8 Things Terrible DMs Do
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
- Have you ever had a truly terrible DM in your Dungeons & Dragons game? Today, we're gonna talk about what makes a bad Dungeon Master or Game Master, and what can be done to correct it.
0:00 - Intro
1:38 - They take away player agency
3:04 - They treat players unequally
6:08 - They ignore player boundaries
7:17 - They abuse their power
8:23 - They fail to be a leader
9:16 - They don't set expectations
10:07 - They reject feedback
11:16 - They become players' enemy
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Hey all, this is... an old video 😅 I don't stand by a lot of this stuff now, so please take all of it with a grain of salt. Here are some videos that more accurately represent my current recommendations for GMs:
• "The underused GM tip that will make players obsessed with your game" ruclips.net/video/Bd6xX3i7Qeo/видео.html
• "5 Game Master lessons I wish I'd learned earlier" ruclips.net/video/iWHJ-DxUvwk/видео.html
• "9 things D&D players wish DMs did" ruclips.net/video/OGWoTqkYvaU/видео.html
Nope, I'll have this one unsalted, those are all valid takes and need not be any milder or stronger, thank you for the video!
Haha, I had a big comment I was going to post with feedback but now I just crumpled up that comment and put it in the trash like a NPC character design I didn't like.
I mean… you have the power to take the video down. If these views no longer represent your mindset, I see no reason to keep it up. Very few people actually go to the comments section.
Hi, just discovered your channel, and after watching this and the other videos you posted here, I'm curious as to what you no longer agree with, because it seems to me the newer ones didn't contradict this one. I love your enthusiasm, and although I've been playing a long time (seriously, original Red Box, 1976), my DM experience is still limited., and I'm looking forward to going through your library.
Honestly, I like this video, because it helped me realize I was valid in having the concerns I did with a previous dm, even though some tried to tell me I'm just imagining things. I appreciate someone calling things out.
Shout out to all the Imposter Syndrome DMs who thought this video would just be Ginny pointing at them and shouting "SHAME!"
Glad I'm not the only one lol
Anxeity
WHOOOO!
Yep, that would be me.
mood
meeeeee lol, but I shoulda known ginny wouldn’t do that
"Surprise, here's thoughtfulness and empathy, you sucker!" is the best tag line ever 😂
Me, a Bard, comforting a friend
i think i need to make it my ring tone party
Please anything but thoughtfulness and empathy!!!!!
Joke's on you, I'm into that!
Yeah, I involuntarily busted out laughing at that one!
I don't know what the best term to use is, but Ginny has such a . . . .? . . . "peppy? personality"?, that I can't help but smile at times.
Heck, sometimes I'll click on one of her videos, just as a "pick-me-up".
Ginny: "The DM knows nearly everything about their players; their passive perception, Armour Class, etc."
Me, a DM who doesn't know most of the stats of the party: Riiiiiiigggghhhhttttt
Me: Saaaaaammmmmeeee
I don't even remember what level my players are
I only have their AC and health written down, this is my first campaign that I am running and I've been pretty nervous because my party is a tiefling wizard, a halfling warlock, and a half orc ranger.
I as a DM that keeps note cards handy for things like race, class, passives, AC, etc. (Tip)
If you play online I've found it helpful to get the players to add their HP, AC and PP to the character name in the chat. Makes things so much easier.
It was a very long time ago when I last played unfortunately, but I think I was lucky enough to have the best DM that ever existed on this planet. To this day I still don't know if he was a psychopath or a genius, or maybe both. He had literally hundreds of characters stored in his head, all of them with unique mannerisms, voices/accents, desires, goals and social circles. He theatrically played out every one. I remember us recognizing a doppelganger based on subliminal differences in how he acted him out. I felt like I was at the movies during every session. On top of that he was a natural born storyteller and always ensured each session left us feeling like we had achieved something incredibly heroic and epic. I miss those games, lol
thank you for sharing this!
That sounds absolutely amazing! Hats off to that DM
We call that a functional lunatic. It's a great power when focused on something fun and useful.
Not me, but close!
@@Drayghon Can I join your group? 😂
Worst GM treatment: I was one of 5 players in Robotech's Ghostship. As soon as we entered the ship, we were trapped in a hold. I pried open a panel which was a "trap," just a large fan that sucked me in and killed my character. I was dead in the 1st half hour of play with no warning, no chance to save myself, no re-rolling a new character. Just had to sit and watch all my friends play for 3 hours so I could get a ride home. Any comment I made about the game was shouted down as I was "dead" and shouldn't interfere.
Ummmm, WTF.
Do NOT play with them. That is wrong.
I had a similar experience playing second edition dnd with a new group in the 90’s. I just read a book and finally the dm asked me if I could pay
attention and I just said “Why?”
I don't see a problem with sudden character death, even in the first 20 minutes.. as long as it was discussed before hand that it was a ' feature' of this campaign and or session. And players know what they are getting into.
The disregard after seems just cold to me.
This is Robotech's Ghost Ship from 1988... instant death is literally a function of the game. This was in the era of AD&D when you were lucky to survive for 3-4 levels before dying. I mean it was a dick move not to let you reroll or at least backseat game for sure. Its just like Tomb of Horrors Orb of Annihilation you just die.
One of the most important pieces of D&D advice I've ever heard:
"No D&D is better than bad D&D."
I understand what that means, but it's always so funny to me because it could also mean that the best type of DnD to play is bad DnD.
Medeocre any game not D&D is better than good D&D...
@@kevinsullivan3448 What?
God, this. It's such a time investment and investing time in a leisure activity that saps the life out of you is the worst.
Never settle for a group you don't enjoy playing with
Agree 200%. My group went completely downhill a few years back with the DM constantly using the game to live out his own power fantasy with his favourite DMPCs, while also checking pretty much every box of bad DMing and being completely incapable of changing. And we tried, we really tried. After some time I realized I was having only... whatever the opposite of fun is, plus the constant arguing between the DM and the group, until I just walked away and never came back.
Today I'm the Forever DM for the same group. The old DM is a player and while he's certainly the most problematic one, he's still MUCH better as a player than DM. I will never be a player in his campaings again. No D&D is better than bad D&D.
One of my pet peeves with DMs is (and I’ve found this happens with a lot of DMs) when they consistently/always punish a nat 1 roll but don’t always look for ways to reward the rare nat 20s that aren’t in combat. For example if you roll a nat one on a perception check for standing watch at night, the DM will say you fell asleep and a raccoon comes into camp and steals some of your party’s stuff, but if you nat 20 on a perception check for standing watch, they say you go through the night and nothing happens but you can really hear the individual crickets chirping well…that’s nonsense and you will lose players trust when you do that. Even if you didn’t have anything planned, maybe make something up like throw in an unplanned small encounter that the nat 20 just saved the party from a surprise attack or even that you saw it coming early enough that your party now has an opportunity for a surprise round on the bandits, or maybe say that the player notices a little bit of glittering in the nearby stream and find a little bit of gold or even that a player notices that a deer has unwittingly bedded down right next to the party and they can shoot it with their bow so the party has some fresh meat and a hide to sell in the next town….something…anything…the player feels like they got a win and you get a win by looking like you had something prepared and it encourages your players to be more engaged even in the mundane stuff
as a fellow GM it's actually funnier to (sometimes) reward players for a bad roll or punish them for good ones
Story: my group traveled through a swamp and rolled for Perception to look around for oozes and the like
(Tabaxi) rolled a 4
Me: as you scout the area around you, you slipped on a twig in front of you, falling forward (giving them Laying Down) just inches away from a bubbling pool of swamp water, as you looked closely, you saw that it wasn't in fact swampy water or tar, but a black ooze resting in front of the group (so the group could walk around it or attack it)
Other Story: my group had to defend a castle from a Black Dragon
Warlock: I wan't to summon my Patron and make a wish
Me: OK... you summoned your Patron, Baphomet, before you, to make a wish
Warlock: My Lord! I command you to transform this dragon into some kind of fish or something, AND FAST!!!
Me: roll for Intimidation
Warlock: 20
Me: Baphomet, appaled from your intimidation, backed away a step, growled a bit, and turned the dragon into a whale (some kind of fish in his eyes) and in a bit of frustration hasted the now plummeting whale
The whale crashlanded in the side of the castle, destroying it in the progress, blood, rubble and whale gore splatting the whole area around you
As you looked in awe, the castle, in a giant crush slided and crumpled down the side of the mountain, crushing the harboring city on the foot of the cliff under it
Baphomet, satisfied with the outcome, looked you dead in the eyes and sayd: if you ever try to intimidate me again, I will crush you like this "fish" crushed your beloved castle!!!
well, was one of the stupidest and funniest outcomes of a session we had, even it got totally destroyed in the end
it's also good to reward out of the box thinking with an encounter ending earlier than intented (but the group doesn't get as much XP for it)
Story: Cleric: I throw my Ball of Tar Potion on the Goblin Boss
Me: OK... the Grump (the Goblin Boss's Name) is now covered in Tar, but since the doesn't consumed the Potion, he will not sweat tar, or is hindered by its movement penalty
Cleric: That's OK, we have a plan!
Tabaxi: I use my Dash Ability to run behind the Goblin Boss and push the brazier
Me: Roll to see if you're strong enough to push it over
Tabaxi: 17
Me: The brazier, with a loud clanking sound, fell down the stairway, covering the Warg beneath Grump with tar, setting them both on fire
As they're rolling on the ground, writhing in pain from the flames, the rest of the Goblins, fearing for their lifes, are running away in panic
@@steffenweppler9612 I'm really not a fan of punishing good rolls, also that whole summon patron and make a wish thing if it's a feature of warlocks(i'm just getting into 5 and never ran with warlocks in 3.5) then it shouldn't have been able to backfire. I mean it's possible the at table wording was more intimidatory than shown here but YOU said roll for intimidation, something that straight up should not work between a warlock and patron. And as such should not be rolled for.
Seriously the way you've written it, you're a jerk. Making the reasonable assumption you wrote in the light most favourable to you? Massive dingus moment.
@@steffenweppler9612 dude that isnt a fun way to play, if you ask them to roll intimidation then they crit and as a result they destroy a castle seems a bit unfair or just not fun or rewarding. The reason their is no reward for nat 1 is because it's not a good roll, like if i rolled a nat 1 on attack amd somehow I messed up so bad I found an opening in their armour to hit them would be stupid. I would much prefer the actually idea of how the dice work
@@steffenweppler9612 i think this is hallarious as long as it's a rare occasion.
@@SEAkuaa it is, the first one was not to punish completely new players on the first roll of the day (new players who never played before) - afterwards, they were more careful and played and planned accordingly
the second one was punishing a player who used his patron deity as an errand boy for literally everything... party engages in RP to help a farmer - call on the Patron to set the farm ablaze
going shopping for supplies... - call the Patron to do it-.-
he didn't even listen to the other players, so I had to punish him somehow... so cue the final encounter (the other players were actually in on the plan, suffix to say, the problem player isn't a player at our table anymore)
That 'Having the DM's partner in a session' thing hits close to home. My first ever DM had her partner as a player and said partner romanced one of the NPCs to the point it was basically a love fest the rest of the party was dragged along with. Not to mention said DM let her partner drag myself and another player over the coals in a yelling rant that lasted about 30 min in the middle of the session telling us that we weren't playing the game right. My severe social anxiety was also invalidated when the partner said it wasn't an excuse for being a quiet character that was more in the background and 'making the DM drag me by the seat of my pants through the game'. A game I'd never played before and had no idea how to play. I was dropped off the deep end with no experience and expected to swim like an olympian.
A DM I played with for far, far too long had a wife that was just an very toxic person and player. When she wasn't involved in a campaign, he would usually be a pretty good DM, but then she would decide to join, and all of the sudden her character would get special traits and privileges, the encounters would be tailored to her characters' skillset, etc. She would get bored with the story, have her characters do things like go off on random tangents for no actual reason, or have them run away and hide during fights, or she would just up and leave the table for long stretches during the game, but then she would get mad when the other players didn't "listen to" (aka follow) her ideas when making group decisions, and the DM would either berate us out of game for treating her badly or punish us in game. Unfortunately, they made each other worse as people until they both got so toxic no one would play with either of them at all.
The first character to almost die in my girlfriend's game was mine! I was unconscious at a flind's feet. It was smart enough to understand it should end me instead of giving me the chance to get back up. I would have been pissed if he hadn't and she knew that. At our table, being the DM's partner means I have a responsibility to demonstrate good player skills by example.
@@StarryEyed0590 I am willing to bet the DM wondered why nobody would play with him anymore.
My first long term relationship actually started because she was a player at the table I was dming at. But I always tried to not play favorites.
My god that fact that they favor one person over another is wild I like to just let my party decide what they want to do even if it means just not being in the same place half the time cause they want to explore or do something else I don’t know why one person gets drag everyone else in tow like that
Fun fact: Your players will *always* find a way to surprise you. The sooner you let go of the idea that you can outthink multiple other people, the sooner you can sit back and be amazed by other people being creative and amazing.
Fun fact: You don't need to make a monster immune to the player outhinking you when they do. XD
Also, it isn't even just a matter of outthinking the DM; sometimes they just luck out in solving a problem. Players get the advantage of being collectively smarter and dumber than the DM at the same time :-)
This is a big part of the reason that I don't build encounters designed around specific player abilities. I just let the world be the world, and that might work in their favor or it might not.
True, also, thing I learned - just because a puzzle makes sense to you, doesn't mean it will to anyone else. When possible get other people outside your gaming group to test the puzzles. Because you don't actually want your players to be stumped, you want a temporary pause, then victory when they solve it.
@@artificergunn3065 Unless it's a portable, long-term puzzle that the party can work on over multiple sessions, then it can be a bit more difficult.
the only race I've ever banned from my games is the Kenku
because I don't trust my living shitpost of a friend group to not walk in with a $200 soundboard the next session to fuck with me lmao
I am into that shit.
@@shadowsalomon right i know for sure that there are a ton of people who would find that hilarious. for me personally, it's because i have ADHD and OCD, so if that happened, i'd get distracted by the soundboard and then frustrated with myself for getting distracted lmao
I've mostly just banned races that have flight to start with, since it can be wild OP and difficult to balance encounters with for all players; earlier editions of D&D had such wildly varying power levels between classes that you had to make sure all players were playing in the same "tier" so they'd be on equal footing, and to me, flight sort of reintroduces that sort of imbalance into 5e, which is mostly pretty good on that front.
The only race I'm a hard no on is grung.
@@Anaguma79 that's the frog people right? Or is it the fish people that don't have legs?
I remember having a shitty DM. Every single time we tried to be creative or optimistic he would say "Oh, that's cute" super condescendingly and then invent random reasons why we fail regardless. He also pushed a warlock pact on me cause he wanted a Bardlock in the party just cause he thought they were "cool and powerful", when I didn't want that at all. That was about when I just left.
Yeah, dealing with a tyrannical DM is rough. Especially when they're a friend. It can really threaten friendship.
People like this need therapy, not a DM screen
In the campaign I'm playing we can pretty much count on ANY action failing if we total less than 15... unless it was the thing we were supposed to do in which case even rolling a 2 succeeds.
OMG, This is how my older brother played Lego with me as a little kid. HE was a teenager and nothing I built could ever withstand the 'battle'. As soon as I was old enough to anticipate the 'rules' he lost interest in playing with me.
If you want to play with people who mock and deride others you can minimize their collateral damage by sticking to pattern recognition games. Sodoku, cards, Mahjongg, triominoes, jigsaw puzzles. Just saying from experience being on the receiving end, they are far less toxic.
My first ever D&D campaign was kind of a nightmare in some respects. The DM would often say things to me outside of session like, "Everybody hates you." or "Everyone is too weirded out by you." I asked everyone if this was really how they felt, ensuring them that I was not trying to offend them in any way. They all told me this was a lie. Plus, he often had fights with his girlfriend during game (who was also a player), and they had to take things outside and we would just be sitting around twiddling our thumbs awkwardly until they finished. It also didn't help when he would let other players touch me in ways I wasn't comfortable with and then get mad at me when I would freak out and tell them no. I didn't want to upset him though, because I didn't want to lose my very first ever D&D game and the drummer from my band (aka the DM) at the time.
Years later, I had another DM in a different game who would often single me out and bully me in game because he had an unspoken grudge against me personally out of game. I was friends with his now ex-wife, and he didn't like that. He thought I was trying to encroach on his territory (which I most certainly was NOT), so he would go out of his way to make my character frequently fall into misfortune. It got so bad that other players sat up and took notice, telling him to knock it off. That game didn't last too long.
Wow, those dm’s are horrible people wtf
Bruh. I’m fortunate that I decided to become THE DM. I would never, nor tolerate, any of that behavior at my table and eject the D-bag with no warnings, which is mentioned in my session 0.
So I’m sorry you had to go through all that, but there are some of us who would be more than happy to have you just be able to chill and play at the table with no drama.
My first DM was the last type from this video. I killed a banshee with Infestation so easily I went, "That's it?" He thought I was unimpressed, but I was just shocked by myself, so I apologized. But I apologized profusely because I thought I offended him, but after the session he kicked me. Fast-forward to another time I just chatted with him; I brought that up to him and he just started yelling obscenities at me like, "You'd be a horrible DM," "You're just looking for sympathy," "You're just a manipulative snowflake." I literally cried, worst D&D experience ever.
this is very common unfortunately, does not help that most DnD players lack any social skills or are very socially awkward and most of the time extremely aggressive or passive-aggressive, thats why i quit rpgs, can't find a single group of normal people
Always the victim, huh?🤔
"Surprise! Here's some thoughtfulness and Empathy, ya sucker!" is my life motto, I highly endorse chaotic kindness :)
"Don't worry, you were worse last session" :p
Nice.
Chaotic Good: "I'm going to help you whether you like it or not!"
My group does A great thing where we have a post-mortem after each session. We talk about what happened, how much was planned and how we felt. It always makes a good end to the night.
talking about the game afterward is a lot of fun and often my favorite part!
I currently play another pen and paper and it actually encourages post session talk, specifically a highlight reel, were everyone recounts situations they thought were really cool, which I think is great idea for any roleplaying game.
I’ve seen that type of thing “poison the water supply” so to speak. Best to have one-on-ones with the DM in my opinion. Group post-Mortem is more for positive reinforcement and not for bringing up issues.
i do the same thing with my players.
Wish we had this, I'm a first time player and our campaign is done via discord and FantasyGrounds and at the end of the session (which he calls randomly and almost always right where we are about to possibly die) he just says have a good week and logs off, completely unresponsive until the day before and announces the session start time and asks if we all want to continue the campaign or start over on a new one. It's starting to feel like he doesn't want to DM this campaign anymore and is trying to convince us to quit. But he also raged when one of our players got sick of his character and killed himself and saying that he would have to start over at level 1 while the rest of us are levels 5-6.. really consideringg quiting the campaign cuz the DM just flat acts like a player hater and that we are a burden, it's not fun and he has thrown a red dragon wyrmling on us at level 5 but apparently given him magical abilities including casting 4 different spells at level 2
This was a really nice video, especially that last part “Most people don’t have an extra five hours every week to be miserable.” I had to quit an old group because one of the members made me u comfortable, and then some of the other people in that group abandoned me as well because me leaving meant D&D wasn’t happening as well as it would have. I’m in a much better group now and it’s really refreshing to have sessions where I’m not constantly on edge and averting my gaze.
The only problem with her and a lot of newer players is, they won't accept when THEY are the ones out of place at the table and try to scream bloody murder because the table won't change to accommodate them.
That seems to be so common amongst roleplayers. A lot of us were outsiders in school, we werent the ones the others kids invited to all the parties and it shows when playing d&d. Some very awkward social behaviour happening under the guise of „character roleplay“.
I prefer a tactical battlesimulation with minor rpg elements until i know the people around me really well. Risk of dying is totally ok, but emotional trauma and romance are reserved for the rpg groups i really trust.
I used to play with a terrible group. I can go on and on and on. But a few examples. The dungeon master had a obssesion with rape in his games. To the point it felt like I was hanging out with a man wanting to be a rapists. Not adult story telling etc. Just something he thought was fun and cool to have happen to his players again and again. players being angry at new players for not mid maxing and "PLAYING THEIR CHARACTER RIGHT" Even telling the dm running the campaign for that game. You should kill his character he is not a effective rouge. If I ever hear that at my table running a game. My policy is to tell the complaing player. Well then it's your fault for not playing a rouge. Get over it or leave.
This actually taught me that I am being a terrible DM. Being new I didn't realise that I was going down the wrong way, thank you for making the video.
Hope you are doing well!
Always a great day to learn, something new! :)
Your attitude and willingness to admit publicly you're not perfect and to learn to me mean you were not terrible, but 'bad' at most. You've probably come a long way by now if you held on to that mindset 😊
I'm sure you got much better and players appreciated your DM'ing
My first rule: if everyone is having fun you’re not doing it wrong. This is all good advice. Thank you.
Variation on that: If the players aren't having fun, you're doing something wrong.
Also, if you aren't having fun, you're doing something wrong
Incorrect. There are various levels of fun. Settling for mediocre fun is a disservice to the players. There must be absolute fun.
@@isaakvanast if everyone is having fun you’re not doing it wrong. Plain and simple. Fun is fun. Absolute Fun is just one type that usually involves vodka.
@@RCCraigoOnline Sure, if you are content with mediocrity. Each to his own.
@@isaakvanast Perhaps I'm missing your point. Fun is fun is fun. If you are having fun, then you are having fun. Fun! Sure, what's fun for some isn't fun for others, but it's not if someone is having fun, it's if everyone (everyone playing the game with you) is having fun. If having fun is being content with mediocrity, I'm extremely curious what the upgrade would be.
“life is short, D&D is long”
The best quote in the video
I think the first major thing to remember is that there’s a huge difference between a “terrible DM” and a “toxic DM”. I think most players leave the table because of a toxic DM, because not only do they do “terrible” things, they refuse to talk about it or be open to discussing it.
This video saved me! My first DM embodies everything that she talks about and for over a year I thought I just had to put up with it because it's hard to find a consistent DM. To his credit he dm'd every week without fail which is no small feat. However I saw red flags from day 1. I wanted to be a ranger for my first character. He tried to ban longbows when my quest line was going to put me up against dragons and he's the type that always plays them as flying. He decided that rangers aren't magical they just have natural abilities. This prevented me from flavoring spells and became difficult to explain at higher levels. My character was a nymph which I played to be slightly flirtatious but never asked to seduce anyone. My character was sexually assaulted 3 times over the course of the year. He favoritized his irl friends and dropped crazy magical items on them while after a year I still didn't even have a +1 weapon. Originally he told me I could multiclass as Rogue and made it almost impossibly difficult, because I had to find a teacher and it took a huge amount of time away from the main story and caused resentment in the team. Then later decided rogue is not a heroic class and doesn't fit in the game so I wasn't allowed to continue. I never used rogue abilities to do evil shit or even split off from the party on stealth missions. Sorry for the long rant, but if people are wondering if it's worth sticking through because of sunk costs, let me tell you it isn't. There are so many good groups out there. It will take time to find them but it is worth it.
Extremely relatable
Wtf, there are so many issues and illogical parts of this story, that I'm baffled ANYONE played with that DM. Holy shit.
I think you had one of the worst DMs ever, like ever. Both deciding how you can cannot roleplay your character and allowing sexual assault to happen at the table. I'm sorry that happened, D&D can be so much better.
Glad you got out
If anything, any glimpse of sexual assault in a D&D game by and moreover on one of the player is a sign that you should quit this game
As an old old DM about 40 years of experience my advice is......listen to your players in most ways they tell the story, let their actions change your story.
Yikes.
S-ual content in D&D is really dumb as fluff.
Cant believe people actually do this. Wow.
Greeting ancient wizardly friend. GM/DM/PC since ‘78. You hit the nail on the head.
nurd
I have three DM's right now. The first one puts us in such dire situations that we are more likely to run away from an enemy rather than fight. The escape option is always there, but winning a battle is always rewarding too with him.
The second one, you just can never expect what he is thinking and is going to happen, putting you on the edge of your seat.
The third shapes stories around our characters so much. She makes you feel very involved making it feel like you can express your character more.
I love my DM's!
Those seem like good dms intact I would love to play with a dm who does what the second and third dm do
that's great , I have a dm who works triple shifts and always cancels as well as a dm that tells great stories but hardly involves our backstories exept for one magic item description if were lucky
let me clarify he did let us do whatever we wanted he just didn't incorporate our backstory's into the... well, the story
You have three?!?!?! I can't find one.... And I am one.... Think I'll have to switch to online...
I find "killer" DMs like your first one really fun most of the time, but I have the bad habit of getting way too attached to my characters 😂
I just started playing D&D in the beginning of this year. We're between our mini-campaign and our full-campaign and my older brother, our DM, is prepping everything. During this time, I decided to run a one-shot. I did this for a few reasons:
1. I like storytelling
2. I want to try and DM
3. My older brother is a forever DM for his friends and now us, so I wanted him to get to play (he hasn't had a PC in 8+ years)
It was a hectic mess in my opinion but everyone said they had fun. I tried getting some feedback and what I could improve on and they all just said I did fine. I have really bad impostor syndrome, so I can't just take this to heart. Especially since they ended up going completely outside the story I planned and retold it in a way I didn't even consider.
Watching this video, though, gave me an idea of why everyone said I did fine. I didn't try and force them to do anything. I tried my best to improv when they went off the beaten path, rather than railroading them. And ultimately they DID reach the conclusion I had planned, though through a hilarious string of events. I do feel better about how I did now and plan to run another one-shot in the future with what I've learned. Hopefully that will be a little more organised and a lot more fun!
TL;DR Thanks for the video and confidence boost!
This is really relatable. I'm a new DM with very little actual D&D experience, so I have a lot of anxiety and also feel like a hectic mess. It is fun though, but it can be really overwhelming!
Just wanna add these since they were constant issues with my first (and only) group:
1.) *Please* just stick to one-shot campaigns if you're not going to keep it running after 1-2 sessions.
2.) Don't hype up your campaign, and then cancel it immediately beforehand. Either because you didn't work on it, or because you no longer want to run it.
3.) Don't decide you'd rather do something else like play party games *on the day of the campaign.*
Nothing hurt as a new player more than never *actually* getting to play my characters, even when I recycled concepts for new campaigns.
My Uncle was our main DM until he moved and that man wouldn't just change settings, he would change entire game systems every two or three sessions. With the system changed came setting changes and it drove me insane.
I wish I had understood the idea of one-shots when I first started playing back in the 1e days. The people available to play with back then never had the time or dedication for long-term play, and it would have been so much easier to do short sessions with immediate goals that we could resolve in one day. Instead, I was left with years of frustration at never actually getting to play meaningfully very often, and wasting lots of time trying to make my own campaigns that ultimately no one was interested in or had time for. Not to mention wasting too much time in character creation for only a few hours of actual gaming.
Oh shit, you mean other people have had the dm just decide 5 minutes after starting to play Gartic phone?
I'm a new DM with really bad anxiety and I always feel like backing out 5 minutes beforehand, but I know how disrespectful that is and I always end up enjoying it if I push through that initial stress.
Thanks. This. So much this. This is what eventually made me give up being a player a decade ago and never looked back. 😒
*me entering this video thinking you were about to roast some Direct Messages before adjusting my brain to GinnyMode* 💃
does Bernadette play D&D??!
Coming here from Karolina's video about 1613 Polish plague survival guide and seeing that you've commented on both already makes me feel so valid
Omg hi bernadette! Glad to see you occupy nerdtube as well :)
SAME
Omg is Bernadette a dnd player? 😍
This video tricked me into thoughtfulness and empathy, 10/10 would get clickbaited again.
Me, and some of my friends, had to cancel a campaign with a new DM because we all started to feel frustated, and now watching the video, I understand why we weren't having fun. It felt like the DM wanted to get a win over us, instead of telling an interesting story. It sucked because I love playing D&D.
Remember: There is a big difference between punishing players, and delivering the consequences of their actions to them in an impartial way. D&D needs consequences.
I've seen DMs AND players become confused at the difference; with some DMs thinking anything that kills a PC is punishment, and some players thinking any time they find themselves in a seemingly unwinnable situation is punishment.
Example to illustrate the difference: While DMing a homebrew campaign, the PCs were thrown in prison. They managed to escape their cell, and I had carefully planned out a stealth scenario that would have been tough, but fun. They totally could have stealthed and deceived their way out of prison with no alarms. I say "could have" because what they actually decided to do was run up to the first guard they saw, and punch him in the face. Doing this would be a REALLY horrible way to try and escape a prison; there are tons of guards and reinforcements can be called quickly...and that's exactly what happened to them. They ended up, unarmed and unarmored, battling against roughly 16 guards.
Fortunately for them, they rolled well enough to pull off the most unlikely escape ever. BUT, because of their colossal error in tactics, I had no choice but to unleash this really unpleasant situation on them. If anyone had died, they would have deserved it, and it would not have been "punishment." I also would not have fudged rolls to help them survive, because their death would have been *their* mistake, not a result of me making the encounter too hard.
I don't think that's really a tactical error; it's an error in estimation. As in, your players felt like they were playing a movie scenario... something like a hallmark prison escape from a Three Musketeers film, or something out of Zorro, or a video game action escape. The real world implications of punching a guard didn't really come home to them--they assumed they'd be able to knock out one guard and keep a rolling, FUN setpiece of action. They felt like big heroes, and wanted to escape prison like real heroes.
In response, you treated them like regular people, and while I'm glad it all worked out and especially that there was no ill-intent on either side, that's the kind of thing that usually needs a session zero or establishing rules and discussions on. A prison break is like a heist, it's something a lot of players have huge aspirations for one day getting to run through, but those expectations often come before or supercede their normal game routines; it extends beyond their character's playstyle, beyond worrying about safety, or beyond considerations for the situation. The players see the chance, and they go to take it. And it might have worked out for them if they could have knocked the guard unconscious in one punch, which sadly D&D is not built for.
Now, it may just be me, but I feel like anyone dying in that situation would have been a major misplay. Not only are you realizing the full, realistic breadth of the number and response time of guards--having them work like a well-oiled machine--but you'd be ignoring that prison guards are trained, taught, and armed to subdue prisoners, that healing and non-lethal methods exist, and that the PCs were likely prisoners for a reason. And to me, being put in a prison as part of a storyline, and killed during the escape which you had obviously planned for (and even mentioned you had in mind for) them, that feels like being railroaded into a situation and then punished because I didn't handle it how YOU, the DM, wanted me to.
Again, it might just be me, and I I might be speaking too strongly; I only have your description of the situation to go off of, so I can't read any nuance that isn't there, but it reminds me of several situations I've had with former DMs who made some pretty bad decisions over the years, and in defending some of them often made the same kind of statement with a lot of the same language.
So apologies if I overreached, but do consider discussing such viewpoints on the game with your players in the future. I can't count on my hands the number of times I've seen issues between the players and DM over the game world--things like a random murder, or specific roleplaying interactions, or roll requests out of nowhere--that ended up being caused by a difference in how both sides of the table viewed the world, or the specific situation.
@@Levyathyn Well, as mentioned, they DID all survive the escape. Also, I did know my players' expectations, and they knew mine (we'd had stealth sections before, and the NPC who unlocked their cell warned them to be careful).
When things went wrong, they acknowledged that it was their choices that led them to that point, and that they should have made some kind of plan. Two of my party members can polymorph/wild-shape...and yet neither of them opted to scout ahead.
A few sessions later, they would go on to tell me that-while it was frustrating in the moment-they really enjoyed how I handled that whole situation.
If they'd said "I want to try to knock this guard out," I would have let them. They didn't. They literally just wanted to run up and punch him lol.
You're right; they had their "action hero" caps on, and weren't thinking. They literally had nothing but prison clothing...not even spell materials. Even so, they did have some pretty obvious options at their disposal, and they didn't use them. To me, that is a tactical error.
Throwback to the time an npc decided to try take on several guards on his own and we had to jump in and help him 🤣
our DM would have saw us rolling well and introduced more guards until someone died.
I played with a group for about 2 years. Our GM did a lot of bad things. Nerfing abilities out of the blue. Pitting the characters against each other, even though the group requested "no pvp". Forcing bad choices on to the players, and then explain the alternative, which we always found out was an even worse. She would often push our limits, and when she found a players limit, she would push them harder. That rarely happened with me, as I play for the story with all it's bad and good moments. However, she would keep trying, and one day she found my limit. My mother passed away from cancer, and at the next session, she choose to have my characters family slaughtered, and insisted that we should play the scene where my character found out.
The week after, the group disbanded, and you might wonder: "Why did we play for so long, with such a terrible person?". I talked with the other players about it, and we all came to the same conclusion. We kept showing up to this horrible treatment every week, because we enjoyed each others company. Not a single person were there for the game, but no one knew how to say it.
Sorry, but... why didn't you all just have a direct conversation with your powercrazy dm, and then walk out on her if she didn't listen? You could set up your own party without her!
That is awful. I hope you never have a dm like that again.
@@cristiananao294 Ideally they would have talked through the issues at an early stage, but sometimes life doesn't work like that. I think one of the strengths of Ginny's videos is giving a language to identify and talk about problems, but also to give a permission structure to expect better before things get so bad that the only option is a break. And sometimes a break is the best option.
I'm sorry that happened to you
@@cristiananao294 The issue is that a lot of the time problems aren't always noticed right off the bat. A lot of people might look at situations and think "this might be a one off" or "surely it'll get better right?" or "I don't want to look like I'm complaining so I'll stay quiet".
"I want to help correct the problem, not just complain about it"
I wish i could like this video twice for that alone.
We had one DM who didn't think he played favorites. He didn't see an issue with one of the players literally helping him write the adventures each week. Guess which player was automatically liked by every NPC that wandered by, got the best treasure, succeeded in everything he tried, etc.
To the "ignoring players bounderies" I have to say, that it is also in the players responsibility to communicate these kind of things. I have been DMing for a multitude of groups for over a decade now and I only had this happen once to me. It was in a homebrew campeign where I described a trap, where the walls started to close in on the players, slowly but surely. I hade one player whom was extremple claustrophobic and eventually she started to break down and scream at me out of game for why I did this to her and accused me of putting that trap in there to hurt her.
I did not know that she was IRL claustrophobic and in no way shape or form, did she communicate it to me before the game. Therefore, unless your DM is a mindreader (which I guarantee you, he is not) then tell him what you would not like to have in your game. To the aspect of "endagering children" or "using a real life fear against the player" I have to say that it can go wrong really fast, but it can be really rewarding for character development.
In one game, this couple who had 2 children, where both rouges and where kind of selfish and evil as hell. But at one point, I created a situation where there where children endagered by an unknonw entity. These two guys, who normally only looked out for themselfs and the coin they could gain, did everything to stop that from happening and even got themselfs in harms way to protect the children. They where also smart enough to weave it into their character development, telling the other party members, that they once where orphans who where treated horribly and that they would do whatever is needed to prevent that from happening to other kids.
That's what the session 0 is for and that's a DMs responsibility..
@@lb8384 We had session 0. I asked the players the usual questions and took notes. If you don't communicate with me, then it's on you.
@lb8384 its not just the DMs responsibility. that is bullshit.
To be honest If someone is so absurdly discontent with a particular phobia as benign as Arachnophobia or claustrophobia being DESCRIBED in a fictional make believe game, they unironically need to go to therapy. That is not a healthy level of irrational fear, that is straight up paranoia and obsession.
I have the thalassophobia, But if my character is trapped in deep water I'm not going to scream in fear. I'm looking at a paper at the end of the day.
@@SSL_2004 Told her that. She got even angrier and never played with us again. Good riddence, I say. I jokenly killed of her character in game by having her being crushed by two walls as a joke for the rest of the party.
But yea, every other player (I had two people who had strong arachniphobia) rolled with it. Sure, they felt uncomfortable but they did not completely lose it.
"Don't throw spiders at your arachnophobic player"
I am reminded of when my players decided to go to the spider infested warehouse instead of the ooze infested alley because, and I quote, "Brandi has arachnophobia so these spiders will be easy" and then proceeded to almost die as I described the swarms of spider babies crawling all over them lmaoooo
(I didn't make the encounter more difficult because they said that, they didn't tell me until after why they chose it but it was hilarious)
That was a bit misguided logic on their part. I am a spheksophobe (wasps/hornets) and if I ever made an encounter with those insects it would probably be a (unintentional) CR30 nightmare. If my mind itself sees something as utterly monstrous, of course it would be even more intimidating than usual when facing my players.
character of one of my friends had a phobia of large doors because the shitty DM in the previous game she'd tried, used one to kill off her character
@@Mordring hello fellow spheksophobe :D
yh same, I have trouble just looking at pictures of them so if I ever have to put them into a story they're meant to be terrifying
As a DM with a fear of heights. I tend to fling characters up into the air a-lot. Cackling as they smack back to the ground.
Always have a fly spell/item or feather fall handy guys.
@@awesomechainsaw or be a high level barbarian. The max for fall damage is 20d6 and you will get a round to start raging in the meantime. A level ten barbarian with the phb average health with a +5 con will have a max HP of 125 and the average for 20d6 is 70. With raging, that’s 35 damage on average, or just under 1/3 of their max hp. Fear doesn’t tend to do well against math.
Worst d&d experience I ever had was my first one. My school had just started a board game club, and several d&d groups appeared. I was acquainted with the dm of one group so I decided to join. Wrote up my halfling rogue, with a little back story and everything. Session one begins and the party is on a ship. The dm starts describing the ship yada yada. I was the first person to do anything. What the DM didn't tell us was: *We were stowaways on the ship, and not supposed to be there.* I was caught by a guard and chained up to the mast. I remained chained up to the mast for the next 4 sessions, so I stopped coming. I think the DM just didn't like me I guess.
Edit: This was my freshman year, and each session was two and a half hours.
This is terrible. I had similar experiences in LARPs, when a senior character or a npc forces players to perform some very dull tasks, or keeps them imprisoned forever. This kills their gaming opportunities. It's nice if the player is caught and chained to the mast, but the GM must provides options to break free, or helping npcs, or anthing that breaks away from a stale situation.
Wow rather basic information your character would of known. Oh I didn't book passage. I always try to offer info I think their character would know. After all. Sometimes a player forgets something their character would know. Within reason. Like sometimes my players will ask about a monster they are fighting. Do I know this about a vampire. My rule of thumb is this. WHen it comes to things like Vampires, ghost etc. Things people in the real world know about. Clearly a adventuer of even the most basic levels would know. Oh Vampires and sunlight do not mix well. Given they live in a world where these things actually exist and are in that line of work.
Who wouldnt like a Rammus main
Yeah... that's a heck of a thing to leave out!
holy crap.. I'm sorry that happened
Theres absolutely nothing wrong with saying "these are the books we're using for character creation" as long as its clear upfront and eveyone has access to the books.
I used to play with my older brother and some friends all the time, and my older brother was basically the forever DM, which he actually liked, and he was a really good dm, I've not noticed really any of these things and I'm thankful for that, you know a dm is probably good and fair, when they don't get mad when you accidentally ruin an entire encounter because of one clever spell, or action, and instead get a congratulations
I just started a campaign that includes my wife, who is playing a TTRPG for the very first time. As we were all rolling up our characters (old school), she was getting incredible rolls and ended up with amazing stats. Then, in our first session, I handed out a private note to each player describing a nightmare they had the night before, each one unique. Some of them shared their dreams verbally, others were disturbed and didn't share with other characters. When they asked my wife about her character's dream, she said "It was nice, very pleasant" and there was a long pause. What's funny is that it wasn't SUPPOSED to be pleasant, but that's how she interpreted it. Now I feel like I have to do something dreadful to remind the players that she isn't getting special treatment, lol.
What if your wife's character was just lying? Like in movies, the main character often sees something disturbing, but when asked about it, they just say it was nothing.
Or what if your wife's character is a Nightmare Fetishist?
Sounds like "Joke's on you, I'm into this $#!T"
I think your wife is just an anime protagonist.
*Sees hell for the blink of a second*
"What happened?"
"Nothing, never mind."
@@VanNessy97 a WHAT
I did fudge a roll one time, in my family game, for my brother. He’d been down to death saves twice already this session and was rather annoyed. So I fudged a roll, and the second hit to him missed. He didn’t have to roll death-saves. They got out of the fight all alive and he started having more fun.
I think that is exactly the point. I think fumbleing a role as a dm it has to go both ways.
As A dm I fudge at least 2 roll each game. It's usually to stop a player getting critical hit and downed immediately, we used different critical rules so the damage is way higher. Often I've had multiples enemies in a round crit and often alone one to actually crit, I don't mind if the pcs die, but I'll do what I can to try and make it awesome for the pc
@@lanxreedalenlum3706 I've fudged 1 or 2 rolls. Thing is I'm not sure if my players noticed. I hope they'd tell me if they did.
@@Squeekysquid to be honest some of them probably will. One of my has realized, but I've spoken to them and they understand why I make decisions like that sometime. We are all here to take part in a good story. A death at an extremely pointless moment doesn't do that.
The same player just started my new campaign and we had planned together to kill of his PC in the first episode for a better story.
3 sessions in and it's going well so far
DMs should always be fudging rolls for their party unless they are being stupid. The game is about the party, not the DM defeating them.
On point 6, one of my personal tools for making sure the player expectations are met is I always start my campaigns low level and I always have introductory qrcs to gauge what kind of story my players most enjoy interacting with. I've had too many experiences where I set up either a dark fantasy setting and the players end up in goofy roleplay or vice versa that I've started to test different scenarios with my party before I settle on the tone and techniques I use for the meat of the campaign. My current game started with kobold raiders where I found out my party liked a nice balance of comedy and serious in character role play, then there was an undead attack arc where a friend was kidnapped and they went super intobfiguringnout traps and puzzles. Now they're in a city and they've dug themselves into starting a revolution! If I went with my initial high fantasy ideas and big bads right off the bat, it wouldn't have clicked well since that's not where my players find the fun, and we've ended up with a much better game because of the early game tests of tone with em!
One of the important aspects of this that wasn't touched on, is that the players and the DM all all empowered to choose to play with different people. For example, if a DM wants to run a grimdark campaign, the players don't get to say no. They can chose to not participate, just like if the players say they want to play in a dungeon-crawl combat focused campaign and the DM doesn't want to, don't. Let those players find a DM that better fits their style.
lots of new players that started with 5e have a very twisted vision of the game. a twisted view that says every game should run with the exact rules in the handbook and must use Wizards of the Coast* material only.
I genuinely appreciate your expression of this fact. Compromising on the type of game you run leads to mediocre campaigns where neither the DM nor the players are happy because the compromise they've made feels unsatisfactory to both sides. Naturally, in such a situation, the DM either burns out and quits or some of the players leave and the campaign fizzles out. It's much more productive to stand your ground, don't compromise on the type of the game you seek and spend time to find other people who actually like the same type of a game as you do.
"Surprise, here's thoughtfulness and empathy, you sucker!" Ginny Di is the embodification of chaotic good.
Here you go guys:
1. The take away player agency: 1:38
2. They treat players unequally: 3:04
3. They ignore player boundaries: 6:08
4. They abuse their power: 7:17
5. They fail to be a leader: 8:23
6. They don’t set expectations: 9:16
7. They reject feedback: 10:07
8. They become player’s enemy: 11:16
Thank you 😊
Not all heroes wear capes!
SHOOT, thank you, I usually add an index and just spaced it this time!!
@@3nertia ♥️
@@GinnyDi got you
Thank you for mentioning the children in peril situation, that cropped up in a game recently and I'm a new parent. There was a baby that was left crying alone and hooked up to strange medical apparatus and my character was the only one in the room. I had to nope on out of that situation.
It's not the first time this GM had overstepped his bounds with sensitivity issues but he is improving.
This video honestly convinced me to leave the Curse of Strahd game I was in. The Dungeon Master in that game I was in hit almost all of these points and as such sucked the fun out of the game for me. And I definitely feel better now that I left. So thank you for that.
I genuinely appreciate that "this is me giving you permission to quit a game you aren't enjoying" because GOD I WANT OUT OF THIS TABLE but I feel so guilty about it.
I had to bounce out of a game one of my best and oldest friend was running because IT SUCKED. And that was very, very hard.
Honestly it gets a lot easier with more experience. "Sorry, it's not a great fit for me so I'm going to step away. Nothing specific, just not enjoying it as much as I could. Have fun everyone!" ... all that's needed.
@@shinankoku2 What made it so sucky?
Do it! You have the right to find a fun d&d group, don't stay miserable.
@@gray_rain we were playing Lost Mines of Phandelver. The DM suggested we play the pre-made characters so that we’d have backgrounds that hooked into the story. So I did just that, even though I generally avoid pre-made pcs ... and, literally NO ONE ELSE did. Which is fine in and of itself. But then whenever my PC’s background story popped up, I was immediately trampled by the group. For example, there was a gang in some town that my guy had run afoul of; I started to engage NPCs in a little rp, right? Well, the rest of the players rolled their eyes - a couple of them quite literally! - and just engaged in murder-hoboism, attacking the gang out of hand. This happened more than once. I had zero agency in the game, and the DM just laughed right along with it.
I dunno. Even describing here it seems a little lame. But it wasn’t fun. And I’m kinda pissed at my friend.
Lol I came here hoping to make sure that I’m not a terrible dm but I’ll gladly accept empathy and kindness haha
Paradoxically, people who worry about being bad DMs are typically the best, because it means they actually care.
@@christophersanders3252 Inverse-paradoxically (??) people who worry TOO much about being bad DMs are often paralized and sabotage themselves instead of just having fun with their friends
Yes, yes, and yes
For #1: totally within the GM's rights to restrict class and race, especially if it's to reinforce a theme or setting. Players are entitled to make their own characters, they just can't make whatever they want.
Definitely within their 'right' but its a huge red flag if a DM has to reinforce those restrictions to stick to their railroad track rather than come up with creative reasons a player can push or even outright break those boundaries. The game is for the players, not the DM.
@@richardderatte6672 Definitely the case that there are bad reasons you might want to ban a race or class. But personal pet peeves aside, the GM does have the right to a vision of their game. I fundamentally believe that while GMs shouldn't be overly restrictive, players do have a responsibility to be charitable and open to the GM's vision. If you are joining a Horror game, you should be open to the world's tone and theme, otherwise you should probably just not play with that GM.
@@victoriousf.i.g.3311 I don't agree. The DM is a player, it is also for them, they should be getting fun and enjoyment out of it too. Maybe you're the world's best DM and you exclusively gain enjoyment from the player's enjoyment, but usually it's the case the DM has some vision the players should be at least open to.
The issue is if the restrictions come up after the thought. E.g. if a DM "allows" a player to play a race, and then enforces non-disclosed penalties for that race after the choices are made and the campaign has started, or wasn't up front about the kind of issues they might face.
Like it'd be one thing if a player is told that tieflings face some prejudice in the world, cause that's what you'd expect based on the PHB even, but then you find that what the DM actually meant is tieflings aren't allowed in most cities period, and most merchants refuse to even deal with them.
Or you take a perk to get a familiar or pet, and then the DM arbitrarily restricts how your pet works *after* you get it and spent the resources simply because they don't like pets.
Or a DM deciding to houserule that warlocks should get spells back only on a long rest *after* you started the first session as a warlock.
If it's all disclosed up front, there's no issue. In fact elements like that are often big parts of theme games. But the players have to be put on the same page as the DM before they start.
@@Zedrinbot Words of wisdom.
I had a DM who awarded me half of the experience that he gave to the others because my archer "wasn't in the same amount of danger as the others". So, I was punished for playing a concept. This house rule was not expressed before the game began. For my second session, I took off my armor and jumped into the horde of orcs screaming, "Experience, Bitches!". Then I casually packed up and left the house never to return.
Session Zero is endlessly valuable to both players and DMs.
I've played under DMs who have fit every category she mentioned here.
Especially the boundaries. Had a DM use the game as a way to hit on my wife. Or another that used the game as a medium for making fun of me being on the Autism spectrum. If your DM does those things, its time to GTFO
I'm also on the spectrum. I had a really good DM when we played a campaigne on deployment. Up until I got removed from the group because a girl he had a crush on who worked with us didn't like me. Apparently she'd never dealt with someone on the spectrum and just harrassed me and accused me of doing it. She's a nasty, manipulative little shit.
as a fellow autistic i've never really been made fun of for being autistic but this is still infuriating to me, he took what was a fun adventure game into a form of mockery for something that was out of your control, did he even have a specific annoyance or was he just making fun of you for just that?
jfc i’m so sorry that happened to you
I am a veteran DM who now bans certain races and classes, depending on the campaign. Every once in a while, my players ask me to run a pirate campaign. In one GURPS pirate campaign, a player insisted on playing a Centaur Ranger. This did not end well. He fell into his own ship's hold one fight! In another 3.5 pirate campaign, I had a player who insisted on playing a Lawful Good Human Paladin, with full plate armor and a warhorse. During his first combat, he tried leaping aboard another ship, fell into the water, and drowned. The boarding failed, and the party had to flee. Some of my friends are lovable knuckle-heads, and if I do not outright ban misfit creations their poor judgment can derail the campaign. These days, I let the players decide as a group which campaign we will play and tailor or create from there. I'll still accept an outlier, but there needs to be a solid reason why a Human Vengeance Hexblade Paladin-Warlock is exploring the Underdark with a strike force a vengeful dwarves rescuing kidnapped kin from the Duergar, and a frank discussion of why, even Rules As Written, sometimes what you always wanted to play might prove to be a detraction from the campaigns we've collectively chosen. Sometimes, I think some players take joy in derailing campaigns and spoiling every one else's fun.
I'm either about to be called out... or about to call out one of my DM friends lol
Update: Both occurred and uh... thank you Ginny for a lesson that not everything goes how expected (and maybe I should make my campaign a bit more open ended so I'm more prepared next time my party tries to jump to the BBEG)
Ok just cause I need an update. Were you called out or can ya now call someone out?
Or was it both?
In this world it's either call or be called
Sames
@@acedesigns9309 I have so many DM friends I could call all of em out in just the smallest way (except for my best friend who for some reason is just really good at rolling what we throw at them)
Every DM here be like: "Are we the baddies?". DM gang, WHERE YOU AT?
Not to worry, I'm always the baddies.
Sweating the entire time watching this being like:
_"Oh god, do I do any of these things? I hope I'm a good DM"_ lol
ho yeah.
@@Nyanx4 me the entire video
I'm always looking to improve my skills as a GM. And while I was a little nervous to click on this vid, I'd rather grow, than not know.
I wish I had seen this video a few years ago. I completely quit D&D due to a whole year of playing with a toxic group and not wanting to leave out of fear that they wouldnt hang out with me anymore if I left. Turns out, I should have left like a month into playing and those people were NOT my friends. When I eventually did leave, they were only upset because it meant they had 4 players instead of 5, and couldnt play one of their fav campaigns as a result. The entire time I was playing and being horribly mistreated by the other players for simply being a noob, the DM did nothing(actually, in his defense, he offered 1on1 sessions to help me learn, but I worked part-time outside of school and d&d so I didn't have the time).
Now, about 3ish years later, I'm learning to DM and just bought my first book! If there's one thing I have to say to people in a similar situation as me: don't stress so much about not being super powerful or not knowing everything. If your group really cares, they'll work WITH you, not against you.
I had a DM that would listen to our plans, then do things to actively thwart them. It was terrible.
I've been doing dnd for a long time, and I remember playing it when I was really, really little. Like, on my dad's lap as a child and just asking if I could roll dice for him. These big, burly dudes were so enamoured by the idea of me playing DND, they all say around and made me a character. Who was just this little elf boy, who I still use but is now an adult.
The DM was fantastic until little untrained me started picking up on his puzzles and solving them. I was like 8, and my dad was the only one not drunk, so they didn't pick up the patterns easily.
So, the DM started targeting my character, and when I finally 'died' he gave the details to this gruesome death that was so horrific, to a child... that all the players quit and reformed without him. Giving me back my little elf boy in the new game.
I've learned from that and draw from it regularly. I've been playing for about 22 years now, Dad still plays whenever I ask him to. My brother plays, and several of my friends play. We always try to have a healthy session zero, but when there are players who have never played before it can be difficult. So I sometimes set up things over discord or Skype before hand, so there are things that can be discussed while in the session zero.
We also have different papers to cover comfort levels beforehand, and clarifications of things.
There's a lot of ways to have healthy dnd sessions and those healthy sessions can turn very quickly if something isn't addressed. I hope to use this as a reference for future games, that way players are also aware it's okay to critique me or pose ideas.
Thank you for all your helpful tips and tricks!
I do like that the best puzzle solver in the group was the 8 year old, seems on point with average D&D player capabilities
You sound like you wear a helmet to dinner. Yikes
@@ricflair8907 wtf is wrong with you lol
At first I was like "Aww, that's so cute and wholesome!" And then when the DM got overly salty, I was like "wtf?"
Did they have you in combat? They didn't just tell the little one to go hide until the fights over?
The first time I ever played D&D was at a weekend-long party with a bunch of friends from high school. We had eight players and yet our DM decided that he would also have a player character. His girlfriend was one of the players and as such end up getting super special treatment as well as immunity from any other player disagreeing with something that she wanted to do. To make matters even worse the DMs player character was the hero of the land in which our campaign was set. People worship at his feat. Even the king bowed to him. We were merely his entourage. There was no need for any other player to role-play because his character took care of everything given that he was a hero of the land. During combat he would subtly discourage players from over describing their actions and hed give no description of the interaction between other player and the enemies. Hed say simply hit or miss, roll this or that and then move on. However, on his turn he would describe the Glorious ways in which his character would obliterate all the foes in front of us with is dual wielding greatswords that gave him no disadvantages despite being level one. He was also the only character that ever managed to kill anything as when an enemy was damaged he would swoop in and take the kill. It was clear that this game was just his personal fantasy jerk off section that he invited all of his friends to be a part of. Luckily for me I recognized his narcissism for what it was and it didn't end up ruining D&D for me. IDM for friends and family and my local game store on a weekly basis as well as being a player in a few games myself. That first "game" I was a part of showed me a lot of things that I knew I didn't want to as a DM.
That's a bad DM .
I sometimes run npc henchmen when my players hire them but they aren't the one being heroes .
They merely help the players by acting as camp guards or secondary fighters and many times I allow the players to decide what their henchmen is doing in combat but I still make the rolls in the open for them .
I also use loyalty to determine if the npc and party come across something truly monstrous and make a loyalty check with modifiers based on the hiring players charisma loyalty bonus to see if the npc flees or stays with the party .
It makes the npc's feel a bit more real and not like cannon fodder
I've had dungeon Masters who have play a character, While running the campaigns.
And I have even done it myself. But this guy didn't know how to DM. And was just being a jerk.
Jeez was this guy 9 years old?
Yikes.
S-ual content in D&D is really dumb as fluff.
Cant believe people actually do this. Wow.
The player boundaries is especially important in the Ravenloft setting. I'll be sure to ask player limits in these games (because I'm a huge fan of the setting) so I can make everyone as comfortable as possible.
Players with limits have no real place in Ravenloft. Trying to make Ravenloft a universal setting when it was designed to cater to horror fans is gatekeeping in and of itself. It's like men demanding that Barbie cater to them. They aren't the target audience. They have no right to demand concessions.
@@timreynolds4785 people have a right not to have boundaries crossed. Your comment is gatekeeping and makes you one of the worst types of D&D players: the ones who thinks D&D should only be accessible to a select few. You can make horror without crossing boundaries, dude. That's why there's more than one type of horror genre in Van Richten's.
@@EmeraldTG I mean, no. Horror is all about freaking you out, and in order to do that, some boundaries must be crossed. That's what makes it horrific. The only exception might be comedy-horror, but if we're being honest, the horror's not really the point in that one.
And no one's gatekeeping anyone from D&D. Its really simple, actually. If you want boundaries and safer game experience, just don't play Ravenloft. Because that's not what Ravenloft is. Sure, you can change Ravenloft, but the horror is the point. So, if you're gonna change a bunch, why bother playing it at all?
@@MRJTD99 you don't need to try freaking everyone out. D&D is a game, you need to realize that. Some games are meant to push boundaries, yes, but in D&D, there are players with different comfort levels. You don't need to push boundaries to make people experience a good horror game. That's why you ASK BOUNDARIES. What if players are good with being freaked out? Then go for it, be as creepy as you want. But for my games, I'm gonna ask boundaries and respect them while still keeping in the spirit of Ravenloft. You do you, and I'll do me.
@@MRJTD99 also, really? Commenting from like, three months ago? You've had to really come up with a good argument, huh?
Thank you Ginny! You teach wonderful not just DM skills, but also just people skills.
“The DM’s goal shouldn’t be to defeat their players” oh she’s talking about me next! *sits on deceased party*
@#Whitegirlmagic Oh it always gets real with the edge of the empire game. Nothing keeps you on your feet like almost get blasted or eaten
@#Whitegirlmagic I know what the players want and how to give it to em Lol
@#Whitegirlmagic unless you plan to usurp them and become the DM
@@rennac3152 I stranded my party in the lower levels of coruscant. hindsight, bad idea. but was hilarious and we all had a good laugh.
@@RunningWithRoses what it’s all about at the end of the day right?
"You could write a book."
Looks at a previous dm who was writing the campaign as a book as we were playing it. They had us do what they wanted or else we were punished to fit back into the story: "God, just only do that."
Choo Choo ! All aboard the railroad express!
Textbook awful DMing.
I will say, the idea of chronicling your players story as a book is interesting, but the moment you start saying "no, do this" is a problem.
In the campaign I'm in, my DM's pretty good. Only one thing annoyed me, and it was when I suggested a player make a drow PC, just for varieties sake. We had a half elf warlock(me), a halfling(now tabaxi) cleric, human fighter and dragonborn war cleric. This player was gonna be a wizard, I think, and for varieties sake I said be a drow. Dm responded with "Oh, so you want to team kill them?" I took as a Joke and then said "Nah, just for varieties sake." And after back and forth, he basically said my character would immediately attack them because they are a drow. I responded with no they wouldn't because they aren't that kind of person. He then said that yes, my character would attack them and then accused me of trying to change the world. I eventually relented and the player made a high elf wizard. That's in the past though, and he's still a good DM. That little interaction is still stuck in my head and a bit annoying, since I'm pretty sure I know my character better than you, since I MADE THEM.
@@jamesmonroe1538 Yeah that was a pretty bad move on your DM's part. Even if drows are universally hated and often attacked on sight on the DM's world, that doesn't mean your character *has* to follow the norm. He may have his own opinions on drows, and/or simply not think it's worth the hassle and risk of attacking them, even if he also hates them, and would rather just avoid them. Feels especially stupid to expect a Warlock of all people to be that condeming of an entire race.
Edit: to sum up, world building should never, ever weigh more than character building, and the DM should never say "Your character would/wouldn't do this". Just write your own damn book if you want to decide everything for everyone.
@@CidGuerreiro1234 Yeah, it's just...weird. I try my best to roleplay him as someone who truly tries his best to give both sides of an argument a fair shot, he sits back, looks at evidence then makes a decision. (or at least, that was my intention. I don't think I'm doing a good job of it for the most part.) At this point, it's water under the bridge and me and the DM are good friends, but still memorable.
Honestly, when it comes to content I personally have hard bans in my group that were pre-established. However this had to have been amended eventually due to switching out members over time.
the most recent example was nearly a year ago when a player's character basically took the corpses of wolves (He was playing a jotun, basically think of a slightly larger goliath from Forgotten Realms) and basically tied all of their tails together and strung them up on a stick. Well, they got into a dumb situation and attempted to use it as an improvised weapon, because he was a lolsorandom type player and as soon as I saw someone uncomfortable with it, I always covertly text the individual as a check in and if they say they're uncomfortable, I cut the situation. It eventually boiled down to "Yo, not gonna lie. You're making people a bit uncomfortable with the whole graphic animal abuse thing." and he said something along the lines of it's just harmless fun and I just said "I asked you to stop. If you'd like, I could stop the session to have a long discussion with you about boundaries in a social setting." and then he finally acquiesced.
Remember, it's your job as a DM to back people's boundaries, because boundary pushers will drive people away and your lack of action will cause everyone else to lose faith in you as a leader.
Acquiesced is a good word.
Why did your group didn't discuss things like this at the start?
Now one player felt bad and other one couldn't do his crazy plan.
@@marccel7799 Often times, even if things are discussed in Session Zero, situations like this are just...not anticipated. Things might have been agreed upon expecting to never have to address a situation like this, or the player who wanted to do this might have interpreted it as not breaking any of the agreed upon rules, while everyone else was just left going "WTF, why would you do?!". People often see things differently, even when it's discussed as a group; your own interpretations and understandings color how you interpret what's being said, even if it's put forward in what appears to be excruciating detail.
In this case, no one probably expected "Dude who has his PC tie wolf carcasses to a stick and then tries to beat an enemy to death with them," and thus it wasn't in the group's social contract to avoid things like that. However, when it happened, and the DM noticed it was causing another player discomfort, they did the right thing and put a stop to it. One player's right to fun does _NOT_ override another player's right to feel comfortable/not be squicked by their behavior, particularly when it's literally just someone trying for wacky "LOLsoRandom" shenanigans, rather than actually doing it for the sake of the game. It's no different than the guy who tries to sneak PVP into the game by dropping a friendly fire spell directly on top of a PC he's decided he doesn't like, despite the group saying that they didn't want active PVP allowed, or a guy who constantly pushes raunchy behavior on the group because "Well, I'm not trying to RP _sex,_ so I'm not breaking the 'no sexual situations' rule!" This guy kept trying to do something even after he was told that it made someone uncomfortable, and was given the choice of continuing the game without continuing that particular behavior, or to stop the game in order to discuss how he was being a douchebag. That's some quality take-charge DMing, if you ask me. It's the kind of thing I wish some of the DMs in my group had done more when we had a particular problem player, who thought he could get away with anything, just because we'd ended up gaming at his house.
If you didn't draw the line at him doing it to start with, you had no right to draw the line later on. That player was supposed to say they had a problem and the party was supposed to hash it out as a party. But that player said nothing, you allowed it, and than created a resentful player later on when you suddenly changed the rules on them.
'I'm offended' can't be an 'I win' button for players or sociopaths will use it to ostracize other players from the game.
@@timreynolds4785
Ah yes, the social contract where we all list out literally everything that bothers us at the beginning and put it in legally binding red tape so that just like a deposition, I can bring it out and state "Oh yes, so it seems here that you didn't say anything about graphic depictions of animal abuse being something you'd prefer to not see. Because you didn't update your information in our deposition, I'm gonna have to say suck it up."
So here's the thing also. If you think he was ostracized, then you're dead wrong. Him and I are still friends, him and the part are still friends. He played in our games for quite a bit of time after this situation and it was all good fun. He eventually left because he had a full time job and was going through a transitional phase out of his medications. Basically, you're projecting on me and my friends and trying to paint the guy like he's some type of victim when in reality, you're taking umbrage with about five minutes of a group where we played together for six years together with weekly sessions.
Good job Ginny, you've earned a like from me. It's been about 3 years, but I think that you've grown a lot in your advice-giving, as well as presentation. From your intro to the outro I found solid things that have helped me. I have been going through a lot lately as both a player and a DM, mostly DM. I'm still struggling with low motivation to problem players as well as problem DMs and communication issues. But I found genuine comfort from this video... Thanks
I can appreciate when a DM limits the range of exotic races or classes, but they have to say it up front and be consistant. I hate the "play whatever you want" line, then you find out later the DM has a problem with gnomes.
It’s what session Zero is all about…..
Yeah but you know when someone comes with a psionic birdman you probably don’t even want that guy at your table
Gnomes made the dinosaurs to go extinct!! LOL!
One of the most important things I've learned after GMing for 15 years is to have an open door policy. Any issues a players has with me or with another player, they should always feel comfortable to talk to me about it. As GM, you have the responsibility to have the tough talks with problematic players, and you need to be open to critiques from your players. You want a game where everyone involved can have a good time.
True, I love the full improve approach (low amounts of prep but almost unlimited player choice plus consequences), but if someone put a ton of time into a quest line I understand they'd be mad if the party ignores it
Find the missing King? Hell nah my guys wanna crown themselves the new King, me: good thing I watched house of cards
That was great advice! I have encountered so many DMs that players left because of one or more of those pitfalls you discussed. Plus, your commentary was a great reminder for things I should avoid while I DM. Thanks Ginny!
In, "they take player agency away," you mentioned that you have heard of DM's taking away race option, class options, or spells. This isn't taking away a players agency, nor is it just the DM story telling. Setting, setting limitations has been a part of the game for a long time. The producers of the game itself have done it from time to time if you look back. Raveloft is one example, any of the 2e historical suppliments. Taking away agency can be a problem, but this wasn't a good example. The dice example was a far better example.
This is very true. It's the difference between railroading and linear storytelling. Limiting your players to having one mystery to solve or a list of things that arent allowed / would get you attacked in game world isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it has to be communicated
I suppose, but part of the fun of DnD is getting to make a character with a variety of different races, classes, and spells. A great DM will make it work in the setting and story imo. Needing to limit player agency "for the setting" is not really a good excuse in a fantastical game like DnD where you can make up literally any reason why your friends are the way they are.
@@MG-mq3zf my point was that it isn't a limitation on the players agency to limit options on things like race or class, and the game itself has a history of doing so. Ravenloft, ect.
Counterpoint to DMs favoring their partners in game: my partner was new to dnd and didn’t know what to do or when, and was having trouble keeping track of what was going on. Taking a few minutes to bring my partner up to speed and give them some friendly advice on what to do was seen as “favoring” by my group because “I only did it because we’re together.” Uh, no? If any new player needs extra hand-holding to not feel useless in game, I’m giving it. No questions asked. Not to mention that this was the same group that actively sabotaged each others’ plans if it seemed funny to one player or another, regardless of how I would try to work around the problem. Sometimes the group is the problem, not the player-partner.
A) good job; B) yes, sometimes the group is the problem
Counterpoint to your counterpoint: you were not favoring your partner, you were guiding a new player to allow them to enjoy the game without having to dumb down the material. IMO this is respectful to both the new player that doesn't have their capabilities and intelligence undermined, and the rest of the group that doesn't have to "endure" an easy mode adventure if they don't want that. It seems to me that, as you pointed out, the group here was the problem, but it doesn't seem you had a double standard to begin with.
Most games I have experience even have rules that allow for this guidance to be integrated within the mechanics, with stuff like, mentors, allies, common-sense built into the characters backstory and sheet, and having them spend points with that.
Ya. I have a good group right now. I was going to say, "oh, that's why I play with people who are good at the game. They help each other!" But not in your case. If the players are being selfish then who else is to help this person but me?
Luckily I don't have self-indulgent players.
My girlfriend started DMing a own homebrew campaign after just a few months of playing herself, without really knowing the rules. This has been an interesting DM experience but somehow it totally works and we have a lot of fun. Everyone at the table is aware that there is a more loose and intuitive understanding of the rules and it is accepted for more experienced players to explain what the RAW would say in this situation - but the DM still gets the final say. And I think this could easily go wrong but in our friend group it totally works and doesn't keep her from giving us the framework for an awesome story. She is also great at taking criticism. We regularly chat about what went good and what could be handled differently the next time. All of this has lead to her getting more and more secure about DMing and already working on a second homebrew campaign, where she is excited to use what she has learned and what she knows will work. Communication really is key here: she got to improve a lot because no one at the table had the wrong expectations and we all agreed that this is how things are gonna go at the table.
The one part of that is exactly what I try do do with our DM. I realize that I have more spare time than anyone else in my group, so I'll have a better grasp on RAW than them in most situations. I try to run with that same philosophy as a player of giving my DM the RAW answer if she seems unsure, but leave the final call of how to handle it up to her.
Rule of Cool beats RAW, especially if it enhances the story and makes it more fun for the players and DM.
This is exactly what the experience of DMing should get to be^. Congratulations on together building a nurturing environment for DMs!
I'm in a group that's a lot like this. GF doesn't know the rules as well, but BF does and he'll help her out with it, but she's calling all the shots and it's her own homebrew world we're playing in. It has turned out to be a silly campaign and a lot of fun.
That is pretty awesome!
Thank you for this advice! I'm a first-time DM, and I really needed some help knowing what to do and what not to do. Thank you so much!
I’m a new DM and I learned a lot about what to do,and not do,thanks so much :) very helpful
One DM forced my character into a relationship. Like, no clothes, too much details. I didn't have any good time with them after that :( My character was suposed to be an ace elf.
I mean that's just a form of sexual assault.
Or at the very least a violation of your consent
oh no
godamn…
I'm so sorry
Ew, that DM is a straight up creep
Bad DMs will, perhaps accidently, do one or more of these things. Good DMs will, probably accidently, do one of these things at some point, own up to their mistake, have a good conversation with the group or privately with the player involved, and fix it.
Yes.
Had another side of being DM's SO. The guy was great until we started dating, then he became paranoid that he'll accidentally give me special treatment, so he did the exact opposite and started acting like shit in-game, while trying to make up for it offline. Needless to say, ditched both him and his game
I’ve actually heard of this happening much more often than vice versa
Brutal. Below average looking D&D nerd finally gets a girlfriend and she leaves him because she struggles in the D&D game session.
Beyond over for that guy
@@loth4015 yeah, poor him. Was not below average looking though - dude was like 100 percent my type, handsome af with perfectly clear skin. If anything, I was the below-average looking person in this relationship lmao
@@hathatto1129 shows a good personality is better than some good looks and clear skin, hm? :)
I feel like I'm the odd one out sometimes. People will be like, "Man, he's such a jerk but he's so darn handsome." Meanwhile, I guess when I see someone's nasty personality, their physical appearance mirrors it for me.
You totally did the right thing. Hope you found a good DM actually worth your time and attention lol.
@@josieviolent I actually did, thank you for your concern :) This experience, however nasty it may have been, taught me a lesson, and I moved on.
Nice tips! For me, the best format for feedback is Kieron Gillen’s Stars and Wishes format. Everyone goes around and awards “stars” to people for cool/fun/smart things they did. Then people can “wish” for things by politely phrasing their critique as “I wish there was more combat” instead of “this campaign doesn’t have enough combat.” Stars are mandatory for everyone, wishes are optional!
Misread this as "8 terrible DMs" and thought she was gonna put some reply-guys on blast 😆
Great video, you'll take that empathy and you'll like it!
I did that too
Maybe I’m weird, but if I’m fudging content, it’s always to benefit the player. I roll my scenarios hard, and then fudge rolls when absolutely necessary to balance them. It leaves a feeling of accomplishment when you succeed as a player. Weird that people try to make their content out of reach.
I despise fudging. If I catch a GM doing it, I immediately check out. I only do player facing rolls in games. People like it far better.
@@dexterdunbar3528
Well, frankly, you're not a DM, the dice are. You're a narrator.
That's fine, do it your way.
But that is what it is.
Treat it like editing.
You do it to make things better. A player character dying inside 30mins due to a series of horrible rolls is not fun for most people. It's okay for experienced players, but well, most people are not that.
"You're dead John, have fun spending another hour creating another character."
I also hate fudging, but understand why it's done and do play with a dm who uses it. Imo it makes decisions seem meaningless and detracts a lot of the excitement.
I much prefer sensible fudging of an encounter, such as mobs surrendering or having a little less hp than expected if I feel the dice are unfair but the players have put up a good fight.
And if the players are out matched? Have an escape option, if they don't use it, that's their choice, some great story's can come from death
@Luxian well that’s just cheating, what he’s describing is altering the game every now and then to make the game funner.
Generally I do the same, but if you're rolling like hot garbage and not landing any hits, it's not going to be super fun for players either. No sense of danger. So VERY rarely, I'll knock a miss to a hit just to keep things interesting if I'm rolling like five misses in a row. Sometimes I'll just story in a better chance to hit by switching weapons or taking advantage of the terrain for the same results. Stomp fests aren't fun either.
I love your videos and your tips. Most of the time they remind me of things I already know, but it is so helpful to hear them again and keep them in the forefront of my mind.
Very cool Video. I recruded a few people from my school to play DnD. Theyre new to it and im not so im going to be Dm and im going to use some of your tips for a better session. Thanks for helping not only me but so many other clueless folks how share the same fantastic hobby as you do. Your Videos are well made and so informative that im in awe every time i watch one. Have great day and may the dice be always in your favor.
It's funny that you bring up spiders. Just today, my group was reminiscing on our last campaign after game, with a new person who just joined us, and the giant spiders got brought up. We had been playing a module with several areas where there were giant spider ambushes. I am arachnophobic. The first time, I just bit my knuckles and got through it, but my DM gives really great descriptions of things, and it was horrifying for me. I spoke up after the battle, and from then on when we met spiders, he really skipped describing them. Couldn't do anything about the images on the battle maps (we play on Roll20), and I didn't ask that he take those encounters out 'cause I know it's hard to change a pre-made module, but he heard my issue and changed what I asked him to. It was so cool to feel heard and respected. I have been with this group for almost a year and a half now, in no small part because I have a DM I can trust.
I think spiders in role can be a good way to overcome the phobia.
@@alvixboy Possibly, but I think a good GM doesn't want to try to make their RPG be therapy.
Its amazing when your friends respect your boundaries
@@alvixboy it's not the DM's responsibility to decide when it's time for their friends to confront their fear.
If I have a friend who's afraid of getting kidnapped and sold into slavery, something pretty common in various parts of the US, I'm not going to make someone kidnap them in the game just to force them to deal with their fears and Trauma
Like bro, you're just 100% violating the trust your friend has given you
@@SeanLaMontagne it really is. It felt so good that he cared like that.
I'm almost convinced our group's DM watches your videos or thinks like you in some ways. He literally works towards communicating everything you just laid out really well, and his points, questions, etc. match your own in this video. This obviously makes it amazing to play even through quarantine, and it also means we've never had to worry about these sorts of problems.
i always try to watch these videos so i can watch out for my own mistakes!! i also encourage my own players to watch these and note down things that they notice for themselves and me!
I’ve been watching all your Dm videos so I can learn what to do and what not to do since I’m gonna dm a game kinda soon and they’ve been super helpful, keep up the good work Ginny
All these concepts apply to every genre of roleplaying game. I loved all my DMs for how they allowed us to control our characters and then tailoring an adventure what showcases what our characters can do. I strived to do the same things when I ran Traveller or Shadowrun. It may be sci fi or cyberpunk but the same concepts always apply. Most important is the use of constructive feedback players can give to the DM. No person loves to be patronized or talked to in a caustic manner when discussing what went wrong with an adventure.
"Clever ideas should be able to pay off"
A session I was in: "Let's breach the endless frozen lake in this weird bubble of space we're in, and see what's on the other side!" Turns out, on the other side was the exit from the maze.
At point 8 I would like to add that it's equally bad when the DM refuses (or is afraid) to be the enemy.
There is no satisfaction winning a fight if you know that it is no risk of you losing.
Even if you stand around 10 rounds straight stabbing yourself in the leg there will always be that random npc that will save the day and resurrect everyone so the DM don't have to change the plot...
I've been so guilty of this but it was because I noticed my players getting very sad and sometimes fun is better than rules and death
That really depends. Like they said, have a good session zero and discuss. The majority of campaigns I've run people didn't want to die. They liked their characters, they spent time making them, they got attached to them. So if we've discussed it and they don't want to die, I don't 'actively' try to ensure their deaths. If they go down, the enemy moves on to attack an ally rather than finishing them off. If a combat turns out harder than I expected, I might fudge some rolls or tone it down mid combat.
On the inverse, if someone is bored with their character and asks, I'll kill them. Or sometimes they'll be like 'I don't really want to die, but in this situation it serves the story really well for me to die here, so I'll die here.
You also die if you just do something monumentally stupid. I'm not going to try really hard to kill you, but if you want to put yourself in that position that's on you.
Of course, if the session zero goes differently, we're going hardcore max difficulty, no holds barred, slug fest. I've never run those, but I've played in lots. I like it better that way when I'm playing because DnD tends to make you a little too tough for my liking a lot of the time.
I am up front with my players on these two things: 1 you can and will probably die. But your death will never be meaningless. 2 The enemy will always act like they are smart, competent, and are trying to kill you, they will always take advantage of any opening, any weakness they can discover.
That said, I have a personal policy: No one goes down until round 3. Fights are only fun if you can get to actually fight. Also If my players choose to run, then I let them run, they need only get to the edge of the encounter map and they are free. The badies don't chase beyond that point. So far, everyone has had a good fun time at my table, even when they die.
@@sangralknight3031 Fair enough, with those rules I would play in your group. 🤘
That was my number one gripe with my last DM. After one and a half years of having three hour-sessions every week we had only had ONE death, and that on a secondary character one of our players had on the side. It burnt me out since it ended up with me hust wanting my character to die, because my personal revenge mission was too entangled in the plot for me to periodically change character.
I've literally just started DMing myself. As in running Lost Mines of Phandelver, just started. This video was perfect as I've been able to recognise one or two of these as issues in their infancy for me and can now work to nip them in the bud. Fantastic content, thanks!
That video is pure gold, even the Patreon ad was absolutely hilarious. Thank you for the wholesome sneak attak after indeed falling for the clickbait title. Guess I was literally looking for some polarizing bs subconsciously, but positively suprised to see you pointed out right away that it's not just black & white and every DM can make a mistake sometimes. Just a noob to DnD here, but pretty much agree with all the points you made from a beginners perspective. Also you seem like such a sweet and thoughtful person. Thanks for blessing the DnD community with your charming presence and such well made videos! Makes that already awesome hobby even more fun to see how diverse and lovely the DnD community actually is.
“You should just write a book”
My friend and I are thinking of turning a previous campaign into a story on AO3, mostly to spite the DM (he’s a dick) who mentioned wanting to publish it as a novel.
lol how's this going? i'd love to read it if you do end up getting it on ao3
Pettiness doesn't look good on anyone. Be the better player
Do eeet.
@@solomonoftm I actually remember when I tried to help my DM make the campaign into cartoons. He never paid me for art and just gave me "exposure" and used our age imbalance (He was 19, I was 14/13) against me. He never even helped out, and even during sessions he was super lazy at dming (he didn't have a job or school and was on discord 24/7). It stressed me the hell out because it felt like it was all on me to make these projects come true.
It never did, because he was a narcissist, ruined my mental health during the friendship. Along the way he would fight if you if you dared questioned him (like hour rants). I, who was 14, saw him like an elder figure due to him being 19, would just non-stop apologizing for questioning him.
So, if it was a situation like mine where I was used for countless art, stress, and getting screamed at, I understand. Because it *was* my work in the first place. Ngl, one of my projects is inspired by the stuff he wanted to make, but pushed me to do it. Some people are just asses like that, and don't realize the work one wants to do to make them happy.
@@janier.5674 that doesn't seem to be the situation above. It seems like it's the DMs work and they're just upset he was an asshole (according to them). We don't know but it's extremely petty to try and hurt someone for no other reason than it'll be fun to make him suffer
Gee, I remember an asshole of a DM who ignored the hell out of player boundries and believed we all needed to "Get over" our shit. We had two arachnophobic members, a PTSD victim, and someone with a speech impediment. That DM basically forced our issues onto you and onto everyone else and it was horrible, sadly one member of that old group still plays with them, another has quit d&d entirely and the rest moved to another group along with myself. So much better times and better environments.
I'm newer to watching DnD tutorials. I've RP'ed since the 80's, and it's beena huge passion my whole life. I came here to improve my ability to DM since I'm still newer to that aspect of the game. I'm grinning and you've filled me with pride. Thank you for supporting this old nerd. Thank you for your content, I've gotten some good tips from your other videos, and have sent a bunch of your videos to people wanting to learn character building and RP. May all your adventuring be profitable and create songs all bards will sing.
One of the kindest things both my DMs have done for me is taking my fear of large bugs and spiders into account. I don't mind if they're part of a narration, but having a mini on the table would likely make me want to just leave. They don't make me feel bad or have to justify my fear, they just treated it with respect and that makes me feel safe and comfortable so I can enjoy playing the game without being scared they'll try to do a 'gotcha' moment with giant bugs or something. They do the same for other players too and it makes the game so much more fun for everyone because we know when there is tension or even horror, it's not coming at our expense as people. Really enjoyed the video! : D
The more I hear about other people's bad DM experiences, the more I appreciate mine. No player or DM is ever perfect, but our whole group goes out of their way to minimize these sorts of problems - and our DM can take a great deal of credit for this. They've intentionally seeked to cultivate an environment where we can discuss these things openly, and grow as a group.
many of the bad stories about other dms are probably fake, invented for 5 minutes of fame
"Life is short, and D&D is long."
-Ginny Di
You nailed it!
Your 'warlock patreon' approach was unique enough that I actually watched it.
I Started as a player in a group that was really discouraging about everything i did, and it really changed who i was because these were my first friends. I began to not care about myself and try my hardest to make everyone else happy, otherwise i would beat myself up over it.
After around two years the group disbanded, and about a year later i had worked long and hard to afford the rest of the core rulebooks, and painstakingly created a homebrew campaign that i had drempt of for ages. I found some more people and invited them to play my campaign over the summer
it's nice to know that i haven't made any of these mistakes (I think), im glad i'm doing something right, i'm not good at much else
its so nice to see a wholesome and calm down-to-earth channel like this, if you're reading this. Thank you!
Had a DM that would always bring out the level draining undead when characters were getting "too powerful" or just flat out kill them with lethal traps or monsters that always seemed to be focused on the high level characters... except the NPC's that were virtually immmortal.
That DM has since passed away, but my friends that played D&D in his game still use phrases that have immortalized his chicanery in infamy.
He got too powerful and needed to be dealt with
Ginny is one of few people who can make a sponsorship ad both fun, persuasive, and informative
The only sponsor segments I ever legitimately enjoy are Ginny and Not Even Emily
Ryan George (Pitch Meetings) is the best at it. I skipped Ginny's advert. I never skip Ryan's :)
#5 is exactly why my gf, me, and 3 of my friends left our last group and I started DM’ing. So far so good but videos like this are really helping me make a great table for everyone else! Thank you!
I want to say Thank You Ginny I just got out of a really close-knit group, but the DM kept telling me every week you are the problem. To know I did the right thing even though it wasn't on purpose helps a lot.