OP1: I don't even like kids. I hoped she wasn't mine. OP1, five minutes later: She's the smartest and best young woman I've ever met and I cried over how beautiful she is in person. I admit it. The instant girl-dad transformation was cute as hell.
Yeah, I was trying to figure out why he was so upset. If she’s not looking for money and doesn’t blame him for not being there (seeing as how he didn’t know) then it’s a simple matter of letting her know where she comes from. I think that’s what most adopted kids want to know, same as anyone who does their family history. What were the people I came from like?
Story 2: I'm so mad at the mom here. Like, how can you defend someone who CHEATED on their son? I would be yelling at the cousin to explain himself and giving OP emotional support, not continuously defend the cheater who ruined their son's life! Ugh.
She either is a cheater as well, has always treated the cousin as the golden child, or both. OP did mention that he couldn't count on his family for support, so the golden child scenario is the most likely.
Story 3: Geez, that was nasty. Even brought the war into the conversation even when it has nothing to do with the sedar at OP's parents' house. And then came the hidden Air Tag, which is common with abusers. Lily, what's wrong with you?
"It's not anti-semitic! We're against Israel, not against Jews as a people!" *Proceeds to spew some wildly anti-semitic shit and then tries justifying that by mentioning the war in Gaza.
@@Exodon2020 German Ashkenazi and direct grandchild of a holocaust survivor here, The Israeli Government is also killing civilians and evicting them from their own land. Do not conflate the actions of a Government with those of it's people overall, elections can be coerced or falsified. Lily is koala level dumb though
Obviously Lily didn't even bother to Google "what is seder?" before attending one at OP's family home. That's the only way she could be so 'shocked'. OP dodged a bullet.
One of my best friends discovered he has a daughter from a one night stand. They live in the same state though, and he is very much involved her life now.
Um, are you friends with my uncle? That same thing happened to him. His daughter found my mom (his sister), then him, through a DNA database during the COVID lockdown. My uncle is happy to have her in his life. :-)
My uncle found a 25 year old son. So now I have a new amazing cousin, that I had even met before, even if we never talked ^_^ It was pure Joy from my entire family, and apparently his family and udbringning hadnt been the Best. So I am happy we can help ^_^
As a non-Jewish woman married to a Jewish man, it’s absolutely wild to me that someone could date a person they knew was Jewish and then get upset at them for doing normal Jewish things like a seder. Antisemitism as a whole is nonsensical, but this is just extra-strength stupid.
It also seems odd that you'd agree to attend a seder and not bother to learn ANYTHING about it before going?? She could have asked OP about the tradition. Or just used Google.
I think she assumed that OP and his family are Zionists which yeah would of course be a deal breaker but OP explicitly said that they’re not so idk why she continued her distance from him
I'm very surprised Rslash didn't have anything to say about the first story because it was so sweet and wholesome! He usually has something to say about sweet stories like that one
*2nd Story:* At least OP's getting proper help for his issues now. Cousin's still a terrible person, but at least helping with the therapy costs shows that he's now acknowledged what he & his now-wife have done to OP's mental health and are taking small steps to remedy that. Don't just _say_ you're sorry, _show_ that you're sorry.
Yeah, the best outcome is that OP is getting some help now. The cousin and his wife are terrible people for cheating AND for doing so IN HIS BED! wtaf?
I really doubt the cousin is genuinely trying to show he’s sorry by paying for therapy, it’s more likely he got forced/guilted into it. If he was sorry, he wouldn’t have married OP’s Ex, he’d have cut her out of his life
Cousin just wanted OP at the wedding to try and put on a show of “all is forgiven, let’s just forget about it”. Backfired worse than a rusted out, old jalopy.
Story 1: This is actually a really nice story. Very sad with what happened with the mother but i’m glad Op and his daughter have really started to form a nice bond. Really hope this goes well for them
I've heard the second story before and I've wondered ever since then why the heck you'd ask him to be his Best Man. It's like he had unresolved guilt or something. That last story: absolutely antisemitic and a nut job on top of that. Personally the "jewy" comment probably would have been enough to end the relationship because it's enough to tell you the person has a problem and that's not the kind of thing you want in a relationship.
Cousin wanted to put on a show for the family. Make it look like all is forgiven and they can all big a big happy family. Obviously, the cousin isn’t the best decision maker.
If you stole a close family members partner and haven't even talked to them in over 3 years, why on earth would you call up that person asking them to be the best man/MOH? Are you trying to dig the knife as far as you can? Like, good for the cousin, he paid for a small, minute amount of the damage he caused but seriously, the cousin is so fricking cruel and i kinda think he was *TRYING* to hurt OP as much as possible, only to play savior in the end Edit: oh, then to give them the mic, expecting them to say how great the bride/groom are, saying nothing about how they really got together, the utter audacity
They were expecting “everybody else forgave us so now it’s this person’s time to forgive us so we can have OUR happiness.” They were expecting conformity and acceptance.
That Last story: Don’t worry Rslash no one understands the mind of someone who is racist let them be stupid and don’t question it your mental health will thank you for it in the long run
So apparently it's ok for your cousin to ruin your relationship but it's not ok for you to return the favour and expose them, op I'm sorry your family is full of hypocrits
Some more context on the "next year in Jerusalem" part of the seder. It's more to do with Jewish apocalypticism and some metaphors than nationalism/zionism. The Jerusalem was supposed to be a kingdom of god on earth. Obviously that didn't happen. The more zionist version would be "l'shana h'ba'ah beyerushalayim *habenuya*", or "next year in jerusalem *rebuilt*. That version emphasizes that the jews are currently in jerusalem and they are waiting for the kingdom of god to be established. As if the process is already in motion. The original, milennia old "l'shana h'ba'ah beyerushalayim" is mostly religious and/or metaphorical.
I once participated in a seder. None of us were Jewish but all Christians. It was really solemn and a really great experience. Thr host really did her research on how a Seder is done. I'm sure we messed up something but it was really cool to see a side of Jewish culture most people don't see.
@eric98292 you need to experience it when lead by Jews much different vibe especially when in Hebrew. I have a Christian family due to a convert to our side of the fence, and they came almost every year to experience it.
Honestly one of the most frustrating things about the last story is that now being Jewish isn't just a religion, but also an ethnicity. You wouldn't get mad at an atheist for celebrating Christmas and singing about Jesus in a predominantly Christian region. Not to mention the mess of it now sort of being a political state?
Ha, that hasn't changed. It always was an ethnicity and religion. This girl couldn't be more stereotypically racist, hating OP's blood AND religion. Pretty nasty to see how racists are birthed.
Yeah she’s got the same mindset as those people who thought that every Muslim person was a terrorist after 9/11 happened Edit to add that Judaism is technically an “ethno-religion” meaning that it is mostly associated with a specific ethnicity, but still technically a belief set. And also that there is more than one type of belief set within the umbrella of Judaism. Some people (Orthodox Jews) are very strict about their beliefs, but most people are reform/generally believe, but are not nearly as consistent about their practice of the religion. And some Jews are atheist but still consider themselves Jewish (for a variety of reasons, but usually because their family is Jewish/that’s how they were raised).
It's wild to me that people can't separate Jewish ethnicity and culture from zionism. I don't know what the last OP's views are, but there are plenty of ethnic and even cultural jews that disagree with what is happening in Gaza. Her being bothered by him being connected to his culture and seemingly not wanting him to participate in his religion because she's seeing all jews under one blanket of the actions of extremists is, in fact, racist.
Considering people can't separate Arabic ethnicity and culture from ISIS either, it's not surprising to me at all. Racism lacks logic, after all, and ignorance is a problem worldwide.
Considering people can't separate arabic ethnicity and culture from the "Islamic State of Iraq and ash-Sham" either, it's not surprising to me at all. Racism lacks logic, after all, and ignorance is a problem worldwide.
Considering people can't separate "middle-eastern" ethnicity and culture from their own version of zionism-that-can't-be-typed in this comment section without getting deleted, it's not surprising to me at all. Racism lacks logic, after all, and ignorance is a problem worldwide.
Considering people also can't separate the extremist people behind the eleventh of september and the area of the globe they came from, it's not surprising to me at all. Racism lacks logic, after all, and ignorance is a problem worldwide.
GF: (uses word that is inappropriate/offensive) OP: Hey just letting you know that word is inappropriate/offensive GF: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME OUT FOR USING A WORD THAT INSULTS YOUR ENTIRE HERITAGE!? IT IS MY RIGHT TO EXPRESS MY BIGOTRY UNINTERRUPTED!!
Last story - The war is really making people crazy racist in both directions. Let's be clear, guys. Being Jewish doesn't mean you support the genocide. Similarly, opposing the Israel government doesn't mean you have to be antisemitism. Peace and love, y'all.
I will say though the hypocrisy for not calling hamasa terrorist group when that's exactly what they are on the pro-palestinian supporters. It is beyond stupid. I can condemn Israel and the way that their government is behaving and understand the people of Israel are not responsible for that and I can understand that Hamas is a terrorist organization that needs to be wiped off the map. But that doesn't mean every Palestinian is Hamas. Mind you the last survey amnesty international did over 82% of them support Hamas. And this was pre-war. I will also say to the undecided voters that are protesting the Democratic convention. It's very convenient that they didn't protest the Republican one and are talking about how they're not going to vote for Kamala and Tim It's beyond stupid. Because you have to think of the election like a runaway train. There's going to be a president of the United States in November irregardless of how much you protest, how much you have all your self-righteous speeches. You're not going to stop it. So we have to look who's on those tracks that that runaway train is on. Do you think Trump missed your all Muslims or terrorists the Muslim ban. Moving the kappa American embassy into the city of Jerusalem is going to support the people of Palestine. Come on guy. So either way there's going to be a government that's going to be willing to work with Israel. But on the Republican track, besides the people of Godzilla, there's every non-white Christian in America. Thanks to project 2025. There is abortion rights women's health NATO and most of us are too young to remember a world before NATO, but it wasn't good. As bad as it is now. It was worse before NATO. You have every environmental policy ever created to try to make the earth cleaner, the air cleaner and the water cleaner. You have the lgbtq plus community you have Ukraine. You have every immigrant in this country. On that trade track. So you can be stupid and make your stand and tell everybody in the world how much better you are than everyone. Cuz you didn't vote cuz you won't support genocide. But you are supreme Dennis eye. Because you think Trump's going to support Ukraine. You think they're going to support Palestine come on people stopping some stupid and self-righteous. So it's great in all to be like peace everybody but that's not the world we live in. We live in this s***** one and we have to wear learn to work inside this s***** one.
@timon6759 is not a war, but a genocide. If it was a war, both parties would've fought equally, but that's not the case. For 75 years, Israel suppressed and killed innocent for its bloodthirsty craziness, and it's using the Holocaust only to justify its actions today
I found out about my bio dad when I was 32. He died before he found out about me. I wish I had the balls like ops daughter and had talked to him. Don't leave things unsaid, folks.
I'm happy that everything worked out in story 1. But just because you wrap your tool doesn't mean 100% Protection. In story 2 I don't think I was the only one who saw what was coming when op was invited to the wedding. What a speech. Though I didn't expect his cousin to help out with finding aid for op. I don't really understand story 3. It's a bit confusing for me, but I do hope op is happy.
That last story kind of makes me feel bad. He’s done nothing wrong, he’s exactly the same man he was before, but his girlfriend’s weird misconceptions about Jewish people and culture ruined a perfectly good relationship. I don’t think she’s trying to be antisemitic (but I could absolutely be wrong), I think she’s just stupid.
@@GreenBeret1903I bet you’re just dying to have someone ask you what that is … it’s not even a common practice among us, only a few do it and most Jews do t even know what it is.
This is what is meant by Zionism hurts all people including Jewish people. Having Zionism use religious symbols, and centuries of struggle of Jewish folks to justify a genocide against Palestinians muddies the waters and allows for confusions like this to happen. I’m adamantly pro Palestine, and I didn’t know about that tradition (I’m not Jewish). If I was to be invited to it and I didn’t know I might also be uncomfortable at first. I see that girlfriend was wrong with tracking him and telling him that bad word. I see the gf was right until then.
Specially with the her aunt's side. It also depends on how Jane's mother portraited OP, it obviously wasnt in bad light and she obviously put his name and phone number in a place that she knew Jane would find some day and let her choose whether she wanted to contact him or not. There was no calm way she could put it to OP either, I mean, just how do you say to someone "I think you are my father, did you know such and such back in XYZ year?"
With respect to the last story, before the update, I kept thinking, I sure hope it isn't what I was thinking it was and lo and behold, IT ABSOLUTELY WAS. OP did the right thing in dumping her. I'm Jewish and my wife is Catholic and even she is suprised how often this difference in religious background comes up. Luckily, I married a Saint!!!
4:08 please read the parentheses for things like this! I was genuinely concerned cause I listened while driving. I only saw the unspoken part cause I went back to comment with a timestamp after I stopped driving. Good luck to those who use the podcast version frfr
1st story: Doesn't sound like he's fully invested in his daughter yet, but he is absolutely being there for her when she needs him. Way to go, Dad. 2nd story: OP's mom probably insisted on the cousin coming to every birthday party growing up, and the cousin would leave with OP's favorite gift every time. Taking away his girlfriend is just an extension of that. You also know he only keeps that toy until it breaks, and he's done with it. 3rd story: What an astounding level of stupid.
And have had the same number since about late 1994 or early 1995. I have only ever had one number. I have a data simcard that obviously has a number, but I never remember it, and nobody has it either.
Sometimes it’s not “hidden” so much as “don’t want to bother him, he didn’t ask for this.” Or sometimes “he’d be so mad!” Or “I’m so ashamed of myself and this is my fault.” And sometimes it’s “my body, my kid.” Hiding DEFINITELY happens, I’ve seen that, too. But it’s not *always* that.
Final story: Context, I’m a Palestinian-American who was effected by the 1993 and 2001 WTC attacks (see rising anti-Arab violence, that one call to create an interment camp for everyone with Arab and/or Muslim descent) and learned more racial slurs and treated the worst as a child than as an adult. Why would this matter? Anyone who is never aware or grew up around with the Abrahamic Religions and the cultures that grew from it, would jump straight to the current year conflict. What I’m trying to get at, OP is NTA, isn’t crazy, isn’t overreacting etc. She is like the reverse Trisha Paytas. The ex is weird and that air tag would (in my opinion) boarder on mental instability at least and criminal action at worse.
Aww the first story is so wholesome and cute I wish Op and his daughter's bonds strengthen as the years goes on~😊 Story 3: I think my brain f***ing exploded then WHY IS SHE DATING SOMEONE WHO IS JEWISH???????????????????
Instead of the gf being interested in Seder and what it historically entails she says he’s “ too Jewy “ and uses a tracker .. to find out he’s going to temple?? Thank goodness he left…
#1: That was a wholesome story, though a bit somber indeed with regards to the mother. The only thing that stands out is...how the hell do you not remember whether you used protection or not??? 😂 Also, I don't know why, but my mind kept wandering to Quagmire from Family Guy when he met his daughter... 🤣 Story #2: Invite your cousin, who's girlfriend you banged in his bed, they said... Ask him to be your best man, they said... But seriously, how the heck did you think that was going to end?? Good on OP for that speech, that took serious balls! I'm glad he's doing better and hopefully not wanting to self-snub anymore. Story #3: So she had no issue with dating a Jewish guy until the war? And even then, it took a little bit of getting familiarized with the culture to turn her? That just makes no sense... But hey, OP, bullet dodged at least...
I can't believe that the cheaters would even invite their victim to the wedding, let alone as the best man. Best of luck staying no contact with your family.
For Story 2 it's simple: what OP did was NOT CORRECT...HOWEVER... it was JUSTIFIED. That's it, plain as day. Correct and justified are very different. You can be a A-hole but a justified A-hole. People will get mad obviously but also they brought it on themselves.
It may have been wrong, but the wrongness was next to nothing compared to cheating and then inviting the victim of cheating to participate in the wedding.
Story 1 : Tell them the truth op.. Update : Thats a good start... Update 2 : Thats fantastic that it went better then expected.. stinks what happened to jane mom ... Story 2 : Op is cold and honestly i love it...his response is the best non-violent response.. Update: If i was op i would still stay away from the egg donor who would rather stand on " how things look" then have her own sons back against entitled cheaters... To hell with them all... Story 3 : Ahhhh ok something is off with lilly... Update: Yeah something is definitely off with lilly .. called antisemitic..
Story 2:Yo cheaters,Here's 3 easy steps to get your partners back and undo your actions Step 1:Lay on your bed. Step 2:Close your eyes. Step 3:Keep dreaming,You filthy bastards.
Cheating a father out of the choice to see his child grow up is one of the most disgusting things you can do. It's right up there with falsely accusing someone of a crime. It alters not only their life but the child and everyone around them. Don't be selfish. Give him the choice.
8:38 A new rule: (1st one is not to mess with IT guy) 2nd rule: may be it is not a good move to make the one who you cheated to your best man or bridesmaid...
Story 3: Antisemitism has always confused me, but I don’t understand at all what her thought process could even be when she hid an AirTag in OP’s car to see if he was going to a temple! Like, if she had follow up questions (like “so do you regularly attend temple?”) then it sounded like OP would’ve been fine answering it?? What even was the purpose of hiding an AirTag??
Honestly? As a person who doesnt want or like kids, finding out you have one thats already 18 sounds like a accidental pregnancy best case scenario! The kid is already an adult so all of the "i don't like kids" reasons have been circumvented, and now you get to bond with a cool person and get to know them free from parental expectations!
It seems very fake. It requires the bride, groom, their family to be real dumb and the guy has no brothers or best friend that he reaches to his scorn cousin.
The last story... Wtf is wrong with that girl? So she denies being antisemetic, but instantly think that OP being a jew and having ancient traditions, means those are somehow connected to the Gaza war... And then tracks him if he goes to a temple??? Why does she care? I thought she didn't care about him being jewish, but then she needs to TRACK him if he acts out his religion, after she said that she needs time??? I am sooo lost on the crazyness of that girl.
The first story had me kinda choked up because I was that child. My biological father knew about me as a baby, but he died soon after I was born in a motorcycle accident. What I've learned about him is only through my cousin, who has a family tree and family photo album he researches as a hobby. I'm very grateful for him.
Story 2: Before I got too far into the story: having your cousin as best man is generally an OK idea. Best man is supposed to be your closest friend. It is suggested that you should know your best man/maid of honor/matron of honor before dating indicating that you have an excellent friend to ground you in what is sure to be an emotional time and to have that same grounding while married. OP is not the best man material after what his cousin pulled. That was unwise from the word "go."
For the last story, ever since the conflict has gotten more widespread coverage, people are conflating Judaism with the actions of the Israeli state, so I understand why she feels that way. It still doesn't make it okay to make that assumption or pull weird shit like putting a tracker on OP.
Reddit ruined me. Im so pessimistic now in that first post i kept waiting for "and now me and my daughter are engaged or some fucked up shit like that.
As a native German speaker I cringe when English speaker try to pronounce German words But then again that would probably do that too because of my "th" pronunciation 😂 You just know how it's pronounced and if you hear it mispronounced it just sounds weird 😅
For story one I immediately thought it was a scam. Not in the same way but someone I know (kind of) got stolen from by dropping names. They went into one of the bars from the company my mom used to work at and dropped the name of some high executive saying so and so told him to ask the barista for 500 euros and she'll do. She gave him the money as there was a slim chance he actually knew the guy and wasn't bluffing. Then she called my mom panicking about the stolen money, and learnt to call the people in charge first to verify. But the more the story progressed here it seems very plausible.
Glad the ruined wedding one got an update. I've heard about that story about that guy ruining his EX and Cousins wedding (seriously... you decided to invite the EX of the one you cheated with... and it back fired on you, what a DUMBASS) but it's nice to know he's okay... but hearing he had been planning on... ending it... that hurt to hear.
I think bestof may be my 3rd favorite reddit stories behind amIthedevil and prorevenge. I think its because i like the closure it gives on some stories.
Story 3: Ok while I like that OP's girlfriend supports Palestine (As do I), she clearly doesn't understand that just because someone is Jewish, doesn't mean they support genocide.
Jup, my BIL speaks Russian and had to deal with people cussing him out because they though he is from Russia and supports their war against Ukraine. He is Ukrainian....
Story3: so what if he went to temple? what is the phrase i keep hearing, you can criticize the state of Israel without it being a critique of the religion/culture? and that's 100% true. Many Israeli nationals despise the actions of their country. Maybe not a majority, but the point is that there is a distinction, even in that country, let alone elsewhere. How wild.
2nd: OP is lucky to had dodge that nuclear warhead of a 'girlfriend'. With that said: How stupid, entitled and straight up cruel, to, not only invite the person you cheated on, but make your best man of your wedding. That speech of OP very surely shock everyone. Damm, bro went back and double scorch earth on those pos. Lastly, I was expecting some people to disagree with OP, but his OWN MOTHER?, damm.
I get where the therapist is coming from when they say "help learn that rejection is a normal part of life", but somehow I dont think that statement really applies to walking in on your girlfriend cheating on you with your cousin. Maybe that's just me tho
The depressive guy who vows never to move on from being cheated on should have just rejected their invitation to their wedding. I would have sympathized with him feeling a need to vent to family and friends about the unpleasant history that made him not want to attend. But maliciously going that far out of his way to infiltrate and ruin the wedding years later, especially after their best attempts to apologize and offer him a place of honor in their ceremony.... just leaves him looking like a mean looser to exploit their effort to make amends. Loosing a girlfriend to another guy who she chooses to marry is rough. It did not "ruin his life." That unforgiving spiteful attitude will though. EDIT: makes sense that this was from someone on the verge of self terminating. Clearly not the way a mentally healthy person should cope.
Story 3: Poor OP. I hope he finds a new gf who is not actually a weird paranoid racist jerk. Story 2: I am actually pleasantly surprised that the cousin was one of the people offering to pay for OP to get therapy. He still shouldn't have had an affair with OP's gf, but at least he wanted to help OP deal with the aftermath once he understood that he deeply harmed OP, which is a lot more than I was expecting out of him. Story 1: This story wound up being really sweet. I feel bad for the mom, but I'm so glad Jane and OP can be in each other's lives now. Also, "Mom and sister still went a bit apesh*t, but dad knocked them out with a large club he always carry with him (to the nutcases, no that last bit didn't actually happen)." RSlash: *doesn't say the bit that it didn't actually happen* Me: oh no lol
Last story im not sure if OP had the full picture here. Because that sounds not antisemetic at all. That sounds like someone who has a problem with very religious people. And there might be reasons for that. Growing up with people like that or having an Ex Partner who was really religious or had a really religious family might make you paranoid about something like that. She only started doing that after getting lectured by your father on some Jewish traditions. Why not just invite her to dinner first without doing a specific religious tradition. I know a lot of Jewish people see it more as a cultural thing (but its nearly impossible to seperate that with religions that you have to be born into). But for everryone else who is not into religion its more or less the same as getting dragged to the next church to meet the catholic parents of your partner. Wich would be super strange. Still putting the Air Tag on OP is going to far. But i think OP is the one who started this mess. His GF just overreacted with the airtag. Also the word "Jewy" gets used by Jews as well and can have a positive or negative meaning ("There are two distinct senses of ‘Jewy.’ The first can sometimes be disparaging, since it refers to stereotypical behaviors or qualities. The second suggests someone or something that is the opposite of assimilated, and can be either positive or negative, depending on the user." Jewish English Lexicon) so she also gets a pass on that. Or "I come from a long line of Jewy-looking Jews. My dad was twice-named Schnoz Magazine’s ‘Man of the Year.’” - Scott Rogowsky. Also saying the phrase "Next year in Jerusalem" was a big f you to all muslim people for the last 70 years but right now it sounds more like making fun of killing more than 10.000 children. So when it comes to being offensive maybe OP should not throw stones while sitting in a glass house.
Last story: my partner/mother of my child is Jewish. She's not go to temple all the time type of Jewish woman. Her family wasn't too strict on her Jewish upbringing, although they did celebrate Jewish holidays and read from the tora. I am not Jewish. I'm a white dude from Texas. I personally think it's hilarious that my life partner as well as my daughter are Jewish. I love it. I've learned about Jewish heritage and I do encourage my daughter to embrace that part of her heritage. Weird that someone would be creeped out or turned off about someone being Jewish
I met my birth father for the first time around COVID. I can tell you one of the exact days I was visiting him because while we were listening to the radio and playing cards, the January 6th riot was ongoing. He was kind, but his family comes from wealth and has a massive support net. I don't. I've always lived in poverty from paycheck-to-paycheck, never developed the sort of familial bonds other people do, and have recently been diagnosed with AuDHD as an adult woman. I enjoyed meeting him and being with him, but I was so ashamed of our difference in social class and how quickly he wanted to bond that I've avoided him since. I keep telling myself I'll get in touch again when I'm able to stand on my own financially. I'd hate to become that unknown relative that comes around asking for money.
Theres a lot of people out there who claim not to be prejudiced as long as you don't "put it in their face." Inviting GF to a Seder put OPs jewishness right in her face and her antisemitis came out. good thing OP found out about his GF before things went further
Last story is strange. As an atheist myself I know how it feels to be weirded out by super religious people. Granted I have no problem with religious people at all, really just fundamentalists, fanatics and extremists. No lie, I get weirded out every time my religious family does a pre thanksgiving prayer or something like that, but I grit my teeth and bear with it. When I'm dating I set the tone clear about that. If she was super anti-religious, she should have really said something. Also taking her to a seder when she is meeting your family for the first time is absolutely overwhelming.. but she's also a psycho.
What's bonkers is that "next year in revived Jerusalem" is just part of the prayer. It has nothing to do with zionism. Even Israelis and even Israelis who literally LIVE IN Jerusalem say it.
The kid thing happened to a guy at work. He’s like 50 and last year some girl in her 20s got ahold of him and it did end up being his daughter. Always fearful of this happening to me, i got snipped before i had a kid just to make sure i never have any.
Story 2: You know, while I can sympathize with OP cause he is the victim, and believe me, the petty side of me would also pull this stunt if the hurt really is that bad. However, I have to disagree with what OP did, cause while that speech is cathartic, I really don't like facing the flying monkeys sent to brigade cause someone's "little feelings" got hurt, as if OP's weren't either. Look, I am not saying I do not care about OP's feelings, but outright rejecting the cousin's demand and standing his ground would have been better in the long run. I have a hunch the reason the cousin even made the boneheaded decision to make OP the best man is cause he needs OP to be around to validate his relationship, the exact one that drove a proverbial dagger through OP's heart. The crap show may be fun to witness, and I know it's very hard to be the bigger man, but had OP just adamantly refused the cousin's offer at all, that would have been the bigger and long term victory, cause the lack of validation from the victim will get to the cousin's head. Plus, I also think OP should have just told the reason why when asked, and if people can't accept it, F them.
My mother recently found her father. My mother asked me and my siblings to get an ancestry test all of us not knowing you could find family members though it. After she took it she found her father and messaged him. To say he was shocked is an understatement he’s an old man but from what I’ve been told he said “I believe it” to him having a daughter the moment he learned about it he flew to us to meet his new family members! He’s been really kind my mom and him have really started to bound. He actually called me for my birthday to wish me a happy birthday which was really odd for me cause I’ve never had a grandpa do that for me.
On the 2nd story: While vengeance can feel good at the moment (venting about how his cousin stole his girlfriend and is now marrying her - at the wedding), it is at best a coping strategy (but not necessarily a good one. Life is filled with coping strategies, but many of them are ultimately self-destructive. (Drinking and drugs can be used to cope with past traumas, but in the end they destroy your body and your life, while the trauma lies unresolved in the background the whole time). Vengeance is the same way. It can feel good at the moment to nuke someone’s wedding, if they can truly wronged you (and they had), but it can set you up for a lifetime of similarly vengeful behavior that leaves a trail of destroyed people (rightly or wrongly) behind you. In this case, it could also affect your relationship with other family members who disagreed with the way you handled it. It might not be that they disagree that you have been wronged, but with the way you dealt with it. I think this is one reason why forgiveness is so important in the Bible (which is not passively saying, “It’s OK” like Eeyore, but is a letting go of wrongs done against you so that they don’t eat at you).
I am _so_ envious of Jane. My dad took off when he found out my mom was pregnant. They were just kids, so I don't really blame him, but when I was 15 my mom helped me find him through Yahoo lol. We made contact, but he stayed incredibly distant for 10 years, and I didn't want to push myself on him. He contacted me a bit more in my 20s, but neither of us could afford the trip to where the other lived, and he passed away suddenly before we ever got the chance to meet. I still regret not reaching out to him more.
Man a betrayal like that is life altering and thinking everything will be fine ok I’m not surprised that the op did what he did i remember this in R/AITA
![YoungBoy Never Broke Again - Sneaking [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1ILUps2zDFU/mqdefault.jpg)
OP1: I don't even like kids. I hoped she wasn't mine.
OP1, five minutes later: She's the smartest and best young woman I've ever met and I cried over how beautiful she is in person.
I admit it. The instant girl-dad transformation was cute as hell.
To be fair: Skipping the diaper phase as well as puperty might have helped a bit xD
It was cuter than I expected lol
Yeah, I was trying to figure out why he was so upset. If she’s not looking for money and doesn’t blame him for not being there (seeing as how he didn’t know) then it’s a simple matter of letting her know where she comes from. I think that’s what most adopted kids want to know, same as anyone who does their family history. What were the people I came from like?
That dad made all her dreams come true. Total green flag 😊
Dad when getting a daughter: we don't need a daughter
Dad amd daughter after getting daughter;
Story 2: I'm so mad at the mom here. Like, how can you defend someone who CHEATED on their son? I would be yelling at the cousin to explain himself and giving OP emotional support, not continuously defend the cheater who ruined their son's life! Ugh.
It’s the “family unity” over everything. Mom is more concerned about appearances over actual emotional support.
My mother did the same thing i got cheated on with an ex almost 10 years ago and my mother still defends her.
The mom is a cheater and as we alll know...
ONLY A CHEATER, BACKS UP A CHEATER.
She probably wasn't sure if it was true as it was the first time hearing it, and also wondering why her son made a scene and was rude publicly.
She either is a cheater as well, has always treated the cousin as the golden child, or both. OP did mention that he couldn't count on his family for support, so the golden child scenario is the most likely.
Story 3: Geez, that was nasty. Even brought the war into the conversation even when it has nothing to do with the sedar at OP's parents' house. And then came the hidden Air Tag, which is common with abusers.
Lily, what's wrong with you?
"It's not anti-semitic! We're against Israel, not against Jews as a people!"
*Proceeds to spew some wildly anti-semitic shit and then tries justifying that by mentioning the war in Gaza.
@@Exodon2020 German Ashkenazi and direct grandchild of a holocaust survivor here, The Israeli Government is also killing civilians and evicting them from their own land.
Do not conflate the actions of a Government with those of it's people overall, elections can be coerced or falsified.
Lily is koala level dumb though
Random white women: I’m soo Pro Palestine I won’t date men that too “jewy” because of what Israel is doing
Antisemitism.
Obviously Lily didn't even bother to Google "what is seder?" before attending one at OP's family home. That's the only way she could be so 'shocked'. OP dodged a bullet.
One of my best friends discovered he has a daughter from a one night stand. They live in the same state though, and he is very much involved her life now.
How old was the kid when your friend found out?
Um, are you friends with my uncle? That same thing happened to him. His daughter found my mom (his sister), then him, through a DNA database during the COVID lockdown. My uncle is happy to have her in his life. :-)
My uncle found a 25 year old son. So now I have a new amazing cousin, that I had even met before, even if we never talked ^_^
It was pure Joy from my entire family, and apparently his family and udbringning hadnt been the Best. So I am happy we can help ^_^
that awesome, I bet every time you guys hang out he bring up his daughter how awesome she it etc and you became her god father
I'd just assume it's a scam tbh
As a non-Jewish woman married to a Jewish man, it’s absolutely wild to me that someone could date a person they knew was Jewish and then get upset at them for doing normal Jewish things like a seder. Antisemitism as a whole is nonsensical, but this is just extra-strength stupid.
It also seems odd that you'd agree to attend a seder and not bother to learn ANYTHING about it before going?? She could have asked OP about the tradition. Or just used Google.
I find it odd that OP doesn't even know the history of Israel and that the 'current' state of Israel is actually 3000+ years old.
I think she assumed that OP and his family are Zionists which yeah would of course be a deal breaker but OP explicitly said that they’re not so idk why she continued her distance from him
@@avashnea I find it even odder that you think the state of Israel is 3,000+ years old.
@avashnea sounds like Op is a reform Jew if he goes to the "temple" so yeah they probably don't know
I'm very surprised Rslash didn't have anything to say about the first story because it was so sweet and wholesome! He usually has something to say about sweet stories like that one
The man was probably sobbing on mic and had to cut it XDDDD
Could have been lost during the editing.
Ngl I thought rslash was going to tear up from reading that story since he’s also a father
RSlash knew we are tired of his daughter anecdotes lol
@@pablodiaz2792 Who's we? I still think they're sweet!
*2nd Story:* At least OP's getting proper help for his issues now. Cousin's still a terrible person, but at least helping with the therapy costs shows that he's now acknowledged what he & his now-wife have done to OP's mental health and are taking small steps to remedy that. Don't just _say_ you're sorry, _show_ that you're sorry.
Yeah, the best outcome is that OP is getting some help now. The cousin and his wife are terrible people for cheating AND for doing so IN HIS BED! wtaf?
I really doubt the cousin is genuinely trying to show he’s sorry by paying for therapy, it’s more likely he got forced/guilted into it. If he was sorry, he wouldn’t have married OP’s Ex, he’d have cut her out of his life
I don't know if I'd be accepting any monetary help, or any help at all in any way, from the cousin.
That first story almost made me cry, I’m so glad they are together as a family
Very wholesome.
Indeed.
Cousin just wanted OP at the wedding to try and put on a show of “all is forgiven, let’s just forget about it”. Backfired worse than a rusted out, old jalopy.
Story 1: This is actually a really nice story. Very sad with what happened with the mother but i’m glad Op and his daughter have really started to form a nice bond.
Really hope this goes well for them
I've heard the second story before and I've wondered ever since then why the heck you'd ask him to be his Best Man. It's like he had unresolved guilt or something.
That last story: absolutely antisemitic and a nut job on top of that. Personally the "jewy" comment probably would have been enough to end the relationship because it's enough to tell you the person has a problem and that's not the kind of thing you want in a relationship.
Cousin wanted to put on a show for the family. Make it look like all is forgiven and they can all big a big happy family. Obviously, the cousin isn’t the best decision maker.
@@Hybrid301 Oh, I bet that was bride and groom assuming they could paper over the horrific thing they did to OP. See, all fine now!
@@Hybrid301 yea if being a homewrecker is his idea of a good decision, then he's probably not the brightest of the bunch
Was thinking this also. I guess Rslash didn't realize.
If you stole a close family members partner and haven't even talked to them in over 3 years, why on earth would you call up that person asking them to be the best man/MOH? Are you trying to dig the knife as far as you can? Like, good for the cousin, he paid for a small, minute amount of the damage he caused but seriously, the cousin is so fricking cruel and i kinda think he was *TRYING* to hurt OP as much as possible, only to play savior in the end
Edit: oh, then to give them the mic, expecting them to say how great the bride/groom are, saying nothing about how they really got together, the utter audacity
Yeah that was extra stupid. Cousin lit the fuse and was surprised the TNT went off. 😂
They were expecting “everybody else forgave us so now it’s this person’s time to forgive us so we can have OUR happiness.”
They were expecting conformity and acceptance.
or maybe the story was fake 😯
@@aerty4072or this universe is fake
@@aerty4072 All these stories could be fake. So what?
That Last story: Don’t worry Rslash no one understands the mind of someone who is racist let them be stupid and don’t question it your mental health will thank you for it in the long run
Gonna go on a limb, and guess the girl was pro-palestinian.
@@zella1840 as anyone with a heart should be
@@nachousoanyone with sense is pro neither.
Logic and antisemitism were never connected. Read about the Dreyfus affair if you want to know what kind of knuckleheads antisemites really are.
@@zella1840I am pro-palestinian but her pro-palestinian side was borderline antisemitic. Btw that airtag was wild.
So apparently it's ok for your cousin to ruin your relationship but it's not ok for you to return the favour and expose them, op I'm sorry your family is full of hypocrits
Some more context on the "next year in Jerusalem" part of the seder. It's more to do with Jewish apocalypticism and some metaphors than nationalism/zionism. The Jerusalem was supposed to be a kingdom of god on earth. Obviously that didn't happen. The more zionist version would be "l'shana h'ba'ah beyerushalayim *habenuya*", or "next year in jerusalem *rebuilt*. That version emphasizes that the jews are currently in jerusalem and they are waiting for the kingdom of god to be established. As if the process is already in motion. The original, milennia old "l'shana h'ba'ah beyerushalayim" is mostly religious and/or metaphorical.
I once participated in a seder. None of us were Jewish but all Christians. It was really solemn and a really great experience. Thr host really did her research on how a Seder is done. I'm sure we messed up something but it was really cool to see a side of Jewish culture most people don't see.
Thanks for the context!!
@eric98292 you need to experience it when lead by Jews much different vibe especially when in Hebrew. I have a Christian family due to a convert to our side of the fence, and they came almost every year to experience it.
@Snailman3516 It's all a part of the same song, these two lines. The rebuilding is about the temple.
Interesting
Honestly one of the most frustrating things about the last story is that now being Jewish isn't just a religion, but also an ethnicity. You wouldn't get mad at an atheist for celebrating Christmas and singing about Jesus in a predominantly Christian region. Not to mention the mess of it now sort of being a political state?
Ha, that hasn't changed. It always was an ethnicity and religion. This girl couldn't be more stereotypically racist, hating OP's blood AND religion. Pretty nasty to see how racists are birthed.
It has always been an ethnicity, and she is clearly a bigot, so at least he found that out before things got more serious.
Israelite propaganda has done a ton of damage to the overall perception of the Jewish religion, people are equating being Jewish to supporting Israel
Yeah she’s got the same mindset as those people who thought that every Muslim person was a terrorist after 9/11 happened
Edit to add that Judaism is technically an “ethno-religion” meaning that it is mostly associated with a specific ethnicity, but still technically a belief set.
And also that there is more than one type of belief set within the umbrella of Judaism. Some people (Orthodox Jews) are very strict about their beliefs, but most people are reform/generally believe, but are not nearly as consistent about their practice of the religion. And some Jews are atheist but still consider themselves Jewish (for a variety of reasons, but usually because their family is Jewish/that’s how they were raised).
You might if you lived in a non-Christian region, though.
It's wild to me that people can't separate Jewish ethnicity and culture from zionism. I don't know what the last OP's views are, but there are plenty of ethnic and even cultural jews that disagree with what is happening in Gaza. Her being bothered by him being connected to his culture and seemingly not wanting him to participate in his religion because she's seeing all jews under one blanket of the actions of extremists is, in fact, racist.
Considering people can't separate Arabic ethnicity and culture from ISIS either, it's not surprising to me at all. Racism lacks logic, after all, and ignorance is a problem worldwide.
God I'm scared to keep listening to this if that's where it's going.
Considering people can't separate arabic ethnicity and culture from the "Islamic State of Iraq and ash-Sham" either, it's not surprising to me at all. Racism lacks logic, after all, and ignorance is a problem worldwide.
Considering people can't separate "middle-eastern" ethnicity and culture from their own version of zionism-that-can't-be-typed in this comment section without getting deleted, it's not surprising to me at all. Racism lacks logic, after all, and ignorance is a problem worldwide.
Considering people also can't separate the extremist people behind the eleventh of september and the area of the globe they came from, it's not surprising to me at all. Racism lacks logic, after all, and ignorance is a problem worldwide.
GF: (uses word that is inappropriate/offensive)
OP: Hey just letting you know that word is inappropriate/offensive
GF: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME OUT FOR USING A WORD THAT INSULTS YOUR ENTIRE HERITAGE!? IT IS MY RIGHT TO EXPRESS MY BIGOTRY UNINTERRUPTED!!
Yeah that should have been it right there.
Last story - The war is really making people crazy racist in both directions. Let's be clear, guys. Being Jewish doesn't mean you support the genocide. Similarly, opposing the Israel government doesn't mean you have to be antisemitism.
Peace and love, y'all.
@@amemooress6291 what genocide? You mean the war?
I will say though the hypocrisy for not calling hamasa terrorist group when that's exactly what they are on the pro-palestinian supporters. It is beyond stupid. I can condemn Israel and the way that their government is behaving and understand the people of Israel are not responsible for that and I can understand that Hamas is a terrorist organization that needs to be wiped off the map. But that doesn't mean every Palestinian is Hamas. Mind you the last survey amnesty international did over 82% of them support Hamas. And this was pre-war.
I will also say to the undecided voters that are protesting the Democratic convention. It's very convenient that they didn't protest the Republican one and are talking about how they're not going to vote for Kamala and Tim It's beyond stupid. Because you have to think of the election like a runaway train. There's going to be a president of the United States in November irregardless of how much you protest, how much you have all your self-righteous speeches. You're not going to stop it. So we have to look who's on those tracks that that runaway train is on. Do you think Trump missed your all Muslims or terrorists the Muslim ban. Moving the kappa American embassy into the city of Jerusalem is going to support the people of Palestine. Come on guy. So either way there's going to be a government that's going to be willing to work with Israel. But on the Republican track, besides the people of Godzilla, there's every non-white Christian in America. Thanks to project 2025. There is abortion rights women's health NATO and most of us are too young to remember a world before NATO, but it wasn't good. As bad as it is now. It was worse before NATO. You have every environmental policy ever created to try to make the earth cleaner, the air cleaner and the water cleaner. You have the lgbtq plus community you have Ukraine. You have every immigrant in this country. On that trade track. So you can be stupid and make your stand and tell everybody in the world how much better you are than everyone. Cuz you didn't vote cuz you won't support genocide. But you are supreme Dennis eye. Because you think Trump's going to support Ukraine. You think they're going to support Palestine come on people stopping some stupid and self-righteous. So it's great in all to be like peace everybody but that's not the world we live in. We live in this s***** one and we have to wear learn to work inside this s***** one.
@@timon6759 the genocide israel has been committing for the past 76 years babe hope that helps
In fact, Israeli's are protesting against their own government
@timon6759 is not a war, but a genocide. If it was a war, both parties would've fought equally, but that's not the case. For 75 years, Israel suppressed and killed innocent for its bloodthirsty craziness, and it's using the Holocaust only to justify its actions today
I found out about my bio dad when I was 32. He died before he found out about me. I wish I had the balls like ops daughter and had talked to him.
Don't leave things unsaid, folks.
S2: Asking the cousin who's gf you cheated with and who's gf you're now marrying to be your best man is CRAAZY
Ruined wedding: B-b-b-but the heart wants what the heart wants, OP! Can’t you see that?!
Petition for wholesome stories video from Rslash
Second it for his sanity!
@@anapeglar4602
And ours!
I'm happy that everything worked out in story 1. But just because you wrap your tool doesn't mean 100% Protection.
In story 2 I don't think I was the only one who saw what was coming when op was invited to the wedding. What a speech. Though I didn't expect his cousin to help out with finding aid for op.
I don't really understand story 3. It's a bit confusing for me, but I do hope op is happy.
Those wraps can tear, especially if they don't fit properly. Even the trailer before the show can fertilise an egg.
That last story kind of makes me feel bad. He’s done nothing wrong, he’s exactly the same man he was before, but his girlfriend’s weird misconceptions about Jewish people and culture ruined a perfectly good relationship. I don’t think she’s trying to be antisemitic (but I could absolutely be wrong), I think she’s just stupid.
Wait till she hears about Metzitzah B'peh, a proud jewish tradition
@@GreenBeret1903I bet you’re just dying to have someone ask you what that is … it’s not even a common practice among us, only a few do it and most Jews do t even know what it is.
This is what is meant by Zionism hurts all people including Jewish people. Having Zionism use religious symbols, and centuries of struggle of Jewish folks to justify a genocide against Palestinians muddies the waters and allows for confusions like this to happen. I’m adamantly pro Palestine, and I didn’t know about that tradition (I’m not Jewish). If I was to be invited to it and I didn’t know I might also be uncomfortable at first. I see that girlfriend was wrong with tracking him and telling him that bad word. I see the gf was right until then.
@@songbird1329 How is he wrong? Explain whats so wrong about everything he said. Go ahead, we're waiting...
@@ramenbomberdeluxe4958look! We found another racist! (You)
Omg 6:26 if it’s Huntington’s Disease, his daughter has a 50% chance of having it too
that last story is wild, lol. why is this woman so weird about a harmless tradition? definitely good choice to block her
She is weird because she is racist who is repulsed by his blood and religion... like racists are.
If the antisemitism wasn’t enough then the AirTag settled it lol
Story 1: I'm glad this had a happy ending, because stories like these could've ended badly. I hope Jane lives a happy life with her family
Specially with the her aunt's side. It also depends on how Jane's mother portraited OP, it obviously wasnt in bad light and she obviously put his name and phone number in a place that she knew Jane would find some day and let her choose whether she wanted to contact him or not. There was no calm way she could put it to OP either, I mean, just how do you say to someone "I think you are my father, did you know such and such back in XYZ year?"
Story 2: time to go NC with the mother too. She either is a cheater as well, treats the cousin as the golden child, or both.
LAST STORY: These kinds of people need to realize that being jewish is not the same as being zionist. Also that bit with the air tag was insane
That justifies racism? You sound like my dead racist grandparents who would rank ethnicities. Gross dude.
@@dudeorduuude5211nobody is justifying racism here
With respect to the last story, before the update, I kept thinking, I sure hope it isn't what I was thinking it was and lo and behold, IT ABSOLUTELY WAS. OP did the right thing in dumping her. I'm Jewish and my wife is Catholic and even she is suprised how often this difference in religious background comes up. Luckily, I married a Saint!!!
A saint? Is she beatified and canonized? (Joking)
More people need to realise that Israel isn't "all Jews." Yikes with that last story.
Exactly it’s a mix of Christian, Muslim, and Jewish faiths and I agree with yikes too
Tell that to Israel!
4:08 please read the parentheses for things like this! I was genuinely concerned cause I listened while driving. I only saw the unspoken part cause I went back to comment with a timestamp after I stopped driving.
Good luck to those who use the podcast version frfr
Im glad first story had a happy ending. He went from not wanting to have kids to wholeheartedly embracing the kid he didn’t even know existed
1st story: Doesn't sound like he's fully invested in his daughter yet, but he is absolutely being there for her when she needs him. Way to go, Dad.
2nd story: OP's mom probably insisted on the cousin coming to every birthday party growing up, and the cousin would leave with OP's favorite gift every time. Taking away his girlfriend is just an extension of that. You also know he only keeps that toy until it breaks, and he's done with it.
3rd story: What an astounding level of stupid.
At first, I was like, "Who the hell has the same number for 18 years?" And then I was like, "Oh, lol, my dad." Don't worry it's not op.
I've had the same number since 2007. It's not _that_ unusual.
And have had the same number since about late 1994 or early 1995. I have only ever had one number. I have a data simcard that obviously has a number, but I never remember it, and nobody has it either.
This is great! I never knew so many people were this reliable lol good on you guys 💜
I've had the same number since I got my first phone, so about 20 years now.
@zzzzzzzzz2278 Look it took me almost 5 years to learn this number off by heart. I am simply to lazy to learn a new one. Lol.
This is like the 4th story I’ve heard about OP figuring out they had a daughter hidden from them
Sometimes it’s not “hidden” so much as “don’t want to bother him, he didn’t ask for this.” Or sometimes “he’d be so mad!” Or “I’m so ashamed of myself and this is my fault.” And sometimes it’s “my body, my kid.”
Hiding DEFINITELY happens, I’ve seen that, too. But it’s not *always* that.
@kyrw10 Same shit, different reasons why
Final story:
Context, I’m a Palestinian-American who was effected by the 1993 and 2001 WTC attacks (see rising anti-Arab violence, that one call to create an interment camp for everyone with Arab and/or Muslim descent) and learned more racial slurs and treated the worst as a child than as an adult. Why would this matter? Anyone who is never aware or grew up around with the Abrahamic Religions and the cultures that grew from it, would jump straight to the current year conflict.
What I’m trying to get at, OP is NTA, isn’t crazy, isn’t overreacting etc. She is like the reverse Trisha Paytas. The ex is weird and that air tag would (in my opinion) boarder on mental instability at least and criminal action at worse.
Aww the first story is so wholesome and cute I wish Op and his daughter's bonds strengthen as the years goes on~😊
Story 3: I think my brain f***ing exploded then WHY IS SHE DATING SOMEONE WHO IS JEWISH???????????????????
Instead of the gf being interested in Seder and what it historically entails she says he’s “ too Jewy “ and uses a tracker .. to find out he’s going to temple?? Thank goodness he left…
But she "had no problem" with him being Jewish -- no, not at all! Good riddance.
#1: That was a wholesome story, though a bit somber indeed with regards to the mother. The only thing that stands out is...how the hell do you not remember whether you used protection or not??? 😂
Also, I don't know why, but my mind kept wandering to Quagmire from Family Guy when he met his daughter... 🤣
Story #2: Invite your cousin, who's girlfriend you banged in his bed, they said...
Ask him to be your best man, they said...
But seriously, how the heck did you think that was going to end??
Good on OP for that speech, that took serious balls! I'm glad he's doing better and hopefully not wanting to self-snub anymore.
Story #3: So she had no issue with dating a Jewish guy until the war? And even then, it took a little bit of getting familiarized with the culture to turn her? That just makes no sense...
But hey, OP, bullet dodged at least...
I can't believe that the cheaters would even invite their victim to the wedding, let alone as the best man. Best of luck staying no contact with your family.
For Story 2 it's simple: what OP did was NOT CORRECT...HOWEVER... it was JUSTIFIED. That's it, plain as day. Correct and justified are very different. You can be a A-hole but a justified A-hole. People will get mad obviously but also they brought it on themselves.
It may have been wrong, but the wrongness was next to nothing compared to cheating and then inviting the victim of cheating to participate in the wedding.
Story 1 : Tell them the truth op..
Update : Thats a good start...
Update 2 : Thats fantastic that it went better then expected.. stinks what happened to jane mom ...
Story 2 : Op is cold and honestly i love it...his response is the best non-violent response..
Update: If i was op i would still stay away from the egg donor who would rather stand on " how things look" then have her own sons back against entitled cheaters... To hell with them all...
Story 3 : Ahhhh ok something is off with lilly...
Update: Yeah something is definitely off with lilly .. called antisemitic..
Story 2:Yo cheaters,Here's 3 easy steps to get your partners back and undo your actions
Step 1:Lay on your bed.
Step 2:Close your eyes.
Step 3:Keep dreaming,You filthy bastards.
Do you keep this on your phone's clipboard? I've seen you post this whenever there's an infidelity story.
NOT HIM BRINGING A GRANDMAS SWEATER :o that is too stinking cute !! Story 1 is incredibly wholesome
Cheating a father out of the choice to see his child grow up is one of the most disgusting things you can do. It's right up there with falsely accusing someone of a crime. It alters not only their life but the child and everyone around them. Don't be selfish. Give him the choice.
I agree, however considering the mother was mentally unwell and it was a one night stand perhaps it wasn't a choice fully thought through
8:38 A new rule: (1st one is not to mess with IT guy)
2nd rule: may be it is not a good move to make the one who you cheated to your best man or bridesmaid...
Story 3: Antisemitism has always confused me, but I don’t understand at all what her thought process could even be when she hid an AirTag in OP’s car to see if he was going to a temple! Like, if she had follow up questions (like “so do you regularly attend temple?”) then it sounded like OP would’ve been fine answering it?? What even was the purpose of hiding an AirTag??
The last story......
People just like hating other people. For no real reason.
We're a tribal species and that tribalism can manifest even today for the most illogical of reasons.
Honestly? As a person who doesnt want or like kids, finding out you have one thats already 18 sounds like a accidental pregnancy best case scenario! The kid is already an adult so all of the "i don't like kids" reasons have been circumvented, and now you get to bond with a cool person and get to know them free from parental expectations!
As for story two, just remember: If they'll cheat WITH you, they'll cheat ON you
6:50 this is just a reddit story that was copied and had the genders swapped. The text is all the same, not just similar
It seems very fake. It requires the bride, groom, their family to be real dumb and the guy has no brothers or best friend that he reaches to his scorn cousin.
The last story... Wtf is wrong with that girl? So she denies being antisemetic, but instantly think that OP being a jew and having ancient traditions, means those are somehow connected to the Gaza war... And then tracks him if he goes to a temple???
Why does she care? I thought she didn't care about him being jewish, but then she needs to TRACK him if he acts out his religion, after she said that she needs time???
I am sooo lost on the crazyness of that girl.
She is racist. Not sure why you are lost about that. She hates someone's blood and religion. That is the definition of racism.
genocide**
The first story had me kinda choked up because I was that child. My biological father knew about me as a baby, but he died soon after I was born in a motorcycle accident. What I've learned about him is only through my cousin, who has a family tree and family photo album he researches as a hobby. I'm very grateful for him.
Story 2: Before I got too far into the story: having your cousin as best man is generally an OK idea. Best man is supposed to be your closest friend. It is suggested that you should know your best man/maid of honor/matron of honor before dating indicating that you have an excellent friend to ground you in what is sure to be an emotional time and to have that same grounding while married. OP is not the best man material after what his cousin pulled. That was unwise from the word "go."
For the last story, ever since the conflict has gotten more widespread coverage, people are conflating Judaism with the actions of the Israeli state, so I understand why she feels that way. It still doesn't make it okay to make that assumption or pull weird shit like putting a tracker on OP.
Final story: you pronounced seder as ceder, and not as it should be pronounced, s-AY-der
Reddit ruined me. Im so pessimistic now in that first post i kept waiting for "and now me and my daughter are engaged or some fucked up shit like that.
As a jew I cringed a bit at how rslash pronounced seder lol
As a native German speaker I cringe when English speaker try to pronounce German words
But then again that would probably do that too because of my "th" pronunciation 😂
You just know how it's pronounced and if you hear it mispronounced it just sounds weird 😅
Rslash, not the sexual innuendo thumbnail about a wholesome father daughter reunion story 😭
For story one I immediately thought it was a scam. Not in the same way but someone I know (kind of) got stolen from by dropping names. They went into one of the bars from the company my mom used to work at and dropped the name of some high executive saying so and so told him to ask the barista for 500 euros and she'll do. She gave him the money as there was a slim chance he actually knew the guy and wasn't bluffing. Then she called my mom panicking about the stolen money, and learnt to call the people in charge first to verify. But the more the story progressed here it seems very plausible.
Story 2: How did the cheaters not see this coming? How did they think asking OP to be best man was a good idea?
I've heard the wedding story B4 on a couple channels. No one has read the speech on those channels. Thanks Rslash.
Story 1: FUCK, THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST WHOLESOME STORIES I'VE EVER HAD LISTEN! LOVED IT!!!!
Glad the ruined wedding one got an update. I've heard about that story about that guy ruining his EX and Cousins wedding (seriously... you decided to invite the EX of the one you cheated with... and it back fired on you, what a DUMBASS) but it's nice to know he's okay... but hearing he had been planning on... ending it... that hurt to hear.
I think bestof may be my 3rd favorite reddit stories behind amIthedevil and prorevenge. I think its because i like the closure it gives on some stories.
That first story was absolutely adorable oh my god. OP did a full 180 about everything
Story 3: Ok while I like that OP's girlfriend supports Palestine (As do I), she clearly doesn't understand that just because someone is Jewish, doesn't mean they support genocide.
Jup, my BIL speaks Russian and had to deal with people cussing him out because they though he is from Russia and supports their war against Ukraine.
He is Ukrainian....
@@kurtwagner4663 2020's Red Scare at play, people.
Story3: so what if he went to temple? what is the phrase i keep hearing, you can criticize the state of Israel without it being a critique of the religion/culture? and that's 100% true. Many Israeli nationals despise the actions of their country. Maybe not a majority, but the point is that there is a distinction, even in that country, let alone elsewhere. How wild.
Just another example of terminally online brain rot
2nd: OP is lucky to had dodge that nuclear warhead of a 'girlfriend'. With that said: How stupid, entitled and straight up cruel, to, not only invite the person you cheated on, but make your best man of your wedding.
That speech of OP very surely shock everyone. Damm, bro went back and double scorch earth on those pos.
Lastly, I was expecting some people to disagree with OP, but his OWN MOTHER?, damm.
I get where the therapist is coming from when they say "help learn that rejection is a normal part of life", but somehow I dont think that statement really applies to walking in on your girlfriend cheating on you with your cousin. Maybe that's just me tho
Story 1: I find it hilarious that there was a 9 month wait in the update from the OP
The depressive guy who vows never to move on from being cheated on should have just rejected their invitation to their wedding.
I would have sympathized with him feeling a need to vent to family and friends about the unpleasant history that made him not want to attend.
But maliciously going that far out of his way to infiltrate and ruin the wedding years later, especially after their best attempts to apologize and offer him a place of honor in their ceremony.... just leaves him looking like a mean looser to exploit their effort to make amends.
Loosing a girlfriend to another guy who she chooses to marry is rough. It did not "ruin his life."
That unforgiving spiteful attitude will though.
EDIT: makes sense that this was from someone on the verge of self terminating.
Clearly not the way a mentally healthy person should cope.
I'm just completely baffled by OP even being invited to the wedding. But he gave a speech?!
Story 1: I’m more impressed that OP had the same phone number for eighteen years.
Story 3: Poor OP. I hope he finds a new gf who is not actually a weird paranoid racist jerk.
Story 2: I am actually pleasantly surprised that the cousin was one of the people offering to pay for OP to get therapy. He still shouldn't have had an affair with OP's gf, but at least he wanted to help OP deal with the aftermath once he understood that he deeply harmed OP, which is a lot more than I was expecting out of him.
Story 1: This story wound up being really sweet. I feel bad for the mom, but I'm so glad Jane and OP can be in each other's lives now.
Also, "Mom and sister still went a bit apesh*t, but dad knocked them out with a large club he always carry with him (to the nutcases, no that last bit didn't actually happen)."
RSlash: *doesn't say the bit that it didn't actually happen*
Me: oh no lol
Story 2: I was so glad OP included the speech he wrote, the level of personal slites that he put on paper was absolutely Shakespearian
Last story im not sure if OP had the full picture here. Because that sounds not antisemetic at all. That sounds like someone who has a problem with very religious people. And there might be reasons for that. Growing up with people like that or having an Ex Partner who was really religious or had a really religious family might make you paranoid about something like that. She only started doing that after getting lectured by your father on some Jewish traditions. Why not just invite her to dinner first without doing a specific religious tradition. I know a lot of Jewish people see it more as a cultural thing (but its nearly impossible to seperate that with religions that you have to be born into). But for everryone else who is not into religion its more or less the same as getting dragged to the next church to meet the catholic parents of your partner. Wich would be super strange. Still putting the Air Tag on OP is going to far. But i think OP is the one who started this mess. His GF just overreacted with the airtag. Also the word "Jewy" gets used by Jews as well and can have a positive or negative meaning ("There are two distinct senses of ‘Jewy.’ The first can sometimes be disparaging, since it refers to stereotypical behaviors or qualities. The second suggests someone or something that is the opposite of assimilated, and can be either positive or negative, depending on the user." Jewish English Lexicon) so she also gets a pass on that. Or "I come from a long line of Jewy-looking Jews. My dad was twice-named Schnoz Magazine’s ‘Man of the Year.’” - Scott Rogowsky. Also saying the phrase "Next year in Jerusalem" was a big f you to all muslim people for the last 70 years but right now it sounds more like making fun of killing more than 10.000 children. So when it comes to being offensive maybe OP should not throw stones while sitting in a glass house.
Last story took turn for the weirder with the airtag. That's beyond messed up
Last story: my partner/mother of my child is Jewish. She's not go to temple all the time type of Jewish woman. Her family wasn't too strict on her Jewish upbringing, although they did celebrate Jewish holidays and read from the tora. I am not Jewish. I'm a white dude from Texas. I personally think it's hilarious that my life partner as well as my daughter are Jewish. I love it. I've learned about Jewish heritage and I do encourage my daughter to embrace that part of her heritage. Weird that someone would be creeped out or turned off about someone being Jewish
I met my birth father for the first time around COVID. I can tell you one of the exact days I was visiting him because while we were listening to the radio and playing cards, the January 6th riot was ongoing. He was kind, but his family comes from wealth and has a massive support net. I don't. I've always lived in poverty from paycheck-to-paycheck, never developed the sort of familial bonds other people do, and have recently been diagnosed with AuDHD as an adult woman. I enjoyed meeting him and being with him, but I was so ashamed of our difference in social class and how quickly he wanted to bond that I've avoided him since. I keep telling myself I'll get in touch again when I'm able to stand on my own financially. I'd hate to become that unknown relative that comes around asking for money.
Theres a lot of people out there who claim not to be prejudiced as long as you don't "put it in their face." Inviting GF to a Seder put OPs jewishness right in her face and her antisemitis came out. good thing OP found out about his GF before things went further
rSlash - it's pronounced "say-dh" not "seeder"
The fact that OP didn't even _think_ she might be antisemitic proves he's either a better or more naive man than me because that was my first thought.
Last story is strange. As an atheist myself I know how it feels to be weirded out by super religious people. Granted I have no problem with religious people at all, really just fundamentalists, fanatics and extremists. No lie, I get weirded out every time my religious family does a pre thanksgiving prayer or something like that, but I grit my teeth and bear with it. When I'm dating I set the tone clear about that. If she was super anti-religious, she should have really said something. Also taking her to a seder when she is meeting your family for the first time is absolutely overwhelming.. but she's also a psycho.
The girlfriend in the last story just sounds woefully ignorant.
She has only a very surface understanding of both current issues and Judaism.
Well that's how you breed racism.
She was raised this way, ignorance like this doesn't appear naturally.
What's bonkers is that "next year in revived Jerusalem" is just part of the prayer. It has nothing to do with zionism. Even Israelis and even Israelis who literally LIVE IN Jerusalem say it.
Seder is pronounced "SAY-dur" 😊
The kid thing happened to a guy at work. He’s like 50 and last year some girl in her 20s got ahold of him and it did end up being his daughter. Always fearful of this happening to me, i got snipped before i had a kid just to make sure i never have any.
That wedding speech…perfection!
3:23 lol OP is getting the easiest part of the job!
Story 2: Amazing. They ruined Ops life for 3 years up until now, but the moment Op ruined their lives for just a day suddenly Ops the bad guy.
Ehh, OP is just petty. Just let it go atp.
I love listening to so much r/slash that you can hear when a story repeats! Maybe the second one has been read before
Story 2: You know, while I can sympathize with OP cause he is the victim, and believe me, the petty side of me would also pull this stunt if the hurt really is that bad. However, I have to disagree with what OP did, cause while that speech is cathartic, I really don't like facing the flying monkeys sent to brigade cause someone's "little feelings" got hurt, as if OP's weren't either.
Look, I am not saying I do not care about OP's feelings, but outright rejecting the cousin's demand and standing his ground would have been better in the long run. I have a hunch the reason the cousin even made the boneheaded decision to make OP the best man is cause he needs OP to be around to validate his relationship, the exact one that drove a proverbial dagger through OP's heart. The crap show may be fun to witness, and I know it's very hard to be the bigger man, but had OP just adamantly refused the cousin's offer at all, that would have been the bigger and long term victory, cause the lack of validation from the victim will get to the cousin's head. Plus, I also think OP should have just told the reason why when asked, and if people can't accept it, F them.
My mother recently found her father. My mother asked me and my siblings to get an ancestry test all of us not knowing you could find family members though it. After she took it she found her father and messaged him. To say he was shocked is an understatement he’s an old man but from what I’ve been told he said “I believe it” to him having a daughter the moment he learned about it he flew to us to meet his new family members! He’s been really kind my mom and him have really started to bound. He actually called me for my birthday to wish me a happy birthday which was really odd for me cause I’ve never had a grandpa do that for me.
On the 2nd story: While vengeance can feel good at the moment (venting about how his cousin stole his girlfriend and is now marrying her - at the wedding), it is at best a coping strategy (but not necessarily a good one. Life is filled with coping strategies, but many of them are ultimately self-destructive. (Drinking and drugs can be used to cope with past traumas, but in the end they destroy your body and your life, while the trauma lies unresolved in the background the whole time). Vengeance is the same way. It can feel good at the moment to nuke someone’s wedding, if they can truly wronged you (and they had), but it can set you up for a lifetime of similarly vengeful behavior that leaves a trail of destroyed people (rightly or wrongly) behind you. In this case, it could also affect your relationship with other family members who disagreed with the way you handled it. It might not be that they disagree that you have been wronged, but with the way you dealt with it. I think this is one reason why forgiveness is so important in the Bible (which is not passively saying, “It’s OK” like Eeyore, but is a letting go of wrongs done against you so that they don’t eat at you).
You have a surprise daughter? That's wonderful! I hope you and she build a close bond, every girl needs a Dad.
I am _so_ envious of Jane. My dad took off when he found out my mom was pregnant. They were just kids, so I don't really blame him, but when I was 15 my mom helped me find him through Yahoo lol. We made contact, but he stayed incredibly distant for 10 years, and I didn't want to push myself on him. He contacted me a bit more in my 20s, but neither of us could afford the trip to where the other lived, and he passed away suddenly before we ever got the chance to meet. I still regret not reaching out to him more.
Man a betrayal like that is life altering and thinking everything will be fine ok I’m not surprised that the op did what he did i remember this in R/AITA