Kleptomanen (The Kleptomania Song, 1928)

Note: this channel does not condone such behavior! From the satrirical 1928 Revue Es Liegt in der Luft; music by Mischa Spoliansky and lyrics by Marcellus Schiffer. English lyrics here by Steven Edis, who is at the piano! Sung by Dale Rapley and Patricia Hammond. Holt Festival, 2024. The setting of the Revue is a department store, hence the subject-matter.
Everybody knows the feeling
We all find it so appealling
We just love the buzz,
We just love the buzz of stealing!
You can really make a killing
While your pockets you are filling!
If you don't get caught,
If you don't get caught, it's thrilling!
Though you may feel apprehensive
The selection's quite extensive
And the price is
And the price is not expensive.
Though it's not for personal gain, ya
Must agree there's nothing zanier
Than a case of,
Than a case of Kleptomania!
We have a little hobby, no, we ought to say a passion
We steal and steal and steal as though it's going out of fashion.
It's not because our minds are gone; it's not for lack of wealth.
We do it cause it turns us on, but we're in the best of health.
Original lyrics are if anything more explicit even than that:
Alle Männer, alle Frauen
Welche Waren sich beschauen
Lieben das Gefühl, lieben das Gefühl zu klauen
Welche Lust, voller Erschrecken
Irgendetwas einzustecken
Nur um das Geschäft, nur um das Geschäft zu necken
Oder, welches Wonneweben
Was Gefund'nes aufzuheben
Und es dann nicht, und es dann nicht abzugebe
Ringsher zum Alarm anblasen
Wenn die Kleptomanen rasen
Wenn die Klepto-, wenn die Klepto-manen rasen
Wir haben einen kleinen Stich
Wir stehlen wie die Raben
Trotzdem wir es ja eigentlich
Garnicht nötig haben
Uns treibt nicht finanzielle Not
Nein, ein ganz and'rer Grund
Wir tun's aus sexueller Not -
Aber sonst fühl'n wir uns gesund
Aber sonst fühl'n wir uns gesund

[@stephenlawson5215]

It looks a great show to have seen. You could put this song alongside the great Lionel Bart’s “You’ve Got to Pick a Pocket or Two “ from “Oliver!”, maybe?

[@marklammas2465]

Fell of the back of a lorry, did it? 😁😉

[@johnmcmicking395]

Well done, as always ! (Though, perhaps, just a teeny bit amoral in its sentiments ... ?)