going on as I have snap shot pictures of it. I received a video from a daughter that had no sound from a man that in words printed was saying I am selfish for thinking I could stay with one of my children. Then I have a snapshot picture of the mother's boyfriend and a device that was 3 things. One was view only. I also see where headlines are changed to the videos I received in short videos

  • @Hydrocarbonateable
    @Hydrocarbonateable 11 дней назад +1

    Keep up the good work Dr C! A much needed video. Do you think you could do a video sometime on the topic of negging and also narcs that hide in the bdsm community? Or the difference between a dominant sexual partner and an unhealthy controller? 🤔 I think a lot of folks don't know the difference and it'd be great to know!

  • @cherylanderson1308
    @cherylanderson1308 12 дней назад +1

    Yes l agree

  • @ptrblz
    @ptrblz 11 дней назад +5

    Demonic 🤷‍♂️

    • @bradfaulkner9597
      @bradfaulkner9597 10 дней назад

      Demonic? All humans are capable of evil on their own, let's not bring religious nonsense into it.

  • @irenahabe2855
    @irenahabe2855 8 дней назад +2

    😂👍

  • @RosyFdz
    @RosyFdz 12 дней назад +1

    My mom and sister say these things verbatim

  • @marcirobins5144
    @marcirobins5144 4 дня назад

    Lies, everyday, all day.
    Never correct their lies, and never protect their lies.
    When they go into their lies, I reply, “Of course.”
    Because they know they’re lying, it always throws them off and renders them speechless. 😂

  • @noormohamed2991
    @noormohamed2991 10 дней назад +3

    😂😂😂😂

  • @Spectre8282
    @Spectre8282 12 дней назад +1

    OTI
    Oh The Irony

  • @tigerkingdesignerbro
    @tigerkingdesignerbro 12 дней назад +3

    Nice, thanks for giving us narcs tips on what words can trigger losers so they put their guard down and be easier to crack.

    • @moimeme6533
      @moimeme6533 12 дней назад +1

      Thanks for demonstrating yet another lie they tell themselves! 😂 🤣

  • @donnadriggers5718
    @donnadriggers5718 12 дней назад +5

    Slinging it for sure..

  • @queenb3088
    @queenb3088 11 дней назад +1

    ✅️✅️✅️

  • @jamiebrown2683
    @jamiebrown2683 12 дней назад +1

    😂😂😂🙌

  • @anxen
    @anxen 12 дней назад +3

    I think all those things lol but I wouldn't say it out loud 😅

  • @JLynnBkNy
    @JLynnBkNy 11 дней назад +1

    smh

  • @princejudah3789
    @princejudah3789 12 дней назад +1

    You just called the guy that actually saved you out his name sounds like u like smooth things only

  • @debbiehardy40
    @debbiehardy40 12 дней назад +4

    Wow. Glad I haven't read all that junk. Thx for your insights.

  • @An-mei
    @An-mei 12 дней назад +5

    😧