Caring for someone 24/7 is unimaginable. You information may be well meaning but until you live with a person with dementia one could never understand the patience, frustration and deprivation of sleep can do to the caregiver. I was a nurse for 44years and cared for many patients with dementia. It is a whole different world caring for someone ever day and night.
I understand. I’m a nurse too. I brought my mother into my home for 3 years. She was finally diagnosed with probable Lewy Body, one month before she passed. I’m sorry for your pain.... God Bless you, take care 🙏🏽 It was the hardest thing I ever did, and I was a Hospice nurse for 12 years.....
Boy, is that ever the truth! Hearing about it or even watching someone else go through it is nowhere near equal to experiencing it yourself. Until one has personally experienced it, they can never fully understand how it is.
I can totally relate I take care of both my elderly parents better in the moderate plus dementia range 24/7 365 days a year and I've done it for years by myself with no help. I have literally had to completely pause my life. I'm 60 years old and I'm completely worn out Body Soul and Spirit I just hope I can Outlast them that's where I'm at. Anyway God bless you as we overcome day by day.
My husband is in the beginning stages of vascular dementia, and he is one stubborn man even now. He wanders all night long, watches TV all day, and I cannot imagine how this is going to progress…..But I know I am in for a rough rocky road ahead. God help me to get through this!
My husband was given 25 mg of Seroquel to sleep at night. He has stopped pacing and sleeps through the night. If he is pacing during the day, I give him 6.25 mg. Frequently I notice his pacing stops when I'm in the same room with him so I don't need to give him the daytime Seroquel when he can see me.
Walks in the park or around the block might help and try to be calm and tell your loved you love them I find it to help us I’m in till the end I’m not sending my mother in law to any facility as she would probably pass away
My sister is 67! She’s got Dementia and has clear signs of sundowning! It’s so stressful. It starts around 5 pm and continues increasing. At bed time she gets even worse. It’s a nightmare. She starts acting in a crazy way. I cannot deal with this situation any longer. It’s driving me crazy. Thanks for your piece of advice.
My Nana would often sundown in the evening. Once i asked her where she was going, she said she was going to get the hogs (she thought she was a young girl on a farm in the south). another evening she was going to get my Uncle Herman who had been dead for 40 years. I would always go along with whatever, and help her find the Hogs, Uncle Herman, or whatever she needed. After a few minutes of searching I would say I think we should go to bed and try again in the morning.I never knew there was a term for this, thank you for teaching us.
My mom is 82 and has severe dementia sundown is the worst she doesn't even know who i am she always wants to go home and i take her around the block and sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't she thinks her mom is still alive she also forgot how to speak English im the only one that can talk to her. I need help and don't know what to do
Thank you for your work and the fact that you share. My wife recently passed away Dec 11th from Vascular Dementia. It was a very rough several years, especially when I didn't know what was going on. Your teachings helped a lot. Dementia is a wicked indiscriminate disease. The last few months were very difficult dealing with the healthcare system. I was able to bring her home (AMA) on Hospice for a couple days before she was taken to inpatient Hospice, where she passed peacefully and is no longer suffering. God bless you and my prayers for others who are living this hell.
My Gramp had sundowners. One day he told me he knew what he was saying and doing was wrong but he had no control over it, and things seemed so real to him even though he knew they weren't. That was the only time I ever saw my Gramp cry. He was 94. I know he's in heaven, but I still miss him.
Grandma was happy to live in a hoarded home with thirty five cats filth and disgusting home. Now she is unable to drive to shop for more hoard or cat food. Now at our safe clean home she wants to fight at night and listens to no one. Slapped me hard because we were making her lay down in bed instead of wander around. She is mean and her behavior has let me know this is a horrible job for nursing home workers for sure! Dr. Was right they get violent so having more than one family member to help is vital. This is a physical job the heavy older person is very hard to help up and down. Thankful for my son to help and furniture moving to barracade the sundowner from unsafe areas.
Dr.Natali, I was surprised to hear that sundowning happens more with dementia sufferers in their own home than in a nursing home facility. I work in a long term care home and experience daily the sundowning patterns in the people to whom we provide care. I was thinking that the more familiar environment (ie :their own home) would produce less sundowning. One woman will tell me that she needs to go to visit her mother and will ask me to show her the door to get outside. I went on Google Maps and took screen shots(with my iphone) of the city street views where she told me that she lived when she was a child. The office enlarged and laminated the pictures. When she asks to go home now, I take out the pictures and we talk about the place where she grew up. She tells me stories about her mother and the children who used to play games in the neighbourhood. Usually her emotional tank gets replenished and she no longer asks to leave. I love your videos and have shared them with some co-workers.
Hi Gregory! Thank you for your comment. I am glad you are finding the videos helpful! Let me know if you or your co-workers have any ideas for future videos.
I am a Geriatric Carer-codinator for over 30 years and I've experienced that if they have bladder infection that is when it manifest in their behavior, or if they constipated. One just have to have a to always keep a close eye on those two. I was had a patient, she was acting out, and with close examination, I found her blouses label behind the neck was scratching her, I immediately cut the label of and it made a use difference because she couldn't verbalize what was bothering her. So from there on I've been cutting of all my patients clothing labels ,so I know when they have behavior challenges it's not because of a clothing label that bothers them. I keep learning so much from your channel. Thank you so much Dawn From South Africa 🇿🇦
In my experience, especially with women, sundown ing happens around 4pm to 6pm. They usually just want to go home, no matter that you tell them they are home. This is the time the children would have come home from school and meals are prepared. It’s the busiest time for a woman and the anticipation of family arriving. They have a gap and feel the emptiness that’s not been filled. I take my client to the kitchen and busy them with dinner prep. Peeling veg and discussing menus. Keep them busy. Or take them for a walk.
Thanks that is so interesting - for someone I care for where she was a mother and also ran a small hotel so she was always doing meal prep and I see that worry about the meals in the early evening/late afternoon.
This makes so much sense. I once observed this in a resident. She began saying she wanted to go home & crying. I then remembered I had bought her a baby doll, & retrieved it from my car. Happy, contentedly named her after her sister. Problem solved👍🏼😊
Agree ~ I wish I'd studied these videos sooner. It would have helped me with my client on those days that can be so challenging. As well...I wish there were videos to help the kids of clients with dementia ~ In terms of how much communication can sometimes be too much. Overload, exhausting...suffocating . The job itself is enough but some kids call in the morning, twice in the afternoon and after work. I'm all about communicating but sometimes it's just over the top. And they want to discuss many things outside of their parents health. It causes burnout in the care provider.
Thank you for your fantastic videos! I'm a nursing assistant in a high care facility, I know my residents very well but as some pass away and we have new admissions, it's really helpful to keep a clean slate, fresh perspective and remember that every person is different, complex, beautiful and deserving of the utmost quality in care.
My Dad was having this issue and getting up in the middle of the night. Tried OTC and prescription sleep aids…. Turned him to a zombie…… Started Mag glycinate and the world has changed for the better for us all!!!! Try it!
I am glad I took the time to watch this today. We had a hard time last night (again) with my mother-in-law with Parkinsons Dementia. It's sad, we had a great, calm, easy day and every night when we get our 4 children to bed, and we are EXHAUSTED, she starts up. She accuses us of leaving her alone all day in "isolation"! We spend every extra minute with her and she is Never Alone! It is so hard. If it isn't that she finds all kinds of off the wall things to complain about, accuse us of and complain of being tired and wanting to go to bed. We try to redirect or distract her but it doesn't last long. When we try to take her to bed she says she isn't tired and doesn't want to. Even though she begs us to let her go to bed from like 7 p.m. til it is time for bed. My husband and I are exhausted and running ourselves down.
What did you end up doing? Did it eventually becime too much? I'm just starting to have a parent with dementia. I'm wondering about how my family can help out or give my parents some assistance.
@regie957 it did become overwhelming because our children were watching grandma change into a different person. We could not let that happen. So we found a great nursing facility that could take care of her. She passed last June.
I work in a nursing home. I am an activities person I find that sun downing does not actually start happening when the sun goes down. I find it starting to happen just after they finish lunch. I am not an expert in the feild but, I really appreciate your information and from what I know, you are spot on! i think it is also important to note how necessary it can be to offer huggs and hold hands - sort of the way you would do for a child but obiously you wouldn't phrase things like you would for a baby. You can kind of stroke their hand and say "hey, it's okay it's alright "and you just reassure them that whatever scared them is all done now and that you will be with them. a little reassurance goes a long long way. People get afraid to touch the elderly because they may not loo cute or something abou the ageing process scares all of it. But, with Dementia it is like reverse againg. They do get to a point where it is like taking care of a child. Most people I know would never devoid a 6 year old of a hug after he or she got afraid. It is the same with our elerly. They really need our touch and we may have to get over the fact that yeah, they don't look cute like a child or a baby but they still need that same constant reminder that they arn't alone.
Thank you for your helpful tips! My husband was diagnosed with dementia 3 years ago! I am having a hard time. I find myself crying a lot. I have lost interest in the things I used to enjoy doing! He does have sun downing symptoms and it’s not easy to deal with along with all the extra caring of him. I feel like I have lost myself taking care of him!
I recently found out my mom has dementia. I was the same way. There is support out there. You just have to look hard. I am soo blessed to have found Careblazers!!! You will get thru this. We don't have a choice. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Well, by the time my mom began the sundowning symptoms, she was pretty deaf and blind so a lot of these tips probably wouldn't have helped. It was devastating in that I couldnt sleep either. I was able to keep her at home until the end, but I only had nursing help six hours in the daytime. I kept a baby monitor in my room so I could keep tabs on her. Or I even tried sleeping in her king sized bed with her. However, none of these things really helped manage her situation. My heart goes out to anyone who is dealing with this!
@@tamaraterrymusic2656 I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I had more "Pearl's of Wisdom", but I don't. Recruit all the help you can so you can try to get some sleep. My mental acuity was very challenged the less sleep I had. It's tough, to say the least. Sending love, hugs and positive thoughts your way! ❤⚘
This is why people shouldn't see putting loved ones in care as giving up or shirking responsibilities. If you can afford to and I know from personal experience these places are mostly out to make money it is the best thing for them if only for the fact they can express their behaviours in a safe way amongst others with the same diagnosis. They live in their own reality and keeping them at home serves little purpose to them and if it is just to fulfill a duty or to say to others I kept them at home I applaud you don't misunderstand me but it has to be what is best for them. Relatives get upset when their loved one seems lost to them and try to drag them back to the past but I can reassure you that as soon as relatives leave much like a child on their first day at school they are not distressed as they don't live in this reality and so therefore don't grieve the loss like we do. When visiting don't force them to remember and get upset that they don't they are generally happy to see anybody and when you are not with them their care family is and we try the best we can to give the cuddles and enjoy the laughter they bring to us every day. I will share a story with you to explain the ladies were having their nails painted and as a tip most ladies even with dementia love this but one lady was not allowed and had to sit out because her daughter had said my mother never wore make-up but that was then this is now so in many ways although not all she is a different person allow them the choice don't make it for them they are still adults. In care in most circumstances which depends on mental capacity people are given the right to choose independently and apart from that they still deserve to be respected as a parent. Some people can still tell you how many sugars they like in their tea or choose their favourite biscuit small things but wonderful things be happy with that and don't set your expectations too high.
My mom has classic sundowners. Right around dusk she starts to have trouble walking etc. I attribute some of this to visual problems/hallucinations and perhaps losing confidence about her surroundings. Funny because during the day she is a very sharp ninety-three year old. I bought her a sound machine and this has helped her immensely with her sleeping. You are right, don’t ever argue with your elderly loved ones. Thanks for you insight and help!
EdWilsonPhoto Yes, one that you put by your bed for white noise. Also has sounds of rain, babbling brook etc. this really helps with her tinnitus and to generally cope.
A healthy dose of Vitamin B1 will practically reverse sundowning. Most Alzeimher sufferes are deficient which causes much of the sun downing. Of course do your own research but as for me and MY parents, that and MCT coconut oil, is working wonders. Good luck everyone and dont give up. The information for both remedies I spoke of, is right here in youtube. May YOUR journey be even better than ours. LOVE.
Rachel Brown , thank you for mentioning B1 and coconut oil ! ♥️🙏. I love how you’ve noted that nutrition can help enormously. The majority of ppl dismiss this aspect, as being useless. However one must incorporate as many forms of healing as is reasonable.
What is MCT coconut oil. I only use Olive Oil in my cooking, baking. Anything I read that might help my dad I like to check out. thanks for the tip also about the Vitamin B
@@aliciahunt3033 It stands for Medium Change Triglycerides. It's not the typical coconut oil used in cooking. You can buy a 32oz bottle online or any health food store for about $25. It's a God send. It slows the progression of Alz/dementia. My Mom regained her memory just 3 hours after her first tablespoon. I give it to her 3 times a day. Checkout some videos here on youtube by Dr. Mary Newport. She's a sort of a pioneer using this technique. Also, type in "MCT Oil/Dementia and you'll find lots of informative videos, right here on youtube as well. I've started taking it and I feel so much more focused and alert. Good luck in your journey. Remember to take it with food the first few times, and it WON'T cure the disease, but it is a natural way to slow it's progression waaaay down. All the BEST!
I love your channel! ♥️. All of the videos have been soooo helpful! My mom has had Alzheimer’s for almost a year and it’s been so difficult communicating and trying to help her without getting frustrated. I agree with Coral….what a blessing you are! Thank you! 😘
Super-helpful, thank you. You have explained why my mother in law's sundowning improved hugely when she stopped living independently and went into full care. She wants her independence back, but clearly, full care is better for her. We disconnect our landline phone at night so we don't get chatty calls in the small hours. She has a clock which states "morning" or "evening",etc, but still gets confused sometimes. I really appreciate this channel thanks!
Routine, routine, routine. I can't stress that enough. I help my Mom with her 94 year old Mom. We have worked out a routine that works for us. We found out she does not like changes. So far we have been living, almost, stress-free.
Watching your videos have helped me to deal with my mom and her dementia. I’ve learned a great deal and i am more calm and i have more patience with her which actually has helped her to be more calm and more receptive to the message that i am trying to get across to her. Thank you! Keep the videos coming!
Hi Doc...As the primary caregiver for my 75 yr old wife who has vascular dementia your videos have been immensely helpful and encouraging. THANK YOU! You recently did one on 'thought salads', and it was remarkable. As an ordained minister of the Christian faith I immediately saw the direct correlation to Philippians 4: 4 - 9. Brilliant!...God bless
Sometimes leaving the room briefly (if safe to do) can reset the situation. My moms aid suggested it one day and “poof” my mother was a different person who greeted me warmly not 10 minutes after screaming horrible things…
When I brought my aunt home with me I found that a routine and a journal noting her behaviors and her general info. Really helps me. I also write down her stories she tells me of her past! I’ll never hear them from anyone else and it really keeps me engaged and asking questions which she loves. She loves coffee all day so I’ve figured out a trick.. she’ll have her cup or two in the morning but then I’ll give her decaf during the day... she doesn’t even realize and it’s made a difference in her anxiety. I give her vitamins and have a Sunday through Saturday, AM and PM pill box that I use and it keeps me on track for that care giving chore. These videos have helped me so much in caring for my aunt! I rewatch them when I feel I need some extra encouragement.
Lynnette Bass it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with your aunt! Thank you for taking the creativity and time to find ways to improve your aunts quality of life ANd yours. I appreciate you sharing!
Thank you so much for providing this helpful information .. your calm and reassuring manner only add to the value of your videos.. it is most appreciated
My husband has dementia and he is also hearing and sight impaired. It is very hard to try and help him at times because lots of times he doesn’t know who I am and or he thinks I am a man. . He has sundowners and it starts from 4.30pm until bedtime 9pm
A friend of ours gave her Mum some magnesium in the late afternoon It’s a natural anti-anxiety substance and worked really well to help with sundowning
I found that smacking my mother over the head with a waffle iron works great. She is out until the morning. JUST KIDDING FOLKS! EVERYONE NEEDS A LITTLE HUMOR TO HELP EASE THINGS.
Thank you. It is so difficult unless you have lived it. Dr. you have either lived it or are truly have an empathetic heart that can not just be learned. That is a truly special ability to make You a better Doctor
I wish I had known about these videos when I was taking care of my father-in-law. Dr. Natali's explanations, suggestions, and tips are a godsend now that I'm my husband's caregiver.
OMG, I have vasular dementia, this for me is in the morning, now I understand, I was a working mom and I wake up some mornings very agitated, and it's always about what I have to do, with 3 children it was the busiest time of the day, now it makes sense, the has been a big change in the last yr. So I'm hoping this plateau will last for awhile, thank you
Hi Natali, thank you so much for making these very helpful and informative videos. I have worked in nursing homes, but I am now taking care of my own mother who has dementia. I have just watched several of your videos and have been taking notes. I will continue to watch more, learn more, and understand better how to take care of my mother. Again Thank you.
Real simple: they’re afraid of the dark. Already don’t know what day or time it is so sundown is meaningless except as an ending without a beginning. A bad harbinger. Put simply, what happens next? Nothing. Nothingness. So she rejects it, staring wide eyed into space, fixated on television or starting the pacing and the arranging/rearranging of stuff all night. My loved one has no routine and does not want one. She stays up night after night eating everything but insists that she sleeps all night. Then sleeps all day! Then switch !! When she does fall out after everyone else has, it’s time to get up. Refuses walks, does what she wants. So. Good luck with that. Sound cynical? Tough. The alarm keeps her in and I turn in early and wake early so I can have peace and get my rest. The bright light is good. The music is for me. Many many behavioral changes. I have found nothing helpful. Her doctors need to adjust her meds imho and start over because her disease seems to outpace all efforts to intercede, redirect or whatever. In this household, we just go with the flow, choose our battles and do our best. Not wrestling anyone into bed or out of it for that matter.
I don't take any meds for stress, I buy me a bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms lol and a Bottle of flavored Seltzer Water. I don't drink, do drugs or smoke...I do chocolate lol
Exactly! It’s like the circle of life has come full circle. Your person has become or is becoming a small child again and their needs become the same as a small child or infant. Remember how your activities were with a young or infant you might have cared for with noise and low activities toward the afternoon and early evening.
Thank you , I take care of my father who has sundowning tendencies at night , last night it was his bed blanket that kicked this event off at 12 mid ,not sure why. But he also leaves his light on in his room to charge his sleepy brain I think. All I can say is try not to be involved so much and let him process what is happening to him , I stay by and watch him on a camera and as long as he is not hurting himself or becoming destructive I let him process his situation , please get a camera , to help you with your loved one it was 100% the best thing I did , he eventually tires himself out and naturally goes to sleep for 15min at a time until 5:30 am . In the past when I have intervened it only made him more confused and agitated and aggravating for me as his care taker . It’s a learning process , keep all lights in the rest of the house off that you do not want them to go . Kitchen living rm etc . only his room light gets to stay on as that is somehow comforting to him and he won’t wonder into the rest of the house , we also keep the hallway to the bathroom and the bathroom lights on with Motions sensors so he can use that when he needs to. Dementia is hard on a person and their families , please reach out to Alzheimer’s.org and get as much help as you can.
My wife started with sundowners after lunch and dinner this April , used to be only in the late afternoon earlier in the evening, now is twice a day. Dr Natalie thank you for your video and for your time
I was a caregiver for my father who had dementia -like symptoms as a result of a stroke. Eventually his doctor prescribed a very low dose of Haldol during the day and Klonopin for sleep at night. During the day, my father was most agitated about wanting to drive. He kept wanting his car keys and kept looking outside for his car. I had locked the keys in a file cabinet and put his car in the garage in back of the house. But he still wanted to go outside to get his car, so that is why the doctor prescribed the Haldol so he would sit still. My father as a result of the stroke had lost sight in one eye and was too confused to ever drive again and he didn't need to be outside without supervision. He was also insisting on cooking, but he was too confused and scalded himself and set a can with its wrapper onto the flames of a burner and nearly caught the house on fire. so we had to get him on a medication.
Thank You so much for all of your information. I will be using all of your tips to help my 97 year old grandfather. You are blessing to me, Again, THANK YOU!
I’m watching this again n I see my comments here from the last time I watched it. I must say how beneficial it is to rewatch your videos. I get something different every time simply because of my Mom’s decline. Thank you again for all your help. I really appreciate your channel. 💝🌎💝
Personal sleep deprivation was a major issue while caring for my mother. If I got 4 hours of sleep, it was a blessing. Melatonin helped a bit but it was when the doctor prescribed Quetiapine Fumarate 25mg that she would finally sleep 💤💤 for hours straight. The pills are so small, one wonders how they are able to work.
My 92 y/o mom, beginning stage of dementia (not diagnosed), does still live independently at home, will mildly "sundown" when she has not slept well. It could happen @10 in the morning when she is admittedly "tired". I am learning so much from your videos, Dr. Natalie. At this stage, I can sorta go with the flow, gently change the subject if possible.... And even use our code word that my sister came up with, which is on a cute little framed plaque in my mom's kitchen. If my mom is suddenly getting agitated or showing escalating frustration with her tone of voice, I tell my mom if I am driving you crazy, mom, use this word....and I point to the plaque. It works wonderfully at this early stage of the dementia. As this progresses, not so sure it will work. Time will tell.
What’s the code wrd?! Maybe I can come up w a term code wrd w my mom as well! Thank u for sharing as this mite help me any mother!let me know if u can. Thank u soo soo much
As you suggest, 6:47 sunlamps DO work, they keep the orientation around the day time schedule, especially when winter comes with daylight savings, the sunlamps DO work, turn on at twilight, leave on 1-2 hours. Also fresh air and nature IS MUCH better than most things. Walk outdoors, even if its short, even if its mostly just driving around. The exposure to a new stimulus especially nature and fresh air works better than most things. And do music instead of TV...TV makes dementia worse
@@rllmm8290 yes but you can’t judge by what they’re saying. My mother had the same issue with a drink. But weening her off drinking helped immensely. Now I let her watch a little tv but it’s always interrupted with walks and fresh air. In my experience it is the pattern they are fixated on. So they get agitated because their pattern is being interrupted. It takes a while but new patterns will improve her. Tv absolutely destroys them
My dad definitely had sundowning, it could be minor to severe, one day he thought that he was onboard a ship that was sinking (old memory from his time in the Navy). It was espescially bad if he happened to sleep during the day, he'd wake up and be really very confused.
I learn about more and more symptoms everyday, that my husband exhibits. He becomes wound up as soon as the sun goes down and wants to go for hikes. He's been doing this for about 10 years. But it has increased. I have been telling him that I love hiking but I want to go during the daylight hours. And that I will pack a lunch and we can go in the morning just after breakfast. But he's lethargic during the day. He's not been properly diagnosed, and refuses to go to a dr. But he has a lot of symptoms of Alzheimer's. Like rummaging. And combativeness. He is functional, still working, but his ability to manage money is getting worse.
There are times of the day when my partner is more or less engaged and others where we are in the brick wall mode. I've learned to anticipate the engaged times and use them to attempt meaningful conversations. Caregivers can go for days without what passes for adult interactions.
I care for my Dad, 5 years now. He has Vascular dementia. It's been over a week since I've had a conversation with anybody other then a potential job interview.. So, even then, I was "switched on"... Sigh.
So glad I just discovered your channel! After multiple ER visits, my mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia. She frequently has sundowners syndrome and very irregular sleep (if any sleep).
I am caring for an 81 year old who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently. Things were going well until recently they started having sundowner's symptoms. Late at night they have come to me all confused, agitated, and frightened. It is accompanied with hallucinations that someone is spying on them and or coming into their bedroom. They also seem to see things that are not there like an animal by a tree that's not there a closed door looks open to them. To deal with it, I say and do things that reassure them they are safe, or accompany them to their hallucination to show them it isn't real. I also make sure I do not poo poo what they feel and see. I acknowledge what has them agitated and let them know I believe they are seeing or feeling what they find upsetting. I simply let them know something is not going to continue to happen because I have set in place things to prevent it. That means showing I set the house alarm, that the door they think is open is locked, etc. Not easy, but I am hoping patience and time will help lessen if not eliminate their worries.
Thank you for the video. My dad has Dementia. He has started to have these sundowning symptoms. He constantly wants my attention at night times and also into early mornings along with severe confusion. I thought he was craving for people's love and attention. That's the impression he has been giving as he also did it after light on quite a few days. I've also noticed this happens at times of infection with my dad. His is definitely very sudden.
lisa kels , I’m sorry that your dad has dementia ♥️. I don’t know much about dementia etc, I’m a bit slow but it just dawned on me that the sun downing thing must surely be related to the patient regressing to a child like state... esp. in Alzheimer’s. You know, when as children, we were all very insecure about the dark and so forth, and needed our parents to stay with us and cuddle us before bed. Some children also need to sleep in their parents bed, to feel secure. It must very hard for you, and others, whether they’re carers, or family members, to be able to provide those suffering dementia, with the reassurance they seek, and need. It’s a very time consuming process, and probably exhausting. I find it very sad and troubling that folks with dementia don’t often get what they need, to stay psychologically secure. I’m not judging anyone when I say that, of course. These patients have needs that are often difficult to meet, and obviously are very time consuming and intensive. The only solution I can see, is the establishment of an army of highly trained volunteers, to work with patients throughout the day and night. Yes, I’m an idealist, but I can’t help it 😬. I recognise that our parents were our full time carers as children, and spent many long hours in meeting all our needs, until they were exhausted. Surely we could organise ourselves, as adults, to assist them in their final years on earth..... 🤔♥️
My husband wakes up about 1am and starts talking.. I tell him it's the middle of the night but he keeps up. I leave the bedroom and camp out on the couch
My sister was only 57 yrs old with lewybody dementia is very difficult to deal with. She sees people, is sometimes afraid, scared they tell her she going to die. She believes what they tell her. It is very sad to watch and live all this. Noone professional ever tells you what to come next. All's I am told you need help but given no help about it. She can't afford nursing home. The state programs have a income requirement she doesn't qualify .
They really need to do more and not sweep dementia under the rug. That is how I feel. Not much said about early on set dementia only elderly dementia .thank you for being here 11:00 11:00
You are alway’s helpful ! My ex husband is caring for his second wife that has always been difficult. She seems to have moved to another stage. She no longer recognizes her beautiful and super intelligent daughter. I feel so frustrated that I cannot help. I am disabled and limited to help as I would like. This disease is so horrific, so sad.
I recently found your site and I'm now subscribed. You are an Angel.❤️ I am living in my Mom's home taking care of her...she's 102! Thank you for your very helpful videos. God bless you.🤗
Wow, a change in behavior could be caused by an infection? That's important to know in a lot of instances. I would love to hear a talk on how infection results in behavioral changes.
A little piece of knowledge I learned is that urinary tract infections are more common in elderly women (I don't know about men) and they can as was said here cause symptoms that will go away when the infection is treated. I try to encourage baths twice a week, because I know for sure personal hygiene is getting more challenging for my mother. I hope she can keep infections at bay this way.
Urinary Track Infections are VERY common in dementia patients. Please note the medications they are taking and research the side effects. The result of a Urinary Trak Infection can lead to aggression, loss of balance, delusion and various others symptoms. It is so hard for them to tell you there is something wrong as with a child. My mom was placed in a mental facility after displaying severe aggression towards staff and other patients. Fortunately the facility was apart of a good hospital. They ran test and my mom had a LITER of urine in her body as a result of the infection. I was so very angry as I felt the facility where she was living should have noticed she was not urinating and they should have know to check for this considering she had been there for awhile. If I may also add, the facility where she was living was a private facility. They become our kids as we were theirs at some point in our lives. We have to pay close attention to the changes they are experiencing and research as much as possible. UTI's are COMMON and DANGEROUS!!!
Get a case of 'jungle rot' in your crotch! Your behaviour will change suddenly until it is fixed. Don't ask how I know this but imagine what it would be like for someone who can't communicate well!
You are correct in using discernment on tv watching in evening. We were watching Gunsmoke one evening and my husband thought we were in danger. He got very agitated and panicky. He is unable to express his thoughts sometimes so at first I could not understand what he was referring to but when it happened again I quickly realized that it was the tv program. On a side note, youtube has calming videos to watch like birds chirping or calming music. Just be sure you get the ones with no ads because the ads will come on blasting sound wise and startle them.
I was an (ORDERLY) in the 60s.I was15 years old. I wish this was available when I was a kid . I am 72 years old now. I would have been more kind to my patients 🥺
Just found your informative vids... For me when Sundowing is unmanageable I'd take mom for a drive and that worked magic after 10min in the car... her mood is calmer and gives me chance to refocus to another topic.
I installed in the kitchen and living room light fixtures avian light bulbs. I did this because I had birds in the living room and it’s an open floor plan between the kitchen in the living room. The lightbulbs seem to help my mother as well, who had Alzheimer’s. I noticed after installing them for my birds that for a while mom seem to be better and not talking about going home. Are used to pull out a photo album and ask her if she would like to see some pictures of family if she said yes, I would sit down with the photo album and have her tell me who the people were. It was a way of her going home. We would have supper around that time as well. It always started around 4 PM. Sadly my mother passed away October 20, 2020. She did so with her family around her at home, the way she would’ve wanted it.
My Mum had mild dementia and developed Sundowners….. she would get agitated after 6pm. She also would ask if she could go to bed as she was tired. So we would get her cosy and tucked into bed. Then 10 minutes later she would ask again if she could go to bed as she was tired. This would cycle over and over until close to midnight , when she was exhausted. A leaflet from DemenetiaUK suggested using Lemon Balm (Melissa Officinalis) to help with Sundowning. I purchased some high quality Lemon Balm essential oil and diluted with almond oil. At 6pm I massaged her feet and hands. I also added Several drops of the Lemon balm EO to a sonic aromatherapy diffuser that was left on her night stand. Mum fell asleep straight away and didn’t wake up until 3am, when she needed to use the bathroom. I repeated this routine each evening and Mum never experienced Sundowning again.
My mother's Sundowns everyday at 2:00 just like clockwork everyday is exactly the same over and over and she has every symptom you talk about it's so exhausting I have learned so much from these videos.. even though I know the right thing to do it's hard because I'm so tired by the end of the day she just wears me out.. I call it the bewitching hour .. I can deal with the mornings she's pretty good but when 2:00 strikes she's unbearable. She goes into a panic if I'm out of her sight.. And she wants to go to bed early. Right after dinner. she knows something's wrong and feels safe going to bed and I can't stop her but it gives me a break too.. she sleeps for 2 or 3 hours and she's up every hour for the bathroom after that.
I'm sorry to hear that Joanna. I'm hosing a live Careblazer Class on caregiver stress in a week and I'll be taking people's questions. It's free and you are welcome to attend if you think it would help. Here is the registration page: www.careblazers.com/p/registration-page
Interesting…my Mum is funny and happy chatty and then soothes me back to sleep…2am seems to be our best time together because she has slept since 9 and what u shared made sense of it. I enjoy those moments and try to catch up on sleep when she rests…..I wish I could bottle them. She excuses waking me etc by saying the dog wants me 😂 ❤
When our family member, with dementia, started showing signs of sundowners and agitation at about 5 pm each night/after dinner. We started turning the tv on, to one of her favorite programs. The distraction helped her calm down and she will sit there quietly, contentedly crocheting until she’s ready to sleep. During the day we stay busy, just like she used to do when she was younger, so it’s familiar. The caregiving part is still a lot of work, but it was good to come up with a win/win solution. (We may have to change it all up in the future, as her dementia progresses, but for now this is a good “work-around”.)
I’ve noticed people with dementia either get agitated or withdrawn. I understand that the key to calm is to give them a Reasonable purpose. Whatever they did as a career or a love for a certain kind of recreation finding say an inanimate object to hold or carry. Providing opportunities to create in some way. Watercolor finger paint or clay modeling just to bake a few. In another case a woman who was a caregiver was given a doll to carry. It helped her to self soothe and made her behavior much easier to manage.
Thank you Dr. Natali..... your videos and FB page is my lifeline to sanity. The info on FB is both frightening and soothing. The more knowledge the better.
One tip I would add is that if possible caregiver should sleep when the loved one sleeps. I realize that's not always possible, but sleeping during the day with your loved one will help when you have to stay up all night watching them.
I worked at the VA here in my state and we had a gentleman who stayed up literally for almost a week because he was in the throws of sundowners episode due to stage 4 dementia. He finally crashed and his daughter told us and the crew to let him sleep. We changed his brief while he slept and cleaned him and he never woke up once. He was so exhausted bis body was just ready to shut down. He also had a feeding tube which was very helpful in make sure he stayed hydrated and fed without getting him up. Sadly he passed away during one of these episodes. He just never woke up.
Even though this is an older video it covers an area that is definitely an issue with my father. Sitting there and holding his hand isn't a good idea as he was a 24 year Navy man and the idea of his son holding his hand doesn't go over well with him. Everything else your talking about seems to go over well for him and hopefully he'll start to calm down a bit more. I live in San Diego and my father lives in San Antonio with his brother as his caretaker but he is 81 and father is 83 so trying to get him to follow your information is definitely a challenge because trying to educate someone about thinking outside their world and working to use your information has been a bit troublesome but he is trying. Every time I go out to help give him a break it's a bit hard to start off since it's usually 6 to 8 months between visits and father knows who I am he just wants to sit in front of the TV and watch FOX News all day long and his brother let's him do it because he doesn't like the very negative response he gets Everything he suggests to look at or do something different. Anyway I'm glad I found your information on RUclips and will work to employ a lot of your ideas and information I just hope my uncle does it. Again thank you for all your info!
Unfortunately, nothing worked for my LO until the right mix of medications was achieved. Three calls to 911 with trips to the ER and 4 different medications later, he (and I) was finally free of sundowning and able to sleep again. During the period of sundowning, he would not let me do anything--read, write, watch tv, listen to music, nothing--except sit or stand with him. He didn't want to be touched/hugged. Once it lasted 36 hours. I had no idea what was happening, hence the struggle that turned into a mild altercation that prompted the 911 calls...sigh. He remembered everything, but said he couldn't control those urges, though he couldn't describe what the urges were. This disease is so scary!
I find this presentation very helpful and to the point. I'm new at the caregiver business and need all the help I can get. I will seek out your talks in the future. Thank you
My mother like to color. Who knew! Thank you for being you. What a turn around for my mom. And, I write on a board about how her place is beautiful, the coloring is awesome which it is, and how she is in a safe place. She seems to like that!
I need to ask a question regarding my husband who is bedridden and has Alzheimer’s. How do I do it. Where do I find the area to ask questions. Thanks for your help.
I find that my husband has more looping in the winter when there is less sunshine. He seems to always return to a happy place. He loved his job as a head caretaker in the school system, so his loop involves meeting with the supervisor, checking on supplies, staff etc. The loops that only last a few hours are much easier than those that last days. This is a learning experience for sure. And each day is different. My husband is no longer at home, but in long term care.
Hi , is your husband still with you? My husband was diagnosed 3 years ago and is still doing ok. He is in mild to moderate stage. He cannot drive, has trouble dressing and eating, but can still carry on a conversation pretty good.
@@lifecontent6525 No I am afraid that right after my comment he was diagnosed with kidney failure and passed away 6 months ago. A blessing in disguise I guess. Peace be with you in your journey.
My sister and I take care of our 89 years old mother. She has Dementia/ Alzhimers disease thanks to Covid 19. It sped up the process. She is blind in one eye and very hard of hearing. She will not quit talking and she does it mostly through the night. I sleep in the same room with her but I loose sleep every night. When she speaks, it is somewhat slurred. My parents and I moved down here to Florida from our home in Tennessee so my sister can help. Hospice here is nowhere near as good as they were in Tennessee. My dad and her have been married 64 years. We got them a place on the list for an assistant living closer to my home in Tennessee. Our parents are needing more care than we can give.
The tip about the tv, spot on, we were watching a show and out of no where dad slugs mom in the back saying well you hit me first, he's never been violent, we narrowed it down to loud abrupt sounds, even small bumps in the road make him react like he's been hit.
Nr Natali, I just want to thank you for such amazing accurate videos and instructions on caring for your dementia elder. I just wish I had seen them earlier, as mum is at the last stages of dementia, but they are still very relavant. Thank you, Eleni
I appreciate all the information but what I find in many of these videos is the term loved one. I am a caregiver and although I care very much for my clients I think a different term may be used in these videos to accommodate everybody
My childhood best friend moved into my mother/daughter apartment and things were great. But, she started having memory problems, shuffling feet and other issues. Doctors thought she might have Parkinson's due to her shaking. I thought she might have NPH and got her tested and a shunt was put in. This helped a lot. Fast forward, her memory is worse and worse. She cannot learn how to work new things, and sometimes even old technology confuses her. She falls a lot. Anytime she is hospitalized for a few days, she improves her UTI. That usually begins confusion and more falling. So when the infection is cleared up, she then gets hospital delirium. And then being transferred to rehab she gets more confused. Once home, she improves and goes back to a baseline. Maybe a little less than before. However, this last time when she came home from the hospital and rehab, she began sundowning at home. I was startled because she usually gets less confused after a few days of being home. I work third shift and she appeared to be doing fairly well in the morning, as you said. But, when I checked on her before going to work, she was all packed up, clothes, medicine, etc. She asked when are we going home. I was gobbsmacked. I should have said tomorrow and lets go to bed now....but I was direct and said this is your home. It was confusing to her. But, I reminded her of our trip down to my house and moving in. She trusts me a lot so even though she was skeptical of living here, she thought, well, yes....my pictures are all hanging on the walls, so you must be right. It happened over the next few nights. Thank goodness, by the second week she was oriented to home. She knew her mother had died and her dog. I was beginning to think I needed to place her in a nursing home for fear she'd go outside when I was at work looking for her dog or some other thing. I've talked to her doctor and took her off any medicine that has a side effect of loss of balance or memory and she's doing well. So, I wonder if sundowning is something that can come and go as this seemed to do.
I think of the sundowner phenomena like a gas tank When you are young, you have a huge gas tank and seldom need to re-fill it with sleep As you age, your gas tank gets smaller and smaller so you have less reserve capacity The person with dementia has several problems First they operate with A very small tank, and that already small tank is more rapidly drained trying to cope with any stress And maybe poor sleep means the tank is not even filled at night these factors combine to put the person at constant risk of depleted reserves And therefore being unable to cope
I love this analogy, Ardy. You sound like a wonderful, caring, super informed caregiver! I think so many others could get value by the way you take a difficult topic and describe it in such a relatable way. Thank you for sharing and if you ever want to be featured on one of my videos, let me know. I think you have a lot to offer.
Natali. I've been following this channel for some time but just now subscribed. (And that despite your incorrect pronunciation of the word 'button'. ) Your videos have been a help to me in this journey so far. Just do not think there is enough solid information regarding dementia. Oddly, aside from these videos, my biggest help has come from other caregivers and family members affected by loved ones with dementia. Thank you for what you do. Come home soon and safely. Via con Dios.
Endorsing much of what I have experienced. Added to which - in Care Home - I have found that a person-centred approach is vital. Distraction works - post direct dealing with the sundowning. Each person presents in a different way and sometimes it is very hard to ascertain their 'story', which is very important. At the end of the day, depending on which stage the loved on has reached in their 'dementia' (Alzheimer's say ..) once you understand that the brain is exceedingly complex and ever moreso after damage, you realise that it is a constant learning process and far from easy. I cared for my mother prior to 'emergency respite' and admission to a very good home. I can say quite categorically, that it was the hardest experience of my life and almost broke me. Since that time and now that my mother has gone, (died at nearly 100) that experience is being applied in a Care Home with results. But you have to commit, else leave it alone. There are no half measures, as people's lives are at stake and their quality of life is, for the most part, in your hands. And a full-blown smile on what was earlier an angst-ridden face, is worth more than all the bounty in this world!
When my mom (87) starts getting agitated after she is in bed for the night (930-10pm) I play a youtube of the rosary and we pray together. She will doze off soundly after 3/4 decades.
I live with my grandmother and usually work all throughout the day. I come home and I'm usually up relatively late. She recently went on a Keto diet (not entirely sure it has any affect, but I've been told by some that lack of carbs may be an onset.) Anyway, she comes out dressed fully for church every morning and she seems aware that she can't go to church and she says she can't sleep. I don't know if it's her advanced age (81) but her rationale is very hard to follow sometimes. I try to get her to sit with me and relax, but the worst thing about it is her agitation. She's accused me of hiding and stealing things from even when I'm at work for 8+ hours a day. She's not so confused about her being awake, she's very aware... but she's just agitated. I somewhat feel like she's just bothered because I'm checking on her because the behavior is obviously ABNORMAL, but I'm just worried. There is a family history of Alzheimer's.
I read comments it males me sad i don't want to had "VD" but i do sundowning is terrible and i have lost a little more volume but Doctor is making me a appt to see brain Doc. I tell u it lonely i understand can explain some. When u r on da inside of sundowning its hell glad there is help for ur love ones. I finally after all the years i told my church family. But my natural family in my mind i say they don't understand but in my heart its very sad do they care. Saying this is so very sad. Im tried. I pray aways for ppl like me and thank God these words can correct themself. I try and tell my hubby we getting older. and my Dementia gets worster. No one wants to listen or try to understand my plight. Thanks you guys. Dementia ppl can be in a crowded room but still alone and so very very sad we can't help our selvers at a certain point. I have been hitting mostly missing. I can't enjoy life like i use to. I get scare about different things alot. Thank u 4 reading this
I’m 82 years old. I seem to be experiencing sundowners symptoms periodically. I’ve suspected for a long time that I had early dementia. My health is otherwise pretty good.
My mom didn't get a good night's sleep for 7 years. I was in school but would make the trip to the other coast as often as I could so that she could at least run errands alone or take a nap. One thing that was interesting though was we would give my grandmother an ice cream cup around 3 in the afternoon and it would perk her up and give her some clarity. I think maybe the glucose going to her brain? Anyway, it seemed to help a bit temporarily and gave her some relief from the confusion even if for a few minutes.
Hi Darcie, I am glad to hear you and your mother were able to find something that helped your grandmother. Sometimes it takes that inside knowledge of your loved one to figure out what might work for them!
Caring for someone 24/7 is unimaginable. You information may be well meaning but until you live with a person with dementia one could never understand the patience, frustration and deprivation of sleep can do to the caregiver.
I was a nurse for 44years and cared for many patients with dementia. It is a whole different world caring for someone ever day and night.
I understand. I’m a nurse too. I brought my mother into my home for 3 years. She was finally diagnosed with probable Lewy Body, one month before she passed. I’m sorry for your pain.... God Bless you, take care 🙏🏽
It was the hardest thing I ever did, and I was a Hospice nurse for 12 years.....
Boy, is that ever the truth! Hearing about it or even watching someone else go through it is nowhere near equal to experiencing it yourself. Until one has personally experienced it, they can never fully understand how it is.
Yes❣ It helps to know, though. Please take care of yourself. Sending love from South Africa ❤️
Bless you for the care you give....but I've found this womans tips to be life changing for our family doctors were of ZERO help.
I can totally relate I take care of both my elderly parents better in the moderate plus dementia range 24/7 365 days a year and I've done it for years by myself with no help. I have literally had to completely pause my life. I'm 60 years old and I'm completely worn out Body Soul and Spirit I just hope I can Outlast them that's where I'm at. Anyway God bless you as we overcome day by day.
My husband is in the beginning stages of vascular dementia, and he is one stubborn man even now. He wanders all night long, watches TV all day, and I cannot imagine how this is going to progress…..But I know I am in for a rough rocky road ahead. God help me to get through this!
Stay strong. I'm experiencing the same with my 79 year old mother. It's tough! Prayer , meditation and THC is a big help for me
@@oliverlacey3765 my Husband was dx at 65. Now at 67 he’s starting to sun down. You’re right abt the Thc! Helps me so much!
OMG...my Uncle has the same...he is a angry child demanding growling pain in the butt...I can't wait to move him into Care..
My husband was given 25 mg of Seroquel to sleep at night. He has stopped pacing and sleeps through the night. If he is pacing during the day, I give him 6.25 mg. Frequently I notice his pacing stops when I'm in the same room with him so I don't need to give him the daytime Seroquel when he can see me.
Walks in the park or around the block might help and try to be calm and tell your loved you love them I find it to help us I’m in till the end I’m not sending my mother in law to any facility as she would probably pass away
My sister is 67! She’s got Dementia and has clear signs of sundowning! It’s so stressful. It starts around 5 pm and continues increasing. At bed time she gets even worse. It’s a nightmare. She starts acting in a crazy way. I cannot deal with this situation any longer. It’s driving me crazy. Thanks for your piece of advice.
My Nana would often sundown in the evening. Once i asked her where she was going, she said she was going to get the hogs (she thought she was a young girl on a farm in the south). another evening she was going to get my Uncle Herman who had been dead for 40 years. I would always go along with whatever, and help her find the Hogs, Uncle Herman, or whatever she needed. After a few minutes of searching I would say I think we should go to bed and try again in the morning.I never knew there was a term for this, thank you for teaching us.
You handled it perfectly. 💝✨👍🏼
If is by XL
@@michaelmohammed1358 mom
🥺🤎
My mom is 82 and has severe dementia sundown is the worst she doesn't even know who i am she always wants to go home and i take her around the block and sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't she thinks her mom is still alive she also forgot how to speak English im the only one that can talk to her. I need help and don't know what to do
Thank you for your work and the fact that you share. My wife recently passed away Dec 11th from Vascular Dementia. It was a very rough several years, especially when I didn't know what was going on. Your teachings helped a lot. Dementia is a wicked indiscriminate disease. The last few months were very difficult dealing with the healthcare system.
I was able to bring her home (AMA) on Hospice for a couple days before she was taken to inpatient Hospice, where she passed peacefully and is no longer suffering.
God bless you and my prayers for others who are living this hell.
My Gramp had sundowners. One day he told me he knew what he was saying and doing was wrong but he had no control over it, and things seemed so real to him even though he knew they weren't. That was the only time I ever saw my Gramp cry. He was 94. I know he's in heaven, but I still miss him.
Christine, you will see him again!
God bless his soul and God bless you.
Thank for that insight. I often wondered and suspected my mother in law might know what she's doing/saying, sometimes.
Grandma was happy to live in a hoarded home with thirty five cats filth and disgusting home. Now she is unable to drive to shop for more hoard or cat food. Now at our safe clean home she wants to fight at night and listens to no one. Slapped me hard because we were making her lay down in bed instead of wander around. She is mean and her behavior has let me know this is a horrible job for nursing home workers for sure! Dr. Was right they get violent so having more than one family member to help is vital. This is a physical job the heavy older person is very hard to help up and down. Thankful for my son to help and furniture moving to barracade the sundowner from unsafe areas.
@Nano Light Ask her doctor for medication that will calm her down. It's available!
Dr.Natali, I was surprised to hear that sundowning happens more with dementia sufferers in their own home than in a nursing home facility. I work in a long term care home and experience daily the sundowning patterns in the people to whom we provide care. I was thinking that the more familiar environment (ie :their own home) would produce less sundowning.
One woman will tell me that she needs to go to visit her mother and will ask me to show her the door to get outside. I went on Google Maps and took screen shots(with my iphone) of the city street views where she told me that she lived when she was a child. The office enlarged and laminated the pictures. When she asks to go home now, I take out the pictures and we talk about the place where she grew up. She tells me stories about her mother and the children who used to play games in the neighbourhood. Usually her emotional tank gets replenished and she no longer asks to leave.
I love your videos and have shared them with some co-workers.
Hi Gregory! Thank you for your comment. I am glad you are finding the videos helpful! Let me know if you or your co-workers have any ideas for future videos.
Gregory Barr - You are an angel. Bless you.
Dr Natalie - You are the Best! 💪🏽
surprising and inaccurate.
Treble Clef context
I am a Geriatric Carer-codinator for over 30 years and I've experienced that if they have bladder infection that is when it manifest in their behavior, or if they constipated. One just have to have a to always keep a close eye on those two.
I was had a patient, she was acting out, and with close examination, I found her blouses label behind the neck was scratching her, I immediately cut the label of and it made a use difference because she couldn't verbalize what was bothering her. So from there on I've been cutting of all my patients clothing labels ,so I know when they have behavior challenges it's not because of a clothing label that bothers them.
I keep learning so much from your channel.
Thank you so much
Dawn From South Africa 🇿🇦
Wow, thanks for sharing 🌹
In my experience, especially with women, sundown ing happens around 4pm to 6pm. They usually just want to go home, no matter that you tell them they are home. This is the time the children would have come home from school and meals are prepared. It’s the busiest time for a woman and the anticipation of family arriving. They have a gap and feel the emptiness that’s not been filled. I take my client to the kitchen and busy them with dinner prep. Peeling veg and discussing menus. Keep them busy. Or take them for a walk.
Thanks that is so interesting - for someone I care for where she was a mother and also ran a small hotel so she was always doing meal prep and I see that worry about the meals in the early evening/late afternoon.
Thank goodness I'll never have kids
So true...My grandmother just passed away 😭 but she started getting agitated around 4 too..
Such great advice here from people who’ve experienced this. Thank you for sharing. 🌻👍🏼💝
This makes so much sense. I once observed this in a resident. She began saying she wanted to go home & crying. I then remembered I had bought her a baby doll, & retrieved it from my car. Happy, contentedly named her after her sister. Problem solved👍🏼😊
You are a blessing to those of us caring for loved ones with dementia.
Thank you for your kind words, Coral!
Yes,you're the best,thank you so much,priceless
Thanks so much for being there. I lost you for a while. Glad to see you.
Agree ~ I wish I'd studied these videos sooner. It would have helped me with my client on those days that can be so challenging. As well...I wish there were videos to help the kids of clients with dementia ~ In terms of how much communication can sometimes be too much. Overload, exhausting...suffocating . The job itself is enough but some kids call in the morning, twice in the afternoon and after work. I'm all about communicating but sometimes it's just over the top. And they want to discuss many things outside of their parents health. It causes burnout in the care provider.
I work on a dementia floor in a care home, these videos are so important
Thank you for your fantastic videos! I'm a nursing assistant in a high care facility, I know my residents very well but as some pass away and we have new admissions, it's really helpful to keep a clean slate, fresh perspective and remember that every person is different, complex, beautiful and deserving of the utmost quality in care.
just want to say, thank you for having this outlook for the care you provide. it's heartbreaking that not all who work with the elderly do.
My Dad was having this issue and getting up in the middle of the night.
Tried OTC and prescription sleep aids…. Turned him to a zombie……
Started Mag glycinate and the world has changed for the better for us all!!!! Try it!
That sounds great
This is so true My husband is 87 Im 80 , when I go to see him at the Retirement Home I feel like i just want to hug him thank you
I am glad I took the time to watch this today. We had a hard time last night (again) with my mother-in-law with Parkinsons Dementia. It's sad, we had a great, calm, easy day and every night when we get our 4 children to bed, and we are EXHAUSTED, she starts up. She accuses us of leaving her alone all day in "isolation"! We spend every extra minute with her and she is Never Alone! It is so hard. If it isn't that she finds all kinds of off the wall things to complain about, accuse us of and complain of being tired and wanting to go to bed. We try to redirect or distract her but it doesn't last long. When we try to take her to bed she says she isn't tired and doesn't want to. Even though she begs us to let her go to bed from like 7 p.m. til it is time for bed. My husband and I are exhausted and running ourselves down.
Jfc put her in care and save yr family and marriage
What did you end up doing? Did it eventually becime too much? I'm just starting to have a parent with dementia. I'm wondering about how my family can help out or give my parents some assistance.
@regie957 it did become overwhelming because our children were watching grandma change into a different person. We could not let that happen. So we found a great nursing facility that could take care of her. She passed last June.
I work in a nursing home. I am an activities person I find that sun downing does not actually start happening when the sun goes down. I find it starting to happen just after they finish lunch. I am not an expert in the feild but, I really appreciate your information and from what I know, you are spot on! i think it is also important to note how necessary it can be to offer huggs and hold hands - sort of the way you would do for a child but obiously you wouldn't phrase things like you would for a baby. You can kind of stroke their hand and say "hey, it's okay it's alright "and you just reassure them that whatever scared them is all done now and that you will be with them. a little reassurance goes a long long way. People get afraid to touch the elderly because they may not loo cute or something abou the ageing process scares all of it. But, with Dementia it is like reverse againg. They do get to a point where it is like taking care of a child. Most people I know would never devoid a 6 year old of a hug after he or she got afraid. It is the same with our elerly. They really need our touch and we may have to get over the fact that yeah, they don't look cute like a child or a baby but they still need that same constant reminder that they arn't alone.
Live Laugh Lesbian , thank you ! ♥️🙏. I really got a lot from your insights. You’re a kind person. 👍
@@ucanleaveyourhaton thank you for caring so much. I do try
That was beautifully said.
L
@@sandraolson1022 l00l0l000p
Thank you for your helpful tips! My husband was diagnosed with dementia 3 years ago! I am having a hard time. I find myself crying a lot. I have lost interest in the things I used to enjoy doing! He does have sun downing symptoms and it’s not easy to deal with along with all the extra caring of him. I feel like I have lost myself taking care of him!
Yes..u will have times of losing yourself..please don't let it scare you..eventually you will have plentiful of self care time
It feels like your life is disappearing along with theirs because caring for them can become all consuming.
It might help to get someone to stay with him while you get out of the house!
I recently found out my mom has dementia. I was the same way. There is support out there. You just have to look hard. I am soo blessed to have found Careblazers!!! You will get thru this. We don't have a choice. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Same , crying a lot
Well, by the time my mom began the sundowning symptoms, she was pretty deaf and blind so a lot of these tips probably wouldn't have helped. It was devastating in that I couldnt sleep either. I was able to keep her at home until the end, but I only had nursing help six hours in the daytime. I kept a baby monitor in my room so I could keep tabs on her. Or I even tried sleeping in her king sized bed with her. However, none of these things really helped manage her situation. My heart goes out to anyone who is dealing with this!
I am.
@@tamaraterrymusic2656 I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I had more "Pearl's of Wisdom", but I don't. Recruit all the help you can so you can try to get some sleep. My mental acuity was very challenged the less sleep I had. It's tough, to say the least. Sending love, hugs and positive thoughts your way! ❤⚘
@@rebeccabeardslee2908 you are an angel
😇😢
This is why people shouldn't see putting loved ones in care as giving up or shirking responsibilities. If you can afford to and
I know from personal experience these places are mostly out to make money it is the best thing for them if only for the fact
they can express their behaviours in a safe way amongst others with the same diagnosis. They live in their own reality and
keeping them at home serves little purpose to them and if it is just to fulfill a duty or to say to others I kept them at home
I applaud you don't misunderstand me but it has to be what is best for them. Relatives get upset when their loved one seems
lost to them and try to drag them back to the past but I can reassure you that as soon as relatives leave much like a child on
their first day at school they are not distressed as they don't live in this reality and so therefore don't grieve the loss like we do.
When visiting don't force them to remember and get upset that they don't they are generally happy to see anybody and when
you are not with them their care family is and we try the best we can to give the cuddles and enjoy the laughter they bring to
us every day. I will share a story with you to explain the ladies were having their nails painted and as a tip most ladies even
with dementia love this but one lady was not allowed and had to sit out because her daughter had said my mother never wore
make-up but that was then this is now so in many ways although not all she is a different person allow them the choice don't
make it for them they are still adults. In care in most circumstances which depends on mental capacity people are given the
right to choose independently and apart from that they still deserve to be respected as a parent. Some people can still tell you
how many sugars they like in their tea or choose their favourite biscuit small things but wonderful things be happy with that
and don't set your expectations too high.
My mom has classic sundowners. Right around dusk she starts to have trouble walking etc. I attribute some of this to visual problems/hallucinations and perhaps losing confidence about her surroundings. Funny because during the day she is a very sharp ninety-three year old. I bought her a sound machine and this has helped her immensely with her sleeping. You are right, don’t ever argue with your elderly loved ones. Thanks for you insight and help!
Sound Machine ??
EdWilsonPhoto Yes, one that you put by your bed for white noise. Also has sounds of rain, babbling brook etc. this really helps with her tinnitus and to generally cope.
A healthy dose of Vitamin B1 will practically reverse sundowning. Most Alzeimher sufferes are deficient which causes much of the sun downing. Of course do your own research but as for me and MY parents, that and MCT coconut oil, is working wonders.
Good luck everyone and dont give up. The information for both remedies I spoke of, is right here in youtube. May YOUR journey be even better than ours.
LOVE.
Rachel Brown , thank you for mentioning B1 and coconut oil ! ♥️🙏. I love how you’ve noted that nutrition can help enormously. The majority of ppl dismiss this aspect, as being useless. However one must incorporate as many forms of healing as is reasonable.
What is MCT coconut oil. I only use Olive Oil in my cooking, baking. Anything I read that might help my dad I like to check out. thanks for the tip also about the Vitamin B
@@aliciahunt3033 It stands for Medium Change Triglycerides. It's not the typical coconut oil used in cooking. You can buy a 32oz bottle online or any health food store for about $25. It's a God send. It slows the progression of Alz/dementia. My Mom regained her memory just 3 hours after her first tablespoon. I give it to her 3 times a day. Checkout some videos here on youtube by Dr. Mary Newport. She's a sort of a pioneer using this technique. Also, type in "MCT Oil/Dementia and you'll find lots of informative videos, right here on youtube as well. I've started taking it and I feel so much more focused and alert. Good luck in your journey. Remember to take it with food the first few times, and it WON'T cure the disease, but it is a natural way to slow it's progression waaaay down. All the BEST!
@@aquaqt853 thank you for your help!
@@aquaqt853 Thank you so much for this information. I will certainly look for this to help my dad. God bless.
I love your channel! ♥️. All of the videos have been soooo helpful! My mom has had Alzheimer’s for almost a year and it’s been so difficult communicating and trying to help her without getting frustrated. I agree with Coral….what a blessing you are! Thank you! 😘
Super-helpful, thank you. You have explained why my mother in law's sundowning improved hugely when she stopped living independently and went into full care. She wants her independence back, but clearly, full care is better for her. We disconnect our landline phone at night so we don't get chatty calls in the small hours. She has a clock which states "morning" or "evening",etc, but still gets confused sometimes. I really appreciate this channel thanks!
Routine, routine, routine. I can't stress that enough. I help my Mom with her 94 year old Mom. We have worked out a routine that works for us. We found out she does not like changes. So far we have been living, almost, stress-free.
Yes, changes will set my 92 y/o mom off.
Watching your videos have helped me to deal with my mom and her dementia. I’ve learned a great deal and i am more calm and i have more patience with her which actually has helped her to be more calm and more receptive to the message that i am trying to get across to her. Thank you! Keep the videos coming!
I have no plans to stop the videos :) New video every Sunday. I'm glad they are helping you.
Hi Doc...As the primary caregiver for my 75 yr old wife who has vascular dementia your videos have been immensely helpful and encouraging. THANK YOU! You recently did one on 'thought salads', and it was remarkable. As an ordained minister of the Christian faith I immediately saw the direct correlation to Philippians 4: 4 - 9. Brilliant!...God bless
Sometimes leaving the room briefly (if safe to do) can reset the situation. My moms aid suggested it one day and “poof” my mother was a different person who greeted me warmly not 10 minutes after screaming horrible things…
Great idea!
When I brought my aunt home with me I found that a routine and a journal noting her behaviors and her general info. Really helps me. I also write down her stories she tells me of her past! I’ll never hear them from anyone else and it really keeps me engaged and asking questions which she loves. She loves coffee all day so I’ve figured out a trick.. she’ll have her cup or two in the morning but then I’ll give her decaf during the day... she doesn’t even realize and it’s made a difference in her anxiety. I give her vitamins and have a Sunday through Saturday, AM and PM pill box that I use and it keeps me on track for that care giving chore.
These videos have helped me so much in caring for my aunt! I rewatch them when I feel I need some extra encouragement.
Lynnette Bass it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with your aunt! Thank you for taking the creativity and time to find ways to improve your aunts quality of life ANd yours. I appreciate you sharing!
Thank you so much for providing this helpful information .. your calm and reassuring manner only add to the value of your videos.. it is most appreciated
You are welcome, Lori!
My husband has dementia and he is also hearing and sight impaired. It is very hard to try and help him at times because lots of times he doesn’t know who I am and or he thinks I am a man. . He has sundowners and it starts from 4.30pm until bedtime 9pm
A friend of ours gave her Mum some magnesium in the late afternoon
It’s a natural anti-anxiety substance and worked really well to help with sundowning
Does it really work?
@@sandrawiggins2621 i found Melatonin before bed can help... too 5mg quick dissolve
That sounds like a good idea. Magnesium is so important.
I found that smacking my mother over the head with a waffle iron works great. She is out until the morning. JUST KIDDING FOLKS! EVERYONE NEEDS A LITTLE HUMOR TO HELP EASE THINGS.
@Easy Rider i thought it was funny
Thank you. It is so difficult unless you have lived it.
Dr. you have either lived it or are truly have an empathetic heart that can not just be learned. That is a truly special ability to make You a better Doctor
I wish I had known about these videos when I was taking care of my father-in-law. Dr. Natali's explanations, suggestions, and tips are a godsend now that I'm my husband's caregiver.
OMG, I have vasular dementia, this for me is in the morning, now I understand, I was a working mom and I wake up some mornings very agitated, and it's always about what I have to do, with 3 children it was the busiest time of the day, now it makes sense, the has been a big change in the last yr. So I'm hoping this plateau will last for awhile, thank you
Are you okay 😢
Hi Natali, thank you so much for making these very helpful and informative videos. I have worked in nursing homes, but I am now taking care of my own mother who has dementia. I have just watched several of your videos and have been taking notes. I will continue to watch more, learn more, and understand better how to take care of my mother. Again Thank you.
You are welcome. I am glad the videos are helping!
I sent this to my brother to help him with his wife. Thank you for your calm explanations.
re: #3. Thank you for reminding people about Self-Care. A burnt out and distressed caregiver is not helpful for a person with dementia.
Real simple: they’re afraid of the dark. Already don’t know what day or time it is so sundown is meaningless except as an ending without a beginning. A bad harbinger. Put simply, what happens next? Nothing. Nothingness. So she rejects it, staring wide eyed into space, fixated on television or starting the pacing and the arranging/rearranging of stuff all night. My loved one has no routine and does not want one. She stays up night after night eating everything but insists that she sleeps all night. Then sleeps all day! Then switch !! When she does fall out after everyone else has, it’s time to get up. Refuses walks, does what she wants. So. Good luck with that. Sound cynical? Tough. The alarm keeps her in and I turn in early and wake early so I can have peace and get my rest. The bright light is good. The music is for me. Many many behavioral changes. I have found nothing helpful. Her doctors need to adjust her meds imho and start over because her disease seems to outpace all efforts to intercede, redirect or whatever. In this household, we just go with the flow, choose our battles and do our best. Not wrestling anyone into bed or out of it for that matter.
I don't take any meds for stress, I buy me a bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms lol and a Bottle of flavored Seltzer Water. I don't drink, do drugs or smoke...I do chocolate lol
Exactly! It’s like the circle of life has come full circle. Your person has become or is becoming a small child again and their needs become the same as a small child or infant. Remember how your activities were with a young or infant you might have cared for with noise and low activities toward the afternoon and early evening.
YEEEEEES!🥵
Always always always be patient and kind.
Thank you , I take care of my father who has sundowning tendencies at night , last night it was his bed blanket that kicked this event off at 12 mid ,not sure why. But he also leaves his light on in his room to charge his sleepy brain I think. All I can say is try not to be involved so much and let him process what is happening to him , I stay by and watch him on a camera and as long as he is not hurting himself or becoming destructive I let him process his situation , please get a camera , to help you with your loved one it was 100% the best thing I did , he eventually tires himself out and naturally goes to sleep for 15min at a time until 5:30 am . In the past when I have intervened it only made him more confused and agitated and aggravating for me as his care taker . It’s a learning process , keep all lights in the rest of the house off that you do not want them to go . Kitchen living rm etc . only his room light gets to stay on as that is somehow comforting to him and he won’t wonder into the rest of the house , we also keep the hallway to the bathroom and the bathroom lights on with Motions sensors so he can use that when he needs to. Dementia is hard on a person and their families , please reach out to Alzheimer’s.org and get as much help as you can.
Sites like this is very helpful. 24/7 care of mom with dimentia. Going on 3 years now. I am an RN since 1976...this is my most difficult case.
SOOOO HELPFUL . I FEEL I'M AT MY WITS END.
Love people like you. My grandpa recently just passed due to this awful Disease. And now I know more abt his Disease
My wife started with sundowners after lunch and dinner this April , used to be only in the late afternoon earlier in the evening, now is twice a day.
Dr Natalie thank you for your video and for your time
How old is she and did you get her diagnosed with something?
I was a caregiver for my father who had dementia -like symptoms as a result of a stroke. Eventually his doctor prescribed a very low dose of Haldol during the day and Klonopin for sleep at night. During the day, my father was most agitated about wanting to drive. He kept wanting his car keys and kept looking outside for his car. I had locked the keys in a file cabinet and put his car in the garage in back of the house. But he still wanted to go outside to get his car, so that is why the doctor prescribed the Haldol so he would sit still. My father as a result of the stroke had lost sight in one eye and was too confused to ever drive again and he didn't need to be outside without supervision. He was also insisting on cooking, but he was too confused and scalded himself and set a can with its wrapper onto the flames of a burner and nearly caught the house on fire. so we had to get him on a medication.
Thank You so much for all of your information. I will be using all of your tips to help my 97 year old grandfather.
You are blessing to me, Again, THANK YOU!
I’m watching this again n I see my comments here from the last time I watched it. I must say how beneficial it is to rewatch your videos. I get something different every time simply because of my Mom’s decline.
Thank you again for all your help. I really appreciate your channel. 💝🌎💝
Personal sleep deprivation was a major issue while caring for my mother. If I got 4 hours of sleep, it was a blessing. Melatonin helped a bit but it was when the doctor prescribed Quetiapine Fumarate 25mg that she would finally sleep 💤💤 for hours straight. The pills are so small, one wonders how they are able to work.
@@charlesvandenburgh7754 , Thank you. ✨👍🏼💯
My 92 y/o mom, beginning stage of dementia (not diagnosed), does still live independently at home, will mildly "sundown" when she has not slept well. It could happen @10 in the morning when she is admittedly "tired". I am learning so much from your videos, Dr. Natalie. At this stage, I can sorta go with the flow, gently change the subject if possible.... And even use our code word that my sister came up with, which is on a cute little framed plaque in my mom's kitchen. If my mom is suddenly getting agitated or showing escalating frustration with her tone of voice, I tell my mom if I am driving you crazy, mom, use this word....and I point to the plaque. It works wonderfully at this early stage of the dementia. As this progresses, not so sure it will work. Time will tell.
What’s the code wrd?! Maybe I can come up w a term code wrd w my mom as well! Thank u for sharing as this mite help me any mother!let me know if u can. Thank u soo soo much
I love how caring and upbeat you are.
As you suggest, 6:47 sunlamps DO work, they keep the orientation around the day time schedule, especially when winter comes with daylight savings, the sunlamps DO work, turn on at twilight, leave on 1-2 hours. Also fresh air and nature IS MUCH better than most things. Walk outdoors, even if its short, even if its mostly just driving around. The exposure to a new stimulus especially nature and fresh air works better than most things. And do music instead of TV...TV makes dementia worse
My issue is she loves TV it agitates her more to not have TV
@@rllmm8290 yes but you can’t judge by what they’re saying. My mother had the same issue with a drink. But weening her off drinking helped immensely. Now I let her watch a little tv but it’s always interrupted with walks and fresh air. In my experience it is the pattern they are fixated on. So they get agitated because their pattern is being interrupted. It takes a while but new patterns will improve her. Tv absolutely destroys them
My dad definitely had sundowning, it could be minor to severe, one day he thought that he was onboard a ship that was sinking (old memory from his time in the Navy). It was espescially bad if he happened to sleep during the day, he'd wake up and be really very confused.
I learn about more and more symptoms everyday, that my husband exhibits. He becomes wound up as soon as the sun goes down and wants to go for hikes. He's been doing this for about 10 years. But it has increased. I have been telling him that I love hiking but I want to go during the daylight hours. And that I will pack a lunch and we can go in the morning just after breakfast. But he's lethargic during the day.
He's not been properly diagnosed, and refuses to go to a dr. But he has a lot of symptoms of Alzheimer's. Like rummaging. And combativeness. He is functional, still working, but his ability to manage money is getting worse.
you're a life saver. I always wondered why mum gets angry or demanding. Thanks.
There are times of the day when my partner is more or less engaged and others where we are in the brick wall mode. I've learned to anticipate the engaged times and use them to attempt meaningful conversations. Caregivers can go for days without what passes for adult interactions.
I care for my Dad, 5 years now. He has Vascular dementia. It's been over a week since I've had a conversation with anybody other then a potential job interview.. So, even then, I was "switched on"... Sigh.
You need to join a support group or go shoot pool with some people, etc.!
So glad I just discovered your channel! After multiple ER visits, my mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia. She frequently has sundowners syndrome and very irregular sleep (if any sleep).
I am caring for an 81 year old who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently. Things were going well until recently they started having sundowner's symptoms. Late at night they have come to me all confused, agitated, and frightened. It is accompanied with hallucinations that someone is spying on them and or coming into their bedroom. They also seem to see things that are not there like an animal by a tree that's not there a closed door looks open to them. To deal with it, I say and do things that reassure them they are safe, or accompany them to their hallucination to show them it isn't real. I also make sure I do not poo poo what they feel and see. I acknowledge what has them agitated and let them know I believe they are seeing or feeling what they find upsetting. I simply let them know something is not going to continue to happen because I have set in place things to prevent it. That means showing I set the house alarm, that the door they think is open is locked, etc. Not easy, but I am hoping patience and time will help lessen if not eliminate their worries.
Excellent work of the heart!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! You've made this much easier to understand on Sundowning!
Thank you for the video. My dad has Dementia. He has started to have these sundowning symptoms. He constantly wants my attention at night times and also into early mornings along with severe confusion. I thought he was craving for people's love and attention. That's the impression he has been giving as he also did it after light on quite a few days. I've also noticed this happens at times of infection with my dad. His is definitely very sudden.
lisa kels , I’m sorry that your dad has dementia ♥️. I don’t know much about dementia etc, I’m a bit slow but it just dawned on me that the sun downing thing must surely be related to the patient regressing to a child like state... esp. in Alzheimer’s. You know, when as children, we were all very insecure about the dark and so forth, and needed our parents to stay with us and cuddle us before bed. Some children also need to sleep in their parents bed, to feel secure. It must very hard for you, and others, whether they’re carers, or family members, to be able to provide those suffering dementia, with the reassurance they seek, and need. It’s a very time consuming process, and probably exhausting. I find it very sad and troubling that folks with dementia don’t often get what they need, to stay psychologically secure. I’m not judging anyone when I say that, of course. These patients have needs that are often difficult to meet, and obviously are very time consuming and intensive. The only solution I can see, is the establishment of an army of highly trained volunteers, to work with patients throughout the day and night. Yes, I’m an idealist, but I can’t help it 😬. I recognise that our parents were our full time carers as children, and spent many long hours in meeting all our needs, until they were exhausted. Surely we could organise ourselves, as adults, to assist them in their final years on earth..... 🤔♥️
My husband wakes up about 1am and starts talking.. I tell him it's the middle of the night but he keeps up. I leave the bedroom and camp out on the couch
My sister was only 57 yrs old with lewybody dementia is very difficult to deal with. She sees people, is sometimes afraid, scared they tell her she going to die. She believes what they tell her. It is very sad to watch and live all this. Noone professional ever tells you what to come next. All's I am told you need help but given no help about it. She can't afford nursing home. The state programs have a income requirement she doesn't qualify .
They really need to do more and not sweep dementia under the rug. That is how I feel. Not much said about early on set dementia only elderly dementia .thank you for being here 11:00 11:00
You are alway’s helpful ! My ex husband is caring for his second wife that has always been difficult. She seems to have moved to another stage. She no longer recognizes her beautiful and super intelligent daughter. I feel so frustrated that I cannot help. I am disabled and limited to help as I would like. This disease is so horrific, so sad.
I recently found your site and I'm now subscribed. You are an Angel.❤️ I am living in my Mom's home taking care of her...she's 102! Thank you for your very helpful videos. God bless you.🤗
Wow! 102 years old! ❤️
God bless you
Wow, a change in behavior could be caused by an infection? That's important to know in a lot of instances. I would love to hear a talk on how infection results in behavioral changes.
A little piece of knowledge I learned is that urinary tract infections are more common in elderly women (I don't know about men) and they can as was said here cause symptoms that will go away when the infection is treated. I try to encourage baths twice a week, because I know for sure personal hygiene is getting more challenging for my mother. I hope she can keep infections at bay this way.
Urinary Track Infections are VERY common in dementia patients. Please note the medications they are taking and research the side effects. The result of a Urinary Trak Infection can lead to aggression, loss of balance, delusion and various others symptoms. It is so hard for them to tell you there is something wrong as with a child. My mom was placed in a mental facility after displaying severe aggression towards staff and other patients. Fortunately the facility was apart of a good hospital. They ran test and my mom had a LITER of urine in her body as a result of the infection. I was so very angry as I felt the facility where she was living should have noticed she was not urinating and they should have know to check for this considering she had been there for awhile. If I may also add, the facility where she was living was a private facility. They become our kids as we were theirs at some point in our lives. We have to pay close attention to the changes they are experiencing and research as much as possible. UTI's are COMMON and DANGEROUS!!!
Yes urinary infection causes increased symptoms my husband was hospitalised due to one recently
Get a case of 'jungle rot' in your crotch! Your behaviour will change suddenly until it is fixed. Don't ask how I know this but imagine what it would be like for someone who can't communicate well!
My husband got a UTI. He couldn't walk or stand up. The Dr at the hospital said it was delirium. After treatment, he was better.
You are correct in using discernment on tv watching in evening. We were watching Gunsmoke one evening and my husband thought we were in danger. He got very agitated and panicky. He is unable to express his thoughts sometimes so at first I could not understand what he was referring to but when it happened again I quickly realized that it was the tv program. On a side note, youtube has calming videos to watch like birds chirping or calming music. Just be sure you get the ones with no ads because the ads will come on blasting sound wise and startle them.
I was an (ORDERLY) in the 60s.I was15 years old. I wish this was available when I was a kid . I am 72 years old now. I would have been more kind to my patients 🥺
Just found your informative vids... For me when Sundowing is unmanageable I'd take mom for a drive and that worked magic after 10min in the car... her mood is calmer and gives me chance to refocus to another topic.
P.S. Thank you for addressing this problem. It lets many care givers hope and the knowledge they are not alone.
I installed in the kitchen and living room light fixtures avian light bulbs. I did this because I had birds in the living room and it’s an open floor plan between the kitchen in the living room. The lightbulbs seem to help my mother as well, who had Alzheimer’s. I noticed after installing them for my birds that for a while mom seem to be better and not talking about going home. Are used to pull out a photo album and ask her if she would like to see some pictures of family if she said yes, I would sit down with the photo album and have her tell me who the people were. It was a way of her going home. We would have supper around that time as well. It always started around 4 PM. Sadly my mother passed away October 20, 2020. She did so with her family around her at home, the way she would’ve wanted it.
My Mum had mild dementia and developed Sundowners….. she would get agitated after 6pm. She also would ask if she could go to bed as she was tired. So we would get her cosy and tucked into bed. Then 10 minutes later she would ask again if she could go to bed as she was tired. This would cycle over and over until close to midnight , when she was exhausted. A leaflet from DemenetiaUK suggested using Lemon Balm (Melissa Officinalis) to help with Sundowning. I purchased some high quality Lemon Balm essential oil and diluted with almond oil. At 6pm I massaged her feet and hands. I also added Several drops of the Lemon balm EO to a sonic aromatherapy diffuser that was left on her night stand. Mum fell asleep straight away and didn’t wake up until 3am, when she needed to use the bathroom. I repeated this routine each evening and Mum never experienced Sundowning again.
My mother's Sundowns everyday at 2:00 just like clockwork everyday is exactly the same over and over and she has every symptom you talk about it's so exhausting I have learned so much from these videos.. even though I know the right thing to do it's hard because I'm so tired by the end of the day she just wears me out.. I call it the bewitching hour .. I can deal with the mornings she's pretty good but when 2:00 strikes she's unbearable. She goes into a panic if I'm out of her sight.. And she wants to go to bed early. Right after dinner. she knows something's wrong and feels safe going to bed and I can't stop her but it gives me a break too.. she sleeps for 2 or 3 hours and she's up every hour for the bathroom after that.
Thank God you're here x I'm really struggling with mums illness..Alzheimer's. I feel emotionally destroyed.
I'm sorry to hear that Joanna. I'm hosing a live Careblazer Class on caregiver stress in a week and I'll be taking people's questions. It's free and you are welcome to attend if you think it would help. Here is the registration page: www.careblazers.com/p/registration-page
I know the feeling well its dreadful im struggling to cope at moment i feel my battery is beyond empty
I’m so happy I found you!
I'm happy you are here, Pat!
She is a great doctor.
Interesting…my Mum is funny and happy chatty and then soothes me back to sleep…2am seems to be our best time together because she has slept since 9 and what u shared made sense of it. I enjoy those moments and try to catch up on sleep when she rests…..I wish I could bottle them. She excuses waking me etc by saying the dog wants me 😂 ❤
When our family member, with dementia, started showing signs of sundowners and agitation at about 5 pm each night/after dinner. We started turning the tv on, to one of her favorite programs. The distraction helped her calm down and she will sit there quietly, contentedly crocheting until she’s ready to sleep. During the day we stay busy, just like she used to do when she was younger, so it’s familiar. The caregiving part is still a lot of work, but it was good to come up with a win/win solution. (We may have to change it all up in the future, as her dementia progresses, but for now this is a good “work-around”.)
Thankyou great advice, you put the H back humanity
Piss Off you are welcome.
@@DementiaCareblazers "Piss Off you are welcome." That made me laugh!!!
Thank you for asking the question Rhonda! This helps a lot!
I’ve noticed people with dementia either get agitated or withdrawn. I understand that the key to calm is to give them a Reasonable purpose. Whatever they did as a career or a love for a certain kind of recreation finding say an inanimate object to hold or carry. Providing opportunities to create in some way. Watercolor finger paint or clay modeling just to bake a few. In another case a woman who was a caregiver was given a doll to carry. It helped her to self soothe and made her behavior much easier to manage.
Thank u for being here for us care givers
Thank you Dr. Natali..... your videos and FB page is my lifeline to sanity. The info on FB is both frightening and soothing. The more knowledge the better.
You are so welcome!
One tip I would add is that if possible caregiver should sleep when the loved one sleeps. I realize that's not always possible, but sleeping during the day with your loved one will help when you have to stay up all night watching them.
Just starting to experience this with my mother in law. Thank you I am sharing this with my husband to help understand what is happening.
You have been such a blessing to me with all you’re sharing. Thank you! May God continue to bless you abundantly as you are blessing others. 🙂✌️
I'm so glad thank you so much!
I worked at the VA here in my state and we had a gentleman who stayed up literally for almost a week because he was in the throws of sundowners episode due to stage 4 dementia. He finally crashed and his daughter told us and the crew to let him sleep. We changed his brief while he slept and cleaned him and he never woke up once. He was so exhausted bis body was just ready to shut down. He also had a feeding tube which was very helpful in make sure he stayed hydrated and fed without getting him up. Sadly he passed away during one of these episodes. He just never woke up.
praise God!
Even though this is an older video it covers an area that is definitely an issue with my father. Sitting there and holding his hand isn't a good idea as he was a 24 year Navy man and the idea of his son holding his hand doesn't go over well with him. Everything else your talking about seems to go over well for him and hopefully he'll start to calm down a bit more. I live in San Diego and my father lives in San Antonio with his brother as his caretaker but he is 81 and father is 83 so trying to get him to follow your information is definitely a challenge because trying to educate someone about thinking outside their world and working to use your information has been a bit troublesome but he is trying. Every time I go out to help give him a break it's a bit hard to start off since it's usually 6 to 8 months between visits and father knows who I am he just wants to sit in front of the TV and watch FOX News all day long and his brother let's him do it because he doesn't like the very negative response he gets Everything he suggests to look at or do something different. Anyway I'm glad I found your information on RUclips and will work to employ a lot of your ideas and information I just hope my uncle does it. Again thank you for all your info!
Unfortunately, nothing worked for my LO until the right mix of medications was achieved. Three calls to 911 with trips to the ER and 4 different medications later, he (and I) was finally free of sundowning and able to sleep again. During the period of sundowning, he would not let me do anything--read, write, watch tv, listen to music, nothing--except sit or stand with him. He didn't want to be touched/hugged. Once it lasted 36 hours. I had no idea what was happening, hence the struggle that turned into a mild altercation that prompted the 911 calls...sigh. He remembered everything, but said he couldn't control those urges, though he couldn't describe what the urges were. This disease is so scary!
I find this presentation very helpful and to the point. I'm new at the caregiver business and need all the help I can get. I will seek out your talks in the future. Thank you
My mother like to color. Who knew! Thank you for being you. What a turn around for my mom. And, I write on a board about how her place is beautiful, the coloring is awesome which it is, and how she is in a safe place. She seems to like that!
I need to ask a question regarding my husband who is bedridden and has Alzheimer’s. How do I do it. Where do I find the area to ask questions. Thanks for your help.
I find that my husband has more looping in the winter when there is less sunshine. He seems to always return to a happy place. He loved his job as a head caretaker in the school system, so his loop involves meeting with the supervisor, checking on supplies, staff etc. The loops that only last a few hours are much easier than those that last days. This is a learning experience for sure. And each day is different. My husband is no longer at home, but in long term care.
Hi , is your husband still with you? My husband was diagnosed 3 years ago and is still doing ok. He is in mild to moderate stage. He cannot drive, has trouble dressing and eating, but can still carry on a conversation pretty good.
@@lifecontent6525 No I am afraid that right after my comment he was diagnosed with kidney failure and passed away 6 months ago. A blessing in disguise I guess. Peace be with you in your journey.
My sister and I take care of our 89 years old mother. She has Dementia/ Alzhimers disease thanks to Covid 19. It sped up the process. She is blind in one eye and very hard of hearing. She will not quit talking and she does it mostly through the night. I sleep in the same room with her but I loose sleep every night. When she speaks, it is somewhat slurred. My parents and I moved down here to Florida from our home in Tennessee so my sister can help. Hospice here is nowhere near as good as they were in Tennessee. My dad and her have been married 64 years. We got them a place on the list for an assistant living closer to my home in Tennessee. Our parents are needing more care than we can give.
Thank you for this care blazers channel! this has helped me through some tough times 🙏😔
So helpful to finally have a name for it!
The tip about the tv, spot on, we were watching a show and out of no where dad slugs mom in the back saying well you hit me first, he's never been violent, we narrowed it down to loud abrupt sounds, even small bumps in the road make him react like he's been hit.
Nr Natali, I just want to thank you for such amazing accurate videos and instructions on caring for your dementia elder. I just wish I had seen them earlier, as mum is at the last stages of dementia, but they are still very relavant. Thank you, Eleni
I appreciate all the information but what I find in many of these videos is the term loved one. I am a caregiver and although I care very much for my clients I think a different term may be used in these videos to accommodate everybody
You are always helpful! Even years later! Love you!
My childhood best friend moved into my mother/daughter apartment and things were great. But, she started having memory problems, shuffling feet and other issues. Doctors thought she might have Parkinson's due to her shaking. I thought she might have NPH and got her tested and a shunt was put in. This helped a lot. Fast forward, her memory is worse and worse. She cannot learn how to work new things, and sometimes even old technology confuses her. She falls a lot. Anytime she is hospitalized for a few days, she improves her UTI. That usually begins confusion and more falling. So when the infection is cleared up, she then gets hospital delirium. And then being transferred to rehab she gets more confused. Once home, she improves and goes back to a baseline. Maybe a little less than before. However, this last time when she came home from the hospital and rehab, she began sundowning at home. I was startled because she usually gets less confused after a few days of being home. I work third shift and she appeared to be doing fairly well in the morning, as you said. But, when I checked on her before going to work, she was all packed up, clothes, medicine, etc. She asked when are we going home. I was gobbsmacked. I should have said tomorrow and lets go to bed now....but I was direct and said this is your home. It was confusing to her. But, I reminded her of our trip down to my house and moving in. She trusts me a lot so even though she was skeptical of living here, she thought, well, yes....my pictures are all hanging on the walls, so you must be right. It happened over the next few nights. Thank goodness, by the second week she was oriented to home. She knew her mother had died and her dog. I was beginning to think I needed to place her in a nursing home for fear she'd go outside when I was at work looking for her dog or some other thing. I've talked to her doctor and took her off any medicine that has a side effect of loss of balance or memory and she's doing well. So, I wonder if sundowning is something that can come and go as this seemed to do.
I think of the sundowner phenomena like a gas tank
When you are young, you have a huge gas tank and seldom need to re-fill it with sleep
As you age, your gas tank gets smaller and smaller so you have less reserve capacity
The person with dementia has several problems
First they operate with A very small tank,
and that already small tank is more rapidly drained trying to cope with any stress
And maybe poor sleep means the tank is not even filled at night
these factors combine to put the person at constant risk of depleted reserves
And therefore being unable to cope
I love this analogy, Ardy. You sound like a wonderful, caring, super informed caregiver! I think so many others could get value by the way you take a difficult topic and describe it in such a relatable way. Thank you for sharing and if you ever want to be featured on one of my videos, let me know. I think you have a lot to offer.
Natali. I've been following this channel for some time but just now subscribed. (And that despite your incorrect pronunciation of the word 'button'. ) Your videos have been a help to me in this journey so far. Just do not think there is enough solid information regarding dementia. Oddly, aside from these videos, my biggest help has come from other caregivers and family members affected by loved ones with dementia. Thank you for what you do. Come home soon and safely. Via con Dios.
Isn't it Vaya con Dios?
First you tell her to come, then you tell her to go. And, it's vaya not via. Thank you for your humor.
What helps you deal with sundowning symptoms?
Endorsing much of what I have experienced. Added to which - in Care Home - I have found that a person-centred approach is vital. Distraction works - post direct dealing with the sundowning. Each person presents in a different way and sometimes it is very hard to ascertain their 'story', which is very important. At the end of the day, depending on which stage the loved on has reached in their 'dementia' (Alzheimer's say ..) once you understand that the brain is exceedingly complex and ever moreso after damage, you realise that it is a constant learning process and far from easy. I cared for my mother prior to 'emergency respite' and admission to a very good home. I can say quite categorically, that it was the hardest experience of my life and almost broke me. Since that time and now that my mother has gone, (died at nearly 100) that experience is being applied in a Care Home with results. But you have to commit, else leave it alone. There are no half measures, as people's lives are at stake and their quality of life is, for the most part, in your hands. And a full-blown smile on what was earlier an angst-ridden face, is worth more than all the bounty in this world!
Careblazers: dementia care heroes
When my mom (87) starts getting agitated after she is in bed for the night (930-10pm) I play a youtube of the rosary and we pray together. She will doze off soundly after 3/4 decades.
That sounds very peaceful ❤
I caregive my husband and overnight before he sleeps we pray the rosary. It helps.
I live with my grandmother and usually work all throughout the day.
I come home and I'm usually up relatively late.
She recently went on a Keto diet (not entirely sure it has any affect, but I've been told by some that lack of carbs may be an onset.)
Anyway, she comes out dressed fully for church every morning and she seems aware that she can't go to church and she says she can't sleep. I don't know if it's her advanced age (81) but her rationale is very hard to follow sometimes. I try to get her to sit with me and relax, but the worst thing about it is her agitation. She's accused me of hiding and stealing things from even when I'm at work for 8+ hours a day.
She's not so confused about her being awake, she's very aware... but she's just agitated. I somewhat feel like she's just bothered because I'm checking on her because the behavior is obviously ABNORMAL, but I'm just worried.
There is a family history of Alzheimer's.
I read comments it males me sad i don't want to had "VD" but i do sundowning is terrible and i have lost a little more volume but Doctor is making me a appt to see brain Doc. I tell u it lonely i understand can explain some. When u r on da inside of sundowning its hell glad there is help for ur love ones. I finally after all the years i told my church family. But my natural family in my mind i say they don't understand but in my heart its very sad do they care. Saying this is so very sad. Im tried. I pray aways for ppl like me and thank God these words can correct themself. I try and tell my hubby we getting older. and my Dementia gets worster. No one wants to listen or try to understand my plight. Thanks you guys. Dementia ppl can be in a crowded room but still alone and so very very sad we can't help our selvers at a certain point. I have been hitting mostly missing. I can't enjoy life like i use to. I get scare about different things alot. Thank u 4 reading this
I’m 82 years old. I seem to be experiencing sundowners symptoms periodically.
I’ve suspected for a long time that I had early dementia. My health is otherwise pretty good.
i love what youre doing! thank you for the insight; it's definitely not easy
My mom didn't get a good night's sleep for 7 years. I was in school but would make the trip to the other coast as often as I could so that she could at least run errands alone or take a nap. One thing that was interesting though was we would give my grandmother an ice cream cup around 3 in the afternoon and it would perk her up and give her some clarity. I think maybe the glucose going to her brain? Anyway, it seemed to help a bit temporarily and gave her some relief from the confusion even if for a few minutes.
Hi Darcie, I am glad to hear you and your mother were able to find something that helped your grandmother. Sometimes it takes that inside knowledge of your loved one to figure out what might work for them!