True Facts: Macaques

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  • Опубликовано: 11 янв 2025

Комментарии • 4,7 тыс.

  • @catterbitd
    @catterbitd 4 года назад +11807

    "It's too long be be mahcock" probably one of the funniest jokes I've heard on this channel

    • @aiiv7839
      @aiiv7839 4 года назад +150

      I always pronounce it like that. I don't even know if it's correct.

    • @bbrokenronin1939
      @bbrokenronin1939 4 года назад +257

      Subtle... Yet not so bold.

    • @DemBigOlEyes
      @DemBigOlEyes 4 года назад +62

      Woah, let's back up a bit.

    • @jakedowney270
      @jakedowney270 4 года назад +136

      It took me like 10 seconds after to get the joke

    • @1216jimmyz
      @1216jimmyz 4 года назад +221

      Easy guys, it's a dick joke...don't take it so hard....

  • @sagewilson5359
    @sagewilson5359 4 года назад +3075

    “Warming up his noodle and she says ill take it al dente.” Clever asf

    • @anthonysmith1228
      @anthonysmith1228 4 года назад +27

      What does al dente mean?

    • @austinm.9832
      @austinm.9832 4 года назад +171

      @@anthonysmith1228 semi-firm.

    • @MondeSerenaWilliams
      @MondeSerenaWilliams 4 года назад +43

      @@anthonysmith1228 toothsome

    • @snowjewel3982
      @snowjewel3982 4 года назад +95

      Anthony Smith al den·te
      /äl ˈdentā,al/
      adjective
      (of food, typically pasta) cooked so as to be still firm when bitten.
      "the eggs created a rich coating for the al dente spaghetti"
      adverb
      so as to be still firm when bitten.
      "I had the linguine and calamari served al dente in a nice red sauce"

    • @Nightsky071
      @Nightsky071 4 года назад +29

      I laughed really hard at that part.

  • @ashlloy0803
    @ashlloy0803 4 года назад +3245

    "Remember how your father went pit to get cigarettes and never came back" "yeah" "well go get cigarettes" sounds like it could be a super evil sick burn

    • @evancook9739
      @evancook9739 4 года назад +39

      Super evil cigarette burn

    • @Amateur0Visionary
      @Amateur0Visionary 4 года назад +25

      What do you mean "could be"? What else could it be, a compliment?

    • @Kyozou10no
      @Kyozou10no 4 года назад +38

      @darbukaman That pubescent 'yeah' is what got me

    • @khalguvayal3210
      @khalguvayal3210 4 года назад +2

      Evan Cook l

    • @Paul-ou1rx
      @Paul-ou1rx 4 года назад +5

      And that's pretty much how my high school graduation party went.

  • @icetheirken
    @icetheirken 4 года назад +698

    "No; it's too long to be mahcock."
    "Jerry don't do that. Leave Macaca where it was; don't play with it."

  • @vetda
    @vetda 4 года назад +3344

    "Get these guys a deep fryer" "Sure, a few may fall in, but that's how I learned to swim"

    • @brianschlicher59
      @brianschlicher59 4 года назад +83

      They're 2/3rds of the way to French fries. Lol
      Great line.

    • @KaladinVegapunk
      @KaladinVegapunk 4 года назад +23

      I haven't finished the video yet.. but I really hope he mentions that they dip their sweet potatoes in the ocean to salt them hahaha (edit okay he did haha, explains the deep fryer comments)
      It's a huge thing in anthropology
      The hot springs is really fucking cool though, that had to be included
      Also, there's some really cool research with the tool use, since it's a learned and taught behavior, but they don't develop past that into more complex usage in centuries, it's building blocks of culture definitely, but they don't really rapidly develop like human society did in the 12,000 years since agriculture and society formed
      If that group died out then the knowledge would be lost

    • @myrkhosh
      @myrkhosh 4 года назад +4

      Yes, that's what he said.

    • @charles8589
      @charles8589 4 года назад +7

      Saw your comment at the beginning of the video and figured, that will make sense in context, and... it did? This guy makes such hilarious videos

    • @mrmckenzie0
      @mrmckenzie0 4 года назад +11

      We already built them a damn hot spring, tell them to use that to cook them.

  • @waterunderthebridge7950
    @waterunderthebridge7950 4 года назад +3169

    I like how we named what’s basically the Macaque Einstein after potatoes

    • @thelastgreyhawk2161
      @thelastgreyhawk2161 4 года назад +75

      We've done that to other humans too such as the people on the island of north sentinel. They have no clue about the world to them it's just a tiny island

    • @jaschabull2365
      @jaschabull2365 4 года назад +262

      I bet whatever extraterrestrial society is observing us for research nicknamed Isaac Newton "Apple".

    • @nikkovalidor4890
      @nikkovalidor4890 4 года назад +79

      the roman emperor caligula who killed so many people under his rule, was nicknamed after "small boots"

    • @Thor-Orion
      @Thor-Orion 3 года назад +33

      @@nikkovalidor4890 little boots. But that’s because his dad dressed him up in a military uniform even as a child.

    • @Pillar_of_Salt
      @Pillar_of_Salt 3 года назад +11

      @Atman Gotango They always looked like weird bdsm shoes to me

  • @vintagethrifter2114
    @vintagethrifter2114 4 года назад +1719

    In 1972, over 100 Snow Monkeys were brought to a sanctuary in Texas. Somehow they adapted to the new environment and survived. Today there are over 600. One of the things that they came up with was an entirely new warning sound/cry for rattlesnake.

    • @justasmltwngir1732
      @justasmltwngir1732 3 года назад +96

      That’s neat

    • @stevesmith9617
      @stevesmith9617 2 года назад +67

      Damn it texas

    • @dexter_yours_truly
      @dexter_yours_truly 2 года назад +148

      "Theres a snake in muh boot"
      "Sharon, get me my gun"

    • @TMS-pj7fp
      @TMS-pj7fp 2 года назад +44

      Same happened in FL, not Snow macaques, but they formed troops and are deep in numbers now.

    • @estergrant6713
      @estergrant6713 2 года назад +126

      i too live in texas and have a warning cry for rattlesnake. it goes something like this “OH SHIT!” then a slow but panicky backwards walk

  • @SetzerII
    @SetzerII 3 года назад +1431

    After all the stuff Potato discovered, I'm slightly surprised it didn't notice "If you leave a few grains in the dirt, it makes more grains" and invent macaque agriculture.

    • @TheDonutMan3000
      @TheDonutMan3000 3 года назад +250

      That would’ve been low-key terrifying

    • @ahn0x
      @ahn0x 3 года назад +200

      @@TheDonutMan3000 apes together strong

    • @TheDonutMan3000
      @TheDonutMan3000 3 года назад +39

      @@ahn0x Dawn of the beginning of the rise for the war of the rule of the planet of the apes

    • @sohamchousalkar5126
      @sohamchousalkar5126 3 года назад +16

      @@TheDonutMan3000 behold, the rap song, 'of tha'. haha!

    • @Aaron-zu3xn
      @Aaron-zu3xn 3 года назад +183

      they don't need agriculture they've tricked humans into delivering food,grain won't grow in salt water btw that's why they didn't grow it

  • @thethoughtemporium
    @thethoughtemporium 4 года назад +5354

    "Marriage? But papa would never allow it. Elope? But what about the zombies?" That, was the moment I lost it. I think that was the funniest line since "give me a kernel of corn and lets play butt hole pachinko". I fuckin love these and have for years. I'm so glad you're making them again.

  • @cosmicdunsparce
    @cosmicdunsparce 4 года назад +2857

    Is Jerry okay? He's making a lot of errors here

    • @dark_neverland
      @dark_neverland 4 года назад +156

      Quarantine is getting to us all?

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 4 года назад +150

      I guess he's _that_ confident zeFrank won't fire him for it.

    • @spencereades
      @spencereades 4 года назад +47

      I... think he's the intern?

    • @alexiswilliamsinc
      @alexiswilliamsinc 4 года назад +125

      He was distracted by the swelling.

    • @M3T2W01f
      @M3T2W01f 4 года назад +80

      Jerry doesn't give a f*** anymore, like the Koala in the rain.

  • @nathanakbar542
    @nathanakbar542 4 года назад +3666

    I forgot about this channel and searched “sarcastic animal commentator” and found the channel i wanted

    • @starseed96
      @starseed96 4 года назад +21

      Here's another: ruclips.net/video/6vYcAgsrvxI/видео.html

    • @airotiv7916
      @airotiv7916 4 года назад +9

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @cups9449
      @cups9449 4 года назад +32

      Haha, me too! I searched satire animal documentary

    • @bandtenpizzahut
      @bandtenpizzahut 4 года назад +4

      @@cups9449 do i spot a fellow o'rangers fan? OOOOOOOOO

    • @cups9449
      @cups9449 4 года назад +4

      @@bandtenpizzahut Yessir! We did fantastic this year. Little annoyed towards the end, but it was a great season.

  • @rizqiramadhan546
    @rizqiramadhan546 4 года назад +1536

    Is this the Artic Monkeys everyone's been talking about

  • @DawnfireGalinndan
    @DawnfireGalinndan 4 года назад +1655

    Okay but using salt-water to season your potatoes is kinda cool.

    • @FnD4212
      @FnD4212 4 года назад +93

      And sweet potato no less. I sprinkles my sweet potato with salt its quite enticing to me.

    • @corinnZV
      @corinnZV 4 года назад +32

      They're Gaining sentience little bits at a time.

    • @darthbane2669
      @darthbane2669 4 года назад +8

      @@corinnZV Evolution isn't real dude they will never somehow be like us the world will have long since been ashes.

    • @arielbarrios3843
      @arielbarrios3843 4 года назад +108

      @@darthbane2669 you never evolved, huh? That's rough buddy

    • @Amigo21189
      @Amigo21189 4 года назад +89

      @@corinnZV They already have sentience (the ability to have feelings and personal experiences), what they're developing is sapience (the ability to think about what it's going to be like next time that thing that happened before happens).

  • @albertamalachi3560
    @albertamalachi3560 4 года назад +4839

    Imo: _washes potatoes, creates condiments_
    Researchers: "Interesting."
    Imo: _uses water as a sieve and cleaning agent_
    Researcher: "Innovative."
    Imo: _creates stone tools_
    Researchers: "Wait. Hold up."
    Imo: _creates fire_
    Researchers: "Uhm..."
    Imo: _creates language, social stratification, and Macaque mythos_
    Researchers: "Uh oh! What do we do? Oh! Let's give them a hot tub in winter!"
    Imo: _chills in hot tub, stops inventing_
    Researchers: "Phew! That was close."
    Imo: _learns about thermodynamics, nuclear fusion, and dimensional probabilities while in the tub_
    Researchers: "Oh no!"

    • @TheRedGameboy
      @TheRedGameboy 4 года назад +405

      MACAQUES TOGETHER STRONG

    • @Kenabukanyo
      @Kenabukanyo 4 года назад +132

      Ah , the circle of life ... But this time , with furry people .

    • @LoS_Lust4Blood
      @LoS_Lust4Blood 4 года назад +96

      Peter 24 “furry people”? Italians?

    • @evansageser6943
      @evansageser6943 4 года назад +178

      And now you've stumbled upon the real cause of her death. Some men will be along shortly to tie up this loose end.

    • @Dimaz42
      @Dimaz42 4 года назад +82

      Imo starts a revolution against hoomans and turn the Earth into _Planet of the Macaques_

  • @micah1802
    @micah1802 4 года назад +571

    "Its too long to be macaque"
    That is a most brilliant subtle joke ive ever heard

  • @icebrg.
    @icebrg. 4 года назад +449

    “Meanwhile this one is warming up his noodle on the hot pipe, then she comes along and says ‘I’ll take it al-dente.”
    I’ll never see a spaghetti noodle the same way ever again.

  • @Antonyeratt
    @Antonyeratt 4 года назад +305

    "Charlie, remember how I told you your father went to get some cigarettes and never came back? Well, I'd like you to get some cigarettes now". 🤣🤣
    I died.

  • @lenap4956
    @lenap4956 4 года назад +524

    "I'd like you to get some cigerette now"
    Lmao

  • @VocalEdgeTV
    @VocalEdgeTV 4 года назад +140

    “Pride and prejudice and zombies “reference… How is he so brilliant. Even his sponsorship placement was so good I didn’t zip through it.

  • @ayakoholic
    @ayakoholic 4 года назад +439

    I was fortunate enough to vacation in Japan a few years ago, and up by Chuzenji Lake there were a lot of signs warning about aggressive macaques. Apparently they'd learned that people carried food in white plastic bags and occasionally attacked people carrying them. The sign concluded with the polite but rather ominous line in English, "Some troubles occurred in this area."

    • @chee.rah.monurB
      @chee.rah.monurB 2 года назад +1

      What an inpersonal way to tell tourists that a fuccker was murderrd here.

    • @Muenni
      @Muenni 2 года назад +25

      Heard they had the same sign in Northern Ireland!

    • @daviddavidson2357
      @daviddavidson2357 2 года назад +18

      @@Muenni We blew the sign up

    • @nono-fb8tr
      @nono-fb8tr 2 года назад +5

      My dad had monkeys take his plastic bag lunch in Singapore lol

    • @svampebob007
      @svampebob007 2 года назад +3

      "Some troubles occurred in this area"
      Eminem - 8Miles lyrics by ayakoholic

  • @WillShakes423
    @WillShakes423 4 года назад +554

    "We'll take a test. See if you can spot someone that's ready to mate. Alright, do you need more time? It's tricky, right? Because that could be a nose."
    Zefrank, you just keep getting better and better.

    • @midwest4416
      @midwest4416 4 года назад +4

      Almost spit out what I was eating right there. Love Zefrank

    • @williamresham703
      @williamresham703 4 года назад +2

      yes; brilliant line and editing video.

  • @ismnotwasm1420
    @ismnotwasm1420 4 года назад +1135

    “perineum, the science word for taint” I’m gonna use this line somehow, someway, someday

  • @Turn.Colors
    @Turn.Colors 4 года назад +56

    "Look up a picture of a dictionary inside of a moron and you'll find me." That is the most elegantly brutal burn I have ever received and it wasn't even meant for me. Well done.

  • @dandazed5846
    @dandazed5846 4 года назад +277

    10 seconds in and we already have a shlong joke. Magnificent, Mr. Frank.

    • @veralenora7368
      @veralenora7368 4 года назад +3

      Do his friends call him "ze"?

    • @WhyName
      @WhyName 4 года назад +1

      Fuck I didn't even catch that one.

    • @PedroPetracco
      @PedroPetracco 4 года назад +1

      s h l o n g

    • @jimclark5892
      @jimclark5892 4 года назад +2

      It might be a shlort reference because he said, ‘it’s too long to be ma cock.’

  • @daemonofdecay
    @daemonofdecay 4 года назад +725

    “Jerry, how do you say this one? You think it’s mahcawk? No, it’s too long to be mahcawk.”

    • @dukex123
      @dukex123 4 года назад +47

      Fuck, I didn't even get that! Shame on me and mahcawk!

    • @CSkwirl
      @CSkwirl 4 года назад +5

      My cork? No it's too long...that's what she said 😅

    • @davidpeabody3429
      @davidpeabody3429 4 года назад

      I got that too just didnt see this comment before posting my own.. i feel big brain lol

    • @lairdcummings9092
      @lairdcummings9092 4 года назад +11

      I sprayed soda when he said that.
      Missed my monitor, but my desktop needs a wipedown.

    • @davidpeabody3429
      @davidpeabody3429 4 года назад +2

      @@lairdcummings9092 lucky for me i had just finished my drink lol

  • @KarnivorousKeyz
    @KarnivorousKeyz 4 года назад +654

    Alternate title: Zefrank admires butts for 10 minutes

    • @dark_neverland
      @dark_neverland 4 года назад +12

      He has a thing for animal butts? Have you seen the Oppih video

    • @jonplaud
      @jonplaud 4 года назад +5

      And you admired the admiration.

    • @ImaNerdANDaGeek
      @ImaNerdANDaGeek 4 года назад +9

      Or "Jerry Doesn't Proofread"

    • @oriontigley5089
      @oriontigley5089 4 года назад +3

      Well thats what I payed for and ZeFrank delivered!

    • @diannelavoie5385
      @diannelavoie5385 4 года назад +1

      For Zefrank, that's perfectly normal, and actually to be expected. We'd be disappointed if he didn't. Admit it.

  • @drukharimatter2962
    @drukharimatter2962 2 года назад +284

    “Except for the Canadians, they keep it all locked up inside”
    As a Canadian, I support this statement.

  • @ghostophelia2245
    @ghostophelia2245 4 года назад +465

    ... I thought for a second that he was going to say that they planted the grains and began a tradition of farming lol

    • @timwoods2852
      @timwoods2852 4 года назад +5

      Same.

    • @milkjug4237
      @milkjug4237 4 года назад +29

      They will eventually. They'll do it with sugarcane probably

    • @deborahhanna6640
      @deborahhanna6640 4 года назад +31

      Show them. They will learn.

    • @kinziek3190
      @kinziek3190 4 года назад

      Ditto

    • @ouwkyuha
      @ouwkyuha 4 года назад +13

      give them youtube and they will become human in no time

  • @PondWaterEnjoyer
    @PondWaterEnjoyer 4 года назад +903

    Cant wait for the horses one...
    "Next time you feel safe around a horse, just remember they're omnivores."

    • @PondWaterEnjoyer
      @PondWaterEnjoyer 4 года назад +108

      @@kziila0244 yeah, it says herbivore on google but they can and do eat meat. I've seen one straight up eat a live chicken before

    • @blaise6258
      @blaise6258 4 года назад +52

      @@PondWaterEnjoyer WHAT????

    • @fqqno4886
      @fqqno4886 4 года назад +74

      Herbivores can and will eat meat given the opportunity though prolonged consumption of meat could kill them or mutate their body

    • @fqqno4886
      @fqqno4886 4 года назад +11

      dont quote me on this

    • @mozarteanchaos
      @mozarteanchaos 4 года назад +85

      @@PondWaterEnjoyer they'd need to eat way more meat than they do to be considered omnivores. many herbivores will opportunistically eat meat - cows will eat birds that land in their feed troughs, for instance.
      chickens, on the other hand? those're _real_ omnivores. they will intentionally hunt and kill small animals for food, and they feel no remorse for it. wonderful little creatures, chickens are.

  • @VINCENTDARKLY
    @VINCENTDARKLY 4 года назад +234

    "I swear look up a picture of a dictionary inside a moron and you'll find me."
    I don't know why but this made me laugh so hard.

  • @ilyabulgak510
    @ilyabulgak510 3 года назад +190

    “Look up a picture of a dictionary inside of a moron and you will find me” 😂😂😂

  • @touremuhammad5983
    @touremuhammad5983 4 года назад +203

    “Charlie do you remember how I told you your father went out for cigarettes & never came back?” “Yeah!” “Well, I’d like you to get some cigarettes now!”

  • @amadmenace8874
    @amadmenace8874 4 года назад +373

    you're probably the only channel whose sponsorship portion I'll watch through, you and your voiceovers rock

    • @reNINTENDO
      @reNINTENDO 4 года назад +7

      Internet Historians are legendary. They have character arcs.

    • @Goabnb94
      @Goabnb94 4 года назад

      Check out Jay Foreman, his sponsorship parts are creative, entertaining and funny.

    • @TheKhalzone
      @TheKhalzone 4 года назад

      Ikr. It actually makes it hilarious

    • @stevenjames6766
      @stevenjames6766 4 года назад

      i hate them but this one felt apart of the show/video.

    • @dolphinexpert2748
      @dolphinexpert2748 4 года назад +3

      Internet historian's ads are almost as good as his videos. I think he might make a show about nordvpn man

  • @uttamg911
    @uttamg911 4 года назад +291

    “Leave macaca where it was..Don’t play with it...” -ZeFrancaca 2020

    • @katrineaustin3135
      @katrineaustin3135 4 года назад +11

      this needed a drink warning lol

    • @edmundnschrag
      @edmundnschrag 4 года назад +8

      It's too long to be "my cock"

    • @songpoetry1
      @songpoetry1 4 года назад

      @@edmundnschrag Oooh, I just got that double meaning! My first thought was "my Kaka", but that only works if you know that Kaka means poop in German and somehow I don't think that that's what he was going for.

  • @Arthimetes
    @Arthimetes 3 года назад +568

    I swear Zefrank's voice sounds like a white morgan freeman

    • @codyallen43
      @codyallen43 3 года назад +50

      Well he got his start with true facts about Morgan Freeman and it kind of evolved from there so yeah, that's kind of the point

    • @originalscottfree
      @originalscottfree 3 года назад +5

      @@codyallen43 I thought he started with Sad Cat Diaries?

    • @minutemansam1214
      @minutemansam1214 3 года назад +4

      @@codyallen43 The first True Facts was about Hedgehogs.

    • @jebsmith323
      @jebsmith323 3 года назад +1

      I'll just leave this here. Mr. Freeman came first. ruclips.net/video/oY8YvreAFl4/видео.html

    • @NativeTexMexican
      @NativeTexMexican 3 года назад

      @@jebsmith323 Phrasing.

  • @jeffnarum1373
    @jeffnarum1373 4 года назад +388

    Somewhere there's a Macaque studying humans dumping food on a beach.

    • @mochoman743
      @mochoman743 4 года назад

      @Stick Bug somewhere there's a macaque dump on the beach

    • @kassandraofodyssey6475
      @kassandraofodyssey6475 4 года назад +1

      @@mochoman743 Somewhere there's a macaque dumper on the beach.

    • @mochoman743
      @mochoman743 4 года назад

      @@kassandraofodyssey6475 somewhere there's a macaque dumping on the beach

  • @kylestubbs8867
    @kylestubbs8867 4 года назад +430

    I guess we should expect "True Facts about the Raccoon" next week.

  • @vanitas7441
    @vanitas7441 4 года назад +336

    “I swear, look up a picture of a dictionary inside of a moron and you’ll find me.” hey frank are you okay

  • @BOB-wo2nb
    @BOB-wo2nb 2 года назад +121

    I was stationed in JN for many years and got to see the snow monkeys several times. Their societies are extremely strict. Only royalty are allowed in the hot tub. They'll kill a commoner that even gets too close to water. You'll see low ranking members literally freezing in the cold just wistfully watching the royals relax in the hot water. They're pretty hard core and ze is absolutely hilarious!

    • @musicaccount3340
      @musicaccount3340 Год назад +13

      Damn. Makes it easier to understand how early human societies were so cruel

    • @belisarius6949
      @belisarius6949 Год назад +10

      ​@@musicaccount3340Yeah...Only early ones...Never again right? Haha...

    • @Narutass43
      @Narutass43 Год назад

      "royals"? A little dramatic

    • @musicaccount3340
      @musicaccount3340 Год назад +1

      @@belisarius6949 it definitely got better. From the caste systems, human sacrifices, mutilation punishments, slavery, etc.

    • @TheMid-KnightRider
      @TheMid-KnightRider Год назад +4

      ​@@musicaccount3340 ...
      WHAT "rock" have YOU been living under, darlin'? ALL of those "things" are STILL going on INCLUDING "human sacrifices." 🧐

  • @delennamachoo
    @delennamachoo 4 года назад +414

    “And that’s why you have to be careful about what you get caught washing, by the way. Might be your nickname. That’s what “Josh “Balls in the Sink” Spectre always told me.” I’m still laughing at this.

    • @Mortthemoose
      @Mortthemoose 4 года назад +1

      😂😂😂😂

    • @rebekahrowan1216
      @rebekahrowan1216 4 года назад

      Lol, I'm surprised it wasn't his friend Jerry again. 🤣🤣🤣

  • @jennythalia7320
    @jennythalia7320 4 года назад +101

    "Jerry, don't do that. Leave Macaca where it was. Don't play with it"
    Hahahahahaha!

  • @ollieworth7341
    @ollieworth7341 4 года назад +505

    "..except for canadians"
    Me, whos freezing in my near 30 degree room: yes

    • @Tommi414
      @Tommi414 4 года назад +10

      It’s 30 degrees and you’re freezing?

    • @Heyitsann
      @Heyitsann 4 года назад +21

      Is this Fahrenheit or Celsius

    • @ChristianPaulDelage
      @ChristianPaulDelage 4 года назад +15

      @@Heyitsann I would think Fahrenheit as Celsius would be freaking hot...

    • @kylekafka6636
      @kylekafka6636 4 года назад +56

      @@Heyitsann If they're Canadian then it's Celsius, which only adds to my confusion

    • @Ramotttholl
      @Ramotttholl 4 года назад +1

      Aah come on it's fine!

  • @arshawiir
    @arshawiir 3 года назад +27

    Cracking up and fascination is the two things that happen to me when I watch your videos. Humans don't usually exhibit these two behaviors simultaneously!
    You're a genius sir.

  • @serapheid3669
    @serapheid3669 4 года назад +717

    "Give these guys a deep fryer. I'm sure that some would fall in but tha- "
    I died, right there.

    • @Dimaz42
      @Dimaz42 4 года назад +24

      they learn to make french fries after observing some fried macaques

    • @racookster
      @racookster 4 года назад +5

      I suddenly, graphically imagined what would happen if I tried to show a group of macaques how to use a fully-heated deep fat fryer. I'm still twitching. I'm gonna have nightmares over that.

    • @cooldude2722
      @cooldude2722 4 года назад +9

      “-t’s how I learnt to swim.”

    • @lilmichaeltaylor546
      @lilmichaeltaylor546 4 года назад

      Same

  • @readysteadywhoa
    @readysteadywhoa 4 года назад +1138

    "Even a small injury can lead to death, because they haven't invented doctors yet"
    - zefrank 2020

    • @madcatlover7554
      @madcatlover7554 4 года назад +28

      Ben Brown sounds like America with healthcare

    • @revparravager3184
      @revparravager3184 4 года назад +8

      @@madcatlover7554 Naah its America with Trump who is definitely a big gross swollen hemmorroid.

    • @dogman5791
      @dogman5791 4 года назад

      ???

    • @allblazing1160
      @allblazing1160 4 года назад +1

      This man has become one of my favorite RUclipsrs

    • @sheev15yearsago81
      @sheev15yearsago81 4 года назад +2

      @cody davis Boomers are the idiots who support trump.

  • @pacocadefeijao
    @pacocadefeijao 4 года назад +1522

    If we didn't evolve we now could be enjoying a free hot spring

    • @joshbuenaventura3297
      @joshbuenaventura3297 4 года назад +98

      God damn evolution, ruined our free hot spring

    • @j.s.2281
      @j.s.2281 4 года назад +31

      Yeah not worth the swelling. Lol

    • @alexanderblatt8653
      @alexanderblatt8653 4 года назад +42

      I think your forgetting something more important... we would also get a bunch of free sweet potatoes!

    • @jeffmatrachisia3827
      @jeffmatrachisia3827 4 года назад +18

      Alexander Blatt and we could be figuring out how to season them, this is truly the universe god abandoned.

    • @Dr_Andracca
      @Dr_Andracca 4 года назад +4

      @@jeffmatrachisia3827 Found the white person.

  • @aschaurora
    @aschaurora 4 года назад +181

    "today we're explore the culture of... mah c*ck.."
    Me at 4am : *trying to not laugh too loud*

    • @Goabnb94
      @Goabnb94 3 года назад +3

      No its too long to be mah c*ck

  • @levannah60
    @levannah60 4 года назад +142

    LOL..'you know how your father went to go get ciggarettes and never came back? I'm telling you know to go get ciggaretts now.' OMG, Priceless!

  • @medchan5810
    @medchan5810 4 года назад +131

    From Canadians to butt swelling to marriage to zombies, I can never tell where these are going.

    • @deckardcanine
      @deckardcanine 4 года назад +9

      Hopefully not Canadian swollen-butted zombie marriages.

    • @clothar23
      @clothar23 4 года назад +5

      @@deckardcanine Is it Tuesday again ?

  • @Ealsante
    @Ealsante 4 года назад +103

    Five hundred years later, there will be memorials to Imo, Washer of Tubers, Sorter of Grain, The Sage of the Waters. There will be those who say she was also the Salter of Tubers, but others deny that, and say that was the work of another sage.

    • @mangaanimefan3089
      @mangaanimefan3089 4 года назад +13

      That's actually what I was wondering. If there would be a mythos around Imo. I'm trying to recall examples from other cultures, but I can't think of any at the moment.
      But, she was the first, right? Or, at least, the first ever seen. She spread this new knowledge, first to her peers, then her elders, and finally the next generation. She would be a historical/mythical figure. I wonder how/ if this culture will continue to grow?

    • @Ealsante
      @Ealsante 4 года назад +15

      @@mangaanimefan3089 Well, Chinese mythology's human heroes are often culture heroes. Suiren taught humans to make fire; Fuxi figured out writing; Shennong figured out farming and medicine. The Yellow Emperor's wife taught sericulture, and the Yellow Emperor himself figured out divination. So yeah, definitely I think it's possible.

    • @susie9893
      @susie9893 2 года назад

      @@Ealsante ah, Red Dwarfian

  • @jackbradley8897
    @jackbradley8897 3 года назад +376

    it’s crazy to think that our existence relies on a single monkey like potato. They did things differently and now we exist. life’s wild

    • @MidnightDStroyer
      @MidnightDStroyer 3 года назад +23

      If they ever figure out how to turn those potatoes into low-yield batteries, we hoomanz iz all screwed.

    • @jpthepug3126
      @jpthepug3126 3 года назад +9

      @@MidnightDStroyer imagine if they manage to make high voltage with the potatoes learning faster than us then they will think we are the dumb ones

    • @jpthepug3126
      @jpthepug3126 2 года назад +1

      @Nambu Tōri potato

    • @coacht6308
      @coacht6308 2 года назад +5

      We did not come from monkey’s.

    • @ReeLesTReaLisT
      @ReeLesTReaLisT Год назад

      You believe that monkey to human garbage

  • @IlSharmouta
    @IlSharmouta 4 года назад +91

    Petition for zefrank to narrate every youtube ad and sponsorship

    • @Mortthemoose
      @Mortthemoose 4 года назад +2

      Definitely! 😅😅
      I would actually WATCH the ads then!

  • @FishDrinkLightGreen
    @FishDrinkLightGreen 4 года назад +392

    " It's like when you go to your friends house and find a list of friends but you're not even in the top 5 and thats bullshit because you lent him your bike "
    This is oddly specific Zefrank, who hurt you?

    • @infernaldisdain8051
      @infernaldisdain8051 4 года назад +11

      Not oddly specific enough. Even if it hasn't happened to you, I think we all know someone who this has happened to.

    • @jimm2099
      @jimm2099 4 года назад +1

      You just let us know and we'll kick your but into their face!

    • @Abitflippant
      @Abitflippant 4 года назад

      I made a list like that in my journal at school and the ass that sat next to me shared it with the class. I cringe just remembering it.

    • @englishatheart
      @englishatheart 4 года назад

      @@infernaldisdain8051 Some people have no friends in order to know someone this happened to.

    • @ThisIsReMarkable
      @ThisIsReMarkable 4 года назад

      There are still three possible MySpace spots left!

  • @zeehobo
    @zeehobo 4 года назад +230

    “Raspberry has learned how to use a stick” yeets it at pepper lmao

  • @ActualFactualSK
    @ActualFactualSK 3 года назад +61

    "Butt violence is dangerous"
    🤣🤣🤣
    Jerry totally needs a raise

    • @roccov3614
      @roccov3614 2 года назад +4

      This is the second video I've seen with a butt/but joke. Subtle butt, sorry, subtle but hilarious.

  • @ShondaBear18
    @ShondaBear18 4 года назад +762

    “They both want the pipe again. Not a euphemism”🤣

  • @pork_nachos
    @pork_nachos 4 года назад +80

    "No, it's too long to be macock"
    This joke went right over my head for like 5 seconds then it hit me 😂😂

    • @elimuanderson889
      @elimuanderson889 4 года назад +1

      pork_nachos over your head, like Shaquille O’Neil walking over a midget? ...then it hit ya?

    • @pork_nachos
      @pork_nachos 4 года назад

      @@elimuanderson889 precisely, my friend 😂

  • @roadgoeseveron7128
    @roadgoeseveron7128 4 года назад +31

    The voice breaking "yeah" was perfect

  • @chinitonamoreno
    @chinitonamoreno 4 года назад +36

    "Marriage!? But papa wouldn't allow it"
    "Elope?"
    Sounds melodramatic, straight from Romeo and Juliet, then then came, "but what about the zombies?" Ahaha

  • @nates1517
    @nates1517 4 года назад +339

    “Think of it as an all inclusive nude resort.” - Zefrank 2020

    • @PlatinumAltaria
      @PlatinumAltaria 4 года назад +13

      The entire planet is a nudist resort, humans are just too shy to join in.

  • @StratBlackFishRa
    @StratBlackFishRa 4 года назад +87

    I love the cold, no mosquitoes and never sweating

    • @satrickptar6265
      @satrickptar6265 4 года назад +5

      indeed, plus I enjoy bath more when cold

    • @Angry-Lynx
      @Angry-Lynx 4 года назад +4

      never sweating? it doesnt work like that xd;

    • @RoronoaZoro-ur6hr
      @RoronoaZoro-ur6hr 4 года назад +3

      Mr Devitt, I’ve always liked the warmth in Vernal and the chillyness in Autumn, but I’ve never liked the freezing cold in Winter and the extreme humidity heat in the Summer time.

    • @StratBlackFishRa
      @StratBlackFishRa 4 года назад

      @@RoronoaZoro-ur6hr I admit, there is something nice about the warmth of 0 in the "Spring" and something refreshing when it cools down to -5 in the "fall". But I prefer the frigid -30s we get for the better part of our six month winter. I've spent some time in Phoenix, AZ and damn did that heat ever make me miss the cold. Beautiful place and great people though, definitely gonna be headin back to the U S of A as soon as I can.

    • @StratBlackFishRa
      @StratBlackFishRa 4 года назад

      @Stephanie Logan Also, it gives an extra reason for those who are close to cuddle up

  • @Th3Shrike
    @Th3Shrike 4 года назад +337

    The backwards hippos are evolving, they just attained hands

    • @Mosler
      @Mosler 4 года назад +11

      You mean the Oppih?

    • @p_ma
      @p_ma 4 года назад +3

      Shoot are they gonna bite my face on?

    • @sendoh7x
      @sendoh7x 4 года назад

      We need a backwards macaque truefacts next

  • @AndrewPonti
    @AndrewPonti 2 года назад +38

    "take it al dente" must be one of the funniest things I've ever heard along with "pipe". God I laughed so hard for 5 minutes straight. Also these creatures are amazing - you just KNOW that if they lived near a volcano they'd take the potato, wash them, soak them in seawater, then put them on the hot rocks nearby and cook them into French fries. You can see how these are our ancestors.

    • @craven5328
      @craven5328 Год назад +2

      Yup, that part destroyed me too lol. Laughed so hard my face got sore.

    • @ManoredRed
      @ManoredRed Год назад +1

      They are not actually, all the species humans descend from are extinct (at least as far back as we can reliably trace, who knows, maybe papa fish is out there somewhere). Modern primates are other branches in the great primate tree.
      And macaques are not apes, these guys are less related to us than the likes of chimps and gorillas.

    • @CookingWithCows
      @CookingWithCows Год назад +1

      We're probably genetically more similar to a pig than to a macaque. It's weird like that.

  • @Lady8D
    @Lady8D 4 года назад +147

    I haven't heard anything after: "Well, I'd like you to go get cigarettes now..." LMFAO!!!!! K, gotta get it together long enough to finish the video =D

  • @sweetfreeze5528
    @sweetfreeze5528 4 года назад +258

    "They're two-thirds of the way to a french fry. Get these guys a deep fryer. Sure...a few might fall in but that's how *I* learned to swim."
    I. Just. Can't. 🤣

    • @serapheid3669
      @serapheid3669 4 года назад +8

      I died right there as well

    • @paulhollier6382
      @paulhollier6382 4 года назад +10

      Me too. That is the point where I finally lost it, and began laughing hysterically. Leave it to the Ze to top the old "monkey with a machine gun" meme.

  • @TheAndersDanilet
    @TheAndersDanilet 4 года назад +236

    “Ma cac” means “I am pooping” in Romanian. So... I still giggle every time I hear the word “macaque”. A macaque tried opening my backpack and then nibbled on my finger when I was visiting Gibraltar.

    • @magnificloud
      @magnificloud 4 года назад +18

      I love how everyone giggles as macaque for different reasons

    • @b-meuwu1236
      @b-meuwu1236 4 года назад +28

      It's also means dick face in Vietnamese :)))

    • @mongezinkosi
      @mongezinkosi 4 года назад +16

      It means poop in South Africa too

    • @atsukorichards1675
      @atsukorichards1675 4 года назад +7

      That's funny. By the way, I heard that they built the hot bath for the macaques specially because they tend to discharge in the hot water. (Same as the human babies, I think...)

    • @-Big_Big
      @-Big_Big 4 года назад +7

      great. you taught it step one of "eating human fingers"
      *try nibbling first*

  • @taylorbullard2118
    @taylorbullard2118 2 года назад +2

    The long macack joke just sent coffee through my nose. Thank you, I needed that this morning.

  • @stigmastorm5204
    @stigmastorm5204 4 года назад +411

    "Look up a picture of a dictionary inside of a moron and you'll find me."
    Nobel level writing if I ever heard any.

    • @user-dr2yz8um3d
      @user-dr2yz8um3d 4 года назад +4

      ZeFrank knows best

    • @myroncaine
      @myroncaine 4 года назад +1

      This went right over my head till I found your comment

  • @SaritaWolf
    @SaritaWolf 4 года назад +191

    I had no idea that the whole “snow macaques use hot springs” thing wasn’t natural, but man-made

    • @AnEnormousNerd
      @AnEnormousNerd 4 года назад +65

      I mean, they stared doing it on their own. We just gave them a special hot spring just for them so they wouldn't have to use tourist locations. And, in the process, created a new tourist attraction.

    • @recoil53
      @recoil53 4 года назад +13

      @@AnEnormousNerd So the area has hot springs, but they have their own man made ones?

    • @m0L3ify
      @m0L3ify 4 года назад +11

      @@recoil53 Yes

    • @MuskratOutdoors
      @MuskratOutdoors 4 года назад +19

      @@recoil53 It's a natural hot spring, just dug out and enlarged by man.

  • @angelserenade
    @angelserenade 4 года назад +54

    The line "the science word for Taint" had me cracking up.
    The script gets better and better

  • @AnswersRule
    @AnswersRule 4 года назад +24

    I like the number of uploads, that is not normally how the zefrank1 do. But I do like.

  • @marksullivan6319
    @marksullivan6319 3 года назад +6

    "it's tricky right? That could be a nose." Lol I also find it funny how you get such a kick out of watching animals walk in rewind. The hippo's were hilarious.

  • @kal.e.4556
    @kal.e.4556 4 года назад +1264

    "People pay money to take pictures of them while they're taking a bath"
    So, onlyfans?
    Edit: spelling

  • @ndemers
    @ndemers 4 года назад +467

    "Except for the Canadians, they keep it all locked up inside."
    Truuuue

    • @khatharrmalkavian3306
      @khatharrmalkavian3306 4 года назад +21

      And then they apologize for it.

    • @setsurarara
      @setsurarara 4 года назад +12

      Canadians is an entirely new species

    • @KryssLaBryn
      @KryssLaBryn 4 года назад +17

      But only until the rituals of July 1st; then we download it into the geese

    • @caduceus68
      @caduceus68 4 года назад +5

      No. I bitch about it.

    • @NotChefCook
      @NotChefCook 4 года назад +4

      KryssLaBryn - So THAT'S where it goes ...😳

  • @waialaepaseuth9080
    @waialaepaseuth9080 4 года назад +23

    “Throw Macaca up on the screen”. Genius!

  • @richardletaw4068
    @richardletaw4068 6 месяцев назад

    First one of these I saw was about “Clams That Catch Fish.” Laughed ‘til I cried. Now I can’t enough. Keep ‘em coming, please!

  • @aaronwelch5391
    @aaronwelch5391 4 года назад +77

    True Fact: this is my favorite thing about the internet

    • @FlexBeanbag
      @FlexBeanbag 4 года назад

      ruclips.net/video/Bmc9NFfhx74/видео.html

  • @samuelhancock1447
    @samuelhancock1447 4 года назад +29

    We've all had that marriage-parent approval-zombie invasion conversation with our significant others

  • @markkmiecik9797
    @markkmiecik9797 4 года назад +263

    If school was this entertaining everyone in the country would be a genius.

    • @jmh1189
      @jmh1189 3 года назад +2

      @fumikumi alright genius, it's one of three primarily English speaking countries. there, narrowed it down for ya.

  • @dshepherd107
    @dshepherd107 2 года назад +7

    My stomach hurts from laughing so hard. This one is another gem! Ty for continuing to bring us these my guy.

  • @jenw6009
    @jenw6009 4 года назад +68

    Mom: Charlie, do you remember how I told you your father went out for cigarettes and never came back?
    Charlie: Yeah.
    Mom: Well, I'd like you to get some cigarettes now.

    • @TaterKakez
      @TaterKakez 4 года назад

      Jeni Wolf lololol this was my favorite part. I just started barking with laughter

    • @alstaka4375
      @alstaka4375 4 года назад

      I love how he made the "yeah" with a voice crack

  • @BlackFox0911
    @BlackFox0911 4 года назад +693

    “It’s like Game of Thrones but with less nudity”
    Yet the sex is the same
    *EDIT* : I just wanted to thank everyone for the 700 likes and counting. I never thought I could pull off so many smiles. It means a lot

    • @MatthewMilton
      @MatthewMilton 4 года назад +3

      Should I quit youtube my friends make fun of me for it

    • @BlackFox0911
      @BlackFox0911 4 года назад +2

      Matt Milton - Not at all! Informative and hilarious!!

    • @GODOFAWSOMENESS1
      @GODOFAWSOMENESS1 4 года назад +3

      Matt Milton there is nothing wrong with watching RUclips videos in fact your friends have probably unknowingly seen some RUclips videos and didn’t realize it.

    • @BlackFox0911
      @BlackFox0911 4 года назад

      I just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone for the 700 likes and counting. I never thought I could pull off so many smiles. It means a lot

  • @audreygraciam4032
    @audreygraciam4032 4 года назад +76

    "sorry, you need to look at this one backwards"
    you don't need to apologize, Ze, I love your backward footage

  • @Shivxngee
    @Shivxngee 3 года назад +13

    I'm so happy to see this. Give it a million years and macaques might be the new society.

  • @thebestcentaur
    @thebestcentaur 4 года назад +58

    "Even a small injury can result in death because they haven't invented doctors yet."
    I laughed harder than I probably should have

  • @ThePopushi
    @ThePopushi 4 года назад +1049

    holy SWELLING. JEEZ 4:42

  • @johnslade9751
    @johnslade9751 4 года назад +61

    Mom: what are you doing?
    Me: eating nuts and learning about Macaque

  • @andykay2636
    @andykay2636 2 года назад +2

    Combining two of my favorite things: Animal facts and humor!! I’m obsessed with your videos!

  • @a-ramenartist9734
    @a-ramenartist9734 4 года назад +273

    "But they dont have fur on their butt" so basically the opposite of us

    • @chihauhaun
      @chihauhaun 4 года назад +5

      77 people have hairy butts

    • @bari2883
      @bari2883 4 года назад

      Speak for yourself. 😁

  • @TheAstronomyDude
    @TheAstronomyDude 4 года назад +123

    In Romanian, "macaque" phonetically literally means "I am pooping!" Conjugated in the imperative, so the exclamation point is included.

    •  4 года назад +1

      you have first person imperative? sounds dumb...

    • @Injudiciously
      @Injudiciously 4 года назад +2

      We have a similar UK expression. "Me Crap"

    • @killdozer7792
      @killdozer7792 4 года назад +5

      That sounds weirdly appropriate for a monkey.

    • @TheAstronomyDude
      @TheAstronomyDude 4 года назад +1

      @ Well it's figurative. If you mean it literally, then it wouldn't be in the imperative and you wouldn't add an exclamation.

    • @arkan5000
      @arkan5000 4 года назад +2

      in spanish, i imagine the equivalent would be "me cago!" which is the same "i'm pooping" or "i'm gonna poop myself"

  • @chesedshalom
    @chesedshalom 4 года назад +366

    “Butt violence is...*sorry typo* but Violence is...”

    • @WillShakes423
      @WillShakes423 3 года назад +15

      "But she sits up, right?
      Sorry. Upright..."
      That one made me laugh too hard.

    • @happyproduction4209
      @happyproduction4209 3 года назад +1

      @@WillShakes423 yah I’m sure he has a few jokes people don’t catch or appreciate as much as they should

  • @e_rawk
    @e_rawk 3 года назад +5

    HOW am I just finding this series? These are HILARIOUS.

  • @billmankin6204
    @billmankin6204 4 года назад +29

    "Science word for taint." I had to pause to stop laughing. Twice, cuz, yeah I went back to hear that again. So glad to see you making new content - better than ever!

  • @suzannahstan
    @suzannahstan 4 года назад +42

    Dude you are truly a genius. Thank you for these.... I just discovered them recently and you have TRULY made this bastard of a year better. 🤗🥰🥳😘

  • @madeliner1682
    @madeliner1682 4 года назад +67

    You can't just say "the science word for taint" and move on... I'm dying over here lol

    • @amd0824
      @amd0824 4 года назад +3

      Madeline R that’s how zefrank do.

  • @fashiondiva6972
    @fashiondiva6972 2 года назад +7

    I don’t think I can make it through the video. I’m watching in bed and keep waking up the dog and cat (and the human beside me, but it’s the dog and cat I’m concerned about most😂) with hysterical laughing. I made it to “guess which one is ready to mate” when I gave up and vowed to finish when everyone is awake. All of these videos have this effect on me but this one was to an extreme👏🏾

  • @0DeathTheKid15
    @0DeathTheKid15 4 года назад +27

    " Butt-Violence is dangerous..Sorry, BUT Violence is dangerous. Jerry we have to proofread this!"
    ........
    " They are also very good at communicating with there feces, Sorry, faces. Jerry!"
    I lost it at that part XD

  • @Dimbledude
    @Dimbledude 4 года назад +39

    I've found a new dream job: Bringer of sweet potatoes to macaques.

  • @meetthecassiani
    @meetthecassiani 4 года назад +329

    He even makes the commercial interesting. I think that’s a first.

    • @bowjadaninja
      @bowjadaninja 4 года назад +15

      And it wasn't even a commercial for
      RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS
      START NOW FOR FREE!

    • @MrWilson812
      @MrWilson812 4 года назад +5

      Hitmonkey looks pretty damn cool, not going to lie.

    • @zacgeorge5559
      @zacgeorge5559 4 года назад +6

      How did this get sponsored by Marvel (Disney)?!?! That was great!

    • @AhbabDH
      @AhbabDH 4 года назад +5

      Totally Agree, I never watched a commercial to the end in yt before, That's a first for me. 👽

    • @syk0saje
      @syk0saje 4 года назад +4

      Internet Historian does a pretty good job at it too!

  • @tonya8652
    @tonya8652 3 года назад +3

    Bravo I absolutely love how you narrated this clip. Very informative and very entertaining. Thank you