I love Jimmy Carter he’s such an amazing man at 90 he’s still doing charity work and finishing what he started when he was president working to make the world a better place for the common man
It was 5, then 5.5 then 5.6 and now 5.7. People who have never worked and lived a life of leisure are used to being able to whine and complain and get handed whatever they want.
He did suck, but I think Bush at least did what he truly believed was right. I think his heart was in the right place. Trump, however, has no heart or brain.
Will Ferrell as George Bush on SNL, "I am speaking to you[Americans] at night, because every time I talk during the day the stock market goes into the crapper. Sorry, China, you take the hit for this one." I get the feeling Alec Baldwin should do a similar skit with your idea.
@@evelynpujalscastillo3413 Who do you think they'd be getting his pink slip, Stephen or Trump? You make confusing statements. And "I wake up and its a feeling I am night mare". You are a might mare or you're having a nightmare?
Or because he knows he can't defend himself because Trump tells the truth. If obama cared about the American people he would come out and dispute every claim Trump makes about him to show the people how he is lying. But Obama refuses to, because he knows Trump knows a lot of what he did during his presidency.
@@SamDePrez no talking to trump is like talking to a recording, he will keep repeating what he says and doesn't heave the capability to listen to other people.
@@juch3 I'd much rather have someone in politics who always says the same stuff and believes in the ideas he said he did during the elections than have a politician who changes his or her stance whenever it suits them. Clinton voted in favor of a border wall a few years ago, and now she's against it, you can't trust people like that. Obama says he wants to be transparant and show the people they can trust him, but when Snowden reveals illegal activitys by the American government he refuses to pardon him. Wether you agree with Trump or not at least he tries to do the things he said he would do unlike people like Obama. The only thing Obama was able to do of all the things he said he would do was Obamacare and it was a severly nerfed version of what he originally said he'd do. He said he would end the fighting in the middle east and bring calm instead there have never been more drone strikes than under Obama. Start looking at what politicians do and not at what they say.
@@SamDePrez Thing is he'd just be wasting his time. Facts just run off a Trumpist like water and the rest of people know... he's doing the right thing.
@@SamDePrez He doesn't always say the same thing though. Trump has been caught lying way more many times than any politician. And what happened to "Mexico will pay for it"? Such toss...
Our children's children are not gonna believe us when we tell them about how crazy the Trump period was. Thank the heavens Colbert and other comedians are helping us through this madness.
As an external observer of this 3 ring circus I may say: Stephen, John Oliver, Seth Meyers, Maddow, Trevor Noah, Lawrence O'Donnell, Cuomo and Jack Tapper make my day everyday with great journalism and a delightful sense of humor with a twist of you know...facts. In the other hand sometimes I like to get aboard the crazy train and enjoy Hannity, Ingraham, Pirro and Tucker just to feel the derailed lunacy and my head spinning so fast that I end up confusing children in cages for children in summer camps...how cute is that?...these 4 guys are really something ''special''. Anyway this is a great show and I can't wait for this soup opera's grand finale with a car chase and all the kicking and screaming if possible...Happy Impeach The MF Day! Greetings.
You just don't get it! "The Wall" is a metaphor. "Mexico is paying for it" is a hyperbole. "Bing, bing, bing... bong, bong, bong" is onomatopoeia. Just let him finish his English homework so he can go back home!!!
"You have Walls and you have Wheels. It was ALWAYS that way and it will ALWAYS be that way!" Did someone forget to tell Trump that the Flintstones are not an accurate depiction of early man?
@@multigiant007 We haven't returned to the moon because there's no reason we need to go back to the moon. Not only do we have samples proving it's just a big ball of dust, that advanced technology you mentioned makes sending an actual person up there pointless: we can tell what it is in a spectrum of datum nobody can see with the naked eye, from here on Earth. You _could_ easily drive to the middle of a frozen tundra where there's no plants or animals and it's just you and the snow, and it'd probably only require you to spend a couple hundred dollars in gas and all your vacation time off work... the fact that you're not doing that in favor of posting on the internet doesn't disprove the existence of cars. yourlogicalfallacyis.com/strawman
@@multigiant007 china has already been on the moon, and that's just to show that they can, there's not much reason for man to go back to the moon except if overpopulation became a really big problem.
Actually going to the moon could be useful in the future due to stuff like helium3 a helium isotope with only one neutron that could be used as a substitute for tritium in fusion
You guys are so ignorant. Do some research. We are trying to putt people on MARS.....RIGHT NOW. When i was in school in houston Nasa held robot design competitions. I think that was in 2002. They said whithin 10 years they would be using the designs tiohelp them figure out the drone they would putt on mars. That's been done. Since about 2004 i think people have been training to go.
OMG, not even halfway through and I'm in tears laughing ! It's such a real horror story...and I'm not even an American ! Saving everyone's sanity, Stephen Colbert - thank YOU
"Have you considered using emergency powers to build this wall withouy congressional approval" YOU DONT REMIND THE SITH LORD ABOUT EMERGENCY POWERS, BECAUSE THEN HE'LL THINK HE IS THE SENATE
@@ballsdynamite , My thought was this: A wall that spread across the whole boarder of a country, so tall it needed lifts to get to the top and manned all the way across it... one fiery attack and it toppled. Yeah, Trump referring to the wall within the Game of Throne universe might as well be prophecy given... it failed. That wall FAILED! So will Trumps....
Yes. I think I was 13 when the Berlin Wall came down. I visited there as a kid when my dad was stationed in Germany and we came back stateside just before it came down. I was so jealous that I couldn’t be there.
@ Analogies can take us further than you would like to acknowledge. It was a wall, ordered by an autocrat, to prevent people escaping hardship and repression, and stop them going somewhere which could easily accommodate them. As for the division of one country, do you not realise how much of the southern part of the USA was annexed by force from Mexico? It's a much closer analogy than you are comfortable with, my friend.
I know I always say the same thing, but I really, really, REALLY think it's time society stops thinking about building walls and starts thinking about building bridges (specially after this wonferfull thing called internet). Embracing different cultures is what's gonna make us move forward! This whole 'let's build a wall to keep the foreigners out' idea's so outdated just pisses me off... And great monologue as always!!
I think it's going to happen anyways, since the level of cooperation that we need to sustain our massive civilizations easily promotes further cooperation. Which is all the more baffling that a segment of the population is fighting against something that is not only inevitable but also good for everyone.
@@albericponcedeleon2696 I agree. I don't think it's baffling, though, 'cause the status quo wants things to remain as they were and, for some reason, a part of the population just doesn't want to think for themselves and just follow whatever a leader tells them to. But yeah, eventually, we should be moving towards cooperation. Cheers!
Damn sure better then him. Remember when Trump complained that Obama shouldn't be reading from a promoter. Now we know why. He doesn't read and Obama does. Lol lol Crazy man In the white house.
He still illegally bombed Syria. Didn't pull out of Afghanistan or Iraq either. He was just as much a puppet as any other president for the past 30 years.
It is such a relief to laugh at this stuff! I worry all the time about what trump is doing to this country. It helps sooo much to laugh at him. THANK YOU!
Individual One said "Some things never change. Walls and wheels never change" Good to know the great wall of China still keeps Mongolians out, no one from Mongolia visits by plane or drives through the check points...
And on related note, way back at the dawn of time, the human race also invented (or simply evolved the instinct for) the shaping of a hand into a fist for punching attacking predators or insane morons who are systematically destroying their country... er, I mean village. If Drumpf wants to go back to basics, how about he goes a few rounds with the Progressive Liberal in the wrestling ring? Eh?! I mean, yeah, he's a bit old for it, but then all those children whose lives he and Steven Miller are ruining, are a bit young for it! So it evens out!
@@getchasome6230 Or comediens found out how many really stupid Americans are living inside the border...And there are loads of them..And now they are going to find uot how the Justice department really works..soon,Mueller time..Above the wall..
@@getchasome6230 I thought it was because Hillary didn't campaign for the electoral college? Can't you fools just stick to one narrative? How's that flat earth coming along?
Yeah, sitting here in front of my computer, at home, 12,000 miles from NYC, I clapped too.. ;) Great set up to that joke.. Stephen and his writers are brilliant..
And here id thought junkies had just gotten hurt and some mean doctor jammed the pills down their throats. Now taking pills makes one a bad person???? Thats someones kid youre talking about, you tolerant liberal. Be tolerant
How stupid do you have to be to compare a wall that divided a already unified country, to a wall that’s trying to divide two independent nations? You fall off the stupid wagon this morning?
@@noobie1890 actually, whilst making unnecessary, divisive insults, you ignore the symbolism that unites the two ideas. Reagan was attempting to show the rest of the world that we are stronger without barriers dividing us. This wall Trump proposed would not only divide us from one of our largest trade partners, but also will figuratively divide the nation. Currently 35% want the wall. Even if Trump held every voter from 2016 and all who voted for him wanted the wall, it still shows less than half of the nation wanted the extra expense of the wall. Therefore, the analysis is accurate.
History and experts tell us that huge and expensive walls have never really stopped invaders. Most of them have crumbled and are now tourist attractions. Walls are a 16th century solution that do not work in the 21st century. Here is a list of famous ineffective walls: Hitler's Atlantic Wall, Continental Europe & Scandanavia, Nazi Germany; The Great Wall Of China, China; The Berlin Wall, East Germany; The Walls of Troy, Turkey; Hadrian’s Wall, England; The Walls of Ston, Croatia; The Walls Of Babylon, Iraq, The Great Zimbabwe Walls, Zimbabwe; Sacsayhuaman, Peru, etc.
Don't know about the others, but the Berlin Wall was very effective... not in keeping invaders out, but in imprisoning the inhabitants of the DDR. And now, 30 years after its fall, there is still negative impact. So don't let him build a wall, even if it will crumble... Greetings from East Germany
@@maxglide Hilariously, I have a Facebook friend of Mexican descent who has gone on a vacation and made a point of taking selfies of himself jumping over as many of these famous walls as he can. I get the joke but, yes, yes I have. XD
Thank you for pointing that out. I hadn't noticed him, because much like said reporter, I was so transfixed by the train wreck in progress that everything else just kind of fell away. Every time that orange turd talks, I become more worried that we won't see 2020 for a new election.
I love going through Stephens comment section and laughing at brainwashed dems like you, its hilarious. Because trump is totally racist that's why he had a black women make it to the finale of the apprentice, just because you want to stop illegal immigration doesn't make you racist does that mean bill Clinton is too?
He may not have been a billionaire before he became president, but might be by 2020. Thankfully the Dems now control the house. Looking forward to finding out the extent of any corruption and whether or not it will lead to impeachment.
@@bhudson39 For the record, his net worth was estimated at $4.5 billion in 2016 (he claimed he was worth $10 billion). The most recent estimate is at $3.1 billion and this should have further dropped after his "charity" was recently shutdown. The keyword here is *estimate* because he has not released his tax returns and I am willing bet he has racked up a lot of unpaid taxes.
Jose Dominguez I even watched some old ones. Stephen, Noah, Samantha and Seth were all gone at the same time. It was agony! I do blame trump for his insane press conferences but I blame the republicans WAY more for what has happened because without them this would never have happened and they are the ones who wrote that horrendous tax cut Bill that is finally surfacing in how it is affecting the 99%, not to mention the trade wars. As most people know, trump and the GOP have been running off the Obama administrations achievements and their actions have caught up with them! I hope the majority of them get voted out but we have to get rid of their illegal gerrymandering first. The democrats have written an amazing Bill that includes this. If they don’t pass it in the Senate, It will successfully be used as a damn good talking point on the campaign trail!!!
Daniel Ortiz get your facts straight. No alternative reality here. Obama did NOT shut down, REPUBLICANS did. In 2019, let’s at least show intellectual INTEGRITY with some objectivity
That reporter, whoever he is, just gave Trump the idea. Something Trump and his croons had no idea about. The reporter laid out all the details how to go round the Congress, and now Trump cant think of anything else. Damn.
5:50 - 5:59 *"Oh thank goodness. The last thing you'd want in a border wall is something obtrusive. That's why they call it the Inconspicuous Wall of China."* *~ Stephen Colbert.*
He’ll be saying ‘and I can do it if I want’ as long as we let the little boy through his fit. Just leave him on the ground stomping and screaming and walk away America.
Yeah, build that wall. We in Germany loved it, worked out great. We had it all, guns, dogs and ditches, barbed wire and watchtowers. But just after 30 happy years David Hasselhoff came along and tore it down singing a song in a blinking leather jacket. Sad. So sad.
@Burak Coskun maybe we should try Trump's wall here also? The population, especially our eastern fellows will be happy. So happy. Tremendously happy. Some folks even loved the old wall that much so they lost their lives while trying to see it from the other side.
I think that we should each send Trump a Lego wall building kit. That way, he can build his own stupid wall. It will keep him busy until the end of his term (and then some) and it will keep him out of our hair for a long, long time.
😅😅😅😅😅😅 Thank you.... us Brits have nobody to cheer us up over the chaotic mess of Brexit, but at least I can come here, and get a little light relief from the chaos in the US!! I swear, I will wake up one day, and everything will be back to normal over here, and the US will have a president that the world can be proud of again!
Also maybe someone should point out that The Wall didn’t actually keep the wildlings out. Part of the Night’s Watch job was to fend of wildling attacks AFTER they’d gotten around the wall. The wall was only effective on the guys that couldn’t use boats or swim and even then they broke it down within a few years of putting a plan into action.
Don't ever ever leave us alone with that man again!!!!
My favorite comment so far, lol.
Sweet
Oh noes! Did the bad man try to touch you?
I need an adult! Crazy grandpa is scaring me!
🤣🤣🤣
I love Jimmy Carter he’s such an amazing man at 90 he’s still doing charity work and finishing what he started when he was president working to make the world a better place for the common man
People made fun of him when he was in office but I think he's one of the most ethical people America's ever had working for them.
Oh, Jimmy Carter, slam! That was an amazing Tweet.
America is my favorite reality show. Greetings from Sweden
Then there is Britain with Brexit...
Say hi to Pewdiepie for me, thx
Dito from Australia 😆
Burak Coskun Nah, I still prefer the US as a genocide show. Your entire nation is built on genocide.
@Burak Coskun you seem to know a lot about cultural genocide, perhahps from the example of european colonization in the americas and asia?
"I want $5B"
"No!"
"Ok ok ok. How 'bout $5.7B?"
The Art of the Deal
Lol!
The Shart of the Deal
It was 5, then 5.5 then 5.6 and now 5.7. People who have never worked and lived a life of leisure are used to being able to whine and complain and get handed whatever they want.
He recently just asked for more.
Bush must smile to himself every time Donnie opens his mouth at the thought of not being remembered as America's worst president.
Yes! and I will smile to myself when the Memesters begin memeing Ronald Reagan's "Tear down this Wall!" Irony, not Steel!
He did suck, but I think Bush at least did what he truly believed was right. I think his heart was in the right place. Trump, however, has no heart or brain.
Will Ferrell as George Bush on SNL, "I am speaking to you[Americans] at night, because every time I talk during the day the stock market goes into the crapper. Sorry, China, you take the hit for this one."
I get the feeling Alec Baldwin should do a similar skit with your idea.
So funny and true
The Republican Party was created by Lincoln. Nixon and Bush injured it. And it dies with Trump
Oh I missed you, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! I needed you
Just the opposite for me.
I was hoping I could just pretend we didn't have a president.
For real!!!
I go to sleep thinking when is he getting his pink slip. I wake up and its a feeling I am night mare.
I'm surprised I'm still sane!
@@evelynpujalscastillo3413 Who do you think they'd be getting his pink slip, Stephen or Trump? You make confusing statements. And "I wake up and its a feeling I am night mare". You are a might mare or you're having a nightmare?
I love that the Obamas never engage Trump whenever he tries to drag them into the discussion. It's the ultimate snub that they ignore him.
Or because he knows he can't defend himself because Trump tells the truth. If obama cared about the American people he would come out and dispute every claim Trump makes about him to show the people how he is lying. But Obama refuses to, because he knows Trump knows a lot of what he did during his presidency.
@@SamDePrez no talking to trump is like talking to a recording, he will keep repeating what he says and doesn't heave the capability to listen to other people.
@@juch3 I'd much rather have someone in politics who always says the same stuff and believes in the ideas he said he did during the elections than have a politician who changes his or her stance whenever it suits them. Clinton voted in favor of a border wall a few years ago, and now she's against it, you can't trust people like that. Obama says he wants to be transparant and show the people they can trust him, but when Snowden reveals illegal activitys by the American government he refuses to pardon him.
Wether you agree with Trump or not at least he tries to do the things he said he would do unlike people like Obama. The only thing Obama was able to do of all the things he said he would do was Obamacare and it was a severly nerfed version of what he originally said he'd do.
He said he would end the fighting in the middle east and bring calm instead there have never been more drone strikes than under Obama.
Start looking at what politicians do and not at what they say.
@@SamDePrez Thing is he'd just be wasting his time. Facts just run off a Trumpist like water and the rest of people know... he's doing the right thing.
@@SamDePrez He doesn't always say the same thing though. Trump has been caught lying way more many times than any politician. And what happened to "Mexico will pay for it"? Such toss...
Our children's children are not gonna believe us when we tell them about how crazy the Trump period was. Thank the heavens Colbert and other comedians are helping us through this madness.
watch it now
Literally couldn’t get through this term without Stephen! Thank you for existing
Hell yeah! Especially since Stephen returned before the full government did, courtesy of our beloved leader Donald Trump.
Damn, I hope Colbert goes off air simply for this reason
Stephen is the only reason I can still stomach American politics, as an American.
Amen!!
I just had to give you the 100th thumbs up
As an external observer of this 3 ring circus I may say: Stephen, John Oliver, Seth Meyers, Maddow, Trevor Noah, Lawrence O'Donnell, Cuomo and Jack Tapper make my day everyday with great journalism and a delightful sense of humor with a twist of you know...facts. In the other hand sometimes I like to get aboard the crazy train and enjoy Hannity, Ingraham, Pirro and Tucker just to feel the derailed lunacy and my head spinning so fast that I end up confusing children in cages for children in summer camps...how cute is that?...these 4 guys are really something ''special''. Anyway this is a great show and I can't wait for this soup opera's grand finale with a car chase and all the kicking and screaming if possible...Happy Impeach The MF Day! Greetings.
As a non American he's the only reason we still have hope for the USA
He keeps us all out of Bellview Hospital!
Trump: my government is a mess. What do I do?
Republicans: have you tried turning it off and on?
hahaha!
“Oh shit it won’t start up again now!”
“Oh shit it won’t start up again now!”
Now it wont reboot!!
😂😂😂
You just don't get it!
"The Wall" is a metaphor.
"Mexico is paying for it" is a hyperbole.
"Bing, bing, bing... bong, bong, bong" is onomatopoeia.
Just let him finish his English homework so he can go back home!!!
English is not his first language. It's German. He's Still learnig. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I want a wall! Scratch that... I want 6 walls (around Trump, also without any windows)!
Hahaha that's the most brilliant enterpretation of Agent Orange I've ever heard!
This is beautiful 😂
Best comment ever
"You have Walls and you have Wheels. It was ALWAYS that way and it will ALWAYS be that way!" Did someone forget to tell Trump that the Flintstones are not an accurate depiction of early man?
Literally LOL'd!
Valerie J. Norse
Same here
Funny enough the flintstones were more progressive then the hater and chief. Thank goodness Colbert is back.
I had no idea Fox News was elected to the White House ? !?!? Impressive.
And even fatass Limbaugh! Ugh!
Samantha Gaudet not elected. Result of sabotage.
@@jacquesblaque7728 and Coulter
That moon analogy won't work on Trump supporters because they don't believe we've been there
@@multigiant007
We haven't returned to the moon because there's no reason we need to go back to the moon. Not only do we have samples proving it's just a big ball of dust, that advanced technology you mentioned makes sending an actual person up there pointless: we can tell what it is in a spectrum of datum nobody can see with the naked eye, from here on Earth. You _could_ easily drive to the middle of a frozen tundra where there's no plants or animals and it's just you and the snow, and it'd probably only require you to spend a couple hundred dollars in gas and all your vacation time off work... the fact that you're not doing that in favor of posting on the internet doesn't disprove the existence of cars.
yourlogicalfallacyis.com/strawman
@@multigiant007 china has already been on the moon, and that's just to show that they can, there's not much reason for man to go back to the moon except if overpopulation became a really big problem.
Actually going to the moon could be useful in the future due to stuff like helium3 a helium isotope with only one neutron that could be used as a substitute for tritium in fusion
You guys are so ignorant. Do some research. We are trying to putt people on MARS.....RIGHT NOW. When i was in school in houston Nasa held robot design competitions. I think that was in 2002. They said whithin 10 years they would be using the designs tiohelp them figure out the drone they would putt on mars.
That's been done.
Since about 2004 i think people have been training to go.
Ammon - That's a good one!!!!
OMG, not even halfway through and I'm in tears laughing ! It's such a real horror story...and I'm not even an American ! Saving everyone's sanity, Stephen Colbert - thank YOU
Thank goodness Stephen is back. I can only come up with so many jokes in my head before I go insane. Trump really is an orange clown.
Please don't insult clowns, they have it hard enough these days.
@@Lycan_Sub_Scribe Nice
Right?!?!? *sigh* I think I can now sleep tonight
tomorrow will be a doozy
too late for me, i went coocoo over the break while he was gone
😮😮😮 STEPHEN!!!!!! Don’t ever leave us hanging like this again!!!!!!!!!! 🤣💙❤️💙
I 2nd this!! ☮️❤️
We need to let him have his holidays... and cope somehow 😑
Ahhh, it is good to have Colbert back. Essential for my sanity.
Agreed
Oh dear sweet changeling, I feel so sorry for you!
"Have you considered using emergency powers to build this wall withouy congressional approval"
YOU DONT REMIND THE SITH LORD ABOUT EMERGENCY POWERS, BECAUSE THEN HE'LL THINK HE IS THE SENATE
"...Execute Order 66..."
"I will go down in history as 'President A-Hole'!" LOL #nailedit 😂😂😂
Welcome back, Stephen!!! You have been missed, my friend. Your show is the only place I get my news from and I’m better informed than ever.
Same
Lacy Silver-Wolf me too my dear friend!!! This is the only comment section online not littered with idiots who still support or Dictator-ish President
It's not a $5billion wall, that's the down payment. Don't confuse that shit.
It worked on Game of Thrones.
@@iDGF999 My spanish ice dragon says hii
Trump is going to embezzle the money into his personal bank accounts anyways no matter how much it cost
@@iDGF999 I'm pretty sure they actually made the wildlings and white walkers pay for that wall. That's why they're all so pissed off.
The wall will be made in china and sent over in barges.
"The only walkers that got through....were white" - LOL
Cue dumb audience not getting the point of the joke.
I liked the a-hole joke
most powerful roasting ever.
@@ballsdynamite ,
My thought was this:
A wall that spread across the whole boarder of a country, so tall it needed lifts to get to the top and manned all the way across it... one fiery attack and it toppled.
Yeah, Trump referring to the wall within the Game of Throne universe might as well be prophecy given... it failed. That wall FAILED! So will Trumps....
I mean, The Free Folk (aka Wildlings) got through too. They climb the wall.
Welcome back funny fella! Hope your holidays were happy!
And to think that, just thirty years ago, we were bringing walls down ...
Ronald Reagan would be rolling in his grave after seeing what has become of the Republican party today.
Yes. I think I was 13 when the Berlin Wall came down. I visited there as a kid when my dad was stationed in Germany and we came back stateside just before it came down. I was so jealous that I couldn’t be there.
@ it ended up keeping citizens from fleeing... not how it was presented.
@ Analogies can take us further than you would like to acknowledge. It was a wall, ordered by an autocrat, to prevent people escaping hardship and repression, and stop them going somewhere which could easily accommodate them. As for the division of one country, do you not realise how much of the southern part of the USA was annexed by force from Mexico? It's a much closer analogy than you are comfortable with, my friend.
The GOP is forever worshipping Ronald Reagan. I wonder what he must be thinking wherever he is about someone putting up another damn wall.
What happened to Mexico paying for it, anyway?
Forte Piano they swept it under the rug
Vincente Fox told Trump to go F himself, remember? Way back in the beginning of Trump's term . . .
they decided...nay ...thank you for asking though!
It's us paying their debt off with it, they're not paying a cent.
It was one of the 8,000 lies that Trump told since he was elected
My days felt incomplete without these monologues. Nice to have you back, Stephen.
Sthephen, seth meyers and Trevor Noah are finally back!!!!💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽🍷
Bill Maher will be back next week.
Got to love Jimmy Carter!
He is such a kind wonderful man.
Wasn't the best president but as a moral leader he has few rivals.
He was the first neoliberal president in our country. He was a sign of the worse things to come.
Among our finest American Statesmen!
@@MultiDiarmuid
you don't know what the term "neoliberal" means
I know I always say the same thing, but I really, really, REALLY think it's time society stops thinking about building walls and starts thinking about building bridges (specially after this wonferfull thing called internet). Embracing different cultures is what's gonna make us move forward! This whole 'let's build a wall to keep the foreigners out' idea's so outdated just pisses me off...
And great monologue as always!!
Victor Cabanelas nice comment Victor.
I think it's going to happen anyways, since the level of cooperation that we need to sustain our massive civilizations easily promotes further cooperation. Which is all the more baffling that a segment of the population is fighting against something that is not only inevitable but also good for everyone.
@@albericponcedeleon2696 I agree. I don't think it's baffling, though, 'cause the status quo wants things to remain as they were and, for some reason, a part of the population just doesn't want to think for themselves and just follow whatever a leader tells them to. But yeah, eventually, we should be moving towards cooperation. Cheers!
Little do Americans know the wall is to stop them from escaping .
didnot the pope said the same thing from the begning
So glad to see you back Mr. Colbert and Happy New Year!
I missed you man, it's was hard without you
Ikr
"the only walkers that got thru were white" seriously had me spitting my cereal in laughter. good one colbert!
Now I want cereal
we can’t up teacher’s pay and fund our shit education system but we can spend 5 billion dollars on an unnecessary wall. pure genius.
baby blue thank you!!!! Finally an intelligent person.
Trump proves everyday that Obama is the best president of our generation.
Damn sure better then him. Remember when Trump complained that Obama shouldn't be reading from a promoter. Now we know why. He doesn't read and Obama does. Lol lol
Crazy man In the white house.
He still illegally bombed Syria. Didn't pull out of Afghanistan or Iraq either. He was just as much a puppet as any other president for the past 30 years.
I think a turtle would be a better President than Trump.
Thandi M no, that would be Bill Clinton.
Don't scare me. If Obama really is the best we can put up as a species, we're toast.
Dude, when your 30ft concrete wall(paid for by Mexico) becomes a metal fence(paid for by Americans), you lost.
No, he is "winning"? He is always winning in his mind.
He has a base that has surrendered their minds completely. Moonies never complain, they just wait to be told what their next ideas are.
Now try explaining that to his followers. No, wait. They already get it, they're just idiots.
@@selalewow While he deals with zero direct consequences he glibly foists upon others. Just like a proper childish narcissist.
@@phnelson033 It is sad that they can put side by side videos of him contradicting himself and lying, but his followers still cheer him on.
It is such a relief to laugh at this stuff! I worry all the time about what trump is doing to this country. It helps sooo much to laugh at him. THANK YOU!
Agreed.
obama calling trumps economy a miracle and trying to take credit is the best part of the whole shitshow. Lmmfao
Ringo Shy I can't wait to see Hillary lose again. Js
@@getchasome6230 Obama would NEVER take credit for anything trump did. He is a much better man than trump will ever be.
Lori Kendrick m.ruclips.net/video/SgdkoQI9gwQ/видео.html
We will dig a hole. It will be a glorious hole. It will be a glory hole.
I remember all the good walls have done. The Berlin Wall, for example (beautiful concrete). It was not associated with violence, oppression, or war
Exactly. Walls are just a beautiful expression of love and freedom.
🤣
Mira Robin I am going to assume you are kidding, lol 🤣
@@EmmaCse yeah it is 100 percent sarcasm
Individual One said "Some things never change. Walls and wheels never change" Good to know the great wall of China still keeps Mongolians out, no one from Mongolia visits by plane or drives through the check points...
@Logical Thinker R/whoosh
My prescription of funny news has been renewed. Huzzah!
I love that word "huzzah"!👍
"President A Hole"
*Give Stephen an Emmy* 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Goofy Emoji
He deserves it for that one
Goofy Emoji 😂😂😂😂😂
Walls and wheels... WTF?!
As much as it makes me laugh, it’s pretty worrying how often the things he says have me say out loud “What the fuck is he even talking about?”
That's our genius speaking. HAHAHA
President a hole !!!
What the heck does that even MEAN?
And on related note, way back at the dawn of time, the human race also invented (or simply evolved the instinct for) the shaping of a hand into a fist for punching attacking predators or insane morons who are systematically destroying their country... er, I mean village. If Drumpf wants to go back to basics, how about he goes a few rounds with the Progressive Liberal in the wrestling ring? Eh?!
I mean, yeah, he's a bit old for it, but then all those children whose lives he and Steven Miller are ruining, are a bit young for it! So it evens out!
Don't leave us alone with that man again, he's scary !!!!
👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿👿
Patricia Dancy I agree! It’s a cold scary world out there without Stephen to give us that much needed dose of 🤣 to keep us sane! 😈😈😈😈
Yup, let the "comediens" tell you what to think... Good plan.
This is part of why Hillary lost.. Js
Ryan Adam Your. assertion is incorrect. Your thinking is very trumpian. You have it backwards.
@@getchasome6230 Or comediens found out how many really stupid Americans are living inside the border...And there are loads of them..And now they are going to find uot how the Justice department really works..soon,Mueller time..Above the wall..
@@getchasome6230
I thought it was because Hillary didn't campaign for the electoral college?
Can't you fools just stick to one narrative?
How's that flat earth coming along?
Oh, Stephen. How I missed you so!
First time I've clapped for Trump … " When they think of me, they think of a hole. …..President A Hole".... for that I'll clap!
Katzztar damn that was hilarious!!! LMAO
Shame the President isn't president a hole, but insted president a wall
@@cursedfate838 I wish this President would go a wall... AWOL that is.
Katzztar
you've got the clap
Yeah, sitting here in front of my computer, at home, 12,000 miles from NYC, I clapped too.. ;)
Great set up to that joke.. Stephen and his writers are brilliant..
So Bonespurs is taking advise from Rush Limbaugh, a heroin (oxycontin) addict?
Like that's the dumbest thing that orange moron has ever done...😂
And here id thought junkies had just gotten hurt and some mean doctor jammed the pills down their throats. Now taking pills makes one a bad person???? Thats someones kid youre talking about, you tolerant liberal. Be tolerant
My boy is back! All is well and good for this 10 minute monologue, at least.
Yes, then we go back to madness.
Welcome back Stephen. Love from Nairobi KENYA
Habari yaako, wewe?
MusicBankTv
please stay there in your shanty town
@@jbirdnelson3818 You think Nairobi Kenya is a shanty town? 😂😂😂
@@anthonyellis4915 even if it were, that's still a horrible thing to say
Ohh you mean China? Doesn’t China own you guys now?
Because you ran a worthless country
Trevor Noah: "Trump looks like he is wearing a very cheap mask of his own face."
"
LMFAO!!!🤣🤣🤣
And a cheap wig of his own hair.
He looks like a reptilian alien wearing a man-suit that's too small for him.
@@ManoredRed you may be on to something.
President A Hole. That was genius.
Mr. Gorbachev....tear down this wall!
How soon Republicans forget...
💯👏👏 👏👏 👏
How stupid do you have to be to compare a wall that divided a already unified country, to a wall that’s trying to divide two independent nations? You fall off the stupid wagon this morning?
I would agree if someone were to build a wall through Manhattan.
@@noobie1890 actually, whilst making unnecessary, divisive insults, you ignore the symbolism that unites the two ideas. Reagan was attempting to show the rest of the world that we are stronger without barriers dividing us. This wall Trump proposed would not only divide us from one of our largest trade partners, but also will figuratively divide the nation. Currently 35% want the wall. Even if Trump held every voter from 2016 and all who voted for him wanted the wall, it still shows less than half of the nation wanted the extra expense of the wall. Therefore, the analysis is accurate.
@Rob Vollat well I mean Trump said it was his shutdown, why try to appropriate his victory like that? So rude
I missed Stephen so much! Glad you’re back
The inferiority complex Trump displays with regards to Obama is very telling. 🇨🇦
So true. I thought it was simply racism but it's that and more! Good thinking, Canada!!
*THANKS OBAMA*
*President A Hole*
@@brettpasquinelli7033 who spanky the russian spy?
Penis envy 😉
"And I can do it if I want".... have you ever heard a more juvenile statement? "Can too", "cannot", "can too"......
kathleenb1947 My question is, how the hell did he raise his kids!? His tantrums prove he’s a kid himself!
@@g3n1us2000 I honestly don't think he did. Fortunately they have mothers.
History and experts tell us that huge and expensive walls have never really stopped invaders. Most of them have crumbled and are now tourist attractions. Walls are a 16th century solution that do not work in the 21st century. Here is a list of famous ineffective walls:
Hitler's Atlantic Wall, Continental Europe & Scandanavia, Nazi Germany; The Great Wall Of China, China; The Berlin Wall, East Germany; The Walls of Troy, Turkey; Hadrian’s Wall, England;
The Walls of Ston, Croatia; The Walls Of Babylon, Iraq, The Great Zimbabwe Walls, Zimbabwe;
Sacsayhuaman, Peru, etc.
Don't know about the others, but the Berlin Wall was very effective... not in keeping invaders out, but in imprisoning the inhabitants of the DDR. And now, 30 years after its fall, there is still negative impact. So don't let him build a wall, even if it will crumble... Greetings from East Germany
@@NSKESCH
Yes, exactly. The wall is not designed to be a physical barrier, but a mental one.
Wall in Israel works also great. As did the Great Wall of China. And Berlin wall. Cheers
Ronaldo MacDonaldo i TOTALLY disagree, all those walls have worked perfectly. You ever hear of even ONE Mexican making it over any of those walls?!
@@maxglide
Hilariously, I have a Facebook friend of Mexican descent who has gone on a vacation and made a point of taking selfies of himself jumping over as many of these famous walls as he can. I get the joke but, yes, yes I have. XD
Sad the government couldn’t be with us tonight.
OMG finally Stephen is back
I like how the show checked with the past PRESIDENTS to find out if THEY wanted a wall!
Great to see you. Love from. Australia
Yay! Fellow Australian fan! ❤️
Ditto, Brisvegas
Aussies who needlessly pay too much attention to American politics. Why do we do it? Shout out from G town
Me too 😁
Yep, me too!
Art of the deal is now in the comedy section
Nevada Forensics LLC it always was.
I hope it didn't do too much harm to the person who actually wrote it.
Nevada Forensics LLC That's the best statement ever! 😂😂😂😂
It always was....or the fiction section!
Your comment isnt tho
8:34 Watch the growing horror in the face of that reporter behind ABC's Terry Moran.
Steven Brandt
I saw
Should have kicked him in the shin, or slapped back if the head, foolish man
Bwhahaha! Yes!
Thank you for pointing that out. I hadn't noticed him, because much like said reporter, I was so transfixed by the train wreck in progress that everything else just kind of fell away. Every time that orange turd talks, I become more worried that we won't see 2020 for a new election.
@@Amy-oo7mm I noticed it because I wondered how I'd react if I was present for that question.
“I can understand why Trump loves that ‘Game of Thrones Wall’ because the only walkers who got through were white.” 🤔
Burak Coskun you are so mean and get a life or just stay out of the internet. Both you and trump are unwanted here
I love going through Stephens comment section and laughing at brainwashed dems like you, its hilarious. Because trump is totally racist that's why he had a black women make it to the finale of the apprentice, just because you want to stop illegal immigration doesn't make you racist does that mean bill Clinton is too?
What even is this comment thread? All I see is a racist and a conservative....
@@tristinsikorski2061 I love going through and laughing at brainwashed like you, it's hilarious because Drumpf is Out-of-the-Office
Trump's a billionaire. Let him pay for his own damn wall.
Without those tax returns alleged billionaire
Except he's NOT worth how much he claims to be. His total net worth (which is on the decline) isn't even how much he's asking for the wall.
He may not have been a billionaire before he became president, but might be by 2020.
Thankfully the Dems now control the house. Looking forward to finding out the extent of any corruption and whether or not it will lead to impeachment.
Wulfman317 J)
@@bhudson39 For the record, his net worth was estimated at $4.5 billion in 2016 (he claimed he was worth $10 billion). The most recent estimate is at $3.1 billion and this should have further dropped after his "charity" was recently shutdown.
The keyword here is *estimate* because he has not released his tax returns and I am willing bet he has racked up a lot of unpaid taxes.
F#$K yeah!!!! Stephen is back!!!!
Mr Colbert is back and he is sharp as a 🔪
No one gets Trump better than Stephen Colbert! I would be in a straight jacket if I couldn't watch this show
Comparing Trump to chickens is offensive to chickens. 🤨
Trump should build the WALL out of Hillary's emails... Since No one can get over them 😉
Oh, nicely played, sir! Well spoken.
Well played.
*high five*
😂 Good one.
M. Rodrigo Lemus
Ohhhhhhhhohohohohohooo!
I'm from Germany so believe me when I say: Walls don't solve problems.
Come on writers... "I'm gonna make him an offer he cannoli accept"
Hahahahaha comedy gold- love puns
@@Lemonade748 , that was 2/3's of a pun. P U it stunk!😆
🎤⬇️
I gonna make him an offer he can't understand...
@@ShadowStoryteller (Family Guy) "It's funny because it's true!" :D
I’m gonna make him a cannoli he can’t refuse
Donnie is clearly referencing the famous 'Wheeling Wall' in Jerusalem.
Hee, hee! I know that reference.
Hahaha, 😂😂😂 you made my day!
Genius
+New Message
*rimshot*
Another one that made me laugh HARD!! 😂 Even our tiny kitten was staring at it! 🐈
who else kept coming back for new uploads?
Me lol
Jose Dominguez I even watched some old ones. Stephen, Noah, Samantha and Seth were all gone at the same time. It was agony!
I do blame trump for his insane press conferences but I blame the republicans WAY more for what has happened because without them this would never have happened and they are the ones who wrote that horrendous tax cut Bill that is finally surfacing in how it is affecting the 99%, not to mention the trade wars. As most people know, trump and the GOP have been running off the Obama administrations achievements and their actions have caught up with them! I hope the majority of them get voted out but we have to get rid of their illegal gerrymandering first. The democrats have written an amazing Bill that includes this. If they don’t pass it in the Senate, It will successfully be used as a damn good talking point on the campaign trail!!!
Er... Everyone watching the videos? LOL, you can even see how many views the videos have. :D
Can you imagine if President Obama had threatened to assume emergency powers?
He shut down the government in 2013 bc Republicans opposed Obama care
@@DanielOrtiz-st6fq no it was republicans who shut it down
Daniel Ortiz get your facts straight. No alternative reality here. Obama did NOT shut down, REPUBLICANS did. In 2019, let’s at least show intellectual INTEGRITY with some objectivity
Two different wheels on the same bike
Obama is the one who made the bill which was past that was to give Hillary emergency power but Trump won the election LOL .
TG you are back! Being forced to get all my news from the media has been painful and nerve wracking. You are the "spoonful of sugar", so to speak. =o)
Lets see how you run the country hotshot
That reporter, whoever he is, just gave Trump the idea. Something Trump and his croons had no idea about. The reporter laid out all the details how to go round the Congress, and now Trump cant think of anything else. Damn.
I wondered if he was planted just to pipe up and say that
Terry Moran should be embedded with the troops in Afghanistan for the foreseeable future.
I actually think Trump had floated this idea a little earlier.
Im just wondering how hard he will face plant if he actually tries ir.
I missed you mr . colbert
It's about time you got back! I haven't laughed for 17 days.
my nights have become great again. welcome back Stephen!
5:50 - 5:59
*"Oh thank goodness. The last thing you'd want in a border wall is something obtrusive. That's why they call it the Inconspicuous Wall of China."*
*~ Stephen Colbert.*
I never knew it was possible to miss someone I don't know. Welcome back!
"Inconspicuous wall of China" ... I almost wet my drawers.
Where ever President "Crazy Town" is, there actually is a national disaster, so on Thursday, there will be a national disaster on the border...sad
your lucky to have trump, my leader gives our tax money to terrorists.
He’ll be saying ‘and I can do it if I want’ as long as we let the little boy through his fit. Just leave him on the ground stomping and screaming and walk away America.
The humanitarian crisis isn't on the border, it's in the White House. The legal remedy for it is outline r in the 25th Amendment of the Constitution.
Yeah, build that wall. We in Germany loved it, worked out great. We had it all, guns, dogs and ditches, barbed wire and watchtowers. But just after 30 happy years David Hasselhoff came along and tore it down singing a song in a blinking leather jacket. Sad. So sad.
@Burak Coskun maybe we should try Trump's wall here also? The population, especially our eastern fellows will be happy. So happy. Tremendously happy. Some folks even loved the old wall that much so they lost their lives while trying to see it from the other side.
@Burak Coskun "stop" is hardly accurate
The sarcasm is basically smellable
this isn't Germany, you must have been born on the communist side I see
😂 Mein Gott, David Hasselhoff in einer glänzende Jacke.... ich fühle mich wieder jung.
I think that we should each send Trump a Lego wall building kit. That way, he can build his own stupid wall. It will keep him busy until the end of his term (and then some) and it will keep him out of our hair for a long, long time.
That would require the attention span of a 6-year-old.
Alphabet blocks
@@jandrews6254 That is closer to his level, but they might be more effective with pictures on them instead.
That pong joke XD!!
Did you notice on the bounce back the immigrant got a green card?
Must be working for trump...….
Oh!!!! It rejected him!
don't leave us this long ever again, stephen.
Amen!
He’s about as entertaining as tree bark
Welcome back, Stephen! We missed ya!^^
@@bobstevens2888 yet you managed to come here, listen and leave a comment. you brave human, you.
OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BREATHE! THE PONG, I'M DYING!
Don't go away sooooo long we missed you too much!!!!!!
Welcome back! Surprise!! Wall still not built 😂
Make my nights great again stephen
This made me smile.
😅😅😅😅😅😅 Thank you.... us Brits have nobody to cheer us up over the chaotic mess of Brexit, but at least I can come here, and get a little light relief from the chaos in the US!! I swear, I will wake up one day, and everything will be back to normal over here, and the US will have a president that the world can be proud of again!
I missed you Stephen. Thank goodness you're back
Funny how Trump referenced a show where the main character is a hero for letting the immigrants through the giant wall and across the border.
And they try to keep the white people out 😲
Also maybe someone should point out that The Wall didn’t actually keep the wildlings out. Part of the Night’s Watch job was to fend of wildling attacks AFTER they’d gotten around the wall. The wall was only effective on the guys that couldn’t use boats or swim and even then they broke it down within a few years of putting a plan into action.
Wait! Trump knows what a Gazebo is! Since when did he take vocabulary lessons?
7:13 I'm a pastry chef, I'll make him a cannoli he can't refuse!