How to Not NEED as Much Motivation to do the Thing
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- Опубликовано: 28 май 2024
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There are 2 ways to handle not feeling motivated to do a thing it's important to you to do.
1. Increase motivation...
Or
2. decrease the need for it
This video explores the second one. :)
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"The Show Must Be Go”, “Carefree”, “Life of Riley”, “Bittersweet”
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
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#ADHDawarenessmonth #ADHD #motivation
Something I’ve realized recently is that those of us with ADHD HATE doing things when we feel like we are being forced to do them. I’m almost like a stubborn child when it comes to this.
“Gameifying” and reminding yourself that you actually want to do X or Y are helpful.
This is similar to how, when I’m planning to do a thing, and someone asks me/tells me to do it, my brain immediately puts on the breaks and says “well I was GOING to and now you’ve told me to and that just ruined all of everything and I hate the idea and I don’t want to do it now!”
Like them mentioning it literally details my motivation entirely.
Especially if they asked me to do it and I said yes and then they started doing it because I wasn’t fast enough. Like... I didn’t realize you had a time limit in mind?
Any tips on gamifying?
@kris omg same!!! I hate being rushed 😅
I hate being told what to do, especially if I am in the process of doing it. I just leave it and do something else. IDK how to overcome this. When I am reminded about a deadline, I miss it. But if I am not reminded, I stick to it. What's up with that?
@@danatekhlay6304 I believe How To ADHD actually has a video on that!
Me trying to be motivated to watch this video
No kiddin
It unsettles me to know I wasn't the only one. I'm literally forcing myself to stay and watch.
@@wolfenstein652 ofc it happens to me every time we are same bro😅😅
And I loves youse tooz sometimes it's just like a freaking war going on like I wanna win and it's not only a game cuz I made it one but which game am I trying to win at and when? Why NOW? LOL it's so true looooves you, 🧠 👑💋 you rule!!
Hahahahahajzjz trueeee😂😅😅😅😂😂
I cried for hours today cause I couldn't do my college assignments that are overdue. Thank you so so much for this video, I needed this today ❤️
Dude same, this was perfect timing!
@@texasbadger2574 Glad it wasn't just me! 😊
@@charmedpipper1 sameeee
Same bro. I get a microbiology exam due Friday and it’s so hard to study and I really want to. I don’t know how much longer I can do this without meds. You got this tho
You got this! 👍
Top 5 Ways to Shorten the Motivational Chasm:
01:51 = 1. Break the tasks down into smaller chunks
02:36 = 2. Reduce barriers to doing the task
03:11 = 3. Make the task itself easier
04:04 = 4. Get support with the task
04:32 = 5. Ride the wave
I decided to write this down for myself, so might as well share for those who need it written like I do.
Thank you!!! I was just about to write that a summary would really help! I was listening to it but not really absorbing it. Will screenshot your comment 😁
thank u so much!!! 😭
Thanks
Thanks I knew I wasn’t the only one that forgot some of them along the way….
Thank you Michael!
"Riding the wave" is SO me. If I decide/feel that NOW is the moment to do the thing I've been putting off I KNOW I have to do it RIGHT NOW because God only knows when I'll have the resources/motivation to do it another time...
Oh gosh. I feel that. Especially with menstruation and all the stuff. Sometimes it just ain't the day and when it is... it needs to be done RIGHT NOW! Alas... Can't reach some institutions in the middle of the night LUL. But that's what e-mails are for.
Agreed. It’s so frustrating, as a teen, when I have to do something RIGHT NOW but I have to go to bed instead. Makes my head explode.
may or may not have gone to sleep at 5 am, because I hit the flow and well now i have to finish all those projects I started and couldn't bring myself to finish before and that's how long it took....
reasonable schedule? what reasonable schedule? RIDE THE WAVE. sigh... /flop over
Me too!!! I can NEVER use daily planners to plan in advance how my week will look, or even really create a weekly template for what I do each AM/PM. I know for a fact I will be feeling up for something differently depending on the day so I use reverse to-do lists and just roll with the punches most days. If it has a deadline, just seeing the impending deadline on my monthly summary in bright red ink will give me the motivation once it's like a week out hahaha.
I essentially can only do things when "I feel like it", it's like I have not just a wave but a waterfall or a hurricane
if I feel like doing something, I carries you at a very high speed (things like hyperfocus or when you wanna do something but can't and it feels almost physically unbearable not to do it)
and if I don't feel like it, it's like trying to swim upwards a waterfall and even the easiest things feel like torture :c
I have no idea why, but if I frame these helpful tips as "ways to overcome a problem" they never work. If I however frame them as "sneaky ways to trick my brain" they can work wonders.
It's like gameifying but the end goal isn't getting stuff done, it's about making that side of you that's struggling make the pikachu face when you fool it into getting things done.
I did this with hampers recently! I often just dump clothes wherever. I bought hampers for every common place I drop clothes to not give my brain any wiggle room to cop out.
Now the trick is to remember to actually wash the clothes...
Thanks for sharing
It's funny; I'm the opposite. I was raised in an emotionally abusive home and dealt with a lot of lying, trickery, and smugness afterward, so I hate the idea of tricking myself. It actually makes it hard to research solutions for my issues because "tricking your brain" or your disorder is such a popular idea that it's mentioned almost everywhere, yet reading about it makes me feel almost nauseated.
yes!! I use sooooo many brain tricks to get myself to do things. it works really well. I think it makes me feel smart bc I outsmarted myself 🤣
I getcha. It amuses me that I'm able to trick myself while also being aware and intentional with it.
One thing that has really helped me is "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly". Eg, it doesn't matter if it's done properly or perfectly. As long as I do it, at all, even if that's the bare minimum, that's okay. And not just okay, but excellent! And that can help build habits so it's easier and easier to do things properly.
Thanks for sharing
I hear you, but that just feels so WRONG for me.
Mind you, I'm Pennsylvania Dutch. In addition to my ADHD, I'm a type A personality by both genetics and upbringing. (No way to dodge THAT bullet!) To give you a taste of my upbringing: my childhood pastor's favorite verse seemed to be "Be ye perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect", emphasis on the PERFECT. Yeah - try shaking that off even after a lifetime.
What my wife and I tell ourselves, at least with respect to the housework, is that "any bit of cleaning blesses the house". It's OK if we only did 1 small thing: it made our house better. There's the added bonus of what my wife's family calls "Chickie Murphy" syndrome: one bit of cleaning leads to another because you notice something else that needs doing. (It's basically the momentum Jessica mentioned in the video, with a specific house-cleaning angle.)
I like this because it sounds like it'll help solve procrastination caused by perfectionism, which I'm guilty of doing a lot. I feel pressure to do whatever the task is perfectly because that was a lot of the kind of pressure I felt growing up. I don't think I'll end up doing tasks poorly saying this but I do think it'll make it feel alright if I wasn't perfect or didn't have the energy to do better. I appreciate this
Perfection is the enemy of good
@@ldbarthel yup, I don't like doing dishes, but once I actually get started it can be easy to keep going, and then wipe the benches down, start organising things. Ride that energy/interest wave and focus it on things with a concrete outcome that you can point your brain to and think "see, we got a lot of useful stuff done, remember that positive feeling next time!"
One way that works great for me is to pick a song you like, tell yourself you'll finish a small task (like getting dressed) by the time the song is over, then play it and do it quickly. Super rewarding for adhd brain lol
I do this!! It really helps!!
I race against the kettle in the morning to empty the dishwasher, I get rewarded with a hot cuppa afterwards! 😊 I get so ridiculously fast towards the end if it's about to boil and I'm not quite finished 🤣
Creates the urgency but in a fun way. Very nice.
Sometimes I find it helps me more if I time myself to see how long something actually took me vs using a countdown timer since then I’ll be constantly aware of the time and can’t focus on what I’m doing. Figured I’d throw this alternative out there in case it helps when urgency isn’t helpful or needed.
That’s awesome!
“Grew up feeling like we couldn’t do anything right. Like we had to prove ourselves and our worth”
Now that hit close to home.
I know how you feel.
Yes.
Your original video was the reason I got tested a few months ago and finally diagnosed with Inattentive-ADHD at 32. I was burning out HARD last year and at serious risk of losing my job and my home. Thank you for your passion and effort, your videos have really helped me 🖤
You win this round.
Aw wow! I'm so happy to hear you're getting the answers and support you need. Hugs!!!
@@HowtoADHD we love you so much!!!
I'm right here with you, friend. I burnt out of teaching BIG TIME last year, and even though I'm glad I quit my job, it has been really hard to make ends meet the last few months.
I’m 46 and got diagnosed last year
This is so helpful! I also find that using color helps me so much to get motivated. Sometimes I clean “by color” like anything I see that’s blue, I take care of it. Blue dishes to the sink, blue wrappers to the trash, blue clothes to the washing machine. It’s scattered and not as efficient as other ways that I clean but it starts the motivation train enough to get me going at a better pace!
That's so smart and sounds even fun
OoO I like that one! It's like a scavenger hunt!
That sounds really fun! Thank you for sharing this!
Nice! I'm going to try this. Thank you for the tip!
Oh wow that sounds so fun tbh 😁 I'm gonna try this one hehe
One of the challenges I have is once I break my task down into more manageable size tasks the overall picture looks so overwhelming that I have absolutely no motivation to do any of it… as one of us that has ADHD along with depression, motivation deficit, trauma and burnout…. I get to the point where I could care less if the task ever happens…🥺
I try to visually separate it. First I make a list of the "medium" steps, then I turn the page so I can't see the list and write the first step at the top of that page and list the small steps under it. It doesn't always work, but I try to only think about the small steps for that day.
same rip also ive been trying to trick my brain for so long in so many ways tht its like nah not this time homie i still dont think its happening lmao
Something I've found helps me when I don't want to do any of the tasks on the broken down list because it all feels overwhelming is to remind myself that doing one thing is better than doing no things. That, and physically writing it down if I'm holding the information in my brain. Either I feel like it's more approachable, or I feel validated in feeling a bit overwhelmed. And seeing a long list helps me understand that no, completing it all at once isn't realistic, because I never manage to cross more than 4 things off of a daily task list
one thing I do is to only determine the NEXT small step, not separate them all in advance. So I can make myself believe that only this small step is required. Then if all goes well, I can ride the wave a little and not have to determine the next small step until I've done more than that first one, without thinking about it too much. Lists/checklists are very overwhelming to me so I prefer going in "blind" kinda.
@@radiomandelbrot5868 Nice tip! Planning everything out sometimes just seems like writing a list of failures that are yet to happen, because nothing ever goes completely to plan and I never know how long things will take. One step is (hopefully) doable, and it takes less planning! 😁
Also, I like how you've essentially taken Jess' "don't do more than required" tip and applied it to another tip (breaking things down into smaller tasks). Very cool.
Jess this is the eternal dilemma.
Whether it's procrastinating, over thinking what's already been done (did I do it properly, etc ) or self-distracting to not do it... I swear some days I wish I could have a transplant or something to address this.
At this point in my life... I would not have chosen this. If I could make it go away, I would.
I'm looking at a $50KAUD savings goal to fix something that my ADHD was instrumental in destroying. I don't think I'll be able to not hate having ADHD until I've done that. I'm gamifying it. Projected to take about 5 years.
There's something darkly twisted about a disability that requires good executive function to manage, literally the system that is not functioning correctly. I'm not saying the universe hates me, but...
@@MsJazbren that's just how mental problems work in the modern day. We have to learn to manage our mental problems. The good part though is that we have ways to help everyone manage what they want
I’m guessing we all have to do lists, but maybe a ta da list is also helpful. Make a separate list of the things you did and sometimes it is surprising what we actually get done. Then reward your self
Love this!
Thanks for sharing
That’s a great idea. I’m going to try this!
I sometimes do this on days where I felt like I didn't do much and get upset with myself because of it. And I personally must say that it helps me, I always do more than I think I do because I'm (usually) more focused on what I didn't.
This is something I do (...when I can remember to), and it's so great. It makes me feel like "I'm getting things done today! I'm on a roll and can get more done!" even when the things on the list aren't what I intended to do. I do find it works best if I write them down as soon as I do them, though, because who can remember things until the end of the day? Certainly not me. Plus, then when you read over it at the end of the day, you'll be surprised at how long the list is and feel good instead of feeling bad because you can't remember doing anything.
If you haven’t already done it I’d love a video on HOW to break projects into smaller chunks. It’s the biggest advice everywhere but sometimes when I have a big project, I know I have to break into smaller steps to get it done but it’s like my brain literally can’t conceive of how this 1 big thing can be several smaller things.. and even if I do come up with multiple steps, they’re in a chaotic order and not actually step by step (like having “edit paper” first on my list before I’ve written the thing)
That’s my problem too! Like just…..how do you split things into small steps? It sounds so easy I know, but I just don’t know how
I don't know if this is what is actually meant by breaking down the steps, but what I do is only focus on the first step, in your example that could be to gather information about the topic of your paper. Once that's done, I'll think about the next step and the next step only, let's say write the introduction. And so on. If these steps are still too big, you can break them down even more, like getting to your desk, then opening your laptop, then going on the Wikipedia page of your topic, then searching through other websites, then maybe through a book...
I use this when cleaning a room. Example, the bathroom. Instead of the overwhelming thought of having to clean my WHOLE bathroom, i tell myself, first just clean the mirror. Then wipe down the vanity. Wipe down the sink. Scrub the interior of the toilet. Wipe exterior of toilet. Spray shower with cleaner. Use a little elbow grease on shower. Rinse shower. Shake rug. Vacuum floor. Wipe down floor or mop the floor. Change out towels. Take out the trash. Whoa, suddenly the WHOLE bathroom is DONE! On bad days we could break it down further: Walk to the spot where supplies are stored. Get your cleaner. Walk to the bathroom. Spray the cleaner. Wipe the cleaner up. Rinse. Etc. I realize I do this automatically with 'ROOM' tasks, now I want to try to apply it to other tasks to break them down when I am overwhelmed.
@@kyliecarpenter4806 read my reply above, maybe that will help
Paper breakdown so you don't have to make it yourself:
-Figure out how many paragraphs you need. (i guestimate abt 4 paragraphs per page for my papers. Look through past ones and see how many you have)
-Find paper 'Thesis'
-Find a Topic for each paragraph
-organize them so they flow better
-In each paragraph think of Points to support the Topic
-Research each topic if needed
- Intro and conclusion paragraphs are just previewing your Thesis and Topics
-Write one paragraph at a time
-If a paragraph is hard write one sentence per Point and try to connect them.
I may be terrible at researching but I'm fantastic at BSing papers.
This makes me feel such a huge level of comfort knowing that the reasons I do what I do, are explainable and normal for those like me
exactly this omg
You are not alone! There are millions like us, but we use to hide our struggles because we feel so ashamed about not being able to do simple tasks
I am autistic and I find I really struggle getting motivation for tasks. I spesificly struggle with homework like math (I'm quite slow at math), tasks you need to do multiple times (like making a weekly planning), cleaning, working out, and tasks with many steps can become overwhelming quickly for me. And then I get random bursts of anxiety because I didn't do the thing yet and I know I want to do it and I should do it. But I didn't for some reason.
I always think about it when it's not apropriate, like when I'm trying to sleep.
Also, this channel is a great source of information, also for neurodiverse brains who don't have ADHD, but do stuggle with (some of) the syptomes.
You could have ADHD as well as being autistic.
I think there's something called "autistic inertia", which makes starting tasks particularly difficult
I often struggle to start something I want to do (fun things) and instead just keep sitting on the couch scrolling my phone :c
@@martmantzt I could, but I only got diagnosed with autism very recently. I was also tested on ADHD and they were not spesific bout it, they said something like: "most of the ADHD syptomes you have, are also found in autism." And that's it.
So basicly I don't know
@@Yes_this_is_my_cat Good luck on your diagnosis journey. No one knows your mind like you do.
I’m autistic too and I believe I might have adhd as well, I haven’t told anyone yet though. I REALLY struggle just doing things! And also finishing them… and staying focused on them and everything in between. I am currently doing online school and my sisters finish before 11am and then there’s me doing my work until 4pm, and I ask my parents why and they just tell me you don’t just sit down and get the work done, even though I keep saying a physically can’t do it, they just don’t listen to me. They have worked out I have motivation and procrastination issues but they think it’s depression, and trust me, I’m not depressed! And if I am depressed it’s the inability to do tasks that is making me depressed, not depression giving me the inability to just do a task! I also get bored quite easily. On the weekends, as where I am it’s lockdown it’s really hard to find things to do, I try and find fun things to do but just keep going from one thing to another, (like I’ll watch the start of a RUclips video then click to go watch something else, then that’ll remind me I have a certain game on my iPad and play that for a bit, then I go back to RUclips etc) the only thing that really makes me have fun is calling my friends, and most of the time they are unable to for some reason, so I’m stuck in a never ending circle of boredom, then when I tell my parents I’m bored they tell me that I’m only bored cause I’m not doing things that they are suggesting and it’s just that I don’t find what they like to do fun. I also stay up later than I’m supposed to thinking about random things when I’m lying in bed. So idk if this is adhd or not but yeah pls someone help me (also that’s not all of what I think is adhd just some of the main points)
Thanks so much for this, I get a lot of the paralysis, sitting on the sofa staring into the abyss looking towards the endless depths...
me too
I’ve noticed that sometimes on bad days I will stop in a doorway and just stand there. Paralyzed. For minutes. Blah!
That was literally every single hour of my day today
Happens more times than I care to mention
Yeah, we can work on increasing our motivation. ...But here are some hacks so we don't NEED as much motivation :)
Hello
@obi wan you traitor
Both works! 😁
Your a true mind reader my friend this is exactly the problem I'm having right now, there is all this stuff I know I have to do but I can't even get motivated to do any of it !!! Your reading my thoughts my friend !!! I have ADHD too !!!
I laughed when I saw the vacuum robot! I had to get one of those. Makes at least one to-do thing easier... 😎👍❤
Dude I swear this girl is mind reader, this is exactly the problem I'm having right now, there is all this krap I have to do and I can't even get motivated to do any of it !!! This girl is litteraly reading my thoughts right now !!! She is mind reader I swear!!!
Uh… the “girl” is in her thirties, so can we maybe get in the habit of calling adults ladies or women instead?
The label of “girl” well into middle age, is deeply harmful. It’s a form of prejudice that promotes the idea that women are inferior or lack agency and need decisions made for them.
Jessica McCabe is not “a mind reader.” She’s intelligent, hardworking, has done a lot of research and runs a company. If you ran into a man like that, you wouldn’t call him “boy.” Have some respect.
I've started doing an exercise where i treat my "morning me" as someone I can help. I'm more motivated to set up my work out stuff, put a protein shake next to my medication, and clean up anything off my floor.
That's a great way to look at it. I'm always more motivated to help someone else than I am to help myself.
Nice! Your future self will thank you for it! 😍
Thank you for this video, I'm in bed trying to get myself to do a lot of homework.
Big big thanks from Canada 🙃
Struggling with the stigma of objective dysfunction and its perceived correlation to laziness has been one of the hardest struggles for me with ADHD.
I’m hoping others can relate to the shame of being unable to force yourself to do a much-needed task. It is a vicious cycle, as the shame demotivates me further, and the task list grows ever longer.
One small thing that helps me, especially in the “work vs play” conundrum, is if a task comes to mind, and I’m already up, I will immediately do that task. My mind often says “Just do it later”, but then chooses to forget about it later xD “You’re already up” has honestly been one of the best motivators for me!
i have been sitting at my desk for 4 hours staring at a mountain of school work. just made my super broken-down list of tasks and feeling ready to work!!! thank u as always
That's so great!! You got this!
I find setting a timer for a short period, like fifteen minutes, and trying to accomplish a set piece of the task before the artificial deadline can help. Love your videos.
That is very helpful.
yes some crazy people set the time to study for like 90mins?? i can't even stay focused 10mins... do i usually set it to how i feel 20, 25 or 30 but not more cause i know i won't be able to do that
It's not a bad idea my problem would be that I would forget where I left off and then I'd have to start over from scratch every time which would be pointless lol
I use a timer with tasks I hate, like sorting and filing receipts and bills and tasks that I am likely to lose track of time or make myself overtired like heavy weeding. I use alarms a lot too.
I have a hard time with this one. 15 is too long. I've heard try 5 minute and even that feels too long.
Thank you! I have always tried to explain to people that it feels like I literally cannot do something even if I want to. They usually assume that means depression or laziness. I've been depressed and I'm not anymore, but I still can't do the things. Sometimes I can do the things though, and I have no idea why.
It's like I wake up feeling good and drink just the right amount of coffee or something and for some reason things are just easier that day. I'm just wondering if there is a reason for this motivation? Is it random or is there something I can do to make it happen more often? Or maybe it's just hyperfocus?
I feel ya! I think for me when I have those random productive days, it's actually all getting done because I'm procrastinating something else that Should be done that time/day (vs. all these things that are still good to get done..or not..lol. but I should have done them at more appropriate times).
@@naurekk I relate so hard. If I need to do something that's difficult for me because it's boring or intimidating, I tend to avoid doing the thing by doing housework instead. Like I'm justifying the avoidance by telling myself that I needed to do laundry anyway. 🙄 this frustrates me to no end, but at least it is better than not doing the task AND not doing laundry. 🤷♂️🤦♂️ I wish I had a hack for knowing what needs to be prioritized.
This is 100% me. It feels like luck, and I don't know how to "summon" the luck, even when I do as much as I can to help, by having breakfast and my coffee and my meds all on time and playing music.... So much of the time, it *doesn't work* and I don't know why.
@@chimbo8741 that would be helpful if I could get into the habit of doing housework when I procrastinate doing something else.... Maybe someday. Right now I'm still trying to actually do housework at all.
I go through this too. You are not the only one. And same about the depression. Been there done that it's not that.
Lol, just yesterday on TikTok I posted I was stuck and asked folks to stitch up posts telling me to get to work, however they wanted, whether they wanted to yell and call me lazy or tell me about how they get motivated. Giving them permission to say things that normally might take away planks ended up giving me planks just knowing that they cared enough to support me at all. I almost got to and completed everything I wanted to do.
I cannot thank you enough for your channel! I got diagnosed at age 45 and that was it. Diagnosis. No explanation about how ADHD impacted my entire damn life, explains things I’ve done in my past and still feel guilty or embarrassed by or still harangue myself for. Your channel has helped me explain to my husband why I do things that he thinks I should just be able to stop doing. I just....I cannot thank you enough. Thank you so so much!
I've never been diagnosed with ADHD but this really, really resonates with me. I've got a dozen unfinished projects on my plate at any given time, and no motivation to do anything about it. It feels overwhelming and I don't know where to start, sometimes I'll go out in the garage and try to get something done and after about 5 minutes just go back in the house, or just stand around with a beer in my hand.
Watching this and sobbing because I’ve never felt so seen. I’ve been struggling so much with adhd and lacking motivation. Combining that with depression, anxiety, burnout, and trauma and I’m just having the hardest time doing even the smallest things. Thank you so much for the content you make.
The motivation bridge metaphor video was the first one I watched that led me to seek an adhd diagnosis. Thank you for what you do!! ❤️
Building off the tip to break things down large tasks into smaller parts, I find it really helpful to frame it as I'm doing "future me" a favor. That way, if I end up procrastinating and waiting until the last minute (which is likely haha), I have at least taken some of the burden off future me's shoulders!
I'm the opposite. I frame it as I'll do this little bit and 'future me' can deal with the rest.
I tend to be nasty to future me 😂 but if I pretend the menial task is for someone else, like I'm cleaning for my bf or for my sister instead of just myself then I feel better about doing it. Or I pretend I'm someone's personal assistant and have a very scary boss lmao
@@jeng6786 I actually love that too!
Really great timing, i feel really demotivated rn and not well and i have alot of school work to do rn, thank you so much, your such a great person *hugs*
I'm with you on the 'great timing' bus 🚍 💪
I'm in the same boat! We got this😜
Omg thanks you guys, good luck to you guys aswell stay safe!!
Just what I needed to read 255+ pages of dry theory for uni this week
Smart reading helps me! Defining what questions you have of the text or what you need to understand from it before you start reading. That way you don't have to get overwhelmed with all the ideas there and just keep focused on those particular aims of the reading instead ☺
Narrator: she did not, in fact, read the 255+ pages for the week. She was mostly just stuck in adhd paralysis mode.
I always tear up watching this channel. My whole life I thought I was the only one with these problems. It’s extremely comforting knowing I’m not, but it’s still hard knowing I am hardwired a certain way that inhibits me from achieving as quickly as I could without being this way
Thank you for much for this video! It came at the perfect time. I've got sooo much work I need to do and I've been struggling so hard to make an attempt with it. It's just been so difficult, I don't have the energy to do much. But I know this video can inspire me and many others too, I appreciate it so much! To everyone out there, you're not alone in this, we've got this together and we'll keep trying ❤️
@howtoadhd, for me this became even more difficult once menopause hit me. Having to motivate myself along with other things has become a lot more challenging.
Honestly I've noticed during certain points in my cycle my symptoms get worse. I'm not diagnosed yet, but one of the main things I've noticed is I am more forgetful and lose things easier while on my period, and have some issues during the week of ovulation. but the worst symptoms happen on my period. I've read that for women, this is something a lot of us notice and have issues with :/ It's rather annoying when I need to get stuff done
@@Beetletreuse I can relate, it is quite frustrating not being able to get stuff done like I once use to. Not sure if this will help you but what I’ve learned is to be gentle with myself and re-learning new methods to accomplish things I used to do with a lot less effort. I know it will take some time to re-learn new habits but my hope is that I can accomplish it. I really enjoy watching this channel as it helped me pick up tips on how to help myself.
Yes, I went through menopause early at 42 and I definitely have had more issues. I'm just figuring out that I have Inattentive ADHD.
Omg! These tips are SO helpful! I've definitely used the breaking tasks down into small ones. Even if it feels silly because it REALLY helps. I'm at a point in my life where I task myself with the small/simple to-dos and then immediately afterwards give myself a little applause saying, "Yayy, you did it! Good job!!
I love your tattoo self-love idea! Brilliant way to break the loop. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
my fave trick is to use sticky notes instead of writing lists. one task per sticky is the rule. putting the to-dos on the left side of the white board i can move them into an order that can be easily changed, or group them into categories or just pick the one that requires the least motivation that day. or the one with the most pressing deadline.
when a sticky gets done, i move it to the right side of the board so i can track my progress, which much more rewarding than crossing it off a written list as if it doesn’t count anymore or as if i’d done it wrong.
plus colored paper and markers are more fun than a pen and notebook.
and i can snap a photo so it lives in my phone - no need to track a notebook which of course i will undoubtedly lose.
removing the barriers is definitely a HUGE thing
the biggest and most helpful take away from my therapy was stop trying to just "overpower" things you struggle with but modify your environment so they become easier
also, being honest and non judgmental about what these barriers are and how to fix them
I'm very particular about a lot of seemingly small things and used judge myself that "it shouldn't affect me", but if doing something that feels silly helps me do things, who cares?
I got diagnosed with ADHD on the 11th. Your videos have helped me understand myself better. Now, thanks to you, I'm trying to be nicer to myself & more understanding of myself. I feel less lonely now. Thank you so much for what you do.
wish this was around when i was a kid. now as a adult i notice there is a lot of what you talk about that would help me. just wish i could of heard most of this when i was in high school. keep them coming your doing good work
I am just now figuring out that I have Inattentive ADHD at 45, thanks to my best friend's daughter getting diagnosed and me seeing your videos, but I have also dealt with some injuries and illness. Once I started to feel remotely better I started to "see" the mess and literal cobwebs in the corner. I wanted to start cleaning more, but I was still struggling with motivation. Taking some tips from Fly Lady helped, but I also got a fake kids tiara and a kids cape from the Dollar Tree and would wear them while cleaning! Made it much more fun and motivating!
I get in the perfection or nothing mode.
I heard a quote the other day. It helps me with that. “I’ll take done over perfect, because perfect never gets done.”
It helps me. I hope it’ll help someone else.
I have a few places around my apartment that having some artwork, like separate smaller bridges, would be very helpful to work as a visual stimuli not only to give motivation, but to manage my expectations and divide the task into smaller tasks.
3:43 Oof, that hits close to home :')
This was a great video! I've been using a lot of these tips already, and especially breaking big tasks down into smaller ones helps a lot.
Sometimes I try working for just a few minutes with a timer. It helps to reduce the perceived size of the task and gets me into that 'flow' too!
That's when I cried.
@@jonnivaldes5597 Completely understandable. I hope you're alright
@@RamblePrism Thanks, yeah. I think it was tears of relief. That happens a lot when I watch Jessica's videos. There's a sense of "I'm not alone and I'm not crazy (or lazy or useless or insert whatever other shameful thing I've thought because I didn't understand my own brain.) It's a good feeling ultimately. :)
@@jonnivaldes5597 Yeah! I completely understand
I find sometimes getting people to agree to plans but on the condition that this thing gets done sometimes helps.
Like "hey do we wanna do this fun thing tonight? (I'm struggling with motivation to clean my room.)"
If it's not a big thing on the part of the friend, having that pressure, and a reward that you can't give yourself prematurely is a good trick
Just getting started is better than thinking this will take too much time or I don't have this much time right now
Mate thanks a million!
You have no idea how helpful this was for me, I really needed this right now
Aw good! Thanks for letting me know :)
Very great tools for the tool box. So thankful for this channel. It’s helped me go from completely clueless to understanding my ADHD and getting a better handle on it. Keep up the amazing work, it’s very much appreciated
Breaking tasks down into smaller tasks is basically my life strategy, with planned breaks/rewards when the small step is reached. Sometimes just finishing the task isn't really rewarding, but knowing that I "earned myself" a small break really can be.
I'm working on the "don't make it harder on myself than it has to be" and "asking for help" steps....turns out neither of those are easy for me. But I'm trying and I'll get better little by little.
Walk or stretch to your favorite positive music for 5-10 minutes(or longer if you want) before working on a boring task ( homework,chores) then do the task. This allowed me to do my work on time for school! I get the dopamine hit to start doing my homework. I am able to motivate to do my homework. As I do my hW, I am motivated to continue doing it. A must try!!!!!!!
Do you have any advice for those of us who--out of necessity to function--overplan? If I don't make a to-do list I find myself extremely inefficient, and yet on the flip side, I end up hyper-focusing on planning to the point where I end up wasting time on said list(s).
I have that problem myself. Unfortunately I haven’t figure out the answer yet either.
You gotta check out the tutorial on the bullet journal. There are some useful tips about planning in general.
this video came out at the perfect time, I've got SO MUCH work to get done and I've been procrastinating it for weeks and now i think I'll finally be able to do it, thanks jessica ❤️
I HATE putting my groceries away, because it involves cleaning out the fridge first, probably emptying the sink and dishwasher, taking out the trash, etc etc. So, I've started listening to podcasts or youtube videos while I put away the groceries and it's really helped the motivation factor.
I really appreciate the tips. What has been working for me lately, is music. I just put on my headphones and forget about everything else, and it tricks my brain into focusing on the task at hand. I create playlists for each tasks. In that way, I know when I'm finished with one task, when to start the next one, and it keeps me pumped. I even have a 9hr playlist for work. My peeps and coworkers know that when I have my headphones on, things are getting done.
I appreciate you so much you have given me everything I need to know about ADHD because of you my life with ADHD is a lot easier! I have showed my parents a lot of your videos and now they understand everything I go through❤️ thank you
Helpline 👆🏻👆🏻 Whats App the number above ⬆️ for guidance and help..
One of my ones, have a race with a friend or make a ridiculous bet I.e I bet I can colour code the doom pile by the door faster than you can grab the grocerys. 2 for the price of one
I don't have ADHD, my son does, but my motivation is horrible. This video is wonderful for everyone. Thank you
What you said about number 5 "Ride the wave" where you can do the thing you are motivated to do, even if it is not what you planned to do, reminds me of something I learned after listening to the book "The Gap and The Gain" By Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan. It's not actually in the book, but it's something I learned after applying it in my life. This book taught me a critical skill, how to be in the gain and not the gap. I found out that I have been in the gap my entire life, and have been constantly applying unhealthy gap ways of thinking to everything. By not thinking in terms of ideals, but instead of progress, and counting my wins, I started becoming more spontaneous, ready to enjoy and seize the wins the day offers me instead of only caring about the ones I originally intended on.
I just love when your content aligns perfectly with what I need. I was literally searching for ADHD productivity tools this morning. Then you uploaded this 🤩
One thing I realized is even when I break things down like if working out feels like too much then I tell myself “just work out for 10 minutes”. But even when I tell myself 10 minutes is enough, deep down I still expect myself to workout for longer then that so making the task smaller doesn’t actually help me. So what I did is made myself really work out for just 10 minutes and even if I had enough motivation to keep going after 10 minutes, I would still stop after 10 minutes. So then when I don’t want to work out and tell myself “just 10 minutes” my brain knows I really can just do 10 minutes and that’s enough. I’m horrible at explaining things so I hope that made sense and others can relate.
The concept of "No Zero Days" has helped me with larger goals. It's a way of addressing motivation and building habits.
Want to develop en excercise habit but not got enough time today to do the ½hr workout? 1 pushup or lift counts as 'non zero'.
I have been sorting out my room for 2 years now. It was full of half completed projects and my deceased parent's stuff that I hadn't been able to part with. Nothing would happen for months until the build up of frustration led to a burst of effort. The rate of progress since I started a 'No Zero Days' approach has been marked. Some days I may only remove 1 piece of rubbish, other days I might get 15 minutes in and make a bit of an impact. Occasionally I do an hour or so, e.g. I had a very old and defunct rowing machine and I spent about an hour on 3 consecutive nights dismantling it for scrap. Frustration is lower and it's beginning to feel like a space I want to spend time in.
Note the room was so bad when I started that there was no space to move. I can now see the end in sight! I have a floor!
Sometimes when I feel like I should finish the commissioned painting I've had on my easel for weeks, I end up doing housework to avoid doing it or vise versa. Right now I should be putting in OT for work, but I had to get medicine for our bird, then got groceries, then cooked supper, then showered instead. All things that had to be done but now I'm taking a break, watching this trying to figure out how to get the motivation to go back to my desk and work. Guess I should start by sitting at my desk and logging in. Break the task down...
I find creating motivation through my kids helps. I know they enjoy a activity, therefore that helps me keep a little more motivated to keep at it.
You know I don’t even think I have adhd but I find your videos so useful. The idea of regulating your executive function ability is seriously transformative
Playing music late in the evening made me start on my job application paper the other day. I think I need to use music more to get motivation to start boring things like cleaning and fixing the apartment
For someone with ADHD your videos are very well organized and executed. I don't have ADHD, but I deal with depression. Your videos seem to help me too.
My name is Brian and as a boy I used to get called 'Brain' a lot by kids who were trying (and failing) to be funny, so I feel at home by you calling me this. I like you, Jess. You're amazing and very cool to do this. Peace, joy and love to you, my dear.
"Especially for those of us who grew up feeling like we couldn’t do anything right and needed to do extra to prove ourselves and our worth." I grew up with this and it still something that effects me to this day.
Thanks for posting this video.
This makes so much sense now...Yesterday I was called stupid by someone for not wanting to pick up and change everything about my setup. It made me feel awful and I couldnt explain why it was so important for me to keep things as they were. I realize now that I had things set up in a way I had everything I needed and kept myself focused and motivated and moving everything meant having to redo everything and abandoning things that helped me so much! That felt so overwhelming! And having someone call me stupid for it didnt help either.
Thank you for making me feel like Im not awful for every little thing my brain does.
I’m familiar with 5. Ride the wave. It’s easier to do when you have multiple tasks that need to be accomplished but the other is (mostly) arbitrary.
However I’m very strongly considering 4. Get help//do it together. So I have been contemplating hiring someone to push me, drag me, pull me, kick me, just get me to do what I need to do. I figure once the project is started, it might be easier for me to get somewhat self motivated
My ADHD has finally gone into full sprint since I started college. My freshman and now junior year have been horrible.... everything is so overwhelming. Socializing, completing assignments, studying (sigh on this one😔), and taking care of myself. I can't hold onto a thought or sustain focus on anything for more than a minute. Furthermore, I honestly just feel like a loser cause I can't complete anything and have to exhaust myself for even the slightest motivation on one task. Life is just not the way it use to be😔
Damn you Jessica. I had convinced myself that I’ve come to terms with my adult diagnosis of ADHD and there was no more grief, but there you go talking about adding extra steps to complete a task because we think we need to prove that we are capable. I’m not crying. You’re crying. I have allergies.
"to some it may be a luxury, but for us it's an accomodation" .....wow. when you said that it was like a switch flipped in my brain. This genuinely changed my life, I feel like I should embroider it on a pillow or something, like I feel like you just saved my life
As someone who has sometimes crippling ADHD I am extremely grateful for your videos, and thank you for helping me to understand my disorder and overcome it.
3 was a perfect example for me. I got a cordless vacuum, it's not as powerful as my old mains one but because there's no faff getting it out and putting it away I use it a lot more and my house stays cleaner as a result
I’ve been watching your channel for a while, and I’ve been trying to get a diagnosis since I was a teenager. Non Stimulant medication doesn’t work for me, and I’ve had doctors who gave refused to believe that I’m ADHD, despite the fact it runs in my family.
I finally have a good doctor, and next week I might finally have a diagnosis. I’m so excited.
One thing I do is by doing easy non related tasks to slowly building my momentum for task completion. Like if I for example have a big paper to write for school, I'll start by doing something unrelated that's quick and easy to do (like make my bed, take the dishes out of my room), then do another slightly bigger task (like start my laundry, sweep the floor) that way I can use the dopamine from a completed task to fuel the motivation for my big task at hand. Kind of a similar concept to ride the wave but a little more naunced. I'm not saying this works for everyone just one that has worked for me in the past. Word of warning though, sometimes you end up doing a big task that you've been meaning to do instead of the taste that you meant to do. Like cleaning the whole house instead of your big school paper. And this has happened to me but instead of being discouraged, say to yourself well it wasn't what I meant to get done but I got something big done and congratulate yourself on that instead of beating yourself up over not doing what you meant to do.
Smaller chunks: this is my 3rd yr since being diagnosed late + I *JUST* discovered that one! HUGE. Also, #4 and #5. Just a person being *present*, not even helping--even via a video-call--makes a world of difference. The wave? YES. (Having an album or music playlist that keeps going = suuuper helpful)
This motivated me to throw my old dirty dishes in the trash and buy prettier ones instead of dealing with the excessive boredom I'd face cleaning them
Yep. #1 was my life’s game changer. It’s now simply how I function.
I find that when I break down a big task into smaller tasks, I'm overwhelmed by the amount of things to do and end up not doing the thing because it was one thing then it was a bunch of things
2:50 daily job is made up of tasks that are lengthy, repetitive and boring. It becomes painful in a way that I dont feel like my colleages can understand.
One thing which I started recently and it worked is a PEMF band. I turn on the energy, mental capacity and relaxation mode with the break times of audio books and high energy music. Also, I started doing a very tedious task regularly from July; putting the dishes in the washer directly everyday, turning it on at the end of the day, then in the morning getting the dishes out and get the washer ready for another day. It felt tiresome,but after a week doing it with my favorite music it became fun and now it is a habit. It organized my kitchen and thoughts so well!! Cannot thank my friend for teaching that to me, he's not neurodiverse though.
I have ADHD, as well as OCD 😪 so I hate a mess…. But I also get “overwhelmed with how much I have to do. Thank you so much!
If something is too easy for me, it can sometimes be harder to do because it becomes boring. I listen to commentary channels or science channels or this channel to help me stay focused on the things that are boring and motivate me to start them in the first place. It gives my brain something fun to do while I autopilot myself through doing dishes or folding laundry.
Trying to clean the house when it’s full of occupants not doing anything productive, is the worst!! I literally am paralyzed from doing anything productive. When everyone is helping out, that makes a huge difference in motivation
Just had my initial counseling with the psychologist. She basically said “Yep, can’t officially say it’s ADHD but (it is)” so I get to go in next month to see the psychiatrist and start a med regiment. Got your book ordered so I’m super excited to get started!!
The motivation bridge episode was by far my FAVORITE episode from you, so I'm really glad you chose to write a follow-up episode
"We don't have little gaps in motivation, half the bridge is missing." You got THAT right! 😲
I call 'Ride a wave' productive procrastination - I have a main task and then I have many side tasks so when I don't feel like to do the main task and I want to procrastinate I can but I have to choose from my side tasks. In this way I am still productive even though I am procrastinating :)
Absolutely love your brain’s dance to the playlist near end of this video!! So cute!
That's a dope pic. 😊✌
I'm wanting to apply for a job right now, feel a lot of gaps getting there right now, big sense of failure and fear, really grateful to come across this video
So much good information!
The problem with using things like task rabbit or instacart is that, even if they ARE potentially a great accommodation, some, or maybe even most, people with ADHD simply cannot afford those types of things. Many people with ADHD cannot afford to remove themselves from an environment or a situation that is worsening their ADHD and/or cannot afford to add additional accommodations or treatment options into their lives.
Thank you for this video!
Love your content!!!!!! ❤
You are a hero!
Thank you!