One thing to remember though is that C-PTSD can present with a lot of the same symptoms as ADHD, so it is important to get a proper assessment and discuss any childhood trauma you may have. Getting an accurate diagnosis is very important.
100% - I was diagnosed with both complex trauma and adhd. Not really able to see where one ends and the other begins, especially when it comes to emotional overwhelm, but having the adhd diagnosis has been extremely helpful. I better understand myself and my mom - it’s definitely helped me to be more patient with myself and more self-compassionate. After years of therapy, I finally did the neuro-psych testing. Very much worth it.
I was only diagnosed at 19 (I'm 26 now), but me and my parents had been trying to get me a diagnosis for years before, was a weight off my shoulders when I finally got that diagnosis because it provided an answer to so many questions I'd for a long time about why I experienced things differently to others my age and I felt able to mask less, at least with those I'm familiar with.
I'm a psychologist and do a lot of screening/assessment as part of my work. You're absolutely right that trauma symptoms overlap a lot with ADHD/ASD traits. It can be really hard to differentiate between the diagnoses, but sometimes there is overlap as well! For evaluation in the US, we always recommend being seen for formal evolution by a psychologist, because normally a battery of assessments can differentiate between all of the diagnoses and give you clearer answers.
Hi Louise, I have autism and ADHD and was diagnosed when I was twenty. I think if you haven’t already the first step is to look into the diagnostic criteria and speak to autistic people. It is also interesting to look at other members of your family as it is often genetic. As you mentioned, unfortunately many autism/adhd tiktoks are aimed towards getting as many interactions as possible rather than giving useful information. I was recommended a private psychiatrist by a therapist, and they were able to diagnose me. I believe it can cost around £1000. During the 2-hour assessment, I was required to bring along a family member (usually parent) who was able to answer questions about my development as a child. I hope you are able to find the answers you are looking for, good luck.
Many people have traits of autism or ADHD as they are essentially human traits. It’s the extent to which the traits impact your life and functioning that determine whether they are a diagnosable “disorder” or not. There is also a lot of overlap between ASD / ADHD and the symptoms of CPTSD which people who experience trauma during childhood can have. I would definitely suggest looking at the possibility of CPTSD given the trauma you experienced as a child.
Don't worry about wasting NHS time. Honestly, as someone diagnosed as autistic a week ago, you can't know how much it affects you until you start unpacking it. You're valid and you deserve answers! That said, NHS diagnoses take a notoriously long time (like up to 7 years long) - I went to a place called RTN Mental Health Solutions for my assessment and they were good 🤷🏻♀️
Want to say I’ve been here since before you had Darcy and I’m still here. I love this community because everyone is so lovely and supportive of each other. It’s so sweet
“You’re so high maintenance” you know, I have been living my life based on something you said before. You said “I’m not high maintenance, I just know what I want.” And I absolutely feel freer because of it. So thank you. Oh yeah, I quit my job today. 🎉
I love that. I've been told I'm "too much" or "high maintenance" by ex-boyfriends before, and it was such a blow to my self esteem. I love that quote. I just know what I want and what I deserve. I'm going to use that haha
Hi Louise - So a quick run down of the issues around ADHD diagnosis☺️ First, and luckily!, I wouldn’t think the ADHD warning signs are there for you. I’m glad you are considering the possibility. However having gone through the process myself: it does tend to feel like an emergency when people first notice they are lining up with the symptoms. It tends to present as a crushing, urgent discovery that is intolerable to know of, yet not be able to treat until an official diagnosis. The frustration is huge when dealing with this, due to the nature of the condition itself & it’s life impact - inattentive types included. As a result, a more casually curious feeling towards finding out would be more the exception than the rule here. From the DSM-V, if it hasn’t had an impact over several areas of life, sustained since childhood, it is unlikely there is something the level of neurological disorder at play. It’s a process as emotional as it is expensive, but so worth it for sufferers. I mention this because social media has brought so much awareness- but giving so many this curiosity has caused a much heavier load on even private services that ADHDers now resort to due to increasingly long NHS waiting lists. I’d say since you’re not in a hurry; NHS is a much better route if you still want to enquire. The pandemic and its removal of critical daily structure really kick-started this journey for most, but the aftershock is still overwhelming the routes to treatment ever since. Private services atm, help ‘jump the queue’ of the people who really need urgent care. Private services are also super inclined to diagnose the *vast* majority who pass through, simply for the financial incentive of continued private prescriptions at their chosen rate. This means you will *likely* be given diagnosis & put on medication when it was never needed - Therefore the NHS is more thorough and accurate directly because of zero incentives to provide diagnosis or treatments unless proven otherwise. In the meantime, there’s fantastic resources & online tests if curious about being born with adhd/asd, and it’s something to take with you if you embark on the official process. Hope that is insightful & good luck.☺️
I would disagree with your initial point that because it doesn't seem urgent, she probably doesn't have ADHD/autism. It is clear that Louise has been working on her mental health and creating coping mechanisms alongside a counselor and in doing this she will have found coping mechanisms for any neurodivergent traits if they exist. As she is someone who has complex PTSD, I am sure that various aspects of her life have been significantly impacted and it may not be entirely clear which of these impacts (if any) relate to neurodiversity. So ADHD/autism may have had a significant impact on her, but up until now (as she said), she has assumed this relates to childhood trauma, but this may not be the whole picture. You mention the urgency for diagnosis being related to the need for treatment, but autism does not have any treatment as far as I am aware, and several people choose not to take ADHD medication, so this may not factor in to her decision.
I love a big chatty video. I also cannot believe you and Liam have been together 7 years???!! I’ve been watching the entire time! I’ve also been loving ur TikTok’s!! They’ve been coming up on my fyp alot. As a fan already your videos translate quite well
Hi, Louise. I was diagnosed at 50 (!) with ADHD and later self-diagnosed with a "highly sensitive personality", ie on the asd spectrum. Women are notoriously under-diagnosed because we are more adept at masking the symptoms and difficulties. Being on medication for ADHD has been LIFE-CHANGING. Recognizing and accepting my moderate ASD symptoms was *very* helpful in understanding myself and managing my mental health. Even if your symptoms are mild, get assessed. The symptoms do need to have been present since childhood. What made me aware of this in myself was that all three of my children have adhd and two have asd. But even if Darcy and Pearl don't have either, you still could. I'm a newer subscriber. Your videos are so warm and fun! Also, I too was a dance mum, so those videos bring back warm memories. Thanks again for all the work you put into these.❤
Love the neurodivergent chat! I am almost certain I’m autistic (self-diagnosed) but personally haven’t felt the need to go and get a formal assessment yet, probably partly because I am also a primary school teacher and SENCO and I’ve seen how long the waiting lists are / how so many girls are misdiagnosed because they don’t present like a stereotypical autistic boy! You can pay to get a private diagnosis, in my area we advise parents to get on the long NHS waiting list regardless as some education settings / local authorities etc. don’t recognise private diagnosis, but obviously this wouldn’t be as much of an issue for you as an adult, so I would say just do what feels right for you and what you think will help you to better understand yourself ❤
Thank you for sharing Louise, my daughter is nearly 3 and awaiting an autism diagnosis. Like you, growing up in school I was so used to hearing derogatory terms related to those with mental health struggles so it’s still scary to me to have her out in the big world for fear she will be judged or bullied. But videos like this, talking about it freely and without judgement is what we need. Thankfully these days I think the stigma around mental health is getting better and hopefully we can all be our true authentic selves in a nicer world.
As someone who was diagnosed at 28 with autism and ADHD it can be a long process to get a diagnosis, especially when you’ve put a lot in place to manage life and symptoms because life requires you to push through. Good luck with everything ❤
Love your chatty videos! You speak so well and are so comforting to listen to! Your “Hope” video from back in the day still always brings me hope! Please make more videos like this & that! ❤️
I'm certain I have C-PTSD from severe childhood trauma, but the NHS denied me a diagnosis. Since I've dealt with depression and anxiety for years, and I'm neurodivergent (dyslexic), my GP suggested screening for Autism through Right to Choose. So now I'm pursuing that route! It was funny/relatable when you said, “this isn't really negatively impacting my life” after mentioning being in therapy for years and the “quirks.” Keep seeking answers, Louise. You've always done so, and shouldn't stop now.
I'm a trainee counsellor and the more I learn about neurodiversity the more I see it in myself. It's hard to know when it's just normal for you, you know? I wish you all the best in exploring this and getting answers for yourself x
I hope you get answers soon Louise. I do worry about people self diagnosing themselves after seeing videos on tik tok - I love tik tok but I know there’s so much mis information on there (don’t know if you have seen Davina McCall’s recent documentary on the pill but that highlighted just how dangerous misinformation on social media could be.) I think a lot of these private companies popping up are taking advantage of people and I would recommend going via your gp. You pay your taxes like everyone else and have just as much of a right to a diagnosis as someone with any other condition. Ps I’m so excited at the prospect of another louse live! ❤
I got my ADHD diagnosis 8 months ago at the age of 31. Women are so easily missed and overlooked when it comes to neurodivergence because we experience it so differently. I was exactly like you Louise! Knew I was a “bit different” but couldn’t really tell how. Then my sister received an ADHD diagnosis and told me all the symptoms that she experienced and I clicked with that immediately. So, I went and go myself tested and it turns out that I have it too. It’s given me so many answers as to why I am, like I am. It’s just another part of me now ☺️
Hi Louise. Long comment but hopefully helpful re ADHD/ASD: I totally get you not thinking you relate to autism at first, I always associated ASD with having a severe learning disability. But at aged 19 I was diagnosed with ADHD and at 22 I was diagnosed with autism. It's SO under diagnosed in women. I was diagnosed a few years ago now (I'm 26) before it got as big online but my friend was diagnosed with ADHD within the last two years and was 36. I also have other friends waiting for an ADHD diagnosis ages 27 and 35 off the back of things they saw on TikTok. You don't have to go down the NHS route, and it wouldn't be an "emergency" anyway, waiting lists are long (about two years in my area). There's also a "right to choose" scheme with psychiatry UK where if you do go down the NHS route you can access shorter waiting lists by choosing which services you access. I must admit I was diagnosed at university and my other friends have gone down the NHS route but your GP might be able to point you in the direction of private options, as well as ask you some screening questions which would help you to determine if it was worthwhile. What I would ask you is what are you hoping to get from receiving a diagnosis? Largely much of the benefit you'd get at this point from an autism diagnosis is adjustments at work (which likely isn't so relevant to you) and possibly most importantly some answers so that you understand yourself better. With ADHD there are medications. There are some therapies that can help manage some of the difficulties associated with both, these tend not to be easily accessible on the NHS but I know you've accessed private counselling before. If you do go down this route make sure they're properly registered (check sites like BABCP and BACP). I'd also urge you to think about how you'd feel if your assessment doesn't lead to a diagnosis. Often people find they pin their hopes on being able to explain their experiences on a label and aren't ready for it when that outcome doesn't happen. What I will say is that people do still have complex feelings about neurodivergence and even if you know the stereotypes are just stereotypes loved ones around you may not and that can be hurtful. But you can be a well-liked human and successful human with a neurodevelopmental condition. Interestingly all of the people I've mentioned work in psychology, myself and my undiagnosed friends are therapists, and my other diagnosed fried is a psychology lecturer. We can be empathetic and form good rapport with others, and we can manage "successful" careers despite it. In fact, I genuinely believe it helps me in my own career and I've become a "champion" for things relating to ADHD and Autism within my service.
I was diagnosed with autism in January, a month after my 23rd birthday. It's been a challenging and enlightening journey and I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I'm not stupid or lazy, I actually have a condition that makes certain things more difficult for me. I'm slowly, very slowly trying to get out of the cycle of gaslighting myself into feeling bad when I can't do things and it's a difficult cycle to get out of. I 100% recommend going through the process of getting an assessment because it is life changing. Good luck on your journey with this, we're all here for you ❤
I have ADHD and for the first almost 10 years I was in denial that I had it because I thought "well everyone has some of this" or that I was "normal" but now I understand it a lot more. I think the difference with ADHD is that everyone has some of the symptoms in some capacity, the difference with neurodivergence brains is that the symptoms are debilitating. One of my symptoms is racing thoughts and I'm a lot more aware of that happening and how much of my day I spend doing that, and the extreme way it holds me back from a lot of fun life things. I do think understanding what symptoms you might have and if the impact to your life is significant can help you learn to cope. ADHD can also very over diagnosed because most people have mild versions of the symptoms so just be honest with yourself and your doctor when you are looking for a diagnosis and for coping skills. Good luck! ❤
I was diagnosed with autism age 22 during a mental health crisis and ADHD privately at age 24. I think that autism and ADHD can present online in very relatable ways which can lead to people saying things like ‘we are all a bit autistic’ etc. I think to know if you might be either you need to talk directly to people with these conditions. I knew I am autistic before I was diagnosed due to having an autistic brother who has more stereotypical male traits. Although I am proud to be neurodivergent, I do see my autism and ADHD as disabilities as they have always been challenging for me and they are still difficult despite being diagnosed. The challenges will not be accurately portrayed online, or as frequently as the positives. I suggest talking directly to neurodivergent people as well as your GP.
I'm a golden oldie, since the pandemic, I have started a relationship(the week before lockdown) had an increase in panic attacks, moved in with my partner and now I have a 4 month old baby boy. He is the light of my life ❤❤. A lot of changes. Your pregnancy videos and talking about advocating for yourself really stuck with me throughout my pregnancy and I had a wonderful birth experience ( really hated being pregnant) so thank you so so much for all you have shared
Louise - wanted to send you a hug. I always related to you a lot. I just got diagnosed with AuDhd and I’m turning 30 this year. A lot of older research is based on boys, and so a lot of us who are like around my age often didn’t get a diagnosis if we didn’t present exactly as the textbook. My psychiatrist diagnosed me, but even gave me the option to not have an official diagnosis if I preferred, but I needed one for my own sanity. Hopefully this kind of healthcare isn’t crazy expensive in the UK x
Oldie but Goldie here! Thank you Louise for sharing some of your life with us. I love these chatty videos, I have a cup of tea while I watch & it feels like catching up with an old friend. 💜
Louise!! I nearly cried when you started talking about adhd 😅 I'm on (the INCREDIBLY long) nhs waiting list to be assessed for adhd at age 26 after being the "invisible sibling" as my brother has severe autism. I've noticed a lot of youtubers/influencers I watch are now talking about being neurodivergent- now you're possibly part of the club too! Welcome!💜💜
Hey Louise! I know the exact feeling of “neurodivergent imposter syndrome” and what really got me through it before my assessments was to lean into this thought experiment: I have adhd and I’m autistic, what questions does it answer and what issues does it validate. This really helped me make peace with the idea, and then it made it clear what issues I had suppressed or passed off as “everybody struggles with that.” It also makes it much easier when you have the assessments if you feel like your experience still has a overlap with adhd/asd. And if you end up not having you know what sensitivities you have to accommodate to have an even better life.💛 It has really, to the core of my being, helped and healed me. It’s a process, as you know, and it’s worth every tear no matter the outcome. Best wishes 🌸
Thank you for opening up, Louise! It's not easy to talk about mental health ❤️ I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD after thinking I had autism/ADHD (reason I didnt think I was traumatised is part of the reason I have C-PTSD lol XD). It's so so important to find out what it is, especially as you can have both! And knowing who you are and what your needs are is vital to being able to take care of yourself and for your loved ones to understand and take care of you too. I don't live in the UK or I would be able to help you figure out where to turn for diagnoses and help. Good luck Louise and thanks again for sharing! It's also very reassuring to me seeing one of my favourite comfort youtubers being open about childhood trauma. Makes me not feel so alone ❤️❤️
I’m 34 and have am going through formal testing for adhd. I also went through childhood trauma and so it was hard for me to come to terms with it too. My first step (after talking it through to trusted people) was going to my GP and asking for a referral to a specialist. So I’ve had my first appointment and it’s been expensive but totally worth it. If it was for my kids I’d do it no questions asked so i had to parent my inner child and get the ball rolling. I’m so proud of myself for taking these steps to better myself. And yes it looks like I have inattentive adhd and as a side I also have cptsd so it’s all complex but all so worth while sorting out! 😅❤❤
Hi Louise, the timing of this video was a little scary! I'm 31 and have recently began to question whether I am on the autism spectrum. I have always put a lot of my behaviours down to an anxiety disorder, but have recently realised I align with a lot of the diagnostic criteria for ASD. At this stage I have decided I don't feel the need for an assessment or formal diagnosis as I am happy with where I am at in life and don't think I need a label, nor do I think that will change much at this point. But it has been interesting to hear your story and read all of the comments with similar stories!
Thank you so much for sharing this with us Louise!! My son has autism and since having him and learning about how he operates I am also learning so much about myself and my own sensory sensitivities and neurodivergence. I was also inspired partly by Tiktok to ask my counselor about these things I experience 😂 I always thought it stemmed from my childhood trauma/PTSD as well but it’s much more than that and now I feel I can accept myself as a person instead of just accepting what I’ve gone through.
Something I’ve learned recently is that symptoms of C-PTSD can sometimes present very similarly to autistic traits, so that may be worth looking into as well. I’m on a similar sort of journey of understanding my own mental health, so I wish you the absolute best of luck in finding a professional that you can comfortably work with and figure out what’s going on. ❤️
@@powderandpaint14 Yup! The system is absolutely ridiculous - I was flat out rejected for a referral from the mental health team because I'm not currently actively suc*dal (despite having a history of having these feelings most of my life). GP said, why not get an autism assessment as it's similar to C-PTSD so could be that?!
@@emilyjade_4 oh for goodness sake. Your GP is obviously clueless. If you go to the autism assessment you'll probably have to say to the person (who should be qualified in psychology) that you were trying to get assessed for C-PTSD and see if they can help with that.
I think its important to note Louise that if you don’t find that your traits do impact your life a lot, then you'd be unlikely to get a diagnosis - they look for life long, constant and impactful as three of the main ways traits impact you for both ADHD and Autism!
That's really interesting, thank you so much. I don't really know how much things do or don't impact me because I'm just used to my own brain and I've always thought it was 'normal'. It's only since seeing all these videos and so many people asking me that I've questioned things xxx
@@hannahwilliams5394 Not all private diagnoses are accepted by the NHS due to them not being of a high standard, depending on the assessment tools used.
I would recommend going private over the NHS especially as an adult and a female - so much of the research is outdated and written to fit one subtype of a white male child with particular functioning needs (who are completely valid themselves too ofc!) and the NHS misses so many of us who don’t fit that brief
I really appreciate you speaking out about this Louise, I'm currently at the very beginning of seeking an assessment for Autism and ADHD and have always felt broken, seeing people like you be open about these things means the world.
Louise! I am a long time watcher (since I was 15 - I am 26 now!) and am AuDHD myself (late diagnosed). I have thought this about you for the longest time!!! I agree with what everyone is saying about C-PTSD (I also have that diagnosis - you can have both!), however I just wanted to give you some validation here that I see you
Yay! Welcome! I’m so glad you’re saying this. I was ADHD diagnosed last February (at 40) and completely relate to everything you’ve said. Do some self diagnostics and do chat to your GP. Ask them which clinic they would use for an NHS assessment and then approach them privately. Good luck!
I love this chat so much! Almost qualified psych here. I don’t know much about the UK system, I’m in Australia, but it’s extremely common for women to be diagnosed later in life because, as you said, when people think of ADHD and ASD, they generally think of hyperactivity. Whereas for females it’s more common for them to appear more quiet and reserved, but their brains are still going 100 m/hr and can hyper focus on things a little too easily. If you are after a diagnosis, the best thing to do to start is to keep note of all the things that you have mentioned and how often it happens to relay to someone when you are ready. That way you won’t be missing anything if you are having a busy brain day when you see them and they will be able to make a better judgment when it comes to diagnosis. Also, I always love seeing a new Louise video pop up. I’ve been watching since before baby glitter was born and it feels like sitting down and chatting with a good friend 😊
Thank you so much for sharing all of this Louise- it was so interesting to listen to. I’m a late-ish discovered neurodivergent (diagnosed autistic, awaiting adhd dx) so thought I would share a few thoughts 1) I have thought that of you too before :) it makes me happy to see you considering it now because I know how pivotal this discovery could be in your healing journey 2) it’s quite a journey with identity- it’s been completely transformative for me to discover this stuff about myself- my sense of self worth has grown hugely and I now feel like im different but not in a bad way, and im learning how to best manage struggles (so important for this as easy to mismanage eg treating for depression when it’s audhd burnout etc) it’s helped me to remember that I’m Lucy who happens to be autistic & adhd, not AuDHD Lucy… I’m lots more things, I still have a a personality that’s influenced by lots of different experiences. Almost like it’s one lens through which I view the world, but we view it through lots of lenses! 3) was also vital for me processing my own trauma. particularly re sensory and social differences- directly influenced how I experienced the trauma 4) I went to psychiatry UK and had an assessment with Harley street psychiatrists over Skype (incl lots of questionnaires before, one which a parent did) 5) social media is a lot. Increasingly overwhelming and “content creationy”- I used to make some content @creative_activism_ on Instagram. There’s some decent stuff on there in concise topics, which I’m kind of proud of. 6) all the best as you navigate- take your time. Ps it’s v accepted in tbe community to self identify (access reasons + more). Diagnosis can also be viewed as a barrier to some things by some so something to weigh up. 7) key things to learn about from fellow neurodivergents which helped me wellbeing so much - preventing burnout, unique autistic social battery + understanding sensory needs🩵) xxx
I'm 34 and got my ADHD diagnosis 7 weeks ago. It's been a huge relief and so validating. Growing up in the 90s in Norway, only very active boys were diagnosed (and most of them have since lost the diagnose, they were in fact, just active and excited young boys) and I was a quiet girl trying to fit it. I was fine until starting uni, and then it got even worse after having my second child 7 years ago. I went back to uni at 30, struggling and barely taking any exams, and I have just felt so incredibly dumb. Really feeling like I'm doing everything I can, and it's never good enough. My journey started on TT as well, and just like you, thinking they were exaggerating, but I brought it up to my therapist anyway. And since then, A LOT has fallen into place, and I feel really good about it. I know now there's nothing wrong with me, my brain is just different and the world we live in wasn't designed for me, so I just need to do some thing differently. I think I might be on the autism spectrum as well, but as of now I don't feel a need to pursue it, I am who I am, and for the first time, that feels ok.
Hi thanks for sharing all your thoughts today. I will say diagnosis is complex and often things can be explained by ocd (your window story thought process is similar to this). High anxiety can also cause mental rules too and both can seem like a small part of autism traits. It's all about where the symptoms happen and how they present and the feelings alongside them which is why talking and hearing others stories is very helpful. There are a couple women who i would recommend if you are interested who are both Mums between late 20s and mid 30s and may help you relate or not relate. In the UK , we have psychiatryuk, which is a faster way for diagnosis (about 8 months' wait atm). Grief is a masisve thing that causes long-term, specifically scatter brain like symptoms and burnout too which you already say could have been a factor. The defining factor is *when* symptoms really appeared as a neurodivergent person will be able to find quite clear differences and or discomforts (at a higher intensity than their peers) from early childhood. Really wish you luck, please don't get too wrapped up in the excitement of diagnosis and perhaps listen to a few indepth stories on a few different things that could be relevant to you and some resources thatn can at least assist your traits and symptoms. Much love to you and your family Louise 💗 🩷
A really lovely counsellor told me that CPTSD can present with lots of the same symptoms of neurodivergencies and OCD and often you can be misdiagnosed with one or the other. I will say Google Watchdog private ADHD clinics also and be careful if you do choose to go private. If you do not struggle to socially connect or feel like you are not being yourself in social situations that can be a really big part of autism (and sometimes ADHD) this might be worth thinking about x
I’m going through a really tough time at the moment and wanted to say thank you for your videos they are really calming and comforting and helping me a lot xxx
Thank you for speaking on this! Just want to let you know as well that childhood trauma can also present like autism/ADHD. The three of them are kind of like a Venn diagram. Having one diagnosis can also make it more likely for you to have the other two as well. If you're looking for diagnosis it might also be worthwhile finding a trauma informed professional who can ensure you get the most out of it ♥️
You have created such a nice, friendly, and comfortable space on the internet. I watched your videos as a teenager, and I still watch them now 10-ish years later. It's been wonderful watching the topics and style of your videos change and grow with you over the years 🥰
Kia Ora Louise. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at 34 I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, bipolar, psychosis etc been through a lot health wise. I was like you and put my character down to my trauma and experiences. I’m now in a grieving process with this new diagnosis because my lack of executive function in life has affected me achieving most of my dreams and it’s sucks. I’m so thankful for your chats and sharing over the years and loved your audio book mum life. It’s helped me shape my view and trauma informed parenting of my 4 1/2 year old. Thank you for all you gift to this world. I’m in between inattentive and hyperactive ADHD but my trauma at 6 onwards definitely knocked me down. I started Ritalin and I was amazed the instant change like glasses for my brain. But it’s not been without hiccups and currently having a break from the drug due to other physical health but looking forward to trying it again. Love how you love your girls and foster their interests. Bless
Newly diagnosed last week at the age of 26! So happy to see someone shedding the light on autistic women and late diagnosis ❤ I also lost my mum and was abused by my step mum (spooky) and always thought I was dealing with trauma. I would really recommend Axia for diagnosis, I had a great experience with them.
Thankyou so much for sharing this Louise and being so honest with us all🙂 I've recently been having very similar conversations with people who have been asking if I've ever considered autism as a possibility. As somebody else who doesn't necessarily show a lot of the more stereotypical characteristics, it's really nice to be able to hear about this topic from your point of view ❤
I work in mental health in the NHS and the current waiting list for an ADHD diagnosis is 5 years. The waiting list for autism is 2-3 years. So I would definitely recommend going elsewhere to get your diagnosis if possible! The fact the waiting lists are so long should hopefully give you some comfort in that you are not alone and it is probably a lot more common than you realise. ❤️
The thing about asd/neurodivergence is that it's a spectrum. Everyone has traits of it to a greater or lesser extent. People are individuals and everyone's brain works differently. If people go through a process and get a diagnosis and it helps them to understand themselves and other people to understand them then that's great. But ultimately having a label doesnt change anything unless you want it to.
Hi louise, Ive been watching you since i was 11 and now im in my second year of university!! I adore ur content and your videos give me such a warm feeling, dont be afraid to seek diagnosis even if you dont get diagnosed u might learn something new about yourself ❤
Hi Louise, I'm very much an oldie but goldie! I realised last year (aged 31) that my quirks and anxieties could actually be related under the umbrella of autism. I wasn't too bothered about getting a diagnosis but my boss (who was lovely) explained that if I did get one then he could make some changes at work to make things a bit easier for me. So I contacted my GP who gave me a form to complete detailing the symptoms I think I have which could be autism. I found it really confronting and a bit upsetting writing it down but eventually I completed it and gave it back to my GP. They wrote back and said they agreed I could have autism so referred me to the specialist team in my area. I then received a letter from them explaining that it could be some time until I'm invited for an assessment as they're dealing with referrals from 2018!! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry x
I hope you're refer ally doesn't take that long! I waited about...4 months for my referral and it was a very supportive experience (for a change). Fingers crossed for you.
I’m an American and waiting for years to see a specialist is so crazy to me. Is that typical? What if you have a serious health concern that requires prompt attention? Do you still have to wait ages? How are issues like cancer handled? Do those patients get to see doctors quickly? Just curious. I hope you are able to get the care and attention you need sooner rather than later.
I’m 32 and I recently went to the GP to ask for an autism assessment, again mostly thanks to the TikTok algorithm that apparently knows me better than I know myself! It’s been so eye opening to look back at my life and be able to explain why certain things have happened or why I’ve acted in certain ways. Definitely worth looking into, I also have some childhood and adult trauma and I think my autism made me more vulnerable to it in some ways. Thank you for speaking about it!
Lovely to hear you talk so sensitively about neurodivergence, I was diagnosed at 23 with ADHD, the inattentive one, and every week I'm still learning new things, I hope this discovery journey helps you live life a bit more easily and manageable. It's really great to hear you speak out about it and would love to see you do a full video! It's so difficult sometimes to transfer your thoughts to actually talking about it and I think you did great here! ❤
Sweet girl. You are so refreshing, and so irreplaceable!! Never negate what is going on in your backyard just because your house isn’t on fire. Your mental health is no less than someone else’s “physical” deficit. You are still stuck on that stigma. Go get that help, go be evaluated and diagnosed (if that is the case!) Good luck! No matter what, remember how perfect you already are. So much love!! ❤
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and I wanted to touch on the preference versus neurodivergent. A key point doctors will look for to give a diagnosis is the level your life is impacted. For example: many people run late. But most people don't get so lost in time that they miss important meetings and it impacts their work. Many people have difficulty doing boring tasks. But most people don't avoid boring tasks for so long it makes them late to file for taxes or they miss signing up for health insurance. So like everything in life, it's a spectrum and a doctor is really key to helping sort out what is in the realm of normal and what's not. When I got diagnosed, my doctor literally said to me "How have you not been diagnosed before? How have you been successful?" My only response was, "Through extreme effort at my own expense." Getting diagnosed was the best thing ever, because now I understand myself.
Hi Louise, i am a teenager (F), and got diagnosed as autistic in April. I was on the NHS waiting list for about 4 years, and when our referral had a technical issue that couldn't be resolved for another year, the SENCo people at my collage recommended that I look into a local private diagnosis. We went ahead (£1000 later 😔) and I was officially diagnosed. My parent came with me, and they were asked questions by one of the screeners while I was taken upstairs do do my own assessment. For adults, you would do both yourself though. I don't talk in places outside my own home and tend to "look autistic" by peoples stereotypes, especially when overwhelmed, so if you do look into doing it privately (ideally after more research e.g. diagnostic criteria, similarly-presenting conditions etc.) then I would try and find one which doesn't work off the stereotypes of young autistic boys, and actually listens to you and analyses your situation.
I remember watching you when I was 11, you were such a big comfort and when I came back from school I remember watching your videos and always waiting for the next one. I'm 20 now and in uni and it feels so nostalgic to watch your videos, it gives me so much comfort since you radiate such a warm and friendly energy.
I’m the same age as you Louise, I had a lot of the same traits (symptoms) and I was diagnosed with ADHD in May, I’ve been on Elvance ever since and my god, the difference is unbelievable. Symptoms I didn’t even realise that where holding me back have been lessened and I can actually function so much better, I don’t have to try so hard and then end up burnt out. I would recommend getting the DIVA5 assessment, this will help you know whether you do meet the criteria for ADHD, then you can book to see a psychologist who can diagnose you (that’s how I did it). I’m happy to answer any questions you might have as it’s very fresh for me. I must say, even the relief of knowing that I have adhd and the way my brain works is normal for that, it’s not just me being deficient, lazy, stupid etc. I do have inattentive ADHD as well, I can hyper focus like crazy for hours or days at a time then I’ll crash and can’t do anything except turn in to a ball of anxiety 😂. Now, so many friends that I have told have said ‘oh yeah I could have told you that you adhd’ lol, I wish they had sooner!! Anyway, the diva5 is the official adhd assessment (Diagnostic Interview for adults with adhd) so it’s a great place to start, whoever does the assessment for you, they can’t diagnose you but they can guide you as to whether you should see a psychologist or not. Right this was a ramble, no surprise, but if you need a bit of insight in to the diagnosis process for our age group, I’m happy to help!
You have no idea how much I needed to hear that about your counselling. I keep getting things pop up and sometimes it’s the same re-occurring thing. My counselling is really helping me learn to deal with it each time but I do sometimes feel I need a break to let my brain figure itself out. I can’t tell you how good it feels to hear someone else speak about it!
Oh Louise. I knew there was a reason you felt so relatable to me. I’m undiagnosed, but will be seeking an autism diagnosis at the end of the year. (Insurance in the US - just a hoot and a half, I tell ya.) I’m 32, and literally just started connecting all the pins with red yarn last winter. My advice is to start providing yourself with some accommodations and see if it helps you. I bought myself some Loops ear plugs (transformational, honestly), and not scheduling big outings two weekends in a row so I have time to decompress and regulate (for me, a big outing is literally meeting my parents for dinner). And I’ve found that allowing myself those types of small things that I can control and accommodate without a formal diagnosis has already been so beneficial.
I loved this video! I'm currently on the Autism/ADHD assessment route for my 9 year old daughter and I'm certain that I have ADHD, Tiktok videos and reels have been relatable to me too
I’ve self diagnosed myself within the last could years with AuDHD because of TikTok! I always knew I was ‘weird’ but now that I know what make me the way I am it has helped so so much with coping and just living. Also I won’t get clinically diagnosed because of the stigma and also some countries won’t let you live there if your Autistic. And with the current climate here in the states I want to keep my options open!! I love you and am so happy you shared this with us!!! It takes one to know one so don’t be surprised if you start noticing others in your life that have your ‘characteristics’
Hi, great that you've felt able to talk about autism/ADHD publicly, it's a big deal so well done! With ADHD in particular I'd agree there's a lot of TikTok content that's very relatable, I find it myself and I don't have ADHD. If you're not going NHS and decide to go private, be wary of the length and depth of ADHD assessments from private clinics aimed specifically at ADHD. They aren't necessarily as thorough as NHS appointments apparently (there's a Panorama episode for more info on that). Maybe asking the GP for options that aren't NHS would be a good start? Good luck! Xx
I just had investigative surgery and found out what was making my life so difficult - I'm healing well and loving my new life (feeling the difference even with healing stitches and movement limitations)! I've also been given some answers about fertility thanks to the findings, and I feel like I'm finally able to let my life run its course, rather than squeeze into the cookie-cutter life I was forcing myself to have because of all the unresolved questions. Soo so happy to see the sparkle in your eye, Louise. The rest of 2023 better watch out!!
Omg Louise this makes me so happy!! I’ve been watching you since I was 13 and I’m turning 22 in August. I was diagnosed with Autism when I was 18 and ADHD when I was 20 after having NO IDEA about it for my whole life. I’m SO glad this is getting talked about more often now, especially by creators that I’ve grown up with and met as I was growing up too. THANK YOU for sharing this part of you with us, it makes me love you even more!!! 💖
as an audhd person who watched and loved your videos when i was 10/11, i can honestly say this is so healing and special! good luck on your journey and i hope you can discover even more understanding, clarity and self-love and validation
As a 24 y/o who's recently started my own mental health and diagnostic journey, I wish you all the best Louise! I am not located in the UK so I can't say where to start but looking outside of tiktok would definitely be the first step! I don't have tiktok myself but I can imagine it as you say, some things are just made to be relatable for wider audiences. Find a professional you're comfortable with and who's up-to-date knowledgeable in neurodivergencies as well as trauma. The journey can be exhausting at times but I've found so much comfort in the autistic/neurodivergent community. I think it's perfectly valid to look into it, not because of an emergency, but just because you want to. Best of luck! Sincerely, long time neurodivergent watcher.
I really recommend The Adult Autism Practice in the UK and Ireland if you're exploring assessment. They do full assessments but also consultation sessions to talk things through and see if assessment is right for you. I was assessed by them and diagnosed with Autism last year (aged 27 and as a high-masking woman) and had a really positive experience. I also highly, highly recommend the book 'Unmasking Autism' by Dr Devon Price which takes a deep look at the experience of masked Autism. The audiobook is great, too, and listening/reading that might illuminate some stuff for you. But one thing I would say is that assessment isn't nearly as important as your own self evaluation. I suspected I was Autistic for three or four years before seeking assessment and honestly the self knowledge changed my whole life for the better. So allow yourself the space to introspect and decide for yourself a little, too.
Wow! I really appreciate you talking about this and it's been so lovely to go on a journey with you! I love you seeing more relaxed and can't wait to see where life will take you!
First time commenting😊 In regards to the ADHD/Autism chat, I relate to this! I always put it down to my childhood trauma as well but for about two years have been really thinking I’m on the spectrum. Family/friends say I don’t have it which is discouraging as they just push me aside. I’m hoping soon to look into getting a diagnosis. Thank you for this video and I hope you have a great week ❤
I didn't actually realise that my quirks were traits of inattentive ADHD until I started teaching. Experience teaches you what to lookout for in children and they were very close to home. I went through the NHS for my diagnosis, because it was meddling with my mental health and I think (like many women) I was misdiagnosed with other mental health problems. They were very good, but it took from start to finish about 2 years for a diagnosis. I was 28 when I was diagnosed. It helps you to understand yourself better and it allows me to be kinder to myself on difficult days.
"I can focus and zone out for hours writing my book." Exactly the ADHD hyperfocus. :) It's so weird learning to know about these thing and gaining a brand new understanding for yourself, isn't it?
PS, I’ve been to a Disney wedding, but it was decades ago… when they first started with the pavilion. I can only imagine how magical they are now. You found your other half. It doesn’t matter if there’s a piece of paper or not. As you preach to us you just do you. When the time is right and the venue speaks to you both, then that’s the time to fold a celebration. You know you are loved, you know the girls know they are loved…. It will all work out when it’s supposed to.
Oh my gosh hearing you talk about this is so relatable. I have childhood trauma to, and found out a couple years ago, that I am a masked autistic, which is generally harder to notice because we teach ourselves how to be social, etc. So excited for you to go on this journey of healing. The other thing to remember is, it doesn’t change who you are, who you are after diagnosis is exactly who you are before, it just gives you new tools to make life easier. Sorry I can’t be of help on where to start. I’m in the US not the UK good luck!
100% understand where you're coming from, Louise. My son was diagnosed 18 months ago and we also suspect my other son is neurodivergent, and having done a LOT of reading, I think I am too! I've just turned 40. But it explains such a lot- I've always felt different, find social occasions anxiety ridden and absolutely exhausting (although no one else seems to notice I'm struggling and would probably say I'm very outgoing), and have always been an absolute people-pleaser - I'm terrified of any confrontation. Anyway, I am at the same point as you- right at the beginning. I'm not sure if I will get a diagnosis- lots of people choose to self-identify as neurodivergent, and that's totally accepted in the ND community ❤️ Anyway, good luck with moving forward and I really hope you feel able to continue talking about this 🙏🏻
This is so interesting - my great friend has just had a similar revelation, and while she doesn’t have a diagnosis, found it so helpful in navigating situations she knows that she will find difficult. I’ve watched your videos since (I think) the Dawn of Time, and I’m thrilled that you seem so happy in your family, work and with potential new health realisations.
Love this chatty style of video, feels like being back in the good old days of RUclips and more comparable to a podcast nowadays! Thank you for being so honest and real when you talk to us! I’ve been trying to figure out a way to talk about my healing journey whilst sharing my actual personality so I really admire how you’ve done this so naturally! 💗
Things that have really helped me through my own ADHD and ASD journey: . Learn to accept and voice your needs . Learn about stimming, and work on accepting your stims without explaining them away to people. . Start a large document on the reasons you think you may have the disabilities (if you don't mind me calling them that). So things like, part of your childhood, sensory issues, need for routine, stims you like etc etc. It's nice to have it all in one document clearly written out. . Ask friends and family about it. . Look at the RADS-R test Good luck Louise!!
I am almost 37 and have been having a very similar process in regards to autism/adhd. Thank you for this video!! Also so lovely to see you enjoying RUclips again. I have loved your videos for ages
I was just diagnosed with ADHD right before my 31st birthday! I feel like I know myself pretty well, but even just putting things in a different perspective has been super eye-opening! I’ve worked with kids with Autism and other challenges since high school and never thought about it for myself until recently, also from seeing TikToks 🤯 hope you get the answers you’re looking for!
Thanks for sharing 💕 You can go to your GP to ask for a diagnosis but the wait times are very long. A family member of mine had a private diagnosis but they can cost up to about £1000. I think a diagnosis can be life changing ❤
Thank you so much for sharing and being part of breaking the stigma. We need to talk about these experiences and embracing mental health. There can be such a negative attitude to adhd and autism.
Loved this video Louise. You are such an amazing person!! ❤ I’ve always been questioned if I have autism or ADHD , as there are many traits I have… my family have always said “what’s the point in being diagnosed, you are amazing no matter what”, I love my family and they’re so supportive but I really wish I was able to find out if I did have any of them! Everything you said I can literally relate to EVERYTHING! Although I do have anxiety but I do overthink everything too😂 I tick all the boxes for both. I think because I am disabled due to illnesses people think there’s no point being diagnosed with even more! But I just want to know why I react the way I do / act the way I do! Sorry for the long paragraph!! ❤
Hello, thank you for chatting about your ADHD etc as I too am in the same boat. Am friend of mine (Psychiatric Nurse) said the same to me about 15+ years ago. I always put my differences down to a mixed race family upbringing, being an only child, then in adulthood being a young mum, carer of a child that passed away at 13 with Juvenile Huntingtons Disease, caring for my daughter who has the same condition. These life things I assumed were what made me, me! I'm now 51 and awaiting hospital appointment for the ADHD/Mental Health team. Kitchen counters, I can handle things on there is tidy, but I struggle with mess/untidy areas eventhough I have a cluttered house which I'm working on sorting for brain peace. Thank you, you have described me as if you know me!
Hi Louise :) I have ADHD with significant autistic traits, I was diagnosed at 26 by an educational psychologist but it wasn't confirmed until my early 30s by a psychiatrist. I will say that if you decide to go the assessment route I would recommend NHS as waiting lists are lengthy (it's not treated as an emergency) and any medication can be hugely expensive privately... affording it might not be a problem, but equally you pay taxes for the NHS so might as well not pay twice if you don't have to! You said it doesn't really impact your life, and that may be true, the impact it has is part of the diagnostic criteria. I would say you've created a life that works for you, and you might find that you have put things in place for yourself that mitigate your difficulties. In terms of how to access assessment, I'd start by looking at diagnostic tools (for autism the Autism Quotient is a good place to start) for ADHD then the website additude has some good online quizzes. After that you can contact your GP and discuss your concerns and ask about local service provisions for adult assessment, or look at the Right To Choose pathways for both ADHD and Autism via Psychiatry UK. Hope this helps :) on a personal note, it's interesting to me that so many of the content creators I love are exploring neurodivergence, wonder of there's something in that!
During lockdown i realised I'm autistic/adhd. I did so so much research. I worked it out as my child is very similar to me but higher needs in some ways. I'm so glad you have discovered your neurodivergence, its so validating! Ive always wondered if you are because i relate to you so much. ❤️
in regards to where to start (adhd/autism diagnosis-wise), talking to other neurodivergent people is definitely one of the best things you can do, as many other people here have mentioned. before my diagnoses i also did a lot of independent research and made lists and notes detailing symptoms that are fairly common for both disorders, which helped to get everything straight in my mind. i was lucky enough to be able to go private with my adhd and autism diagnostic appointments, and for my autism assessment i went with a group called axia who were absolutely fantastic. they offer sort of generic appointments, so you could potentially get diagnosed with both adhd and autism in the same session. it felt as though the appointment was actually tailored to fit autistic people well, and before we sorted out the in-person consultation there were lots of opportunities to talk about any adjustments i might need to make the appointment more comfortable for me. i wish you all the best for this journey, and i hope you get all the answers you’re looking for!!
Hi Louise, I'm on a waiting list to be diagnosed for adhd. I'm 38 too and I have known that I am different for many years and feel like knowing that I mostly likely have adhd, has made me feel better about myself and getting answers is helping me in my life. The best thing to do is go to your gp and ask them to refer you for diagnosis. Also there is a bbc panorama program about adhd diagnosis which I found helpful.
I remember the old days 💕 You mentioned your old house in a recent clip & I smiled because, yeah, I do remember it! I totally understand what you mean about ‘typical’ view of Autism. Our 7yo daughter is very academic, a beautifully presented child, a well rounded little girl. She’s recently been diagnosed and many family members were shocked. One even said ‘but she’s so… normal?!’ So I get what you mean! Also! YES to Louise Live. Please do Liverpool! I loved coming to your recent book signing! xx
One thing to remember though is that C-PTSD can present with a lot of the same symptoms as ADHD, so it is important to get a proper assessment and discuss any childhood trauma you may have. Getting an accurate diagnosis is very important.
100% - I was diagnosed with both complex trauma and adhd. Not really able to see where one ends and the other begins, especially when it comes to emotional overwhelm, but having the adhd diagnosis has been extremely helpful. I better understand myself and my mom - it’s definitely helped me to be more patient with myself and more self-compassionate. After years of therapy, I finally did the neuro-psych testing. Very much worth it.
I really appreciate you speaking out about this, autistic women often go undiagnosed so lovely to hear you talking about this!
It really is ❤
I was only diagnosed at 19 (I'm 26 now), but me and my parents had been trying to get me a diagnosis for years before, was a weight off my shoulders when I finally got that diagnosis because it provided an answer to so many questions I'd for a long time about why I experienced things differently to others my age and I felt able to mask less, at least with those I'm familiar with.
I'm a psychologist and do a lot of screening/assessment as part of my work. You're absolutely right that trauma symptoms overlap a lot with ADHD/ASD traits. It can be really hard to differentiate between the diagnoses, but sometimes there is overlap as well! For evaluation in the US, we always recommend being seen for formal evolution by a psychologist, because normally a battery of assessments can differentiate between all of the diagnoses and give you clearer answers.
Hi Louise, I have autism and ADHD and was diagnosed when I was twenty. I think if you haven’t already the first step is to look into the diagnostic criteria and speak to autistic people. It is also interesting to look at other members of your family as it is often genetic.
As you mentioned, unfortunately many autism/adhd tiktoks are aimed towards getting as many interactions as possible rather than giving useful information.
I was recommended a private psychiatrist by a therapist, and they were able to diagnose me. I believe it can cost around £1000.
During the 2-hour assessment, I was required to bring along a family member (usually parent) who was able to answer questions about my development as a child.
I hope you are able to find the answers you are looking for, good luck.
Many people have traits of autism or ADHD as they are essentially human traits. It’s the extent to which the traits impact your life and functioning that determine whether they are a diagnosable “disorder” or not. There is also a lot of overlap between ASD / ADHD and the symptoms of CPTSD which people who experience trauma during childhood can have. I would definitely suggest looking at the possibility of CPTSD given the trauma you experienced as a child.
Don't worry about wasting NHS time. Honestly, as someone diagnosed as autistic a week ago, you can't know how much it affects you until you start unpacking it. You're valid and you deserve answers! That said, NHS diagnoses take a notoriously long time (like up to 7 years long) - I went to a place called RTN Mental Health Solutions for my assessment and they were good 🤷🏻♀️
Want to say I’ve been here since before you had Darcy and I’m still here. I love this community because everyone is so lovely and supportive of each other. It’s so sweet
“You’re so high maintenance” you know, I have been living my life based on something you said before. You said “I’m not high maintenance, I just know what I want.” And I absolutely feel freer because of it. So thank you.
Oh yeah, I quit my job today. 🎉
I love that. I've been told I'm "too much" or "high maintenance" by ex-boyfriends before, and it was such a blow to my self esteem. I love that quote. I just know what I want and what I deserve. I'm going to use that haha
Hi Louise - So a quick run down of the issues around ADHD diagnosis☺️ First, and luckily!, I wouldn’t think the ADHD warning signs are there for you. I’m glad you are considering the possibility. However having gone through the process myself: it does tend to feel like an emergency when people first notice they are lining up with the symptoms. It tends to present as a crushing, urgent discovery that is intolerable to know of, yet not be able to treat until an official diagnosis. The frustration is huge when dealing with this, due to the nature of the condition itself & it’s life impact - inattentive types included. As a result, a more casually curious feeling towards finding out would be more the exception than the rule here. From the DSM-V, if it hasn’t had an impact over several areas of life, sustained since childhood, it is unlikely there is something the level of neurological disorder at play.
It’s a process as emotional as it is expensive, but so worth it for sufferers.
I mention this because social media has brought so much awareness- but giving so many this curiosity has caused a much heavier load on even private services that ADHDers now resort to due to increasingly long NHS waiting lists.
I’d say since you’re not in a hurry; NHS is a much better route if you still want to enquire. The pandemic and its removal of critical daily structure really kick-started this journey for most, but the aftershock is still overwhelming the routes to treatment ever since. Private services atm, help ‘jump the queue’ of the people who really need urgent care. Private services are also super inclined to diagnose the *vast* majority who pass through, simply for the financial incentive of continued private prescriptions at their chosen rate. This means you will *likely* be given diagnosis & put on medication when it was never needed - Therefore the NHS is more thorough and accurate directly because of zero incentives to provide diagnosis or treatments unless proven otherwise. In the meantime, there’s fantastic resources & online tests if curious about being born with adhd/asd, and it’s something to take with you if you embark on the official process. Hope that is insightful & good luck.☺️
I would disagree with your initial point that because it doesn't seem urgent, she probably doesn't have ADHD/autism. It is clear that Louise has been working on her mental health and creating coping mechanisms alongside a counselor and in doing this she will have found coping mechanisms for any neurodivergent traits if they exist. As she is someone who has complex PTSD, I am sure that various aspects of her life have been significantly impacted and it may not be entirely clear which of these impacts (if any) relate to neurodiversity. So ADHD/autism may have had a significant impact on her, but up until now (as she said), she has assumed this relates to childhood trauma, but this may not be the whole picture. You mention the urgency for diagnosis being related to the need for treatment, but autism does not have any treatment as far as I am aware, and several people choose not to take ADHD medication, so this may not factor in to her decision.
I love a big chatty video. I also cannot believe you and Liam have been together 7 years???!! I’ve been watching the entire time! I’ve also been loving ur TikTok’s!! They’ve been coming up on my fyp alot. As a fan already your videos translate quite well
Thank you Cait, that's really kind of you xxx
Hi, Louise. I was diagnosed at 50 (!) with ADHD and later self-diagnosed with a "highly sensitive personality", ie on the asd spectrum. Women are notoriously under-diagnosed because we are more adept at masking the symptoms and difficulties. Being on medication for ADHD has been LIFE-CHANGING. Recognizing and accepting my moderate ASD symptoms was *very* helpful in understanding myself and managing my mental health. Even if your symptoms are mild, get assessed. The symptoms do need to have been present since childhood.
What made me aware of this in myself was that all three of my children have adhd and two have asd. But even if Darcy and Pearl don't have either, you still could.
I'm a newer subscriber. Your videos are so warm and fun! Also, I too was a dance mum, so those videos bring back warm memories. Thanks again for all the work you put into these.❤
Love the neurodivergent chat! I am almost certain I’m autistic (self-diagnosed) but personally haven’t felt the need to go and get a formal assessment yet, probably partly because I am also a primary school teacher and SENCO and I’ve seen how long the waiting lists are / how so many girls are misdiagnosed because they don’t present like a stereotypical autistic boy! You can pay to get a private diagnosis, in my area we advise parents to get on the long NHS waiting list regardless as some education settings / local authorities etc. don’t recognise private diagnosis, but obviously this wouldn’t be as much of an issue for you as an adult, so I would say just do what feels right for you and what you think will help you to better understand yourself ❤
@@elizabethalban754how would this even work?
Thank you for sharing Louise, my daughter is nearly 3 and awaiting an autism diagnosis. Like you, growing up in school I was so used to hearing derogatory terms related to those with mental health struggles so it’s still scary to me to have her out in the big world for fear she will be judged or bullied. But videos like this, talking about it freely and without judgement is what we need. Thankfully these days I think the stigma around mental health is getting better and hopefully we can all be our true authentic selves in a nicer world.
As someone who was diagnosed at 28 with autism and ADHD it can be a long process to get a diagnosis, especially when you’ve put a lot in place to manage life and symptoms because life requires you to push through. Good luck with everything ❤
Love your chatty videos! You speak so well and are so comforting to listen to! Your “Hope” video from back in the day still always brings me hope! Please make more videos like this & that! ❤️
I'm certain I have C-PTSD from severe childhood trauma, but the NHS denied me a diagnosis. Since I've dealt with depression and anxiety for years, and I'm neurodivergent (dyslexic), my GP suggested screening for Autism through Right to Choose. So now I'm pursuing that route! It was funny/relatable when you said, “this isn't really negatively impacting my life” after mentioning being in therapy for years and the “quirks.” Keep seeking answers, Louise. You've always done so, and shouldn't stop now.
I'm a trainee counsellor and the more I learn about neurodiversity the more I see it in myself. It's hard to know when it's just normal for you, you know? I wish you all the best in exploring this and getting answers for yourself x
I hope you get answers soon Louise. I do worry about people self diagnosing themselves after seeing videos on tik tok - I love tik tok but I know there’s so much mis information on there (don’t know if you have seen Davina McCall’s recent documentary on the pill but that highlighted just how dangerous misinformation on social media could be.) I think a lot of these private companies popping up are taking advantage of people and I would recommend going via your gp. You pay your taxes like everyone else and have just as much of a right to a diagnosis as someone with any other condition. Ps I’m so excited at the prospect of another louse live! ❤
Yes, tiktok needs to be taken with a pinch of salt, it's only very small snippets of things.
I got my ADHD diagnosis 8 months ago at the age of 31. Women are so easily missed and overlooked when it comes to neurodivergence because we experience it so differently. I was exactly like you Louise! Knew I was a “bit different” but couldn’t really tell how. Then my sister received an ADHD diagnosis and told me all the symptoms that she experienced and I clicked with that immediately. So, I went and go myself tested and it turns out that I have it too. It’s given me so many answers as to why I am, like I am. It’s just another part of me now ☺️
Hi Louise. Long comment but hopefully helpful re ADHD/ASD:
I totally get you not thinking you relate to autism at first, I always associated ASD with having a severe learning disability. But at aged 19 I was diagnosed with ADHD and at 22 I was diagnosed with autism. It's SO under diagnosed in women. I was diagnosed a few years ago now (I'm 26) before it got as big online but my friend was diagnosed with ADHD within the last two years and was 36. I also have other friends waiting for an ADHD diagnosis ages 27 and 35 off the back of things they saw on TikTok. You don't have to go down the NHS route, and it wouldn't be an "emergency" anyway, waiting lists are long (about two years in my area). There's also a "right to choose" scheme with psychiatry UK where if you do go down the NHS route you can access shorter waiting lists by choosing which services you access. I must admit I was diagnosed at university and my other friends have gone down the NHS route but your GP might be able to point you in the direction of private options, as well as ask you some screening questions which would help you to determine if it was worthwhile. What I would ask you is what are you hoping to get from receiving a diagnosis? Largely much of the benefit you'd get at this point from an autism diagnosis is adjustments at work (which likely isn't so relevant to you) and possibly most importantly some answers so that you understand yourself better. With ADHD there are medications. There are some therapies that can help manage some of the difficulties associated with both, these tend not to be easily accessible on the NHS but I know you've accessed private counselling before. If you do go down this route make sure they're properly registered (check sites like BABCP and BACP). I'd also urge you to think about how you'd feel if your assessment doesn't lead to a diagnosis. Often people find they pin their hopes on being able to explain their experiences on a label and aren't ready for it when that outcome doesn't happen.
What I will say is that people do still have complex feelings about neurodivergence and even if you know the stereotypes are just stereotypes loved ones around you may not and that can be hurtful. But you can be a well-liked human and successful human with a neurodevelopmental condition. Interestingly all of the people I've mentioned work in psychology, myself and my undiagnosed friends are therapists, and my other diagnosed fried is a psychology lecturer. We can be empathetic and form good rapport with others, and we can manage "successful" careers despite it. In fact, I genuinely believe it helps me in my own career and I've become a "champion" for things relating to ADHD and Autism within my service.
I was diagnosed with autism in January, a month after my 23rd birthday. It's been a challenging and enlightening journey and I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I'm not stupid or lazy, I actually have a condition that makes certain things more difficult for me. I'm slowly, very slowly trying to get out of the cycle of gaslighting myself into feeling bad when I can't do things and it's a difficult cycle to get out of. I 100% recommend going through the process of getting an assessment because it is life changing. Good luck on your journey with this, we're all here for you ❤
I have ADHD and for the first almost 10 years I was in denial that I had it because I thought "well everyone has some of this" or that I was "normal" but now I understand it a lot more. I think the difference with ADHD is that everyone has some of the symptoms in some capacity, the difference with neurodivergence brains is that the symptoms are debilitating. One of my symptoms is racing thoughts and I'm a lot more aware of that happening and how much of my day I spend doing that, and the extreme way it holds me back from a lot of fun life things. I do think understanding what symptoms you might have and if the impact to your life is significant can help you learn to cope. ADHD can also very over diagnosed because most people have mild versions of the symptoms so just be honest with yourself and your doctor when you are looking for a diagnosis and for coping skills. Good luck! ❤
I was diagnosed with autism age 22 during a mental health crisis and ADHD privately at age 24. I think that autism and ADHD can present online in very relatable ways which can lead to people saying things like ‘we are all a bit autistic’ etc. I think to know if you might be either you need to talk directly to people with these conditions. I knew I am autistic before I was diagnosed due to having an autistic brother who has more stereotypical male traits. Although I am proud to be neurodivergent, I do see my autism and ADHD as disabilities as they have always been challenging for me and they are still difficult despite being diagnosed. The challenges will not be accurately portrayed online, or as frequently as the positives. I suggest talking directly to neurodivergent people as well as your GP.
I'm a golden oldie, since the pandemic, I have started a relationship(the week before lockdown) had an increase in panic attacks, moved in with my partner and now I have a 4 month old baby boy. He is the light of my life ❤❤. A lot of changes.
Your pregnancy videos and talking about advocating for yourself really stuck with me throughout my pregnancy and I had a wonderful birth experience ( really hated being pregnant) so thank you so so much for all you have shared
Louise - wanted to send you a hug. I always related to you a lot. I just got diagnosed with AuDhd and I’m turning 30 this year. A lot of older research is based on boys, and so a lot of us who are like around my age often didn’t get a diagnosis if we didn’t present exactly as the textbook.
My psychiatrist diagnosed me, but even gave me the option to not have an official diagnosis if I preferred, but I needed one for my own sanity. Hopefully this kind of healthcare isn’t crazy expensive in the UK x
Oldie but Goldie here! Thank you Louise for sharing some of your life with us. I love these chatty videos, I have a cup of tea while I watch & it feels like catching up with an old friend. 💜
Louise!! I nearly cried when you started talking about adhd 😅 I'm on (the INCREDIBLY long) nhs waiting list to be assessed for adhd at age 26 after being the "invisible sibling" as my brother has severe autism. I've noticed a lot of youtubers/influencers I watch are now talking about being neurodivergent- now you're possibly part of the club too! Welcome!💜💜
Hey Louise! I know the exact feeling of “neurodivergent imposter syndrome” and what really got me through it before my assessments was to lean into this thought experiment: I have adhd and I’m autistic, what questions does it answer and what issues does it validate. This really helped me make peace with the idea, and then it made it clear what issues I had suppressed or passed off as “everybody struggles with that.” It also makes it much easier when you have the assessments if you feel like your experience still has a overlap with adhd/asd. And if you end up not having you know what sensitivities you have to accommodate to have an even better life.💛 It has really, to the core of my being, helped and healed me. It’s a process, as you know, and it’s worth every tear no matter the outcome.
Best wishes 🌸
Thank you for opening up, Louise! It's not easy to talk about mental health ❤️ I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD after thinking I had autism/ADHD (reason I didnt think I was traumatised is part of the reason I have C-PTSD lol XD). It's so so important to find out what it is, especially as you can have both! And knowing who you are and what your needs are is vital to being able to take care of yourself and for your loved ones to understand and take care of you too. I don't live in the UK or I would be able to help you figure out where to turn for diagnoses and help. Good luck Louise and thanks again for sharing! It's also very reassuring to me seeing one of my favourite comfort youtubers being open about childhood trauma. Makes me not feel so alone ❤️❤️
I’m 34 and have am going through formal testing for adhd. I also went through childhood trauma and so it was hard for me to come to terms with it too. My first step (after talking it through to trusted people) was going to my GP and asking for a referral to a specialist. So I’ve had my first appointment and it’s been expensive but totally worth it. If it was for my kids I’d do it no questions asked so i had to parent my inner child and get the ball rolling. I’m so proud of myself for taking these steps to better myself. And yes it looks like I have inattentive adhd and as a side I also have cptsd so it’s all complex but all so worth while sorting out! 😅❤❤
Hi Louise, the timing of this video was a little scary! I'm 31 and have recently began to question whether I am on the autism spectrum. I have always put a lot of my behaviours down to an anxiety disorder, but have recently realised I align with a lot of the diagnostic criteria for ASD. At this stage I have decided I don't feel the need for an assessment or formal diagnosis as I am happy with where I am at in life and don't think I need a label, nor do I think that will change much at this point. But it has been interesting to hear your story and read all of the comments with similar stories!
Hi Louise.
The best way to save the NHS is to use the NHS…if it isn’t urgent and you’re happy to wait then that’s exactly what the NHS needs 😊
Thank you so much for sharing this with us Louise!! My son has autism and since having him and learning about how he operates I am also learning so much about myself and my own sensory sensitivities and neurodivergence. I was also inspired partly by Tiktok to ask my counselor about these things I experience 😂 I always thought it stemmed from my childhood trauma/PTSD as well but it’s much more than that and now I feel I can accept myself as a person instead of just accepting what I’ve gone through.
Something I’ve learned recently is that symptoms of C-PTSD can sometimes present very similarly to autistic traits, so that may be worth looking into as well. I’m on a similar sort of journey of understanding my own mental health, so I wish you the absolute best of luck in finding a professional that you can comfortably work with and figure out what’s going on. ❤️
Yes absolutely.
Absolute nightmare trying to get a diagnosis of C-PTSD on the NHS, my GP has referred me for an autism assessment instead which is very interesting.
@@emilyjade_4 instead?!
@@powderandpaint14 Yup! The system is absolutely ridiculous - I was flat out rejected for a referral from the mental health team because I'm not currently actively suc*dal (despite having a history of having these feelings most of my life). GP said, why not get an autism assessment as it's similar to C-PTSD so could be that?!
@@emilyjade_4 oh for goodness sake. Your GP is obviously clueless. If you go to the autism assessment you'll probably have to say to the person (who should be qualified in psychology) that you were trying to get assessed for C-PTSD and see if they can help with that.
I think its important to note Louise that if you don’t find that your traits do impact your life a lot, then you'd be unlikely to get a diagnosis - they look for life long, constant and impactful as three of the main ways traits impact you for both ADHD and Autism!
That's really interesting, thank you so much. I don't really know how much things do or don't impact me because I'm just used to my own brain and I've always thought it was 'normal'. It's only since seeing all these videos and so many people asking me that I've questioned things xxx
@Louisepentland that's not fully true. It is of the nhs but if you go private you'll get a diagnosis a lot easier. I'm going through this
@@hannahwilliams5394 Not all private diagnoses are accepted by the NHS due to them not being of a high standard, depending on the assessment tools used.
I would recommend going private over the NHS especially as an adult and a female - so much of the research is outdated and written to fit one subtype of a white male child with particular functioning needs (who are completely valid themselves too ofc!) and the NHS misses so many of us who don’t fit that brief
Agreed. Some traits are normal in everyone. The difference for those of us who are neurodivergent is that they prevent us from living a normal life
I really appreciate you speaking out about this Louise, I'm currently at the very beginning of seeking an assessment for Autism and ADHD and have always felt broken, seeing people like you be open about these things means the world.
Louise! I am a long time watcher (since I was 15 - I am 26 now!) and am AuDHD myself (late diagnosed). I have thought this about you for the longest time!!! I agree with what everyone is saying about C-PTSD (I also have that diagnosis - you can have both!), however I just wanted to give you some validation here that I see you
Also I read the description box! :)
Yay! Welcome! I’m so glad you’re saying this. I was ADHD diagnosed last February (at 40) and completely relate to everything you’ve said. Do some self diagnostics and do chat to your GP. Ask them which clinic they would use for an NHS assessment and then approach them privately. Good luck!
I love this chat so much! Almost qualified psych here. I don’t know much about the UK system, I’m in Australia, but it’s extremely common for women to be diagnosed later in life because, as you said, when people think of ADHD and ASD, they generally think of hyperactivity. Whereas for females it’s more common for them to appear more quiet and reserved, but their brains are still going 100 m/hr and can hyper focus on things a little too easily.
If you are after a diagnosis, the best thing to do to start is to keep note of all the things that you have mentioned and how often it happens to relay to someone when you are ready. That way you won’t be missing anything if you are having a busy brain day when you see them and they will be able to make a better judgment when it comes to diagnosis.
Also, I always love seeing a new Louise video pop up. I’ve been watching since before baby glitter was born and it feels like sitting down and chatting with a good friend 😊
I’m so glad you’re enjoying youtube again. I don’t watch content on any other platform so I appreciate you making content for us on here too 🥰
Thank you so much for sharing all of this Louise- it was so interesting to listen to. I’m a late-ish discovered neurodivergent (diagnosed autistic, awaiting adhd dx) so thought I would share a few thoughts
1) I have thought that of you too before :) it makes me happy to see you considering it now because I know how pivotal this discovery could be in your healing journey
2) it’s quite a journey with identity- it’s been completely transformative for me to discover this stuff about myself- my sense of self worth has grown hugely and I now feel like im different but not in a bad way, and im learning how to best manage struggles (so important for this as easy to mismanage eg treating for depression when it’s audhd burnout etc) it’s helped me to remember that I’m Lucy who happens to be autistic & adhd, not AuDHD Lucy… I’m lots more things, I still have a a personality that’s influenced by lots of different experiences. Almost like it’s one lens through which I view the world, but we view it through lots of lenses!
3) was also vital for me processing my own trauma. particularly re sensory and social differences- directly influenced how I experienced the trauma
4) I went to psychiatry UK and had an assessment with Harley street psychiatrists over Skype (incl lots of questionnaires before, one which a parent did)
5) social media is a lot. Increasingly overwhelming and “content creationy”- I used to make some content @creative_activism_ on Instagram. There’s some decent stuff on there in concise topics, which I’m kind of proud of.
6) all the best as you navigate- take your time. Ps it’s v accepted in tbe community to self identify (access reasons + more). Diagnosis can also be viewed as a barrier to some things by some so something to weigh up.
7) key things to learn about from fellow neurodivergents which helped me wellbeing so much - preventing burnout, unique autistic social battery + understanding sensory needs🩵) xxx
I'm 34 and got my ADHD diagnosis 7 weeks ago. It's been a huge relief and so validating. Growing up in the 90s in Norway, only very active boys were diagnosed (and most of them have since lost the diagnose, they were in fact, just active and excited young boys) and I was a quiet girl trying to fit it. I was fine until starting uni, and then it got even worse after having my second child 7 years ago. I went back to uni at 30, struggling and barely taking any exams, and I have just felt so incredibly dumb. Really feeling like I'm doing everything I can, and it's never good enough. My journey started on TT as well, and just like you, thinking they were exaggerating, but I brought it up to my therapist anyway. And since then, A LOT has fallen into place, and I feel really good about it. I know now there's nothing wrong with me, my brain is just different and the world we live in wasn't designed for me, so I just need to do some thing differently. I think I might be on the autism spectrum as well, but as of now I don't feel a need to pursue it, I am who I am, and for the first time, that feels ok.
P.S. LOVE your all pink look in this video. And I hope we get Disney packing videos in October!
Hi thanks for sharing all your thoughts today. I will say diagnosis is complex and often things can be explained by ocd (your window story thought process is similar to this). High anxiety can also cause mental rules too and both can seem like a small part of autism traits. It's all about where the symptoms happen and how they present and the feelings alongside them which is why talking and hearing others stories is very helpful. There are a couple women who i would recommend if you are interested who are both Mums between late 20s and mid 30s and may help you relate or not relate. In the UK , we have psychiatryuk, which is a faster way for diagnosis (about 8 months' wait atm). Grief is a masisve thing that causes long-term, specifically scatter brain like symptoms and burnout too which you already say could have been a factor. The defining factor is *when* symptoms really appeared as a neurodivergent person will be able to find quite clear differences and or discomforts (at a higher intensity than their peers) from early childhood. Really wish you luck, please don't get too wrapped up in the excitement of diagnosis and perhaps listen to a few indepth stories on a few different things that could be relevant to you and some resources thatn can at least assist your traits and symptoms. Much love to you and your family Louise 💗 🩷
A really lovely counsellor told me that CPTSD can present with lots of the same symptoms of neurodivergencies and OCD and often you can be misdiagnosed with one or the other. I will say Google Watchdog private ADHD clinics also and be careful if you do choose to go private. If you do not struggle to socially connect or feel like you are not being yourself in social situations that can be a really big part of autism (and sometimes ADHD) this might be worth thinking about x
I’m going through a really tough time at the moment and wanted to say thank you for your videos they are really calming and comforting and helping me a lot xxx
Thank you for speaking on this! Just want to let you know as well that childhood trauma can also present like autism/ADHD. The three of them are kind of like a Venn diagram. Having one diagnosis can also make it more likely for you to have the other two as well. If you're looking for diagnosis it might also be worthwhile finding a trauma informed professional who can ensure you get the most out of it ♥️
I totally agree with this.
You have created such a nice, friendly, and comfortable space on the internet. I watched your videos as a teenager, and I still watch them now 10-ish years later. It's been wonderful watching the topics and style of your videos change and grow with you over the years 🥰
Kia Ora Louise.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at 34 I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, bipolar, psychosis etc been through a lot health wise. I was like you and put my character down to my trauma and experiences. I’m now in a grieving process with this new diagnosis because my lack of executive function in life has affected me achieving most of my dreams and it’s sucks. I’m so thankful for your chats and sharing over the years and loved your audio book mum life. It’s helped me shape my view and trauma informed parenting of my 4 1/2 year old. Thank you for all you gift to this world.
I’m in between inattentive and hyperactive ADHD but my trauma at 6 onwards definitely knocked me down. I started Ritalin and I was amazed the instant change like glasses for my brain. But it’s not been without hiccups and currently having a break from the drug due to other physical health but looking forward to trying it again. Love how you love your girls and foster their interests. Bless
Newly diagnosed last week at the age of 26! So happy to see someone shedding the light on autistic women and late diagnosis ❤ I also lost my mum and was abused by my step mum (spooky) and always thought I was dealing with trauma. I would really recommend Axia for diagnosis, I had a great experience with them.
Thankyou so much for sharing this Louise and being so honest with us all🙂 I've recently been having very similar conversations with people who have been asking if I've ever considered autism as a possibility. As somebody else who doesn't necessarily show a lot of the more stereotypical characteristics, it's really nice to be able to hear about this topic from your point of view ❤
I work in mental health in the NHS and the current waiting list for an ADHD diagnosis is 5 years. The waiting list for autism is 2-3 years. So I would definitely recommend going elsewhere to get your diagnosis if possible! The fact the waiting lists are so long should hopefully give you some comfort in that you are not alone and it is probably a lot more common than you realise. ❤️
Love a chatty video, thank you for opening up, it helps so much to hear it ❤️
The thing about asd/neurodivergence is that it's a spectrum. Everyone has traits of it to a greater or lesser extent. People are individuals and everyone's brain works differently. If people go through a process and get a diagnosis and it helps them to understand themselves and other people to understand them then that's great. But ultimately having a label doesnt change anything unless you want it to.
Hi louise,
Ive been watching you since i was 11 and now im in my second year of university!! I adore ur content and your videos give me such a warm feeling, dont be afraid to seek diagnosis even if you dont get diagnosed u might learn something new about yourself ❤
Hi Louise, I'm very much an oldie but goldie! I realised last year (aged 31) that my quirks and anxieties could actually be related under the umbrella of autism. I wasn't too bothered about getting a diagnosis but my boss (who was lovely) explained that if I did get one then he could make some changes at work to make things a bit easier for me. So I contacted my GP who gave me a form to complete detailing the symptoms I think I have which could be autism. I found it really confronting and a bit upsetting writing it down but eventually I completed it and gave it back to my GP. They wrote back and said they agreed I could have autism so referred me to the specialist team in my area. I then received a letter from them explaining that it could be some time until I'm invited for an assessment as they're dealing with referrals from 2018!! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry x
I hope you're refer ally doesn't take that long! I waited about...4 months for my referral and it was a very supportive experience (for a change). Fingers crossed for you.
I’m an American and waiting for years to see a specialist is so crazy to me. Is that typical? What if you have a serious health concern that requires prompt attention? Do you still have to wait ages? How are issues like cancer handled? Do those patients get to see doctors quickly? Just curious. I hope you are able to get the care and attention you need sooner rather than later.
I’m 32 and I recently went to the GP to ask for an autism assessment, again mostly thanks to the TikTok algorithm that apparently knows me better than I know myself! It’s been so eye opening to look back at my life and be able to explain why certain things have happened or why I’ve acted in certain ways. Definitely worth looking into, I also have some childhood and adult trauma and I think my autism made me more vulnerable to it in some ways. Thank you for speaking about it!
Lovely to hear you talk so sensitively about neurodivergence, I was diagnosed at 23 with ADHD, the inattentive one, and every week I'm still learning new things, I hope this discovery journey helps you live life a bit more easily and manageable. It's really great to hear you speak out about it and would love to see you do a full video! It's so difficult sometimes to transfer your thoughts to actually talking about it and I think you did great here! ❤
Sweet girl. You are so refreshing, and so irreplaceable!! Never negate what is going on in your backyard just because your house isn’t on fire. Your mental health is no less than someone else’s “physical” deficit. You are still stuck on that stigma. Go get that help, go be evaluated and diagnosed (if that is the case!) Good luck! No matter what, remember how perfect you already are. So much love!! ❤
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and I wanted to touch on the preference versus neurodivergent. A key point doctors will look for to give a diagnosis is the level your life is impacted. For example: many people run late. But most people don't get so lost in time that they miss important meetings and it impacts their work. Many people have difficulty doing boring tasks. But most people don't avoid boring tasks for so long it makes them late to file for taxes or they miss signing up for health insurance. So like everything in life, it's a spectrum and a doctor is really key to helping sort out what is in the realm of normal and what's not. When I got diagnosed, my doctor literally said to me "How have you not been diagnosed before? How have you been successful?" My only response was, "Through extreme effort at my own expense." Getting diagnosed was the best thing ever, because now I understand myself.
Hi Louise, i am a teenager (F), and got diagnosed as autistic in April. I was on the NHS waiting list for about 4 years, and when our referral had a technical issue that couldn't be resolved for another year, the SENCo people at my collage recommended that I look into a local private diagnosis. We went ahead (£1000 later 😔) and I was officially diagnosed. My parent came with me, and they were asked questions by one of the screeners while I was taken upstairs do do my own assessment. For adults, you would do both yourself though. I don't talk in places outside my own home and tend to "look autistic" by peoples stereotypes, especially when overwhelmed, so if you do look into doing it privately (ideally after more research e.g. diagnostic criteria, similarly-presenting conditions etc.) then I would try and find one which doesn't work off the stereotypes of young autistic boys, and actually listens to you and analyses your situation.
I actually feel exactly like this and also don't know where to start so I really hope you feel up to sharing your journey with this x
I remember watching you when I was 11, you were such a big comfort and when I came back from school I remember watching your videos and always waiting for the next one. I'm 20 now and in uni and it feels so nostalgic to watch your videos, it gives me so much comfort since you radiate such a warm and friendly energy.
I’m the same age as you Louise, I had a lot of the same traits (symptoms) and I was diagnosed with ADHD in May, I’ve been on Elvance ever since and my god, the difference is unbelievable. Symptoms I didn’t even realise that where holding me back have been lessened and I can actually function so much better, I don’t have to try so hard and then end up burnt out.
I would recommend getting the DIVA5 assessment, this will help you know whether you do meet the criteria for ADHD, then you can book to see a psychologist who can diagnose you (that’s how I did it). I’m happy to answer any questions you might have as it’s very fresh for me.
I must say, even the relief of knowing that I have adhd and the way my brain works is normal for that, it’s not just me being deficient, lazy, stupid etc. I do have inattentive ADHD as well, I can hyper focus like crazy for hours or days at a time then I’ll crash and can’t do anything except turn in to a ball of anxiety 😂. Now, so many friends that I have told have said ‘oh yeah I could have told you that you adhd’ lol, I wish they had sooner!!
Anyway, the diva5 is the official adhd assessment (Diagnostic Interview for adults with adhd) so it’s a great place to start, whoever does the assessment for you, they can’t diagnose you but they can guide you as to whether you should see a psychologist or not. Right this was a ramble, no surprise, but if you need a bit of insight in to the diagnosis process for our age group, I’m happy to help!
You have no idea how much I needed to hear that about your counselling. I keep getting things pop up and sometimes it’s the same re-occurring thing. My counselling is really helping me learn to deal with it each time but I do sometimes feel I need a break to let my brain figure itself out. I can’t tell you how good it feels to hear someone else speak about it!
Oh Louise. I knew there was a reason you felt so relatable to me. I’m undiagnosed, but will be seeking an autism diagnosis at the end of the year. (Insurance in the US - just a hoot and a half, I tell ya.) I’m 32, and literally just started connecting all the pins with red yarn last winter. My advice is to start providing yourself with some accommodations and see if it helps you. I bought myself some Loops ear plugs (transformational, honestly), and not scheduling big outings two weekends in a row so I have time to decompress and regulate (for me, a big outing is literally meeting my parents for dinner). And I’ve found that allowing myself those types of small things that I can control and accommodate without a formal diagnosis has already been so beneficial.
I loved this video! I'm currently on the Autism/ADHD assessment route for my 9 year old daughter and I'm certain that I have ADHD, Tiktok videos and reels have been relatable to me too
I’ve self diagnosed myself within the last could years with AuDHD because of TikTok! I always knew I was ‘weird’ but now that I know what make me the way I am it has helped so so much with coping and just living. Also I won’t get clinically diagnosed because of the stigma and also some countries won’t let you live there if your Autistic. And with the current climate here in the states I want to keep my options open!! I love you and am so happy you shared this with us!!! It takes one to know one so don’t be surprised if you start noticing others in your life that have your ‘characteristics’
Hi, great that you've felt able to talk about autism/ADHD publicly, it's a big deal so well done! With ADHD in particular I'd agree there's a lot of TikTok content that's very relatable, I find it myself and I don't have ADHD. If you're not going NHS and decide to go private, be wary of the length and depth of ADHD assessments from private clinics aimed specifically at ADHD. They aren't necessarily as thorough as NHS appointments apparently (there's a Panorama episode for more info on that). Maybe asking the GP for options that aren't NHS would be a good start? Good luck! Xx
Thank you for your openness and the safe space you provide on the internet to talk about these things and just exist xx
I just had investigative surgery and found out what was making my life so difficult - I'm healing well and loving my new life (feeling the difference even with healing stitches and movement limitations)! I've also been given some answers about fertility thanks to the findings, and I feel like I'm finally able to let my life run its course, rather than squeeze into the cookie-cutter life I was forcing myself to have because of all the unresolved questions.
Soo so happy to see the sparkle in your eye, Louise. The rest of 2023 better watch out!!
Omg Louise this makes me so happy!! I’ve been watching you since I was 13 and I’m turning 22 in August. I was diagnosed with Autism when I was 18 and ADHD when I was 20 after having NO IDEA about it for my whole life. I’m SO glad this is getting talked about more often now, especially by creators that I’ve grown up with and met as I was growing up too. THANK YOU for sharing this part of you with us, it makes me love you even more!!! 💖
as an audhd person who watched and loved your videos when i was 10/11, i can honestly say this is so healing and special! good luck on your journey and i hope you can discover even more understanding, clarity and self-love and validation
As a 24 y/o who's recently started my own mental health and diagnostic journey, I wish you all the best Louise! I am not located in the UK so I can't say where to start but looking outside of tiktok would definitely be the first step! I don't have tiktok myself but I can imagine it as you say, some things are just made to be relatable for wider audiences. Find a professional you're comfortable with and who's up-to-date knowledgeable in neurodivergencies as well as trauma. The journey can be exhausting at times but I've found so much comfort in the autistic/neurodivergent community. I think it's perfectly valid to look into it, not because of an emergency, but just because you want to. Best of luck! Sincerely, long time neurodivergent watcher.
I really recommend The Adult Autism Practice in the UK and Ireland if you're exploring assessment. They do full assessments but also consultation sessions to talk things through and see if assessment is right for you. I was assessed by them and diagnosed with Autism last year (aged 27 and as a high-masking woman) and had a really positive experience. I also highly, highly recommend the book 'Unmasking Autism' by Dr Devon Price which takes a deep look at the experience of masked Autism. The audiobook is great, too, and listening/reading that might illuminate some stuff for you. But one thing I would say is that assessment isn't nearly as important as your own self evaluation. I suspected I was Autistic for three or four years before seeking assessment and honestly the self knowledge changed my whole life for the better. So allow yourself the space to introspect and decide for yourself a little, too.
Wow! I really appreciate you talking about this and it's been so lovely to go on a journey with you! I love you seeing more relaxed and can't wait to see where life will take you!
First time commenting😊
In regards to the ADHD/Autism chat, I relate to this! I always put it down to my childhood trauma as well but for about two years have been really thinking I’m on the spectrum. Family/friends say I don’t have it which is discouraging as they just push me aside. I’m hoping soon to look into getting a diagnosis.
Thank you for this video and I hope you have a great week ❤
I didn't actually realise that my quirks were traits of inattentive ADHD until I started teaching. Experience teaches you what to lookout for in children and they were very close to home. I went through the NHS for my diagnosis, because it was meddling with my mental health and I think (like many women) I was misdiagnosed with other mental health problems. They were very good, but it took from start to finish about 2 years for a diagnosis. I was 28 when I was diagnosed.
It helps you to understand yourself better and it allows me to be kinder to myself on difficult days.
"I can focus and zone out for hours writing my book." Exactly the ADHD hyperfocus. :) It's so weird learning to know about these thing and gaining a brand new understanding for yourself, isn't it?
PS, I’ve been to a Disney wedding, but it was decades ago… when they first started with the pavilion. I can only imagine how magical they are now. You found your other half. It doesn’t matter if there’s a piece of paper or not. As you preach to us you just do you. When the time is right and the venue speaks to you both, then that’s the time to fold a celebration. You know you are loved, you know the girls know they are loved…. It will all work out when it’s supposed to.
Oh my gosh hearing you talk about this is so relatable. I have childhood trauma to, and found out a couple years ago, that I am a masked autistic, which is generally harder to notice because we teach ourselves how to be social, etc. So excited for you to go on this journey of healing. The other thing to remember is, it doesn’t change who you are, who you are after diagnosis is exactly who you are before, it just gives you new tools to make life easier. Sorry I can’t be of help on where to start. I’m in the US not the UK good luck!
100% understand where you're coming from, Louise. My son was diagnosed 18 months ago and we also suspect my other son is neurodivergent, and having done a LOT of reading, I think I am too! I've just turned 40. But it explains such a lot- I've always felt different, find social occasions anxiety ridden and absolutely exhausting (although no one else seems to notice I'm struggling and would probably say I'm very outgoing), and have always been an absolute people-pleaser - I'm terrified of any confrontation. Anyway, I am at the same point as you- right at the beginning. I'm not sure if I will get a diagnosis- lots of people choose to self-identify as neurodivergent, and that's totally accepted in the ND community ❤️ Anyway, good luck with moving forward and I really hope you feel able to continue talking about this 🙏🏻
This is so interesting - my great friend has just had a similar revelation, and while she doesn’t have a diagnosis, found it so helpful in navigating situations she knows that she will find difficult.
I’ve watched your videos since (I think) the Dawn of Time, and I’m thrilled that you seem so happy in your family, work and with potential new health realisations.
Love this chatty style of video, feels like being back in the good old days of RUclips and more comparable to a podcast nowadays! Thank you for being so honest and real when you talk to us! I’ve been trying to figure out a way to talk about my healing journey whilst sharing my actual personality so I really admire how you’ve done this so naturally! 💗
Things that have really helped me through my own ADHD and ASD journey:
. Learn to accept and voice your needs
. Learn about stimming, and work on accepting your stims without explaining them away to people.
. Start a large document on the reasons you think you may have the disabilities (if you don't mind me calling them that). So things like, part of your childhood, sensory issues, need for routine, stims you like etc etc. It's nice to have it all in one document clearly written out.
. Ask friends and family about it.
. Look at the RADS-R test
Good luck Louise!!
I am almost 37 and have been having a very similar process in regards to autism/adhd. Thank you for this video!! Also so lovely to see you enjoying RUclips again. I have loved your videos for ages
Hi Louise! I've recently been getting back into your content, and I just wanted to thank you so much for this video
I was just diagnosed with ADHD right before my 31st birthday! I feel like I know myself pretty well, but even just putting things in a different perspective has been super eye-opening! I’ve worked with kids with Autism and other challenges since high school and never thought about it for myself until recently, also from seeing TikToks 🤯 hope you get the answers you’re looking for!
You are such a special human! Thank you for allowing us in to your life a bit! You are just my favorite! 💕💕💕
I love your videos ♥️ they are so comforting xx
Thanks for sharing 💕
You can go to your GP to ask for a diagnosis but the wait times are very long. A family member of mine had a private diagnosis but they can cost up to about £1000. I think a diagnosis can be life changing ❤
Thank you so much for sharing and being part of breaking the stigma. We need to talk about these experiences and embracing mental health. There can be such a negative attitude to adhd and autism.
Following for so many years and want to thank you for taking us along your journey ❤❤❤
Loved this video Louise. You are such an amazing person!! ❤
I’ve always been questioned if I have autism or ADHD , as there are many traits I have… my family have always said “what’s the point in being diagnosed, you are amazing no matter what”, I love my family and they’re so supportive but I really wish I was able to find out if I did have any of them! Everything you said I can literally relate to EVERYTHING! Although I do have anxiety but I do overthink everything too😂
I tick all the boxes for both.
I think because I am disabled due to illnesses people think there’s no point being diagnosed with even more! But I just want to know why I react the way I do / act the way I do!
Sorry for the long paragraph!! ❤
Hello, thank you for chatting about your ADHD etc as I too am in the same boat. Am friend of mine (Psychiatric Nurse) said the same to me about 15+ years ago. I always put my differences down to a mixed race family upbringing, being an only child, then in adulthood being a young mum, carer of a child that passed away at 13 with Juvenile Huntingtons Disease, caring for my daughter who has the same condition. These life things I assumed were what made me, me! I'm now 51 and awaiting hospital appointment for the ADHD/Mental Health team.
Kitchen counters, I can handle things on there is tidy, but I struggle with mess/untidy areas eventhough I have a cluttered house which I'm working on sorting for brain peace.
Thank you, you have described me as if you know me!
These are my fave kind of videos! Oldy but goldy here! Sending lots of love 💖
Hi Louise :) I have ADHD with significant autistic traits, I was diagnosed at 26 by an educational psychologist but it wasn't confirmed until my early 30s by a psychiatrist. I will say that if you decide to go the assessment route I would recommend NHS as waiting lists are lengthy (it's not treated as an emergency) and any medication can be hugely expensive privately... affording it might not be a problem, but equally you pay taxes for the NHS so might as well not pay twice if you don't have to!
You said it doesn't really impact your life, and that may be true, the impact it has is part of the diagnostic criteria. I would say you've created a life that works for you, and you might find that you have put things in place for yourself that mitigate your difficulties.
In terms of how to access assessment, I'd start by looking at diagnostic tools (for autism the Autism Quotient is a good place to start) for ADHD then the website additude has some good online quizzes.
After that you can contact your GP and discuss your concerns and ask about local service provisions for adult assessment, or look at the Right To Choose pathways for both ADHD and Autism via Psychiatry UK.
Hope this helps :) on a personal note, it's interesting to me that so many of the content creators I love are exploring neurodivergence, wonder of there's something in that!
During lockdown i realised I'm autistic/adhd. I did so so much research. I worked it out as my child is very similar to me but higher needs in some ways.
I'm so glad you have discovered your neurodivergence, its so validating! Ive always wondered if you are because i relate to you so much. ❤️
in regards to where to start (adhd/autism diagnosis-wise), talking to other neurodivergent people is definitely one of the best things you can do, as many other people here have mentioned. before my diagnoses i also did a lot of independent research and made lists and notes detailing symptoms that are fairly common for both disorders, which helped to get everything straight in my mind. i was lucky enough to be able to go private with my adhd and autism diagnostic appointments, and for my autism assessment i went with a group called axia who were absolutely fantastic. they offer sort of generic appointments, so you could potentially get diagnosed with both adhd and autism in the same session. it felt as though the appointment was actually tailored to fit autistic people well, and before we sorted out the in-person consultation there were lots of opportunities to talk about any adjustments i might need to make the appointment more comfortable for me. i wish you all the best for this journey, and i hope you get all the answers you’re looking for!!
Hi Louise, I'm on a waiting list to be diagnosed for adhd. I'm 38 too and I have known that I am different for many years and feel like knowing that I mostly likely have adhd, has made me feel better about myself and getting answers is helping me in my life. The best thing to do is go to your gp and ask them to refer you for diagnosis. Also there is a bbc panorama program about adhd diagnosis which I found helpful.
I remember the old days 💕
You mentioned your old house in a recent clip & I smiled because, yeah, I do remember it!
I totally understand what you mean about ‘typical’ view of Autism.
Our 7yo daughter is very academic, a beautifully presented child, a well rounded little girl. She’s recently been diagnosed and many family members were shocked. One even said ‘but she’s so… normal?!’ So I get what you mean!
Also! YES to Louise Live. Please do Liverpool! I loved coming to your recent book signing! xx