Mistaking Compatibility For Love: Garcelle Reveals Her Aha Moment
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
- Relationship compatibility is usually needed for the success of a relationship but have you ever mistaken it for love?
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#relationships #compatibility #love
Why the hell is this the last season? They’re having the best conversations they’ve ever had on the show, it’s amazing
I agree...😟
because their views are down since no one watches daytime tv anymore. its really sad but its business.
Taj stop being a mammy
@@mightyblack1 ? Lmao so stupid
The budget. They were shooting the whole week in 2 days. Trying to save the show. The ladies tried.
To me love is much deeper than butterflies. It’s not just a feeling, it’s an instinct. It’s not explainable. It’s a place of safety, vulnerability and assurance. And this isn’t always at first sight
I totally agreee.
Yes 👏🏽 I agree.
🙌you said it all thank you yes yes 👏
@@finleyainsleysmith8111 you are welcome 🤗
There is a part I saw in an Indian movie years ago that I will never forget... it was about perception of Love, the lady was judged for finding Love in a arranged marriage and she responded: "you people in the west start with this intense Love at first sight with a base out of passion and fire and then slowly the fire dies out, we start the opposite we start building towards a Love first then comes passion out of that is build in Love." Which I think people think that Love starts with fire, when really Love is peaceful, Love is calm and very soft. You can always build on passion when there is true Love, but you can't build Love just out of passion. Basically this idea that people have of Love is because they have not yet understood the meaning of Love.
Adrienne is 100% correct on this one. Compatibility has nothing to do with having similar interests. Compatibility is about personality, and often, the people who we are most compatible with are people who are DIFFERENT from us because we have the things within our personalities that they need in theirs and they have the things in their personalities that we need in ours. So it just fits together like two hands. I think if you are too similar, there could be a lack of attraction in the relationship.
Loni read verbatim that the definition of it is when 2 people occur to exist without conflict - its said noting about similarities 🙄
Actually I disagree on one part of that, I think people are more compatible with people who are similar , I think for the most part ..it is differences that are the source of conflict in relationships.
One thing with Loni...she gonna read that definition.
Fellow engineer lol
@@missnlahi bruhhhhh. Lol she has me tired with that
🤣😂
We can count on her for the definition and the stats
😄😄😊😊😊💓
Lord, can we let Adrienne talk? That was wisdom she was speaking. Being similar doesn’t necessarily mean you’re compatible and being compatible doesn’t mean you’re in love. 🙄
Compatibility does equal love if it doesn't that means love is empty and baseless
Loni read verbatim that the definition of it is when 2 people occur to exist without conflict - its said noting about similarities 🤦🏾♀️
Yes, so glad you said this. I’ve noticed that Loni has a way of glazing over people and tries to silence them. It comes off sort of narcish and we want To hear from everyone and want all to have an equal voice and level of respect for each other. It’s also like she tries to eliminate Adrienne from the conversation and only wants to hear from Garcelle. I sees Garcelle pulling Adrienne back in too this is a weird dynamic especially for someone who calls Adrienne’s husband often. Unlike do you like her or not… very bizarre.
I feel like what Adrienne was saying was so on point but Loni was so quick to interrupt and show that she is the only one who understood compatibility.
But the conversation was great overall!
Adrienne was so spot on!!! Compatibility is not similar interests, it’s more of a vibe or personalities. And I love that! More than anything you need to “LIKE” your partner
Compatability doesn't mean you like the same things..Adrienne is correct
I feel like it’s a part of compatibility. Sharing the same likes and interest helps you guys gel better together.
From what I'm hearing, it sounds like being compatible means you can tolerate the same things, but not necessarily like the same things. I also think that this can be a slippery slope because if you're the one constantly compromising to please the other person, you can lose yourself in that relationship and become resentful. I think you should have a good amount of things in common that you both like, and can compromise or settle for a few things.
@@DH-uw3us definitely
Oh I so would have loved to hear Jeanie’s take on this one. But yes Butterflies/Love goes in phases and there must be Compatibility Plus Love & Passion🥰
Yes, missed her! I wonder if she was busy with the baby?
Naw we’re good.
@@candacedawn357 Probably was, these were filmed during her maternity leave.
Adrienne we definitely agree that your definition of love is so normal….
I will always remember this from Adrienne “Relationship is more than love, you have to like the person”. I’ve not liked any of my exes. Loved them, if you took out the love, they were dicks.
🤣🤣, it almost feels like....loving someone always has to go in hand with liking them, otherwise you might fall short of the friendship. Yet, so is the other important elements to building a genuine relationship, and rather the matter of time, that you are to know if u are up for a good direction, or u should let go.
What I've learned as I've gotten older is that love is not what you feel, it's what you do. So, if someone is treating you well, dependable, honest, is thoughtful, giving, making sacrifices, compassionate towards you and respecting you... that is how love is built. Love is not an accident, so you don't just fall into it. And you can't fall out of love with someone either. It is Passion/lust that dies, but love is eternal because it's a purposeful act, not a Feeling.
This!!! 🙌🏾 I relate to this because feelings are fickle. Being married you can’t just run with a feeling because give it some time and it will change. Different seasons throughout marriage for sure.
@@danielledefreitas2021 Exactly! Basically love is a choice.
Oh wow, i think you right @LadyMissy. It's one thing to know you have feelings for someone, no matter how strong you might think those feelings are....and another thing to act out the love.
@@LifeIsGood49 Indeed!
💗
Everyone made great points and that’s why relationships are based on the individual and can’t be generalized.
True
Garcelle is a Sag she needs that spark to feel the love which I get. Adrienne was on point, ultimately compatibility is what will keep the relationship going.
I think Garcelle was missing “passion”
more so then “Love” bc “passion” and “compatibility” are both essential
You can fall in love with anyone, that's why you need to be careful who you allow into your life to make sure you don't fall in love with someone inappropriate to you.
Exactly
Yup, people do grow on you. Make sure you limit access to you.
Adrienne is making some very important points, especially for people who struggle with OCD that comes out in their relationships!!!
There goes Loni deflecting again. Gurl, sexing aint everything and butterflies in the stomach could be gas, Garcelle. Ade is keeping it real.
😊😊😊😅😅 the gas part lmaoo
Compatibility and connection is the foundation. Love is the building blocks holding the relationship together (I think). I also agree with Loni...I do believe love takes time. I really dont subscribe to the "love at first sight" notion. I think you will "lust at first sight" and that's about it and that does not always eventually lead to love. Adrienne also made a good point about the ebb and flow of butterflies. You may not always like the season you are in the relationship, if there is love there, doesn't mean the relationship ends because you dont feel butterflies in that moment.
These have been incredible conversations, don’t gooooo 😭😭😭
Love and compatibility together are so hard to find. I’ve loved but have been so incompatible with the person, it’s heartbreaking. I get so confused by these conversations. Sometimes people say “it takes more than love” then sometimes they say “if you’re not in love it doesn’t matter if you’re compatible”. Which one is it?! I swear the older I get the less I feel I understand
Right. It seems very rare, which makes sense when you're talking about traditional male/female relationships. We're the opposite sex so it makes sense that we wouldn't have a lot in common. I don't care for sports, but most males do. I can tolerate certain ones to be close to my partner, but it's not something I would ever be a fanatic about.
Women with love, want chemistry. Women with chemistry want love. I think it's a state of mind. Look A she is happy with a guy many wouldn't look at twice. You create what u want.
Compatibility anyday is More important.
@Day Well said. 🥲🥲 Even though i so wish i could apply or compare that analogy to the reality of relationships, coz i'd just add water to soup...n be sorted. Relationships are hard...n more hard when struggling with mental health issues.
@Day Yeah, coz when all is said and done, by being accountable for ourselves and doing the best at not just investing on ourselves, we can hopefully stand a chance at love. We are loved. But its always important to know yourself, and also expect that the next person does the same, as you may both look foward to some potential relationship.
I get what Adrienne is saying.
Arranged marriages are still very much a modern thing, including in different diaspora in the US
Adrianne was spot on ..especially with the last part she said before it went oof.
I agree with Loni, Love can come after compatibility. You just have to know what compatibility MEANS!! Super important.
Man I’m gonna miss this show! Truly one of a kind
Adrienne is right, what Garcelle is describing is not combatibility
Yup, similarities doesn’t mean compatibility
Compatibility is about having similar values and morals with regard to the most important things in life from kids , family , ambition , spirituality etc and not if you both like the same music or like the same foods. I feel like you need to be compatible, attracted and like the person as a friend at the very least - like spending time with them , being able to laugh and be yourself around them and then love can grow in the relationship . And when your relationship changes through it’s seasons , you’re in a better place to cope with those changes .
I didn't have a "spark" with my husband, but we're comparable and I'm so glad we're married! American culture over emphasizes attraction/chemistry, but it's not really needed. If their character is good, love can grow. ❤️ (TLDR: sparks are nice, but not needed for a great marriage)
Can't forget the over focus on sexual compatibility, vs. compatibility and shared values, and how you are being treated overall.
"I don't love y'all like that" ~LONI LOVE
🤣🤣🤣
😊😊😅😅😄💕💓 she was probably being real
I feel like Adrienne wasn’t understood
This thinking can be dangerous too… you can easily say chemistry is more important than compatibility but chemistry/butterflies can just be lust and not love. Adrienne is right, chemistry can wear off at times and you can realize you don’t even like that person I.e no comparability. It’s a balance of both and sometimes one is stronger than the other. Wait it out before jumping to a quick ending because one could be stronger over the other later depending on the season of both your lives. This is why they say relationships/marriage is hard. You start to doubt if your efforts are worth keeping it alive.
Agreed Adrienne. You have to like the person. ❤️❤️❤️
Longevity requires love, compatibility and commitment. That's what they forgot to mention. Research the Triangular theory of love.
Damn, they're ending the show on a high note. Best conversation ive heard in a long time.
I would totally do an arranged marriage if I was paired with someone with the same core values. Everything else can be established and built. As long as we have a common goal and open hearts .
This is such a great conversation that no one discusses. I often speak to my friends about my list of what the ideal man for me is. And friends will ask me why, of all the dates I go on over the years, why haven't I met the right guy yet?
And it has everything to do with this topic. I have met MANY men that on paper people that know me best would consider them compatible with me. But I am smart enough to know all that means nothing if we don't have chemistry.
Is there electricity. When we look at one another does it go beyond lust to something deeper? Do I like him? Does he like me? Can we agree to disagree on issues that come up and still long to hear each other's voice or spend a lazy Sunday afternoon together? I think all of the ladies touched on aspects of this topic that relate to how I feel.
Mariah said it " Love takes time" 😎
Love to me is compatible from As definition. You vibe. You go together. Comfortability. Vulnerability.
I love Loni but she has a horrible habit of cutting people off. She cuts people off right in the beginning of their sentence.
Adrienne makes total sense and Loni wasn’t understanding
We can like alot of the same things but that doesn't mean we have the same morals/foundation which equates to our attitudes and ideologies. That's were the fights start. Instant chemistry is also important. You can love someone and think they are great, but not have any chemistry, which can't be forced.
Garcelle is such a catch she is classy, truthful, stunning, good dress sense and I am sure there is more to her. I could be wrong but I feel like she likes being single and also she can be too hard headed to see things through. But I hope if she truly wants love she gets that one day! I think her next man needs to be Will Smith lmao I wonder how they'd be as a couple? Sag and the Libra ???
They dated. Read her book.
Agree with Ade..butterflies r not always gna be flying and thts ok
PLEASE CONTINUE AS A PODCAST. OR RUclips ONLY SHOW. PLEASE
In high school there was a guy that everyone wanted me to be with. My two best friends were dating his two best friends so it would have been so convenient lol. On top of that we did make a really good looking couple. However, we had no chemistry and nothing in common. He asked me to the homecoming dance and it was so awkward the whole time.
Loni and these damn DEFINITIONS! And she be DETERMINED to read them! 😂😂😂😂😂😩😭😭😩
Compatibility is more than shared interests. After all, both parties need an interest/hobby that is solely theirs. It is more about having a shared cause that is built on the same values and principles. Then one goes into chemistry and physical attraction. Now the first is the tricky part because that is all vibes and how you both flow.
I think she was missing chemistry 😅
One good thing about this show ending is not having to listen to Adrienne talk over everyone all the damn time😂
Best conversations and topics this season!
2:41 😂😅😊😊 she's so passionate 💓💕💕 I like when she get so passionate about certain things certain topics 😊
Y’all look snatched today 😍👌🏾 Loved this conversation 🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎
Arrangements marriage do better then even picking the person
Hmmm at times. It's not uncommon for couples to stay married due to social stigma as well.
compatibility has nothing to do with having things in common, or similarities, Adrienne was going there actually..
All the ladies have good input🔥
But Andrienne is saying something a bit different here. That Love should be treated in a more serious way based on Practical needs in life than Emotions,which at times may fade away.
Garcelle comes out as basing her Love life more on Romance than other aspects in a relationship.
When she says how they used to have similar tastes for stuff with this guy, am like, that was your right one...
At first she had feelings for him but later...
Problem still is,much as a Romantic connection is Sweet,a guy can be Hyper Romantic But not Loving ie doesn't have your welfare at Heart.
I'd rather buy Andrienne's version coz its more Long lasting.
Tho' l ❤ Garcelle for real, l feel like she should engage in more discussions and if possible,embrace other views...
Surprisingly,she might confess to loving them more than she'd ve expected.
I stand to be Corrected, but l strongly feel that way guyz.
I think Garcelle had CHEMISTRY with the guy, but not COMPATIBILITY. And oftentimes, chemistry can feel like compatibility and compatibility can feel like love.
Garcelle doesn't know what garcelle wants. Amazing woman but she gonna atay single. Shes looking for a fairytale that don't exist
Garcelle and this orangey red is just 😍💣
Hair on point Loni 🧡
There is something to be said about CHEMISTRY
I think that’s what Garcelle was describing but oftentimes, people label chemistry as compatibility. I use to and sooner or later, one can realize that chemistry is fickle and will not sustain
Compatibility does equal love according to Adrian's definition and if it doesn't then love is just a empty feeling that is based on nothing
Indian weddings are mostly about compatibility at first. The pandit knows all about that.. Horoscope stuff and auspicious weddings dates get chosen by him.
So i'm not shocked it developed later for him. But yes to me they are 2 separate things. So i do understand what Garcelle felt for this guy and what was missing.
Yessss it takes time to fell in love
I have fallen in love just to find out that I didn't even like the person.
No they were similar. Not compatible.
Love is really just a choice I believe
Lonnie’s makeup artist been doing the dang thing!
Loni be dismissing Adrienne a lot here
ALWAYS
She does! She feel like Adrienne don’t know nothing! Lol She be like “Gracelle....”...Maybe because Garcelle is closer to her in age.
I think what they didn't touch on is the fact that you can be compatible but if you don't have CHEMISTRY it won't last.
The only thing that's making it sad for me with The Real ending is that Justin Sylvester has never been a Bro-host here. I love his and Loni's chemistry 😂
people consistently confuse chemistry with compatibility.
It’s too hard lmaoo 😭😭😭
Neither is enough...
I feel like Garcelle from my most recent. I also didn’t necessarily feel compatible with him either hahah
Gm edagdwg thanks you tube for sharing this special story of what happens when you feel true love from the inside out pay attention to what you do and say only god can bless us with true love from the soul soooooooo blessed to feel gods gifts of true love Linda j. Peace
Loni got it in point 💯💖
Work relationship is not what people should generalise it's an individual thing. It happens and Works for people differently.
Getting along and being compatible doesn't equal real attraction.
i feel like what Adrienne is not getting is that compatibility doesnt always mean romantic compatibility. i have an ex that i was compatible with, but what i realised years after the break up was that we are really good friends.had we not romanticised things we could have been like brother and sister.
Compatibility is different from similarity.i think Garcel had a similarity relationship in the past with that guy.
Adrienne always has to be right and then says "really" or "mhmm". Literally every clip I watch its the same thing
I mean Loni is wrong and STRONG so I understand 😂
@@sen-cher lol what do you mean strong?
🤣😆
Do we need to be “in love” in a relationship or just in “loving devotion”? Are a lot of butterflies necessary or just some? Of course different people have different opinions/needs. What do y’al think?
That’s the thing. There’s not best answer. It’s how you want to life to be. It’s your choice
Good questions!
This is the difference between east and west i guess.
For us in east we give a lot of importance to compatibility.
Because true Love like twin flame might be rare.
Sometimes the being in Love feeling can mellow down as we age And have responsibilities.
Sometimes I feel in the west the moment the in love feeling mellows down couples finnally see they have nothing in common And divorce.
Thats why divorce rate is high.
But if our thoughts incline in some important things like spiritual believe system ,some shared interest , Or parenting techniques etc marriages last much longer.
Its good to be in love always And make An effort but marriages can't be based only on romantic Love.
Compatibility again does Not mean all interest Or hobbies are Same. Some ppl are getting it wrong.It just means we are compatible enough to do practical everyday things without bickering at each other .
Marriages here in the east do last longer because we don't dump our spouse the moment we realise we are Not in Love anymore.
Loni's voice and my ears aren't compatible. But i like her 😊
If y’all ladies talking about ‘Love’, my pastor said is that: “YOU HAVE TO LOVE PEOPLE!” That’s what my pastor said at my church.
This topic so important for our youth
I love Adrienne's outfit!
What Garcelle just described seem more like tolarance to me tolerating the person in compatibility 😢😮 I guess I don't know doesn't seem so compatible to me like the way Adrienne described it out of love and compassion 😍❤️ she has a way of doing that tbh sems so back in the day on Garcelle's part 4:58 Like she said but could be True in one instance or the other
yeah
Fall in love with ppl and realized I don’t like them. Damnnnn!!
Connection is the missing word
Can you have love without compatibility?
Good question
Today, it seems like people are more about "matching stats or having the best stats" than Love or even Compatibility.
That said, the core of Relationships is being able to "Relate" to the other person. Not to be a Power Couple.
Is Loni doing the always talking Garcelle's side, and speaking over Adrienne thing ... again? and again, and again? *sigh
I have friends and family who have arranged marriages. Yes it’s a little more modern. You go on a couple dates then decide to get married. And those are the ones who end up lasting. Love should not be the only reasoning for getting married
Differences between compatibility and complementary please🤔
Why is loni skipping over A ? Like damn
but I don't want a man who i am not in love with. or he is not in love with me.
I'm for all people. Crown Drizzle King over the whole table. We come in peace. Well my spirit left Earth Dirth came back in one piece.