Apparently I'm extremely codependent and I have had a lifetime of narcissistic abuse so Now I am a recluse and stay in that state that you described, not just for a few days. It's been years
I know what it takes to heal. And it's extremely difficult. if you can still heal and not give up it's a good start. People do NOT Understand so that's why it is a lonely journey. However whatever can get you through is better than being hopeless.
9 mons After surviving narcissistic abuse in a 5-year marriage, as a man, I've struggled with this. It's been a real fight internally on top of being a full-time single father of 3 little ones under 5. I needed to hear this. Thank you
Keep going. You will be proud of you. Nothing would make you feel better than going through this shirt and getting out of such nasty thing. Keep going. God help you and God Bless you
It was a 42 year marriage for me. I'm almost one year out. This helped me, too. Even though I'm a counselor, I needed to hear this. Hang in there, buddy!
This is the hardest thing I've been dealing with on days where I feel okay overall. I'll sit for a while and feel like I'm "wasting time" and just being lazy. My partner rightfully said that, if I'm enjoying the time in which I do nothing, then it wasn't a waste of time at all!
Absolutely. This is one of the reasons a lot of people don’t heal from abuse-first they run from the pain, second they don’t allow themselves to just be and feel and reconnect with themselves through the pain.
It's been a year and a half, I work and go home and stare at the wall and my phone and I also try to avoid any other interactions which are not obligatory.
I got used to working from home but lost my job in an unfair way. They kind of pushed me into sick leave using my trauma against me. Now looking for another job but the thought of an office makes me so unhappy. I just want to stay in my safe harbour at home.
I needed to hear this, thank you 💕 I have a chronic pain disorder and being broken up with and kicked out of my home by him, truly devastated me. Even when I’m in the most pain I’ve ever experienced, I feel like I have to be up and doing something or like I’m forgetting to do something. I have honestly made the chronic pain worse by avoiding the rest.. I don’t think as many people would avoid it or feel guilty if they haven’t been shamed for relaxing in the past. It’s truly tough to heal when you don’t even feel like your worthy enough to rest your body lol. Always take care of yourself, no matter what it takes ❤
I can never relax. After a 14 year relationship with a Narcissistic alcoholic & my mother telling me I was a lazy P.O.S if I wasn’t up cleaning something as a child .. trying to just sit still is one of the hardest things for me to do; no matter how exhausted I am 😞
Thank you as I sit here in my comfiest clothes doing nothing because I am healing under the control arguing over correcting cut off when I speak swallowing any knowledge or opinion even when I am ask it’s a wonder I haven’t lost my mind it never stops 😢thank you gir posting this message I can’t believe this happened to a beautiful woman like you I am sorry we didn’t know sooner I am really old ☺️
Yes for sure. I need much time on my couch and I'm also recovering from fresh heartbreak. The man I dated once texted me and I said I'm relaxing on ky couch. He replied: you're always on the couch😄" That remark still stings me. We broke up for another reason bc he would ignore me for days and I felt unimportant so I told him. He said he is emptionally unavailable and that's it. During days I'm active but evening yes I relax. Have been through extremes incl. rape in my own house a few years ago, moving houses twice, jib loss bc of an supervisor and looking for job. Going to try EMDR now but I'm scared for a label so i guess i will pay for it myself I am still healing and I just hope I will work again soon and feel 'normal' and less alone ❤ Best to all of you who struggle and wish you all a powerful happy loving future! Step by step.
I was once so stressed I too woke up with vertigo and dry retching and eventually ended up in hospital . I learnt from that not to allow my thoughts to take me there. It would be a matter of life or death and all my suffering in vain. Thank you. It is so true. I find now that when I go to bed intending to do certain things I can . Then maybe the next day I can’t do anything but rest in bed, usually the next day will be a good one. I keep in mind getting back to how I was pre-abuse. I also listen to pastors talking about Gods help. This is what keeps me going. Joel Osteen is one of my favourites.
To anyone listening right now I can tell you the Narcissistic abuse from my EX - note the EX part, EX- BROTHER, as of yesterday , whose abuse of our family is and was extreme. They’re all dead , I’m the only survivor. The total abuse of EVERY part of our lives was extreme. I’m in no doubt he is the devil himself. My body was ravaged by cancer and the surgeon’s knife and the ONLY way IVE SURVIVED. Is through PRAYER TO GOD , following Jesus Christ. But be very aware that the devil is everywhere and he disguises himself as an angel of light especially in churches. GOD WILL PROTECT YOU BUT, but YOU HAVE TO PERSUE GOD. You have a free will God or satan. Choose God it’s our. 🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳ONLY 🇨🇭🇨🇭🇨🇭 ONLY hope. Soon I will be telling the world what God did for me so I can save others from the evil. I’m sincerely with you. I and millions of others are fighting this evil too and we will show the way out. God bless you always.♥️♥️♥️ from NZ.
OMGGGG I needed this video so badly I’ve been a mess the past few days . Still trying to heal but am not healing as fast as I want I keep telling myself that I can’t expect to heal overnight when I was married 25 yrs to the narc Thank u so much for this video!!!
So glad it has helped you 😍 healing is a lifelong progress but you will have done so much already! Go easy on yourself, I always say we need to slow down to speed up at times so just listen to your body. Let me know when you're ready to take the next step on your healing journey as I have some programmes that may be of interest to you x
The voice im telling myself now is this is good. I'm okay not feeling okay. I know this is temporary. Everything is okay. Life is good. And if not it's okay to pretend life is okay for now. Soon pretending becomes the main way of being! Yaaay healing is fun!!!!❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
Yes! Also when I let my body rest on those days I feel like it's so much easier to do things when that feeling is gone. I'm still overwhelmed, but if I give myself time to just sit without the internal criticism then it actually helps productivity later on. ❤
Thank you very much. I did absolutely nothing today except sit down. I have two dogs and no walks today I’m just too tired for anything. Lovely lady I have subbed you !!
I do, but Im also a full time working / stay at home mom. After 3 months full time with the kids and the abuse, this is all I want. Just 24 hours to myself❤
Wow I wanted to do that for wks not days and I just went with it I hated feeling useless finally I just have days like that.the B's we go through unnecessarily!!!!
You're so welcome! Everyone is different & we always continue to heal. I have programmes that will help you on your journey. Let me know if you'd like to know more x
Is it just me or has anyone else gone through the whole sleep for a month phase?? I broke up with my ex almost 7 months ago and this past month all I can do is sleep than I can't sleep at 2Am. It's crazy
My ex would tell me I was lazy and I was sleeping my life away because he was so chaotic and only needed 5 or 6 hrs of sleep and God forbid I wasn't on his sleep schedule, I'd be woken up, stared at wirh disgust and of course I'd be anxious and knew he was about to either shame me or give me the silent treatment for still being in bed. Rhe amount of panic and stress overtime made me even more tired and fatigued. My mental dialog was exactly this! 'He was right, I am lazy, my existence is worthless" still trying to get past those voices
Been getting in ten hours of sleep every day and night for three days and smoking 95% less weed, not smoking ciggys .drinking or taking pharma.But lots of sleep ahhhh mmmm sleep
I hate it though. I am not a person that ever sits down. Here lately I have been just exhausted and unmotivated. I couldn't understand why I was being so lazy.
1 week post separation I want to get back to working out but my body is so exhausted besides working and keeping up with myself and my place I just want to lay in my bed
How long could it take to ill? The post separation abuse is worse than what happened in the marriage. Most of it is related to the control and absurd expectations he has of our special needs child. He has his girlfriend and family on board with him. It hurts so much. When it is not that, it is something related to money. I have problems getting out of bed, washing up, looking after the house and everything else. I refuse work often because I can’t handle it. The divorce was final two days ago, ending a 2.5 years separation. I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I just wanna sleep for weeks. Its exactly how I feel
Same! I’m exhausted …
I wake up every morning wanting to be in bed for some more time. My mum tries to push me into morning walk but I simply can't.
Apparently I'm extremely codependent and I have had a lifetime of narcissistic abuse so Now I am a recluse and stay in that state that you described, not just for a few days. It's been years
Me too. Peace
I know what it takes to heal. And it's extremely difficult. if you can still heal and not give up it's a good start. People do NOT Understand so that's why it is a lonely journey.
However whatever can get you through is better than being hopeless.
When You feel the world is on your shoulders. I go in recluse And block it out.
Until I'm ready to get up .
Me too. I feel the same.
Stay away from other narcissists 😟 and go to a homeopath + reiki. They will help you a lot
9 mons After surviving narcissistic abuse in a 5-year marriage, as a man, I've struggled with this. It's been a real fight internally on top of being a full-time single father of 3 little ones under 5. I needed to hear this. Thank you
Keep going. You will be proud of you. Nothing would make you feel better than going through this shirt and getting out of such nasty thing. Keep going. God help you and God Bless you
@@OnTheEDge2011 I appreciate you 🙏🏾
It was a 42 year marriage for me. I'm almost one year out. This helped me, too. Even though I'm a counselor, I needed to hear this. Hang in there, buddy!
This is the hardest thing I've been dealing with on days where I feel okay overall. I'll sit for a while and feel like I'm "wasting time" and just being lazy. My partner rightfully said that, if I'm enjoying the time in which I do nothing, then it wasn't a waste of time at all!
You’re not wasting time though, you need time to just be x
Thank you for validating me in regardsvto this. U have no idea how just today i was called lazy. Ouch. No im not. ❤
Absolutely. This is one of the reasons a lot of people don’t heal from abuse-first they run from the pain, second they don’t allow themselves to just be and feel and reconnect with themselves through the pain.
Very true
Please give your body mind and soul enough time to heal
We all heal 😢
how much time because its been 7 years and I got used to solitude and healing in bed anda yet to become a productive person
Thank you. Healing is hard and lonely. I want to go to university and just progress but the trauma haunts me. He stole everything from me.
My favorite place to be is in my bed! I'm so happy to hear this message that I'm taking healing time. 😊
Post traumatic growth.. I always wanted to reframe this because it helps to get out of a victim state. Thanks a lot. ❤
So glad you found this helpful. Yes always great to reframe to make it a choice (which of course we always do have!) x
Yes I think you can grow from these experiences, so at least that's one good thing you can get out of it. It makes it less depressing
It's been a year and a half, I work and go home and stare at the wall and my phone and I also try to avoid any other interactions which are not obligatory.
I got used to working from home but lost my job in an unfair way. They kind of pushed me into sick leave using my trauma against me. Now looking for another job but the thought of an office makes me so unhappy.
I just want to stay in my safe harbour at home.
I've been in this mood for weeks now 😩
Years me☹️
@@YOU-niterme too. ❤
Same with me 😢
Thank you. Decades of high level abuses. Its draining. Thank you
I needed to hear this, thank you 💕 I have a chronic pain disorder and being broken up with and kicked out of my home by him, truly devastated me. Even when I’m in the most pain I’ve ever experienced, I feel like I have to be up and doing something or like I’m forgetting to do something. I have honestly made the chronic pain worse by avoiding the rest..
I don’t think as many people would avoid it or feel guilty if they haven’t been shamed for relaxing in the past. It’s truly tough to heal when you don’t even feel like your worthy enough to rest your body lol. Always take care of yourself, no matter what it takes ❤
I've been here for a few days. I cannot even talk to people.
Me too!
@@emilywilson7308 I FINALLY have been able to get up. I hope that you are doing well and are still NC with the loser.
I'm right there with you 🙏🏻
thank you for the advise! now I know I am not alone ♥️😪
I can never relax. After a 14 year relationship with a Narcissistic alcoholic & my mother telling me I was a lazy P.O.S if I wasn’t up cleaning something as a child .. trying to just sit still is one of the hardest things for me to do; no matter how exhausted I am 😞
Thank you as I sit here in my comfiest clothes doing nothing because I am healing under the control arguing over correcting cut off when I speak swallowing any knowledge or opinion even when I am ask it’s a wonder I haven’t lost my mind it never stops 😢thank you gir posting this message I can’t believe this happened to a beautiful woman like you I am sorry we didn’t know sooner I am really old ☺️
It costs a LOT of energy to heal and to live with trauma. Everyone needs to rest and replenish or you burn out
Yes for sure. I need much time on my couch and I'm also recovering from fresh heartbreak. The man I dated once texted me and I said I'm relaxing on ky couch. He replied: you're always on the couch😄"
That remark still stings me.
We broke up for another reason bc he would ignore me for days and I felt unimportant so I told him. He said he is emptionally unavailable and that's it.
During days I'm active but evening yes I relax. Have been through extremes incl. rape in my own house a few years ago, moving houses twice, jib loss bc of an supervisor and looking for job.
Going to try EMDR now but I'm scared for a label so i guess i will pay for it myself
I am still healing and I just hope I will work again soon and feel 'normal' and less alone ❤
Best to all of you who struggle and wish you all a powerful happy loving future! Step by step.
I'm having one of those days right now. I'm so stressed that I woke up with vertigo this morning.
This video brought tears to my eyes!! Thank you ❤
I was once so stressed I too woke up with vertigo and dry retching and eventually ended up in hospital . I learnt from that not to allow my thoughts to take me there. It would be a matter of life or death and all my suffering in vain. Thank you. It is so true. I find now that when I go to bed intending to do certain things I can . Then maybe the next day I can’t do anything but rest in bed, usually the next day will be a good one. I keep in mind getting back to how I was pre-abuse. I also listen to pastors talking about Gods help. This is what keeps me going. Joel Osteen is one of my favourites.
@@PatriciaS-t1x Thanks for sharing what gets you through, so important to recognise that x
You're so welcome x
To anyone listening right now I can tell you the Narcissistic abuse from my EX - note the EX part, EX- BROTHER, as of yesterday , whose abuse of our family is and was extreme. They’re all dead , I’m the only survivor. The total abuse of EVERY part of our lives was extreme. I’m in no doubt he is the devil himself. My body was ravaged by cancer and the surgeon’s knife and the ONLY way IVE SURVIVED. Is through PRAYER TO GOD , following Jesus Christ. But be very aware that the devil is everywhere and he disguises himself as an angel of light especially in churches. GOD WILL PROTECT YOU BUT, but YOU HAVE TO PERSUE GOD. You have a free will God or satan. Choose God it’s our. 🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳ONLY 🇨🇭🇨🇭🇨🇭 ONLY hope. Soon I will be telling the world what God did for me so I can save others from the evil. I’m sincerely with you. I and millions of others are fighting this evil too and we will show the way out. God bless you always.♥️♥️♥️ from NZ.
Literally thank you so much I broke down and cried and I think I just really needed this ❤❤❤
You are so welcome x x
You are such a blessing for putting this message out. Thank you sis❤
Thank you. It's very hard but its a good thing. People, just keep going.
This is for Me, I Deserve so Much Better 🙌🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Amen!!!
OMGGGG I needed this video so badly
I’ve been a mess the past few days . Still trying to heal but am not healing as fast as I want
I keep telling myself that I can’t expect to heal overnight when I was married 25 yrs to the narc
Thank u so much for this video!!!
So glad it has helped you 😍 healing is a lifelong progress but you will have done so much already! Go easy on yourself, I always say we need to slow down to speed up at times so just listen to your body. Let me know when you're ready to take the next step on your healing journey as I have some programmes that may be of interest to you x
Thank u.. I've been in bed all day & feeling very guilty 😔 glad I came across this.. how do I save a short, I didn't think I could save these videos??
I’m crying as you speak.
Omg Thank-you so much
I really needed this right now❤
This Lady is so kind and very helpful thankyou
I was laid up for years.
I am seeing light now.
Thank you for making me feel better about myself!
The voice im telling myself now is this is good. I'm okay not feeling okay. I know this is temporary. Everything is okay. Life is good. And if not it's okay to pretend life is okay for now. Soon pretending becomes the main way of being! Yaaay healing is fun!!!!❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉
Absolutely and so ashamed about it.Thank you ❤
Yes! Also when I let my body rest on those days I feel like it's so much easier to do things when that feeling is gone. I'm still overwhelmed, but if I give myself time to just sit without the internal criticism then it actually helps productivity later on. ❤
Thank you for that!!! Helps more than you know!!!!
Thank you very much. I did absolutely nothing today except sit down. I have two dogs and no walks today I’m just too tired for anything.
Lovely lady I have subbed you !!
I SO needed this. Thank you. And thank you for telling me I WILL heal into post traumatic strength.
Im going through this now and I do feel lazy and think I have to get up and train, do something, so thankyou for this message ❤
Thank you for this reminder and encouragement Caroline. xo
Wow this made me cry!!!! Thank ypu soo much!! 4 months Free!
I do, but Im also a full time working / stay at home mom. After 3 months full time with the kids and the abuse, this is all I want. Just 24 hours to myself❤
Caroline, you make me feel the most seen and understood..... this is so real
Thank you today is a day like this🌷✨🙏
That was so good, thank you.
thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ we needed to hear that today.
Oh my God! Thank you. Thank you for this. Today I needed to hear this. This is me today.
Thanks!
🍏'31 Thank you
Thank you, my friend. God bless. 🙏❤️🙏
been playing this on a loop for a little while.. it helps, thank you!
Doing just that right now and I am starting to feel better.
Thanks for this Queen ❤
Thank you kind lady
Thank you 😅❤
Thank you for saying this out loud
Thank you🌟🌟👍😀
That's my everyday.
Thi s is me … and I keep going back to her!
Stop. 🙏
Please do yourself a favor and go no-contact.
❤❤❤today one of those days
Thank you for this video
I have many of these days. Thank you❤❤❤
Thank you. I needed to hear this.
Thank you so much for this
True . Thank you very much .🙏🙏
I needed this today. Thank you!
Thankyou 😘❤️
Extremely helpful thank you ❤😊
Thank you, 🙏🙏🙏🥺🥺
G-d bless you and your kindness!
ABSOLUTELY 😢
Yes i am saving this vedio
Wow I wanted to do that for wks not days and I just went with it I hated feeling useless finally I just have days like that.the B's we go through unnecessarily!!!!
Thank you for the videos. How long should this healing take? I’m feeling exhausted 🥺
You're so welcome! Everyone is different & we always continue to heal. I have programmes that will help you on your journey. Let me know if you'd like to know more x
Thank you so much I’m going through this right now 🙏🔥
I'm so sorry to hear this & so glad I'm able to help in some way. Do you have some other support too? x
Thank you so much! ❤❤
❤ you are amazing thank you ❤🧡💛💚💗💕❤️
THANK YOU!!!❤
Thank you😢❤
Thank you so much
Thank you
Is it just me or has anyone else gone through the whole sleep for a month phase?? I broke up with my ex almost 7 months ago and this past month all I can do is sleep than I can't sleep at 2Am. It's crazy
THANK YOU ❤
You're welcome. It's so important x
So true❤❤❤❤
Thankyou
Every day
Yep
Day 3 for me
Yes I'm currently goin through this 😢😢 I need help
How are you doing now lovely?x
My ex would tell me I was lazy and I was sleeping my life away because he was so chaotic and only needed 5 or 6 hrs of sleep and God forbid I wasn't on his sleep schedule, I'd be woken up, stared at wirh disgust and of course I'd be anxious and knew he was about to either shame me or give me the silent treatment for still being in bed. Rhe amount of panic and stress overtime made me even more tired and fatigued. My mental dialog was exactly this! 'He was right, I am lazy, my existence is worthless" still trying to get past those voices
I hope this video has helped to start to shift a little of the trauma around what happened. Are you getting any support? x
@CarolineStrawsonHealing No I'm trying to cope on my own because money is tight for therapy but all of these videos help a lot 🙏❤️
@@djmandyland So pleased to hear that, thanks for the feedback x
TODAY IS THAT DAY
This is conformation 😁 because I’m healing every day and I refuse to allow my narcissistic to take control
How are you doing now? x
Literally today
I'll reach out to you when I can. I'm not sure when that will be.
Been getting in ten hours of sleep every day and night for three days and smoking 95% less weed, not smoking ciggys .drinking or taking pharma.But lots of sleep ahhhh mmmm sleep
Sleep is so healing!!! 😴
Is there any retreats for Narcissistic abuse in uk?
Yes!! I've done 30 years with my mother + 20 with my ex (and ongoing). I think I've earned the right to stay in bed for the rest of my life 😊
Lol. Fr fr. I heard that
Are psychopaths the only disorder what use violence (hitting as a patern) to get there own way (intimidation) thx
Go no-contact if at all possible.
I hate it though. I am not a person that ever sits down. Here lately I have been just exhausted and unmotivated. I couldn't understand why I was being so lazy.
Sit with your pjs!!
🙏
1 week post separation I want to get back to working out but my body is so exhausted besides working and keeping up with myself and my place I just want to lay in my bed
How long could it take to ill? The post separation abuse is worse than what happened in the marriage. Most of it is related to the control and absurd expectations he has of our special needs child. He has his girlfriend and family on board with him. It hurts so much. When it is not that, it is something related to money. I have problems getting out of bed, washing up, looking after the house and everything else. I refuse work often because I can’t handle it. The divorce was final two days ago, ending a 2.5 years separation. I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
How are you doing now? x