@@labt8194 while it is always good to have passion projects on the side some people (myself included) who have crappy families and no one to fall back on don't really have an option when it comes to going out and working to provide for yourself. Sometimes you have to take whatever comes
Ye mate of mine did security for an office like that. They had PS4s and FIFA in an alcove by the tea room, and astroturf instead of carpeting everywhere. Bet it was so much fun there 🤣
I remember a time when sad/depressing songs were primarily emo tracks and goth music, but damn this easily a great replacement. shit slaps man, good work.
When I used to work in an office I couldn't stand this or you had to chuck Susan from the opposite end of the office who you've spoken to twice and couldn't give af about £3 for her Birthday. I wasn't liked very much for refusing to partake in any of it.
@@labt8194 Ye no wonder tbh. Nowt worse than someone who insists on making an already shit situation a bit shitter by refusing to engage in token gestures
Nailed everything, everything, right down to the Original Source Mint and Tea Tree. I dont understand how this is possible; I wouldve thought anyone who understood this life would be too soul crushed to create anything of this quality.
The "wake up, go work, go bed" with the lack of "to" anywhere makes me think our lad is possibly from East Midlands somewhere. They seem to not like using "to" around Burton, Leicester etc
This was my first exposure to your work. Given the meme-esque video, I kept expecting it to take a full comedy turn. But rather you just made a quircky banger. Nice one, bruv.
Great stuff. It’s rare that content actually invokes a reaction in me but this genuinely made me smile and laugh out loud. An astute satire on the banality of modernity. Kudos sir.
Only thing missing from this is the now seemingly customary "collection pot" for people who have resigned. As if the remaining employees should all pay towards another employee despite being on similar salaries.
@@jackoates6418 its not unique to this type of job. Literally everywhere I worked in the uk when someone left or retired we did them a leaving drinks and collected money to get them a farewell gift.
Tbh mate you're obviously a bit of a nob if you are just sh1tting on chipping in for someone's leaving/retiring gift. It's just a nice gesture for people when they go.
@@nektarios5291not really a nob. I don't sacrifice my time away from my family so that I can earn money and then give it to some absolute stranger. That money is for my family. If a company wants to pay for it, good for them
Get some subtitles on these vids man and I think you’re on your way to (niche RUclipsr) superstardom. I want to see the majesty of your script in visual form in addition to your inimitable dulcet tones. Excellent vid but that’s not a surprise at this point!
Always so accurate with the stereotypes 😂 there's always some ex private school twats on the tube called Charlie or Alastair or Tarquin with the same ted baker/Ralph Lauren shirts
Britain: A bunch of sweaty people rushing around deperately trying to get to work at 8:30am just to be unproductive as fuck because they have no real hard skills.
It's a ZIRP phenomenon. If you ever feel you are showing up to work just to keep a seat warm remember it's probably true and soon only those with hard skills will be employable soon as interest rate fallout starts.
1st one I can't relate to in any way. Never worked in an office never been on a train. Always driven always been a tradesmen I've no clue what office people do all day . All the others I know. I work with Deno and some Blue passport belters . I got my own cup at a couple Waitrose wobblers houses as well.
My heart goes out to office workers. I don't know what you are actually doing but from the canon of cultural world in which you feature it seems that things are really tough for you.
This track really synergised my paradigms and promoted value for both my clients and our company's structure.
Now *that’s* blue sky, outside of the box, client-focused thinking
😂😂😂😂
Big up the shareholders
See ya Col.
But what was the impact on our KPI's???
WE MAKING IT OUT OF THE PIVOT TABLES WITH THIS ONE 🔥🔥🔥
"time management course...only took 5 hours" I felt this.
It's Stress Awareness Month where I work. Like we're not all acutely aware of our stress and the causes of it.
😂
Stick that up your dojo!
Really encapsulates the misery of living in a modern Western city and working a mundane office job. Top work beanstalk old bean.
It’s not even in the cities. I live in a rundown Pryzmbreak-esque town, back in the office on Tuesday, and it’s just as boring and mundane.
Don’t worry, the modern eastern city’s are like this too.
@@Jwlarthe modern southern cities are also like this
I did that 💩 for 30 years! Living nightmare, thankfully I got out, less money but so much more happy and healthy.
@@garyblinston193what do you do now?
well done to HR for walking an impressive 10K in 10 days
Gotta get that cash for my eventual newbuild home with a never ending snag list.
Glad to see that soul crushing office work spans both sides of the pond.
only for those who choose to do this miserable type of work.
@@labt8194 while it is always good to have passion projects on the side some people (myself included) who have crappy families and no one to fall back on don't really have an option when it comes to going out and working to provide for yourself. Sometimes you have to take whatever comes
@@labt8194not everyone has a trust fund
We get 37.5 hours on the regs, honestly don't know how you yanks pull 50s, I respect it
Yes, we sadly imported this shit from you guys.
This hits home so hard... my employer tried to explain how they were different from other places because they have a ping pong table in reception.
Ye mate of mine did security for an office like that. They had PS4s and FIFA in an alcove by the tea room, and astroturf instead of carpeting everywhere. Bet it was so much fun there 🤣
Deanomania doesn't seem so mockable now
Deanomania is my morning alarm.
deanomania is the dream
deanomania is the dream
Future historians will be thanking you for summarising 21century British life in under 3 mins
Weve got 76 more years left, things can always get worse
Depressingly accurate!
God, was the timing of this video deliberate?
HR girls walking a moderate distance hits hard.
Ah, the bleak soulless grind of corporate employment. Merry Christmas!
Oh no, I knew this day would come. The day I find myself described in a beanstalk song.
I have been described in all of them so far. You should try being more British m80
You’re a bard for the loser lower middle class and I’m loving it.
I'm so happy I don't have to lead a life of drudgery like this.
Literally shakespeare
@@stevovimywhat do you do? sell your arse down the local?
@@stevovimy Mate that's such a gash little humblebrag 🤣
@@timcoleman3784 Prostitution offers more freedom than the modern day workhouse which is mid level office work you utter Deano.
Top quality as ever, cheers to everyone with 30 odd hours of freedom left.
😢
We are raising shareholder value with this one 🔥🔥
Having PTSD flashbacks of 7:50am on the Jubilee line. Bang this one out tonight boys - wagie life starts again on Tuesday (great stuff as always too)
not the flight club reference fucking hell the pits of awkward corporate socials
Getting real Mark Corrigan at JLB energy from this.
You're never getting that ergonomic keyboard.
@@chetmanley1885I won’t need it at Banditos.
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"
Brew has lived every life in the UK at this point.
I remember a time when sad/depressing songs were primarily emo tracks and goth music, but damn this easily a great replacement. shit slaps man, good work.
I am absolutely haunted by this track
Left a corporate job to be a gardener and it’s awesome
"Chuck a fiver in" - Too real.
When I used to work in an office I couldn't stand this or you had to chuck Susan from the opposite end of the office who you've spoken to twice and couldn't give af about £3 for her Birthday. I wasn't liked very much for refusing to partake in any of it.
@@labt8194 Ye no wonder tbh. Nowt worse than someone who insists on making an already shit situation a bit shitter by refusing to engage in token gestures
Nailed everything, everything, right down to the Original Source Mint and Tea Tree. I dont understand how this is possible; I wouldve thought anyone who understood this life would be too soul crushed to create anything of this quality.
You've completed the national parodies mate time for the hyperlocal ribbings
This really crushed my spirit for some reason
Wait until you listen to your first Pink Floyd album.
@@alfieelf Any day now, grandad
Don't even have an office job but this made me depressed. Well done
We need Beanstalk on spotify for 2024 gotta bump it on the tube while I go for my £10 coffee and croissant combo
He already is on Spotify
The "wake up, go work, go bed" with the lack of "to" anywhere makes me think our lad is possibly from East Midlands somewhere. They seem to not like using "to" around Burton, Leicester etc
Burton is in the WM.
The timing of this as im dreading going back to the office...
HR walking a moderate distance 😂😂
“Time management course, only took 5 hours” is the realest and most depressing line ever
"2 years go by and I'm fat now" 😂😂😂
1:31 ha, I actually go to work drinks at that pub!!!
This was my first exposure to your work. Given the meme-esque video, I kept expecting it to take a full comedy turn. But rather you just made a quircky banger. Nice one, bruv.
I’m putting in my two weeks notice today. Ngl I’m kinda scared even tho I have something new lined up. So thanks for the extra motivation.
Wagies on suicide watch
Had this on repeat since it came out.. Anthem of the month
Genuinley an absolute banger.
We need one of these about LinkedIn and what every eventuality in life teaches us about b2b sales
the guy from fight club never had to deal with hotdesking tho
I used to work in Manchester. This song is insanely accurate
"Haha you mean Madchester innit mate, we're mad for it innit mate haha Manneh pride mate hahaha"
No.
@@jackoates6418thankfully, no one said anything along these lines when I worked in the city
Horrid place.
I'm on the cusp of going into this sort of work and already dreading it, belter track cheers Jack
Don’t do it mate
It's not worth it
Then don’t lol. If you’re already dreading it and you ain’t even started, just don’t. It’ll kill your soul
bin it off, you'd be better off doing a lower paid job in a more wholesome environment, like a coffee shop or something
You'll earn more money as a labourer on a building site lol. You'll have to deal with top lad deanos though.
Mate, you hit the nail on the head with this one. Well played.
"Much at the weekend, me neither" hits hard af.
Great stuff. It’s rare that content actually invokes a reaction in me but this genuinely made me smile and laugh out loud. An astute satire on the banality of modernity. Kudos sir.
I’m still laughing at ‘two Prets deep with Steven Bartlett’
One to listen to on repeat on the Tube and in the open-plan during blue Monday.
The British Rucka rucka ali
This song has really motivated me to hop on the tube and make my boss some money! I’m so grateful to be a wage slave!
whenever beanstalk updloads, i just #liveLaughLove
Love to your mum
It's not a house, it's a home.
Save water, drink champagne
Will do everything in my power to not end up like this
"Darlin, wake up! Sans just dropped another banger!"
This is epic,reminds of the streets back in the day but more effortlessly catchy boom
You need more subs man. Every video you make is so on point
I'm looking for work currently and this made me not rush quite as much to be sat down in an office chair again, cheers
I know this is supposed to make us reflect on the misery of mundane office life, but that office is considerably better than the one I work in.
What work do you do?
Love the Fish and a Rice cake guy for repeat tortellini, I feel called out 🤣
just finishing work now (unironically)
had this on replay mate, legendary song
This one felt more personal lol. It felt like you took little parts of every one of the places I've worked and put them together.
Feeling the synergy on this one 10 minutes before my alarm is about to go off #grindset
Love all ur bits mate
10 k 10 days surviving lol
That tube advert is hilariously accurate. Cracks me up
"He's actually having a Tuesday Carabao Cup and curry night" is possibly the most tragic line ever written
Also I'm really wanting to go to Big Clives carabao cup and curry night...
Only thing missing from this is the now seemingly customary "collection pot" for people who have resigned. As if the remaining employees should all pay towards another employee despite being on similar salaries.
As someone who isn't familiar with this particular corporate hell, could you elaborate? That sounds mental.
@@jackoates6418 its not unique to this type of job. Literally everywhere I worked in the uk when someone left or retired we did them a leaving drinks and collected money to get them a farewell gift.
Tbh mate you're obviously a bit of a nob if you are just sh1tting on chipping in for someone's leaving/retiring gift. It's just a nice gesture for people when they go.
@@nektarios5291not really a nob. I don't sacrifice my time away from my family so that I can earn money and then give it to some absolute stranger. That money is for my family.
If a company wants to pay for it, good for them
@@nektarios5291 except the company should pay for it
These songs really made me realise how much alcohol is part of our culture
"two years go by and I'm fat now" is too close to home.
The Undertaker sat up with blood on his face perfectly fits that moment when you wake up and remember that you have to go to work.
Get some subtitles on these vids man and I think you’re on your way to (niche RUclipsr) superstardom. I want to see the majesty of your script in visual form in addition to your inimitable dulcet tones.
Excellent vid but that’s not a surprise at this point!
Always so accurate with the stereotypes 😂 there's always some ex private school twats on the tube called Charlie or Alastair or Tarquin with the same ted baker/Ralph Lauren shirts
deep in the sans beanstalk iceberg at this point 💀
Painfully accurate, can tell u spent a lot a time w the pics too, so many soooolid references
The official song of "B2B SaaS" grinder.
What an absolute masterpiece ❤
I can’t watch any more, I want to do myself in.
If Mark Corrigan could rap, this the sort of real shit he'd be laying down.
Chance would be a fine thing...
Fuck you for dropping this right off the back of the Christmas comedown when I’m staring down the barrel of 2nd Jan.
Only real ones remember Jayjay okocha
this is high art
"You're laughing. This is the inescapable daily torture for 45 million people in modern Britain, and you're laughing."
'Chuck a five in' gets me every time.
LOOK ON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR
I've never been so glad I went down the trades route. That looks soul crushing.
Bruv, trade work is also soul crushing. Maybe a bit less, and you get more variety, but it’s exhausting.😂
Noice, British dystopia nailed....
Britain: A bunch of sweaty people rushing around deperately trying to get to work at 8:30am just to be unproductive as fuck because they have no real hard skills.
I remember them Thursdays and the herd of sheep being packed on to the Jubilee line
Your references in the pictures in the videos have me in tears jay jay okocha and Olof mellberg😂
Woke up every day for the past week ready for another day of leaving at 7 and getting home at 9 with WAKE UP GO WORK GO BED on loop in my brain
we honestly live in a dystopia
It's a ZIRP phenomenon. If you ever feel you are showing up to work just to keep a seat warm remember it's probably true and soon only those with hard skills will be employable soon as interest rate fallout starts.
1st one I can't relate to in any way. Never worked in an office never been on a train. Always driven always been a tradesmen I've no clue what office people do all day .
All the others I know. I work with Deno and some Blue passport belters . I got my own cup at a couple Waitrose wobblers houses as well.
I've worked office jobs (still do) and the worst ones are EXACTLY like this.
Can you make a version of these with in time subtitles for us hard of hearing mate? Love the work!
My heart goes out to office workers. I don't know what you are actually doing but from the canon of cultural world in which you feature it seems that things are really tough for you.
Thanks mate. It's fucking grim. Half of us don't even know what we are doing either.
Oh well, only another 40 years to go
RIP bro 😞 I'm in the office only once a week other days I'm at home or on site visit but that 1 day in the office is grim@@UmbertoDavidPanda
Work at Flight Club, smiled at the reference
The first rule of Flight Club is you don't talk about Flight Club
Pro tip, learn Macros and a smidgeon of VBA, then automate your entire workstream without telling anyone
Get some Microsoft certs so you can get promoted to do even less work.
Leaving this world was the best thing I ever did.
What planet you on now bruv?
WE MAKING IT ONTO THE PACKED 8AM BUS WITH THIS ONE 🔥🔥🔥💯💯
0:28 That advert! 😂 Spot on, like your rhymes
“Happy Friday”
Jesus. Beanstalk entering 2024 with existential dread
Genius.
Now this is the actual iconic British memes.