They picked Piety as first policy which is arguably the worst "first pick" as it would take forever to get the next policy compared to tradition or mass murdering barbs with honor and didn't bother to use that bonus to build a shrine. They also first built a worker and didn't even do anything with it when they could have built two farms on the river... and even almost fed said worker to Barbarians. You would have to try in order to be worse than what they did.
Watching this before playing Civ 5: Oh, I don't see what all the fuss is, they aren't doing that bad. Watching this after playing Civ 5: WHAT THE FUCK IS ROSS THINKING
I assume the problem is that Ross didn't spend time building up his empire, and instead spent it exploring territories that mean nothing to him (at this moment) and building soldiers that don't do much for a religious country that is two feet across. But what do I know. I haven't played a Civ game before.
Victor Rico true every civilization game is different from the last slightly at first but with all the DLC its vastly different, play the god damned tutorial or fail
Reading this years later.. A Danny episode, like his Space Quest ones, playing VI would be enjoyable to watch for a run. I'd also love to see them both play as well though, but its just a pipe dream at this point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I love the characters they created in this playthrough; the clueless citizens of Kyoto demanding salt, Augustus the douchebag emperor, and the spoiled dicks in Ife casually remarking that they "desire" gems.
nayld esrom Indeed, I think Ross may have been playing bad intentionally. How could he figure out how to automate workers but then take seven thousand years to look at the unit tabs in order to prepare his catapults so he could fire them?
Hopey Olguin Perhaps. The sequence of learning seems somewhat out of place. Which is why I hold Ross suspect. Yet, you very well could be right. He did seem like he was kind of just stumbling through.
Constipated_Llama It's probably something to do with them focusing more on talking than the game. It seems like most lets players miss stuff that seems obvious when you watch it.
How to fend off an army Step one: find a huge bulky man Step two: make some poems preferably shakepeare style Step three: make the big bulky Man U found prior to step one wear a dress Step four: have home read off the poems to the opposing army They should flee works every time oh and don't forget to yell out "THERES MORE SHAKSPEARE WHERE THAT CAME FROM!!!!!"
EDIT: THE COMPLETE PACK ($150 VALUE) IS ON SALE FOR $12.50 RIGHT NOW BUY IT!!!! Dan: I believe scientific victory is new Me: This is going to crash and burn so hard and I love it Honestly this is why I bought Civ V. This video was such a good move for them. Plus free marketing here: The complete pack is worth $150 is is sold for $50 normally. What the fuck what are you doing? When the next sale comes out you can get it for like $12. How can you not???
If you're honestly expecting people completely new to the game to play like someone who put hundreds of hours into playing it, you deserve the pain you feel from watching it.
I swear these guys have serious tunnel vision, because they can't see what you are supposed to build. Like when Ross moved the workers 50 times not seeing that the recommended action was to build a farm.
I think it's just because they're using a big screen and are looking at it from a range, so it would be difficult to actually look at the smaller side of things when the majority of the screen is focusing on the map. Also, I am aware that this is a fairly old comment so if you already found a reasonable answer, then great, if not, then here's an answer! If you want some more proof, look into the undertale livestream they posted where they fought Sans, it had a webcam that showed all of them so it should give you a good understanding on how far away they are from the screen. You can also look into one of the episodes of Sonic and The Black Knight where Danny filmed Arin (I think I got the names right) wiggling the Wii controller and then pointing the camera at the screen. Anyways, sorry for long comment, plz dont hurt me ;-;
As someone who has been playing Civ for years, I found it funny that Arin, who they say is the least familiar of the three with the series can more accurately describe the game's mechanics through pure guess than Ross, who says he played it the night before.
Well to be fair, Ross refuses to read and just spastically clicks on whatever button looks prettiest. Arin and Danny are kind of like the audience in that they're just observing while he destroys the lives of thousands of people.
boradis No, Arin is like Darth Sidious whispering to Ross ways that will end up pissing off the viewers. Danny is the straight man who is trying to steer Ross on the right path but no one ever listens to him. This is not more obvious in the Spore playthrough.
This series is so hilarious. The way Arin and Danny constantly try to keep Ross on the right track, and fail, is beautiful. I love how many comments here are under the assumption that Game Grumps or Steam Train has ever been about concise gameplay.
Arin's got it. It's like Go. ALWAYS settle near your rival. It secures you more resources and denies him more. The AI is programmed that way. It's why Caesar put his city so close to Kyoto. Although, Ross's city Omaha WAS a good idea, since it's coastal, and now he has access to ALL the trade routes.
No. He definitely wasn't. Ross was messing around, and often making bad decisions, but Dan had no idea what he was talking about. It was actually infuriating to listen to him pretend to know what to do.
@@thomasduplessis3568 well he was wrong thinking that the Roman embassy would turn them into a colony, but at least he had good instincts to expand towards the center... Which Ross ignored ;)
He definitely hasn't. He clearly had no idea what he was talking about. Ross actually often did things that indicated some previous playing experience.
Watching them spam military units, move their worker around aimlessly, researching whatever, adopting random policies, and going to war with only 3 units, was making me cringe.
***** The law and order GamerGate episode that was super crap. That's one of the more memorable lines, because it was really poorly delivered. Look it up if you weren't planning to.
but in the end its all worth it because of how much of a blast theyre having playing. their laugh is so freaking contagious i love all of them so much.
Jo. Po. That doesn't necessarily mean he knew what he was doing. If he was playing on Settler difficulty it would have been basically impossible to lose.
+Right. How do I make that? actually you are right. at the 26 min mark the whole discussion to settle at the top left may seem like a stupid idea to anyone who hasnt played civ. But those who have, knw that its actually a good idea because of many strategic reasons. (common knowledge if you played the game at least once)
I know right! Like, 12 hours played in 3 days! And it didn't count the day my internet connection stopped working which is like another 7 hours. Civ: Beyond Earth is the first game I have ever pre oredered because the civ series is one of the few game series I actually trust to pre order their game and not have it fucked up
***** its actually going to be just like civ 5, but on different planets, and with aliens instead of barbarians. They have also made a better research web along with improving some of the things they tested in civ 5, like espionage.
considering Ross' very poor decisions when it comes to picking fights, its fortunate that he chose Japan since their ability allows their units to fight at full strength all the time even when they are damaged.
you have to keep in mind, they only played this for a few hours before recording and this game is insanely hard if you don't know exactly what to do and what to research in the correct order
Deff worth the watch lol Ah yes I'm re-watching this series for the second time as I await Fire Reds return, this series is a true testament to the awesome comedic powers the 3 main Grumps hold when they unite lol even Ross is funny in this.
I used to think that AD was "After Death," too, and my mom also called me stupid for it. She was like, "Then, what do they call the years when Jesus was alive? 'The Jesus Years?!'"
Yeah, that's what a lot of people were taught. But again, what do you call the years Jesus was alive? AD stands for "Anno Domini," which is Latin for "In the year of the Lord."
I don't even play Civ, so it's telling that this even made me grind my teeth with frustration. I wonder why they let Ross take the helm on this one, outside of comedy value laughing at his fail. He somehow managed to play for an entire hour without even clicking on his cities, despite the big glowing red bullseye on one of them and constant reminders. Truly not a game for someone with level 99 ADD.
Ah Civ5, the first Game Grumps episode/series I ever watched. And boy am I glad too. I subscribed about halfway through this episode, then from here I found out about JonTron. Now I've got a channel I check every day, GG just ticks all the boxes for me. They have fun and don't give a fuck, and its perfect.
Victory story time! One day while playing Civ IV, I chose the almighty empire, the Romans (Augustus Caesar ftw). I decide to be a war state, and bee line for war techs. I have little luck, finding horses for chariots to be a little to close to my enemy. As I begin my streamline for copper, I begin to build axeman, since Bronze was near my city. When I discover Iron Working, I discover something glorious along with it. Rome, my capital city, was built on a fucking iron deposit. Instant Iron.
***** Civ IV Golden Edition. There, I specified my version. I'll cite a source or take a screenshot if you like. *ACHOO!* civilization.wikia.com/wiki/Augustus_Caesar_%28Civ4%29
***** Oh wow. Civil response. Good on you, kind sir. Yes, you are absolutely correct. He was introduced in Warlords. While I didn't play any expansion past that one, I can easily claim he had some of the best abilities. His original traits were amazing. Creative and organized? Yes please. And his unique unit, oh my god. PRAETORIANS? YES PLEASE. They changed them in a later add-on, making him far more war-like, which saddens me greatly. From what I gathered he came off as more the "brilliant leader" type and not the "warlike imperialist" type.
Nah, he's more or less right. Early on it's a good idea to try and carve out a large area that you control, then build in those areas later when you want to expand. You're right that you want to utilize that land, it's just that you'll do it later when you've already secured your territory.
+styleugly16 not true. Yes, he probably should have settled somewhere else first, but your cities can only work three tiles away. If the area was a good spot to settle, then he definitely should settle a city there eventually.
Ross: I think we need a library Me: Yes Ross now you're doing good Dan: I think you need some guys to protect our borders Me: DAN SHUT THE FUCK UP Ross: Yeah You're right Me: DAMN IT
The sad thing is they are playing on Settler difficulty... the ONE difficulty where NOBODY will invade your lands on their own. You need to declare war on them and barbs will not enter your borders. They could literally get away with having no military at all and still win easily.
NotOfficalJames True... but you would think they probably would figure no one else has an army that big yet so they could wait a bit more before building troops... or at least picked honor if they were going to build so many troops and not Piety
I was feeling a panic attack coming on and the first thing I came to for relaxation was this. I know this is an old ass video and you guys don't check comments but I just want to thank you for once again helping me when my brain starts short circuiting
If they would just take literally 5 seconds to examine the bottom left corner (or anything really) of their screen they would have done so much better. This is really painful to watch. Dont want to hate tho, i still kind of have fun watching this.
Ive never played civ, but theres some parts even Im facepalming at,,,like when he kept thinking the caravans were troops and kept trying to make them march out...when it very clearly says CARAVAN at the bottom
UnagiTempura Exactly, so when you know what they should be doing, it makes them look like toddlers. To be fair though, it took me a while to get the hang of it.
also (especially during the war) everytime I saw the little target thing over a city wanting him to let them shoot the enemy..I just wanted to hit him haha
14:03 "Your citizens have been happy with your rule of fuckin'... pottery and... mass murder..." Yep that's basically how human civilization was born. 10/10 for historical accuracy
10 years later, finally going back and watching Steam Train, and this is by far the hardest GG video I've ever sat through. Lifelong Civ player, and the absolute refusal to read is handicapping them so hard.
Omg, I'm only 6 minutes in and I cringe, they are fucking up so bad already. I suppose it wouldn't get much better if I continue watching? But at least they're having fun. :)
zack parsons Absolutely. In fact I envy them for just having fun with it. I remember my first few times playing a Civ game feeling like I was studying something pretty complex just to end up sucking a LITTLE less at it with each time I tried. It's a process.
pangea is basically earth in a nutshell. it is earth when all the continents were together. there are countless pieces of evidence for the continents all once fitting together.
When I first heard that all the continents were one at some time, I thought it was bullshit. Then I looked at a world map and saw that each continent was like a puzzle piece. Connecting PERFECTLY with another.
The whole "After Death" thing for A.D. always made me laugh. It's amazing that so many people can think that B.C. means 'before Christ' and A.D. means 'After death'... without there being a thirty two year period called "DURING CHRIST"
BC /does/ mean before christ to my knowledge, and AD means anno domini (the year of our lord) so its all about jesus. i dislike this way of telling time but little can be done since year 0 is *apparently* when jesus was born and *apparently* jesus' birth is of significance. personally i prefer the BCE (before common era) and CE (common era). man fuck this religious bullshit all over our society, lets move on already
Yeah, I wasn't saying BC wasn't "before Christ" in the original meaning, but when paired with "After Death", that's when it shows how little things like this are actually thought about in any deep manner.
+AngryAragami Or to put it another way... two people who don't know how to play Civ 5 trying to tell someone who REALLY doesn't know how to play what to do.
i watch this while being high and i laughing my fucking ass off after dan said "we are a japanese in rome riding a camel" because i fucking imagining a japanese riding a camel in rome. also at 41:36 i notice the map look like a dog wearing a blue bowtie.
I can't even lie, You see how smart Dan is in some of the most random playthroughs. He's pretty tactical, and Arin over there with Go and the like. This is pretty cool.
Cannonperson Lovely that you're both misreading my post and couldn't spell an insult correctly at the same time. Greenland is an autonomous country within the Kingdom of Denmark, which is a different thing from the country of Denmark and even if it was part of the country of Denmark, it isn't anywhere near mainland Europe. Apart from this, Greenland is geographically part of the continent of North America. Edit: Are you Danish by any chance? Hitting that nerve would explain your reaction, or, at least give you an excuse.
Marco Wolken Sorry that i misread it, and sorry i intentionally misspelled and i'm sorry that i made it sound like an insult. I know Greenland is geographically a part of North America, but considering that Denmark in some way "owns" Greenland, perhaps Greenland would be considered a part of Scandinavia, or maybe i'm just mistaken :P And yes, i'm from of Denmark, making me very aware of my small country-size meaning that i want to call Greenland my bitch :P
LZaku well, I don't really try to win the game through war. I usually like to play Diplomatically, so I usually play as Morocco or the Netherlands because their abilities involve trade.
Game developers: "We should give this to the Grumps early so they can build the hype for our game and give it a good impression." *four minutes in* Grumps: "WE'LL BE ABLE TO FILL THE POTS WITH, UH, HORSE LIQUIDS"
"I think... we're in France?"
> Is in the heart of Russia.
no hes near sweeden
a crazier version
i think.. were in Brazil?
> Is in the capital of Norway, Oslo
РC Tiрs THIS TTOOL FOR FREE STEAM MONEY IS THE BEST ON THE ENTIRE WEBSТORE!!!>> Civilizаtion V Brave New Wоrld PART 1 Stеam Train
SuperFoxyGamer LOL!!!!! Yes I'd like my virus in blue please
i dont need money :D
> Acquires a Caravan
"Oh shit! Is that an archer? A Japanese camel archer?"
*Banging my head on the desk*
This series actually compelled me to buy Civ V just to see how much better I could play it than Ross.
That's not aiming too high lol
They picked Piety as first policy which is arguably the worst "first pick" as it would take forever to get the next policy compared to tradition or mass murdering barbs with honor and didn't bother to use that bonus to build a shrine. They also first built a worker and didn't even do anything with it when they could have built two farms on the river... and even almost fed said worker to Barbarians. You would have to try in order to be worse than what they did.
+Jackiejfnfjvif
A five year old could play better than Ross,
Judging by the lack of results, I don't think the it worked out much better.
Watching this before playing Civ 5: Oh, I don't see what all the fuss is, they aren't doing that bad.
Watching this after playing Civ 5: WHAT THE FUCK IS ROSS THINKING
i feel the exsct same way o.o oh theyre the worst leaders...
as an RTS player in general... it takes all my strength not to hunt down Ross and shoot him in the butt
Pirans What was he doing wrong? I'm interested.
I'm assuming you haven't played a Civ game before?
I assume the problem is that Ross didn't spend time building up his empire, and instead spent it exploring territories that mean nothing to him (at this moment) and building soldiers that don't do much for a religious country that is two feet across. But what do I know. I haven't played a Civ game before.
I didn't think it was possible to fuck up this bad in Civ
You should never bet against the Game Grumps' ability to screw up in nearly every way possible.
Before having a copy of civ 5; wow that game looks really hard
After having a copy of civ 5; They suck
If you've ever played a civ game you'd know they aren't good at this lol, But I'm not here for pro plays, I'm here for the game grumps.
Travis Reilly Moral of the story: Play the fucking Tutorial
Victor Rico true every civilization game is different from the last slightly at first but with all the DLC its vastly different, play the god damned tutorial or fail
I'm definitely not the best at Civ 5, but holy hell, this makes me want to cry profusely.
Same, man.
Man, it'd be nice for this game to be revisited, but with Dan at the controls, actually reading things
Or just with some more experience. I want it back as well
Reading this years later..
A Danny episode, like his Space Quest ones, playing VI would be enjoyable to watch for a run. I'd also love to see them both play as well though, but its just a pipe dream at this point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'd love a game grumps vs featuring ross, where all of them fight
I love the characters they created in this playthrough; the clueless citizens of Kyoto demanding salt, Augustus the douchebag emperor, and the spoiled dicks in Ife casually remarking that they "desire" gems.
Lmao
Dont forget the noblemen Ted and Steve
Also the shirtless wonder
I'm sad they didnt have julius ceasar In the last two games
A bunch of potheads is what they have
All about religion. +0 Faith per turn.
+Sigmund Fraud I didnt know it was possible. they didnt make a shrine when it would take like no time....
nayld esrom Indeed, I think Ross may have been playing bad intentionally. How could he figure out how to automate workers but then take seven thousand years to look at the unit tabs in order to prepare his catapults so he could fire them?
+Sigmund Fraud
I think he only "figure out" because he just clicked randomly, he even stated "oh I can't do stuff yet, I need to learn it"
Hopey Olguin Perhaps. The sequence of learning seems somewhat out of place. Which is why I hold Ross suspect. Yet, you very well could be right. He did seem like he was kind of just stumbling through.
Automating workers is terrible.
*Danny gives Ross advice*
Ross: "you're probably right"
Ross: *does the opposite*
"When in Rome, be a Japanese guy riding a camel." - Dan Avidan 2013
Skiles Merde, beat me to it
Chaos [Issac] by 4 years
Ya that always kind of irked me that they didn't have different trade animal's for different civilizations.
It's like they're incapable of reading. It clearly says caravan and Arin's all like "it's totally a camel archer."
To be honest, we all wish to have camel archers.
Crazy Jay That's true.
Constipated_Llama It's probably something to do with them focusing more on talking than the game. It seems like most lets players miss stuff that seems obvious when you watch it.
Crazy Jay RTW II has camel archers. And people tend to not like it.
***** yeah, "sugar". Arin seems to legitimately have no idea how drugs work, but I'm pretty sure Danny is high as fuck like 80 percent of the time.
The first time I watched these episodes I had never played Civ but now after playing a few games this is kind of painful to watch.....
+Joe L. It's both funny and facepalmick.
+Joe L. im downloading it right now
+Kuonluw you mean like how ross is all " WHAT R DOSE? " when it clearly says archers in the bottom left corner.
+Joe L. I know right I'm struggling to stay calm
I realized they're the assholes xD
~in the middle of losing a war~ ....lemme make more workers to build clay pots.
~While everyone's in war~ GUYS WE DESIRE GEMS!
***** I died of laughing when they talked about SALT
I still desire my gems...
How to fend off an army
Step one: find a huge bulky man
Step two: make some poems preferably shakepeare style
Step three: make the big bulky Man U found prior to step one wear a dress
Step four: have home read off the poems to the opposing army
They should flee works every time oh and don't forget to yell out "THERES MORE SHAKSPEARE WHERE THAT CAME FROM!!!!!"
Jaxon M. ay lmao
56:55 It's a boat. With guns. A gunboat.
Open. The country.
Stop. Having it be closed.
Kassidy L Hire a samurai
*arin & dan:* ross, will you just . stop fucking up everything
*ross:* ♪ _how bout i do anyway?_ ♪
knock knock its Europe, here to sell us shit, like books and guns and *jesus*
Augustus Caesar: I don't understand these idiots, I don't even know what to call them.
Arin, Dan, and Ross: How about sunrise land?
Ross: "im making settlers next time"
Ross next turn: "what should we make?" makes barracks
woah hey me
Lol
I'm probably a minority here, but i really wish they would play this again haha
I just really hope they play civ 6
I completely agree
@@Taperollandball sadly they have not at the point im writing this
@@FIRSTNAMELASTNAME-zt4kf Let's start a petition
I'm still here lol
EDIT: THE COMPLETE PACK ($150 VALUE) IS ON SALE FOR $12.50 RIGHT NOW BUY IT!!!!
Dan: I believe scientific victory is new
Me: This is going to crash and burn so hard and I love it
Honestly this is why I bought Civ V. This video was such a good move for them. Plus free marketing here: The complete pack is worth $150 is is sold for $50 normally. What the fuck what are you doing? When the next sale comes out you can get it for like $12. How can you not???
Piscaso 13
Brendan Kress 12.50 but I got it on DLgames for 12.
Piscaso in my country the complete edition is just 40 euro...i dont really know how much thats worth
herobrinext9 you just missed the sale, it ended yesterday
Brendan Kress i already have it
I bet the creators watched this and were like "What is this shit what have we done why did we give them the game"
Probably. HEY Binary10100 ! What do you think?
This was literally painful to watch considering the hundreds of hours I've played in this game.
However, it was funny as fuck.
Ben Johnston my reaction was the same I came back to watch it and laugh
If you're honestly expecting people completely new to the game to play like someone who put hundreds of hours into playing it, you deserve the pain you feel from watching it.
Dustin Rausch
You do realize that they are playing the difficulty that teaches you how to play right?
Same fucking here
Okay as a Civ player, rewatching this, I'm reaching for the bleach watching them attempt to use their "Japanese Camel Archers" xD
Nick Froehlinger and why caravans can't move XD
I swear these guys have serious tunnel vision, because they can't see what you are supposed to build. Like when Ross moved the workers 50 times not seeing that the recommended action was to build a farm.
I think it's just because they're using a big screen and are looking at it from a range, so it would be difficult to actually look at the smaller side of things when the majority of the screen is focusing on the map. Also, I am aware that this is a fairly old comment so if you already found a reasonable answer, then great, if not, then here's an answer! If you want some more proof, look into the undertale livestream they posted where they fought Sans, it had a webcam that showed all of them so it should give you a good understanding on how far away they are from the screen. You can also look into one of the episodes of Sonic and The Black Knight where Danny filmed Arin (I think I got the names right) wiggling the Wii controller and then pointing the camera at the screen. Anyways, sorry for long comment, plz dont hurt me ;-;
It still blows my mind that they successfully managed to ignore 80% of the UI in this series.
The Coach; Could you make Cox & Crendor in The Morning return to the air? I'll pay in Pawlish Sawsage. (In the parlance of your people)
***** I'm sorry, but that is beyond even my power.
Arin made a sarcastic comment that happiness will help you win wars.
Funny thing is...
It does.
As someone who has been playing Civ for years, I found it funny that Arin, who they say is the least familiar of the three with the series can more accurately describe the game's mechanics through pure guess than Ross, who says he played it the night before.
Well to be fair, Ross refuses to read and just spastically clicks on whatever button looks prettiest. Arin and Danny are kind of like the audience in that they're just observing while he destroys the lives of thousands of people.
boradis Ross for President 2016!
boradis No, Arin is like Darth Sidious whispering to Ross ways that will end up pissing off the viewers. Danny is the straight man who is trying to steer Ross on the right path but no one ever listens to him. This is not more obvious in the Spore playthrough.
I like how the mini map looks like a dog's head for most of the video.
He points that out
This will forever be one of my favorite steam trains. Ross's ability to screw up so early is the absolute best.
This series is so hilarious. The way Arin and Danny constantly try to keep Ross on the right track, and fail, is beautiful. I love how many comments here are under the assumption that Game Grumps or Steam Train has ever been about concise gameplay.
I try to be like Genghis Khan and be the ultimate warlord......Ghandi had other plans....
Like building nukes.
guisedge I bet. The only reason I know that is because of one of my friends who plays Civ 5.
b-bood...boodWAAAA
Hannibal Barca vs Khan. Make it happen.
GHANDI IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE! WHY!?
Arin's got it. It's like Go. ALWAYS settle near your rival. It secures you more resources and denies him more. The AI is programmed that way. It's why Caesar put his city so close to Kyoto. Although, Ross's city Omaha WAS a good idea, since it's coastal, and now he has access to ALL the trade routes.
Danny is definately the only voice of reason in this catastrophe of a playthrough
Eliwood has spoken. Agreed.
Who cares about gameplay? xD You want proper gameplay... watch people who aren't funny... want funny watch people who suck at gameplay xD
No. He definitely wasn't. Ross was messing around, and often making bad decisions, but Dan had no idea what he was talking about. It was actually infuriating to listen to him pretend to know what to do.
@@thomasduplessis3568 well he was wrong thinking that the Roman embassy would turn them into a colony, but at least he had good instincts to expand towards the center... Which Ross ignored ;)
why do I feel like Dan has played civ before and was sort of just sitting back and letting ross fail
He definitely hasn't. He clearly had no idea what he was talking about. Ross actually often did things that indicated some previous playing experience.
Common sense vs. Ross being Ross. Danny actually has some basic idea of how a risk-style game should be played, while Ross is just Ross.
@@Otakupatriot117 No, Dan's advice actually was really really bad. I'm not mad though, this is hilarious to watch.
Watching them spam military units, move their worker around aimlessly, researching whatever, adopting random policies, and going to war with only 3 units, was making me cringe.
Rofl
It's like living in the USA right now
I read on Kotaku that it's better than Civ V with the Brave New World expansion pack.
***** Whoops missed the joke
***** The law and order GamerGate episode that was super crap. That's one of the more memorable lines, because it was really poorly delivered. Look it up if you weren't planning to.
Dude I freakn' love me some Amazonian Warriors! It doesn't look at all like it was made for the original Xbox!
ice
***** GO HOME GAMER GIRL
if Arin, Ross and Dan would play this with just the 3 of them, i think Dan would win
+Nuker I think it would time out on score.
+Nuker A 1v1v1 (or maybe more) Steamrolled would be nice for this, but probably not gonna happen since it's getting to be three years old now.
Paul Coffey Well we can only hope...... and sacrifice to Satan
+Paul Coffey Civ 6 ?? 1v1v1 ore more on civ 6??
This. This is the episode that truly established the "Goddammit Ross" slogan.
As a Civ player this is one of the most frustrating series to sit through.
but in the end its all worth it because of how much of a blast theyre having playing. their laugh is so freaking contagious i love all of them so much.
As a non-Civ player this is one of the most frustrating series to sit through.
26min in and they haven't figured out that Ross is trolling everyone.
Are you sure he is? He knows just as much about Civ as the rest of them do.
+CaptainSpycrab he beat civ on his own the night before recording this. he KNEW a lot more than he showed
Jo. Po. That doesn't necessarily mean he knew what he was doing. If he was playing on Settler difficulty it would have been basically impossible to lose.
+Right. How do I make that? So naive... keep believing in Santa Claus man, he's real! I believe in you!
+Right. How do I make that? actually you are right. at the 26 min mark the whole discussion to settle at the top left may seem like a stupid idea to anyone who hasnt played civ. But those who have, knw that its actually a good idea because of many strategic reasons. (common knowledge if you played the game at least once)
I'm curious as to why like Danny didn't take over and control the game
James Wurtz Because it's funnier with Ross in control.
Malisin E'Cila you spelled "THE MOST GRUELING THING THAT HAS AND WILL EXIST ON PLANET EARTH" wrong.
James Wurtz Danny said he is just as incompetent as Ross in this game
+Bryden O'Neill Except he's not....He actually reads XD
TVlord5 Shhh, the Grumps can't read, you crazy fellow :P
Ok so I have Civ 5 complete edition now because it was on sale on steam and....oh dear god kill me, kill me now
I know right! Like, 12 hours played in 3 days! And it didn't count the day my internet connection stopped working which is like another 7 hours. Civ: Beyond Earth is the first game I have ever pre oredered because the civ series is one of the few game series I actually trust to pre order their game and not have it fucked up
Belody Epic Um... :< I've done ~325hours...
***** Belody Epic 201 hours reporting in
Belody Epic I have 900 hours in total.
***** its actually going to be just like civ 5, but on different planets, and with aliens instead of barbarians. They have also made a better research web along with improving some of the things they tested in civ 5, like espionage.
considering Ross' very poor decisions when it comes to picking fights, its fortunate that he chose Japan since their ability allows their units to fight at full strength all the time even when they are damaged.
oh, I'm by no means a pro. I only got this game a couple days ago and I'll tell you right now that I freaking suck at it XD.
This is like watching kindergartners try and solve a calculus problem.
you have to keep in mind, they only played this for a few hours before recording and this game is insanely hard if you don't know exactly what to do and what to research in the correct order
*****
NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@zackparsons2815 I don't think this is valid, given that you can win by accident on settler difficulty
1 HOUR!? HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS!?!?!?
Deff worth the watch lol Ah yes I'm re-watching this series for the second time as I await Fire Reds return, this series is a true testament to the awesome comedic powers the 3 main Grumps hold when they unite lol even Ross is funny in this.
One Issac
One Issac I to have seen it all now and the other 4 episodes to, its a good time yo! :D
One Issac I'm so sorry on the loss of fire red. You must miss it dearly
R. I.P. In peice fire red.
Well, at least until Arin finishes grinding. Then FireRed shall return victoriously!
I used to think that AD was "After Death," too, and my mom also called me stupid for it. She was like, "Then, what do they call the years when Jesus was alive? 'The Jesus Years?!'"
AD "After Death". BC "Before Christ". That's what I was taught.
Yeah, that's what a lot of people were taught. But again, what do you call the years Jesus was alive? AD stands for "Anno Domini," which is Latin for "In the year of the Lord."
AH Red Yeah, it might vary by region and sect, but it's something to that effect.
Daniel Miller you were taught by morons
TheBekul I don't have to believe what you think it is, that doesn't make me a moron.
I don't even play Civ, so it's telling that this even made me grind my teeth with frustration. I wonder why they let Ross take the helm on this one, outside of comedy value laughing at his fail. He somehow managed to play for an entire hour without even clicking on his cities, despite the big glowing red bullseye on one of them and constant reminders. Truly not a game for someone with level 99 ADD.
Ross is really into science and evolution Yet he doesn't know what Pangea is... That's sad
"Amphitheatre? is that where they show off amputees?" ... i lost it.
Ah Civ5, the first Game Grumps episode/series I ever watched.
And boy am I glad too. I subscribed about halfway through this episode, then from here I found out about JonTron. Now I've got a channel I check every day, GG just ticks all the boxes for me. They have fun and don't give a fuck, and its perfect.
Do not question the efficacy of clay pots. Clay pots basically won the Battle of Blackwater.
Dan:we need no to make the most savage army of all time
Civilians of the city:Let's go make some pots or write poetry
Victory story time!
One day while playing Civ IV, I chose the almighty empire, the Romans (Augustus Caesar ftw). I decide to be a war state, and bee line for war techs. I have little luck, finding horses for chariots to be a little to close to my enemy. As I begin my streamline for copper, I begin to build axeman, since Bronze was near my city. When I discover Iron Working, I discover something glorious along with it. Rome, my capital city, was built on a fucking iron deposit. Instant Iron.
Julius is in IV, not Augustus
***** Civ IV Golden Edition. There, I specified my version. I'll cite a source or take a screenshot if you like.
*ACHOO!*
civilization.wikia.com/wiki/Augustus_Caesar_%28Civ4%29
MetalGearRexPilot Sorry, I thought we were talking about vanilla Civ IV. He's not in vanilla Civ IV, I'm absolutely sure of this.
***** Oh wow. Civil response. Good on you, kind sir. Yes, you are absolutely correct. He was introduced in Warlords. While I didn't play any expansion past that one, I can easily claim he had some of the best abilities.
His original traits were amazing. Creative and organized? Yes please. And his unique unit, oh my god. PRAETORIANS? YES PLEASE.
They changed them in a later add-on, making him far more war-like, which saddens me greatly. From what I gathered he came off as more the "brilliant leader" type and not the "warlike imperialist" type.
***** What a pointless post :/
You can't spell gross without ross
This man, SPEAKS THE TRUTH! Because if there wasn't Ross, it'd just be G.
18:54 Arin gives the worst possible Civ advice ever. "You already own that land....so don't bother using it for anything"
Literally every piece of advice they give is wrong, it's hilarious
In a greater strategic snese yes he "controlled" it already but he needs to settle to USE it.
Nah, he's more or less right. Early on it's a good idea to try and carve out a large area that you control, then build in those areas later when you want to expand. You're right that you want to utilize that land, it's just that you'll do it later when you've already secured your territory.
+styleugly16
not true. Yes, he probably should have settled somewhere else first, but your cities can only work three tiles away. If the area was a good spot to settle, then he definitely should settle a city there eventually.
They met Vatican City before Christ...
Yep.
And people can become Christian before Jesus too.
Ross: I think we need a library
Me: Yes Ross now you're doing good
Dan: I think you need some guys to protect our borders
Me: DAN SHUT THE FUCK UP
Ross: Yeah You're right
Me: DAMN IT
The sad thing is they are playing on Settler difficulty... the ONE difficulty where NOBODY will invade your lands on their own. You need to declare war on them and barbs will not enter your borders. They could literally get away with having no military at all and still win easily.
Ltspongebob3 nowhere in the game does it says that, so how are they supposed to know that? hell, I didn't know that
NotOfficalJames True... but you would think they probably would figure no one else has an army that big yet so they could wait a bit more before building troops... or at least picked honor if they were going to build so many troops and not Piety
I was feeling a panic attack coming on and the first thing I came to for relaxation was this. I know this is an old ass video and you guys don't check comments but I just want to thank you for once again helping me when my brain starts short circuiting
Got recommended this 8yrs later. Still a masterpiece
If they would just take literally 5 seconds to examine the bottom left corner (or anything really) of their screen they would have done so much better. This is really painful to watch. Dont want to hate tho, i still kind of have fun watching this.
i like how they study religion without even getting a shrine
CIV5 cringe edition!
i never go with reilgion
Ik this is an old comment.... but what if they didn't want to worship idols? Ross is secretly a Civ5 genius
>playing bnw before it was released
>plays as a vanilla civ
why
I hope they play civ 6
"Spoilers if you haven't finished the series"
Let's hope Ross doesn't kick the computer this time.
YES PLEAE
Chris Marcotte Hahaha what an ending
Well its been 3 years... might as well finally finish watching this episode.
give me the strength to continue
I'm glad i have never played civilization so I don't take this series seriously, because I'm guessing if i had I would be screaming at the screen.
You have no idea.... Lol.
I have played exactly 1/2 of a civ 5 game, and this still frustrates me
Probably just to sum it up, Ross can heal his units whenever he wants, and he should be building farms constantly :L
I'm a civ noob and I was screaming at the screen.
Plague Marine So I assume that you reacted at this, the same way I react at the Windwaker walkthrough.
First time I watched this, had no clue what Civ was, I've now logged like 22 hours, so let's see if this is even funnier now.
and is it?
UnagiTempura Totally!
All the icons stand out so hard to me now, like they're really obvious, and they just miss them!
Ive never played civ, but theres some parts even Im facepalming at,,,like when he kept thinking the caravans were troops and kept trying to make them march out...when it very clearly says CARAVAN at the bottom
UnagiTempura Exactly, so when you know what they should be doing, it makes them look like toddlers. To be fair though, it took me a while to get the hang of it.
also (especially during the war) everytime I saw the little target thing over a city wanting him to let them shoot the enemy..I just wanted to hit him haha
14:03 "Your citizens have been happy with your rule of fuckin'... pottery and... mass murder..."
Yep that's basically how human civilization was born. 10/10 for historical accuracy
10 years later, finally going back and watching Steam Train, and this is by far the hardest GG video I've ever sat through. Lifelong Civ player, and the absolute refusal to read is handicapping them so hard.
see these are the kind of games you need to live stream
so people can yell at you and tell you what you're doing wrong in real time and stuff
TheAmazing_OMEGA ya its the only way thes dumbasses can feel validated if they dont make pointless and hateful comments then whay do they exist
I was banging my head when they couldn't figure out that you can heal units
Am I the only one that wants them to return to this series
Omg, I'm only 6 minutes in and I cringe, they are fucking up so bad already. I suppose it wouldn't get much better if I continue watching?
But at least they're having fun. :)
They are the worst Civ players I've ever seen. It makes me cry.
Alx Merky haha you make it sound like they're good at games!
Everyone sucks their first few playthroughs of this game, games hard as balls if you don't know what you're doing.
zack parsons
Absolutely.
In fact I envy them for just having fun with it. I remember my first few times playing a Civ game feeling like I was studying something pretty complex just to end up sucking a LITTLE less at it with each time I tried. It's a process.
I felt that way when they played binding of isaac... But it's still enjoyable to watch, besides the major cringeworthy moments.
pangea is basically earth in a nutshell. it is earth when all the continents were together. there are countless pieces of evidence for the continents all once fitting together.
You know that's a well known fact right?
+Devon Weaver Apparently not in Australia. Ross is bringing his entire people down. Way to go Ross.
When I first heard that all the continents were one at some time, I thought it was bullshit. Then I looked at a world map and saw that each continent was like a puzzle piece. Connecting PERFECTLY with another.
+tyler89557 So just like Gondwana?
Pangaea is a land mass
Earth is the planet
never laughed so much in my life!!!! thank you, game grumps.
The whole "After Death" thing for A.D. always made me laugh. It's amazing that so many people can think that B.C. means 'before Christ' and A.D. means 'After death'... without there being a thirty two year period called "DURING CHRIST"
BC /does/ mean before christ to my knowledge, and AD means anno domini (the year of our lord) so its all about jesus. i dislike this way of telling time but little can be done since year 0 is *apparently* when jesus was born and *apparently* jesus' birth is of significance.
personally i prefer the BCE (before common era) and CE (common era). man fuck this religious bullshit all over our society, lets move on already
aypierre People have changed it to BCE and CE, refering to before common era and common era respectively
Yeah, I wasn't saying BC wasn't "before Christ" in the original meaning, but when paired with "After Death", that's when it shows how little things like this are actually thought about in any deep manner.
GuiltySparkel mmmm some people might, but i dont think its the standard.
aypierre In the US it's the standard in schools to use BCE and CE. At least where I live.
I just love the mental image of King Ross on his throne giving orders while his advisers Dan and Arin try to influence him.
+AngryAragami Or to put it another way... two people who don't know how to play Civ 5 trying to tell someone who REALLY doesn't know how to play what to do.
Here from watching the last of Ross's "Guest Grumps" Super Mario Maker 2 videos. Our boys getting nostalgic hit me in the feels.
"Dude, don't be mean to me..."
Ross sounds extra innocent
One of the most infuriating, but hilarious playthroughs. Wish they would come back to this one.
Didn't know Dan liked Civ...
The more you know
Doesn't mean he doesn't LIKE It.
He liked watching other people play it while high as a kite. That amounts to something. I dunno what, but something.
The more jew know
i watch this while being high and i laughing my fucking ass off after dan said "we are a japanese in rome riding a camel" because i fucking imagining a japanese riding a camel in rome. also at 41:36 i notice the map look like a dog wearing a blue bowtie.
I wasn't even this noobish when I started playing Civilization. At the same time though, I've never been this funny.
"We want to be the very best." That no one ever was?
Haha that's what I was thinking when he said that. Lost opportunity lol
I love how it takes the entire episode for Ross to figure out that he can defend his town.
I cant watch anymore of this without smashing my computer screen
Perhaps next you could research how the Vatican can exist in the period of time that is literally named "Before Christ".
funniest channel in the whole youtube universe
+Papyrus Hey sorry barry killed you
Weather Report yea
+Papyrus I guess in the whole YOUniverse
Clark Frederick Huh?
+Papyrus RUclips + Universe = YOUniverse
I was never interested in this game, but I kinda want to play it now.
game really addictive
Really addicting but there is a huge learning curve. Don't be intimidated by the learning curve though you hardly notice it's there.
***** It doesn't seem THAT hard. I mean, it's all about potter, right?
I bought the game pretty much right after watching this. Got nuked by Ghandi three times, seems legit.
AleksGoesGaming yes never has there been a man more cold ruthless then Gandhi the destroyer
I play Civ a lot so when I saw that the Game Grumps were playing it I was like "this will be just stupidly amazing".
I can't even lie, You see how smart Dan is in some of the most random playthroughs. He's pretty tactical, and Arin over there with Go and the like. This is pretty cool.
Guys, guys, guys... I just realized Ross, Danny and Arin are working as a triumvirate.
Greenland isn't near Scandinavia. It's pretty much next to Canada and not that close to mainland Europe either.
But it is technically part of scandinavia though... Cuz like... iz Denmark... Iz Denmarks bitch.
Cannonperson Lovely that you're both misreading my post and couldn't spell an insult correctly at the same time. Greenland is an autonomous country within the Kingdom of Denmark, which is a different thing from the country of Denmark and even if it was part of the country of Denmark, it isn't anywhere near mainland Europe.
Apart from this, Greenland is geographically part of the continent of North America.
Edit: Are you Danish by any chance? Hitting that nerve would explain your reaction, or, at least give you an excuse.
Marco Wolken Sorry that i misread it, and sorry i intentionally misspelled and i'm sorry that i made it sound like an insult.
I know Greenland is geographically a part of North America, but considering that Denmark in some way "owns" Greenland, perhaps Greenland would be considered a part of Scandinavia, or maybe i'm just mistaken :P
And yes, i'm from of Denmark, making me very aware of my small country-size meaning that i want to call Greenland my bitch :P
Marco Wolken Now i reached the moment in the video where they mention Greenland :P Making my comment irrelevant xP
I was just stating what I read during my studies. Who really cares who's right? Enjoying the video would be a much better use of all of our time :)
1:00:08 FINALLY
"Steve, Ted, you take that battleship!"
"Okay, Captain! Argh! I didn't think I was going to die today!"
XD I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard.
This is by far, the most cringe inducing episode from game grumps.
This is so cringey...
I love it.
Has the most expansive DLC before it comes out and yet plays as a vanilla civ.
Whats the difference?
IFE:
Personality: Hostile
Ross: "So we're being friends, I guess."
Just won a game for the first time playing as the Netherlands. Its SO satisfying!
Really?! im satisfied when i take a city from the russians... (Civ3 by the way not on civ5 :3 )
LZaku well, I don't really try to win the game through war. I usually like to play Diplomatically, so I usually play as Morocco or the Netherlands because their abilities involve trade.
Everyone has their own way to enjoy the game peacefully or warmongory or even maybe just messing with PCs.
POLDERS FTW
You guys aren't doing so bad. The only times something goes wrong is when you click things.
Dan: "THEY'RE GONNA TAKE OUR GUUUUUNS"
Game developers: "We should give this to the Grumps early so they can build the hype for our game and give it a good impression."
*four minutes in*
Grumps: "WE'LL BE ABLE TO FILL THE POTS WITH, UH, HORSE LIQUIDS"
This is way too painful to watch...
I know. Wtf was Ross doing ?