instead of a dad or cool aunt, I feel like you're the chill mentor-friend-figure that gives advice to the main character in an indie coming of age film ngl
@@bibi-oj2ep if there toxic other people probably won’t like them, and they will see you as the toxic people’s friends. So when they see you not hanging around with those people they will probably like you more and want to spend time with you. Talk to new people at the same time as your friends with them and slowly drift
Sameee, I had a friend that would always say mean things about me and she called it “honesty” when it was just rude remarks. I’m glad I cut her out of my life.
DUDE SAME- but it was 3 of my best friends, i knew two of them for 7 years and the other was barely a year. i cut them off a month ago and i've never felt more happier in my life it ended up with me having only one friend, but it was so worth it
How do we view anyone after that . This realization hit home hard. I realized in 2 years I should just move on when fate put us in different school. She had a really good time for the rest of high school while I graduated with no friends and found myself in deep depression . Im healing itz only been 1 yeAr since I signed off from high school. Uni life about to bring a new beginning im reallly not ready
It’s normal to want closure and wonder “why”, but honestly it’s usually not one thing and they won’t be able to give you a straightforward answer most of the time. Accepting a certain amount of anbiguity and moving forward is often what’s required to heal.
If I “drop” my only close friend, then I have no one. I’ve noticed her lack of interest in me and my life. I’ve been the only one to call, text or keep in touch. Recently I ranted to her about some stuff going on in my life and she just outright dismissed it, and ignored it. She stopped caring and only responds out of obligation. I’m so hurt and done with that. But now I have no one.
heyyy that's okay. Now there's room for someone genuine to be close friends with you. Wait for it and the next thing you know, you're gonna be friends with someone who's gonna love you unconditionally and care about you.
sometimes it’s better to spend some time alone and recover and work on yourself and when you’re ready find some new friends, i know the current pandemic situation makes that hard but online friends are here also 💖
I really think you should make a series called “how you can too”. Because you really make me feel good about these and as if your the big sister i never had🥺
reasons why I am a good friend - love unconditionally - will really try hard to support you and your passions - always admit when I am wrong - Puts you before me things I can work on as a friend - listening more than I talk - try to not be so flaky - let my friends know I am having anxiety so that they don't wonder - keep checking up on friends and staying in touch
Honestly, it’s good to reflect on ourselves, everyone can be toxic at times, but the important thing is that we learn and grow! I wish we could be friends 💔
don't put your friends before yourself babe! it might make you a "good friend" but you need to be a good friend to yourself first, that makes you a better friend to other over all.. as corny as it sounds
Throughout quarantine, I've realized I used to make jokes that were kind of mean, and most of my humour was bringing people down. I said it was a joke, but that does not make it okay. Now I'm working on being an uplifting friend and leaving these habits in 2020.
Also remember that sometimes you won't realize you made the right decision by leaving that friendship until YEARS later. I had a really upsetting friendship/endship almost 10 years ago and found the girl and her "Gretchen" were still talking about me behind my back and on twitter a few weeks ago. Definitely validated my decision. Great advice Nicole, and I love how you prioritize safety and boundaries!
It’s upsetting that someone from your past would talk about you on a public platform like Twitter, years later and especially if any mistakes you had made in the past were when you were still young and were unintentional, and if you learned from the mistakes and have matured. Not to mention, it probably wasn’t one-sided either. (I am speaking from experience haha). People can grow over time and should be allowed to do that, and what the two of them did sounds immature and obsessive. You can’t move on or be content with your life if you don’t let go of certain things.
my mom called the mean girl friendships the "nanny mcphee effect" bc the mean girls almost always had personal issues they came to me to solve but were super toxic in return lol i feel this on a deep level (def cut them all out years ago and my standards on how ppl treat me are 📈 now)
Litterly i just ended a friendship with a toxic person, and to be honest i feel better they where draging me down and now I'm happy, so the lesson is nicky is always right.
I was friends with this one girl for about 10 years. She started to get into the wrong crowd and became very toxic. She then decided to spread rumors about me that were not true. I was hurt. So, I cut her off and blocked her on everything. I felt that if I wasn't going to be treated like a true friend that I should cut her out of my life forever. So I did. No regrets.
@@amalsalim5601 I will admit that it wasn't easy at all. I just believe that you need to do what's best for you. Let them think what they wanna think about you. In the end, it really doesn't matter. True friends will stay by your side and let you be yourself.
But doesn’t that mean the Five people closest to you also hold you in there reflection so clearly your valuable when seen in someone else so why can’t you value you the way you would your 5 closest friends?
Time stamps ✨💓 6:34 - how to get rid of the toxic friends 8:38- be as respectful as possible 10:21- formally end a friendship 11:41- distance yourself from others 16:30- outro
I was the toxic friend without realizing it, but as I grew older I started to realize I had a lot of anger/frustrations esp with my mom that would end up being put onto friends. It's sad how many friends I have lost. I wish I would've realized this sooner.
this video was extremely comforting for me, i went through a bad car accident around December of last year, I broke my femur and was stuck in the hospital for a whole week. my “close friends” who I met through Instagram literally ghosted me after my accident, since I was the one who gave them rides to go to the thrift store, concerts or to just go anywhere they wanted. this tore me apart as a result, i felt so worthless and what made it even worse was they had the audacity to still interact with a boy who took advantage of me. it took me a while to accept what happened to me, and that my so called friends literally faked their support yet kept him on their social media’s to receive compliments from him? at first i felt like i was being mean for dropping them but technically they dropped me first by ghosting me in the first place when i went through the most traumatic event of my twenty years of living. thank you for making this seriously, this video brought so much clarity for me as i have had so many different types of friends over the course of the years and i somehow always find a way to excuse their toxic behaviors simply because i want to love everyone and everything unconditionally.
Oof relatable in middle school I swear everyone was toxic I was literally in every single friend group until there was nobody left that I could be friends with
@Sylvie Tchialeu it got to a point where they really hurt me and I blocked them on social media and stuff and they obviously saw that and it kinda got awkward and that helped distance us so then I stopped talking to them and made friends that actually care
cutting off my toxic friends was the best thing I ever did for myself. they were manipulative and always wanted things their way. I let it go on for too long, but so I'm glad I finally did it ♥️ I did exactly what you mentioned, I wished them well, even though they still talked shit about me and subtweeted me. it got to a point where I wasn't even angry and just let it all go, and blocked them on everything :) for anyone wanting to let go of shitty friends, do it! do it! do it! it's not always easy, but putting your mental health and overall sanity first is the best thing you can do for yourself. your life will improve so much without toxicity in it ♥️
The toxic friends I had in college taught me so much more about myself and allowed me to see who really saw me for me. I'm so glad you're talking about this!
i’m planning to cut off my toxic friend group today. It has about 15 people in it so that’s a lot of “friends” to loose. They never invite me anywhere, constantly make fun of my appearance and call me boring when i literally talk to them. They’ve made me hate how i look, hate my personality and i always feel like there’s something wrong with me. They’re also VERY negative and some of them talk badly about someone and then become besties the next day. I’ve spent 4 years trying to earn their approval but i realise how sad that is so now i’m letting them go.
Honestly, you remind me more of my cooler older cousin than anything else. We always have talks like this and she's always blessing me with her knowledge of life and advice on the world.
I had a super toxic “best friend” throughout high school and finally got the courage and self-awareness to drop her during senior year. She then tried to ruin my and my boyfriends lives. It was still the best decision I’ve ever made.
I just straight forward told her that I’m not gonna be friends with her anymore. Bruh she talked behind my back, and every time we planned a sleepover she made an excuse to not come over. I’m glad that I’m not friends with her anymore.
i have a friend who i don’t feel myself around and makes me feel guilty. weird thing is when i think about it, she’s actually a really good friend, i mean sure she’s done a few questionable things, but everyone makes mistakes. is there something wrong with me? why does she make me feel so bad? please reply, i have absolutely no idea what to do. ps ily nicky! please do more videos like this!
I’m 9 months late lol but i’m going through the same thing right now. I’ve “cut off” my friend but I’m considering reaching out to her again because I know she’s not the only one at fault. We both did dumb things that hurt each other but I’m afraid that if I go back she just will want me to apologize and won’t own up to what she’s done. But i feel like never talking to her again is really mean so idk what to do and i feel guilty for doing that rn. And then i remember how much fun we had and i’m like maybe it’s worth it to go back even with all the bad things? because we used to rly get along? but yeah girl legit same, recently i feel like i can’t be myself around her and i have to hide who i am so she doesn’t get her feelings hurt (like when me and a guy liked each other) and then she also made me feel guilty about that. Anyway i hope you’re still alive and see this lol bc I’m going through the exact same thing😂
Cutting of toxic friends is honestly one of the best things you can do for yourself! I did this and moved like 5 hours away from my home town for university, so much happier and have grown so much as a person 🥰 incredible video as always Nicole love from Australia as always x
be careful, some of these might be signs of your friend being toxic, but they might also be sign of you being toxic. for example : if you change your personnality around someone, it’s not necessarily because they make you feel like your personnality is not good enough, but because YOU think they wouldn’t like you if you were yourself. that kind of mindset is toxic not only for you, but will also damage your relationship with others. so, idk, all i’m saying is sometimes we play a part in the toxicity of a relationship without even knowing, and it’s important to be aware of that if we wanna improve and change :)
when nikki said think of a toxic person in your life now and I couldn’t come up with any... oof, shows that dropping some people after high school was the right choice
Literally the first video I watched from you was "how I stopped caring about ppl's opinions + how u can too" it just randomly popped in my recommendation and HERE I AM big fan already lol
This video really hit home for me. It took me up until mid-quarantine to realise that real friends aren’t supposed to ghost you and ignore you when you talk to them or make you feel like you’re going to cry when you’re with them and treat you like a background character. It really sucks bc these are the type of people I would surround myself with and now that I’m in college I have no one left, but I think future me is going to be happy to know the signs of a toxic friend and find people that actually care about me the way I’ll care about them
I had 2 small friend groups in high school, one I was the closest with (especially one girl in particular) and eventually hung out with more than the other group. But BOTH groups were the same toward me; I was always the one to initiate conversation and hanging out, I was the only one who checked up on them and no one checked up on me. I felt so lonely in high school and really the reason why was because I knew all my closest friends weren’t always there for me like I was for them. I had anxiety if I was alone on campus, I hated it, so I’d have to rush to meet them and if I wasn’t there immediately, they’d leave without me and I can’t just find them easily because I couldn’t text them and it was a big school. Also, with both friend groups, before we were old enough to get our licenses, my parents would drive us everywhere. Whenever we wanted to hang out, my dad was the ride. I felt like that was the only reason I was invited sometimes. Then when we were old enough to get our licenses, and a few of us did, I stopped being invited because I wasn’t needed anymore for the rides... I still hung out with them during school but didn’t really do much after school and nothing on the weekends. That was only sophomore year. Junior year, my 2 friend groups collided into 1 and again, I wasn’t invited to anything. Finally, in senior year I realized I was the only one texting them and no one texted me first. So I did an experiment, for a while I stopped texting them first. I wanted to see if I was right or if anyone would even notice I wasn’t texting them. And of course, no one texted me. No one checked up on me. I don’t think they even noticed I stopped. That was the last straw for me. I stopped hanging out with them at lunch. I ate lunch in my favorite teachers classroom and hung out with whoever else was in there. After high school, I didn’t talk to any of my “friends” I figured that door was closed. I was sad because I lost all of my friends and wasted so much time feeling lonely with them, when I could have found a different friend group. But with all that said, I still had some really great times with them freshman year at the very least. I had no friends, except for my boyfriend. I felt more lonely than ever because I wasn’t in school anymore. About a year after high school and I haven’t talked to anyone since, I get a text from the 1 friend I was closest with from high school. She asked me how I’ve been and if I wanted to hang out. I said yes because I was lonely and hoped she had changed. We hung out a couple of times just us, and then went on a camping trip with a small group. It was so fun and I was so happy to be back in my friend group. Then, we all made plans to decorated her house for Christmas and watch Christmas movies all night. She said she’d text me when to come over. I never got a text. I go on Snapchat and look at some stories, and they’re all there. I didn’t text her because I didn’t want to seem like I was intruding. I never heard from her or any of them again, it’s now been a year and a half since then. At some point in the last year the one who I was closest with unfollowed me on everything. I don’t know why. It kind of stung when I found that out. But I always felt unwanted with them even when I was invited (except for freshman year, our only good year) so that wasn’t good for my mental health. Every now and then someone will post on their stories that they’re with her and I miss her. Well more like I miss how we used to be freshman year. Today it hit a little harder for some reason. And then I come on RUclips and I see this video. This was recommended to me today for a reason. I unfortunately don’t have a lot of opportunities to make friends and I’m an introvert with social anxiety so it’s really hard for me to make friends even if I tried, so I still only have my boyfriend. And my family. I don’t really have friends since I dropped those people from high school. I don’t know if I’d call them toxic, maybe we just grew apart. Sorry for this super long comment, if anyone is reading this, hi. Thanks for reading this far...🥺
Less people = more peace. Trust me! This time friendship is just for sake of something selfish! Appreciate that you are a queen. Queens walk alone! You're strongest!
Watching this during my lunch break! I also really needed this today. I have a whole playlist of your advice videos and I put them on when I’m having a bad day.
I cut off two toxic friends and I don’t have any friends now but it’s honestly the best time of my life because I get to spend all of my time on myself. We’re thriving out here
0:00 my best friend for 15 years (childhood friend and all that) ❤️ made fun of my appearance and personality and had superiority issues and now i have no idea what kind of person i am or what i look like👁👄👁
I recently left my VERY toxic friends and all I have to say is that it's so worth it. I spent way to long trying to convince myself that they would change or that I had to be better. But I realized that they wouldn't change and that it wasn't my fault. The only reason I didn't leave them sooner was because I was afraid of being alone. But you what? It's much better to be alone then to be with people that make you feel worst about yourself. So keep that in mind. Also would like to point out that we were best friends for over 5 years so it was even more difficult to leave them. If you have something simular going on where you think you want to get out of the friendship but aren't sure here's a question to ask yourself: Are you friends with them because of the actual friendship? Or because of the history?
She has never supported me in anything and she is always belittling me. And then she has the audacity to constantly insult me and then say “aww Ily u know I’m kidding”. Its not funny anymore. I think she genuinely thinks I’m lower than her. Whenever I have some sort of ambition, she’ll always be like “👀um ok, you’re gonna fail”. Like, I’m done. I don’t need her. I only stuck around with her because shes always down to hang out.
I just recently dropped a friend making me depressed but thank you I needed this so I’ll keep this in case I find another toxic friend much love and support I’m new here muah!❤️❤️❤️
Hey nicole your videos really helped me through quarantine, before this whole thing exploded in our faces i was a huge fucking mess, i trusted people too easily,I feared judgement from other people, and i dealt with a toxic relationship, but when i found your channel i improved like ALOT i love how genuine you are and just wanted to say thank u you are trully the coolest aunt Love from the Philippines❤️🇵🇭
every single friendship I've been in has been toxic in one way or another. I genuinely just want to have one person I can rely on and they can rely on me, no matter the time or place. I don't care about being in a relationship or finding the love of my life, I just want a friend to be there for me the way I am always there for everyone else.
I always enjoy your editing style. Or utilize a lot of retro stylistic choices in my edits. Typically I try to discuss thought-provoking concepts. You’re pretty entertaining though I must admit!
honestly idk how u do this but i started watching this video having a mental break down, like genuinely almost starting to panic, n just watching this gave me so much motivation-
and...what if this friend has nothing bad, but I just don't feel excited to see her? What if we were close but it was kind of a duty to hang out with her? edit: (talking about another friend) what if this friend I am trying to "break up with" is so close to a close friend of mine? Sorry for all the drama going on... btw I would appreciate a lot some advice ^^
People change.. either for good or bad. We all grow and we won't be the same forever. It's best you start mentioning changes like "I need some time off by myself" or "I'd like to focus on myself and future for sometime" and hopefully they would get a clue that you need to separate... or the simple easy way is to come clean about your actual feelings towards your friendship and how changing things would be for the better.. Wish you good luck and stay safe dear! 💞
@@nellville Wow I've never received such good advice on youtube! Thank you very much for the time spent responding to me. That is a cute thing to do for a stranger! Take care : )
@@chiarapiavalenti7026 honestly, people are fluid. We like people then we dont, we're interested in this hobby and then we aren't. Dont stress, people grow and change.
i'm literally watching this, while sitting in a bar, alone and having the best time of my life cause you uploaded. you just always manage to have such good timing!!
THESE are the types of videos I love to watch. Thank you for this. I’ve definitely experienced everything you mentioned in this video. And even being a bad friend. I used to be a horrible friend in middle school and I still reflect on that. And it was because I had quite a lot of shitty friends back then. I had like 1 really good friend who I felt so happy being with and I felt like a good person with them. But when I was with the shitty friends there was so much stupid petty drama and I like fed off of that and it all felt gross. And when I was with them they would lowkey bully others and I would be a bystander who would feel shit but wouldn’t stop the bullying. All because I wanted to fit in and not cause drama. High school was a whole other story where I was sick of being surrounded by all those shitty people so I isolated myself.
the thing i struggle with most is not letting go of my friends but making new ones. i have had the same group of friends since 1st grade and during that time i didnt learn how make any new ones and i also have social anxiety so i honestly have no idea what to do- edit : its been six months since i commented this and all i have ti say is that i am no longer in need of lots friends. i realized that the person whose company i enjoy the most is myself and i am okay w having 1 close friend so yay
Hi, I think, I have the same problem as you. and now I'm experiencing it. how do you get through all of that? like, imean. how to cut them off. and how do u make new friend, when you cut them off? Sorry for bad english lol.
@@Novinamargfirstly dw your english is perfect secondly a lot has changed in a year for me. i really recommend watching tam kaur's latest video and idk if this will help but first u need to see if you're introverted or extroverted. if you're extroverted i cant give much advice other than put yourself out there, yes it can be intimidating but as someone who has diagnosed social anxiety it gets easier. but if you're introverted u dont need to make a whole lot of friends and i am sure you'll be okay w a few close friends like me. firstly just identify someone who you want to be friends with and u think youd like. second just go up to them or message them. i know it seems like theyd judge u but most ppl rlly appreciate u reaching out to them. start with a casual hello and compliment them and ask them questions about themselves. do this w as many ppl as u want and see what friends u want to make. if this doesnt help then try making friends online. ( feel free to dm me if u want to) how to cut them off? that can be pretty hard but first u need to identify why u dont want to be friends w them anymore second try to distance yourself from them and if they ever disrespect in any way take that as an opportunity to tell them that they crossed your boundaries and u no longer want to be friends w them ik this might have not been very helpful maybe if u give me more info on your situation i can give better advice or like i said tam has a very well explained video on this too good luck :)
@@urrockstargf111 this! this is what i've been looking for all this time. Thank u so so much for ur best advice. I Will try to do ur advice. Also,yes, I would like to DM u to explain more about the situation to u, what's ur insta username?
so many people yelled at me that i was toxic that I don't know if I actually am a good person. I'm really glad I don't have to worry about those people anymore.
Ya wanting to be accepted is so relatable. i realize I try really hard to be friends with everyone because I feel like if I don't, no one will like me blah blah blah - but what I really got out of this video is that you have to start thinking about what YOU want, not the other person. PRIORITIZE YOUR OWN FEELINGS!!
For a limited time, use the link in my description to get a free trial of Skillshare Premium Membership: skl.sh/nicolerafiee09201
YESSSS WE LOVE ANUT NASTY
instead of a dad or cool aunt, I feel like you're the chill mentor-friend-figure that gives advice to the main character in an indie coming of age film ngl
I felt this comment on a spiritual level
Constanza Galli same
heck yeah
Elle Fanning in 20th century women
omg I’ve always wanted one of those mentor friends 🥺
its 3am and i am DEVOTED to my fav aunt dr nasty
oh look my two favorite RUclipsrs in the same place
It'S tWo Of mY Yt PeOpLe
LOVE YA
😂😂🔥
5 am here
honestly cutting off my toxic friends was the best decision i have ever made
But how can i cut off toxic friends that are in my class and i see them everyday
Otherwise im lonely
@@bibi-oj2ep be lonely then, if that's what you have to do, it's hard at first but eventually you won't even care anymore
@@bibi-oj2ep you will find new friends who are not toxic
@@bibi-oj2ep if there toxic other people probably won’t like them, and they will see you as the toxic people’s friends. So when they see you not hanging around with those people they will probably like you more and want to spend time with you. Talk to new people at the same time as your friends with them and slowly drift
My "best friend" was the most toxic person I have ever met, when we stopped talking to each other it was the biggest relief I have had in my life!
OH MY GOD SAME. literally same. I knew my "best friend" for three years and i recently cut her out of my life & HONESTLY i feel so much better now
Same
Sameee, I had a friend that would always say mean things about me and she called it “honesty” when it was just rude remarks. I’m glad I cut her out of my life.
DUDE SAME- but it was 3 of my best friends, i knew two of them for 7 years and the other was barely a year. i cut them off a month ago and i've never felt more happier in my life
it ended up with me having only one friend, but it was so worth it
How do we view anyone after that . This realization hit home hard. I realized in 2 years I should just move on when fate put us in different school. She had a really good time for the rest of high school while I graduated with no friends and found myself in deep depression . Im healing itz only been 1 yeAr since I signed off from high school. Uni life about to bring a new beginning im reallly not ready
It’s normal to want closure and wonder “why”, but honestly it’s usually not one thing and they won’t be able to give you a straightforward answer most of the time. Accepting a certain amount of anbiguity and moving forward is often what’s required to heal.
If I “drop” my only close friend, then I have no one. I’ve noticed her lack of interest in me and my life. I’ve been the only one to call, text or keep in touch. Recently I ranted to her about some stuff going on in my life and she just outright dismissed it, and ignored it. She stopped caring and only responds out of obligation. I’m so hurt and done with that. But now I have no one.
heyyy that's okay. Now there's room for someone genuine to be close friends with you. Wait for it and the next thing you know, you're gonna be friends with someone who's gonna love you unconditionally and care about you.
be brave to make new good friends 👍🏼
hey! same here... :(
sometimes it’s better to spend some time alone and recover and work on yourself and when you’re ready find some new friends, i know the current pandemic situation makes that hard but online friends are here also 💖
i feel that same way right now because all of my friends (4) and they just make plans and then abandon
i've actually been trying to reflect on how i can stop being just an overall toxic individual so this came at an interesting point
sameeee
I really think you should make a series called “how you can too”. Because you really make me feel good about these and as if your the big sister i never had🥺
yesssss
yes!!!!
yes! or at least a playlist on her channel x
Yessss 🤧
yup👌👌
reasons why I am a good friend
- love unconditionally
- will really try hard to support you and your passions
- always admit when I am wrong
- Puts you before me
things I can work on as a friend
- listening more than I talk
- try to not be so flaky
- let my friends know I am having anxiety so that they don't wonder
- keep checking up on friends and staying in touch
Honestly, it’s good to reflect on ourselves, everyone can be toxic at times, but the important thing is that we learn and grow! I wish we could be friends 💔
Would anyone be bothered if friend asks them how their friends and families are doing? Even texting them while on vacation?! I'm so confused
@@elisestarday6372 no that’s so nice
don't put your friends before yourself babe! it might make you a "good friend" but you need to be a good friend to yourself first, that makes you a better friend to other over all.. as corny as it sounds
my brain: don't cut them off you need them
nicole: DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT BEECH
kaylynn you don’t need toxic friends(!)❤️
Lol what abt when the toxic person is half ur class
@@analisee1136 i felt that omg
kaylynn you don’t need em honey. there’s a reason ur watching this. they’re bad for u.
Trust me it's so freeing to let go and sit alone
This is SO important. We should always look after ourselves and prioritize our feelings and wellbeing. Thanks so much ❤️🌿
Throughout quarantine, I've realized I used to make jokes that were kind of mean, and most of my humour was bringing people down. I said it was a joke, but that does not make it okay. Now I'm working on being an uplifting friend and leaving these habits in 2020.
proud of you :) even tho idk who are
that moment when i couldn't think of anyone that's toxic in my life right now.... and that's what we call a quarentine glow up✨✨✨
SLAYYY
omg dobochobo
This is me except I have no friends anymore lol but honestly I’d rather be alone than be around ppl that make me feel lonely
Also remember that sometimes you won't realize you made the right decision by leaving that friendship until YEARS later. I had a really upsetting friendship/endship almost 10 years ago and found the girl and her "Gretchen" were still talking about me behind my back and on twitter a few weeks ago. Definitely validated my decision. Great advice Nicole, and I love how you prioritize safety and boundaries!
they must be really jealous of you to still be talking about you.
@@bellaheals875 whatever their reason, I'm glad to not be around them anymore
ify
It’s upsetting that someone from your past would talk about you on a public platform like Twitter, years later and especially if any mistakes you had made in the past were when you were still young and were unintentional, and if you learned from the mistakes and have matured. Not to mention, it probably wasn’t one-sided either. (I am speaking from experience haha). People can grow over time and should be allowed to do that, and what the two of them did sounds immature and obsessive. You can’t move on or be content with your life if you don’t let go of certain things.
Im ur friend now, sorry for no options but ya we are so yay'
omg yay
@@NicoleRafiee forced friend ship lol
@@ramakrishnareddy7615 chile what LMAOO
my mom called the mean girl friendships the "nanny mcphee effect" bc the mean girls almost always had personal issues they came to me to solve but were super toxic in return lol i feel this on a deep level (def cut them all out years ago and my standards on how ppl treat me are 📈 now)
Litterly i just ended a friendship with a toxic person, and to be honest i feel better they where draging me down and now I'm happy, so the lesson is nicky is always right.
YES i relate to this so hard
same i related also i love your pfp haha
@@abby6672 you name is hilarious 🤣
@@abby6672 love it
@@yothatsconcerning6338 hahhaha thanks 🤣
ur our cool aunt who’s always there with advice and ready to chat whenever we need it
EXACTLY
this is so creepy... I'm literally going through this right now and I was freaking out
hope you're better now :)
Oh my goodness. Felt this HARD. I have this friend that I’m constantly worried about disappointing and arguing with. This helped so much
Laura Skaggs
I feel that way about my older sister sometimes. But we’re in the same house and family so I can’t really cut her out.
Laura Antonia ya know, that’s alright to feel that way. But I do hope your relationship gets better ❤️
Laura Skaggs yeah, thanks. it’s slowly getting better.
Omg I had one of those friends and honestly, cutting them off was one of the best things I did
YALL IF U EVER NEED TO CUT OFF SOMEONE DO IT NOW!!!! NOWS THE GOOD TIME ITS QUARANTINE 💖💖💖 DO IT FOR UR MENTAL HEALTH 💖💖💖✨✨✨
I was friends with this one girl for about 10 years. She started to get into the wrong crowd and became very toxic. She then decided to spread rumors about me that were not true. I was hurt. So, I cut her off and blocked her on everything. I felt that if I wasn't going to be treated like a true friend that I should cut her out of my life forever. So I did. No regrets.
Me too, the best thing I ever did.
How /:
@@amalsalim5601 I will admit that it wasn't easy at all. I just believe that you need to do what's best for you. Let them think what they wanna think about you. In the end, it really doesn't matter. True friends will stay by your side and let you be yourself.
Proper timing, love. I just cut off a toxic friend.. and I was contemplating reaching out again. I won't be doing that
I was five seconds away from texting my toxic friend back. Thank god for this video
"ur the reflection of the 5 closest people to you" but if there are none then ur the real you and not the reflection of anyone else
But doesn’t that mean the Five people closest to you also hold you in there reflection so clearly your valuable when seen in someone else so why can’t you value you the way you would your 5 closest friends?
It took me so long to realize that I needed to respect myself, I wish I could’ve dropped certain people a loooong time ago
the moment i saw the title, i knew nicole read my mind ngl.
Time stamps ✨💓
6:34 - how to get rid of the toxic friends
8:38- be as respectful as possible
10:21- formally end a friendship
11:41- distance yourself from others
16:30- outro
I was the toxic friend without realizing it, but as I grew older I started to realize I had a lot of anger/frustrations esp with my mom that would end up being put onto friends. It's sad how many friends I have lost. I wish I would've realized this sooner.
I understand this too well :c I hope you’re doing okay!
Hope ur doing alright💗
I want to be better at boundaries, having them and respecting them.
Same, growing up I was taught boundaries were mean, and now I'm trying to teach myself to maybe not? Do that? And put up and respect boundaries.
@@lindsaydunn6699 same im scared of saying no or telling someone something makes me uncomfortable.
literally, just cut a friend off yesterday lmaoooo we are on the same wavelength. ily!
this video was extremely comforting for me, i went through a bad car accident around December of last year, I broke my femur and was stuck in the hospital for a whole week. my “close friends” who I met through Instagram literally ghosted me after my accident, since I was the one who gave them rides to go to the thrift store, concerts or to just go anywhere they wanted. this tore me apart as a result, i felt so worthless and what made it even worse was they had the audacity to still interact with a boy who took advantage of me. it took me a while to accept what happened to me, and that my so called friends literally faked their support yet kept him on their social media’s to receive compliments from him? at first i felt like i was being mean for dropping them but technically they dropped me first by ghosting me in the first place when i went through the most traumatic event of my twenty years of living.
thank you for making this seriously, this video brought so much clarity for me as i have had so many different types of friends over the course of the years and i somehow always find a way to excuse their toxic behaviors simply because i want to love everyone and everything unconditionally.
That sounds awful. I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you’re doing better now.
"...or maybe you're the Karen, which in that case you are perfect"
True
Oof relatable in middle school I swear everyone was toxic I was literally in every single friend group until there was nobody left that I could be friends with
@Sylvie Tchialeu yes I have amazing friends now I had some toxic ones but I got rid of them quickly
@Sylvie Tchialeu it got to a point where they really hurt me and I blocked them on social media and stuff and they obviously saw that and it kinda got awkward and that helped distance us so then I stopped talking to them and made friends that actually care
I was best friends with somebody (I wasn’t even her best friend
cutting off my toxic friends was the best thing I ever did for myself. they were manipulative and always wanted things their way. I let it go on for too long, but so I'm glad I finally did it ♥️ I did exactly what you mentioned, I wished them well, even though they still talked shit about me and subtweeted me. it got to a point where I wasn't even angry and just let it all go, and blocked them on everything :) for anyone wanting to let go of shitty friends, do it! do it! do it! it's not always easy, but putting your mental health and overall sanity first is the best thing you can do for yourself. your life will improve so much without toxicity in it ♥️
fighting (and even ending friendship) through text with toxic friends so they can't manipulate you with fake tears >>>>
The toxic friends I had in college taught me so much more about myself and allowed me to see who really saw me for me. I'm so glad you're talking about this!
I love one of *"THOSE"* videos lol
heheh me too
you're all of the parents that's just how it be
i’m planning to cut off my toxic friend group today. It has about 15 people in it so that’s a lot of “friends” to loose. They never invite me anywhere, constantly make fun of my appearance and call me boring when i literally talk to them. They’ve made me hate how i look, hate my personality and i always feel like there’s something wrong with me. They’re also VERY negative and some of them talk badly about someone and then become besties the next day. I’ve spent 4 years trying to earn their approval but i realise how sad that is so now i’m letting them go.
All of your fans love you (including me) you have so many friends and so many people that loves you. Also what can i say i am just too early
Omg i always thought that those comments were so lucky I can't believe how nikki nasty liked mine. I feel better! Thanks ☺️
“What kind of family relationship do we have?” me: yes
ugh cutting off toxic “friends” has been So good. I’m in such a good headspace since doing so!!!
I love how this video proves that "Mean Girls" are the most universal thing that has ever happened
lmao i was thinking the same thing
Honestly, you remind me more of my cooler older cousin than anything else. We always have talks like this and she's always blessing me with her knowledge of life and advice on the world.
sooo guess who really needed this... ME
I had a super toxic “best friend” throughout high school and finally got the courage and self-awareness to drop her during senior year. She then tried to ruin my and my boyfriends lives. It was still the best decision I’ve ever made.
I just straight forward told her that I’m not gonna be friends with her anymore. Bruh she talked behind my back, and every time we planned a sleepover she made an excuse to not come over. I’m glad that I’m not friends with her anymore.
i have a friend who i don’t feel myself around and makes me feel guilty. weird thing is when i think about it, she’s actually a really good friend, i mean sure she’s done a few questionable things, but everyone makes mistakes. is there something wrong with me? why does she make me feel so bad?
please reply, i have absolutely no idea what to do.
ps ily nicky! please do more videos like this!
I’m 9 months late lol but i’m going through the same thing right now. I’ve “cut off” my friend but I’m considering reaching out to her again because I know she’s not the only one at fault. We both did dumb things that hurt each other but I’m afraid that if I go back she just will want me to apologize and won’t own up to what she’s done. But i feel like never talking to her again is really mean so idk what to do and i feel guilty for doing that rn. And then i remember how much fun we had and i’m like maybe it’s worth it to go back even with all the bad things? because we used to rly get along? but yeah girl legit same, recently i feel like i can’t be myself around her and i have to hide who i am so she doesn’t get her feelings hurt (like when me and a guy liked each other) and then she also made me feel guilty about that. Anyway i hope you’re still alive and see this lol bc I’m going through the exact same thing😂
YES another one of “these” I love it
Cutting of toxic friends is honestly one of the best things you can do for yourself! I did this and moved like 5 hours away from my home town for university, so much happier and have grown so much as a person 🥰 incredible video as always Nicole love from Australia as always x
i was literally just listening to your podcast and got so excited because you posted
I WAS DOING THE SAME OMGG 🥰
I literally was just thinking how there’s been no good content today. And then here you and bestdressed are posting 😭💗
be careful, some of these might be signs of your friend being toxic, but they might also be sign of you being toxic. for example : if you change your personnality around someone, it’s not necessarily because they make you feel like your personnality is not good enough, but because YOU think they wouldn’t like you if you were yourself. that kind of mindset is toxic not only for you, but will also damage your relationship with others. so, idk, all i’m saying is sometimes we play a part in the toxicity of a relationship without even knowing, and it’s important to be aware of that if we wanna improve and change :)
when nikki said think of a toxic person in your life now and I couldn’t come up with any... oof, shows that dropping some people after high school was the right choice
how did you know i NEEDED this you’re ab ángel for this
Literally the first video I watched from you was "how I stopped caring about ppl's opinions + how u can too" it just randomly popped in my recommendation and HERE I AM big fan already lol
time for the highlight of my week to be an advice video from my fellow virgo
This video really hit home for me. It took me up until mid-quarantine to realise that real friends aren’t supposed to ghost you and ignore you when you talk to them or make you feel like you’re going to cry when you’re with them and treat you like a background character. It really sucks bc these are the type of people I would surround myself with and now that I’m in college I have no one left, but I think future me is going to be happy to know the signs of a toxic friend and find people that actually care about me the way I’ll care about them
Nicole, you’re a true angel. I have been in so many toxic relationships lately. Your video is so helpful, I LOVE YOU
I love you too!!
I had 2 small friend groups in high school, one I was the closest with (especially one girl in particular) and eventually hung out with more than the other group. But BOTH groups were the same toward me; I was always the one to initiate conversation and hanging out, I was the only one who checked up on them and no one checked up on me. I felt so lonely in high school and really the reason why was because I knew all my closest friends weren’t always there for me like I was for them. I had anxiety if I was alone on campus, I hated it, so I’d have to rush to meet them and if I wasn’t there immediately, they’d leave without me and I can’t just find them easily because I couldn’t text them and it was a big school. Also, with both friend groups, before we were old enough to get our licenses, my parents would drive us everywhere. Whenever we wanted to hang out, my dad was the ride. I felt like that was the only reason I was invited sometimes. Then when we were old enough to get our licenses, and a few of us did, I stopped being invited because I wasn’t needed anymore for the rides... I still hung out with them during school but didn’t really do much after school and nothing on the weekends. That was only sophomore year. Junior year, my 2 friend groups collided into 1 and again, I wasn’t invited to anything. Finally, in senior year I realized I was the only one texting them and no one texted me first. So I did an experiment, for a while I stopped texting them first. I wanted to see if I was right or if anyone would even notice I wasn’t texting them. And of course, no one texted me. No one checked up on me. I don’t think they even noticed I stopped. That was the last straw for me. I stopped hanging out with them at lunch. I ate lunch in my favorite teachers classroom and hung out with whoever else was in there. After high school, I didn’t talk to any of my “friends” I figured that door was closed. I was sad because I lost all of my friends and wasted so much time feeling lonely with them, when I could have found a different friend group. But with all that said, I still had some really great times with them freshman year at the very least. I had no friends, except for my boyfriend. I felt more lonely than ever because I wasn’t in school anymore. About a year after high school and I haven’t talked to anyone since, I get a text from the 1 friend I was closest with from high school. She asked me how I’ve been and if I wanted to hang out. I said yes because I was lonely and hoped she had changed. We hung out a couple of times just us, and then went on a camping trip with a small group. It was so fun and I was so happy to be back in my friend group. Then, we all made plans to decorated her house for Christmas and watch Christmas movies all night. She said she’d text me when to come over. I never got a text. I go on Snapchat and look at some stories, and they’re all there. I didn’t text her because I didn’t want to seem like I was intruding. I never heard from her or any of them again, it’s now been a year and a half since then. At some point in the last year the one who I was closest with unfollowed me on everything. I don’t know why. It kind of stung when I found that out. But I always felt unwanted with them even when I was invited (except for freshman year, our only good year) so that wasn’t good for my mental health. Every now and then someone will post on their stories that they’re with her and I miss her. Well more like I miss how we used to be freshman year. Today it hit a little harder for some reason. And then I come on RUclips and I see this video. This was recommended to me today for a reason. I unfortunately don’t have a lot of opportunities to make friends and I’m an introvert with social anxiety so it’s really hard for me to make friends even if I tried, so I still only have my boyfriend. And my family. I don’t really have friends since I dropped those people from high school. I don’t know if I’d call them toxic, maybe we just grew apart. Sorry for this super long comment, if anyone is reading this, hi. Thanks for reading this far...🥺
Less people = more peace. Trust me! This time friendship is just for sake of something selfish! Appreciate that you are a queen. Queens walk alone! You're strongest!
I’m so sorry you were used like that you didn’t deserve that at all 🫂🤍 I truly hope you meet someone who values you the way you value others
40 people can't be first. so excited to watch this video!
Crying this is literally what I needed to watch today 😭
Watching this during my lunch break! I also really needed this today. I have a whole playlist of your advice videos and I put them on when I’m having a bad day.
I cut off two toxic friends and I don’t have any friends now but it’s honestly the best time of my life because I get to spend all of my time on myself. We’re thriving out here
is it just me or do you like how her vids are so calm and the lights are so dark and making you feel relax (;
(we love Nicole)
The video I needed years ago😭
It really helped me reflect on how my friendships ended, so I'm glad I consulted Dr Nasty🙆 Thanks✨❤
0:00 my best friend for 15 years (childhood friend and all that) ❤️ made fun of my appearance and personality and had superiority issues and now i have no idea what kind of person i am or what i look like👁👄👁
I recently left my VERY toxic friends and all I have to say is that it's so worth it. I spent way to long trying to convince myself that they would change or that I had to be better. But I realized that they wouldn't change and that it wasn't my fault. The only reason I didn't leave them sooner was because I was afraid of being alone. But you what? It's much better to be alone then to be with people that make you feel worst about yourself. So keep that in mind.
Also would like to point out that we were best friends for over 5 years so it was even more difficult to leave them. If you have something simular going on where you think you want to get out of the friendship but aren't sure here's a question to ask yourself: Are you friends with them because of the actual friendship? Or because of the history?
She has never supported me in anything and she is always belittling me. And then she has the audacity to constantly insult me and then say “aww Ily u know I’m kidding”. Its not funny anymore. I think she genuinely thinks I’m lower than her. Whenever I have some sort of ambition, she’ll always be like “👀um ok, you’re gonna fail”. Like, I’m done. I don’t need her. I only stuck around with her because shes always down to hang out.
this week has been a crazy time but i knew today was nicole rafiee day and that made me happy :)
i really need to stop putting people who i feel threatened by down. this helped alot and i really needed this
I just recently dropped a friend making me depressed but thank you I needed this so I’ll keep this in case I find another toxic friend much love and support I’m new here muah!❤️❤️❤️
Hey nicole your videos really helped me through quarantine, before this whole thing exploded in our faces i was a huge fucking mess, i trusted people too easily,I feared judgement from other people, and i dealt with a toxic relationship, but when i found your channel i improved like ALOT i love how genuine you are and just wanted to say thank u you are trully the coolest aunt
Love from the Philippines❤️🇵🇭
just today i was thinking about how i’d end my toxic friendships so this video is perfect for me now thank you 💕
every single friendship I've been in has been toxic in one way or another. I genuinely just want to have one person I can rely on and they can rely on me, no matter the time or place. I don't care about being in a relationship or finding the love of my life, I just want a friend to be there for me the way I am always there for everyone else.
I hope you find your friend 🥺
I always enjoy your editing style. Or utilize a lot of retro stylistic choices in my edits. Typically I try to discuss thought-provoking concepts. You’re pretty entertaining though I must admit!
OH MY GOD I REPLIED TO YOUR STORY WITH THIS I NEED IT SO BAD I SCREAMED
I really enjoy your videos Auntie Nasty. I can't explain what about them makes me so happy, but they do.
Nicole once again proves she's is psychic by uploading a video I need most
This series should be called “how u can too”
you just give off that nurturing vibe=mom/dad/cool aunt leader of the group
damn nicole, absolutely perfect timing. i needed this lol
honestly idk how u do this but i started watching this video having a mental break down, like genuinely almost starting to panic, n just watching this gave me so much motivation-
and...what if this friend has nothing bad, but I just don't feel excited to see her? What if we were close but it was kind of a duty to hang out with her?
edit: (talking about another friend) what if this friend I am trying to "break up with" is so close to a close friend of mine?
Sorry for all the drama going on... btw I would appreciate a lot some advice ^^
start distancing yourself from those friends before it turns out toxic
People change.. either for good or bad. We all grow and we won't be the same forever. It's best you start mentioning changes like "I need some time off by myself" or "I'd like to focus on myself and future for sometime" and hopefully they would get a clue that you need to separate... or the simple easy way is to come clean about your actual feelings towards your friendship and how changing things would be for the better..
Wish you good luck and stay safe dear! 💞
@@nellville Wow I've never received such good advice on youtube! Thank you very much for the time spent responding to me. That is a cute thing to do for a stranger! Take care : )
@@chiarapiavalenti7026 honestly, people are fluid. We like people then we dont, we're interested in this hobby and then we aren't. Dont stress, people grow and change.
@@calciumstealer2448 probably you are right, I stress over too much stuff 😂. It is time to let go, yup. Thnx 🥰🥰🥰
i'm literally watching this, while sitting in a bar, alone and having the best time of my life cause you uploaded. you just always manage to have such good timing!!
Mean girls is the Bible . Thank you for this 🙏
THESE are the types of videos I love to watch. Thank you for this. I’ve definitely experienced everything you mentioned in this video. And even being a bad friend. I used to be a horrible friend in middle school and I still reflect on that. And it was because I had quite a lot of shitty friends back then. I had like 1 really good friend who I felt so happy being with and I felt like a good person with them. But when I was with the shitty friends there was so much stupid petty drama and I like fed off of that and it all felt gross. And when I was with them they would lowkey bully others and I would be a bystander who would feel shit but wouldn’t stop the bullying. All because I wanted to fit in and not cause drama. High school was a whole other story where I was sick of being surrounded by all those shitty people so I isolated myself.
Me: wondering how the heck I don't have any toxic friends
Also Me: wait... I don't have any. Period. We love social anxiety lol
Wow you should be so proud. People all over the world watches your videos. We love you girl!
Where all my proud lone wolfs at?!
Nicole is the monotone straight to the point bff we all need to help us whip our lives into shape
i totally needed this video i definitely should to cut out some friends
im so glad i’ve gotten over this type of dynamics a long time ago
the thing i struggle with most is not letting go of my friends but making new ones. i have had the same group of friends since 1st grade and during that time i didnt learn how make any new ones and i also have social anxiety so i honestly have no idea what to do-
edit : its been six months since i commented this and all i have ti say is that i am no longer in need of lots friends. i realized that the person whose company i enjoy the most is myself and i am okay w having 1 close friend so yay
Hi, I think, I have the same problem as you. and now I'm experiencing it. how do you get through all of that? like, imean. how to cut them off. and how do u make new friend, when you cut them off? Sorry for bad english lol.
@@Novinamargfirstly dw your english is perfect secondly a lot has changed in a year for me. i really recommend watching tam kaur's latest video and idk if this will help but first u need to see if you're introverted or extroverted. if you're extroverted i cant give much advice other than put yourself out there, yes it can be intimidating but as someone who has diagnosed social anxiety it gets easier. but if you're introverted u dont need to make a whole lot of friends and i am sure you'll be okay w a few close friends like me. firstly just identify someone who you want to be friends with and u think youd like. second just go up to them or message them. i know it seems like theyd judge u but most ppl rlly appreciate u reaching out to them. start with a casual hello and compliment them and ask them questions about themselves. do this w as many ppl as u want and see what friends u want to make. if this doesnt help then try making friends online. ( feel free to dm me if u want to)
how to cut them off? that can be pretty hard but first u need to identify why u dont want to be friends w them anymore second try to distance yourself from them and if they ever disrespect in any way take that as an opportunity to tell them that they crossed your boundaries and u no longer want to be friends w them
ik this might have not been very helpful maybe if u give me more info on your situation i can give better advice or like i said tam has a very well explained video on this too good luck :)
@@urrockstargf111 this! this is what i've been looking for all this time. Thank u so so much for ur best advice. I Will try to do ur advice. Also,yes, I would like to DM u to explain more about the situation to u, what's ur insta username?
@@Novinamarg my main is currently deactivated but u can dm me on @yourrockstarrgf and I am glad I could help
@@urrockstargf111 thank u! thank u!
so many people yelled at me that i was toxic that I don't know if I actually am a good person. I'm really glad I don't have to worry about those people anymore.
lol my bestfriend texted me “i kissed ur ex” the same ex that i’m still in love with, and somehow manages to get mad at ME.. yeah that’s my life ;)
you can change it if you want... just care about yourself more :)
Ya wanting to be accepted is so relatable. i realize I try really hard to be friends with everyone because I feel like if I don't, no one will like me blah blah blah - but what I really got out of this video is that you have to start thinking about what YOU want, not the other person. PRIORITIZE YOUR OWN FEELINGS!!