When I was in college, I would randomly swap words (sometimes not even realizing it unless other people point it out) or have a slurred speech in such severity that I legit wondered if I could've had a stroke. It eventually got better but, from time to time, when I'm feeling a bit more "blue" I will still go back to randomly mixing words some times but, since I only recently started contemplating whether or not I may have autism, I never put two and two together and considered it could be one of the signs of how autistic burnout is manifesting for me. So I'm glad that you decided to keep it in and put it on the internet.
I am also autistic. I'm a college student, so things are a bit different for me, but I feel like all of my peers are too busy to hang out, which impacts my social life and well-being. I feel really sorry for you :C
That’s okay. You need not feel sorry for me. Let’s instead feel angry together about a world that puts us amongst all manner of bullshit. Anger is definitely not a positive emotion but... it can be a productive one 🙂
Edit: Captions complete (2/9) Btw all apologies for the lack of captions at this point. Given where my brain is at my auditory processing skills are not what they were so it’s taking longer than is ideal. Please be patient with me 💚
I felt something like this back around November 2020. I was writing every day just to be "productive" during a pandemic. Things I didn't consider until later is that while it has its therapeutic component, it also felt like a distraction from a variety of things. The pandemic, on an emotional level, overwhelmed me for a variety of reasons. As an American, there were other things politically and environmentally that just felt so despairing at the time. Long story short, it lead to the worst four months of my adult life. I recognize a lot of it was being autistic and burned out (oddly enough the only motivating thing during this time was talking to other neurodivergents about how terrible Sia's Music was), but I also was just losing faith in so much. I essentially had depression that I used as an excuse to play into bad tendencies. Most of all, I couldn't write unless the prompt was an overtly personal "What is wrong with me?" On the one hand, slowing down helped me to think about life in more constructive manners, but the black hole that was life was so awful if for no other reason than I felt like I let everyone down by being vulnerable and writing imperfectly worded tweets. Still, as someone who wants to be a writer as a career, it felt horrifying that I was suddenly intimidated to write five paragraphs on anything. The good news is that I eventually "got out," or at least found a more productive perspective. I can't say it came conveniently or immediately. What followed was maybe not my most productive year, but one of my happier because I changed what interested me and I appreciated aspects of life that I was overshadowing for a "productive" view of self. For me, less is more right now and I don't believe I am anywhere near where I mapped out two years ago. I'm still trying to get the spark back, but I find a reduced output every month is still something. Again, it's mostly when inspiration strikes. I really wish you well on your journey and hope the burnout isn't too terrible. Take as much time away being inactive as you need and find what matters to you. I can't tell you how to find answers but I can say that hopefully there will be some answers somewhere in there that satisfy you.
You know, I've run my channel on being 100% UNscripted, UNedited, UNsensored, and after hearing from all these bigger RUclipsrs how much ppl want to see someone vlog with those exact qualities, being 100% REAL, but my channel is PROOF THAT'S BULL-💩!! People want you to pander to them & people ONLY want to see/hear POSITIVITY & something INSPIRING, they don't want ANYONE to be 100% REAL if their life is depressing or has no good outlook. Unless you're a terminally ill person who's still super positive & has tons of ppl behind them, helping them do it all, helping to carry the load, like some famous RUclipsrs have been. TBH, I only keep fighting, keep working, keep using every moment of having any energy to create content whenever I can (becuz it's super rare lately), because it's the only thing I have left to keep me going. I sure wish I could see progress at all, that didn't only happen once or twice becuz of a shout-out by a bigger creator...😥
I also want to add that I find it healthy to have a reason for making things that is about more than the numbers. We are at the whims of a computer program on this website and honestly, success is not predictable. So I try v hard not to measure success by the numbers. (Which is hard to do when they’re shoved down your throat I know) But yeah, I create instead for self-expression and to have a conversation with those who are interested in what I have to say. Sorry it’s nothing tangible about numbers but that’s some advice from one smaller creator to another. Hang in there 💚
@@ArtemisMunoz If you're a small creator, then I'm sub-terranean with 600 subscribers. 11 years of RUclips videos, and I'm a goldfish in the Atlantic Ocean. I made my channel because I didn't see people like me on RUclips. I thought my videos would make people feel less alone, and foster community, but like, I feel alone! In my experience, RUclips, while being touted as "social media", is not a great place for making friends. SO I send my videos out into the deep vacuum of space, and hope that at least one person will find them helpful.
When I was in college, I would randomly swap words (sometimes not even realizing it unless other people point it out) or have a slurred speech in such severity that I legit wondered if I could've had a stroke. It eventually got better but, from time to time, when I'm feeling a bit more "blue" I will still go back to randomly mixing words some times but, since I only recently started contemplating whether or not I may have autism, I never put two and two together and considered it could be one of the signs of how autistic burnout is manifesting for me. So I'm glad that you decided to keep it in and put it on the internet.
I am also autistic. I'm a college student, so things are a bit different for me, but I feel like all of my peers are too busy to hang out, which impacts my social life and well-being. I feel really sorry for you :C
That’s okay. You need not feel sorry for me. Let’s instead feel angry together about a world that puts us amongst all manner of bullshit.
Anger is definitely not a positive emotion but... it can be a productive one 🙂
Edit: Captions complete (2/9)
Btw all apologies for the lack of captions at this point. Given where my brain is at my auditory processing skills are not what they were so it’s taking longer than is ideal. Please be patient with me 💚
I felt something like this back around November 2020. I was writing every day just to be "productive" during a pandemic. Things I didn't consider until later is that while it has its therapeutic component, it also felt like a distraction from a variety of things. The pandemic, on an emotional level, overwhelmed me for a variety of reasons. As an American, there were other things politically and environmentally that just felt so despairing at the time. Long story short, it lead to the worst four months of my adult life.
I recognize a lot of it was being autistic and burned out (oddly enough the only motivating thing during this time was talking to other neurodivergents about how terrible Sia's Music was), but I also was just losing faith in so much. I essentially had depression that I used as an excuse to play into bad tendencies. Most of all, I couldn't write unless the prompt was an overtly personal "What is wrong with me?" On the one hand, slowing down helped me to think about life in more constructive manners, but the black hole that was life was so awful if for no other reason than I felt like I let everyone down by being vulnerable and writing imperfectly worded tweets. Still, as someone who wants to be a writer as a career, it felt horrifying that I was suddenly intimidated to write five paragraphs on anything.
The good news is that I eventually "got out," or at least found a more productive perspective. I can't say it came conveniently or immediately. What followed was maybe not my most productive year, but one of my happier because I changed what interested me and I appreciated aspects of life that I was overshadowing for a "productive" view of self. For me, less is more right now and I don't believe I am anywhere near where I mapped out two years ago. I'm still trying to get the spark back, but I find a reduced output every month is still something. Again, it's mostly when inspiration strikes.
I really wish you well on your journey and hope the burnout isn't too terrible. Take as much time away being inactive as you need and find what matters to you. I can't tell you how to find answers but I can say that hopefully there will be some answers somewhere in there that satisfy you.
Thanks for sharing this. Hopefully I can find a balance that works for me. Glad you’ve found a place you’re content with!
You know, I've run my channel on being 100% UNscripted, UNedited, UNsensored, and after hearing from all these bigger RUclipsrs how much ppl want to see someone vlog with those exact qualities, being 100% REAL, but my channel is PROOF THAT'S BULL-💩!! People want you to pander to them & people ONLY want to see/hear POSITIVITY & something INSPIRING, they don't want ANYONE to be 100% REAL if their life is depressing or has no good outlook. Unless you're a terminally ill person who's still super positive & has tons of ppl behind them, helping them do it all, helping to carry the load, like some famous RUclipsrs have been.
TBH, I only keep fighting, keep working, keep using every moment of having any energy to create content whenever I can (becuz it's super rare lately), because it's the only thing I have left to keep me going.
I sure wish I could see progress at all, that didn't only happen once or twice becuz of a shout-out by a bigger creator...😥
Creating is hard. Hang in there.
I also want to add that I find it healthy to have a reason for making things that is about more than the numbers.
We are at the whims of a computer program on this website and honestly, success is not predictable. So I try v hard not to measure success by the numbers. (Which is hard to do when they’re shoved down your throat I know) But yeah, I create instead for self-expression and to have a conversation with those who are interested in what I have to say.
Sorry it’s nothing tangible about numbers but that’s some advice from one smaller creator to another. Hang in there 💚
@@ArtemisMunoz If you're a small creator, then I'm sub-terranean with 600 subscribers. 11 years of RUclips videos, and I'm a goldfish in the Atlantic Ocean. I made my channel because I didn't see people like me on RUclips. I thought my videos would make people feel less alone, and foster community, but like, I feel alone! In my experience, RUclips, while being touted as "social media", is not a great place for making friends. SO I send my videos out into the deep vacuum of space, and hope that at least one person will find them helpful.