The Link Between Happiness & Marriage | Jordan Peterson Motivation
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2024
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I always say being a parent is the most important job u will have and marriage will b the most difficult.. but af tree et u have been married to that person for 20 years and they die it’s like losing an arm or a leg, a physical part of u..
Struggling at the moment, wife is finding motherhood very hard and is feeling depressed again. We're uk family in nz, we've got plenty friends but life is tough. I'm going to church with my little boy now thanks to Dr Peterson which also gives my wife a break. Being a Dad, Husband and business owner is tough graft but building my son up to be a good person makes it manageable somehow
Good on you for not giving up! Blessed Be!
It's crucial that dad's take their kids to church. Imperative ! Kids are more likely to continue to attend mass when they leave home than if only Mom takes them to church (studies done on it)
It’s most likely her diet. Try organic fruit, grass fed finished meat and drink water
'OUR' son. Don't lose the connectivity between you. Ever. The language we use every day tells all about how we view our experience. Your experience is now as a family, with your wife and child. The language is 'us', 'ours', 'we'. Use that language practice to help you strengthen your bond. Xx
Keep going. You are doing God's work. Pray many times a day.
Whoever's reading this, i pray that whatever you're going through gets better and whatever you're struggling with or worrying about is going to be fine and that everyone has a fantastic day! Amen
I appreciate the good wishes, Mr. Bot
Pray for the children without limbs!
God Bless you! 🙏😄
Thank you so much
Well my wife has told me that she no longer loves me and has zero emotions for me. So this is info I should have showed.
You are a huge force for promoting traditional marriage. Thanks for all of your effort. 🙏
A lot of times. JP's talks are the only thing I have between life and the abyss. Thank you
just finished a carl yung book that said “the line that holds order is always fragilely close to falling away to chaos.” It requires constant vigilance
yeah and after that look into the quran you will find a lot of meaning in that if thats what youre searching for.
@@bobthebuilderhecanbuildit**Jung** my friend.
I love this guy💐🥂❤️. JP just talks a lot of common sense ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
These days aka uncommon sense.
You cannot just go out looking for someone to marry. It does not work like that. Live your life with an open heart. Be honest. You may naturally find someone you can share your life with. When you do, you will know. I have been blessed with a women I have married 36 years ago. Nothing is easy in long relations but it is fantastic.
How did you know she was the one you wanted to share your life with?
How did you get through 36 years?
It's the most practical and honest advice on how to create a fulfilling marriage to me. Thank you, Jordan and the team.
God bless Professors Jordan Peterson and more power
Thank you Jordan Peterson
The link is between suffering and marriage.
We should know this before getting married.
This way more(I would even say most) people would remain truly happily married.
We have to remember that we are imperfect. That way we know what we have to do to keep the spark alive!
Love your videos! Thanks for all of the wonderful advice that you share with us!
Less than 5% of married men are "happily married". They will lie that they are because if they tell the truth their wife will ruin their lives.
Marriage is a losing proposition for men. We told you fee mails this and you refused to listen to us. I hope you like cats.
Less than 5% of married men are "happily married".
@@MrWinstonSmithR101a I love cats but my husband is allergic, so guess what I did. I chose dogs so he could be comfortable because he is considerate and loving, he gets that in return and then some. 25 years and counting. Maybe I know something y'all aren't seeing because your anger is too much to allow common sense to vibe with you in relationships. If it didn't work, maybe the adage "try, try again" is feasible.
@@MrWinstonSmithR101a females. Not fee mails. Smh
As a young guy its hard to want marriage but I want a family. If I cant find the right person I am content with adopting. Commitments like this are very hard.
Marriage is a losing proposition. Children are not worth it. Just talk to Joshua John Nolan to see why you should not have kids. They might turn out like him.
@@MrWinstonSmithR101a I dont know where I stand but I have an open mind. I've seen marriage do well and fall hard. I dont want to lose my identity or give up any of my dreams
How selfish of you. Children need BOTH parents to grow up well adjusted and become a productive member of society. Who will raise your children while you're working? You need a partner.
Please DO NOT have children. You think a committed relationship is hard? Kids are wayyyy harder.
Grow up.
@@energeticsoulhealer888 appreciate your empathy in your response. Adopting a kid with 0 parents and giving them one is better than none. I will never marry someone who I do not believe is right. You shouldnt be so willing to judge others
@@RGE_Music You are welcome to go and talk to Joshua John Nolan. You will see why you don't want children if you do.
Great advice as always.
Very beautifully edited
Bless you, Dr. Peterson, thank you for striving to improve our human existence!
lots of wisdom as always 🙂
Um no he is a jackass
Thank you! 🙏
I'm a big fan Dr. but you can never sell me on marriage until we've hard a complete overhaul of the family court system. The risks simply outweigh my desire for a family.
Agreed. The way modern women act these days they just fucking rinse you and fuck off. JP is talking of marriage in a different time, there is a reason marriage rates are going down the stats are there.
Sow in tears and you'll reap in joy
Loving the new content
Good advice. Thanks Jordan.
Thank you!
It’s difficult to contemplate the concept of marriage when the possibility of finding a spouse is as elusive as a wistful dream.
Marriage is a losing proposition for a man.
@@MrWinstonSmithR101a just settle
@@TimurPasha Nope. I teach young men to never get married and never have children because it's not worth it.
@@MrWinstonSmithR101a you teach nobody that’s why you are here arguing in youtube comments 🤣 might as well tell them to off them selfs bc your wife and kids are 1/3 of your life if not more.
@@MrWinstonSmithR101a I'd say having kids should be a vocation, like becoming a priest.
I don't think there should be any social pressure to have or not have any kids; similarly to people who become priests or nuns, you should only have kids if you feel a genuine desire and inclination to start a family; I don't, therefore I won't have kids.
I think it's as simple as that.
Ty so much bro 🙌🙌👍
This video is fantastic.
Is there someone who knows that beautiful music in the background?
Chopin - Nocturne in C sharp minor, Op. Posth
What if you're doing your best to stay in the relationship but you feel unappreciated? I'm not the person who ask too much. Actually to try to do everything I can, but I feel like in time, he now expect me to do everything every time. And when I don't do it he makes me feel it is my obligation to do so.
Modern American marriages are all about the woman's happiness. Everything revolves around her. If she is unhappy or even bored for 5 seconds....the man starts sweating because he knows that is grounds for divorce or her (justifiably) cheating.
She's likely having post partum depression. Get over yourself
And how do people know with a reliable degree of certainty that their marriage won't fall apart knowing that half of all marriages end in divorce? That can cause a lot of grief, heartache, and financial turmoil, especially if kids factor into the equation.
That stat is only because we make divorce easy. If couples married knowing it's hard work, and it's not all about sex and fulfilling desires, and you will have ups and downs, and understood how fulfilling it is to grow old with the one you love and who loves you back (not the fluffy love), then alot more people would remain married.
It's totally a coin flip, man. Has no correlation whatsoever with the number of previous sex partners! So don't use your head, just worry and above all DO NOT HAVE KIDS! Make sure to borrow lots of money and pay it back with interest! Be sure to spend it all on consumer goods and expensive but ultimately unnecessary things like nice cars!
Exactly. There are problems with marriage today, but it isn't a simple problem. The feminists try to convince everyone that women simply get payed less than men from a single 0.75:1 ratio; ignoring the reasons that might be the case (career area, familly/work balance, overtime, agreeability, etc). Hopefully most people who have listened to Dr. Peterson realize it isn't that easy, and that you have to subdivide the data to get an idea of what is actually happening. The same reductionist approach is being applied to marriage. There are risk factors (money, sex, cohabitation, religion, attitude towards children) that can and should be attended to in order to reduce the risk of divorse to rates that make marriage a tenable proposition once again. Let's put our houses in order, then work on the systematic problems of marriage.
Legislators should make divorce and adultery illegal, which would keep more people together. Marriage is supposed to be "until death do us part". Divorces can destroy people's lives, especially when children are involved.
I'm from Berlin Germany, I always had an incredible passion for living life to its fullest, hopeful and romantic but I always strive to believe the good within everyone. I'm straightforward, honest about my needs and feelings too, been hurt couple of times but it's okay. I'm looking for an equally positive partner who loves to try new experiences and a great communicator.
+1
74724
86326
Join them together and send me a message ☺️
Always wonderful to hear you. You know. What about people who get damaged by a marriage? I am a survivor of domestic violence & rape. I was always a true love girl. Still get called naive, still get taken advantage of a lot. It never occurs to me that someone would lie- it doesn’t cross my mind because why say something why bother speaking if you’re not speaking truth? Apparently I might be a little autistic.
But my question is what do you do if you’re not married or able to find a partner? I’ve never had a lack of men hitting on me- it just doesn’t make me feel very comfortable. I thought I would just be able to- I thought it would just be ok with time. But that marriage ended in 1999 & I have not been able to be in a relationship- I have had flings. But not that complete trust & best friendship connection. My ex & I were very happy for the first 5 years- but then he fell off the wagon & I never saw my best friend again. And it’s going on 24 years & I am worried I won’t ever be able to trust or relax or have a full connection. Always waiting for the other shoe & running at the first warning sign. I also am introverted & enjoy being by myself a lot - would be nice to have someone I can be alone with. But my question is can we find happiness in solitude? Because I’m worried I may not be capable anymore like something inside got broken.
If you want to know how to be happy in solitude, maybe you can ask a nun.
I see a lot of myself in how you described yourself. I'm sorry that all of that happened to you. You deserve love and happiness, and you sound like a beautiful person.
I just got married to my partner of 6 years. I am very introverted and he is very extroverted, but he has learned to give me space when I need to be alone. It is still difficult sometimes. Before him, I didn't think I would ever marry... I am not someone to want to be with another person 24/7, and a lot of people don't try to understand that.
I wish that I had good advice for you, but love is so different for every person. I love Jordan's videos on relationships - it has helped mine immensely. I sincerely hope you find exactly what you're looking for. Being content with being alone is not something that everyone is capable of. I think it is a good quality, but I also believe that humans need companionship, whether that is a relationship or close friends. If you are ever in need a friend, let me know. I've been there.
What is the piano piece? It goes very well with this video, which has great advice.
Its too late for me , i already messed up once ....but if your married listen 🙏
Wow, this is good. 🙏🔥🙌
For a husband and father, be faithful to God, your wife, and family. Be a good provider knowing you can never provide enough. Make sure your wife knows she is beautiful and worthy of great love . For a wife and mother, be faithful to God, your husband, and family. Be a good housewife and make sure you bonk him regularly. Bonk him and he will forgive and forget any of your flaws.
Marriage is a losing proposition for a man. We teach young men to never get married.
@@MrWinstonSmithR101a It’s best avoided.
The Bible tells us not to deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a short time, to devote oneself to prayer. Then to come together again so that Satan will not tempt us. The husband does not have authority over his body, but his wife does, and the wife does not have authority over her body, but her husband does.
So many Christians disobey God in this regard, and the sexless marriage leads to adultery (which is still very much u justified).
Beautiful
What is the name of the background song ?
Chopin - Nocturne in C sharp minor, Op. Posth
Your relationship doesn't need to be negotiated. Communication isn't asking for permission or negotiating, its putting what you want on the table and realising you both want the same thing and figuring out how to get it. As a man, you should take the lead in this role, but it doesn't mean you dominate it. And if you don't want the same thing, you figure out how to both get what you want, and if this wasn't possible, then you have a relationship that doesn't work. This only works as well when what you both want is not based around short term desires but a desire for the good of your family and the good of the other.
Jordan is great, but his issue is the idea of negotiating within a relationship rather than communicating. Negotiating is adversarial and disagreeable in nature; communicating is communitive and cooperative in nature.
I've often found it jarring how Jordan Petersen uses the term "negotiating" in marriage. It sounds business like and transactional.
However, as being "precise in your speech" is one of Petersen's 12 rules, there's clearly a reason why he uses that term over "communicating".
I believe that the word "communication" is associated with a certain kind of vagueness, wooliness and an especially therapeutic kind of intervention. It's also associated more with women, hence the above connotations.
"Negotiating", on the other hand suggests that there are tangibles to a situation which can be worked out. It's a more masculine style of relating (hence your description of it being: "adversarial" and "disagreeable").
Implicit in that word is the suggestion that the husband will take the lead in initiating those "negotiations".
It also ties into Petersen's archetypal view of order being masculine and chaos being feminine.
"Negotiating" is very orderly, "communicating" whilst not totally chaotic, is less defined; there's more wiggle room.
Thanks for your post; it got me thinking about things which I'd merely intuited before.
Men and women don't want the same things from a relationship, which is why it's more of a 'negotiation'.
If you're looking for someone of the opposite sex that wants the same things as you then you'll be searching for a long time.
@@Marc_Lambert This is an error of what I mean. Its not wanting the same thing from each other, that's obviously impossible and not gonna happen, but wanting the same thing from the relationship.
@@luxither7354 I'm not sure what you mean by "wanting the same thing from the relationship".
How can a man and woman simultaneously want different things from each other, but also want the same thing from a relationship? Isn't that a contradiction?
Women don't need a leader
What's this beautiful piano music?
Chopin - Nocturne in C sharp minor, Op. Posth
Name of the music please?
Chopin - Nocturne in C sharp minor, Op. Posth
What's the classical music in the background?
lovely
What happens of your par tee doesn't want to do the work? What happens when they don't like to have that hard conversation
Taking notes at 18
Checking in! How’s it going at 19?
Happiness is not related to marriage. It's related to finding a dedicated and good honest partner. People don't understand the difference. Marriage is just a tradition that was once used to ship wealthy families and use Kings daughters and sons as politcal tools to legally bind them. Marriage evolved over time. We now use it differently.
But Marriage does not equal dedicated partner. Marriage also does not equal a partner in general. Marriage is just a piece of paper and a name of a ceremony. A partner and a dedicated one at that is a PERSON not a contract.
Marriage is a contract. A partner is a person. You don't need to get married to have a partner. And you can get married and still never have a partner. Marriage is just a tool. It doesn't actually do anything. You have to make and build a relationship. Relationship does not mean marriage.
if marriage is nothing but suffering, then i forgo marriage. unless my wife is as much of a loving asshole as me.
I personally hated being married.. never felt so alone as when I was married
Same
Would anyone tell me the name of the melody in the background?
Also searching like crazy :D
Chopin - Nocturne in C sharp minor, Op. Posth
@@TheDH264 i checked it out, it isnt
@@andrewalcala4170 damn it sounded so similar, ill check again. it is definitely one of Chopin's pieces
I am struggling and we’re engaged, not even married.
A bit depressing to set up a life where even the smallest degree of happiness would pretty much be "a welcomed surprise".
So is perpetual suffering and frustration the default destiny for the average man? I'll tell you, this doesn't exactly make me excited for my future...
I also found it depressing.
Background music?
Anyone?
I Know How To Have A Loving Relationship. I Just Need A Lady To Actually Love Me Back & Want To Be With Me. Not My Money.
Change your onscreen name "serpent". lol lol. If you're giving a serpent vibe (along with three 6's) who's going near you? 😅
I have been married and very unhappy
❤
The hardest part is trying to find someone that you would like to marry lol
Social media ruined it
When the only time a partner acts like you are an important part of their life is before and during intimacy, that is not a relationship. Women want a companionship with sex on the side. Men want sex with a companionship on the side. Causes a lot of divorce.
2:10
There's gonna be a lot of unhappy people.
Why
Married men and single women are the happiest. Tells a story hey?
If you want to be happy, don’t get married. Simples.
But the happiness found in lifelong marriage and raising a family is almost unparalleled.
@@SaraKkkkkkkk who cares about happiness? That's a childish wish. Meaning is what's worth pursuing.
@@josephbrandenburg4373 I was just using the terminology that CL was using. Meaning often has an element of happiness, but sure, seeking only happiness isn't a great objective. I prefer the term Joy.
@@SaraKkkkkkkk i should have replied to the other guy with that comment lol
marriage is not necessary
I was not expecting this to be where all the incels came out of the woodwork. I guess I should have.
I'm a woman and I agree with JPB. What are you even talking about? Do you have a problem?
@@solaveritas2 I think you misunderstand me. I was making an observation on the type of people commenting. You may notice a significant proportion of people talking about how they will be forever alone and it's all women's fault, how divorce court is so unfair, how "wamen" and "fee mails" are the worst thing on the planet, etc.
I strongly disagree with this sentiment, if further clarification is needed.
I totally agree. It’s a shame that men and women are bitter against each other. More marriages, strong marriages, are needed to save the messed up society we live in.
@@ChristopherRoss. Someone who has been burned by marriage and is cautious and warns others about the reality of modern marriage is not an incel. By definition, if a man has been married, he has not been involuntarily celibate. If he chooses to not marry again, that still does not mean he is either voluntarily or involuntarily celibate. Peterson spends a lot of time talking about men's issues and challenges in modern society. If dissing men is your thing, perhaps Peterson is not for you.
@@jeffrichey3623 Wow. People really seem to want to jump down my throat and put words in my mouth over a simple observation about the kinds of comments I'm seeing on this video, and making some judgments as to my character. I don't know why I'm bothering to engage, but in the interest of truth, and perhaps a little more peace on the internet, here goes.
"Incel" as a term (at least as far as I have come to understand the vernacular) has expanded beyond its original definition to mean more the type of person to hang out at the incel 4chan board than someone who can't get laid. These people have a very specific mode of speech and the same three talking points they will hit from 17 different angles. They are dogmatic in their zealotry: only wishing to convert, completely closed to any kind of conversation or counter argument, and condescending--even downright combative--to anyone who thinks differently than them. Further they are fiercely misogynistic. Not how the left seems to define anything that doesn't elevate women to the point of godhood as misogynistic, but an actual fierce _hatred_ of women on whom they place the blame for the suffering of being.
This label I use as a short hand for describing a particular group of actions, not for 'group identity'. It is descriptive, not prescriptive.
My original comment was an observation of surprise in seeing these people flooding the comments of this video in droves. I find them distasteful, if only because incels (as defined above) don't take personal responsibility for anything, and offload all of their problems onto "the fee mails" as a group, instead of holding wrongdoers to account as individuals. Further I detest closedmindedness and dogmatism.
I agree in that I think that the legal institution of marriage is broken as far as divorce is concerned. I have no qualms about that. But there is a difference between being burned by a bad system, or a particular bad person in a bad system, and the concept of marriage or even wholesome female companionship as a whole.
I don't like, nor do I think fair, the insinuation that because I detest misogyny, I must therefore be a misandrist. No, I detest both in equal measure. The same way that I detest any idea that pre-judges anyone based on their group identity, rather than who they are as an individual.
Further, you may have noticed at a few points in this post that I am no stranger to Dr. Peterson's ideas. I've been following his work since the 2016 incident at U of T--so yes, I think its fair to say that Peterson's teachings are for me. And because of that I know that he places a high value on marriage and the traditional family institution, so I don't think that hiding behind him while decrying marriage at every turn is particularly useful. Put another way, if dissing marriage is your thing, perhaps Peterson is not for you.
Marriage = Unhappiness.
Yet there are nuns and priests who are not active in that way.
So short minded. You truly are a culture Warrior.
Be better
This a a complete non sequitur. He's talking about the relationship within a marriage and how to make that work, not about what to do or not to do if you choose to be celebate. You are the one not getting it but you berate him?
God doesn't give the gift of celibacy to most people. And plenty of those priests have been guilty of misbehavior because they chose celibacy in spite of God not having given them the gift.
Romantic relationships are not a beautiful thing. Romance causes a lot of problems in this world. Life is a lot better without romance than it is with it. Romantic love is not special at all, and I think that the romantic type of love isn't real. More than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, And most couples who are still together are usually not happy being together.
Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships.
It comes down to fear. You have to keep the fear in the heart of your partner so they don't get out of hand❤️. Be brutal if you have to, but just remember by the end of the day gotta fuck 🤪
Marriage is dead and women killed it.
No it isn't and no we didn't. Men aren't any more perfect than we are. Flaws are the spice, how you handle flaws is the glue that binds a happy marriage. I've had a bad one [he cheated] now I have a wonderful marriage with a man I wouldn't trade for the world. If it has been ugly, first figure out what you did wrong, then figure out why she did what she did. And do NOT take the easy way out, we don't grow when we don't bother to see our own flaws.
Both men & women are to blame. I'm not some ying yang hippy, but you have to admit that there is a balance necessary of feminine and masculine energy for things to have order. So in that sense, a cultures women are only as good as their male counters and vice versa. The main fault cannot lie specifically with one gender. We live in a time of such weak, virtue-lacking men, it only makes sense the women would follow down that path. This doesn't mean however that there aren't good people still out there, it's just harder to find them. And in some ways, that rareness of truly good women & men, makes it even more valuable now when they do come together.
Exactly. Marriage is over. Fee mails attacked us in the divorce courts and refused to stop when we told them to.
@@mamamoon65 Marriage is over. Fee mails attacked us in the divorce courts and refused to stop when we told them to.
@@mamamoon65 All fee mails support the criminal abuse of men in divorce courts. All fee mails. There are no exceptions.
Marriage is a losing proposition. Children are not worth it. Just talk to Joshua John Nolan to see why you should not have kids. They might turn out like him.
Why would you take marriage advice from a divorced incel like JP
I can't believe the cowardice... The pure lack of balls... Its not about right now. You do not want to be 55 years old with nobody. No children...thats a bad choice. But to wach their own...
Thank you 🙏👍
Thank you very much Sir ❤❤