Narcissistic relationships and psychopathy
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- Опубликовано: 13 июн 2024
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Psychopathy is about and seeks more of:
- POWER
- PROFIT
- PLEASURE
Every psychopath is narcissist but not every narcissis is psychopath, they say
I am so grateful that this information is available to the public now. I went to couples therapy for years and my therapist did not tell me that he was a Narcissist. I would have left years ago if I knew that they do not change
Me too Vicki this is common to not have enough knowledge. I was taught people can always change and that just totally wrong.
Exactly 💯 correct most people don't change. And especially narcissists don't change. I agree with you, so very glad and greatful that the info is out now.
Absolutely! I spent 12 years married to one. I also dated one for a year, until I came across this content. Every single video from Ramani applies to my previous relationships. These videos are what I needed all along.
@@sarag1158 check out RC BLAKES he dives in even deeper. Pure gold content. Do a you tube search for RC BLAKES. He puts it all together like, I have never seen anyone teach what he teaches. But, then I look at my own life and everything that I have suffered and it all makes sense.
It seems quite common that they have little to no knowledge of narcissism or what they term "abnormal psychology," especially in the past, to the point that lay-people had no idea of these things.
My father was spying on my mom when she worked in a school.... He was arrested for looking over the wall of the school with binoculars. Rather than shame and self awareness, he RAGED at my mother for weeks saying it was her fault he was arrested. My mom had to barricade herself into the bathroom with cupboards against the doors for weeks, appease him in the bedroom (rapes, I heard him rape her). Yet still put on the show of "we're a normal happy family" to the outside world........
I have so many stories like this..... Animal abuse, he lied to both me and mom. He incited suicide of several people multiple times, sometimes following us around for months on end telling us to end our lives.
After I left my dad, and went no contact: my life completely changed. All my mental health issues stopped for 20 years. Until now, after a massive life trauma has awoken C-PTSD.
:( It infuriates me how the system enables these monsters, and then punish those who make their own justice. A monster like that shouldn’t even be alive. I can’t even imagine the hell you walked out of, but I’m glad you did. I’m so sorry for how it’s affecting you now. This world is hell.
Did you mother ever leave?
@@Chuleta_9 The system is made up of these monsters.
@@Honeybee-cy9gc Indeed, it’s like we live in a huge narcissistic trap. We’re on our own when it comes to justice.
@@Honeybee-cy9gc Satan is the god of this world
I'm so sorry :'( that sounds so hellish
"In psychopathy, the rage is cold not insecure" (paraphrased).... The rage is truly terrifying.
Indeed it is.
So much more terrifying when they can convince authorities including to police after you signed up for better or for worse each time that it was only an accident.
Narc rage is/was scary as Hell.
@@francesbernard2445 or the psychopath convinced the family doctor you're a problem child and that they're a saint, and it's only when a child psychiatrist & nurse get involved, child protection get alerted, far too late as you're almost 18.... Reading my medical records was very enlightening. My family doctor was fully onboard with my psychopathic father. They truly have everyone fooled.
I had to train myself into a photograph memory to endure my dad's Gaslighting.
I feel like my ex had both the cold rage and the insecure/reactive rage. But the cold rage was a weapon, a tool for manipulation. He delivered it with intention to get a specific outcome. At one point, I figured it out mid argument and called him out for gaslighting me. He admitted to it. Said he was sorry for showing anger to actively try to change my behavior. Then, he further gaslit me by saying that the only reason he did it was because I was so careless that he was afraid I would get hurt if I didn't improve. So he needed to teach me what not to do. I wasn't doing anything abnormal. He's just nuts and liked to punish people.
We need a dr ramani chat group, your viewers seem like amazing people. I want more friends who understood what is going on
Yes!! An official discord server maybe? Also Dr. R....show your fans some love and do a livestream! I would love to talk with her!
@@SSJ0016 not a bad idea, Discord or Telegram would work. A live stream would be great
yes!! where are those people who really get it ?in real life ?its ,like, we talk in another language , in this channel i feel a "we are all in this together " .Thank you dr.Ramani , you make the world a better place .:)
private facebook group
YES, PLEASE!
Being a non-psychopathic parent or sibling to a psychopath must be incredibly hard and painful. Like the narcs, they probably start selecting their victims at home.
Yes, it is. And, yes, they sure do. Life/soul lessons. Sure has helped me to see through all the bs going on in the world today.
**trigger warning**
They do select from home.... I've heard of psychopathology being multigenerational: as in, the head psychopath in the family trains from birth which children to be heir-abusers and which to be heir-victimised.... The abused kids will get told off for not letting the abusive kids abuse them..... So you've got a 5 year old girl told off for not letting a 10 year old boy sexually abuse her, meanwhile the psychopath controls that whole dynamic..... That's at the extreme end. But it happens more subtly with the less extreme psychopaths.
I mean, training a child to be an abuser is abusing that child. But there comes a point where that abusing child is 30, telling his own 5 year old daughter she has to let granddad touch her.
It's a sickening pattern.
That pattern, you'll see the abuser might also pimp out the children.
It's a very very dark nasty horrific form of abuse.
@@msPranksterPixie Thank you for this. I suspected that this happened 😱 I wish you all the best, T
yeah incredibly hard and painful and intimidating and life-destroying. It's pure evil!
Living in this kind of family could feel like a living hell to me ... for years but it is possible to recover 💗 T
A narcissist can still feel remorse even if the only reason for it is because of how their actions towards you impacts THEM and THEIR vision of themselves. Psychopaths don’t have the capacity for remorse as an emotion at all. They might be able to mimic empathy but they don’t “feel” it.
Remorse is what a person feels when they realize they've hurt/harmed someone else not how they feel when they "don't get" what they want!
Bingo. They mimick it, sometimes even believe they feel it, but don't actually feel.... But it's usually a trick to manipulate you further, crocodile tears.
It was a lesson, when my grandfather died (someone my father threatened to kill screaming in his face: my grandfather was 70s, my father 50s, screaming in his face he would kill my grandfather, my mother; he'd kidnapped my brother, and had me effectively getting good by doing sexual favours for shop keepers -- then screened in my grandfather's face he'd kill him).... When my dad found out from stalking me that my grandfather had died, he wrote me this very word salad email saying "I wish you had told me" [I actually hoped he was about to empathise!!] "so I could express **my** grief to you, my loss, and so I could cry on **your** shoulder" [I was stoopid to expect even after him training in counselling/social work this man was capable of successfully mimicking empathy].
The e.ail then went on to threaten my mother's life, over something from 15 years before, and described his stalking of us without him ever once thinking this was a boundary violation, even after court orders.
Yes, a narcissist can have some empathy, and if s/he feels negative emotions like guilt, it triggers the shame-blame-rage cycle. Psychopaths don't really feel emotions relative to empathy.
True Story: After I kicked out my ex, he lived for a period of time with a 'friend' from his youth who he had really only known for a summer. The guy was a single dad. My ex stored stuff in his barn after he left. My ex shows back up the day after the friend's beautiful teen-age daughter had been killed in a car crash. My ex moved right back into his old room and wanted his friend to help him clean out his stuff from the barn, and wouldn't let up on having to get this done in the next day or so. The friend's friend said, "You say the word, and I'll beat the crap out of him." The friend responded, "No, let's just get all his stuff loaded up for him so he can leave." God bless him. He called me a couple of weeks later to tell me the story and apologize for ever thinking ill of me for a moment. His daughter never like my ex and complained to her dad about him. He was a psychopath.
@@karenspencer7815 perfectly said!
narcissist less servere can feel guilty to the point that it can be mental rape in inferiority complex, if it's that bad they really need to hear that it's ok and shit. severe psychopathic narcissism they just feel foolish and stuff in inferiority complex they don't flip over being a bad person
The most vulnerable victims of psychopaths are little children. Can you do a video about psychopathic fathers/parents? And the impact on the child?
Yes, that would be good. My mother was a psychopath (among other labels) and living alone with her was terrifying. It was like living with a cold, manipulative stranger where I was an object to be controlled. If I did not obey, the rage was truly frightening . The only way to survive was to become her slave but there was one place she couldn't get to - the inside - - and so I devoted myself to my education; excelling got to be my ticket out of hell. The irony of it is that, once out, I was physically safe but, as my points of reference widened, and I realised the true extent of the nightmare, I chose many years of CBT to overcome the PTS I was suffering from.
edit fathers out and just put parents
My psychopath abuser died in my arms, I always felt sorry for him , because my mom always told us that he was sick, that he didn’t meant it. I always care for him and I truly love him even though the abuse ( no sexual) was intense and debilitating from an early age. I told him before he die that I forgive him and that i will see him again. I forgiven without he never asking for, maybe in his last minutes he might felt sorry. My mother told him a week before he died that I forgive him already , even though I never told her , I think she knew and she told me she said that to him. I wanted him to heard from my own mouth that I forgive him. So i did , i did from my heart 😢.
@@janeelliot7186 You just described my exact experience. I felt like the child in the movie "White Oleander". Michelle Pfeiffer did a masterful job portraying the psychopathic, narcissistic mother and seeing it through the daughter's eyes was very validating for me. It's difficult to watch and triggered my PTSD, so don't watch if you think it might, but it ultimately helped me turn the corner into no contact. Especially the last scene with the suitcases. God bless you and may you have peace 💜
My husband is a reincarnation of his narcissistic father. A human monster had another human monster...and so on.
I was in something really bad... how could I not see it...
I know what you mean. Was in it for 24 years and thought the problem was with me, that I needed to change.
Don’t blame yourself. Incremental boundary violations, gaslighting & isolation make it nearly impossible to see what’s happening. I think the “boiling a frog” by slowly increasing the heat so it doesn’t notice, is an apt metaphor for these relationships. Seeing the truth & hopefully getting out, at any point, is a major victory
same....it's a cult...hard to really get it until you're out of it.
For me it was knowing there is something incredibly wrong with this individual for him to keep being incarcerated. I thought because of his dysfunctional family and that he lived in poverty things were hard for him. I thought I could help by supporting him emotionally. I was attached and looked past most of his behavior after being overwhelmed and emotionally drained. I just kept hoping things would get better. I created a life for him in my head where he started a business, was happy, and left everything else behind. After watching this video I didn’t even consider psychopathy at the time because I was too busy trying to save him.
Thank you.
Don't waste your time trying to figure them out.
Get out, and don't look back.
Save yourself first.
NO CONTACT
👍💯 I tried everything for years (my daughter), including emailing Dr Hare.. and finally got it that NO CONTACT is the only way.
Psychopaths makes narcissist seem like angles by comparison. A psychopath would most definitely devour a narcissist.
Absolutely. I know 2 female psychopaths
Imagine putting the two of them in an arena and seeing which one comes out Victorious! Realistically it's probably happening right before our eyes and we may not see it! I don't see much angel in the narcissist, however!
@@peterknyk1942 psychopaths are worse believe me . Some might even become serial killers . They don't feel anything. It's all a game for them
Thank you! You are probably right but I have seen a narcissist in my life insidiously attempt to destroy me and my life and everything that I have put together as a human being on this earth!
@@peterknyk1942 be sure to get the diagnosis right
This describes my sister except that she never got in trouble with the law, so got involved with the law so she could control it. It is very very scary to be around.
@@Hi-Phi This is why this world is in such a mess,the wrong people are at the helm.
devilinsportscasual 💯!!
They seek out power everywhere. The "helping" careers are full of them.
I know a few whose coldness and calculated manipulation and punishment and cold rage all fit psychopath except for the lawbreaking. They would if it benefited them but so far they haven't needed to.
@@harmonyvaneaton4101 nursing. Medical. Judges. Police. Social workers. Etc. Extremely dangerous.
You have to be the best teacher. I'm a nurse that works on charts all day so I let your videos just run while I work...you have taught me so much...ps...my first husband is a narcissist...just celebrated my 18 year divorce anniversary...thank you again, even after all these years I still need these affirmations.
@Krishna Patel 🥰
@Krishna Patel 💝💝💝
I've spent my life surrounded by narcissists, and I also dated a sociopath and a psychopath. While narcissists can definitely be scary and frustrating, for me, the sociopath and the psychopath were terrifying. Those two relationships caused so much unbelievable damage. The "good" thing about sociopaths and psychopaths is that they're often so horrible and extreme, you know something is terribly wrong. You know you have to find a way out. With both relationships, I knew within the first week this was dangerous, yet I still went forward and stayed for years. With narcissists, it's often not so easy. You don't realize it until months or years have gone by. You might realize something isn't right very early on, but you don't necessarily see it as "terribly wrong." Getting involved with a sociopath or psychopath is like watching a thriller. You know from the beginning (or near beginning) what you're signing up for, but you still do it anyway. There is constant horror, right down to the music, lighting, and jump scares. Getting involved with a narcissist is a lot more insidious. A lot more confusing. It's hard to identify exactly what that abuse is. It's a lot like watching a covertly racist or sexist movie. Many people may love that film dearly. Insulting the movie may feel like a direct threat to these people. When you try to explain why you have a problem with blackface, white saviors, ridiculous stereotypes, May-December relationships, inappropriate male heroes - you "are being dramatic." "It's just a movie." "You're reading too much into it." "Nobody has ever been harmed by watching a movie." "Movies don't create reality, they just mimic it."
I hesitate to say that psychopathy/sociopathy is inherently worse or more dangerous. It's terrible to be kidnapped and held hostage, but at least with the psychopaths/sociopaths, you know you've been kidnapped. And while you may blame yourself for your own kidnapping, you still at least know the other person is wrong. With narcissism, you may not even know you've been kidnapped. Moreover, you may even believe YOU are the kidnapper.
Some specific examples from my life:
A narcissist will forget your birthday and then make an elaborate show of what they did for some near-stranger's birthday. They will often give you literal trash, wrapped with a bow, as a gift. I once really wanted an expensive KitchenAid mixer but never had the money. I was a very Susie Homemaker type, who cooked and baked daily. My mother bought KitchenAid mixers for every woman in the family (10 of them). "I didn't deserve the KitchenAid, because I would only ruin it." Instead, that Christmas, I got a box full of 30-year old broken pinecones that had once made up a wreath.
A sociopath will propose to you, take his wife out on an elaborate date, make love to his fiancee, flirt with women on a dating app, have sex with a prostitute, and (though supposedly straight) have sex with a man at work - all in one day. All while making you believe you're the only one.
A psychopath will do all of the above. Plus lock you in the house for days or weeks. Not emotionally, but physically. They will tie you up (as a "game") but not release you until they're ready. Usually, when they're bored. They will throw glasses across the room and then drag your body across it just to see what will happen. They will even sit up and watch you sleep for hours, not in a sweet, caring way, but in a truly terrifying "escape is never possible" way.
@@ekaski1
Spot on.
Thank you. This is well written and so, so true. I had no idea I’d been kidnapped. ❤ it’s hard to find people that understand that feeling or even people I’d talk to about it - so I hope you can imagine how validating your comment is to me. Thank you again, I hope you’re doing well.
so in other words women are their own worst enemies. i'm so glad i taught my daughters better than your father did
This sounds exactly like my ex. He used to tell me stories about when he was a kid and used to do horrible things (and he would be BRAGGING about these things) and he went to a juvenile detention center for punching someone so hard he put him into a coma, and he was proud of it. He laughed hysterically when he told me the story about how he pee'd in his teacher's desk, and his behavior as an adult wasn't any better. He always wanted to jump out of the car and punch people in the face (while he was raging) just because they looked over at us in the car and he said they were "staring too much" he would say "WHAT, DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM???.. Stop the car I'm gonna punch this guy in the face!!" He also felt no remorse for attempting to run me off the road when I was pregnant with our son. He still tried to justify it until the day I blocked him. He couldn't hold a job because he always wanted to punch his managers in the face. I can go on and on about these patterns. Thank you for covering this Doctor Ramani
Please stay safe
I hope things get better for you
@@independentthoughtsnotthot9030 He thinks he can beat anyone up, and would always brag about that too, and when I would ask him to stop talking about putting people into comas because it made me very uncomfortable to say the least, he would say "What, you don't believe me??? you want to see" and he purposely worded it that way so I couldn't call him out on directly threatening me. It was awful. But thank you! My son and I are moving, so soon he'll have no idea where we live.
That's sociopathy, ASPD.
Psychopaths are mostly chill..until they bite like a venomous snake or they drink your blood like a leech and you don't realise it untill you see blood and you are anemic already
He sounds "predatory". You are in a deep situation, please stay one step ahead of him!
They are not less than psychopaths.They drive us mad,crazy,because they are unhappy with themselves and they want to push that one onto you.
Thank you Dr.Ramani.
A lot of high skilled and high functioning (like lawyers,doctors) psychopaths are often “satisfied” with their own existence, are not insecure and do not necessarily abuse people. However, they are often ruthlessly competitive. From my experience they are very cooperative if you do not represent an obstacle in their career. With them you do not have that feeling of walking on eggshells.
( I am not talking about the sadist btw)
@@aliacampbell7227 they are unhappy and miserable. They put the mask on look happy.it is all a show .many people fall for it .and They project the shit onto you. These are very sick people
@@kirilmihaylov1934
In terms of "unhappy and miserable", you are thinking of Narcissists, not Psychopaths.
@@cacatr4495 not true
I am a very intelligent man, with huge world experience. My wife, who is a malignant narcissist, has shown me I know nothing. This personality is not about narcissism only. My wife has shown me I have to really do a much better job working on me....Dr. Ramani, with all my heart, Namaste and thank-you. 🙏🔥💪
You're right! It IS more than narcissism.. it's the devil.
If we cut to the chase, on an energetic level, these people are puppets of satan, their minds have been taken over. We need to just get away from all narcs for our own well being.
@Krishna Patel I hear your struggles. I'm only 18 and i grew up around narcissistic abuse that has taken a toll over my mental emotional and physical health.
But just know that knowledge is power. If we have the will to learn and to take actions.. we will be okay 💓 you've got support all around the world even if it's not from those closest to you. They are out there 💓 and like I said, the best thing to do is to free ourselves from all narcs or at least limited contact for our own safety and happin2ss in this lifetime.
I wish you the best
@Krishna Patel I relate to the trauma & also with the OP about malignant narcissist. All of this is so heartbreaking. The world has a big problem that's getting worse, & I'm so very grateful for Dr. Ramani. Sending light, love & prayers your way... & Also to the other young 18yo commenter, no matter what the situation be glad you found this wisdom from Dr. Ramani. I really wish I would have had her when I was 18. I turned 41 today, & feel so very stupid for dealing with what I've dealt with all these years. I feel lost, don't know myself anymore, just broken. This topic today hits home, & a lot of the abuse I've endured looks like psychopathy too. Scary. Not that the actual name really matters, toxic is toxic😩
@Krishna Patel USA provides loans for education, and some people get scholarships they don't have to repay for university. While it is good for some, it is still far from perfect. I worked my way through college, 2 jobs, paid for everything including my housing. NO help from relatives. Parents in USA can be very narcissistic and abusive as well, please don't think US and UK and Canada are opposite of the cesspool you consider India to be, though they may be better. In any case, I wish you all the best as you get your education and please consider becoming that which you desire to have, which is a psychotherapist. You can make a difference, we all can. P.S. I had similar, I had to escape family (father and his parents) by secret because grandmother censored my letters to faraway family to please help me. I saw the letters with white-out at 17 when I got away, with nothing in my knapsack but dreams.
@@prometheuspredator7971
Spent decades with garden variety narcissists in finance. Then had the misfortune of falling into the sphere of a psychopath. He made the narcissists look like minnows. The level of malevolence was mind-blowing.
Tell me about it! Do narcissists suffer in the presence of a psychopath?
Yes, they can. But it varies. (It doesn't always happen)
My ex (psychopath/sociopath) is getting married to a narcissist.
In this case, I pray for the narc. 🙏
I hope he survives.
This is my 17 year "marriage'..living hell to get away.. even more terrible to realize only after leaving how much I was being abused without being hit..4 years out and I am still in shock and have PTSD..can't even scratch the surface.. Thank you Doctor for helping me find some information and understanding..God Bless you.💜
Your story reminds me my own story,I also have C-PTSD. I know how hard it is.I couldn’t see it because as a baby I had the ‘attachment’ with a very Narc. person
@Krishna Patel I pray you can educate yourself and find healthy ways to connect with others..some parents are not good at or capable of giving the type of love we need sometimes..I am sorry you are going through this.💜
That is a really hard place to be and I can see why you are so hurt..I did not have a close family at all..it feels sad to be in a family like that..I started to read the Bible and now know I have a heavenly Father whole loves me and Jesus is my best friend and brother..I was 19 when I started to get closer to God and Jesus..I am 42 now His love and reading His word had healed my heart and soul..pray for Jesus to come into your heart and soul and for God to help you find love in his Word.. praying you find peace and comfort..💗
I have this ahead of me as I am planning to leave him. I’m really scared.
I am living this... With my sister.... I have built up the courage to move away.... It has taken a lot to get rid of the guilt but I'm going and hopefully build a better life😀
Sending a bigbig BIG hug to you, as my sister is also the psychopath who has shaped my life with her actions and behaviors. it's hard. & sometimes the rest of the fam just doesn't understand, or maybe they do when it's too late.
GO FOR IT AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
Happy for you, Jayne! Continue to take care of yourself.🌷
I find that the more I watch these videos, the more that the guilt releases, as I slowly, steadily come to a more 'stable' view of my 'narc'. it was the cognitive dissonance of 'they are sweet and mean well': 'they are selfish and inconsiderate', that really kept the guilt/ obligation alive within me. the more I can see how the 'sweet' was the outer layer covering a core of entitlement, self-centeredness and narcissism, the more I can affirm my choice to leave, and not feel guilty about it!
@@1986nitya ❤
I always thought that my “childhood sweetheart” is a psychopath. He was very intelligent and would get away with everything. Im lucky to be alive. I also read recently in the book “wisdom of psychopaths” that they don’t get anxious and have a heat rate of a normal person who’s meditating, then I also remembered that in a biology lesson about heat rates that his was only around 38 bpm.
Would love to see a video on the difference between Psychopaths and Malignant Narcissists! Thank you for this as always. I wish I had found Dr Ramani 12 years ago! Would have sent me on a different trajectory I am sure.
Damn.... stuff like this can easily make you never want to trust another person again.
True. It makes everyone guilty until proven innocent from now on(npd). Sadly, you only learn this from knowing one or being in any relationship with one.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Hmmm🤔 The ex narc could/would certainly exhibit psychopathic tendencies on any given day but for certain the next day would/could exhibit narcissistic personality disorder tendencies! It was confusing and emotionally chaotic to see this....FINALLY I think I understand! 🙌 Thank you so much Dr. Ramani for this incredible explanation! ❤️🙏🕊
You are an angel Dr. Ramani, God bless you 🙏🏻❤
People who become addicted also take on anti-social traits as their addiction progresses. For their families, it is very difficult to realize that the addicted person has become THAT different. Much damage ensues until family and friends realize what has happened. I believe addiction is a doorway to a kind of psychopathy.
I 100% agree. I was in a relationship with a person who exhibited all of the worst traits of narcissism & sociopathy. He managed to hide an escalating meth addiction from me for quite a while. I’m still not sure if I was just seeing the effects of the drug addiction, if he was indeed NPD/ASPD or, as I suspect, a combination of both. Ultimately it doesn’t matter. It was the worst experience of my life & took me years to recover
Edit- he also exhibited traits of BPD & histrionic personality disorder. It was a whole cluste B cluster fuck 🤯
@@WoodlandT these are very sick people yes .and will project the shit onto you. Probably was NPD and psychopathy . Histrionics is for women mostly. And yes some overlap. The exact diagnosis isn't that easy sometimes
J t, thanks for sharing that! ❤️ Your experience is my story, except it was OxyContin into heroin. Not all narcissists are addicts, but all addicts seem narcissistic and, by the end, completely void of conscience (AKA, psychopathic). It’s so confusing trying to understand what came first, I agree. I am so glad We both escaped.
Yes, especially meth
Yeah it happened to my mother it is very sad :(
One more time, thank you. You've now cleared up so much confusion I've had about a relationship I've finally been able to extract myself from. You literally said out loud the exact things I've been thinking, trying to explain or at least understand. Because there was not "overt" violence, he was able to fly under the wire. All the confusion of "narcissism" was there a hundred-fold. It has been far more frightening to realize he believes physical violence is boorish and that it is much more elegant and sophisticated to use other means, especially ones that turn the person against him/herself. It's a game of 4-D chess that the target doesn't even know she's playing. You will never know how much this one video has validated my life. Dr. R. you are saving lives.
Dr. Ramani's program is my everyday blessing: it is free of charge training in psychology.
Thank you Dr Ramani...this is the one I've been waiting on...as you said...they are similar but there is a distinct difference that if you look close enough or stay long enough you will see it.
40 years in with my relationship and I can witness that the lack of empathy and lack of emotion is simply non existent. It's a level unlike any other. The rage, the anger, lack of respect for authority or human life is terrorizing.
I ended up in the hospital in ICU and critical care for 3 months because my spouse didn't get me medical treatment and basically stepped over my critically ill body everyday on his way out the door to go to work. I survived, by the grace of God, but had no choice but to return home with the same person to recover and quietly work on a plan to leave.
These people are dangerous to the possibility of death with zero remorse or concern.
Protect yourselves out there folks. These people do exist.
Elizabeth
He was incredibly charismatic, intelligent and had an uncanny sixth sense. He was reading by the age of three and tested at genus level. I was hooked despite his criminal history because I was attracted to him like nothing I had ever experienced. It wasn’t until he confided in me about some of his past experiences that I understood why I always had a sick feeling in my stomach around him. I understood how deep it went. I have never experienced another human being who is that dark, empty and yet tremendously charismatic and insightful. The cognitive dissonance alone is damaging! I made it out. He dumped me (I believe for another woman), and I took my ticket to ride because I didn’t want to end up in a worse place. It’s very difficult to express in words what it’s like to be with one of these individuals because they have extraordinary qualities that you cannot find in the average person, yet they are not safe, sane or particularly pleasant individuals to be around.
It’s best to get away from them as quickly and safely as possible. Their attention span is not very long, so your chances are good of leaving the relationship once they loose interest.
So we'll put. They are like nothing and no one else.
I fully agree that they are so terribly charismatic that everyone else seems like a bore. If it weren't for their dark side.... Jekyll and Hide
I would absolutely love to hear about any Narcissistic PD and Avoidant PD relationship interactions, patterns and advice in this series! I rarely see this discussed very much.....
Yaaaay, thank you Dr Ramani! =D
Yes so would I please? Narcissistic one parent and avoidant other parent scenario would be interesting.
I try my best not to lie because then there is no anxiety for me after that. That’s where I feel most me. Holding my head high.
This is so frightening. The entire list of antisocial personality disorder fits my ex. His actions were so outrageous and frightening. I have been diagnosed with PTSD. I have decided to move far away and change my phone number and email to escape him for good. When I broke up with him a few years ago he tormented me for another two years. This pushed me to the edge. I’m working hard to heal. Thank you Dr Ramani for your insight.
When my ex went to prison they diagnosed him anti social personality disorder and bipolar... I thought they diagnosed him wrong because he was extremely social. It was not until recently I realized what this diagnosis means .. Thank you Dr. Ramani
Tell them about the eyes Dr.R.
Tell them about the predator stare.
You’ll know if you experience it.
Just get away from them as quickly and safely as possible. They are genius manipulators and can be highly dangerous, so don’t take chances. Just get away as soon as possible.
Mine stares at me sleeping to the point it wakes me up! I cant count how many times I've caught him doing it.. Its so damn creepy!!!
Yes. I had to put a chair under a doorknob overnight more than once.
@@butterfly8083 I keep a .22 gun in my bra at all times now, pepper spray, a knife and a bat by my bed.
After listening to that list dr Ramini, I often wonder if I will ever recover, the length of time I wasted, not knowing, being manipulated, love bombed, violence, rageful outbursts, which usually took place with one of my kids in his arms, he would lift them up when he was raging as he knew I would not react in front of my kids. I can't give up hope that I will someday recover. I am back in Councelling today, again after many years. I think there was definitely an overlap as you describe it. Thank you, always grateful
When you sit down everyday there’s so many of us going, yay!!! You’re amazing. Thanks guys . Counseling is my next step.
I absolutely love the idea of moving away from the term narcissism. "Antagonistic Relational Stress" is a great term, and sounds much more clinical. There is so much stigma against narcissistic abuse that moving away from the term is for the best. I understand that it is a helpful term for many people, myself included. However, this is the future of mental health. This work you're doing, Dr. Ramani, is revolutionary. We need to move away from the stigmatic terms. This falls in line with precedent as well - several mental health illnesses have been renamed many times over the past 100 years. We no longer say "shell shock" for PTSD, "retarded" for down syndrome, or "transvestism" for someone who wants to change gender identities. These outdated terms are loaded with emotional baggage, and so we move away from those terms to get away from that stigma.
For example, no one says they're out of line and "diagnosing themselves" when they say they have a headache, or when they say they're having a PTSD panic attack, or they talk about what it's like to live with Down syndrome. However, for some reason, we think the term "narcissistic abuse" is somehow different. "I'm being abused" is not a clinical diagnosis, and it's important to move away from that stigma when it comes to narcissistic abuse. Dr. R, I love your term "Antagonistic Relational Stress", and it even has a nice easy acronym (ARS). I think this is definitely something that should be updated in the next issue of the DSM.
Perfectly said, Will. -Will
@@willcampbell5099 Thanks Will!
Are you arguing that people with narcissistic tendencies might be more inclined to own their conditions and be more inclined to treat themselves if we called it something else? Sorry if I misunderstood you.
I went nc almost 4 years ago and have been working so hard on my recovery. Two therapists set me back due to not being narcissistic abuse informed (I didn’t know any better at the time). I kept watching and reading about narcissistic parents and so much clicked, but yet seemed not enough to describe what it was like for me. Then I saw Dr. Ramani’s video on Med Circle about Psychopaths and Sociopaths and BAM!! I have one of each as parents! That’s why it was SO BAD. Very VERY validating to learn info like this and finally my struggles, pain, and massive traumas make sense!!!
Yes once you see it,there's no unseeing it or mistaking it.
I cried watching this video. My husband is psychopath, he checks all the points - 1. He bullied kids in school and he will tell you proudly about that 2. He sexually assaulted his babysitter at the age of 11 (the babysitter was 15) and he's proud about that 3. He started stealing alcohol from a shop since he was 15-16 years old and oneday got caught 4. He got arrested at the age of 18 for drinking and driving 5. He can never keep a job more than 3-4 months, he is 32 years old 6. He has no motivation to achieve anything he keep thinking about how to scam people and earn money 7. He dropped out from high school and is proud of that 8. He is very charming at the first few meetings 9. He fights with everyone I mean literally everyone from family to strangers 10. He started cheating on me 5 months after we got married and kept doing it and never had any remorse 11. When he gets angry we will shake out of fear 12. I spent 2 years with him and now I have a restraining order against him
I wish I could get a therapist who could understand what I am going through.
I hope you are safe and well
Not a therapist but I completely understand.
I had to use a weapon on my dad one day, when he had my mom by the neck, in the middle of a busy road, full view of all the neighbours. He broke her leg and sprained her wrist, and was strangling her in the middle of the road..... All because he wanted the car keys off my mom.
I had to attack him with this weapon, with my boyfriend's help, to make my dad stop, with cars swerving the four of us.... I was still a teenager at this point.
The rage is wild and **TERRIFYING**.
The psychological abuse...... That's next level out there stuff....... Really bizarre...... It took me a decade, plus four years of psychotherapy, and training as a therapist.... And **still** I have nightmares flashbacks hyper-vigilance, dissociation, constant fear of men (but try really hard to not let that stop me).
I would have to seriously research how to be a psychopath and it would wear me out. How do they not get exhausted with this lifestyle.
Ultimately they do because they exhaust all possibilities of inner reform and inner spiritual growth! It's pretty much quantum! So within so without!
Some think psychopathy is genetic
Just watch interviews with convicted murderers or serial killers,best examples out there. It's how i learned to spot many patterns in family long before i ever found the amazing Dr. R. They are the most deceptive people on earth. To the point I've questioned if my uncle had ever done what he walked around talking about when he thought nobody was around
Surrounded by narcs and or psychopaths and somehow I'm an empath. overall i want to fall in love and often I'm scared to bring anyone into my life. because what would a woman think if i had no family for her to meet. because they're all vindictive people. Also my dad who i can't cut off just yet,has a history of being jealous of his sons relationships with women. Because he himself is incapable of love. He will engage in grandiose behavior to garner attention. Or gaslight you to make you question your own motives.
I hear you, I have chronic fatigue from my narc relationship. I cant figure how he doesnt run himself into the ground but learned there is a genetic and and mental component to chronic fatigue. I am guessing if you are narc or sociopath you dont have these components, mentally your not concerned, and so don't wear yourself out your actually enjoying yourself in a wierd way.
there needs to be more info out there on recovering from a psychopath
Honestly my experience has been more with psychopaths than narcissists. I think many many times when people talk about narcissistic behavior they’re actually talking about psychopathy.
All psychopaths are narcissists.
I watch these videos religiously and after learning the traits of a malignant narcissist and someone with anti social personality disorder, I can’t figure out which group my ex belongs to - because they both fit 🥺🥺
I always believed his stories of childhood abuse at home because of which he’s now estranged from his family..... this was until one day, in a moment of rare honesty, he spoke of the awful ‘pranks’ he would play on his parents as a young child - like the time he called his mother pretending to be a cop and telling her that he died in a road accident. His mum was so shocked she passed out, hit her head and suffered a head injury, or the time he jumped into a stream and pretended to drown so people could ‘save’ him.
I saw a malevolence when he told me these anecdotes - no remorse, no emotion on his face - nothing!
Sounds like a sociopath/psychopath.
Narcissists usually won't do such things.
A narcissist is more likely to go to macdonalds, order food, yell at the employees "You go my order wrong!"
until the macdonalds just gives them the food for free to get them to leave the building (their goal all along).
Or a narcissist might not buy you a birthday present or wish you a happy birthday but will give your sister or cousin a big present and throw the biggest party around.
(Narcissists usually don't do illegal things)
A sociopath/ psychopath meanwhile will do as you described, making a fake calls and pretending they can't swim, all for funsies.
My ex sociopath one time called me and said her house was on fire. (We lived in different states so I couldn't just go over and check)
I called and called and texted and texted. I waited and waited, 1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours,
4...5...6...
I nearly had a heart attack in my 20's!
Finally 6 hours later I got a response.
"Oh...yeah. About that. I'm fine. There was no fire. I was just pranking you. I can't believe you fell for it. 😂"
This is the world I live in and I'm watching it burn down in front of my face.
Not all narcissists are psychopaths but all psychopaths are narcissists.
The rage from a pyschopath is cold calculated rage... Bang on!
Narc mother, fell for a psych guy that drained me out for 4 years. Took me so long to heal and get back to myself
I'm glad you covered this. I've been watching your channel for a while and you educated me a lot where now my life makes more sense. I thought the people I dealt with were Narcissists but now I know I was wrong. And this video is helping me identify these people, and I was shamed for cutting them off but now I'm glad did and I feel validity now looking back at when I told my psychologists in the past I felt those people were psychopaths. Omg this is so scary.
Hi there, everyone! This channel makes me want to be a better person! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Dr. Ramani! Watching now ❤️🛼🥰
You've got my attention, immediately upon seeing this notification on you tube, I have saved it to my archives to watch later. This is a topic that I have been extremely interested in for a long time. Thank you for sharing.
When I first watched this video about a month ago, it truly resonated with me. I had been studying narcissism for months, but knew it wasn't quite right to describe the guy I was with. Psychopath was suggested to me and all the boxes were checked. This is what he is. As you say, pretty much all Psychopathic people are narcissistic, so he has lots of narcissistic traits that are devastating. But he didn't have the insecurity. He has easy charm, and has carefully crafted an image of success. Meanwhile, he had duped a number of people out of hundreds of thousands. He was a parasite with his ex. Used her for immigration and drained her bank accounts. Had countless affairs. He is a stunningly effective pathological liar. I talked to his ex and learned soooo much. People like this are extremely dangerous and they leave you devastated. I also found out that he was charged criminally several weeks ago but he has gone on with his life, not missing a beat. At least outwardly, he does not seem distressed at all. I hope he doesn't charm his way out of a sentence. I wish so much that I had never met him!
My ex was a relapsed alcoholic. I first met him while he was sober, and he was the most charming, decent person I (thought) had ever known. When the relapse happened it didn't seem that problematic initially. He was able to maintain the job he'd had for 15 yrs, but when he was fired, he hinted vaguely that it had to do with his drinking. What always baffled me was that things got their absolute worst after he got sober again. His behaviors exhibited more and more psychopathy signs than narcissistic. Through all the lies and deceptions, I discovered he was trying to harm me in various ways including poisoning. (even typing that it still feels like something made up). When I realized the extent of the danger, I played it cool, made a plan and moved while he was out of town. Three years later, I'm healing, but still have the occasional night terrors. And NO ONE would ever expect him capable of any of this behavior.
love you dear, you are able to give so much love by spreading this information to prevent that ppl fall in these painfull traps
I come to your videos often just to read the comments. Your videos are one of the best places for peer support that I have found so far. Great work ❤️👍
Thank you. That's the situation I'm in. The videos on Narcissism are very valuable to me as there are so many similarities (minus the need for admiration).
Good morning mama Ramani!!
Thank you!!
I love waking up to your vídeos!
Your videos this month have been very educational. Thank you for taking the time to make them.
Thank you for this content. There isn't too much out there that goes in depth on ASPD and psychopathy.
I was somewhat surprised that antisocial personality describes my first husband completely. I felt like he had some narcissistic traits, but I think now that it goes deeper than that. My second husband, according to a former therapist, is a psychopath. He was just downright cruel, and I've never really healed completely. I see that in how terrified I am to even date, and my inability to trust anyone completely. I have learned about the link between the borderline and the narcissist. It's really sad that we are so attracted to such terribly evil people. Thank you for these videos, Dr. Ramani.
Behind closed doors it’s a different story, everyone else gets fair treatment but with you it’s a whole different story. How do these people have so many people around them?
Ive wondered that too, like how do people not see how fake they are? Especially online, they have a higher than average social credit score lol. Its my first red flag to just take a step back.
The society places success and intelligence above character so they are very willing to dismiss the allegations against narcissists.Narcissists are also experts at manipulating those around them by stirring shit and create unnecessary drama .They create echo chambers of hate that perpetuate for generations and this set of behaviours would often be subsumed into cultural traditions and held in high regard.
@@famhuideng4132 you know what, that seems right. As far from what I’ve experienced, she lied to me and made it obvious, tried to exploit me like she does others, gave me the silent treatment over a simple misunderstanding, and she didn’t take responsibility for ANY of it. Ridiculous
Dr we need a part 2
My ex always says, I don’t get stressed. That should have been my clue to run away
I am currently getting my bachelor of science in psychology. I really enjoy the way you explain and teach others 💖. Thank you for being an integral part of psychology and the RUclips community.
Dr. Harvey Cleckley's "the mask of sanity" published in 1982 is a good book full of examples of psychopathy. Also what l want to add to the psychopathic behaviors is that they mimic other people's emotions. They don't feel much and sometimes they express wrong emotions in front of other people. That's another way you notice a person is psychopathic rather than a narc. Nonetheless, they do a pretty good job of mimicking emotions.
@Ki Lalmn i said the same thing in a separate video and everyone downvoted me, but yes exactly - psychopaths mimic emotions to get what they want (for me, it's social validation, pleasure from friends, etc), but when i'm not around people or when i don't feel like putting on the mask, i'm an empty shell of a human being. only my little brother (who i've probably spent the most time around) has caught on to the duplicity, everyone else in my life is absolutely clueless
My father had anti-social personality disorder. He taught me growing up getting caught doing something illegal was the price you pay, but he didn’t care about the law or societal norms. It was a wild childhood.
This reminds me of when I overheard this girl in the break room telling someone how she crawled through her boyfriends window bc he wouldn’t answer her calls. She was so angry it was scary. I didn’t expect that from her at all. She was also plotting something in secret, all I heard was slashing his tires... 😬
Beware of vindictive revenge. Stay away from her
This is very empowering to know what to be aware of this type of person. Now that I'm healed somewhat from this person. I've detached from and will stay single for a long time. I've learned so much from your videos, I'm definitely a survivor. Thank you, for sharing your blessed gifts of intelligent knowledge. 💖Maggie
Oh dear! Thank you for this Dr. Ramani
This is my ex-boyfriend. I felt like I was living in a psychological horror movie.
You are doing a great service to humanity Dr Ramani 🙏🙏
Thank You Dr. Ramani
You are a tremendous help!!!💖🌻
I am so very grateful for your knowledge and wisdom💕 Blessings
Thank you so much Dr. Ramani. I don't know what i would have become without your insights. I didn't have any clues to the why my marriage was so difficult
Please consider speaking to Narcissism and addiction (both substance and process/behavioral). The narcissistic defense mechanism of Addicts and the prevalence of addiction of NPD individuals - two separate things, but difficult to tease apart.
I knew my ex is more than a narcissist. He deliberately searched out a young woman (19 yrs old) and started the relationship with me so I could be trained. He actually said that. Lots of physical violence. His current girlfriend found me on Facebook.
It is exactly my case and I have to stay in the relationship until I fix some issues. Thank you so much ! It was very important to hear all this 🙏🏻💖🌹
I spent 5 years with a psychopath when I was very young. As terrifying as he was, violent, (he almost killed me 3 times) verbally abusive, controlling of any money I had, cruel to pets to retain control, and stalked me for 16 years despite a protection order after I left. My narcissist ex actually did more psychological damage. There were no physical signs of his abuse. No bruises. But he chipped away at my self worth just as deliberately as the psychopathic boyfriend. With the psychopath he’d say he cheated, he didn’t care if I knew, the narcissist would gaslight me and make me believe I was the problem and ‘such a victim’. His friends would back him up. Psychopathic ex had no close friends and never used other people to do his dirty work. They’re both cruel disgusting people but it took me a long time to figure out the narcissist was also abusive. By the time I left him I wanted to die I felt so worthless, used and confused.
This is an excellent description. Thank you.
Please cover dissociative disorders & narcissistic abuse! I love this series.
You KNOW when you have been around a psychopath. It takes a while but you KNOW.
Please please please do more videos about this subject. Survivors of this type of abuse need the most help!!!
Thank you very much for covering this Dr Ramani & team. T
More thanks Dr. Ramani ❤️
I love how Dr. Ramani gets on this video and describes my ex-wife down to every single detail. It took me 3 years to get over the worst of the PTSD, and I still have triggers.
The gold standard for sick. I think I had a friend as a teen who was one. He was fun doing mischief with, but he had a disturbing lack of conscience. Glad I moved on.
Seconding an earlier comment about covering the effects on children. Sometimes it can be a sibling abuser. My brother was really screwed up by our terrible upbringing and hit almost all the criteria in the APD scale. My main abuser was a parent though and I remain confused about her. She was never in trouble with the law, has a vulnerable side, loses relationships constantly, but has siphoned off the same spouse for decades (he's a husk of a person, she has completely drained him). Lots of lies, some more sophisticated than others, but while we can see through them, she can maintain them. Does cave under stress of abandonment and rejection sensitivity. Has a BPD-Waif presentation at times. No remorse, false empathy and is a sadist willing to terrorize children. I have CPTSD from the games she played on me for her sadistic pleasure. There was no vulnerability in her when she was harming us. She was never caught because she hid it all so well. If she's a malignant narcissist, the sadism in her is extremely high.
Great advice & video`s thank you Dr Ramani xx
I won the lottery of cPSTD from psychopath father and narcissistic mother😭 hey, at least i understand it backwards.
Omg SAME! My mother is a codependent narc hence why she fell under the spell of the psychopath. I’ve been no contact with them both for 8 yrs
@@Alex-kk8is mine died a while back. Then I really began my healing still in the road. But freer than ever
Omg, how did you know I needed to hear this right now 🥺🙏❤
My therapist thinks my last couple of relationships were with psychopaths. And I think my first long term relationship was with a psychopath as he was absolutely terrifying, and a wonderful liar. All three were extremely charismatic and really cool, calm, and collected liars.
I feel like there needs to be more information on psychopaths. It’s so hard to find it and anything that’s out there is about the serial is about serial killers or will simplify things to be about animal abuse etc. so thank you for covering this topic Dr Ramani!
I have BPD I was engaged to a very grandiose NPD. He was cheating with a woman at work. He abused me in every way. It was a very dark time and my BPD came out strong, destructive and scary. I found
Your videos shortly after the breakup. THANK YOU for saving my life!!!!!
Thankyou this is the information I've been looking for ❤️
Thanks for the information Dr. Ramini.
Heartbreaking subject! I dream of the day that science finally finds a solution for psychopathy. This should be a priority! Psychopathy makes life unbearable.
It helped me a lot to watch these videos - I have almost forgotten what having a normal relationship is like and I have also processed a lot of what happened to me and it made sense for the first time; of course I had a bad family but it did have warmth from friends when I was growing up and my grandmother, so I did feel loved and safe at some point.