how to say NO without feeling guilty

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  • Опубликовано: 14 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 115

  • @NatalieMarte
    @NatalieMarte 5 лет назад +72

    I really needed this! I literally can never say no to someone cuz I’ll feel horrible about myself

    • @Lindsweightloss
      @Lindsweightloss 5 лет назад +1

      same here !!

    • @NorthlanderMN
      @NorthlanderMN 5 лет назад

      Buy the book called Too nice for your own good.
      Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes www.amazon.com/dp/0446673862/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_4L9SDbN72W6FJ

  • @melmason2744
    @melmason2744 5 лет назад +97

    This is fantastic. Just one exception:
    NEVER say “no” to coffee. And dog snuggles.
    ...ok two exceptions

  • @Nightsky6823
    @Nightsky6823 5 лет назад +42

    The only place I don't say "no" enough at is at my job. I think that is the most popular place to be a "yes" person, because everyone fears being fired or looked down on by their coworkers/ boss.

  • @sierrahg2204
    @sierrahg2204 5 лет назад +11

    confirmed: kalyn is an immortal and she’s imparting hundreds of years worth of wisdom on us daily. bless 💗

  • @cindyvenema5815
    @cindyvenema5815 5 лет назад +25

    Really like this one.
    I have trouble saying no to extra work at work, or staying longer and even if I already got other things planned I still feel guilty or like I'm not giving my all at work.

    • @BABooks-kv2sl
      @BABooks-kv2sl 5 лет назад +2

      cindy venema me too! I work for myself so I set my own schedule and I feel like since no one sets my schedule I can never say no, because there is no buffer between me and my customers. And I’ve been finding myself giving people discounts when they don’t ask because I’m worried that I’m asking too much of people.

  • @ThePrayerfulBride
    @ThePrayerfulBride 5 лет назад +1

    I recently started seeing a therapist and she said i need to set boundaries with my mom. We don’t have the best relationship. I just sent the text with my boundaries got on here and saw this. I needed this my anxiety started kicking after i hit send. It’s okay to say no. I want to be able to say no without explaining why i said no i usually explain myself so the person doesn’t feel so bad.

  • @natashaw2373
    @natashaw2373 5 лет назад +1

    I love this !! I found myself thinking "I need to say NO to myself as well.. NO when my mind wants to procrastinate, NO when I my mind says you have no motivation, No when I start 2nd guessing my goals or dreams !! Thank you for posting this video today ❤

  • @JudyAbbott494
    @JudyAbbott494 5 лет назад +4

    Pheobs was the master of this when Ross asked her to help him moving out, as far as I can remember, she went "Oh I wish I could but I don't want to" .. I just live her attitude in every aspect ♥♥😂

    • @JudyAbbott494
      @JudyAbbott494 5 лет назад

      I meant love her attitude but both works actually 😂

  • @jeimypaoladeviamaradey9894
    @jeimypaoladeviamaradey9894 5 лет назад +29

    Thank you for your effort with your content! It is amazing, and we value that! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @anaisaarzola9416
    @anaisaarzola9416 5 лет назад +6

    Hi Kalyn, I wish I watched this before going and saying "no" to my sister lol. We got into a big argument because she made me feel like I needed to justify and explain myself.. Needless to say, it ended with me storming away after she began criticizing me. It's hard when you still get questioned for your decisions, even though you feel it's the right one. Anyways, this video made me feel a bit better. Thanks :)

  • @PrettyRecklessBarbie
    @PrettyRecklessBarbie 5 лет назад +14

    Your hair looks super cute!

  • @allyd945
    @allyd945 5 лет назад +11

    Girl! Drop that makeup look video & please show us how to to those waves! You hair looks amazing!! ✨✨💕🙌🏼👑👑💕 sending ❤️ from MTL 🇨🇦

  • @FrenchGrey
    @FrenchGrey 5 лет назад

    Your channels are like an anchor for me , they anchor me back to myself and make sure that I see light and have patience and power to endure it 💜

  • @candideer9122
    @candideer9122 9 месяцев назад

    This is very helpful. I was raised to be a people pleaser, so it's been very hard to say no as an adult, especially to my family. The amount of anxiety that I feel when they invite me over to dinner and I don't want to go is astronomical. I will try to keep this advice in mind as I'm moving forward. By the way, I just found this channel and you seem so genuine. Thank you for being you. ❤️☺️

  • @bhavyabansal5650
    @bhavyabansal5650 5 лет назад +16

    Kalyan! You are like the best best thing that has happened to RUclips! You’re just amazing beyond words. Love from India .

  • @patriciapires852
    @patriciapires852 5 лет назад +1

    I needed this so much! Saying endless yes is burning us out! Will def try saying more true no's this week, thank you so much! ♥️ Loooove this lipstick of yours! Kisses from Brazil 😘😘😘

  • @ianvenegas8863
    @ianvenegas8863 5 лет назад

    Kalyn!!! I need for you to enlighten me with your wisdom!! There are toxic people in my life that I’ve been trying to push them out but they are resisting to just get out of my life. Giving me so much negative drama that I do not need. Love you and thank you for all your daily videos and your weekly podcast 💖💖

  • @ankitalodh5062
    @ankitalodh5062 5 лет назад +10

    Literally said no to someone and was contemplating my decision. You’re s goddess Kalyn❤️

    • @happinesss2
      @happinesss2 5 лет назад

      saaaaaame "you don't owe anyone anything or an explanation" kalyn preeeaaaach
      this video was great at silencing my stupid brain after saying no xD

  • @happinesss2
    @happinesss2 5 лет назад +1

    this was insanely relevant haha just today I got a sudden, random request that I said no to. I'm good at saying no but after, always, without fail, and for quite a time, I feel guilty and keep replaying my reasons in my head as if I'm in the wrong or something. I shouldn't have to rationalize my decision to not do something I didn't want to do just for the other person's sake, so I quickly turned on this video in my watch later list and loved it :) thanks!

  • @alexwheeler4355
    @alexwheeler4355 5 лет назад +3

    Totally remember requesting this and thank you so much for following through! You are amazing ❤️

  • @mschrisfrank2420
    @mschrisfrank2420 5 лет назад +1

    I feel so guilty for turning down overtime on the weekends, especially when everyone else is excited for it. Even though I know that I need my weekends to refresh and refill my cup, saying no is still hard. And while I’m trying to not give explanations, my coworkers often ask why I’m saying no.

  • @user-ep8bk5ku6g
    @user-ep8bk5ku6g 5 лет назад +8

    I totally agree with what Kalyn said about today's world being way too sensitive.

  • @fizzy_momo873
    @fizzy_momo873 5 лет назад

    I think also learning how to discriminate between yes’s and no’s is important and asking the reason for either answer at least to yourself. I’m not in a place where I understand what direction I want to go so this aspect is important for me to understand my choices

  • @Islamacd
    @Islamacd 3 года назад +1

    perfect timing it showed up in my recommended and i really needed it

  • @newnomadic4566
    @newnomadic4566 5 лет назад

    I needed to see/hear this. I've been facing a lot of social pressure to say yes to certain things and events that don't line up with my values. And I felt so guilty for saying no....... but in the end it felt right for me. Thanks Kalyn!

  • @pankhurisaxena
    @pankhurisaxena 5 лет назад +1

    Hey. I really love your videos and I have been following you since 2016. I simply want to thank you for being there on RUclips and this idea of daily Brew is just wonderful. You are seriously making difference in people's lives, my life. I always look up to your advice whether it's focus, anxiety, time management, belief or even just living each day regardless of all adversities. Right now, I am having a little hard time and this SELF-LOVE SEPTEMBER just arrived as a blessing when I'm so down. And everything about this whole thing is just amazing. Love you so much! Keep creating. ❤

  • @sofiaa_6343
    @sofiaa_6343 5 лет назад

    Thank you Kaylin! I really needed this, I‘m such a people pleaser and sometimes I even annoy myself because I just can‘t say „No“ to anything! This really inspired me though to make the right decisions what I want to say yes or no to💞

  • @savannabrewton9566
    @savannabrewton9566 5 лет назад

    Living for this topic, this makeup look, that hair 😍❤️!! This whole video is exactly what I needed!

  • @ola333221
    @ola333221 5 лет назад +2

    I love how you catch yourself repeating certain phrases too much, but still say them, while owning it. Also, your videos are amazing lately, you have become my favourite person on YT this past year 💙🙏

  • @emilyroseellis
    @emilyroseellis 5 лет назад +2

    Also, I have been listening to books on Audible about assertiveness for the last few days - had to quit a job for the first time. So this is right on que.
    Thank you always. 😘

  • @BiaSecretsModa
    @BiaSecretsModa 5 лет назад

    Thank you for talking about this. I'm going to college and in my country there's this tradition to do some activities with new students. It can be really funny but I never felt comfortable with the idea of me getting dirty and having someone screaming in my ears. This video helped me realizing that even though my friends are all excited to go to participate in those activities I'm not

  • @sarahjamie6871
    @sarahjamie6871 5 лет назад +1

    I adore you, but I really really miss the day in a life videos, routines, videos that used to motivate me to the core and I'd watch them and want to just get up and out !!!! 🌾 I hope you'll do some for fall time.. decorating, shopping, fitness, day in the life etc... 🍂

  • @destinyddf16
    @destinyddf16 5 лет назад +13

    Kalyn, we really need to know what lipstick you’ve been wearing for this video and your last one. Feel free to say “no” though ;)

  • @JaninaLou
    @JaninaLou 5 лет назад

    Omg this is perfect Timing. Even though I ve still got summer vacation I feel so burned out lately! I just can’t say no to people cause I don’t wanna disappoint them and my FOMO is really big as well. But one thing I will say NO to now is: my dream of being part of a musical. Cause I love to dance and sing but I have a bigger dream as well: being a fashion designer (I currently study fashion design). But I could never enjoy fashion cause I kept thinking of this other dream. It distracted me. Your video showed me that if I say NO to musical, it won’t take sth away from me, it will bring me more joy with fashion ♥️ Lots of love from Germany, I think I am a subscriber of yours since 2012 or sth now and I still love your videos! 😊

  • @mirandaonmain
    @mirandaonmain 5 лет назад

    I agree that we are living in a yes world. There is such a negative connotation around saying no. Sometimes you have to say no for yourself

  • @tabithasuzuma
    @tabithasuzuma 5 лет назад +1

    Well, 100+ years ago, women in particular didn’t have nearly as many choices as we do now, like you said. But it wasn’t just that they had to say yes to every opportunity because they had so few. That was true in certain avenues to a certain extent, for example in cases of employment. They also had to say yes to a lot of things they might well have wanted to say no to. Yes to marrying the men their fathers chose for them. Yes to not marrying the men they truly loved because they were poorer or of a lower class than the women came from. Yes to staying at home and raising the children instead of going to work and being allowed to do both or either. Yes to never having sex before marriage. If they were allowed to work, then saying yes to a lower wage than their male counterparts. Yes to being patronised, sexually harassed and mistreated by men in the workplace. Yes to staying married to men who were abusive or adulterers or just plain cruel. Yes to having their newborn baby taken away if they got accidentally pregnant before marriage. Yes to being locked up in mental institutions, often for life, if they were wilful or behaved in ways unacceptable to current social norms. Yes to being denied the right to education or the vote... The list goes on!
    It was far, far more complex and cruel than just having to say yes more often because choices and opportunities were scarce!
    Also, I agree that nowadays we have the right to say no without giving an explanation - it’s not a criminal offence, but isn’t that in most cases still very hurtful and rude? Kalyn, can you honestly say that you’ve ever said ‘thank you but no’ to any friend’s dinner invite or request for a favour or help? And is saying no without explanation really appropriate in most situations? Or in the workplace? If a guy is pestering you or a stranger comes up to you and asks you out, THEN I can see it might well be an appropriate reply. But in all situations??
    I was hoping this video would give us some tips on how to say no gracefully, with minimum cruelty and causing minimal hurt or offence, not just be telling us we should say no without explanation whenever we want because that is our right. Swearing at people is also our right but does that mean we should go about doing it? What about commenting negatively on people’s appearance? All rights that we retain under the freedom of speech act, but doesn’t mean they are morally right or things we should be encouraged to do! Switch the situation around and ask yourself: how would you feel if people regularly started saying no to all your suggestions or invitations or requests for help or advice, without ever giving you a reason? Would that make for a pleasant life??
    If you go around advising young people to say no without an explanation, as you’re doing here, you’re not empowering them, you’re simply turning them into rude people who are going to find themselves in a very sad situation when it comes to their turn to issue invites or requests for help to the same people they’ve previously said no to in such a rude and off-hand way. I’m not saying anyone is entitled to a lengthy explanation as to why we choose to say no, but surely ‘thank you but no, I’m afraid I’m just too busy right now’ doesn’t take much more effort and at least leaves the other person feeling ok about the rejection of whatever they were asking for.

  • @lezliepedral4529
    @lezliepedral4529 5 лет назад +1

    Cuando dices sí, también estás diciendo No a algo más... parte favorita 💕🌻

  • @Lindsweightloss
    @Lindsweightloss 5 лет назад +1

    I tend to find it quite hard to say 'no' to people, simply because I don't want to disappoint them. But, everyone of us has the right to say yes or no, and we shouldn't feel guilty about it :) Have a wonderful day to you all !!

  • @presentlymine
    @presentlymine 5 лет назад

    I have learnt to say no to people without explain stuff. I have let go of many many people. But I believe it was for the best. If I don't come of a guarantee of a life that will last for forever why not do all things I wish for? Love youuuu.

  • @valenmejia2135
    @valenmejia2135 8 месяцев назад +1

    But also, people need to learn to take a no.

  • @admirbarucija2018
    @admirbarucija2018 5 лет назад +3

    I needed this, you’ve quickly become one of my favorite channels!! ❤️❤️

  • @LesleyFerrell
    @LesleyFerrell 5 лет назад +2

    I need to remind myself that saying "no" is saying "yes" to something else. I wish I'd said no to my job because now I'm basically in charge and I feel like I can never leave now.

    • @muffinonion888
      @muffinonion888 5 лет назад +1

      Lesley Ferrell thank you for this comment! This made me feel so much better about my no!!

    • @LesleyFerrell
      @LesleyFerrell 5 лет назад

      @@muffinonion888 I'm glad it helped you feel better :)

  • @jenna4678
    @jenna4678 5 лет назад

    Thank you for this. 1:30 seconds in and you’ve already made lightbulbs go off. Ok back to the video. Love your videos. Love from FL. ❤️❤️❤️

  • @ThyBookie
    @ThyBookie 5 лет назад +4

    Girl you need to write another advice book. You good

  • @ahanachakraborti1802
    @ahanachakraborti1802 5 лет назад +1

    Your videos make me feel so motivated !! thanks for this support. you say we support you, but it is vice-versa as well. thanks for being there, always. Love always.

  • @marylou1726
    @marylou1726 5 лет назад

    This is so true. We have to be selective!

  • @MissAllaCinderella
    @MissAllaCinderella 5 лет назад

    Binged some of your videos I missed these past few weeks- you’re always so on point with everything! Always SUCH a balanced view👍🏻.

  • @HarryThomasPictures
    @HarryThomasPictures 5 лет назад

    This daily brew was amazing, I totally agree, on occasions it’s best to be kind and honest at the same time and know when it’s okay to say no☕️❤️🧡✨!

  • @Itsamytarie
    @Itsamytarie 5 лет назад

    This is great advice that I will start to implement into my life ! thank you

  • @spookyvintage13
    @spookyvintage13 5 лет назад

    This was definitely needed! Thank you!

  • @emilytess5313
    @emilytess5313 5 лет назад +3

    Kalyn off topic but what lipstick is that! its gorgeous!

  • @Thefitty
    @Thefitty 5 лет назад +9

    For me, I have to work on *how to say yes to some aspects of my life! Can you do a talk on that? Does anyone else relate?*

    • @Dreamyflowerfields
      @Dreamyflowerfields 5 лет назад

      Yep! Same here 🙋

    • @Thefitty
      @Thefitty 5 лет назад

      @@Dreamyflowerfields glad I'm.not the only one
      What do you have trouble saying yes to?

    • @Dreamyflowerfields
      @Dreamyflowerfields 5 лет назад

      @@Thefitty usually I'm kinda afraid to say yes to some plans and I just say maybe because I don't want to break promises.. But also because I make some scenarios in my head about all the possible ways things could go wrong and say no... I've so much to learn 🙈 how about you? 😊

    • @Thefitty
      @Thefitty 5 лет назад

      @@Dreamyflowerfields I totally hear You! Instead of cosuing on the negative what ifs, I focus on the positive what ifs! Envisioning positive vibes manifests positive things :)

  • @emilyroseellis
    @emilyroseellis 5 лет назад +1

    OMG. You are the cutest.
    I love how you mixed the words scarce and sparse and made your own word ~ scarse. It's like pirate scarce. " The rum was a wee bit scarse!" 🥰🙌😏

  • @lilymaimulgrew4079
    @lilymaimulgrew4079 5 лет назад +1

    you're so pretty and so educated, giving good points!

  • @noura95__20
    @noura95__20 5 лет назад +2

    Thank you for posting this video ♥️ this helped me a lot

  • @erinlambert5100
    @erinlambert5100 5 лет назад

    I honestly really needed this. Thanks

  • @va_lerina
    @va_lerina 5 лет назад

    Beautiful! Just what I needed! 💗✨

  • @tanyapalaci9696
    @tanyapalaci9696 5 лет назад

    I SO needed this! I am such a people pleaser and it can be really hindering at times. Also... what’s the name of that jumper?!?!! Love it!!!

  • @marinakhalaf446
    @marinakhalaf446 5 лет назад

    this hairstyle and makeup perfectly fits you

  • @samsaraparchment
    @samsaraparchment 5 лет назад

    I really love the new intro for this new set of koze chronicles! That little moon shaped tray is to die for. I just love the whole layout ❤️

  • @kaseyspohn8302
    @kaseyspohn8302 5 лет назад +1

    This came into my life at the perfect time. Thank you for making this. Much love.

  • @nashwahago1702
    @nashwahago1702 5 лет назад

    This couldn’t have come at a more perfect time ❤️

  • @emilym7517
    @emilym7517 5 лет назад

    Ooo this was a perfectly timed one (again. Like always). I’d love to see a video on yoga, especially for beginners. You’ve really inspired me 😍! Also maybe another “how to slay the rest of 2019” like last year!

  • @triviastaehyung
    @triviastaehyung 5 лет назад

    i desperately needed this video in my life oh my god, i'm so bad with saying no

  • @14GlitterDoll
    @14GlitterDoll 5 лет назад

    can you make one about growing apart from friends? how to be ok alone?

  • @tinycasa
    @tinycasa 5 лет назад

    Omg, thank you so much for this video! I really needed this!

  • @gracegreen9584
    @gracegreen9584 5 лет назад

    you need to come out w shirts that say “at the end of the day” !! i would totally get one 😂💓💓

  • @0528Lynn
    @0528Lynn 5 лет назад

    Loved the video 💕 I want to work on saying no more to things I don’t want to do, without feeling guilty

  • @FudgieMunkiez
    @FudgieMunkiez 5 лет назад

    Omgjdbdhd definitely perfect timing 😭 I just quit my job and watched a video on a similar topic by Lavendaire! You both help so much tysm 😌💜✊🏼

  • @maritapreka2550
    @maritapreka2550 5 лет назад

    Damn, Kalyn is BACK and I am ready for it!! ❤️❤️

  • @JG-di8oi
    @JG-di8oi 5 лет назад

    Thank you! ❤❤❤

  • @katiaperez7406
    @katiaperez7406 5 лет назад

    I am slowly learning to do this. Its hard but also very relieving

  • @aprilbrooks
    @aprilbrooks 5 лет назад

    I’m so happy I found your channel last fall ♥️

  • @deekship7994
    @deekship7994 5 лет назад

    I really found a good channel . I believe in the same concepts like I know but I just don't put it much to use . I guess I'm lazy then , that I have to figure out . Anyways , thanks a lot for the video ❤️

  • @presentlymine
    @presentlymine 5 лет назад

    Omgggg. I love you kalyn. You're honestly my soul sister. 💜

  • @EvaAntonia1
    @EvaAntonia1 5 лет назад

    Thank you so much! Sometimes I struggle with this as well:) Even when it isn´t in all aspect of my life but in some, for sure:D

  • @hizo1230
    @hizo1230 5 лет назад +3

    Hey koze, I would love you to show us some of your favorite books,ytb channels and podcasts that affected you positively.with love❤

  • @Dr_Analise
    @Dr_Analise 5 лет назад

    Wow! I had the courage to say no n finally resigned from a job!

  • @kylaplante7249
    @kylaplante7249 5 лет назад +1

    I read a really good book that dives into this called Essentialism by Greg McKeown. Highly recommend for people who are struggling with saying no and what to say no to 🙌

  • @angelslosingsleep09
    @angelslosingsleep09 5 лет назад +1

    I am a yes person through and through. 😅🙈

  • @MaryAnnMarichal
    @MaryAnnMarichal 5 лет назад

    need this video... im so bad at saying no. its something im working on

  • @michellestuckey
    @michellestuckey 5 лет назад

    There should be an All Things Koze shirt that says "At the end of the day...." ;)

  • @neathenerd
    @neathenerd 5 лет назад +3

    You have NO IDEA how much you inspire me!!!😭💕
    P.S. a small RUclipsr xx

  • @cynthialin9918
    @cynthialin9918 5 лет назад +3

    But I always say no without guilty .
    Hahahaha

    • @happinesss2
      @happinesss2 5 лет назад

      girl share your wisdom
      I want that

    • @cynthialin9918
      @cynthialin9918 5 лет назад +1

      @@happinesss2 think if you don't want to do/go something/somewhere, than say no. If you care people's opinions a lot , you won't be happy. Just think about yourself.

  • @_sanskriti.22_
    @_sanskriti.22_ 5 лет назад

    She looks so pretty 😍😍😍❤️

  • @elsamaye
    @elsamaye 5 лет назад

    Sometimes we just want to say « no » to a job offer ! You can’t, if you don’t take it (in France) it’s because you don’t want a job. No matter what the job is about, they don’t care. You’re refusing.

  • @lilymaimulgrew4079
    @lilymaimulgrew4079 5 лет назад

    this is so great and so true!

  • @emilyelizabethfaerie
    @emilyelizabethfaerie 5 лет назад

    this is so important!

  • @sofieg7196
    @sofieg7196 5 лет назад

    In need of a lil advice
    Saw this video a bit too late. Some guy asked if I knew the way to a certain place and then kept chatting for 20 minutes, but then he started about getting a coffee and wanted my number, I didn't want to say no but now he's starting these conversations and help (I feel like he's a bit older and I'm not really getting what he wants out of this and that doesn't feel right), anyone tips? Let the conversation end, just not responding, or is that too rude?

  • @rebeccariddle9537
    @rebeccariddle9537 5 лет назад

    Yess I need this💖

  • @kellylaw9982
    @kellylaw9982 5 лет назад

    ❤️

  • @bentorodrigues4397
    @bentorodrigues4397 5 лет назад

    where i live unfortunately it is still about survive. I live in Brazil, i was born here nevertheless; and here we have low wages payments and incomes.
    We need to work 9hours a day and spend another 2hours at the traffic and win more less 600U$ a month.
    The major part of the population win even less than that.

  • @whitenoise8274
    @whitenoise8274 5 лет назад

    you're such an inspiration
    #goals

  • @EarthlynthsNotes
    @EarthlynthsNotes 5 лет назад

    Love love ❤️❤️

  • @mangoamy
    @mangoamy 5 лет назад

    Oh I’m pretty good at this lol

  • @Morgan-B
    @Morgan-B 5 лет назад

    What is that lip colour?!

  • @sashaayres3635
    @sashaayres3635 5 лет назад

    But...saying no at work could put you at risk of being replaced with someone who will do the job because in jobs you have to be flexible