Well when we got married me and my wife spent everything on our own, planned on our own and executed on our own. Yet my mum had to make everything about her. She couldn’t help poking her nose in every decision and picking a fight with members of the family. She just couldn’t help herself and couldn’t come to the realization that it’s our day not her’s. I just bore her. It was easily one of the most difficult days of my life.
Concerning planning a wedding, there's a popular opinion out there that "if they're paying for the wedding, they have a right to a say-so in the details." I disagree. Here's why: Let me put it this way, if you're "gift" to the bride is helping to pay for the wedding, but you require a say-so in the wedding details (especially if those details you want are different than what the bride wants), that's not a gift, that's manipulation. It's like if you have a friend who loves country music, but you love rap music. So you justify to yourself that since you're paying for it, you're going to get them a Drake CD instead of a Garth Brooks CD. If you're doing it with strings attached, then it's manipulation and you're trying to be controlling. That's not right. If you want to genuinely help the bride out by helping pay for the wedding, then do it with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. Only then is it a genuine gift.
Valerie Linares , I totally agree . There’s a difference in the delivery, would you like or did you think about this ? Verse I want this and your going to do this . Mom should say “ if you want my input or suggestions on anything “ I’m here but don’t become bitter if she doesn’t choose your suggestions. What the daughter might end up doing is going away somewhere and getting married and mom will not even be able to be apart of this blessed day .
If she is so enmeshed in her daughters life then the chances are that her daughter has never made any decisions before. So this would be the first time the mother has stepped back.
I disagree here. My parents paid for my wedding and out of respect for them I ran all major decisions past them. It is their money!! My mom wanted a big party with many of her friends, so I had a wedding with 200 people. She paid for it! What do I care? It was a really beautiful day. A wedding isnt just about the bride, it is about the couple and their families too. If this mom is being picky about color choices or any of that, then that is too far.
Whether she likes to admit it or not, she has been planning this wedding since she found out she was carrying a daughter in her womb. She needs to step back for like, forever. Lol
Great advice Uncle Steve... love how he takes the time to listen to ppl and really try to give good insight into whats really going on. Thats his gift.
Exactly my friend’s mom did something similar - mariachi band, guests who were unknown the the bride, fanfare etc… everything the bride didn’t want. The bride even cried saying her mother didn’t care and was a narcissist. So sad. Mothers need to remember it’s not their wedding. Why ruin a relationship over some wedding prep for a day!
My mother and sister had this problem. My advice to my mom was to be available, offer your opinion, speak up if wisdom dictates, but dont forget!!! She is in charge, has also friends and bridesmaids telling her too. Know when to be a soldier and when to be a General.
Really great advice. I can see the mom is hurt but she also has to understand that it’s manipulation to say “I’m paying for it” and? It’s her day. SHE is getting married. I understand they’re close but trying to be apart of everything will ruin their relationship. Steve was right. Apologize to her daughter and naturally over time, her daughter will want her mom to be with her when doing things. I hope things work out
Mothers always come across so innocent when they talk to others. When they talk to their daughter it's my way or the highway attitude. Ego's aside work it out
Yeah you could see it in her face. She was not feeling what Steve was saying. She look like she wanted to kill him. She is not a Bridezilla but a Mama-Bridezilla
Gee whiz. I wish people would ease up on the power/control. Mom needs to let her daughter do her wedding. It's not mom's wedding and how she wants it. Its daughter's wedding and how she wants it.
Honestly, Steve should've asked her did she have a big wedding? I've noticed moms who never had their dream wedding like to live through their kids. My mom had a big wedding and she didn't butt in and I had a big wedding so I don't plan on butting in my future daughter's wedding. She's being selfish and stressing her daughter out on top of the stress of planning a wedding, she's lucky if she gets an invite. Advice=Butt Out & Be seen not heard.
P.S. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DAUGHTERS WEDDING.. YOUR A WONDERFUL MOM.. LISTEN TO STEVE HARVEY MOM AND A HAPPY FOR YOUR DAUGHTERS WEDDING DAY AND SOON TO BE.. SON IN LAW. 🤗🙆♂️.
Steve gives the best advice and he is on point every single time I adore you Thank you steve for bringing me up when im feeling low Now im addicted to your show and watch you every day
This is a tough situation for a mom, this is why I paid for my own wedding. I'm an Aries and we like to be in control so I just paid for my own wedding, no one can tell me anything if it's my money, all decisions were made by me and my husband. I'm a mom of a daughter and I would want to be included if I'm paying for it but ultimately it would be her decision because it's her day. I wouldn't want to ruin a great mother daughter relationship for one day.
She rightly said " i just want her day to be perfect ".am like mama you did your best for your daughters day to be perfect by paying,let her plan for her wedding payments ,it will be perfect for her as you want.
For her day to be perfect it has to be perfect for HER not necessarily perfect for YOU. She's the only one who should be involved in every aspect. Support her if you want to support her, don't make her feel like she'll be uncomfortable and unhappy on the day she should be at her happiest.
Why are women so obsessed with weddings I NEVER understood it. I'm getting married at the courthouse and we eating at Popeyes afterwards. I'm more focused on a lovely successful marriage not a big party. Half the people I know that had huge weddings are divorced now so why risk waisting all that money anyways?
Of course everyone wants a successful marriage and we all know the only way to have a successful marriage is if you married your match... but, why wouldn't you want your friends and family members to witness a beautiful part of your life marrying the love of your life... but you have every right to choose how you celebrate your marriage be it a wedding or the courthouse.. just as long as you're with your match.. wedding or no wedding you'll be happily married...
Special K well I don't have any real friends and my Mom/dad and my fiancé and one aunt are the ONLY people I have in my life. Really I was speaking for myself I don't even know all of my family especially my dad side. And my mom side split ways after my grandfather died he was the glue that kept us together. And I'm not about to hunt everyone down just to see me get married. I can't even get a call or text back because everyone is so busy in their lives. Sorry to rant but you ask and I told you. is what it is🤷
Maybe step back and let your daughter plan HER wedding.if she asks for help,then,yes,help.if she hasn't asked,leave it alone.this is why you have conflict. It is not your day.
But the payer then has a right to limit the amount paid to a flat fee. Whereas if the payer is involved she might be persuaded to pay more. No way I'd give open credit card to a kid to spend on a wedding.
As the only daughter of a mother who sees money as a bargaining chip you cannot allow them to pay for or loan you money even on a small scale. If you do it's THEIR OPPORTUNITY to make decisions on how and on what THEIR MONEY is spent on. The biggest reason being they know you will never pay them back AND if you are dependent on them they are your PROVIDER making you a child again.
Try this. Help pick the venue cause those can be costly. And then use Steve’s advice to go with her to pick out the gown and decorations, especially with the gown part. For some reason a strong binding moment for moms and daughters is helping the daughter pick out the wedding dress
Steve tried to be nice instead of real. He needed to tell her she needed to step back, apologize and accept the fact that it's not her wedding. Throwing the fact that your paying for it in your daughter's face it's exactly why she pushed her away so she not a part of any planning. Get it together, you had your wedding this is hers and she wants it her way. Moms need to get a reality check.
What makes you think that she wouldn't have a nice wedding? She is capable of making her own choices and you should support that. If you want to plan a wedding then go remarry your husband and plan your own wedding.
This is about communication. You want to have relationship with your daughter when it's all over. ❤ My mom guided me through my wedding day process and had her say, but she never forced or overly pressed because she wanted me to be happy. If she really disagreed she found a way to get me to try it on or try it out, or have a look ,just because she asked me, not because she was paying or demanded it. Lighten up on your daughter dear. It's one day,..her day and truthfully every mom knows its Mama's day too, but daughter comes first, then hubby-to-be, then mom and dad. ❤
I feel bad for both of them. I see where the mother is coming from, but it's her daughter's day and not her's. Yes you are financially supporting it but at the end of the day it isn't your day. And some details in the planning of the wedding you just want to do with your girls around and not your mom. Hopefully they fix their relationship because that would be terrible for their relationship to end over her daughter's wedding
Ohh her face when Steve said "Quit talking 'bout you paying for it" said it all - she won't stop. In the end she will destroy the relationship with her daughter for good.
Good advice. I think it’s nice for her to be part of it as in accompanying her daughter while she’s planning. But she should refrain from giving her opinion too much and just be supportive good company.
Paying for the wedding , does not mean you have a say in every aspect of it. Give the money and get out of the way..Keep the peace and enjoy the wedding.
Mama, it's really easy to solve. Talk to her and tell her you're available if she needs help but will take the back seat unless invited to do otherwise. Tell her you're happy to pay for her and this is the amount you're giving her for her to spend as she sees fit. I promise you Mama, she'll be calling you for help in many areas, because planning a wedding is not easy. And when she does call, give suggestions and honest opinions but be detached from the whole thing, don't care too much if it's going to be perfect or if she's following your advice. It's her day. If it crumbles because she ignore your advice she'll still be happier than if the whole thing is perfect but was your idea, not hers...
I was annoyed as soon as she said I want to be part of EVERYTHING! Back off mom. You had your wedding..... at least I presume. Let your daughter have "HER" dream wedding that she probably dreamt about since she was a little girl. Just because you're paying doesn't give you the right to take over.
The bride is the grand prize for the groom, and she deserves to be compensated. If her mother chooses to pay for it, that is her GIFT to her daughter. Of course, I understand that she *wishes* to participate in the planning. But ONLY where her daughter ask for her help! Because if mother has a major say in every aspect, this suddenly is no longer the bride's special day, but that of her mother. And that is not worth losing the relationship with your daughter over. Just like Steve said, mom should take a few steps back, and repair the damage that has been inadvertently done.
Yes, by all means get back in good standing with one another. I perceive that mom wants to see exactly where her money is going and that argument was about the cost of certain elements of the wedding budget. For instance, your mom takes you to the store and explains what the budget is in detail for several essential items and you go for one item where the price nearly encompasses the other essential items. Mom says we'll what about the other necessities? Then you tell mom to but out, and you storm out leaving Mom in a conundrum..
We've told our 2 we will pay for theirs within reason. I won't get involved unless I'm asked. But, I will be VERY hurt if I'm not asked. They've also been told there won't be any help for a 2nd wedding.
This is a taught situation mom is paying but it's not her day husband and wife to be should be paying for their own wedding. But since mom is paying taught situation.
HI THERE..STEVE HARVEY. I TOTALLY LOVE YOUR SHOW. I HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED.. THO I LISTEN TO YOUR EXCELLENT ANSWERS. SO.. I AM MARRIED TO THIS SHOW.. 🤣🤗😎😘. OKAY BACK TO THE STEVE HARVEY SHOW.
Here's the thing once there's a man in the picture the relationship between the mother and daughter will change. She is getting to know her new identity apart from her mother because she will become one flesh with her husband. Yes the mothers paying for it however it is her day and she wants to celebrate and enjoy that day as she is becoming her own woman apart from her mother. This is a transition that is a bit challenging however it will work out if the mother realizes that things will change permanently.
This is a control issue from a mom who can't let go. It's easy to win the fight but, you're going to loose the war and miss out on so much. Let go Mom! and enjoy the wedding.
Maybe give her some tips you used,and leave it at that.what you are doing,regardless of intent,is running her life.she is grown.she has to make her own choices.she has to live her own life.
Poor daughter must be feeling the pain of having to get real with mom during the most important time in her life. Mom, let her have HER wedding, step back and enjoy the ride, stop thinking how the wedding will make you look.
At the end of the day, it’s just not worth it with the mother and child not speaking to her, she needs to apologize to her daughter for butting in even though she is paying for it, they need to find a common ground and then and only then can her daughter’s wedding day can be a day of joy and not pain because they are not speaking to one another!
I agree with Steve, if you are paying then maybe yall come up with an agreement on what the mom can be involved in, but I would rather pay for everything and have the wedding I want than have the wedding someone else wants with their money
THAT is exactly why I don't want my family to help me pay for my wedding. Yes, I understand that someone who is helping to pay for the wedding wants to have a say in how it's planned. I agree that it's only fair that since they're helping to pay for it, they should have SOME kind of say-so. However, often times, people will use the money aspect as an excuse to manipulate, and micro-manage to get their way. I witnessed this when my sister got married and family was helping her pay. There's a difference between helping to pay out of the kindness of your heart as a genuine GIFT to the couple -and- offering to pay to manipulate the situation to get what YOU want. The latter is not right. So, I'd rather pay for my own wedding - or, if we can't afford it, just elope or marry at the courthouse. It's much cheaper that route anyways.
She IS micro-managing her daughter. I don’t blame her daughter one bit. Just like she’s going to have to let go of her daughter in order for her to get married; she’s going to have to let go of the wedding arrangements & let her daughter plan her special day. All she should be concerned about is if this man is gonna treat her daughter right. The rest doesn’t matter. Maybe her mother monopolized her day & she feels cheated & is trying to make up for it now. At any rate, as long as her daughter isn’t planning something she can’t afford, she needs to shut up & sit down.
A_zinne I agree with you. I don’t understand why people feel the need to spend thousands, sometimes even tens of thousands of dollars on a single day. The extravagance of the wedding has nothing to do with how well the marriage will be.
Too many mama's make this mistake, when the child is an adult your job is over. If you keep trying to be a parent, they will never be a grown-up. If your adult child keeps talking to you after they've entered the adult phase that's a privilege, not a right.
There are some deeper issues!!! So the mother is so close to her daughter ??? and the daughter can't have her wedding as she wishes. I do not want a "close" mother. Her expression before she sits down....a mature woman like this? I am shaking my head that the woman who is getting married cannot have it as she wishes. keep that money, go girl and have a cheap but fun wedding! I have add since another commenter said that, I am only agreeing to the daughter if she is not just into stretching budget.
Have you ever heard that a wedding is “his day”? Of course not, because weddings are all about the bride. And women don’t understand why men really don’t care about getting married.
Wow! This is terrible. The daughter and her future husband need to pay for their own wedding, since Mom is constantly throwing around she's paying for it. Their day, their way. Fast forward past the wedding Mom seems like she would be a continuous interference in their Marriage, let your kids be individuals you had your time, you can't extend it through your daughter.
Its funny, cause where do yall get these people from I'm too honest for it because I would hurt your feelings messing around with my wedding like that.
That's why I'll pay for my own wedding. I think the mother should have s bit of say as she is the one paying for it and weddings are expensive. Hopefully they could reach a compromise and move on from this.
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That mum's face was like "I ain't doing nothing you told me to Steve"
Yes. Total narcissist.
Exactly that’s probably what she did. I saw another mom do that to her daughter.
Well when we got married me and my wife spent everything on our own, planned on our own and executed on our own. Yet my mum had to make everything about her. She couldn’t help poking her nose in every decision and picking a fight with members of the family. She just couldn’t help herself and couldn’t come to the realization that it’s our day not her’s. I just bore her. It was easily one of the most difficult days of my life.
Concerning planning a wedding, there's a popular opinion out there that "if they're paying for the wedding, they have a right to a say-so in the details." I disagree. Here's why:
Let me put it this way, if you're "gift" to the bride is helping to pay for the wedding, but you require a say-so in the wedding details (especially if those details you want are different than what the bride wants), that's not a gift, that's manipulation. It's like if you have a friend who loves country music, but you love rap music. So you justify to yourself that since you're paying for it, you're going to get them a Drake CD instead of a Garth Brooks CD. If you're doing it with strings attached, then it's manipulation and you're trying to be controlling. That's not right.
If you want to genuinely help the bride out by helping pay for the wedding, then do it with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. Only then is it a genuine gift.
Correct!
Valerie Linares , I totally agree . There’s a difference in the delivery, would you like or did you think about this ? Verse I want this and your going to do this . Mom should say “ if you want my input or suggestions on anything “ I’m here but don’t become bitter if she doesn’t choose your suggestions. What the daughter might end up doing is going away somewhere and getting married and mom will not even be able to be apart of this blessed day .
Annnnnnd that's why I despise this woman.
If she is so enmeshed in her daughters life then the chances are that her daughter has never made any decisions before. So this would be the first time the mother has stepped back.
I disagree here. My parents paid for my wedding and out of respect for them I ran all major decisions past them. It is their money!! My mom wanted a big party with many of her friends, so I had a wedding with 200 people. She paid for it! What do I care? It was a really beautiful day. A wedding isnt just about the bride, it is about the couple and their families too. If this mom is being picky about color choices or any of that, then that is too far.
Sadly it's not your wedding, be happy for her. It's her choice you and that'll make her happy.
Listen to what steve said. 😊
The mom is paying for it so not exactly
Whether she likes to admit it or not, she has been planning this wedding since she found out she was carrying a daughter in her womb.
She needs to step back for like, forever. Lol
Great advice Uncle Steve... love how he takes the time to listen to ppl and really try to give good insight into whats really going on. Thats his gift.
If the mom doesn't listen to Steve, then her daughter will always remember the day of her wedding as the day when she and her mother broke up.
Exactly my friend’s mom did something similar - mariachi band, guests who were unknown the the bride, fanfare etc… everything the bride didn’t want. The bride even cried saying her mother didn’t care and was a narcissist. So sad. Mothers need to remember it’s not their wedding. Why ruin a relationship over some wedding prep for a day!
@@kapri5095 so sad to hear about it. It’s irreparable damage really
My mother and sister had this problem. My advice to my mom was to be available, offer your opinion, speak up if wisdom dictates, but dont forget!!! She is in charge, has also friends and bridesmaids telling her too. Know when to be a soldier and when to be a General.
Great advice, you can tell she’s hurting
The hardest part is they have had such a good relationship so she in her mind this would be a special time for them. She needed to back off
Keywords: HER DAY...HER WEDDING
then SHE should pay for it
Really great advice. I can see the mom is hurt but she also has to understand that it’s manipulation to say “I’m paying for it” and? It’s her day. SHE is getting married. I understand they’re close but trying to be apart of everything will ruin their relationship. Steve was right. Apologize to her daughter and naturally over time, her daughter will want her mom to be with her when doing things. I hope things work out
So true. I hope she didn’t mess it up.
The memories that she will share is more important than the money she spends. Let her have her day.
The daughter probably wants to involve her fiance too the mom bless her heart needs to step back and give the money without the money being a bribe
Mothers always come across so innocent when they talk to others.
When they talk to their daughter it's my way or the highway attitude.
Ego's aside work it out
That woman don't like that at all, smh.
I caught that look too.
@bajan I know right. The look on her face sad it all. She wanted someone to tell her that she was right
Yeah you could see it in her face. She was not feeling what Steve was saying. She look like she wanted to kill him. She is not a Bridezilla but a Mama-Bridezilla
Yup she's not listening at all.
@@sethmorgan833 Those are the WORST!!!!!!! She was like I am not asking for a lot just to be apart of every choice you make!
Gee whiz. I wish people would ease up on the power/control. Mom needs to let her daughter do her wedding. It's not mom's wedding and how she wants it. Its daughter's wedding and how she wants it.
Honestly, Steve should've asked her did she have a big wedding? I've noticed moms who never had their dream wedding like to live through their kids. My mom had a big wedding and she didn't butt in and I had a big wedding so I don't plan on butting in my future daughter's wedding. She's being selfish and stressing her daughter out on top of the stress of planning a wedding, she's lucky if she gets an invite. Advice=Butt Out & Be seen not heard.
My heart's breaking for mama but Mr Hightower is right ma. Stay blessed 🙏
Manipulation 😤
I didn’t have parents pay but both had everything to say and no one held back. Made planning a nightmare.
her face says she still going to do it.
She can't help herself. I wonder if micro-managed any events involving her sons? Nevertheless, I hope she takes Steve's advice.
Yup, that was my thought also.
P.S. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DAUGHTERS WEDDING.. YOUR A WONDERFUL MOM.. LISTEN TO STEVE HARVEY MOM AND A HAPPY FOR YOUR DAUGHTERS WEDDING DAY AND SOON TO BE.. SON IN LAW. 🤗🙆♂️.
Steve gives the best advice and he is on point every single time
I adore you Thank you steve for bringing me up when im feeling low
Now im addicted to your show and watch you every day
I had this same thing happen to me but it was my mother in law trying to control the planning and she wasn’t even paying for anything.
What did you do ?
This is a tough situation for a mom, this is why I paid for my own wedding. I'm an Aries and we like to be in control so I just paid for my own wedding, no one can tell me anything if it's my money, all decisions were made by me and my husband. I'm a mom of a daughter and I would want to be included if I'm paying for it but ultimately it would be her decision because it's her day. I wouldn't want to ruin a great mother daughter relationship for one day.
She rightly said " i just want her day to be perfect ".am like mama you did your best for your daughters day to be perfect by paying,let her plan for her wedding payments ,it will be perfect for her as you want.
For her day to be perfect it has to be perfect for HER not necessarily perfect for YOU. She's the only one who should be involved in every aspect. Support her if you want to support her, don't make her feel like she'll be uncomfortable and unhappy on the day she should be at her happiest.
Why are women so obsessed with weddings I NEVER understood it. I'm getting married at the courthouse and we eating at Popeyes afterwards. I'm more focused on a lovely successful marriage not a big party. Half the people I know that had huge weddings are divorced now so why risk waisting all that money anyways?
Of course everyone wants a successful marriage and we all know the only way to have a successful marriage is if you married your match... but, why wouldn't you want your friends and family members to witness a beautiful part of your life marrying the love of your life... but you have every right to choose how you celebrate your marriage be it a wedding or the courthouse.. just as long as you're with your match.. wedding or no wedding you'll be happily married...
You're crazy...to show up to Popeyes with no coupons. Girl I wish I lived nearby to give y'all coupons, and I agree with your opinion :).
because that's a day to remember,.
Claire Joseph 🤣🤣😂 I'll take them!
Special K well I don't have any real friends and my Mom/dad and my fiancé and one aunt are the ONLY people I have in my life. Really I was speaking for myself I don't even know all of my family especially my dad side. And my mom side split ways after my grandfather died he was the glue that kept us together. And I'm not about to hunt everyone down just to see me get married. I can't even get a call or text back because everyone is so busy in their lives. Sorry to rant but you ask and I told you. is what it is🤷
Maybe step back and let your daughter plan HER wedding.if she asks for help,then,yes,help.if she hasn't asked,leave it alone.this is why you have conflict. It is not your day.
But the payer then has a right to limit the amount paid to a flat fee. Whereas if the payer is involved she might be persuaded to pay more. No way I'd give open credit card to a kid to spend on a wedding.
Steve is so wise.
Thats why im a carribbean bride 👰. Bye 👋 yall done got on my nerve
Wisdom in the answer. ..What a Man....Steve Harvey of America
As the only daughter of a mother who sees money as a bargaining chip you cannot allow them to pay for or loan you money even on a small scale. If you do it's THEIR OPPORTUNITY to make decisions on how and on what THEIR MONEY is spent on. The biggest reason being they know you will never pay them back AND if you are dependent on them they are your PROVIDER making you a child again.
Steve rocks
I can't believe the stupid problems people come up with on TV shows. Classic case of helicopter parent. One of the major problems in today's society.
Try this. Help pick the venue cause those can be costly. And then use Steve’s advice to go with her to pick out the gown and decorations, especially with the gown part. For some reason a strong binding moment for moms and daughters is helping the daughter pick out the wedding dress
Oooh I feel you Mother 🤱😔💖
Steve tried to be nice instead of real. He needed to tell her she needed to step back, apologize and accept the fact that it's not her wedding. Throwing the fact that your paying for it in your daughter's face it's exactly why she pushed her away so she not a part of any planning. Get it together, you had your wedding this is hers and she wants it her way. Moms need to get a reality check.
What makes you think that she wouldn't have a nice wedding? She is capable of making her own choices and you should support that. If you want to plan a wedding then go remarry your husband and plan your own wedding.
This is about communication. You want to have relationship with your daughter when it's all over. ❤ My mom guided me through my wedding day process and had her say, but she never forced or overly pressed because she wanted me to be happy. If she really disagreed she found a way to get me to try it on or try it out, or have a look ,just because she asked me, not because she was paying or demanded it. Lighten up on your daughter dear. It's one day,..her day and truthfully every mom knows its Mama's day too, but daughter comes first, then hubby-to-be, then mom and dad. ❤
I feel bad for both of them. I see where the mother is coming from, but it's her daughter's day and not her's. Yes you are financially supporting it but at the end of the day it isn't your day. And some details in the planning of the wedding you just want to do with your girls around and not your mom. Hopefully they fix their relationship because that would be terrible for their relationship to end over her daughter's wedding
Ohh her face when Steve said
"Quit talking 'bout you paying for it" said it all - she won't stop.
In the end she will destroy the relationship with her daughter for good.
Good advice. I think it’s nice for her to be part of it as in accompanying her daughter while she’s planning. But she should refrain from giving her opinion too much and just be supportive good company.
Well said Steve!!
"I just want to be a part of EVERY step" lol nah.. I'd give the money back..
Daughter needs to finance the wedding herself. Mom feels her money her rules.
She think its bad now just wait until she get married. She can forget being close i really hope not but most likely God Bless
I feel you.. Lady just be quiet and say yes to whatever your daughter says. Tag along everywhere.. Or you will be left alone. Sorry.
*quiet
Paying for the wedding , does not mean you have a say in every aspect of it. Give the money and get out of the way..Keep the peace and enjoy the wedding.
Mama, it's really easy to solve. Talk to her and tell her you're available if she needs help but will take the back seat unless invited to do otherwise. Tell her you're happy to pay for her and this is the amount you're giving her for her to spend as she sees fit. I promise you Mama, she'll be calling you for help in many areas, because planning a wedding is not easy. And when she does call, give suggestions and honest opinions but be detached from the whole thing, don't care too much if it's going to be perfect or if she's following your advice. It's her day. If it crumbles because she ignore your advice she'll still be happier than if the whole thing is perfect but was your idea, not hers...
Wise advice Steve.
That went in one ear and out the other
I was annoyed as soon as she said I want to be part of EVERYTHING! Back off mom. You had your wedding..... at least I presume. Let your daughter have "HER" dream wedding that she probably dreamt about since she was a little girl. Just because you're paying doesn't give you the right to take over.
Just stay away🤣🤣🤣
The bride is the grand prize for the groom, and she deserves to be compensated. If her mother chooses to pay for it, that is her GIFT to her daughter. Of course, I understand that she *wishes* to participate in the planning. But ONLY where her daughter ask for her help! Because if mother has a major say in every aspect, this suddenly is no longer the bride's special day, but that of her mother. And that is not worth losing the relationship with your daughter over.
Just like Steve said, mom should take a few steps back, and repair the damage that has been inadvertently done.
She answered her own question. The answer is simple. Let her plan her own wedding. 🤷🏽♀️ Show up and be happy for your daughter.
Leave her alone and just be happy for her, it's her day not yours.
Yeah it’s her wedding..... let her shine....
She didn't look like she liked the answer. Mom just really needs to apologize and show her daughter some love. That's most important.
This sounds like my mom I already made the decision for her to come to the dress appointment only and nothing else.
It’s your wedding! Stop living vicariously through your daughters!
Yes, by all means get back in good standing with one another. I perceive that mom wants to see exactly where her money is going and that argument was about the cost of certain elements of the wedding budget. For instance, your mom takes you to the store and explains what the budget is in detail for several essential items and you go for one item where the price nearly encompasses the other essential items. Mom says we'll what about the other necessities? Then you tell mom to but out, and you storm out leaving Mom in a conundrum..
valid point. but we do not know the details. if someone is overspending your money of course always you have a say-so.
@@rlb3726 exactly. While I was writing and reading other comments, I kept thinking we don't know the whole story at all.
Steve
A song for you and Marjorie “ Love and Happiness”
Tell the world divorce is not in your plan.
We've told our 2 we will pay for theirs within reason. I won't get involved unless I'm asked. But, I will be VERY hurt if I'm not asked. They've also been told there won't be any help for a 2nd wedding.
This is a taught situation mom is paying but it's not her day husband and wife to be should be paying for their own wedding. But since mom is paying taught situation.
Are you meaning tough???
She must be doing the most !!!
HI THERE..STEVE HARVEY. I TOTALLY LOVE YOUR SHOW. I HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED.. THO I LISTEN TO YOUR EXCELLENT ANSWERS. SO.. I AM MARRIED TO THIS SHOW.. 🤣🤗😎😘. OKAY BACK TO THE STEVE HARVEY SHOW.
Here's the thing once there's a man in the picture the relationship between the mother and daughter will change. She is getting to know her new identity apart from her mother because she will become one flesh with her husband. Yes the mothers paying for it however it is her day and she wants to celebrate and enjoy that day as she is becoming her own woman apart from her mother. This is a transition that is a bit challenging however it will work out if the mother realizes that things will change permanently.
This is a control issue from a mom who can't let go. It's easy to win the fight but, you're going to loose the war and miss out on so much. Let go Mom! and enjoy the wedding.
Maybe give her some tips you used,and leave it at that.what you are doing,regardless of intent,is running her life.she is grown.she has to make her own choices.she has to live her own life.
Poor daughter must be feeling the pain of having to get real with mom during the most important time in her life. Mom, let her have HER wedding, step back and enjoy the ride, stop thinking how the wedding will make you look.
So much stress for one day, doesn't she care about the daughter's happiness? Imagine when the daughter has kids 😣
Judging by her face she wasnt happy with Steve's answer
Give her a budget then....step back mom. She WILL come to you cause weddings are expensive!
At the end of the day, it’s just not worth it with the mother and child not speaking to her, she needs to apologize to her daughter for butting in even though she is paying for it, they need to find a common ground and then and only then can her daughter’s wedding day can be a day of joy and not pain because they are not speaking to one another!
I agree with Steve, if you are paying then maybe yall come up with an agreement on what the mom can be involved in, but I would rather pay for everything and have the wedding I want than have the wedding someone else wants with their money
Her daughter will come to her when she stumbles. She just has to wait and be patient. They know where the love is, and the money 😁
THAT is exactly why I don't want my family to help me pay for my wedding. Yes, I understand that someone who is helping to pay for the wedding wants to have a say in how it's planned. I agree that it's only fair that since they're helping to pay for it, they should have SOME kind of say-so. However, often times, people will use the money aspect as an excuse to manipulate, and micro-manage to get their way. I witnessed this when my sister got married and family was helping her pay. There's a difference between helping to pay out of the kindness of your heart as a genuine GIFT to the couple -and- offering to pay to manipulate the situation to get what YOU want. The latter is not right.
So, I'd rather pay for my own wedding - or, if we can't afford it, just elope or marry at the courthouse. It's much cheaper that route anyways.
I literally replayed her part 3 times and every single time, I tuned her out. Not on purpose. It was too much. Smh.
She ain’t like what he said
She did NOT. I almost felt bad for her. She knows she's wrong though.
The lady looks hurt! Aaaawww...
She IS micro-managing her daughter. I don’t blame her daughter one bit. Just like she’s going to have to let go of her daughter in order for her to get married; she’s going to have to let go of the wedding arrangements & let her daughter plan her special day. All she should be concerned about is if this man is gonna treat her daughter right. The rest doesn’t matter. Maybe her mother monopolized her day & she feels cheated & is trying to make up for it now. At any rate, as long as her daughter isn’t planning something she can’t afford, she needs to shut up & sit down.
Question (to the Americans), why do the parents pay for the wedding? Why doesn't the couple pay for it?
I think it's tradition. Some couples do pay for their own wedding though.
The Nomadic Jamaican 😎
SWEETIE....IT'S NOT A TRADITION MANY AMERICANS PARENTS DON'T PAY FOR THE WEDDING!!💃😰🏃
Because American weddings are usually really expensive. Young couples typically can’t afford it, so the parents take on the cost.
Why not have a wedding you can afford? It's the marriage that really counts in the long run.
A_zinne I agree with you. I don’t understand why people feel the need to spend thousands, sometimes even tens of thousands of dollars on a single day. The extravagance of the wedding has nothing to do with how well the marriage will be.
Too many mama's make this mistake, when the child is an adult your job is over. If you keep trying to be a parent, they will never be a grown-up. If your adult child keeps talking to you after they've entered the adult phase that's a privilege, not a right.
She doesn't agree. 😁
There are some deeper issues!!! So the mother is so close to her daughter ??? and the daughter can't have her wedding as she wishes. I do not want a "close" mother. Her expression before she sits down....a mature woman like this? I am shaking my head that the woman who is getting married cannot have it as she wishes. keep that money, go girl and have a cheap but fun wedding! I have add since another commenter said that, I am only agreeing to the daughter if she is not just into stretching budget.
Can we say wedding planner.
This woman needs a hobby. She has so much free time.
Stay out unless invited. You had yours. Wow. Not difficult to figure out.
I have a feeling she has mico-managed her whole family. She won't take on any of this advice.
Have you ever heard that a wedding is “his day”? Of course not, because weddings are all about the bride. And women don’t understand why men really don’t care about getting married.
Woman, get your own life and celebrate her happiness
Wow! This is terrible. The daughter and her future husband need to pay for their own wedding, since Mom is constantly throwing around she's paying for it. Their day, their way. Fast forward past the wedding Mom seems like she would be a continuous interference in their Marriage, let your kids be individuals you had your time, you can't extend it through your daughter.
The first time my mother would have said I'm paying for it. I would tell her she could keep her ass and her money at home the day of my wedding
No! Beard! Today!
I think I will be happy if I have someone else managing my wedding 😊 I am just not good at those kind of events
Its funny, cause where do yall get these people from I'm too honest for it because I would hurt your feelings messing around with my wedding like that.
That's why I'll pay for my own wedding. I think the mother should have s bit of say as she is the one paying for it and weddings are expensive. Hopefully they could reach a compromise and move on from this.
Heh, heh, why do I think the problem won't stop at the wedding.......................................
Na I dont agree ! Ur best friend for years, ur mom, the money gal.Dont bite the hand that feeds u.
Breaking up with your mother over a wedding managements ? Emmm emmm , not good at all ! Its your mom ! Just go with the flow and take things more easy