DID: How Parts React
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- Опубликовано: 10 ноя 2024
- In this video from The CTAD Clinic, Dr Mike Lloyd (Clinic Director) discusses what can happen when a trigger event occurs, and different parts/alters within #otherspecifieddissociativedisorder #osdd and #dissociativeidentitydisorder #did react in different ways
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OMG, this JUST happened to me. One perceived abandonment potential. The little is "We're gonna die!" The other is "F**k that, Im outta here!" The other is "I will never have a safe life...I suck" etc. All of their emotions swimming around at once. Then i had to call a time-out and fugure out what was really going on. So exhausting.
wow - - -that's so familiar!
Your time out was probably just what was needed. Brava!!
My boyfriend and my system were out at a Walmart a year ago. As we were leaving, we saw a man who reminded us of one of our abusers. We made it to the car. The body started crying, then numbed out. Soon after a little fronted and bit my boyfriend’s arm. The host came back. Our boyfriend told us what we did. This was one of the moments that led us to look into DID. We thought before it was just dissociation, but it obviously wasn’t.
My response to perceived "threats or triggers" is to hide. To isolate myself from everyone and everything....maybe that is the flight response, I don't know. But being alone, isolated, and emotionally turned off to the world around me, is the only way we can all feel safe. Then I punish myself with negative thoughts and actions...The fact of the matter is, those of us with DID, are damaged beyond repair, and the fight to "learn and understand and accept DID" is extremely hard and difficult...especially when my/our parts are in constant conflict with the reality of the world. I am only speaking for myself, and my DID only. It is so hard getting over "feeling like a freak" in society....The best place for me is to isolate, cut myself off from everything and everybody and keep my mouth, my thoughts, my fears my insecurities and my self-hate to myself. Learning and understanding the level of abuse in my life, being cut off from family because I spoke up about the severe abuse I endured and being called a liar, trying to navigate 8 personalities, is a monumental task, and I have no one to talk to...DID=loneliness.
You’re not alone, I know those feelings well, hang on in there, try imagining good friends from afar who understand your struggle, we are going through the same, we reach out to you, hold your hand, we walk beside you every day ❤️
Great video! Having different and sometimes opposite reactions internally can be a confusing experience. In the future, would you be willing to do a video about EMDR and DID (as in special considerations when doing EMDR)? Thanks so much, your channel is incredibly helpful!
Specific triggers activate specific sections of my brain. Different sections of my brain are where my different parts live. How I react relies on which part of my brain gets activated and which part lives there.
I understand what you're describing, it is quite similar for me. I can feel from where in my brain which of them is slipping into the driver's seat from.
When different parts talk inside, I can feel it in different parts of my brain in real time.
This is so helpful. I get the impression different parts are in certain areas of my brain. Been trying to map my inner world but it gets confusing because I feel things in my brain and spine. I think for now I will try to use the brain as a conceptual model for my inner world.
@@ronibaker9262 I feel them in specific ares of my body depending on who has been activated, but if I pay attention I can sometimes sense which part of my brain is active. It's so difficult for people who don't experience this to understand it.
I’m gradually learning to pause my instincts to automatically switch, and take time to evaluate the threat. Even though I’m not always successful I’ve made good progress.
If you can control a switch, then you are doing very well. Many people with DID automatically switch. As in fractions of a second. No time to assess.
@@Cathy-xi8cb With therapy one can hopefully regain ones life and make deliberate decisions but it can take time and (in my case) a lot of therapy sessions.
This was very well spoken on Mike. DID is so complex and so complicated that not having a deep understand of it or understanding the brain itself, can be quite confusing. But once you really put the work into it and find a very caring dr or therapist. It can be like starting over into a whole new life, but as a whole human. The first thing i noticed, is loving myself and everything that is a support on my end. Thank you so much for sharing Mike.
Oh Mike, this is so helpful! It explains why trigger reactions might feel/ look chaotic... I've wondered why they come across as so unhelpful - I've been treating them like one big, odd response when the reality is that there are multiple responses going on.
Mixed feeling, is my normal state. Took work to know this. Great info 🙏. 👁️👁️
Thank you!
How do we keep missing these uploads! This one in particular was very insightful, I always love getting to look at the nuts and bolts of things.
We've tried for years now to expose alters to a variety of situations to make them more resilient/adaptable. This approach has had its limits, so now we're working on voluntary switching skills to supplement what we've already learned.
Thank you very much. This explains much of what I've experienced with her. The freeze response led me to both protect/intervene and avoid triggering it at all costs. I avoided anything I perceived as potentially triggering. This meant I couldn't address or move towards emotional intimacy.
Also, in our dissolution agreement, she put a no contact clause. To protect myself, I insisted it be applied unilaterally. I once saw her and she had a fawn response. I was terrified and fled. It's quite confusing for me as alters are contacting me-part of her trauma was being spied upon by her mother. They're good friends, occasional lovers (emotionally), and erstwhile caretakers [I've a history of emotional neglect].
So, I'm wondering:
What I can do to provide an ideal condition should I happen to see her again in person?
I don't believe she's currently aware of her condition. I feel obligated to assist her with being diagnosed. I've sort of put my life on hold to remain in the same city far from family/friends
Thank you for this. I understand the term fawn now, it's not confusing anymore. I did that my whole life....i fawned so much, i have DID. I did the other responses too, but they got me nowhere.
This is very helpful, thank you. This is a great explanation of how different parts react in different ways. Sometimes my mind is in over 10 places at once from a single trigger- like one part was fine, another got sick, another got sad- so I can sorta relate to this DID experience. But i just dont know if i got DID or something else on the dissociation spectrum
This makes a lot of sense. And explains why sometimes the same trigger can pull out different alters.
Could you explain how this works for so called "positive triggers" (if their even really triggers tbh) like why playing certain music or engaging with a certain activity can sometimes be enough to cause some alter to front? Despite no implied or real threat being present?
Great video, as usual 😊
Could you do a vid on the core in DID feeling, well, boring? I feel sometimes like I’m a husk and that all of my alters are so much more interesting than me, and that people prefer them to me.
Thank you for another video!
Is it possible for there to be action systems that play out longer patterns? So maybe there’s the initial one to seeing the person in the supermarket, but then it continues into reactions and responses to people in your life over the next few days because of emotions or something that got triggered as well?
Not sure if I’m using the right words to explain…
I know you can’t comment specifically.
As I’m trying to notice what goes on for me, it seems there are definite behaviour patterns - not sure which parts what - but it’s not as easy an example. And it’s quite a larger, longer response? Only starting to see it after the fact.
So had a psychiatrist appointment, many reasons it didn’t go great, but the dr pulled out a certain reference book at one point in order to write a script. My father used this book. There was a clocking of it at the time, but only in retrospect am I looking at it thinking it was the kick off? Because I thought I was fine. Innocuous thing really. There was no instant reaction, I thought, except the definite clocking of it and an uncomfortable feeling?
But following that, over the next week, played out responses and reactions to people around me. Not chosen responses. Almost all in a haze. Definitely relational. And only weeks later as things calmed down do I see the ‘oh it’s happened again’.
It’s hard to explain without many details, or try and put it in a more generalised way to explain…
I guess, can the action system responses to a thing be a complex behavioural response that plays out over days or weeks?
Or are they more instant and then done?
Or maybe is it both, depending on the individual?
And if this is too specific to answer or comment on, that’s ok. lol I didn’t do well of explaining!
Thank you for the videos and sharing the information.
You are most welcome. I think when n action system is triggered under stress, it can flow down through the various layers, generating longer term responses (see video on layering).
@@thectadclinic thank you for replying. Very kind. Yes, I remember your layering video. And might re watch your action system ones too.
I’ve experienced this very thing. Still trying to figure this all out for myself. It’s all so confusing and my dissociation doesn’t always allow certain parts to absorb this kind information.
We also experience the longer term responses as stimuli and triggers filter down through the system. I think, for us, it may have to do with how unbearably covert we had to be, and/or the size of our inner worlds and number of alters (3 complex inner worlds with hundreds of alters).
@@progressnotperfection1839 thank you for replying and sharing, I really appreciate it
Wonderful information as always! 💙
I was wondering if you could do a video on the reemergence of traumatic memories, particularly ones that are physical sensations, as one proceeds further into trauma processing therapy? We've been doing somatic experiencing therapy for the past few months with an awesome new therapist who specializes in CPTSD, and these kinds of sensations are surfacing, sometimes forcefully, as we start processing trauma.
Great video, thanks! It's a great help to know it's not a chaotic response but a logical one (of course, what else!). Having that knowledge has already helped me stay calmer in tricky situations...
Could you do a video on polyfragmentation and the different types of internal systems organisation? Thanks!
Thank you for another great video! I have a question though.
It’s not only with triggers that activate different parts- it’s with EVERYTHING.
We’ve come quite a long way therapeutically in integrating/gaining access to each others emotional spac and to learn to coexist and work together to a certain extent. So I see progress- b u t this whole area of everyone reasoning in different ways concerning the same topic (say decide on to make a move or not from one house to another) is EXTREMELY debilitating in every day life. Before everyone acted on their own, and I as a protector had to come out and clean up the mess.
Nowadays we have enough access and cooperation for no one to be allowed to make bigger decisions on their own- such as shopping, moving, etc. So that’s good. But we also don’t get around to making any decisions in every day life. How can we start making balanced decisions where everyone is heard? The dialogue is there but the decision making is not. Who’s ultimately going to decide? I used to rule us with an iron hand when gaining control but after having accessed the others I don’t roll like that anymore. (Plus the results of my rigid thinking were not always that great either).
And what we communicate with support around us differ so much that people express they get confused and don’t understand how to support us. Because what they get from the different parts vary SO much. One is naive, gullable, care free and optimistic. While I’m skeptic, negative and careful. I GET that our support system gets confused and don’t know how to be supportive in that.
Could you please make a video on this?
Best regards!
Thank you Dr Mike 😊
I am diagnosed with CPTSD and I’ve recently discovered I have parts. I’ve been rather confused about CPTSD parts and alters. I’ve done every trauma response and experience amnesia with all but three. I’m really starting to think it’s more than CPTSD going on
I’m a first-year psychology student in Poland but i study in english, I’m on bachelors degree module and what actually inspired me to study psychology was my interest in DID, I would love to finish my masters outside of Poland, my question is: Where exactly should I study to get the best knowledge and what masters degree should I choose so that the knowledge i gain will be most useful for me in the future working with individuals with DID?
Learn from the people WITH DID. You can read all about it, but until you learn from the survivors, it’s not going to really cut it. Dissociation is no joke, and DID is hell to work through and try to function in life.
Why do we internally replay/reenact types of abuse that has happened to us? You know how there are sometimes parts that play out abuse specifically? For us its like there's parts that trauma is replayed/reenacted on even if it doesn't make sense that that part would do that to them. Why do we have this?
@@orbismworldbuilding8428 it can one of the most awful aspects of this condition. Sometimes they ‘reenact’ in order to communicate what has happened, to be heard, witnessed and for the trauma to be known. I can’t say if that is happening in your case, and can only hope you have some support to help you through this.
My girlfriend has 7 alters. One loves me romantically, 2 others view me as a best friend, 3 have no real feelings either way, and one dislikes me immensely. Why is there such a dramatic difference between the alters on how they feel about me? Could you please explain why this would be? It's very confusing.
Thought experiment; you meet 7 people in a room, all different ages and ways of moving through life, some of them have had awful experiences that left them feeling unsafe in the world. What is the likelihood these 7 individuals will respond to you OR EACH OTHER in an identical manner?
It is part of the dissociative purpose and it is the reason for calling it "disorder". Different alters can have dramatically different viewpoints. In that way the person survived some traumatic events from childhood. An example that is not so drastic as yours is that alters can have different taste for clothes and "fight" some mornings about what to wear. It is like that for me/us; The discussion can be: "I'd love to wear that dress" "Wearing a dress is silly, shame on you" "That dress is to short! You look rediculous" and changing clothes in the morning can take some time.. Dr Mike has made a couple of videos about having a partner with DID. Perhaps you find some answers there.
@@microdosenyc4515This is a great explanation. Yep. All my alters/parts have different life experiences with people, and thus respond differently to even the same person. Some may have good experiences with that person, and others may have terrible experiences with that person, and thus react maybe with hatred and/or distrust.
One alter can manage being around my childhood abuser, because they didn’t experience the abuse directly. She has been able to calmly confront him on some things and been fine.
Others literally shake with anger and/or feel like throwing up or running away from him. Child alters/parts, usually.
I just look at him and am like “What an idiot he was to mess with me. I won’t even waste my time with his BS.”
Thanks Dr. Mike. Cannot seem to settle myself. At some point can you speak about demonization and its severe detriment to progress and healing ??? 💙👊
What do you mean by ‘demonisation’?
And thing is do not understand the big frown that comes up. My sick to stomach feeling. There is anger and a rage that is frightening yet no actual memory. Believe I’m dealing with intrauterine or infant wo words ??? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Thanks again as always for your videos 💙💞👊👊
So parts only come out when threatened or more than that???
Thank you for this video!
You are so welcome!
💜
Can you make a video on what happens when someone is abused as a child by a parent, moves away from the trauma with the other parent and it's like it never even happened, and then later as an adult they return to live with the parent and everything comes up again?
Returning to live with an abuser might be less safe than being in a homeless shelter. For your child parts, consider it. They want to be safe.
If we are also suffering from autistic symptoms, then does the whole system has autism or only some parts?
Autism is a developmental, neurological disorder, so it affects your entire brain, and the rest of your nervous system too. In general, mental disorders present in "the body" will be present in every part, though not always in the same ways or to the same degrees. Autism especially has this because it's not purely psychological. That being said, different parts may have different displays of autistic traits, even contradictory displays, and may lack some.
This is my best guess from reading about dissociation, autism, and experiencing both of those things. I hope it answers your question in the mean time before Dr. Lloyd can respond definitively, as I am nowhere close to a person educated in psychology beyond what has been necessary for my own mental health journey.
Have a good day!
@@Atjw3343 Thank you for sharing your thoughts and opinion with me. I do agree with you for the same reason you mentioned. The reason why I asked is because I think that from all of us, it‘s eventually me who shows the autistic symptoms in a more intense way. I can‘t imagine that specially one of our littles has them, too. That‘s why I asked. And yet, I do agree with you.
@@Atjw3343 I think, at the moment these autistic symptoms are more intense than normally is because I‘ve got massive stress. And that‘s normally me who deals with this kind of stress. So therefore it‘s logical that it‘s also me who suffers from more intense autistic symptoms than my other parts because when they are out that kind of stress that I‘m dealing with is reduced.
This reply is spot on, really. While the entire system may be autistic, certain parts could develop extremely proficient coping systems to ‘pass’, or have deep vulnerabilities to the harshest parts of being autistic, and the stress generated could develop larger reactions.
👏🏻
I don’t have DID, „only” diagnosed cptsd but strongly suspect p-DID soooo could you do more videos about this disorder? There’s not much educational content as it’s quite new diagnosis. Maybe sth about how intrusions work in p-DID? They are listed in ICD-11 as “cognitive, affective, perceptual, motor, or behavioural” but maybe more information how they present would be helpful for people like me. Also are there any good scientific articles about how p-DID is formed, is it (like in DID) only during first years of life or maybe could be like till 12-13 years old? I’d love to See or read more resources about it.
Thank you for the clarity of this video. After a life with this compartmentalisation, I have some issues with being overwhelmed with emotions and memories when I meet a "trigger". I understand I am not in danger, but still feel uncomfortable. I have to do things in slowmotion, almost, to be able to take in what is happening in a situation. When I'm not sucessful, I usually find myself having lost my watch. It is as if I try to control time that way, as though that "triggering" thing never happened. Is this issue with time related to having DID? It follows with amnesia, I usually never find my watch again, and is forced to buy a new one. Perhaps they are all hidden on the same place so I will find them one day. (I wish, but most likely they are not)
The slow motion thing makes sense, when acutely stressed, time gets very strange.
❤❤❤
Thank you for your videos, Dr. Mike. Your videos have helped us get to where we are in our healing. As you've helped 100s of others, I'm sure.
Just at the end you state 'learn to do it right'. So we are doing it wrong. The attitude of doing something wrong is upsetting
It's not the way you took it. Listen again. I listened a couple times and I think he meant that the triggered system is handling this in a chaotic and confusing way.... and that doesn't help us and by helping get this better, we will have it right. Hope this helped clarify.
The phrase was ‘and it can be very chaotic and confusing until it learns how to do it right’, meaning the dissociative brain needs to learn how to assess and respond to situations better, not you! The traumatised brain is tricked by triggers (think optical illusions), and needs help organising itself differently, which is a goal of therapy.
I heard it the wrong way too, thanks for clarifying.
I do things wrong every day, all day. Therapy can help you decrease your distress over doing things wrong. No catastrophizing, no all-or-none thinking, etc. Being wrong is the human condition. Traumatic childhoods teach us that it is deadly to be wrong. It isn't.
@@Cathy-xi8cbThank you for your words, they are very helpful & incredibly powerful.