Thanks for watching and would love to hear your thoughts: - what’s the bigger threat: overpopulation vs population collapse? - And do you want kids, why or why not? And for more frequent uploads, check out my second channel - GEN+: youtube.com/@moreGEN
There's no way to know really or there's no 1 answer to it all. In the end, it depends on circumstances, like food availability, arable land, etc. Just like someone afraid of having kids or wanting to have kids, it usually boils down to their financial/home circumstances.
Population collapse is a bigger threat, especially in western countries. Hell yeah I want kids. It brings extra meaning and joy to life. But not right now, too young still
America: Let’s charge people an arm and leg for a college education so they can get an entry level job that require a doctoral degree with 3 years of work experience. Also America: why is the workforce so low and people aren’t having kids?!
The worst thing to do is forcing people who don't want kids into having kids. They're going to resent the kids forever and the kid is gonna have a tough life ahead.
Yeah nobody can force you to have children unless you are R & even then there’s options. Don’t have kids. Just don’t bash women who decide to have kids.
@@AhminaIsmael it’s not that person bashing women that choose to have kids. It’s you breeders who bash us child free people for choosing to live child free and not choosing to breed. It’s painfully obvious that breeders are jealous of child free people because we get to do whatever you want when we want because we are mature enough to know what we want and not make a mistake and have kids that you aren’t ready for or you don’t really want, and end up regretting.
@@Colony08 I’m not reading all of this. If it weren’t for us “breeders” you wouldn’t exist. You’re disrespectful, and you make being a mother in this world even harsher. Do what you want to do, don’t have children… but stop being disrespectful to people whom chose to. Nobody cares that you’re child free, truth be told… if I wanted that life, I would have chosen it.
@@Colony08 I don’t even know what your gender is supposed to be… I’m definitely not jealous. You have such a strange way of looking at life… anybody can choose to be child free , even women with children lol. If women are staying… it’s because they want to. You want women to be jealous of whatever you are….. but it’ll never be the case
I think if someone doesn’t want to have kids, it shouldn’t be forced. I grew up in a home where I wasn’t wanted and, as a result, I have horrendous psychological scars which I am in therapy for. Don’t force this and don’t pretend that having kids is easy.
i dont think anyone couldnt argue with that. i believe the argument some make about this topic is for the people who want children but prioritize work before like its actually going to fulfill them more then having a family. no on will care what you did when you were younger, but having a family around is something else.
It shouldn't be forced. However, it shouldn't also so easily be accepted NOT to have kids. Some of the reasons people don't want children are ridiculous and show that they aren't thinking long term.
It's funny how all these rich people kept telling the working class that if they can't afford kids, don't have them. And now that people are making the decision not to have kids because of affordability, suddenly it's an issue. I grew up in poverty and watched my mom nearly kill herself doing her best to provide food and shelter. I don't want to bring in another person to suffer through that stress. I have a decent paying job relative to my area, but even that is barely enough for groceries and rent, let alone buying a house and raising a kid with my wife. Besides, the rest of my family breeds like rabbits anyway, so I really don't feel any kind if obligation to have one.
@@altingashi3927 First off, birth control wasn't really a thing back then, so of course people were going to easily get pregnant. Secondly, we're actually worse off right now than it was in the Great Depression. But otherwise, that makes total sense. "You don't have money? Just have a kid and worry about having another mouth to feed. And the cost of health care. And child care." I've too much empathy to hand off that kind of harm to a new person.
@@GothicGali They won't have enough workers AND money. The rich's entire empire is completely reliant on the working class buying their products and funding their empire. Once the population goes down, that means there won't be another person in line to buy their products and fund their empire.
The previous generation were able to do these unhealthy things and have addictions such as alcoholism, smoking, and gambling and still be able to provide family and have a house because the costs of living were low. They would not have survived in today's economy, but in reality the people who suffered in today's world were these generations. The majority of this generation suffered through the mental illness, narcissism, selfishness, and illness of their parents and grandparents. They are the reason why this generation is mentally ill. The consequences of their decisions and outlook on life, living, working, and having family relationships are being felt by this generation and the decline in birth rates is a symptom of this.
@@GothicGali It's less about working class since why do you think the big corporation and big tech are constantly pushing for AI and robots? So they don't need human works anymore, and more about consumers. The ultra rich needs more kids so they can continue on the cycle of supporting the system that enslaves them. Less kids already means less people to keep the machine greased up and going. Why else do you think the ultra rich are now villainizing the childfree movement? It's one thing for people to be unable to support a child, it's another when they willingly don't want a child.
I've got 3 kids and what people said is true: they're difficult, annoying, take away my free time etc. And yet I've found I've never been happier than these years raising them. I have sacrificed a lot for them, but sacrificing in one area can bring happiness and other positives in another. I love them and don't regret having them
As a father of 5... children do not bring happiness. Nor they should. They are not the amusement park to make me or my wife happy all the time. And life in general is not about being happy all the time, who and why in the world reduced the life itself to this as if happiness is the only desirable thing we should experience? I had my young days with all the parties and time only for me and my ambitions, sometimes I miss it (especially time only for me), yet I never regretted my choice and I don't think that this is how my whole life should be. There's more to it. Regarding my wife... well, 20 years ago, when we both were partying and stuff I couldn't imagine she could be so devoted mother. It was her who told me "I want more kids" when we already had 2 (a standard upper limit to most of people of so called "western culture"). I said "OK". And here we are. Parenting is not easy, far from it, especially these days when the life in the west has so much possibilities (career, leisure, personal development, travels, buying stuff to keep up with consumerist lifestyle) and having children essentially means to limit most of it... especially for women. Sadly, it's the other women these days who mock and degrade women who chose to be moms. The cultural background is against family and women who chose to be mothers. I don't get it. When it comes to "the world is overpopulated"... well the western world is dying. The demographic explosion is going in the poorest countries of Asia and Africa but it's people of the west who are bombarded every single day with this "do not reproduce" agenda. Why? Someone could explain this to me? Why to have 8-9 kids in a country where even nature can't sustain the amount of people is OK and worth supporting while the western world where the population is the same as it was post WW2 (meaning western Europe) is constantly shamed with this "do not reproduce" thing?
What bothers me about people who dont want children is how most of them are self indulgent. And how they all forget that the younger people will pay for their pension when they retire. People who dont want to have children are some of the most shortsighted human beings who have ever lived.
@@wafercrackerjack880 yep. Hypocrisy at it's best. Usually these people are the same, who preach eco-friendly agenda but they have to have the latest iPhone, also they care so much about human right across the world yet they ignore that in the factories where iPhone was made people were killing themselves due to unbearable working conditions. This is just one of few examples of their "thinking" patterns. The strange thing is that they are indoctrinated with this only in universities of US and western Europe. The rest of the world don't have it. As if the west is super enthusiastic about going extinct.
Ikr, like how many of these people would go out of their way to talk to me irl about the fact that I wont be having kids. And guess what? I'd laugh in their faces. I didn't choose to be born, but it's my life and I refuse to fuck.
I totally respect someone's opinion of not having kids, and there's people who say that they don't and it is because they are not prepared for it. But some of the comments are horrendous, saying that children are gross. edit - might as well add that I'm one of the individuals who don't want kids(also that I'm unmarried and a complete virgin), but that doesn't mean I hate kids(or would call them gross). And honestly, if one feels disgusted about kids instead of feeling protective of them I don't think such a person deserves to be called a human. One thing to choose to not have kids, another thing to completely hate them. There's something called "compassion" and everyone deserves it, including kids. Especially kids.
I never realized being child free was a ‘movement’. All I know is, I never had a desire to have kids or get married when I younger. Now that I’m older, I still don’t. I’ve always enjoyed my own company & consider myself a loner, but not lonely. It’s cool to know there are others like me.
I think the use of “movement” here is a bit over the top. There are a number of people on RUclips and TikTok sharing their childfree lifestyles, but it doesn’t make a dent in the number of people having kids.
No you are very much not alone......they are thousands of us who are happy child free.....its just sadly we have needed to justify it lately.....enjoy your beautiful life and never feel you have to explain yourself 🥰
@@lbhappy there's always been people like you and it's never been a problem because the vast majority of people still had kids (and a lot of them). The worrying thing is that the number of such people is increasing so much, because eventually that leads to the end of humanity. So we need to understand what's causing this
I respect people that don’t want kids.. there’s some people that shouldn’t be parents and we’re pressured by society to have children .. we don’t need more neglected children
Also statistically, people who don’t have kids are more financially stable, have better romantic relationships, are more physically fit, and overall report lower levels of depression.
This is one of the reasons I don't want children. I know what it's like to be raised by a person like me and it psychologically fucked me up so I'm not going to do that to another child.
Society: Have children or there won't be enough people to take care of the elderly. Also society: Stop expecting hand-outs! If you couldn't afford to take care of those kids, you should have kept your legs closed!
" If you couldn't afford to take care of those kids, you should have kept your legs closed!" Yeah, in the age of declining birth rates, that attitude needs to be reversed
I wonder if they’ll actually look at that in 50+ years. Are they going to see who had kids and who didn’t before they start handing out social security? 😅 I can see the chaos now.
Basically, Society doesn’t know wtf they want. The elderly should’ve taken care of their bodies when they were young instead of running it down in expectation that they’ll be taken care of. I pray that I continue to exercise and move my body as I get older, I don’t want to expect anyone to take care of me. I’d rather die lol
@@PookieAkATiana The care is at least at the end of life when the organs are breaking down. BLKs also get hit harder with dementia. Adults should be given the medical option to end things, but the reality is that few females will do this when the time comes. Males seem to be able to do this easier because they are less adept at social connections while preferring to die as a net producer. Females as a group aren't net producers until children are added to the equation
So interesting to watch your audience grow so steadily...because you are producing some of the most thought provoking journalism on the web...you are going places good sir, keep up the good work!
Yes, this is the real shit. I wish I found a real channel like him 10 years ago when I first started watching brain dead content on RUclips. Try going to the RUclips home page without being logged in. If it doesn’t know who you are it just going to show you, “child friendly” content that will turn your child’s brains to mush because nobody is allowed to speak the truth to children in this world so we raid them on garbage like MrBeast and Logan Paul. No wonder kids are getting dumber and dumber. Thank god for this champion
@@mallorycarpinski1160 I subscribed quick, you'll enjoy his approach in the rest of his videos, it's very similar and very thought provoking...its a return of nuance and it's refreshing
People should be pressured more into having children than going to college. We need the next generation. We don't need English majors. (no offense to English majors)
@@shammydammy2610that's just a bunch of non sense. You should absolutely be pressured to have kids, especially women. The data on childless women after they can't have kids anymore is clear, there is a massive amount of women who get depressed. So while you might think you're being nice by telling them whatever they choose is fine, you're lying to them, they don't know what they don't know yet.
@@JP_26 Absolutely not. If someone doesn't want children, that is the end of that. People have the right to dictate where their lives go...and the very idea that women 'should absolutely be pressured to have kids' is awful and I suggest you get help. And I am not lying to my adult sons, if they don't want kids, then I absolutely support them in that choice.
I worked for years in a Nursing Home....Many adult children don't even visit their elderly parent..let alone " care for them ". And one of the biggest crimes now is stealing from th,e elderly..mainly their adult children feeling entitled to drain their parents bank account. Parents should be very careful, who they designate as their Power of Attorney and Executror of their estate....appoint more than 1 person.
As a person of color, African American, I have a fear of becoming a single mother stereotype, having a husband that don't act like a partner, and/or dying while giving birth.
If its any comfort, maternal mortality is exceptionally low, I bet there are a 100 things you do every day that have a higher chance of killing you. Also your race has nothing to do with being a good single parent or not. Make the right critical priorities when finding a mate, make sure they are stable, kind, protective, assertive, confident, and actually want to be a father. And not weighting looks, money or status as much as women tend to do.
It's because of this that I think there was some merit in the more…patriarchal...society in the past. Families weren't these isolated little units and communities helped raise children. Furthermore, if you were marrying a woman, you were marrying her family as well. So if you were the kind of dog shit human being, who knocked her up, and then decided you didn't want to stick around, well, your ass would be grass because her brothers, cousins, and God for bid, her father would be out for your blood. I feel like we lost that societal check on the men.
Exactly. This is how I feel too but I dont even bother telling this to people. I just full stop at “I’m not having any”. They wouldn’t even understand the explanation anyhow and simply invalidate it.
I didn’t want kids because it’s a constant worry that something bad could happen to them. I also grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family with alcoholic parents and a dad who would abuse us by locking us in the basement, not feed us, force us to hit each other, etc. Now I’m a parent of the happiest little 5 year old. Her dad and I are nothing like my parents and now I’m grateful for my little family. It’s hard some days but there’s so many things that are even more enjoyable with her around. - Like going to the grocery store, going on a simple walk, or movie. Even holidays are more fun and brighter with kids around.
I think one thing missing from the argument is the reality of single motherhood for a lot of mothers nowadays. I think a part of us not wanting to have children is the fact that men have a "choice" to participate and the reality that they choose not to is real and scary. I know watching some of my friends and family essentially be ghosted by the fathers of their children or "coparenting" has been a contributing factor in my choice to wait. We as a society aren't really holding men accountable for offspring in the same way that women are held accountable, but I think it takes two.😅
THIS! Like men can literally choose to leave or even if they don't physically leave, they take no part in raising the kids. Combine that with the fact that most women in the developed world work nowadays and you can see why children are less popular. The only way it would be fair for the man to not actively child raise is if he was supporting the entire family but that's unrealistic too nowadays. Plus, women are shamed for looking for men who are wealthier even though this would allow them to be sahm (which is what men seem to want). The double standard is crazy. If a mother neglected her kids she'd be criticized severely but if a dad takes his son to school he's "an amazing dad".
100%. I also noticed this video is focused on women mostly. Men should be equally interviewed and equally responsible for population decrease. Yet it always seems to land on the woman. Guess it's nothing new.
And there's more: ten to twenty percent chance of a kid with a disability, and a society that offers little support for them and their families. Certain kids with certain conditions do ruin their parent's lives.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT SOCIETIES JOB TO RAISE SOMEONE ELSES KIDS!!! Get married and have a strong mature relationship and then yes have kids and care for them. What broken bankrupt logic of you people in here. What a freaking shame.
@@45eno Uh yes it is, the idea of a single family raising a kid is an extremely modern idea For centuries entire villages all knew each other and raised each other
My husband and I got married young and started having kids right away. I stayed home to care for them and we were very broke. But the funny thing is now that our kids are older, they say they didn’t even know we had money problems. They say they felt rich, because they always felt loved and cared for. Stuff isn’t what a kid needs it’s time and attention.
This is true. For most of my childhood, since my parents were immigrants, they were always struggling with money, yet I always felt I had everything I needed growing up. I didn't know until I got older, and I respect them a lot for pulling through all of that.
Another interesting POV is that perhaps modern society puts an intense amount of value on romantic connections and childbearing, as opposed to emphasizing the connections we build in our overall community/village. Yes, romantic partners or having children can provide a beautiful sense of connection, but thinking that romance or children are the sole solution to loneliness or old-age happiness is putting a lot of pressure on those two connections alone. If we, however, establish an entire community that we can lean on...friends, neighbors, extended family...we can find a lot more meaning and a sense of belonging and support from multiple directions. Imagine being able to not only depend on your kids during old age, but also on your extended family, friends and neighbors. Imagine being old and having neighbors that check in on you or invite you over for dinner. Imagine having friends that come over to sip coffee every morning, or extended family that you can visit often. Imagine being a part of a community garden where everyone shares the veggies and fruits they grow, or that can give you tips on how to keep your tulips healthy. I think we'd feel more fulfilled if we built a strong community that goes beyond just romantic relationships or kids. It takes a village to raise a kid, they say. I argue it takes a village to make any person feel a sense of belonging.
This, I personally believe people want less kids when they live in cities, because they are disconnected from nature and community. If young women lived near extended families, with a sense of community and solidarity in a beautiful place, they would not fear having kids this much. Urbanization and reduced family size means a lot of young mother cannot count on the "village" for childcare options, they are not treated and supported well after birth (sent back after one day), and are isolated with male partners who often don't step up... modern life has made motherhood depressing and isolating.
I agree, this focus on "kids" is much of the same individual focus, masquerading as community. It should be focusing on community, not "kids" alone. And in a larger community, having kids is easier.
I had a child and realized there is no connection deeper than my connection to my child. Not even with my partner. This connection is amazing and deep and fills me with joy. The brain just changes after having a baby. It’s not really societal conditioning
I think what also should be mentioned is declining fertility. How many couples try to have kids but can't. And how weird it is that coutries are so desperate for higher birth rates but most of them refuse to give enough or any financial aid for IVF and other assisted reproduction.
I think that most of this is caused by having kids far later in life. Let's face it, conception and pregnancy are far less likely to succeed when a woman is in her late 30s. It's tough, our modern lives have been set up to lead to this, so I get it. But there is not enough attention being given to it, we only focus on other, arguably less influential aspects, probably because it's a socially controversial topic to question the age that a woman decides to have kids.
@@_Lumiere_ well, the reasons for infertility are complex and so are individual reasons why sb might arrive to have their child-wish later in life... generelly I find it is well known how female fertility declines...but I agree that (western) society doesn't do much to put focus on the value of family and children. There is much materialism and competion of lifestyle instead.
@@mori.kurogawa7936 I just find it that the increased age at which women have their first children is barely ever talked about when talking about the decline in fertility. It's the single most important biological factor. But it's understandable why that topic is avoided, I guess. I agree that western society doesnt put nearly enough value in having a family, even discouraging it in certain cases, making it seem like "you're not living your best life."
Bruh literally the poorest countries on earth have the highest birth rates even countries like Sweden that provide free child care and maternity and paternity leave have lower birth rates throwing money at a societal issue isn't the problem the problem is your mentality the nuclear family designed for the development of the youth having a dual parent household where one partner stays and the other works is the ideal child raising strategy but due to the demonization of housewives by radical feminist and societies expectation for women to still date above their socioeconomic groups eliminating the possibility for househusbans it created the perfect melting pot for a anti baby environment
@@walter2201 I'm talking about IVF and ART, which can be too expensive to afford for many infertile couples. Infertility has nothing to do with antibaby attitudes. And living in a rich coutnry doesn't mean sb. is automatically rich. There is lots of poverty within rich countries, too. And so are all kind of wealth statues.
Yep and so does the father. Lots of time and effort either at home caring for kids or the father being at work providing. It is a bedrock to society to not focus on only self but to care for others. You GAIN far more than you lose though.
@@Cameron39829 It's because people always ask childfree people "Won't you regret not having kids some day?" while people never ask people who are thinking about having children whether or not they will regret their decision. It can become annoying when people who have or want children constantly try to convince you as a childfree person to decide otherwise. They think that they know what is best for you as if we have not thought about the decision and weighed it out ourselves. That's why I think this phrase is popular among childfree people. But I agree it is a personal decision and neither choice is a bad.
@darkstar 1651 it's honestly the same the other way too, both groups try to lecture the other. You can see this in his video, "how can you have children the world is overpopulated!?" "How can you not have children you'll die alone and sad?!"
If someone wants kids and is capable of caring for them that's completely okay and if someone doesn't want kids that's also okay. Happiness and how someone goes about getting it is gonna be different for from one person to another.
I’m a 41 year old woman who never has had children. I have a long list of reasons why. The main reason is that I just don’t feel any desire to be a mother. Babies and children do not appeal to me at all. I actually find them to be too loud and often annoying. I don’t mind them in small doses, but more than that would be exhausting. I also have a genetic chronic illness that my mother passed on to me, as well as several other awful genes. If I had a daughter, there is a good chance she would have this disease too. I’ve become increasingly ill, and some days have trouble taking care of myself. When I found out I was infertile, I was relieved. As I get older, I feel more and more relieved I never had a child. I am a godmother to my beautiful nephew and that is enough for me. 😊
Good for you! I relate to so many of your reasons. I don’t particularly like children - they’re fine from afar. Other than that, I am genuinely worried about climate change (having experienced its effects firsthand for years). I’m such an introvert and also highly anxious person that the idea of taking care of someone that is completely dependent on me is a nightmare.
@@eydpotter I agree. Climate change is a big reason for me also. I can see it happening also and the increasing lack of water is a huge worry. It sounds like you have made the right decision for yourself also 😊
@boy Afrika don’t feel sad for me. Feel sad for women like me who really want kids but can’t have them. It’s better it happens to me than someone who wants a baby 🤷🏻♀️
@boy Afrika wow I am really sorry you went through that! I’m happy you have your son. I wish you all the best and hope you will have lots of peace and happiness in your life. Big hugs 💚✌🏻☮️
what ive seen happily married people with already kids can be surprisingly careless "oops it just happened" and they get 3rd,4th even 5th child. Families with 1-2 kids are very rarely like this, they ponder and plan very long time. It is also irony people in west think about this while problems are elsewhere... and they have selfish, greedy intentions to have as many kids as possible. Of whom many can come to west later to get that iphone and other promised hilife things(which often their parents dream of).
@markstein2845my main point is if they can afford 1-2 kids, likely they are wealthy enough over time to have almost as many as they want... life is pretty expensive, to earn income for 1-2 extra humans food and space + energy. Technically redneck/religion cult wise having 10 kids dont cost that much if dont care about their social and other needs. Thats why they come to west or other places desperately trying to find any job, income, sometimes any means necessary. It's true something has gone wrong when people must work long days and still worry getting laid off and all that, starvation or forced to move. But you're right, if things suddenly get better, people just do easiest thing and again "live beyond means", maximize their family size and all that.... doesnt need religion to know that. It seems cyclical: grandparents time needed more people to work, so big families were fine... now we have enough people and not need lot of kids if we be honest how jobmarkets have been for 20 years... then it can again change at some point... ie sometimes work really hard, sometimes more time for families in longer span.
Most kids aren't planned for. And a lot of them turn out to be the most beautiful mistakes. I thought I knew what Love was.. Until I had my son and daughter. NOW I TRULY KNOW WHAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE REALLY IS. Because that's what I have for my kids.
So, I've been working with kids off and on since I was 16. Everything from babysitting to substitute teaching. And I feel pretty confident in saying we can't even take care of the kids we got! Before we start thinking about adding children, we need to be thinking about how we can take care of the kids that are already here.
This. It is the fact that parents are not taught nor encouraged to take care of their children properly. People in the past had known that but it seems that today's society made us forget about it.
Exactly!!! I am an immigrant and always thought US should have solid childcare and education system. Shocked by the reality!!! Yes, the US can keep attracting the smartest minds to move here, but it’s failing the offspring of its own people.
The world is better... maybe not in your country or city. Even the climate has good spots in the world. BUT if can't study...or get a good job or don't like kids... just forget it. The rental crisis is a problem... but there's some remote work nowadays.
@vidkoprek7057 I would attribute it more to Americans working too much. Americans work longer hours than any developed nation in the world. The more time parents spend at work means less time spent with their kids. In the past parents were more involved because they had the time to be involved.
As a guy who enjoys his freedom and independence, I understand these women and what they want from life. Kids can be difficult to raise. They are not pets that you can simply feed 3 times a day and take out for a walk. There's day care costs, school, college, etc... Don't let anyone pressure you into having kids you may not even want to have in the first place
Part of the problem is that not having a kids leads to societal collapse. It also doesn't take into account that you'll be setting yourself up for a pretty lonely life and the fact that women are reporting lower levels of happiness today compared to 50 years ago.
@@makingthestorybetterlive a lonely but free life or live tied down raising kids having to do the bulk of the work regardless if you have a job or not because men don't really like taking care of kids
@@marky19841000oney, I am a minority, I'm mexican American. So yeah, put your racism away. Also when I was working 12 hours, I had time to take care of my ailing mother and my pets
@@makingthestorybetterpeople in the west in general report being more unhappy than years ago. It also has to do with the fact that everything is way more expensive than 50 years ago (cost of a car, high school, college, cost of rent, housing). My parents had me 26 years ago, payed $9000 a semester in college, bought a car for a fraction of what I payed, payed rent for next to nothing. They understand that the world we live in now is not what they grew up in. It was also much easier for them to land a high paying job back in their day but their is so much competition so there are people who have been fighting to get a job that they could use to upgrade their life to start a family for years and cannot break into their respective fields. My parents generation had different rules, different gas prices lmao. Most of us do not make enough to put food in an extra mouth each month. And to just “get a better paying job” is not that simple or easy. That’s where I am right now. Not everyone has a family to help them raise children either. Having kids is a beautiful thing which is why when some one says they don’t want them, I listen and don’t try to change their mind because having kids is a serious job that you should do because you want it .
Honestly, as someone who lives in Japan I can really attest that it comes down to the cost of living. Kids are expensive. Dating, social media aside, the cost of living is making the dream of a nuclear family more and more unattainable.
If the cost of living were to decrease but social media influence (which also influences one's sexual selection) were to remain the same, would people who currently do not want to have children start to want them?
What's sad is people are being priced out of true happiness, while accepting the lie that things give us true happiness. My grandma lived a selfless life, and died with family surrounding her. SO many people are going to be on their death bed surrounded by nothing but a TV playing Netflix.
Always be suspicious of people who look down on the childless. It is profoundly disturbing that they would insist you need to breed in order to validate your life.
@@sds6303 How are they insecure? What does that have to do with insecurity? Usually the ones that put pressure are other family members that want the family line to continue or experience having kids around again.
The world is as messed as it is because a lot of people that have kids shouldn’t have had them. Most people lack the financial and emotional stability to raise a healthy, well adjusted future adult. Bringing a child into the world without the necessary resources is WAAAAAY more selfish than not having any children at all. Imagine bringing another human being into the world just for them to struggle.
My parent had me before they’re ready. My mom and dad sacrifice a lot and they always throw their regrets for their “unachieved goals” to me. When I was a kid, i always watch them being angry, blaming each other, and passive-agressively blaming me as their kid who “inhibit” their opportunity in life. That made me very depressed to a point i think it’s better for me to die. And the funny thing was, when I opened up to my mum that I wanted death, she said,” don’t you dare, you don’t know how much I spent and sacrificed for you.” So it’s always about them, not me. I love them because i know they crush their soul to give me the best education and environment growing up. But everytime i look back in how awful their life was, i’m afraid if at one point I’ll become like them and scarred my kids for life.
🫂 virtual hug (if allowed). What a nightmare for you, and you didn’t even ask to exist. I was a young mom and struggled with my child, but I try my best not to take it out on him or make him feel like it’s his fault. He didn’t ask to exist. I’m so sorry…💔
that's horrible bruh, if u really are scarred of scarring your children, it's safe to avoid having them to begin with unless it's your passion, but yes your parents are sick
@@purpleflowers92 I don't agree with that - they could've given you to the state at any time. They stepped up to the plate. I see a lot of entitlement from the west's kids these days. My parents had me young. Their protection failed. They struggled financially because of it. My mom went into a depression trying to keep up the work/child load. I never expected her to be perfect and recognize what she sacrificed for me.
One thing I really hate about the “duty” argument (the “you not having kids is putting the country at risk”) is that people expect people to feel a huge social responsibility for a society that they don’t really feel loyalty for. Why help a society when it doesn’t help you? Why feel that obligation?
I have no obligation to support a system that just wants to use and discard me. My children don't deserve a life sentence in this world, and neither do yours.
@@Riel_Rami Your just contributing to the downward spiral, people don't want to bring kids into a world without social services, but that only contributes to their downfall, which makes even less people want kids, its paradoxical, without significant changes to the very foundation of the current economy, this problem isn't gonna get solved, maybe delayed, but not solved.
If you are living in USA then yes, your country has no future, but if you are living in lets say Europe or Japan you should feel responsible for your country because some countries actually care about people not just money.
No one can afford to buy a house anymore ... who wants to raise three kids like that!? We've made a society that doesn't make families possible anymore
All very true. I just find it amusing that so many today go right to 'climate change', 'inflation/economy', 'careers' 'overpopulation', 'want to heal/find myself', pain of childbirth. I'm in my late 50's and back in the day my kid-allergic friends and I were just honest: simply don't like them, need them or want them. Period. The world has always had problems and challenges, we had lives, relationships, careers, goals, interests and bills. But now it seems people use these as a "socially acceptable" excuse shield so they're not accused of the predictable blowbacks: 'selfishness', 'immaturity', 'something's wrong with you' (esp. women), 'you'll change your mind, dear' (my fave), dismissed, vilified and demeaned.
True even if you’re married to start with there’s a high chance of ending up a single parent, living in a council flat. Working all hours just to pay bills and childcare, with very little time to spend with them and no money to take them anywhere. In the uk at least unless your a millionaire many young people are choosing not to risk marriage, divorce is too expensive. Finding a partner who wants kids is a massive challenge and who’s got time and energy to do the whole dating thing.Having kids is for the rich or those prepared to live a life of poverty. There’s also a high chance of having at least one kid with learning behaviours and or mental health issues and tackling that as a single parent is a huge undertaking.
The woman saying she needs to go healing on herself to make sure she doesn’t throw it on a kid is a beautiful response. I wish more people thought that way, because honestly by not healing their inner self from the traumas they may have experienced, they are only keeping the cycle going continuing the hurt. Instead of, creating a childhood for their children they DONT need to recover from. It’s a big deal to raise little humans, I wish more people took it seriously. This is coming from a mother of 2, raising kids is not for the weak. If you are not there, don’t cause another human to suffer. I’ve worked in the school system for 8 years, and have seen time and time again parents with alot of kids who NEGLECT and don’t take of their kids. It’s heartbreaking. All I’m saying is her response was mature! More people need to think that way before bringing innocent lives into the world.
it's not about thinking that way - it's that society puts traumas on people and tells them to deal with it - and doesn't explain how to not put that on kids. Society lacks family planning - so they just make it hard on individuals - who have to cope by themselves in an independent society. Thinking that way isn't going to help in this when we have no choice and it can be preventable.
@soniasara11 I'm talking about the school system - in my school - they explained how to avoid relationships and kids through abstinence and thought kids are horrible - so they made kids look as bad as possible to shame people out of having them. School should at least be impartial by explaining how to have kids the right way if you choose to.
This sounds like a good idea and responsible, but in reality is NOT. We always think we will be happier if I marry someone rich, find true love, finish my career goal, but the life never waits, and you will never be the version you wish you are. We are ALL unfinished product, always try to get better. Actually only Different challenges and true life experiences make you mature and wiser. Staying in comfort zone will not make you grow. We can't wait until we are perfect, because it will never happen. Like everything, it will be a work in progress. You have to " Jump In" and continue to learn, grow and manage at best as you can... 😺
What if the child is the healing factor? Also Trauma will always exist, with kids or no kids. So you might heal but eventually a new trauma might arise, does this mean you'll never have a kid cuz' of this way of thinking? I think this is just an excuse to not have a kid.
I think it is very unfair to make people feel like having a romantic partner or kids is the only path to happiness. Some people cannot achieve this in their lifetime for a number of reasons. There are other strong relationships you can build that have just as much value.
I agree with you. Not everyone is lucky enough to find that someone and being a single parent is very difficult. It will pay off in the end if your kid turns out nice but so many things could go wrong even though you’ve tried your best.
@@hoangyung2456 This is the thing that im afraid of. OF what the child would turn out to be like in adulthood like a criminal, r*pist, killer, murderer, abuser, bully etc. Like it must be hard if example: U raised and loved your child, but then she/he kills Someone or do very bad stuff. How would u cope,do or even react😟 and also many things why im too afraid to have Kids.
what if this, what if that, stop overthinking, we were created to have sex and make babies, stop trying to fight against nature, go with the flow and you'll realize relinquishing control is exactly what makes you happy
I grew up with a “traditional family” My parents got married at 21 They had me at 32 (fertility issues) My mom was a home maker and my dad worked in business analytics My parents constantly struggled with finances so my mom started working as a shop assistant (I’m an only child btw) My parents were very unhappily married but stayed together for me. When I was 11 my dad beat my mom so badly she ended up in hospital My mom left and she got divorced (they were married for 22 years) She struggled to make ends meet but we were safe from my father. I learned as I got older my mom wanted to go to medical school but was told to that being a wife and mother was more important…she never followed her dream and although she loves me, she never found true happiness or her purpose in life because of social expectations. I watched the unhappiness of my parents and hated the idea of “traditional gender roles” because of what they put my mother through. I want 1 child one day. But I will be financially stable and with a caring partner or I will not have a child. Children don’t deserve trauma because we were not thoughtful enough. Learn some child psychology and you will realize how easy it is to f@ck up an entire child’s life. Their entire personality and future is formed in 4 years. If something goes wrong in those 4 years nothing can fix it. Children aren’t toys, they are the future and having children irresponsibly is what puts the future in jeopardy, not underpopulation. Because when you have children irresponsibly you increase the risk of criminality, underperformance and poverty in the future.
I wish more people would see this aspect of life and children. I had very similar experiences, and feel similarly now. My mom had me in her late thirties (also fertility issues) and she also came from a very traumatic upbringing. My father had a similar upbringing, and struggled with addiction. They are no longer living, but their traumas are - in me. I don't want to pass them onto my children and so I will not have children until I can ensure that I won't. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!
@@driftingsakurablooms and thank you for sharing your experience! There are so many similar stories like ours and I hope we are able to learn from our experiences as a society and that less kids go through what we did
Tree roots cause damage to foundations. They can even crack a concrete foundation. There are two ways I know to get rid of them. The first one my dad told me when I was 8, "the way to get rid of roots is a simple process. Drill a hole here and there. Acquire Epsom salt, pour the Epsom salt in each hole, wait for it to fill the roots, wait for it to dehydrate the roots, wait for it to kill the roots. Now you won't have to worry about your foundation." The second one I learned in Freshman biology. It might take a little longer. Start by exposing your roots to sunlight and air. Watch them choke, wither, dry out, and eventually die. I like to think of tree roots as generational trauma. The foundation is where you are going to start your life. You can't build on sand, but you can turn that sand into concrete. But if there are roots already there then there is a problem to be addressed before you start building or else later down the line it will be a bigger issue. (Sorry if this doesn't make sense I've never shared this "poem" if it's even called that.)
@@chameleon28 So did mine. My dad has been working on his for a few years now and my Ma thinks it's normal to act the way she does. That is why I have made it a point to work on mine before I even get into a relationship of any kind because I'm scared of hurting the other person with harsh words.
14-year-old me: I don't want kids. 42-year-old me: I still don't want kids. Not everyone wants kids. This video appears to guilt people who never wanted kids to be parents. No one should be forced to raise an unwanted child. Edit: And every child deserves to be loved and wanted.
@@baccycones7644 Exactly! Every child deserves parents who truly want and love them. If this were a world where every child was truly loved and wanted, it would transform everything.
I know you won’t see this comment, but after years of looking at RUclips videos mindlessly, it is extremely refreshing to see someone using the platform to do such great journalism that provokes discussion respectfully, and civilly, including some topics that people may not want to discuss. Including all sides of the argument is something that many journalists simply do not do (including big corporations), and respecting other people’s opinions is even more rare. Thank you for the work that you do, it is needed in todays age.
this isn't great journalism......this left out so much information for the true reasons women are not having kids....what he presented was surface level. The real reason so many women don't want to get married and have kids is the unequal distribution of work in a marriage. Women are expected to work full time, do all the household chores and still take care of hubby. In addition, there are fewer benefits for women to get married and have kids. What is horrifying is the lack of empathy men have for their wives.....to let their wives do all of that work without lifting a finger is mind boggling and I can't believe women have put up with it for so long. Single child free women are the happiest subgroup, are getting wealthier faster than single men and are much healthier and happier than married women. Married women have shorter lifespans, have less wealth and are more likely to end up impoverished if they get a divorce. Ironically it is literally in women's best interest (health, wealth) if they stay single and child free. Until men become more egalitarian, none of the solutions will work and birth rates will continue to drop. If you want women to produce more children, make it so that having kids and getting married is more beneficial to them than remaining single and child free. Based on the statistics, marriage benefits men......not women. His statistic for happiness was based on the happiness for men, not women.
@@notyet2345 Oh... you want the govt to pay you to have kids bc life is all about money. That program already exists and it's called The Welfare Department.
I'm happily child free and I wish that all people who desire having children can accomplish their goal. We all deserve happiness and respect regardless of our decision on parenthood.
You're right. Just be happy to do what you want. They have children, go ahead. You don't have children, go ahead. I hate those comments either guilt tripping or forcing people to have children or not have them just because. Respect is all it takes.
I hope and you should be sure. Turning 30-32 and realizing that you want a husband and children (only not have neither) is a horror that I wouldn't wish on anybody. Too many women are falling into despair and loneliness because they experience the clock-ticking. Make sure it's the life you want, or you will regret it forever...
@@vladimirofsvalbard9477 I'm also a very happy woman close to my 50 who is not a mother and I don't regret it in ANY way. Save your paternalistic comments for yourself. We don't need them.
@@lunaazul1569 So why you so mad, watching this video a telling to stranger how happy you are for not having kids? Lol, I can smell your tears from the other side of the world.
@@txlyons2937Are you for real? Read that back and tell me you really believe that. It tells me that you had bad parents, and look if that's the case I'm sorry. Mine weren't great, not the worst either.
@@bugs389 Yes, I believe it with all my heart. There are *no* altruistic reasons to have children, especially these days. As for your comment about my parents, I am middle-aged now, and today my relationship with my parents is much improved. We're on good terms; but they know they're never getting any grandchildren from me.
Im a 26 year old woman. I am sterlised. I am born with mental health issues. I can sustain myself, the house and my partner, just barely. Sometimes I need some extra help as I cant manage if my week has been a bit busier than usual. I cant raise a child. Heck I am at massive risk to get even more screwed in the head if I do. The child doesnt deserve it, my partner doesnt deserve it, the kid doesnt deserve it.
Yeah, it’s really hard being extremely psychotic with a kid. I didn’t even know the extent of my mental illness until pregnancy/childbirth exacerbated it! It is very draining, and I’m sorry for bringing my child into a situation like this…I want to say that MAYBE it would be easier for you if you had an extremely supportive partner who would be the breadwinner, but that’s not even a guarantee, and postpartum psychosis setting in while you’re home alone with the baby could be dangerous. Anyways, I am sending prayers and good vibes to your mental health. It’s a struggle!
I'm 43 and never had desire to have kids. I've never been good with relationships so never married either. So many people told me I'd change my mind about wanting kids that I expected to want them after finding a partner. But later I decided I wanted to stay single for my own mental health. I saw my other friends having fun with dating and I only had stress and panic attacks. I decided that if I ever suddenly wanted kids I would do it on my own. But I never had the desire. There are other ways to contribute to society, so I don't think I am being selfish in any way. There are enough people out there having multiple kids that it doesn't matter if I don't have any. There's no rule that says I have to use my own kids for elder care, or that I have to have my own kids in order to hire elder care. I pay my taxes like everyone else and I am entitled to pay for elder care when it's needed. I absolutely love my life. I have a great social group. I travel. I have a great career, a nice house. Most people who have kids have said they envy my life at one point or another. The only people who seem to get mad at my lifestyle or threaten me by saying I'll regret it are lonely single men who seem to be threatened by a woman who does what she wants.
I say this on behalf of a lot of men. I don't mean no disrespect but we truly don't care if you exist or not. It's not selfish to want your desires. Enjoy your life and again we don't care. Women and kids are expensive. With how the divorce rate is at the moment. No man wants to lose their assets and pay to the other half and be financially crippled.
@@kroenkeout708 thank you for being honest. As a man my self i have the same views as you. Woman and kids are expensive. I wouldnt marry and have a child my self if i haven't financially stable. Growing up in poor household my father always see me and my siblings as a liability. It's really scars me hears how my father always complaining to my mother that he always work and work but couldn't buy or do the simple thing that he wanted because he have an obligation to feed us. I once see him crying like a 2 years old rolling and scratching the floor because he so feed up with it (it's kinda stupid he realized kids are liability after having 4 child 😅). And it's really scars me seing my mother have a mental breakdown because my father always use her as punching bag. One day my father leaves "go out for milk but never comeback" style 🤣 but thank god my mother have a good support system (our grandparents, her siblings and friend) and she finally managed to have her own career and success and change our live for good. No man or woman should supper because a society standart.
the problem is that enough people in the younger generations today have had such a rough time growing up that they wouldn't wish having to grow up in today's world on their worst enemy much less their own kid
I think thats cool its worst to have a kid and be a terrible parent its selfish have a kid only to save relationships and to people see you with more respect
Are kids having a rough time? Come on. We live in one of the most privileged eras. And honestly, kids today are a little too plugged into social media, a lot of which is fueled by misinformation and misery. An artificial picture of society is being sold by the media to make money. Step outside and you’ll realize life (for the most part) is not terrible.
@@catgarcia4583 no we don't. Poverty, unemployment, and wage minimums haven't been this bad since the great depression, it costs 4x as much work to get a house as it did 40 years ago what do you even mean?
@@jansonshrock2859 See you have a negative mindset. I had that too. That mindset led me to being a fat, single mom that lived paycheck to paycheck. But then I FINALLY graduated college, worked my way up, lost the weight, and am now teaching and making close to 60k. A ton of money? Not a ton, but totally enough. In a couple years, I’ll have enough to afford a house. In an amazing neighborhood? No. But there are plenty of options where I live in decent, working class neighborhoods. Stop being so doom and gloom. It’ll work miracles for you with a little bit of a “can-do” attitude. Oh, and whose fault is it if they live their life working at or near minimum wage? Minimum wage should be temporary. Go to school. Gain a skill. Join the military. Just whatever you do…stop whining and looking at all the reasons why you can’t. Or don’t! Your pessimism doesn’t affect me!!
@@catgarcia4583 I've been born into a socially and financially stable household, have good education and am determined to get a well paid and purposeful job, yet despite all this privilege, I still wish I had never been born. That "things aren't as bad" or that generations before us might have had it more rough doesn't matter. If you want to spare your child from as much pain and suffering as possible (which I assume every parent wants for their child), the best you can do is to not give birth to them in the first place. The asymmetry of pleasure and pain by David Benatar explains this further, if you're interested.
Ye childfree people more responsible because they didn't reproduce another generation of biorobots which don't know how to live this life and what to do
"I see these people not wanting kids very responsible" Just watch old people respond to cuts in Medicare and SocSec when there are not enough workers to fund them
I think before we discuss bringing children into the world. We should first ask ourselves: "How can I pave the way for these children's future and provide them a good life wherein they want to continue living and want to have a fulfilling life?" I think this begins a discussion that's more productive in addressing child care, fertility, suicide, and population. And on a personal level, I think it can challenge us to be better people for our own children and the children around us. :)
I agree, instead of governments asking "why people aren't having kids?" they should be asking the right questions - Why are young people feeling so unsafe to have kids? - Why young people can't have a house or a car these days? - Why raising a child is so expesive that so many people are rethinking the idea of ever having kids? - Why we (the government) can't provide a enviroment, a society, where kids can grow and develop healthly? - Why we can't provide the conditions that people need in order to be able to procreate? Etc...
I'm choosing not to have kids because I dont want them to go through the suffering I have gone through. I really resent my parents for having me and often wish I never existed, despite choosing to still keep going but i would never want to possibly pass on my mental health issues to another person.
The obsession with "not enough people" is all about economics. Not the environment, not quality of life. No one should have kids if they don't want them. And no, if you truly don't want them, you will not regret it.
@@jazzxgray You want people to have kids they dont want because they might be lonely at 80 ? There plenty of parents in nursing homes who barely get visits. Kids are not a guarantee.
I am 48yo and child-free. I sometimes wonder what life might have been like with a child (there's no way on this earth I would've agreed to more), but I do not regret not having children. I'm selfish with my time and energy, and genuinely believe I would have resented having a child. No child should grow up resented (feeding ground for neglect and abuse) and no woman (or man) should feel trapped. I wish more people really thought about the consequences of having children unplanned, unprepared, or emotionally incapable.
@@Cobalt1520the only point you commented on was unprepared. Your point is rediculous hey you are unprepared go get pregnant just to find out sounds like a wonderful plan. Rediculous.
At least you're honest enough to say that you are a narcissist, immature and egocentric. Most women who don't want to have children are not that honest.
emotionally incapable? I feel like I hear this a lot...how are adults emotionally incapable...life in well developed countries is easy and nearly devoid of stressors.
I'm 25 and desperatly want children (I know I'm still young). All my life I just wanted to be a mom, I thought I'd have kids by 25, latest 27. But its difficult to find men that are emotinally mature and who want a big family... dating has become so challenging. Now even if you want to be a stay at home mom, all women now need to work because we can't rely on men to support us. It's a double edged sword, cause now I work so much, I don't have time to date someone... it's like we can't really win.
Dating now is all about what one person can get instead of getting to know and love someone. I've also had hopes of having kids and being a father eventually, but yeah, I agree that it seems more and more bleak.
I know you didn’t ask for advice (I’m probably going to get shit for saying this)but as a woman myself I’m going to encourage you to consider finding a slightly older man. Younger men aren’t all bad but they can be a little immature. I grew up pretty sheltered and went to a private school. When I started dating I realized that a lot of men didn’t have the values my father instilled in me growing up. You will probably need to join some kind of club so you can find someone with similar interest. Horseback riding, skiing, book clubs even church is a good place to look. Nice guys are not found in bars, clubs , or dating apps. Nice men do exist but you need to know where to look. It will also help to be nice your self, not a overweight purple haired feminist That hates men. Get in shape. Join a group that has similar interest to you and don’t rule out men that are 10, 15 or even 20 years older. Many men in this age group have been crapped on by ex wives and are a little jaded. You will need to be nice and patient if you find someone and don’t be too clingy to quickly. Be nice and you’ll find someone. My friend is with someone 20 years older. They are both happy. Best of luck!
@@happygolucky1244 I can understand a 5 year age gap (maybe 10 years too) but 15 to 20 years is ridiculous. Also she doesn’t have to lower her standards for some divorced man because I know those same men would never go for divorced women
In order for a woman to want to have kids she NEEDS a partner who loves, provides, and nurtures her so she's available and nurtured herself enough to put the attention into having and raising children. Without the man supporting the equation the prospect of doing it alone is beyond what most would intentionally get themselves into.
"In order for a woman to want to have kids she NEEDS a partner" Young females already limit their ambitions for a child and has sex with dozens of mostly strange males well before this ideal partner shows up
@@GK-op4oc that's not even true. Most women aren't sleeping with dozens of strangers. Why aren't any of these men leading things forward sharing their desire for a relationship, marriage, family? The onus of moving things forward falls on men. They pursue, propose, and initiate. Kind of hard to be a girlfriend, wife, and mother if men aren't asking for these things from women. It's hardly a wonder women "prioritize" their careers when men are failing to establish anything meaningful. What else is there?
well its cause men were taught to get a body count cause women want a man who know what to do so guys dont want to put that out there cause they figure i have to be with like hundred women before she will like me so im just going to pump and dump and women took the guys who said anything just to get in there pants as we are only going to go for the guys that can sweet talk us and have that bad boy energy which made more guys become like that so i know so many guy that want that but cause the women kinda just ignore him cause he the one to want to respect them and wait for that right moment they are off put by it cause every other guy wanted to get in her pants right away and she had make him play a game to get it where she just passes on him it not all on the men it on the women like everyone thinks it just oh the perfect guy will just walk up and day one you will know day one and everything will just fall into place and youll live happy ever after is not the reality both sides nee to own up and realize that it take work to have a relationship and it not just going to magically appear
I'm 28 and unfortunately childless. I want kids. I want to be a mother. I just have to find the man who will be a good husband for me. I want to learn the selflessness that comes from being a mother. I want to learn the patience and understanding that sacrificing and serving someone else comes with. A healthy family is more precious than any material possession or other experience. I feel rather passionate about that.
You're running out of time so may I suggest you look less for a good fit for you n more for a good fit for the future kids good dad's seldom are perfect partners ,I should know I'm a father of 3 ,I'm not the perfect man/partner as I'm not a simp or a yes man, but I'm a damn good dad .
The cost of having kids is insane. Just go to the store and just look at how much formula and diapers cost. It's not that people don't want to have kids, its that people don't have the money to have kids.
@@juicemane7655 As long as fed min is $7.25 an hour, you'll see a lot of people working full time who qualify for benefits. How do you know a random customer doesn't have a job?
You can easily say that's expensive, when you can freely profiteer off of the children of others when you get older, through society and your social system. But if children only provide for their own families, like in the way older days, then you'll start seeing the even bigger cost of not having children.
I have a 6 months old baby (our first) and yes, it is VERY difficult but rewarding. I am not stressed in taking care of her. What I’m stressed about daily is not working (not being able to return to work or continue where I left). The other day an elder woman told me “Why did you resign from your job???” with a stern expression in her face when I told her I had to because of a pregnancy-diagnosis (that would have affected the baby had I not opted to take an early leave), the delivery, and childcare responsibilities. There is so much that is expected from a woman compared to a man when it comes to having children and raising them. The woman needs to carry and deliver a “healthy” baby, take care of that baby, do house chores (cook, wash plates, clean, do laundry etc etc) and ALSO WORK. Because if not, the budget will be tight, and people will always have many things to say. If you don’t work, to take care of the baby or homeschool, you’re LAZY. You prioritize work, you’re NOT A GOOD MOTHER AND WIFE. I know I shouldn’t be thinking what others will say anymore but try hearing that everyday (and even from you in-laws) and you’ll start doubting and even hating your life. I love my baby. She is my world. My life. BUT PEOPLE SHOULD JUST MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS and let women do what they think are best for them. Stop being judgmental when you yourselves don’t know how difficult it is to have children.
Nah, sounds more like you resent that your husband is not earning enough for you to be a stay at home wife, not helping you around the house like you want, not sticking up for you against comments your in laws tell you (that you perceive as bad) and all this makes you overly sensitive to others' innocent questions/comments perceiving them as "stern" or mean. This makes you generalize about men and cry about how good they have it while women suffer.
@@alexialira3839 I suppose you are correct. Guess I should just fight with my husband every single day God has made and tell my in-laws and other people to F off. Better maybe I should just disappear from this Earth. While you feel so comfortable typing in your room being a keyboard warrior and telling people what their reality is. What a sad, wretched life I indeed have.
Finding a mate who won't bail when life gets hard with children is one in a billion these days. Add that to the downward trend of culture, inflation, mental illness and a lack of help...my child would deserve better than what I could provide them.
@@xejelah LIFE IS RISK, you risk your life every single day,when you go out when you use a knife,the real term for risk is FEAR you CANNOT live in fear or you have NO LIFE AT ALL!
@@raymorphis5714 sure there are, but only a few. Their are billions of nice women for them out there. Not every women will have the luck to get a good one. I definitely stopped looking for one. Way to much work and the risk that he will turn on you even when you thought he’s a decent guy is extremely high.
My parents made it look miserable and I was a good kid. They worked and complained nonstop. No thanks. I would only have a kid if I could guarantee they wouldn’t have to join the rat race.
_"You'll never know until you try"_ is an argument I hear so many times from people; the more it's said, the quicker it dawns on me that those who live by this creed are crabs in a bucket. You'll never know until you try, then you're stuck with a growing human child. The world is so obsessed with childbirth and child-rearing that they think being single and/or child-free is a sad and lonely existence. CF people still go outside bro. Having kids is something I've gone back and forth with myself over, but the older I get, the prospect of not having them grows on me. I'm sure kids spice life up and make moments more precious for parents of all ages, races, etc., but there's something tranquil about getting up in the morning and being able to do what you want without having to sacrifice a couple decades of your life for that privilege. As for regrets, life is full of them. The only thing you can do with regrets is acknowledge them and move on. It's part of life.
Totally agree with you - I find that “you never know until you try” thing really annoying. It’s not like going into a shop to buy some clothes and then having the time to decide if you like it or not. It’s a kid! A whole person who is going to be completely dependent on you for years. I don’t have to try everything to know it’s not for me. I know I wouldn’t want to go jump into a well (even though I’ve never tried). I don’t need to do it to know I won’t like it. And yes, exactly. Life is full of regrets and having kids is such a big decision that will engulf everything else that regretting not having one is basically romanticising what could have been (if I ever come to regret it that is). I’m sure bringing us back to reality will help - kids are a 24/7 job and if we don’t want that, it’s nothing to regret.
I am a 52 year old man and never had kids, never wanted one and do not regret this choice. This discussion about the sustainability of the anthropocene is completely ludicrous. Have children if you are at a comfortable place in your life and want them. As far as i am concerned this is a personal choice period!
I think mental health awareness has also made an impact on why people are not having kids this days. The fact that people realized how trauma passes from one generation to another and that many decide to look for therapy to feel better has led to plenty of people, myself included who don't wanna have kids or won't have them until they have healed a little bit from all the carried trauma. For me is the fear that the depression that runs in my family and I clearly have reflects badly if I have a kid in the shape of a postpartum depression that leads to self harm or that if it is not tackled I can mentally hurt my children like my grandparents did to my parents and they did with me without knowing it.
Although it sounds reasonable at first but kids help to overcome stuff too. Children advance yourself too because for once in you are not only thinking about yourself.
People are too extreme about themselves. Like this girl at 39 still "figuring herself"... At some point you got to slow that mental breakdown and come back down to earth. Do some sport and stop overthinking it change the brain chemical and makes the mind so much more happier and positive and everything become easy and possible...
@@Corey91666 if you're expecting kids to be your "medicine" or "therapist" then you're fucked. not saying that the phenomenon you're describing can't happen, but how many cases of that actually do happen and it's not just the kids getting neglected and trauma gets passed down onto the kid cuz the parent had no business having one.
@@xaevius5319 what im talking about is the ability to realize that you are less important than your child and that you must get your shit together now to care for your child. Thats what im talking about. Most people lack self reflection. But a child can help with that. That being said i dont think you should get kids to solve your own personal issues.
It blows my mind that you don’t have hundreds of thousands of followers. Your content is amazing. The open-minded interviewing style, the questions, the research, the commentary, the nuance - thank you for producing these videos.
I think the decline is due to more and more people being unhappy with their lives and unwilling to force a child to experience the pain that they've had to endure.
I feel like people focus on the “hard” part of having children and make their decision based on that, but everything in life has “hard” parts. Relationships, jobs, friendships etc. Everything has its moments. But the love of your child, the moments of seeing them grow, witnessing the world through their fresh eyes - to me, those balance the hard parts. For some people, going out after work balances a hard work day. For me, watching my son play or when he randomly hugs me balances the hard parts of parenthood. You just gotta figure out which “hard” you’re willing to deal with. For me, having kids is the kind of “hard” I want in my life. It has more value to me then the other “hard’s” that are out there.
I think the difference is when we face personal challenges, they are that. Personal. My decisions I make will affect others very little. Having a child, mistakes I make will affect the entire outcome of how that child turns out.
*>> I feel like people focus on the “hard” part of having children and make their decision based on that, but everything in life has “hard” parts* So, basically, every parent is a Dark Souls enjoyer.
My perspective is different. I see it from the child's perspective more than my own. Will the child be happy here? based on depression statistics, and all the bullshit I see happening in this world, I don't know. I'm willing to deal with the hardships though, but simply through adoption, rather than bringing someone here.
The thing for me is, you have to find a good partner to have a child with. And then be able to afford said child or children. Kids are so expensive nowadays that it is why many people don’t have kids or they have one maybe two kids. Besides this world is so screwed up, some people don’t want to bring more people into it. I also do think it is perfectly fine to be child free. But yes we are running into a population crisis where there is more old people than young people.
@@buu.888 facts dude🤣🤣 people just don't know how to budget, I'm a gen Z and they make it seem harder then it is🤣🤣just make more than 19$+ plus and you'll be fine it sounds crazy but it's true 🤣
@@yung829 The majority (57%) of U.S. adults are currently unable to even afford a $1,000 emergency expense, yet you think most of them can afford to have kids? Lol.
Both sides need to understand that the same cookie cutter life style isn’t for everyone. I’ve seen way more parents shame people for not having kids than vice versa. People see those without kids as lesser and a waste of space. Not everyone is fit to be a parent. With so many trash parents out there you would think someone making the mature decision to not force themselves to be a parent when they don’t think they’re fit, would be a blessing. Don’t shame people for being parents and don’t shame people for not being one. Leave people alone.
Completely agree, some people should definitely not be parents, but a lot of people don’t see themselves being parents, almost entirely because they cannot give up the lifestyle that they live. You need to grow up and mature to be able to take of children. Saying you won’t have kids because you don’t think you’d be a good parent is not mature
@@aqwluknessmon you make an interesting point. If not wanting children is because people don’t think they will be fit to be a parent because maybe they lack the maturity in whatever regard that may be, I think that’s commendable. While I would say, almost all parents felt that way and ended up being great parents…still understandable nonetheless. However, if the reason why you don’t want children is because you want to travel or “be able to do whatever I want whenever I want” and still preaching that past mid twenties…I’d say that’s immature. Or course that’s just my opinion. Because like you said, they can’t look past lifestyle…you are absolutely correct. And it’s very sad to see society decline in this way. In my experience, more women are shamed for having children and staying home than those who choose not to have any children at all. They’re seen as “successful” and “contributing to society” where as SAHM’s are viewed as “putting women back 50 years” as if to imply some sort of oppression. Also, can’t go a day without a “look at my amazing life, I do what I want because I don’t have kids” post. How many moms do you see posting “look at my amazing life because I chose to raise the next generation over a consumerist driven lifestyle” Again, just my opinion/experience.
Father of three here. Children definitely take up a lot of time and energy, but they it's also incredibly rewarding--though my wife deserves most of the credit for that. Helping them to become critical thinkers that can articulate their thoughts, participate civilly in society, and work towards their goals has been a beautiful journey. My career is fun, but is nowhere near as rewarding as raising youngsters to grow into their personalities and talents.
I think it's easier for Men to take the step to become a parent. For women it's more than money and time, it's about your body changing, the breastfeeding, how uncomfortable the pregnancy is, the pain of giving birth, giving up for some time to your career and goals, and after all, that you partner can literally leave you and you will have mostly the entire responsibility. Go check out how many single moms who don't get the necessary from their children's father. Most people who don't want to have kids are actually thinking about the kid. Most people who have kids are actually thinking about them and how kids will benefit them so how is that being selfish?
Men get women pregnant and that is it. They barely soend time with their kids and the responsibility of raising the kids falls on the mother while all the dad does is pay for stuff in many cases.
@@turquesa_8056 Don’t put it like that. Father have to work in order to bring the income for the mother and kids to survive. I swear people love to paint the dad as the bad guy. This is one of the reasons why so many women are single moms. They blame the father for things out of his control. Communication is key to a good relationship but talk about her relationship to everyone but the person in the relationship expecting them to just know.
A lot of single moms are single because they couldn’t communicate with their man, or work through the hard times. Marriage is for better or for worse till death do you part. A lot of women running from their marriage when life gets a little hard. The data doesn’t lie. Divorce rate is 50% and out of the 50% 80% of marriages are ended by women. Single moms are also single moms because they choose bad men. Like the RUclips video says. 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of guys. Those guys don’t want to be fathers, they have a buffet of women to have fun with.
There's something important that I'd like to add, I've seen elderlies who feel alone despite having kids. If my partner and I decide to stick to be childfree or non-parent, we will do our best to cultivate & maintaining healthy, real relationships with our friends, extended family, and community.
There's ways to build a community of support without family by connecting with others locally. Being childfree or single doesn't mean you'll end up lonely.
I’m confused by your statement. There can be many reasons why the elderly can feel alone. Maybe their husband is no longer with them. Many elderly people don’t have the same friends they’ve had. They’re reflecting their life. I want kids but I don’t expect them to always be there for me. Plus you’re already supposed to want to have meaningful relationships being a parent or not
I’d rather not have kids and regret it later on in life than have kids and regret having them… I’m not too keen on pregnancy and if I ever decided to have children it would be adoption … there are so many children already out there that need parents - there is no need to have your own tbh
Me and my wife decided well and before we got married that we both did not want kids, and the older i get, the more sure i am that it was the right choice. We cannot afford a house, the world is inching closer to nuclear war, climate change is an issue not to be ignored, and corporations find every way they can to screw over the populace, same can be said of governments. I don't know how i would react to find out my son or daughter got scammed out of all their money and have to move back home. I don't want to find out if i inherited my fathers temper and see fear in my kids eyes. Sure me and my wife wont have anyone to take care of us when we are old, but i also think that is a very selfish motivation to have kids. The list goes on with us, we are in our mid 30's now and are happy just being with each other and doing what we like when we can, while also just surviving in a world quickly becoming more unstable, expensive and predatory. Also, the concern with population collapse is really that our cities and civilizations have grown to a size that in order to maintain them as they are we need to equal replacement of the populace, and in order to grow them, we need more people. But a constricting of the population is not necessarily a bad thing, people will just have to adapt to living with smaller populations and smaller cities. The increase in vacant homes could be used to house the homeless even. Its not like NOBODY is having kids, just less than historically we have and each has their own reasons for it.
Gen, you're doing an incredible job!!! I've been wanting to ask thought-provoking questions for a few years now, but because of fear, I haven't even tried it. You're very inspiring!!
@@wheatstonebridge funny though that people think so badly about todays world. History-wise, which period was better than todays age? In fact, live has never been easier than it is today.
@@yume7335 Respectfully disagree. Just look at the boomer generation who had way better job opportunities than us. Could earn and save up money and raise a family on one income. Majority of us milliannials and gen z will never own a house.. all we own is studentloan debt until we die. Sure we have it easier technologically but quality of life has declined. Not to mention environmental issues that will only get worse from now on. And you can argue if the internet was really that good for us. We're glued to our phones 24/7 and are way more aware of the world's problems that make us depressed. I miss the 90s that felt more real to me and the problems seemed small. Just a few examples. My main reason why I will not have kids is because I never got to enjoy my childhood and I have a lot to catch up to.. too much trauma to heal from as well. I can barely take care of myself, I would never wish my struggles to a child. Not until the world and system change.
@@Kamitube For the "boomer generation", war was essential. And I don't think a war on a scale we had back then is an option. as bad as you think it is,.. living standard in average is better, child mortality or mortality in general is at its lowest, mobility at its highest, traveling to hawai, bali etc.? affordable now, back then only for a few rich people... environmental issues? the issues beijing faces now (massive air pollution) was a problem in every bigger city in the west back then.. I kinda get the feeling that you compare rich or better situated family to nowadays average people. Anyway, I respect your decision to not have kids. Still I believe our world is a lot better than a lot people think it is and every generation will face its own problems... since as you said yourself, phone 24/7 make us more aware of the world's problems,... but also, a lot of news make it look worse than it actually is (sensational journalism)...
@@andrewjensen1955 I never said it was easy for everyone, but it's easier for most people in average. A slave population? What are you talking about? Cherrypick history? I'm actually not cherrypicking here, as I said, that todays generation has generally speaking best living standard in avarage compared to every other period in human history.
My opinion is people wanted to see their kids suffer like they did with kids , to show why it was hard for them . I say run with your wants .no one elses
That what some people would like us to believe but my time came and went and I have zero regrets, a lot of times I hear people say I would regret. It it was men who wanted to control me through having kids with them and got angry I could just walk away from thier bs! I and all thechild free women I know are so happy we didn’t have a baby with any of the men we used to know! Blessed!
Didn't want kids, I was from a broken home. Then chose to have one at 31 because I finally felt like I was ready. I asked my husband if I seem different since having our daughter. He said that I "exude love now" Have kids or don't have kids it's a personal choice
I went from wanting 5 to wanting 0. Let me explain why: I grew up with two sisters (one is my twin) and up till when I was 19 I wanted 3-5, I was thinking how much fun it would be for the kids to have siblings to play with, just like we did. When I was 19 my mom gave birth to my baby sister, soon after her 20 years relationship to my stepdad broke down and they got divorces. My older sis lived in another country at that time and my twin was always out having fun. I saw how much my mom was struggling with everything, including depression and although she never asked me I stepped in to help her whenever I could; feeding, bathing, changing dippers etc. After all she's my mom and my best friend. I saw how much hard work it cost to rasie a child and I wasn't even the primary care giver. As selfish as it might sound to some I decided that being a mom is just not for me. I love my little sis, who just turned 14. I also love my freedom, sleeping in on days off, not having to work certain hours or depend on somebody to help. I am child free by choice, however I still do like children.
I also had to be a mom as a child to my siblings, and it made me never want to have children. I broke down and had one because my husband wanted one. It’s still a lot of hard work. I love my child. I wouldn’t suggest anyone on the fence have kids or be forced to.
@theultimatereductionist7592 im childfree, but im certainly not anti-nalalist. There's nothing wrong with anti-natalism, though. Please dont conflate the two as most childfree are not anti-natalist.
That is incredibly selfish, but at least you're honest. It's our job/duty to bring the next generation of humanity into the world. You don't need 5, but you should at least replace yourself.
Not selfish its a choice. Not a lot of people feel connected to parenthood and that's fine too. To each his own, but it makes sense to not have children when you do not feel neither mentally, physically, financially etc., capable to do so.
And imagine now being not just childfree, but childhate as i am. And all what i see is stupid people make stupid comments and don't think at all. Think they can fix themselves by having kids think kids not expensive and other shit
@Lisa Rob this is beautiful 💙 everyone on this path called life will find experiences that they thought that they wouldn't have due to the elements of life but I'm glad that you have this experience.
@@godofdeath8785 belive it or not, there are some parents who do a 180⁰ after swearing that they wouldn't have kids. To each his own i guess. But it would be quite a gamble to think that having a child would solve all your problems🙃
@@commentori truth that its not solve any problems like its only make more problems as and relationships. But like i don't mind people reproduce or make relationships i met some beatiful people in my life and don't matter how much i can find humans obnoxious and unpleasant deep inside i think about them as about beatiful beings. But i really think if majority wouldn't reproduce this world would be much better place. And ye i know that i am as well can be obnoxious and unpleasant for someone
As a Nigerian woman living in Nigeria I have never met a woman who didn't want kids. Whenever I say I don't want children people look at me like I'm crazy,they say things like "all women must have children"😂😂, "I've never heard a woman say something like this", " stop cursing yourself cos you will regret these words" 😂😂, "stop trying to adopt the white man's culture"😂😂. It's crazy y'all. If a woman is childless, unmarried or both most people assume she's suffering and on the verge of self harm 😂😂🙆
@@autumxxleaves4186 In Africa lack of education sex education and birth control is a huge problem and that’s why they are overpopulating and people have no idea the resources will be running out in Africa poverty will keep increasing and more and more people are going to start to be a burden for the corrupt government 😭😭😭
@@vitaminprotein7786 oh mister educated indian with soon to be a world leading nation in population with a billions of people , that's greater than the whole continent of Africa 55 countries population combined , thanks for your education 😂 Europe and thier education is going extinct in a hundred years , there will be no more white people walking on this earth , sad truth
@@darrentoothill4947 That's wrong, people like musk are just scared because third world country are making more kids and white people are making less kids, he's afraid of white people being a minority. Global population is growing, you cannot deny that
@@darrentoothill4947 From the perspective of the corporate media. They're worried they and their "donors" won't have as much expendable and cheap labor in the future. That's what it comes down to. Some make their argument knowing this, others are less self-aware. But in the end, what they're saying is we can't maintain the status quo with this change in population. But then, is the status quo really worth preserving if people come to the conclusion that they don't want new people to suffer in it?
@GamingAndChill because neither my husband nor me wants me to work. We have traditional Christian beliefs and we both believe my role as a wife and mother is in the home caring for our family. My husband is the head of the household and part of him receiving my submission and respect is he protects and provides for us. Not everyone needs to scribe to your values and beliefs to have values or a way of life that is valid.
As a person with 2 kids and pregnant with a 3rd I am GLAD people are choosing to not have kids. It’s a lot of work. My sister has chosen not to have kids and is having a wonderful life. I hate thinking people should feel forced to have kids. You can be happy without kids. I was. I don’t regret my kids at all but it’s a huge commitment.
I’m sure there are positives and negatives. Don’t look at your sister as having a better life than yours. More importantly don’t use your kids as a hinderance or excuse, live your life to the fullest(doesn’t mean selfish).
@@rajeshrdrd8036 You will find that people do not often love or embrace things in their lives that they never wanted in the first place. That includes children.
that's what i'm saying; it's not a contest! each choice has its positives and negatives, and people just need to choose what's best for themselves. i'm in my late 30's, and very happy i chose to stay childfree.
As a woman, I don’t really want kids. I spent my life raising my sisters so I no longer want kids and want some “me” time to do my own things. As someone from a family with a ton of kids, I know what it’s like for mothers and fathers to make sacrifices for them. Once you give birth to a human being, you have to teach it morals and set it on a straight path so that they don’t become another monstrous product of rotten society. But that is an extremely difficult process since not every child learns their lesson. So I no longer want to go through that journey ever again lmao.
As a 31 y/o woman, I knew at around age 12 kids didn't appeal to me. I kept being told I'd change my mind when I got older, nope, if anything it's even MORE unappealing lol. For me, I can barely survive myself. Rent is over 3k, food cost is outrageous, gas is almost $5 a gallon.. how do I add another person into the mix? People have kids they can't afford and their kids pay the price by being forced into poverty from birth. It's not fair.
Blue haired girl summed it up for you pretty well. ‘That would limit the amount of money I could spend on me!’ My grandparents all had kids when they were completely impoverished, and their kids all turned out successful, independent, and well adjusted. Don’t confuse self absorption with virtue.
@@Noplayster13 its not self absorption to choose not to suffer. it isn't selfish to force poverty onto others. but is is horrible to tell others they're horrible for not wanting something especially when they aren't harming anyone else.
@@MohammedAli-hl4mr They are harming me by destroying my civilization. Upside down birthrates lead to societal collapse. Strange that this is the wealthiest, most pampered, most spoiled generation, and yet they are the only one in history that can’t reproduce. Give me a break.
@@MohammedAli-hl4mr Nobody in America is actually poor, maybe the Native Americans on reservations. Even the poorest Americans are incredibly blessed by historical standards. Kids do not care either. They don't even know they're poor.
There are so many people who have kids who shouldn’t be parents. Imagine all the psychological trauma on a kid knowing they were a mistake, or a child born of rape, or their parents are drug addicts, have severe mental illness, are sociopaths, etc.
The people that shouldn’t be parents… shouldn’t hold jobs either. That’s where y’all get it wrong. They have major deficiencies period. Y’all try to act like they are great but just not ready. No.
Those scenarios do exist, but the child is not doomed. I suggest looking into those who have overcome. There is hope Jesus is alive✝️♥️ Truly look into those that have overcome.
@@GodSoLoved.YeshuaAs a Christ follower here is where I stand on this matter. I don’t think everyone should be a parent. Those who are incapable should not.
I don’t get how anyone can get mad at people not wanting kids. Those people who get mad aren’t going to raise or feed those kids. They will just sit online and gasp when someone with no parental instinct is a bad parent. And while having or not having that instinct shouldn’t excuse poor parenting, it can contribute to it. Also, plenty of people who want to be child free are good with children, but they don’t want that in their lives, and that’s also okay. It’s so dumb to be upset at someone else not wanting kids.
Misery loves company, they get mad because I (a woman) invalidate the struggle they went through with their kids by saying I don’t want kids. Almost like slap in the face when I say i don’t want it. They didn’t have that choice so you shouldn’t either. I think they didn’t know why they did it except because of societal pressures. They’re mad I stood my ground instead of listening to others and they didn’t. If you ask a lot of the older woman, they all say they had them because they were told or that was what was expected of them. Not because they personally wanted them.
They get mad because not wanting to reproduce is going against simple natural instincts! Every live form on this planet tries to have offspring in their lifetime because it’s biologically hardwired but because humans have evolved so much that different mentalities can change whatever we are hardwired to do! I understand people who don’t want kids but at the same time I also understand people who can’t fathom the same thought
I’ve never met someone who says they don’t want kids, be good with children, in fact they seem to hate them and are type of people who want childfree zones
@@Quebonitoeslobonito123 nah I get out plenty, I walk, around 7 miles every day. I’m just stating what I see and I’ve seen and spoken to people (women) who are childfree and seem to just despise kids, like there are genuinely people out there persisting that Disney have Adult only days in their theme parks. Disney is for CHILDREN. Period. And if seeing children enjoying themselves in a park DESIGNED for them upsets that much then you need help. Most people with this mentality seem to be those “childfree and proud” people. I even had the the liberty to speech to one in real life at my college. It was a painful experience.
Nah man, if he starts pumping these out faster their quality will inevitably decline. I'll take an excellent video once a month over a dozen mediocre ones every week
I don't think that'll make any difference anyways. From the moment we let people have a choice to have kids (which I agree with) then there will always be people that just won't want to have kids no matter how much support they'll get. Having children is mostly a cultural issue and not really an economic one. There's never an "ideal" time to have kids where everything is set in stone. I guess in the past, religions got round that problem by genuinely making it as a "duty" and persuading even the poorest by saying that women especially will be rewarded the most by God if they produce an offspring. Nowadays, with the rise of secularism and atheism, people have kids because they just want to and it is no longer framed as a duty.
I believe you also need kids in your community. Being an uncle or auntie can be more suited for some people than having your own children. Parents also need a community to raise their children. No one can take care of children 24/7 for at least 18 years all by themselves.
Thanks for watching and would love to hear your thoughts:
- what’s the bigger threat: overpopulation vs population collapse?
- And do you want kids, why or why not?
And for more frequent uploads, check out my second channel - GEN+:
youtube.com/@moreGEN
P.S. - all y’all noticing the squirrel got the attention span of a squirrel…pay attention to the damn video
lmao jk
The reality is that population collapse is a bigger threat than overpopulatiuon at the moment.
You can stop over population. How do you stop a collaps. Its a self feeding system
There's no way to know really or there's no 1 answer to it all.
In the end, it depends on circumstances, like food availability, arable land, etc.
Just like someone afraid of having kids or wanting to have kids, it usually boils down to their financial/home circumstances.
Population collapse is a bigger threat, especially in western countries.
Hell yeah I want kids. It brings extra meaning and joy to life. But not right now, too young still
America: Let’s charge people an arm and leg for a college education so they can get an entry level job that require a doctoral degree with 3 years of work experience.
Also America: why is the workforce so low and people aren’t having kids?!
get
a
trade
job
You can blame this on the government- well that and getting useless degrees.
It cost at minimum 13k just to birth one.
@@abbemartensson3850 some of us prefer to have a job we actually care about
@@abbemartensson3850not everyone should get a trade job we need people for other jobs too lol
The worst thing to do is forcing people who don't want kids into having kids. They're going to resent the kids forever and the kid is gonna have a tough life ahead.
Yeah nobody can force you to have children unless you are R & even then there’s options. Don’t have kids. Just don’t bash women who decide to have kids.
Breeders want childfree people to be as miserable as they are.
@@AhminaIsmael it’s not that person bashing women that choose to have kids. It’s you breeders who bash us child free people for choosing to live child free and not choosing to breed. It’s painfully obvious that breeders are jealous of child free people because we get to do whatever you want when we want because we are mature enough to know what we want and not make a mistake and have kids that you aren’t ready for or you don’t really want, and end up regretting.
@@Colony08 I’m not reading all of this. If it weren’t for us “breeders” you wouldn’t exist. You’re disrespectful, and you make being a mother in this world even harsher. Do what you want to do, don’t have children… but stop being disrespectful to people whom chose to. Nobody cares that you’re child free, truth be told… if I wanted that life, I would have chosen it.
@@Colony08 I don’t even know what your gender is supposed to be… I’m definitely not jealous. You have such a strange way of looking at life… anybody can choose to be child free , even women with children lol. If women are staying… it’s because they want to. You want women to be jealous of whatever you are….. but it’ll never be the case
I think if someone doesn’t want to have kids, it shouldn’t be forced.
I grew up in a home where I wasn’t wanted and, as a result, I have horrendous psychological scars which I am in therapy for.
Don’t force this and don’t pretend that having kids is easy.
i dont think anyone couldnt argue with that. i believe the argument some make about this topic is for the people who want children but prioritize work before like its actually going to fulfill them more then having a family. no on will care what you did when you were younger, but having a family around is something else.
Right, but we also shouldn’t be telling young people to not have kids, which is what is happening right now.
It shouldn't be forced. However, it shouldn't also so easily be accepted NOT to have kids. Some of the reasons people don't want children are ridiculous and show that they aren't thinking long term.
Absolutely. And people should also be sure to have everything a kid would need before having the kid too... but in reality it’s very different.
Do you think 6 weeks old embryos can feel pain ?
It's funny how all these rich people kept telling the working class that if they can't afford kids, don't have them. And now that people are making the decision not to have kids because of affordability, suddenly it's an issue.
I grew up in poverty and watched my mom nearly kill herself doing her best to provide food and shelter. I don't want to bring in another person to suffer through that stress. I have a decent paying job relative to my area, but even that is barely enough for groceries and rent, let alone buying a house and raising a kid with my wife. Besides, the rest of my family breeds like rabbits anyway, so I really don't feel any kind if obligation to have one.
@@altingashi3927 First off, birth control wasn't really a thing back then, so of course people were going to easily get pregnant. Secondly, we're actually worse off right now than it was in the Great Depression. But otherwise, that makes total sense. "You don't have money? Just have a kid and worry about having another mouth to feed. And the cost of health care. And child care."
I've too much empathy to hand off that kind of harm to a new person.
Right, they flipped the script because they realize soon there won’t be enough people in the working class. They won’t have enough workers.
@@GothicGali They won't have enough workers AND money. The rich's entire empire is completely reliant on the working class buying their products and funding their empire. Once the population goes down, that means there won't be another person in line to buy their products and fund their empire.
The previous generation were able to do these unhealthy things and have addictions such as alcoholism, smoking, and gambling and still be able to provide family and have a house because the costs of living were low. They would not have survived in today's economy, but in reality the people who suffered in today's world were these generations. The majority of this generation suffered through the mental illness, narcissism, selfishness, and illness of their parents and grandparents. They are the reason why this generation is mentally ill. The consequences of their decisions and outlook on life, living, working, and having family relationships are being felt by this generation and the decline in birth rates is a symptom of this.
@@GothicGali It's less about working class since why do you think the big corporation and big tech are constantly pushing for AI and robots? So they don't need human works anymore, and more about consumers. The ultra rich needs more kids so they can continue on the cycle of supporting the system that enslaves them. Less kids already means less people to keep the machine greased up and going.
Why else do you think the ultra rich are now villainizing the childfree movement? It's one thing for people to be unable to support a child, it's another when they willingly don't want a child.
I've got 3 kids and what people said is true: they're difficult, annoying, take away my free time etc. And yet I've found I've never been happier than these years raising them. I have sacrificed a lot for them, but sacrificing in one area can bring happiness and other positives in another. I love them and don't regret having them
Good for you, I am sure the joy children bring is far more than the effort they require to raise.
Selflessness brings joy to the soul.
As a father of 5... children do not bring happiness. Nor they should. They are not the amusement park to make me or my wife happy all the time. And life in general is not about being happy all the time, who and why in the world reduced the life itself to this as if happiness is the only desirable thing we should experience?
I had my young days with all the parties and time only for me and my ambitions, sometimes I miss it (especially time only for me), yet I never regretted my choice and I don't think that this is how my whole life should be. There's more to it.
Regarding my wife... well, 20 years ago, when we both were partying and stuff I couldn't imagine she could be so devoted mother. It was her who told me "I want more kids" when we already had 2 (a standard upper limit to most of people of so called "western culture"). I said "OK". And here we are.
Parenting is not easy, far from it, especially these days when the life in the west has so much possibilities (career, leisure, personal development, travels, buying stuff to keep up with consumerist lifestyle) and having children essentially means to limit most of it... especially for women. Sadly, it's the other women these days who mock and degrade women who chose to be moms. The cultural background is against family and women who chose to be mothers. I don't get it.
When it comes to "the world is overpopulated"... well the western world is dying. The demographic explosion is going in the poorest countries of Asia and Africa but it's people of the west who are bombarded every single day with this "do not reproduce" agenda. Why? Someone could explain this to me? Why to have 8-9 kids in a country where even nature can't sustain the amount of people is OK and worth supporting while the western world where the population is the same as it was post WW2 (meaning western Europe) is constantly shamed with this "do not reproduce" thing?
What bothers me about people who dont want children is how most of them are self indulgent. And how they all forget that the younger people will pay for their pension when they retire. People who dont want to have children are some of the most shortsighted human beings who have ever lived.
@@wafercrackerjack880 yep. Hypocrisy at it's best. Usually these people are the same, who preach eco-friendly agenda but they have to have the latest iPhone, also they care so much about human right across the world yet they ignore that in the factories where iPhone was made people were killing themselves due to unbearable working conditions. This is just one of few examples of their "thinking" patterns.
The strange thing is that they are indoctrinated with this only in universities of US and western Europe. The rest of the world don't have it. As if the west is super enthusiastic about going extinct.
Why are people so mad some people don't want kids? It doesn't affect you personally. Live your own life they way you want to.
Because folks have a difficult time staying in their lane.
Ikr, like how many of these people would go out of their way to talk to me irl about the fact that I wont be having kids. And guess what? I'd laugh in their faces. I didn't choose to be born, but it's my life and I refuse to fuck.
Agreed.
I totally respect someone's opinion of not having kids, and there's people who say that they don't and it is because they are not prepared for it.
But some of the comments are horrendous, saying that children are gross.
edit - might as well add that I'm one of the individuals who don't want kids(also that I'm unmarried and a complete virgin), but that doesn't mean I hate kids(or would call them gross). And honestly, if one feels disgusted about kids instead of feeling protective of them I don't think such a person deserves to be called a human. One thing to choose to not have kids, another thing to completely hate them. There's something called "compassion" and everyone deserves it, including kids. Especially kids.
Because they are delusional, narcissistic, and misery loves company.
I never realized being child free was a ‘movement’. All I know is, I never had a desire to have kids or get married when I younger. Now that I’m older, I still don’t. I’ve always enjoyed my own company & consider myself a loner, but not lonely. It’s cool to know there are others like me.
I think the use of “movement” here is a bit over the top. There are a number of people on RUclips and TikTok sharing their childfree lifestyles, but it doesn’t make a dent in the number of people having kids.
Right kinda weird tbh
@asha true. It invalidates it and makes others believe it’s the norm instead of the exception
No you are very much not alone......they are thousands of us who are happy child free.....its just sadly we have needed to justify it lately.....enjoy your beautiful life and never feel you have to explain yourself 🥰
@@lbhappy there's always been people like you and it's never been a problem because the vast majority of people still had kids (and a lot of them). The worrying thing is that the number of such people is increasing so much, because eventually that leads to the end of humanity. So we need to understand what's causing this
I respect people that don’t want kids.. there’s some people that shouldn’t be parents and we’re pressured by society to have children .. we don’t need more neglected children
Based
Also statistically, people who don’t have kids are more financially stable, have better romantic relationships, are more physically fit, and overall report lower levels of depression.
@@sds6303source?
@@sds6303well maybe those career focused people know they dont have enough time to focus to kids
This is one of the reasons I don't want children. I know what it's like to be raised by a person like me and it psychologically fucked me up so I'm not going to do that to another child.
Society: Have children or there won't be enough people to take care of the elderly.
Also society: Stop expecting hand-outs! If you couldn't afford to take care of those kids, you should have kept your legs closed!
Put simply, the SocSec checks will be cut, so the childless better save more
" If you couldn't afford to take care of those kids, you should have kept your legs closed!"
Yeah, in the age of declining birth rates, that attitude needs to be reversed
I wonder if they’ll actually look at that in 50+ years.
Are they going to see who had kids and who didn’t before they start handing out social security? 😅
I can see the chaos now.
Basically, Society doesn’t know wtf they want. The elderly should’ve taken care of their bodies when they were young instead of running it down in expectation that they’ll be taken care of. I pray that I continue to exercise and move my body as I get older, I don’t want to expect anyone to take care of me. I’d rather die lol
@@PookieAkATiana The care is at least at the end of life when the organs are breaking down. BLKs also get hit harder with dementia. Adults should be given the medical option to end things, but the reality is that few females will do this when the time comes. Males seem to be able to do this easier because they are less adept at social connections while preferring to die as a net producer. Females as a group aren't net producers until children are added to the equation
So interesting to watch your audience grow so steadily...because you are producing some of the most thought provoking journalism on the web...you are going places good sir, keep up the good work!
Big facts
I was just sitting here thinking how I'm enjoying his format, this is only the second video of his I've seen
Yes, this is the real shit. I wish I found a real channel like him 10 years ago when I first started watching brain dead content on RUclips. Try going to the RUclips home page without being logged in. If it doesn’t know who you are it just going to show you, “child friendly” content that will turn your child’s brains to mush because nobody is allowed to speak the truth to children in this world so we raid them on garbage like MrBeast and Logan Paul. No wonder kids are getting dumber and dumber. Thank god for this champion
@@mallorycarpinski1160 I subscribed quick, you'll enjoy his approach in the rest of his videos, it's very similar and very thought provoking...its a return of nuance and it's refreshing
bro really got talent for this
I am a mother, but nobody should ever feel pressured to have children, it is a very big commitment, it should be something you truly want ✌🏻
People should be pressured more into having children than going to college. We need the next generation. We don't need English majors. (no offense to English majors)
Well said💯
@@rathelmmc3194 Wrong. People should not be pressured in to having children at all. If they choose to, great. If they choose not to, great.
@@shammydammy2610that's just a bunch of non sense. You should absolutely be pressured to have kids, especially women. The data on childless women after they can't have kids anymore is clear, there is a massive amount of women who get depressed. So while you might think you're being nice by telling them whatever they choose is fine, you're lying to them, they don't know what they don't know yet.
@@JP_26 Absolutely not. If someone doesn't want children, that is the end of that. People have the right to dictate where their lives go...and the very idea that women 'should absolutely be pressured to have kids' is awful and I suggest you get help. And I am not lying to my adult sons, if they don't want kids, then I absolutely support them in that choice.
I worked for years in a Nursing Home....Many adult children don't even visit their elderly parent..let alone " care for them ". And one of the biggest crimes now is stealing from th,e elderly..mainly their adult children feeling entitled to drain their parents bank account. Parents should be very careful, who they designate as their Power of Attorney and Executror of their estate....appoint more than 1 person.
As a person of color, African American, I have a fear of becoming a single mother stereotype, having a husband that don't act like a partner, and/or dying while giving birth.
If its any comfort, maternal mortality is exceptionally low, I bet there are a 100 things you do every day that have a higher chance of killing you. Also your race has nothing to do with being a good single parent or not. Make the right critical priorities when finding a mate, make sure they are stable, kind, protective, assertive, confident, and actually want to be a father. And not weighting looks, money or status as much as women tend to do.
It's because of this that I think there was some merit in the more…patriarchal...society in the past. Families weren't these isolated little units and communities helped raise children. Furthermore, if you were marrying a woman, you were marrying her family as well. So if you were the kind of dog shit human being, who knocked her up, and then decided you didn't want to stick around, well, your ass would be grass because her brothers, cousins, and God for bid, her father would be out for your blood. I feel like we lost that societal check on the men.
Exactly. This is how I feel too but I dont even bother telling this to people. I just full stop at “I’m not having any”. They wouldn’t even understand the explanation anyhow and simply invalidate it.
The way the government is gutting maternal health care 😑
These are the exact same reason why my black self won’t even think about having kids. 👩🏽🦲
I didn’t want kids because it’s a constant worry that something bad could happen to them. I also grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family with alcoholic parents and a dad who would abuse us by locking us in the basement, not feed us, force us to hit each other, etc. Now I’m a parent of the happiest little 5 year old. Her dad and I are nothing like my parents and now I’m grateful for my little family. It’s hard some days but there’s so many things that are even more enjoyable with her around. - Like going to the grocery store, going on a simple walk, or movie. Even holidays are more fun and brighter with kids around.
Is your dad in jail? i mean he clearly should be, that's unforgivable
That's a lot.. I hope you and your siblings got your justice
I have a friend who grew up in a orphanage and today is a happy dad.
I’m sorry sweetheart. I’m glad you are happy with your little family.
I’m so happy for you, and I’m so sad that you had to go through that.
I think one thing missing from the argument is the reality of single motherhood for a lot of mothers nowadays. I think a part of us not wanting to have children is the fact that men have a "choice" to participate and the reality that they choose not to is real and scary. I know watching some of my friends and family essentially be ghosted by the fathers of their children or "coparenting" has been a contributing factor in my choice to wait. We as a society aren't really holding men accountable for offspring in the same way that women are held accountable, but I think it takes two.😅
THIS! Like men can literally choose to leave or even if they don't physically leave, they take no part in raising the kids. Combine that with the fact that most women in the developed world work nowadays and you can see why children are less popular. The only way it would be fair for the man to not actively child raise is if he was supporting the entire family but that's unrealistic too nowadays. Plus, women are shamed for looking for men who are wealthier even though this would allow them to be sahm (which is what men seem to want). The double standard is crazy. If a mother neglected her kids she'd be criticized severely but if a dad takes his son to school he's "an amazing dad".
Deadbeat dads are destroying society. They ought to be incels.
100%. I also noticed this video is focused on women mostly. Men should be equally interviewed and equally responsible for population decrease. Yet it always seems to land on the woman. Guess it's nothing new.
Fax
And there's more: ten to twenty percent chance of a kid with a disability, and a society that offers little support for them and their families. Certain kids with certain conditions do ruin their parent's lives.
From what I observe society just loves the idea of making more children. But when the kid is there. Society and community doesn't care. anymore.
Facts society sucks
As George Carlin said, "If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're pre-school, you're f**ked."
Ikr ,like kidsmthat are in poverty never get put in a home or shelter 😢
BECAUSE IT'S NOT SOCIETIES JOB TO RAISE SOMEONE ELSES KIDS!!! Get married and have a strong mature relationship and then yes have kids and care for them. What broken bankrupt logic of you people in here. What a freaking shame.
@@45eno Uh yes it is, the idea of a single family raising a kid is an extremely modern idea
For centuries entire villages all knew each other and raised each other
My husband and I got married young and started having kids right away. I stayed home to care for them and we were very broke. But the funny thing is now that our kids are older, they say they didn’t even know we had money problems. They say they felt rich, because they always felt loved and cared for. Stuff isn’t what a kid needs it’s time and attention.
This is true. For most of my childhood, since my parents were immigrants, they were always struggling with money, yet I always felt I had everything I needed growing up. I didn't know until I got older, and I respect them a lot for pulling through all of that.
Exactly. My parents were poor as well but made the most of it. We had them, we had each other, we had nature and our childhood was awesome.
because children don't give a fuck about money... full belly and love.
Yeah but your experience doesn’t represent other “broke” homes.
Exactly only time money come into play if you want to dress your kid up put them in camps and trips and all that. I have kids too I love it
Another interesting POV is that perhaps modern society puts an intense amount of value on romantic connections and childbearing, as opposed to emphasizing the connections we build in our overall community/village. Yes, romantic partners or having children can provide a beautiful sense of connection, but thinking that romance or children are the sole solution to loneliness or old-age happiness is putting a lot of pressure on those two connections alone. If we, however, establish an entire community that we can lean on...friends, neighbors, extended family...we can find a lot more meaning and a sense of belonging and support from multiple directions. Imagine being able to not only depend on your kids during old age, but also on your extended family, friends and neighbors. Imagine being old and having neighbors that check in on you or invite you over for dinner. Imagine having friends that come over to sip coffee every morning, or extended family that you can visit often. Imagine being a part of a community garden where everyone shares the veggies and fruits they grow, or that can give you tips on how to keep your tulips healthy. I think we'd feel more fulfilled if we built a strong community that goes beyond just romantic relationships or kids. It takes a village to raise a kid, they say. I argue it takes a village to make any person feel a sense of belonging.
Yes. There is no community in the West.
A lot of people won't answer the door for you. Because they just don't know who you are.
I love this
This, I personally believe people want less kids when they live in cities, because they are disconnected from nature and community. If young women lived near extended families, with a sense of community and solidarity in a beautiful place, they would not fear having kids this much. Urbanization and reduced family size means a lot of young mother cannot count on the "village" for childcare options, they are not treated and supported well after birth (sent back after one day), and are isolated with male partners who often don't step up... modern life has made motherhood depressing and isolating.
I agree, this focus on "kids" is much of the same individual focus, masquerading as community. It should be focusing on community, not "kids" alone. And in a larger community, having kids is easier.
I had a child and realized there is no connection deeper than my connection to my child. Not even with my partner. This connection is amazing and deep and fills me with joy. The brain just changes after having a baby. It’s not really societal conditioning
I think what also should be mentioned is declining fertility. How many couples try to have kids but can't. And how weird it is that coutries are so desperate for higher birth rates but most of them refuse to give enough or any financial aid for IVF and other assisted reproduction.
I think that most of this is caused by having kids far later in life. Let's face it, conception and pregnancy are far less likely to succeed when a woman is in her late 30s. It's tough, our modern lives have been set up to lead to this, so I get it. But there is not enough attention being given to it, we only focus on other, arguably less influential aspects, probably because it's a socially controversial topic to question the age that a woman decides to have kids.
@@_Lumiere_ well, the reasons for infertility are complex and so are individual reasons why sb might arrive to have their child-wish later in life... generelly I find it is well known how female fertility declines...but I agree that (western) society doesn't do much to put focus on the value of family and children. There is much materialism and competion of lifestyle instead.
@@mori.kurogawa7936 I just find it that the increased age at which women have their first children is barely ever talked about when talking about the decline in fertility. It's the single most important biological factor. But it's understandable why that topic is avoided, I guess. I agree that western society doesnt put nearly enough value in having a family, even discouraging it in certain cases, making it seem like "you're not living your best life."
Bruh literally the poorest countries on earth have the highest birth rates even countries like Sweden that provide free child care and maternity and paternity leave have lower birth rates throwing money at a societal issue isn't the problem the problem is your mentality the nuclear family designed for the development of the youth having a dual parent household where one partner stays and the other works is the ideal child raising strategy but due to the demonization of housewives by radical feminist and societies expectation for women to still date above their socioeconomic groups eliminating the possibility for househusbans it created the perfect melting pot for a anti baby environment
@@walter2201 I'm talking about IVF and ART, which can be too expensive to afford for many infertile couples. Infertility has nothing to do with antibaby attitudes. And living in a rich coutnry doesn't mean sb. is automatically rich. There is lots of poverty within rich countries, too. And so are all kind of wealth statues.
A woman loses a lot of herself when she has children. It’s a huge sacrifice.
Yep and so does the father. Lots of time and effort either at home caring for kids or the father being at work providing. It is a bedrock to society to not focus on only self but to care for others. You GAIN far more than you lose though.
It's better to regret not having kids then to regret having kids.
Agreed!
It would be the other way around for me
I dunno why people keep making generalized staments on this subject it is purely a personal thing
@@Cameron39829 It's because people always ask childfree people "Won't you regret not having kids some day?" while people never ask people who are thinking about having children whether or not they will regret their decision. It can become annoying when people who have or want children constantly try to convince you as a childfree person to decide otherwise. They think that they know what is best for you as if we have not thought about the decision and weighed it out ourselves. That's why I think this phrase is popular among childfree people. But I agree it is a personal decision and neither choice is a bad.
@darkstar 1651 it's honestly the same the other way too, both groups try to lecture the other. You can see this in his video, "how can you have children the world is overpopulated!?" "How can you not have children you'll die alone and sad?!"
If someone wants kids and is capable of caring for them that's completely okay and if someone doesn't want kids that's also okay. Happiness and how someone goes about getting it is gonna be different for from one person to another.
i disagree. people should have kids because the population colapse is very real
@@Themrine2013We don’t exist to pump up government numbers.
@@Themrine2013 who the hell care about that?
Work till 90 years old then. Enjoy decaying infrastructure
@@Themrine2013 the global population if far from collapsing and overpopulation is very real
I’m a 41 year old woman who never has had children. I have a long list of reasons why. The main reason is that I just don’t feel any desire to be a mother. Babies and children do not appeal to me at all. I actually find them to be too loud and often annoying. I don’t mind them in small doses, but more than that would be exhausting. I also have a genetic chronic illness that my mother passed on to me, as well as several other awful genes. If I had a daughter, there is a good chance she would have this disease too. I’ve become increasingly ill, and some days have trouble taking care of myself. When I found out I was infertile, I was relieved. As I get older, I feel more and more relieved I never had a child. I am a godmother to my beautiful nephew and that is enough for me. 😊
Good for you! I relate to so many of your reasons. I don’t particularly like children - they’re fine from afar. Other than that, I am genuinely worried about climate change (having experienced its effects firsthand for years). I’m such an introvert and also highly anxious person that the idea of taking care of someone that is completely dependent on me is a nightmare.
@@eydpotter I agree. Climate change is a big reason for me also. I can see it happening also and the increasing lack of water is a huge worry. It sounds like you have made the right decision for yourself also 😊
@boy Afrika what is sad?
@boy Afrika don’t feel sad for me. Feel sad for women like me who really want kids but can’t have them. It’s better it happens to me than someone who wants a baby 🤷🏻♀️
@boy Afrika wow I am really sorry you went through that! I’m happy you have your son. I wish you all the best and hope you will have lots of peace and happiness in your life. Big hugs 💚✌🏻☮️
What's selfish is bringing unwanted children into this world
Because people have kids for their own selfish reasons, without even considering that their decision impacts someone else
That's literally how every human being has been brought onto this planet. Your whole biological makeup is to reproduce. Nothing more.
what ive seen happily married people with already kids can be surprisingly careless "oops it just happened" and they get 3rd,4th even 5th child. Families with 1-2 kids are very rarely like this, they ponder and plan very long time. It is also irony people in west think about this while problems are elsewhere... and they have selfish, greedy intentions to have as many kids as possible. Of whom many can come to west later to get that iphone and other promised hilife things(which often their parents dream of).
@markstein2845my main point is if they can afford 1-2 kids, likely they are wealthy enough over time to have almost as many as they want... life is pretty expensive, to earn income for 1-2 extra humans food and space + energy. Technically redneck/religion cult wise having 10 kids dont cost that much if dont care about their social and other needs. Thats why they come to west or other places desperately trying to find any job, income, sometimes any means necessary. It's true something has gone wrong when people must work long days and still worry getting laid off and all that, starvation or forced to move. But you're right, if things suddenly get better, people just do easiest thing and again "live beyond means", maximize their family size and all that.... doesnt need religion to know that. It seems cyclical: grandparents time needed more people to work, so big families were fine... now we have enough people and not need lot of kids if we be honest how jobmarkets have been for 20 years... then it can again change at some point... ie sometimes work really hard, sometimes more time for families in longer span.
Most kids aren't planned for.
And a lot of them turn out to be the most beautiful mistakes.
I thought I knew what Love was..
Until I had my son and daughter.
NOW I TRULY KNOW WHAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE REALLY IS.
Because that's what I have for my kids.
So, I've been working with kids off and on since I was 16. Everything from babysitting to substitute teaching. And I feel pretty confident in saying we can't even take care of the kids we got! Before we start thinking about adding children, we need to be thinking about how we can take care of the kids that are already here.
This. It is the fact that parents are not taught nor encouraged to take care of their children properly. People in the past had known that but it seems that today's society made us forget about it.
Exactly!!! I am an immigrant and always thought US should have solid childcare and education system. Shocked by the reality!!!
Yes, the US can keep attracting the smartest minds to move here, but it’s failing the offspring of its own people.
The world is better... maybe not in your country or city. Even the climate has good spots in the world. BUT if can't study...or get a good job or don't like kids... just forget it.
The rental crisis is a problem... but there's some remote work nowadays.
@vidkoprek7057 I would attribute it more to Americans working too much. Americans work longer hours than any developed nation in the world. The more time parents spend at work means less time spent with their kids. In the past parents were more involved because they had the time to be involved.
Kids are a huge drag. Just don’t do it.
As a guy who enjoys his freedom and independence, I understand these women and what they want from life.
Kids can be difficult to raise. They are not pets that you can simply feed 3 times a day and take out for a walk.
There's day care costs, school, college, etc...
Don't let anyone pressure you into having kids you may not even want to have in the first place
Part of the problem is that not having a kids leads to societal collapse. It also doesn't take into account that you'll be setting yourself up for a pretty lonely life and the fact that women are reporting lower levels of happiness today compared to 50 years ago.
@@makingthestorybetterlive a lonely but free life or live tied down raising kids having to do the bulk of the work regardless if you have a job or not because men don't really like taking care of kids
@@marky19841000oney, I am a minority, I'm mexican American. So yeah, put your racism away. Also when I was working 12 hours, I had time to take care of my ailing mother and my pets
@@makingthestorybetter my life is full of amazing experiences thank you..far from “lonely” don’t be ignorant
@@makingthestorybetterpeople in the west in general report being more unhappy than years ago. It also has to do with the fact that everything is way more expensive than 50 years ago (cost of a car, high school, college, cost of rent, housing). My parents had me 26 years ago, payed $9000 a semester in college, bought a car for a fraction of what I payed, payed rent for next to nothing. They understand that the world we live in now is not what they grew up in. It was also much easier for them to land a high paying job back in their day but their is so much competition so there are people who have been fighting to get a job that they could use to upgrade their life to start a family for years and cannot break into their respective fields.
My parents generation had different rules, different gas prices lmao. Most of us do not make enough to put food in an extra mouth each month. And to just “get a better paying job” is not that simple or easy. That’s where I am right now. Not everyone has a family to help them raise children either.
Having kids is a beautiful thing which is why when some one says they don’t want them, I listen and don’t try to change their mind because having kids is a serious job that you should do because you want it .
Honestly, as someone who lives in Japan I can really attest that it comes down to the cost of living.
Kids are expensive. Dating, social media aside, the cost of living is making the dream of a nuclear family more and more unattainable.
If the cost of living were to decrease but social media influence (which also influences one's sexual selection) were to remain the same, would people who currently do not want to have children start to want them?
They are expensive but its worth the cost of admission. You adjust and make it work. Do you get less fancy things and vacations for a time...yes.
I believe Japan has the highest cost of raising a kid out of any country in the world
What's sad is people are being priced out of true happiness, while accepting the lie that things give us true happiness. My grandma lived a selfless life, and died with family surrounding her. SO many people are going to be on their death bed surrounded by nothing but a TV playing Netflix.
Nuclear family is a very new concept in human history and it has totally failed.
It's not a dream, it's a contruckt made up by capitalism.
Always be suspicious of people who look down on the childless. It is profoundly disturbing that they would insist you need to breed in order to validate your life.
Amen fam!
They are very insecure & projecting that insecurity on to others. That’s all it is.
Female protected status is earned by childbirth. If females don't want to birth, this protected status needs to be cancelled
@@sds6303 How are they insecure? What does that have to do with insecurity? Usually the ones that put pressure are other family members that want the family line to continue or experience having kids around again.
Well, dont breed, dont get your life validated. There is always a choice.
The world is as messed as it is because a lot of people that have kids shouldn’t have had them. Most people lack the financial and emotional stability to raise a healthy, well adjusted future adult. Bringing a child into the world without the necessary resources is WAAAAAY more selfish than not having any children at all. Imagine bringing another human being into the world just for them to struggle.
Ye that right mindset
I agree
Exactly. The "dad left to get milk" stereotype and joke exists for a reason.
💯💯👏👏👍👍
Preach!
My parent had me before they’re ready. My mom and dad sacrifice a lot and they always throw their regrets for their “unachieved goals” to me. When I was a kid, i always watch them being angry, blaming each other, and passive-agressively blaming me as their kid who “inhibit” their opportunity in life. That made me very depressed to a point i think it’s better for me to die. And the funny thing was, when I opened up to my mum that I wanted death, she said,” don’t you dare, you don’t know how much I spent and sacrificed for you.” So it’s always about them, not me. I love them because i know they crush their soul to give me the best education and environment growing up. But everytime i look back in how awful their life was, i’m afraid if at one point I’ll become like them and scarred my kids for life.
I know those feelings too well..
🫂 virtual hug (if allowed). What a nightmare for you, and you didn’t even ask to exist. I was a young mom and struggled with my child, but I try my best not to take it out on him or make him feel like it’s his fault. He didn’t ask to exist. I’m so sorry…💔
that's horrible bruh, if u really are scarred of scarring your children, it's safe to avoid having them to begin with unless it's your passion, but yes your parents are sick
And i hate the fact how people rant oh parents deserve respct . Heck no parets give respect they earn respct you don't owe your parents anything.
@@purpleflowers92 I don't agree with that - they could've given you to the state at any time. They stepped up to the plate. I see a lot of entitlement from the west's kids these days. My parents had me young. Their protection failed. They struggled financially because of it. My mom went into a depression trying to keep up the work/child load. I never expected her to be perfect and recognize what she sacrificed for me.
One thing I really hate about the “duty” argument (the “you not having kids is putting the country at risk”) is that people expect people to feel a huge social responsibility for a society that they don’t really feel loyalty for. Why help a society when it doesn’t help you? Why feel that obligation?
I have no obligation to support a system that just wants to use and discard me. My children don't deserve a life sentence in this world, and neither do yours.
Don't complain when social security runs out and the government can no longer afford any social services for anyone period.
@@Riel_Rami Your just contributing to the downward spiral, people don't want to bring kids into a world without social services, but that only contributes to their downfall, which makes even less people want kids, its paradoxical, without significant changes to the very foundation of the current economy, this problem isn't gonna get solved, maybe delayed, but not solved.
Man, roads are pretty nice. So are libraries. And electricity.
If you are living in USA then yes, your country has no future, but if you are living in lets say Europe or Japan you should feel responsible for your country because some countries actually care about people not just money.
No one can afford to buy a house anymore ... who wants to raise three kids like that!? We've made a society that doesn't make families possible anymore
All very true. I just find it amusing that so many today go right to 'climate change', 'inflation/economy', 'careers' 'overpopulation', 'want to heal/find myself', pain of childbirth. I'm in my late 50's and back in the day my kid-allergic friends and I were just honest: simply don't like them, need them or want them. Period. The world has always had problems and challenges, we had lives, relationships, careers, goals, interests and bills. But now it seems people use these as a "socially acceptable" excuse shield so they're not accused of the predictable blowbacks: 'selfishness', 'immaturity', 'something's wrong with you' (esp. women), 'you'll change your mind, dear' (my fave), dismissed, vilified and demeaned.
True even if you’re married to start with there’s a high chance of ending up a single parent, living in a council flat. Working all hours just to pay bills and childcare, with very little time to spend with them and no money to take them anywhere. In the uk at least unless your a millionaire many young people are choosing not to risk marriage, divorce is too expensive. Finding a partner who wants kids is a massive challenge and who’s got time and energy to do the whole dating thing.Having kids is for the rich or those prepared to live a life of poverty. There’s also a high chance of having at least one kid with learning behaviours and or mental health issues and tackling that as a single parent is a huge undertaking.
This is a decent point.
@@Purplelemon503340% not that high
@@Strongdadlifting I’d say that’s high odds but everyone has a different opinion 🤷♀️
The woman saying she needs to go healing on herself to make sure she doesn’t throw it on a kid is a beautiful response. I wish more people thought that way, because honestly by not healing their inner self from the traumas they may have experienced, they are only keeping the cycle going continuing the hurt. Instead of, creating a childhood for their children they DONT need to recover from. It’s a big deal to raise little humans, I wish more people took it seriously. This is coming from a mother of 2, raising kids is not for the weak. If you are not there, don’t cause another human to suffer. I’ve worked in the school system for 8 years, and have seen time and time again parents with alot of kids who NEGLECT and don’t take of their kids. It’s heartbreaking. All I’m saying is her response was mature! More people need to think that way before bringing innocent lives into the world.
Very commendable and selfless
it's not about thinking that way - it's that society puts traumas on people and tells them to deal with it - and doesn't explain how to not put that on kids. Society lacks family planning - so they just make it hard on individuals - who have to cope by themselves in an independent society. Thinking that way isn't going to help in this when we have no choice and it can be preventable.
@soniasara11 I'm talking about the school system - in my school - they explained how to avoid relationships and kids through abstinence and thought kids are horrible - so they made kids look as bad as possible to shame people out of having them. School should at least be impartial by explaining how to have kids the right way if you choose to.
This sounds like a good idea and responsible, but in reality is NOT. We always think we will be happier if I marry someone rich, find true love, finish my career goal, but the life never waits, and you will never be the version you wish you are. We are ALL unfinished product, always try to get better. Actually only Different challenges and true life experiences make you mature and wiser. Staying in comfort zone will not make you grow. We can't wait until we are perfect, because it will never happen. Like everything, it will be a work in progress. You have to " Jump In" and continue to learn, grow and manage at best as you can... 😺
What if the child is the healing factor? Also Trauma will always exist, with kids or no kids. So you might heal but eventually a new trauma might arise, does this mean you'll never have a kid cuz' of this way of thinking? I think this is just an excuse to not have a kid.
I think it is very unfair to make people feel like having a romantic partner or kids is the only path to happiness. Some people cannot achieve this in their lifetime for a number of reasons. There are other strong relationships you can build that have just as much value.
Nope.
I agree with you but I’ve always felt I’ll never be happy if I don’t have kids. I do want them and don’t know what I would do if I don’t have them
I agree with you. Not everyone is lucky enough to find that someone and being a single parent is very difficult. It will pay off in the end if your kid turns out nice but so many things could go wrong even though you’ve tried your best.
@@hoangyung2456 This is the thing that im afraid of. OF what the child would turn out to be like in adulthood like a criminal, r*pist, killer, murderer, abuser, bully etc. Like it must be hard if example: U raised and loved your child, but then she/he kills Someone or do very bad stuff. How would u cope,do or even react😟 and also many things why im too afraid to have Kids.
what if this, what if that, stop overthinking, we were created to have sex and make babies, stop trying to fight against nature, go with the flow and you'll realize relinquishing control is exactly what makes you happy
I grew up with a “traditional family”
My parents got married at 21
They had me at 32 (fertility issues)
My mom was a home maker and my dad worked in business analytics
My parents constantly struggled with finances so my mom started working as a shop assistant (I’m an only child btw)
My parents were very unhappily married but stayed together for me.
When I was 11 my dad beat my mom so badly she ended up in hospital
My mom left and she got divorced (they were married for 22 years)
She struggled to make ends meet but we were safe from my father.
I learned as I got older my mom wanted to go to medical school but was told to that being a wife and mother was more important…she never followed her dream and although she loves me, she never found true happiness or her purpose in life because of social expectations.
I watched the unhappiness of my parents and hated the idea of “traditional gender roles” because of what they put my mother through.
I want 1 child one day.
But I will be financially stable and with a caring partner or I will not have a child. Children don’t deserve trauma because we were not thoughtful enough. Learn some child psychology and you will realize how easy it is to f@ck up an entire child’s life. Their entire personality and future is formed in 4 years. If something goes wrong in those 4 years nothing can fix it. Children aren’t toys, they are the future and having children irresponsibly is what puts the future in jeopardy, not underpopulation.
Because when you have children irresponsibly you increase the risk of criminality, underperformance and poverty in the future.
I wish more people would see this aspect of life and children. I had very similar experiences, and feel similarly now. My mom had me in her late thirties (also fertility issues) and she also came from a very traumatic upbringing. My father had a similar upbringing, and struggled with addiction. They are no longer living, but their traumas are - in me. I don't want to pass them onto my children and so I will not have children until I can ensure that I won't. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!
@@driftingsakurablooms and thank you for sharing your experience! There are so many similar stories like ours and I hope we are able to learn from our experiences as a society and that less kids go through what we did
Tree roots cause damage to foundations.
They can even crack a concrete foundation.
There are two ways I know to get rid of them.
The first one my dad told me when I was 8, "the way to get rid of roots is a simple process. Drill a hole here and there. Acquire Epsom salt, pour the Epsom salt in each hole, wait for it to fill the roots, wait for it to dehydrate the roots, wait for it to kill the roots. Now you won't have to worry about your foundation."
The second one I learned in Freshman biology. It might take a little longer.
Start by exposing your roots to sunlight and air.
Watch them choke, wither, dry out, and eventually die.
I like to think of tree roots as generational trauma. The foundation is where you are going to start your life. You can't build on sand, but you can turn that sand into concrete. But if there are roots already there then there is a problem to be addressed before you start building or else later down the line it will be a bigger issue.
(Sorry if this doesn't make sense I've never shared this "poem" if it's even called that.)
@@jupiterdai that’s a really good analogy. My mom and dad came from abusive homes but never worked on their trauma.
@@chameleon28 So did mine. My dad has been working on his for a few years now and my Ma thinks it's normal to act the way she does. That is why I have made it a point to work on mine before I even get into a relationship of any kind because I'm scared of hurting the other person with harsh words.
14-year-old me: I don't want kids.
42-year-old me: I still don't want kids.
Not everyone wants kids. This video appears to guilt people who never wanted kids to be parents. No one should be forced to raise an unwanted child. Edit: And every child deserves to be loved and wanted.
I’d feel worse for the kid in that situation tbh
@@baccycones7644 Exactly! Every child deserves parents who truly want and love them. If this were a world where every child was truly loved and wanted, it would transform everything.
Nah, y’all’s are so desperate, he didn’t event pressure anyone to have kids.
@@jaysaini955 But there are definitely some people in the comments trying to change other peoples opinions....it's not hard to tell lol.
@@AlondraAcevedo-ww6hf True I guess
I know you won’t see this comment, but after years of looking at RUclips videos mindlessly, it is extremely refreshing to see someone using the platform to do such great journalism that provokes discussion respectfully, and civilly, including some topics that people may not want to discuss. Including all sides of the argument is something that many journalists simply do not do (including big corporations), and respecting other people’s opinions is even more rare. Thank you for the work that you do, it is needed in todays age.
I witness you
This guy is amazing. Internet is full of stupid things, and then, a New Hope rises.
this isn't great journalism......this left out so much information for the true reasons women are not having kids....what he presented was surface level. The real reason so many women don't want to get married and have kids is the unequal distribution of work in a marriage.
Women are expected to work full time, do all the household chores and still take care of hubby. In addition, there are fewer benefits for women to get married and have kids. What is horrifying is the lack of empathy men have for their wives.....to let their wives do all of that work without lifting a finger is mind boggling and I can't believe women have put up with it for so long.
Single child free women are the happiest subgroup, are getting wealthier faster than single men and are much healthier and happier than married women. Married women have shorter lifespans, have less wealth and are more likely to end up impoverished if they get a divorce.
Ironically it is literally in women's best interest (health, wealth) if they stay single and child free.
Until men become more egalitarian, none of the solutions will work and birth rates will continue to drop. If you want women to produce more children, make it so that having kids and getting married is more beneficial to them than remaining single and child free. Based on the statistics, marriage benefits men......not women. His statistic for happiness was based on the happiness for men, not women.
@@notyet2345 Oh... you want the govt to pay you to have kids bc life is all about money. That program already exists and it's called The Welfare Department.
@NotYet that really depends on the relationships snd if its toxic or not, as most married people with kids mostly dont regret it
I'm happily child free and I wish that all people who desire having children can accomplish their goal. We all deserve happiness and respect regardless of our decision on parenthood.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
You're right. Just be happy to do what you want. They have children, go ahead. You don't have children, go ahead. I hate those comments either guilt tripping or forcing people to have children or not have them just because. Respect is all it takes.
I hope and you should be sure.
Turning 30-32 and realizing that you want a husband and children (only not have neither) is a horror that I wouldn't wish on anybody.
Too many women are falling into despair and loneliness because they experience the clock-ticking.
Make sure it's the life you want, or you will regret it forever...
@@vladimirofsvalbard9477 I'm also a very happy woman close to my 50 who is not a mother and I don't regret it in ANY way. Save your paternalistic comments for yourself. We don't need them.
@@lunaazul1569 So why you so mad, watching this video a telling to stranger how happy you are for not having kids? Lol, I can smell your tears from the other side of the world.
I don't want the headache, stress, anxiety, cost, and responsibility of having kids.
Great. But how are you trusted to be a leader or decision maker? You can’t deal…
@@Isaba9140 what I say?
@@StrongdadliftingThis comment makes absolutely no sense. Being self-aware is a skill many cannot achieve.
@@theeninja1918 wtf is going on?
Or the fulfillment and blessing
Not wanting to have children is absolutely not selfish. Shaming someone for not having children is selfish.
Having children is the most selfish and narcissistic thing anyone can do.
@@txlyons2937Are you for real? Read that back and tell me you really believe that. It tells me that you had bad parents, and look if that's the case I'm sorry. Mine weren't great, not the worst either.
@@bugs389 Yes, I believe it with all my heart. There are *no* altruistic reasons to have children, especially these days.
As for your comment about my parents, I am middle-aged now, and today my relationship with my parents is much improved. We're on good terms; but they know they're never getting any grandchildren from me.
@@bugs389Having human babies is the most selfish thing, to the child, to other humans, to other species and to other life forms
@@waltergrove2657nowhere near the most selfish
Im a 26 year old woman. I am sterlised. I am born with mental health issues. I can sustain myself, the house and my partner, just barely. Sometimes I need some extra help as I cant manage if my week has been a bit busier than usual. I cant raise a child. Heck I am at massive risk to get even more screwed in the head if I do. The child doesnt deserve it, my partner doesnt deserve it, the kid doesnt deserve it.
Sending love to you and your husband!
You seem to be a very responsible person.
Where can I go to get sterilized?
Yeah, it’s really hard being extremely psychotic with a kid. I didn’t even know the extent of my mental illness until pregnancy/childbirth exacerbated it! It is very draining, and I’m sorry for bringing my child into a situation like this…I want to say that MAYBE it would be easier for you if you had an extremely supportive partner who would be the breadwinner, but that’s not even a guarantee, and postpartum psychosis setting in while you’re home alone with the baby could be dangerous. Anyways, I am sending prayers and good vibes to your mental health. It’s a struggle!
I've noticed most people with mental health disabilities can't get a partner let alone become a parent. This is truer of men than women though.
My teen children already told me they are not having any kids, and I said good for you. I wish someone had given me that advice before I had children.
You basically told your kids that you wish they were never born. Bet that made them feel good.
@@rathelmmc3194how’d you figure that?
@@HarmlessTomato He just told them, "Good on ya. I support your decision." He didn't tell them he wished he didn't have them.
I'm 43 and never had desire to have kids. I've never been good with relationships so never married either. So many people told me I'd change my mind about wanting kids that I expected to want them after finding a partner. But later I decided I wanted to stay single for my own mental health. I saw my other friends having fun with dating and I only had stress and panic attacks. I decided that if I ever suddenly wanted kids I would do it on my own. But I never had the desire. There are other ways to contribute to society, so I don't think I am being selfish in any way. There are enough people out there having multiple kids that it doesn't matter if I don't have any. There's no rule that says I have to use my own kids for elder care, or that I have to have my own kids in order to hire elder care. I pay my taxes like everyone else and I am entitled to pay for elder care when it's needed. I absolutely love my life. I have a great social group. I travel. I have a great career, a nice house. Most people who have kids have said they envy my life at one point or another. The only people who seem to get mad at my lifestyle or threaten me by saying I'll regret it are lonely single men who seem to be threatened by a woman who does what she wants.
That explains a lot.
Thanks for this mature comment.
THIS. ❤
I say this on behalf of a lot of men. I don't mean no disrespect but we truly don't care if you exist or not. It's not selfish to want your desires. Enjoy your life and again we don't care. Women and kids are expensive. With how the divorce rate is at the moment. No man wants to lose their assets and pay to the other half and be financially crippled.
@@kroenkeout708 thank you for being honest. As a man my self i have the same views as you. Woman and kids are expensive. I wouldnt marry and have a child my self if i haven't financially stable. Growing up in poor household my father always see me and my siblings as a liability. It's really scars me hears how my father always complaining to my mother that he always work and work but couldn't buy or do the simple thing that he wanted because he have an obligation to feed us. I once see him crying like a 2 years old rolling and scratching the floor because he so feed up with it (it's kinda stupid he realized kids are liability after having 4 child 😅). And it's really scars me seing my mother have a mental breakdown because my father always use her as punching bag. One day my father leaves "go out for milk but never comeback" style 🤣 but thank god my mother have a good support system (our grandparents, her siblings and friend) and she finally managed to have her own career and success and change our live for good. No man or woman should supper because a society standart.
Why are people mad? It's better for those who don't want kids to not have them!!
Misery loves company. :)
Ikr ,they thinks kids are free
the problem is that enough people in the younger generations today have had such a rough time growing up that they wouldn't wish having to grow up in today's world on their worst enemy much less their own kid
I think thats cool its worst to have a kid and be a terrible parent its selfish have a kid only to save relationships and to people see you with more respect
Are kids having a rough time? Come on. We live in one of the most privileged eras. And honestly, kids today are a little too plugged into social media, a lot of which is fueled by misinformation and misery. An artificial picture of society is being sold by the media to make money. Step outside and you’ll realize life (for the most part) is not terrible.
@@catgarcia4583 no we don't. Poverty, unemployment, and wage minimums haven't been this bad since the great depression, it costs 4x as much work to get a house as it did 40 years ago what do you even mean?
@@jansonshrock2859 See you have a negative mindset. I had that too. That mindset led me to being a fat, single mom that lived paycheck to paycheck. But then I FINALLY graduated college, worked my way up, lost the weight, and am now teaching and making close to 60k. A ton of money? Not a ton, but totally enough. In a couple years, I’ll have enough to afford a house. In an amazing neighborhood? No. But there are plenty of options where I live in decent, working class neighborhoods.
Stop being so doom and gloom. It’ll work miracles for you with a little bit of a “can-do” attitude.
Oh, and whose fault is it if they live their life working at or near minimum wage? Minimum wage should be temporary. Go to school. Gain a skill. Join the military. Just whatever you do…stop whining and looking at all the reasons why you can’t.
Or don’t! Your pessimism doesn’t affect me!!
@@catgarcia4583 I've been born into a socially and financially stable household, have good education and am determined to get a well paid and purposeful job, yet despite all this privilege, I still wish I had never been born.
That "things aren't as bad" or that generations before us might have had it more rough doesn't matter. If you want to spare your child from as much pain and suffering as possible (which I assume every parent wants for their child), the best you can do is to not give birth to them in the first place. The asymmetry of pleasure and pain by David Benatar explains this further, if you're interested.
I see these people not wanting kids very responsible, they did that self assessment that no one does. Kudos to them
Ye childfree people more responsible because they didn't reproduce another generation of biorobots which don't know how to live this life and what to do
Exactly. People with kids are always broke.
I don't understand how more people don't think through such a big thing. It's a major life/style choice.
"I see these people not wanting kids very responsible"
Just watch old people respond to cuts in Medicare and SocSec when there are not enough workers to fund them
@@GK-op4oc So we should just keep feeding children to a shitty system? Does that make any sense to you?
I think before we discuss bringing children into the world. We should first ask ourselves: "How can I pave the way for these children's future and provide them a good life wherein they want to continue living and want to have a fulfilling life?" I think this begins a discussion that's more productive in addressing child care, fertility, suicide, and population. And on a personal level, I think it can challenge us to be better people for our own children and the children around us. :)
I agree, instead of governments asking "why people aren't having kids?" they should be asking the right questions
- Why are young people feeling so unsafe to have kids?
- Why young people can't have a house or a car these days?
- Why raising a child is so expesive that so many people are rethinking the idea of ever having kids?
- Why we (the government) can't provide a enviroment, a society, where kids can grow and develop healthly?
- Why we can't provide the conditions that people need in order to be able to procreate?
Etc...
Don’t forget issues in public education, inflation, cost of living, the job market and family courts
I'm choosing not to have kids because I dont want them to go through the suffering I have gone through. I really resent my parents for having me and often wish I never existed, despite choosing to still keep going but i would never want to possibly pass on my mental health issues to another person.
Jesus loves you♥️✝️
Don't hold it against them, you're life has a purpose.
I feel the exact same way. I think having kids ( forcing life onto someone) is extremely selffish.
@@GodSoLoved.Yeshua🤮
Same here.
@@daisiesinthefield217 lol???? how in the world is something as natural as reproducing, FORCING LIFE ONTO SOMEONE>????? you're insane.
The obsession with "not enough people" is all about economics. Not the environment, not quality of life. No one should have kids if they don't want them. And no, if you truly don't want them, you will not regret it.
yes you will
@@jazzxgray No actually you won't.
@@juliaforsyth8332wait till you're 80
@@jazzxgray You want people to have kids they dont want because they might be lonely at 80 ? There plenty of parents in nursing homes who barely get visits. Kids are not a guarantee.
As of the pro birthers care about women and their happyness...
I am 48yo and child-free. I sometimes wonder what life might have been like with a child (there's no way on this earth I would've agreed to more), but I do not regret not having children.
I'm selfish with my time and energy, and genuinely believe I would have resented having a child. No child should grow up resented (feeding ground for neglect and abuse) and no woman (or man) should feel trapped. I wish more people really thought about the consequences of having children unplanned, unprepared, or emotionally incapable.
You never know if you're prepared until you try. Having doubts is normal.
But if you really feel emotionally incapable then you shouldn't have kids.
@@Cobalt1520the only point you commented on was unprepared. Your point is rediculous hey you are unprepared go get pregnant just to find out sounds like a wonderful plan. Rediculous.
Let see how you gonna feel at 70
At least you're honest enough to say that you are a narcissist, immature and egocentric. Most women who don't want to have children are not that honest.
emotionally incapable? I feel like I hear this a lot...how are adults emotionally incapable...life in well developed countries is easy and nearly devoid of stressors.
I'm 25 and desperatly want children (I know I'm still young). All my life I just wanted to be a mom, I thought I'd have kids by 25, latest 27. But its difficult to find men that are emotinally mature and who want a big family... dating has become so challenging. Now even if you want to be a stay at home mom, all women now need to work because we can't rely on men to support us. It's a double edged sword, cause now I work so much, I don't have time to date someone... it's like we can't really win.
Dating now is all about what one person can get instead of getting to know and love someone.
I've also had hopes of having kids and being a father eventually, but yeah, I agree that it seems more and more bleak.
I know you didn’t ask for advice (I’m probably going to get shit for saying this)but as a woman myself I’m going to encourage you to consider finding a slightly older man. Younger men aren’t all bad but they can be a little immature. I grew up pretty sheltered and went to a private school. When I started dating I realized that a lot of men didn’t have the values my father instilled in me growing up. You will probably need to join some kind of club so you can find someone with similar interest. Horseback riding, skiing, book clubs even church is a good place to look. Nice guys are not found in bars, clubs , or dating apps. Nice men do exist but you need to know where to look. It will also help to be nice your self, not a overweight purple haired feminist
That hates men. Get in shape. Join a group that has similar interest to you and don’t rule out men that are 10, 15 or even 20 years older. Many men in this age group have been crapped on by ex wives and are a little jaded. You will need to be nice and patient if you find someone and don’t be too clingy to quickly. Be nice and you’ll find someone. My friend is with someone 20 years older. They are both happy. Best of luck!
@@happygolucky1244terrible advice. The bigger the age gap, the more likely one is to divorce.
@@happygolucky1244 you're telling this young woman to settle for a jaded old divorced man?? insane. a man must have written this lol
@@happygolucky1244 I can understand a 5 year age gap (maybe 10 years too) but 15 to 20 years is ridiculous. Also she doesn’t have to lower her standards for some divorced man because I know those same men would never go for divorced women
In order for a woman to want to have kids she NEEDS a partner who loves, provides, and nurtures her so she's available and nurtured herself enough to put the attention into having and raising children. Without the man supporting the equation the prospect of doing it alone is beyond what most would intentionally get themselves into.
"In order for a woman to want to have kids she NEEDS a partner"
Young females already limit their ambitions for a child and has sex with dozens of mostly strange males well before this ideal partner shows up
@@GK-op4oc that's not even true. Most women aren't sleeping with dozens of strangers. Why aren't any of these men leading things forward sharing their desire for a relationship, marriage, family? The onus of moving things forward falls on men. They pursue, propose, and initiate. Kind of hard to be a girlfriend, wife, and mother if men aren't asking for these things from women. It's hardly a wonder women "prioritize" their careers when men are failing to establish anything meaningful. What else is there?
@@thestorybehindthat5236 The onus falls on the man? I thought we left gender roles in the past? SOUNDS SEXIST TO ME
@@munkqiking7207 kind of hard to be in a relationship or marriage without a man who wants to make that happen.
well its cause men were taught to get a body count cause women want a man who know what to do so guys dont want to put that out there cause they figure i have to be with like hundred women before she will like me so im just going to pump and dump and women took the guys who said anything just to get in there pants as we are only going to go for the guys that can sweet talk us and have that bad boy energy which made more guys become like that so i know so many guy that want that but cause the women kinda just ignore him cause he the one to want to respect them and wait for that right moment they are off put by it cause every other guy wanted to get in her pants right away and she had make him play a game to get it where she just passes on him it not all on the men it on the women like everyone thinks it just oh the perfect guy will just walk up and day one you will know day one and everything will just fall into place and youll live happy ever after is not the reality both sides nee to own up and realize that it take work to have a relationship and it not just going to magically appear
I'm 28 and unfortunately childless. I want kids. I want to be a mother. I just have to find the man who will be a good husband for me. I want to learn the selflessness that comes from being a mother. I want to learn the patience and understanding that sacrificing and serving someone else comes with. A healthy family is more precious than any material possession or other experience. I feel rather passionate about that.
You got this
🥺
You prob ain't gonna have kids if you haven't already, it's just the fatc of life ...if you do if it will be with some slub you don't respect
@@axeSyntax that's probably the best relationship advice i've heard
You're running out of time so may I suggest you look less for a good fit for you n more for a good fit for the future kids good dad's seldom are perfect partners ,I should know I'm a father of 3 ,I'm not the perfect man/partner as I'm not a simp or a yes man, but I'm a damn good dad .
The cost of having kids is insane. Just go to the store and just look at how much formula and diapers cost. It's not that people don't want to have kids, its that people don't have the money to have kids.
We have people in this world who believe children are cheap 😅😅😅😅
@@juicemane7655 As long as fed min is $7.25 an hour, you'll see a lot of people working full time who qualify for benefits. How do you know a random customer doesn't have a job?
You can easily say that's expensive, when you can freely profiteer off of the children of others when you get older, through society and your social system. But if children only provide for their own families, like in the way older days, then you'll start seeing the even bigger cost of not having children.
Blabber dribbles. I'm a teacher and I can afford my 1 year old just fine. You are all afraid of the big bad wolf on this one!
Simply buy reusable diapers.
I have a 6 months old baby (our first) and yes, it is VERY difficult but rewarding. I am not stressed in taking care of her. What I’m stressed about daily is not working (not being able to return to work or continue where I left).
The other day an elder woman told me “Why did you resign from your job???” with a stern expression in her face when I told her I had to because of a pregnancy-diagnosis (that would have affected the baby had I not opted to take an early leave), the delivery, and childcare responsibilities. There is so much that is expected from a woman compared to a man when it comes to having children and raising them.
The woman needs to carry and deliver a “healthy” baby, take care of that baby, do house chores (cook, wash plates, clean, do laundry etc etc) and ALSO WORK. Because if not, the budget will be tight, and people will always have many things to say.
If you don’t work, to take care of the baby or homeschool, you’re LAZY. You prioritize work, you’re NOT A GOOD MOTHER AND WIFE. I know I shouldn’t be thinking what others will say anymore but try hearing that everyday (and even from you in-laws) and you’ll start doubting and even hating your life.
I love my baby. She is my world. My life. BUT PEOPLE SHOULD JUST MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS and let women do what they think are best for them. Stop being judgmental when you yourselves don’t know how difficult it is to have children.
Nah, sounds more like you resent that your husband is not earning enough for you to be a stay at home wife, not helping you around the house like you want, not sticking up for you against comments your in laws tell you (that you perceive as bad) and all this makes you overly sensitive to others' innocent questions/comments perceiving them as "stern" or mean. This makes you generalize about men and cry about how good they have it while women suffer.
@@alexialira3839 I suppose you are correct. Guess I should just fight with my husband every single day God has made and tell my in-laws and other people to F off. Better maybe I should just disappear from this Earth. While you feel so comfortable typing in your room being a keyboard warrior and telling people what their reality is.
What a sad, wretched life I indeed have.
@@alexialira3839 Sounds like you're childless and one of those women who makes comments to other women about jobs and work you don't do.
Do people not realise that if people who don’t want children and are forced to have children will be terrible parents most of the time ?
Wish you told that to my mother-in-lw
Finding a mate who won't bail when life gets hard with children is one in a billion these days. Add that to the downward trend of culture, inflation, mental illness and a lack of help...my child would deserve better than what I could provide them.
Amen AMEN
there are good men out there ,you won't find them on a dating app ,or a bar though.
@@raymorphis5714 Bad men masquerade as good men, but not everyone finds it worth the risk.
@@xejelah LIFE IS RISK, you risk your life every single day,when you go out when you use a knife,the real term for risk is FEAR you CANNOT live in fear or you have NO LIFE AT ALL!
@@raymorphis5714 sure there are, but only a few. Their are billions of nice women for them out there. Not every women will have the luck to get a good one. I definitely stopped looking for one. Way to much work and the risk that he will turn on you even when you thought he’s a decent guy is extremely high.
My parents made it look miserable and I was a good kid. They worked and complained nonstop. No thanks. I would only have a kid if I could guarantee they wouldn’t have to join the rat race.
The rat race is the least of their worries
Snap back to reality
@@pocoloco7868what do you mean by that?
_"You'll never know until you try"_ is an argument I hear so many times from people; the more it's said, the quicker it dawns on me that those who live by this creed are crabs in a bucket. You'll never know until you try, then you're stuck with a growing human child. The world is so obsessed with childbirth and child-rearing that they think being single and/or child-free is a sad and lonely existence. CF people still go outside bro.
Having kids is something I've gone back and forth with myself over, but the older I get, the prospect of not having them grows on me. I'm sure kids spice life up and make moments more precious for parents of all ages, races, etc., but there's something tranquil about getting up in the morning and being able to do what you want without having to sacrifice a couple decades of your life for that privilege.
As for regrets, life is full of them. The only thing you can do with regrets is acknowledge them and move on. It's part of life.
Totally agree with you - I find that “you never know until you try” thing really annoying. It’s not like going into a shop to buy some clothes and then having the time to decide if you like it or not. It’s a kid! A whole person who is going to be completely dependent on you for years. I don’t have to try everything to know it’s not for me. I know I wouldn’t want to go jump into a well (even though I’ve never tried). I don’t need to do it to know I won’t like it.
And yes, exactly. Life is full of regrets and having kids is such a big decision that will engulf everything else that regretting not having one is basically romanticising what could have been (if I ever come to regret it that is). I’m sure bringing us back to reality will help - kids are a 24/7 job and if we don’t want that, it’s nothing to regret.
I am a 52 year old man and never had kids, never wanted one and do not regret this choice. This discussion about the sustainability of the anthropocene is completely ludicrous. Have children if you are at a comfortable place in your life and want them. As far as i am concerned this is a personal choice period!
Exactly.
Same here. I’m pushing 50, no wife, no kids, it’s not the end of the world, nor is the sky falling.
@@jonathanaldecoa1099 Not for you no, you won't ever have to deal with the decline in population.
I'm 40 now. The older I get the more I'm convinced with my decision of not having kids. Such a blessing in this times
Good for you. Believing billionaires is one of THE STUPIDEST THINGS AN AVERAGE PERSON CAN DO. 😎🥳😂
I think mental health awareness has also made an impact on why people are not having kids this days. The fact that people realized how trauma passes from one generation to another and that many decide to look for therapy to feel better has led to plenty of people, myself included who don't wanna have kids or won't have them until they have healed a little bit from all the carried trauma. For me is the fear that the depression that runs in my family and I clearly have reflects badly if I have a kid in the shape of a postpartum depression that leads to self harm or that if it is not tackled I can mentally hurt my children like my grandparents did to my parents and they did with me without knowing it.
Although it sounds reasonable at first but kids help to overcome stuff too. Children advance yourself too because for once in you are not only thinking about yourself.
People are too extreme about themselves. Like this girl at 39 still "figuring herself"...
At some point you got to slow that mental breakdown and come back down to earth. Do some sport and stop overthinking it change the brain chemical and makes the mind so much more happier and positive and everything become easy and possible...
@@legion1791nah as guy can say girl right. We live in men world. And men world sucks cause men emotional, weak, wild, schizo, bipolar
@@Corey91666 if you're expecting kids to be your "medicine" or "therapist" then you're fucked. not saying that the phenomenon you're describing can't happen, but how many cases of that actually do happen and it's not just the kids getting neglected and trauma gets passed down onto the kid cuz the parent had no business having one.
@@xaevius5319 what im talking about is the ability to realize that you are less important than your child and that you must get your shit together now to care for your child.
Thats what im talking about. Most people lack self reflection. But a child can help with that.
That being said i dont think you should get kids to solve your own personal issues.
It blows my mind that you don’t have hundreds of thousands of followers. Your content is amazing. The open-minded interviewing style, the questions, the research, the commentary, the nuance - thank you for producing these videos.
I think the decline is due to more and more people being unhappy with their lives and unwilling to force a child to experience the pain that they've had to endure.
Yes, the younger generations are more logical and compassionate.
It do be like that
I feel like people focus on the “hard” part of having children and make their decision based on that, but everything in life has “hard” parts. Relationships, jobs, friendships etc. Everything has its moments. But the love of your child, the moments of seeing them grow, witnessing the world through their fresh eyes - to me, those balance the hard parts. For some people, going out after work balances a hard work day. For me, watching my son play or when he randomly hugs me balances the hard parts of parenthood. You just gotta figure out which “hard” you’re willing to deal with. For me, having kids is the kind of “hard” I want in my life. It has more value to me then the other “hard’s” that are out there.
I think the difference is when we face personal challenges, they are that. Personal. My decisions I make will affect others very little. Having a child, mistakes I make will affect the entire outcome of how that child turns out.
*>> I feel like people focus on the “hard” part of having children and make their decision based on that, but everything in life has “hard” parts*
So, basically, every parent is a Dark Souls enjoyer.
@@shedontlove8490 Life for everyone is Dark Souls, but parents play it on Depraved mode.
What if u just don’t like children. Cause istg I find children extremely annoying and ugly.
My perspective is different. I see it from the child's perspective more than my own. Will the child be happy here? based on depression statistics, and all the bullshit I see happening in this world, I don't know. I'm willing to deal with the hardships though, but simply through adoption, rather than bringing someone here.
The thing for me is, you have to find a good partner to have a child with. And then be able to afford said child or children. Kids are so expensive nowadays that it is why many people don’t have kids or they have one maybe two kids. Besides this world is so screwed up, some people don’t want to bring more people into it. I also do think it is perfectly fine to be child free. But yes we are running into a population crisis where there is more old people than young people.
Kids are as difficult and expensive as you allow them to be.
@@buu.888 facts dude🤣🤣 people just don't know how to budget, I'm a gen Z and they make it seem harder then it is🤣🤣just make more than 19$+ plus and you'll be fine it sounds crazy but it's true 🤣
@@buu.888 exactly!
@prod yung 829 you are mental if you think 19$ can support a family.
@@yung829 The majority (57%) of U.S. adults are currently unable to even afford a $1,000 emergency expense, yet you think most of them can afford to have kids? Lol.
I just know this is gonna be another gen banger, we appreciate all the amazing content❤
My bloodline ends with me...FACTS
That shit show ends with me lol
Also the bloodline of any future partner for her cuz it takes two to make a child 😂
@@Lucywilliams-s3cWho cares?
Why should I give a single shit about the bloodline of a woman I've never met and never will?
@@winterwulf1995 you ignored the part of my comment that talks about her future partner which makes me believe that you actually care 😂😂
@@Lucywilliams-s3cif mental gymnastics ever becomes an Olympic event then you'd win gold
Both sides need to understand that the same cookie cutter life style isn’t for everyone. I’ve seen way more parents shame people for not having kids than vice versa. People see those without kids as lesser and a waste of space. Not everyone is fit to be a parent. With so many trash parents out there you would think someone making the mature decision to not force themselves to be a parent when they don’t think they’re fit, would be a blessing. Don’t shame people for being parents and don’t shame people for not being one. Leave people alone.
Completely agree, some people should definitely not be parents, but a lot of people don’t see themselves being parents, almost entirely because they cannot give up the lifestyle that they live. You need to grow up and mature to be able to take of children. Saying you won’t have kids because you don’t think you’d be a good parent is not mature
Such a loser mentality
Its sad to say but loser parents usually have loser kids as well.
@@aqwluknessmon you make an interesting point. If not wanting children is because people don’t think they will be fit to be a parent because maybe they lack the maturity in whatever regard that may be, I think that’s commendable. While I would say, almost all parents felt that way and ended up being great parents…still understandable nonetheless. However, if the reason why you don’t want children is because you want to travel or “be able to do whatever I want whenever I want” and still preaching that past mid twenties…I’d say that’s immature. Or course that’s just my opinion.
Because like you said, they can’t look past lifestyle…you are absolutely correct. And it’s very sad to see society decline in this way. In my experience, more women are shamed for having children and staying home than those who choose not to have any children at all. They’re seen as “successful” and “contributing to society” where as SAHM’s are viewed as “putting women back 50 years” as if to imply some sort of oppression. Also, can’t go a day without a “look at my amazing life, I do what I want because I don’t have kids” post. How many moms do you see posting “look at my amazing life because I chose to raise the next generation over a consumerist driven lifestyle”
Again, just my opinion/experience.
I completely agree.
Father of three here. Children definitely take up a lot of time and energy, but they it's also incredibly rewarding--though my wife deserves most of the credit for that. Helping them to become critical thinkers that can articulate their thoughts, participate civilly in society, and work towards their goals has been a beautiful journey. My career is fun, but is nowhere near as rewarding as raising youngsters to grow into their personalities and talents.
100% agree.
This is what kind of thinking people need in US.
like you said its time and energy consuming raising a kid without being financially stable leads to poverty.
@@adamantobserver8655 but its a dream lol never will happen in the land of satanism
@@myst1049 agreed
I think it's easier for Men to take the step to become a parent.
For women it's more than money and time, it's about your body changing, the breastfeeding, how uncomfortable the pregnancy is, the pain of giving birth, giving up for some time to your career and goals, and after all, that you partner can literally leave you and you will have mostly the entire responsibility. Go check out how many single moms who don't get the necessary from their children's father.
Most people who don't want to have kids are actually thinking about the kid. Most people who have kids are actually thinking about them and how kids will benefit them so how is that being selfish?
Yep nailed it
Men get women pregnant and that is it. They barely soend time with their kids and the responsibility of raising the kids falls on the mother while all the dad does is pay for stuff in many cases.
Facts !❤
@@turquesa_8056
Don’t put it like that. Father have to work in order to bring the income for the mother and kids to survive. I swear people love to paint the dad as the bad guy. This is one of the reasons why so many women are single moms. They blame the father for things out of his control. Communication is key to a good relationship but talk about her relationship to everyone but the person in the relationship expecting them to just know.
A lot of single moms are single because they couldn’t communicate with their man, or work through the hard times. Marriage is for better or for worse till death do you part. A lot of women running from their marriage when life gets a little hard. The data doesn’t lie. Divorce rate is 50% and out of the 50% 80% of marriages are ended by women. Single moms are also single moms because they choose bad men. Like the RUclips video says. 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of guys. Those guys don’t want to be fathers, they have a buffet of women to have fun with.
There's something important that I'd like to add, I've seen elderlies who feel alone despite having kids. If my partner and I decide to stick to be childfree or non-parent, we will do our best to cultivate & maintaining healthy, real relationships with our friends, extended family, and community.
There's ways to build a community of support without family by connecting with others locally. Being childfree or single doesn't mean you'll end up lonely.
I’m confused by your statement. There can be many reasons why the elderly can feel alone. Maybe their husband is no longer with them. Many elderly people don’t have the same friends they’ve had. They’re reflecting their life. I want kids but I don’t expect them to always be there for me. Plus you’re already supposed to want to have meaningful relationships being a parent or not
I love how GEN manages to take both sides of the perspective with little bias and put it into one extremely entertaining video.
So many people having children that they can't feed and or give them a loving home.
Having children is a luxury💯
Having kids is not a luxury
@@Lady500-x6p maybe not in this society with you demons
I’d rather not have kids and regret it later on in life than have kids and regret having them… I’m not too keen on pregnancy and if I ever decided to have children it would be adoption … there are so many children already out there that need parents - there is no need to have your own tbh
If you raised them right, they're not burdens but blessings to you. Parenting is not easy, but when you do it right, the rewards are worth it.
Do you have any idea how expensive and hard adoption and the porcess is ?
@@kermitfreak193 very aware - both my brothers are adopted
@@Closing-v9sEasy for you to say
43 yrs old. Never wanted kids for various reasons and i don't regret my choice. In fact i always say thank god i don't have kids 😂😂🎉
Childfree bachelor, 43. Been surviving on my own for almost half my life, and I'm getting by just fine. Children were never in my life plan.
43…. You couldn’t have them if you wanted them.
@@AhminaIsmaelPretty sure she meant in her younger years she never got kids, and is living her best life now.
@@ivoryzzyzx yeah right.
@@ivoryzzyzx she never had kids because she’s infertile.
Me and my wife decided well and before we got married that we both did not want kids, and the older i get, the more sure i am that it was the right choice. We cannot afford a house, the world is inching closer to nuclear war, climate change is an issue not to be ignored, and corporations find every way they can to screw over the populace, same can be said of governments. I don't know how i would react to find out my son or daughter got scammed out of all their money and have to move back home. I don't want to find out if i inherited my fathers temper and see fear in my kids eyes. Sure me and my wife wont have anyone to take care of us when we are old, but i also think that is a very selfish motivation to have kids.
The list goes on with us, we are in our mid 30's now and are happy just being with each other and doing what we like when we can, while also just surviving in a world quickly becoming more unstable, expensive and predatory.
Also, the concern with population collapse is really that our cities and civilizations have grown to a size that in order to maintain them as they are we need to equal replacement of the populace, and in order to grow them, we need more people. But a constricting of the population is not necessarily a bad thing, people will just have to adapt to living with smaller populations and smaller cities. The increase in vacant homes could be used to house the homeless even. Its not like NOBODY is having kids, just less than historically we have and each has their own reasons for it.
Exactly the same case here.. happily married 16 years and happily childfree.
No such thing as climate change
@@Priya-rf7ov Married 14 years, and same :)
Gen, you're doing an incredible job!!!
I've been wanting to ask thought-provoking questions for a few years now, but because of fear, I haven't even tried it.
You're very inspiring!!
It's better to regret not having kids than to regret having kids
Agreed!
But who is out here wishing they didn't have their kids?
@Irene Gonzalez, mine did :(
@@irenegonzalez201 many people regret having kids, many people have come out saying that they regret having kids
@@therealgrimreaper68 they have no way of knowing how their life would have turned out without the kids though...
as a mother, i can say for sure i would never do it again. no matter what. 😭
The only thing that makes me happy is being by myself
Same here; I know exactly how you feel.
I’m the same way.
Same it’s just easier
So…vanity
Same
Im just glad that some are considerate enough to think what a would-be child will go through in world we live in today.
Its a horrific world. Not trying to make people feel badly, but its bad.
@@wheatstonebridge funny though that people think so badly about todays world. History-wise, which period was better than todays age? In fact, live has never been easier than it is today.
@@yume7335 Respectfully disagree. Just look at the boomer generation who had way better job opportunities than us. Could earn and save up money and raise a family on one income. Majority of us milliannials and gen z will never own a house.. all we own is studentloan debt until we die. Sure we have it easier technologically but quality of life has declined. Not to mention environmental issues that will only get worse from now on. And you can argue if the internet was really that good for us. We're glued to our phones 24/7 and are way more aware of the world's problems that make us depressed. I miss the 90s that felt more real to me and the problems seemed small. Just a few examples. My main reason why I will not have kids is because I never got to enjoy my childhood and I have a lot to catch up to.. too much trauma to heal from as well. I can barely take care of myself, I would never wish my struggles to a child. Not until the world and system change.
@@Kamitube For the "boomer generation", war was essential. And I don't think a war on a scale we had back then is an option. as bad as you think it is,.. living standard in average is better, child mortality or mortality in general is at its lowest, mobility at its highest, traveling to hawai, bali etc.? affordable now, back then only for a few rich people... environmental issues? the issues beijing faces now (massive air pollution) was a problem in every bigger city in the west back then.. I kinda get the feeling that you compare rich or better situated family to nowadays average people. Anyway, I respect your decision to not have kids. Still I believe our world is a lot better than a lot people think it is and every generation will face its own problems... since as you said yourself, phone 24/7 make us more aware of the world's problems,... but also, a lot of news make it look worse than it actually is (sensational journalism)...
@@andrewjensen1955 I never said it was easy for everyone, but it's easier for most people in average. A slave population? What are you talking about? Cherrypick history? I'm actually not cherrypicking here, as I said, that todays generation has generally speaking best living standard in avarage compared to every other period in human history.
I don’t care what anyone thinks I’m still not having children.
Respect
My opinion is people wanted to see their kids suffer like they did with kids , to show why it was hard for them . I say run with your wants .no one elses
Same!
People who don’t want kids have been propagandized against their nature. When the time comes and it’s getting too late, people regret it.
That what some people would like us to believe but my time came and went and I have zero regrets, a lot of times I hear people say I would regret. It it was men who wanted to control me through having kids with them and got angry I could just walk away from thier bs! I and all thechild free women I know are so happy we didn’t have a baby with any of the men we used to know! Blessed!
Didn't want kids, I was from a broken home. Then chose to have one at 31 because I finally felt like I was ready. I asked my husband if I seem different since having our daughter. He said that I "exude love now"
Have kids or don't have kids it's a personal choice
Women are designed for kids. They basically evolve when they have their first child.
I went from wanting 5 to wanting 0. Let me explain why: I grew up with two sisters (one is my twin) and up till when I was 19 I wanted 3-5, I was thinking how much fun it would be for the kids to have siblings to play with, just like we did. When I was 19 my mom gave birth to my baby sister, soon after her 20 years relationship to my stepdad broke down and they got divorces. My older sis lived in another country at that time and my twin was always out having fun. I saw how much my mom was struggling with everything, including depression and although she never asked me I stepped in to help her whenever I could; feeding, bathing, changing dippers etc. After all she's my mom and my best friend. I saw how much hard work it cost to rasie a child and I wasn't even the primary care giver. As selfish as it might sound to some I decided that being a mom is just not for me. I love my little sis, who just turned 14. I also love my freedom, sleeping in on days off, not having to work certain hours or depend on somebody to help. I am child free by choice, however I still do like children.
I also had to be a mom as a child to my siblings, and it made me never want to have children. I broke down and had one because my husband wanted one. It’s still a lot of hard work. I love my child. I wouldn’t suggest anyone on the fence have kids or be forced to.
Finally a sane child free people. Looks like all child free hate children lol
Amen! Be PROUD to be CHILDFREE! Be PROUD to be ANTINATALIST!
@theultimatereductionist7592 im childfree, but im certainly not anti-nalalist. There's nothing wrong with anti-natalism, though. Please dont conflate the two as most childfree are not anti-natalist.
That is incredibly selfish, but at least you're honest. It's our job/duty to bring the next generation of humanity into the world. You don't need 5, but you should at least replace yourself.
Not selfish its a choice. Not a lot of people feel connected to parenthood and that's fine too. To each his own, but it makes sense to not have children when you do not feel neither mentally, physically, financially etc., capable to do so.
And imagine now being not just childfree, but childhate as i am. And all what i see is stupid people make stupid comments and don't think at all. Think they can fix themselves by having kids think kids not expensive and other shit
@Lisa Rob this is beautiful 💙 everyone on this path called life will find experiences that they thought that they wouldn't have due to the elements of life but I'm glad that you have this experience.
@@godofdeath8785 belive it or not, there are some parents who do a 180⁰ after swearing that they wouldn't have kids. To each his own i guess. But it would be quite a gamble to think that having a child would solve all your problems🙃
@@commentori truth that its not solve any problems like its only make more problems as and relationships. But like i don't mind people reproduce or make relationships i met some beatiful people in my life and don't matter how much i can find humans obnoxious and unpleasant deep inside i think about them as about beatiful beings. But i really think if majority wouldn't reproduce this world would be much better place. And ye i know that i am as well can be obnoxious and unpleasant for someone
As a Nigerian woman living in Nigeria I have never met a woman who didn't want kids. Whenever I say I don't want children people look at me like I'm crazy,they say things like "all women must have children"😂😂, "I've never heard a woman say something like this", " stop cursing yourself cos you will regret these words" 😂😂, "stop trying to adopt the white man's culture"😂😂. It's crazy y'all. If a woman is childless, unmarried or both most people assume she's suffering and on the verge of self harm 😂😂🙆
Child free Nigerian Igbo women here! I totally agree there are too many unwanted kids here
@@autumxxleaves4186 Too many sis🤧
@@autumxxleaves4186 In Africa lack of education sex education and birth control is a huge problem and that’s why they are overpopulating and people have no idea the resources will be running out in Africa poverty will keep increasing and more and more people are going to start to be a burden for the corrupt government 😭😭😭
Same in ethiopia lol
@@vitaminprotein7786 oh mister educated indian with soon to be a world leading nation in population with a billions of people , that's greater than the whole continent of Africa 55 countries population combined , thanks for your education 😂
Europe and thier education is going extinct in a hundred years , there will be no more white people walking on this earth , sad truth
Less people equals more open lanes on the highways, less lines, more seats available in subways.
100k congrats man your videos are deserving of more keep up the good work
We need to stop concerning ourselves with population decline in certain regions. Our global population is not only being maintained, but growing.
For now but looking at projections of what will happen tells us a very sinister story
@@darrentoothill4947 That's wrong, people like musk are just scared because third world country are making more kids and white people are making less kids, he's afraid of white people being a minority.
Global population is growing, you cannot deny that
@@darrentoothill4947 From the perspective of the corporate media. They're worried they and their "donors" won't have as much expendable and cheap labor in the future. That's what it comes down to. Some make their argument knowing this, others are less self-aware. But in the end, what they're saying is we can't maintain the status quo with this change in population. But then, is the status quo really worth preserving if people come to the conclusion that they don't want new people to suffer in it?
The wrong people are reproducing
Too expensive to live, and taxes are way too high.
One working person can't support family of 4.
That's all relative. We are a family of 6 and my husband is the only one that works. All depends on location and lifestyle factors.
@@kateri35 yes. correct. Very few people will do it
@@kateri35 And you feel good about yourself? Why don't you get a job, instead of letting your husband to do all the work.
@GamingAndChill because neither my husband nor me wants me to work. We have traditional Christian beliefs and we both believe my role as a wife and mother is in the home caring for our family. My husband is the head of the household and part of him receiving my submission and respect is he protects and provides for us. Not everyone needs to scribe to your values and beliefs to have values or a way of life that is valid.
@@GamingAndChill He's already too brainwashed at this point
As a person with 2 kids and pregnant with a 3rd I am GLAD people are choosing to not have kids. It’s a lot of work. My sister has chosen not to have kids and is having a wonderful life.
I hate thinking people should feel forced to have kids.
You can be happy without kids. I was. I don’t regret my kids at all but it’s a huge commitment.
I’m sure there are positives and negatives. Don’t look at your sister as having a better life than yours. More importantly don’t use your kids as a hinderance or excuse, live your life to the fullest(doesn’t mean selfish).
Poor babies...A mother who regret having kids seems its unfair to the kids.
@@rajeshrdrd8036 You will find that people do not often love or embrace things in their lives that they never wanted in the first place. That includes children.
@@Childfree334facts
that's what i'm saying; it's not a contest! each choice has its positives and negatives, and people just need to choose what's best for themselves.
i'm in my late 30's, and very happy i chose to stay childfree.
As a woman, I don’t really want kids. I spent my life raising my sisters so I no longer want kids and want some “me” time to do my own things. As someone from a family with a ton of kids, I know what it’s like for mothers and fathers to make sacrifices for them. Once you give birth to a human being, you have to teach it morals and set it on a straight path so that they don’t become another monstrous product of rotten society. But that is an extremely difficult process since not every child learns their lesson.
So I no longer want to go through that journey ever again lmao.
As a 31 y/o woman, I knew at around age 12 kids didn't appeal to me. I kept being told I'd change my mind when I got older, nope, if anything it's even MORE unappealing lol. For me, I can barely survive myself. Rent is over 3k, food cost is outrageous, gas is almost $5 a gallon.. how do I add another person into the mix? People have kids they can't afford and their kids pay the price by being forced into poverty from birth. It's not fair.
Blue haired girl summed it up for you pretty well. ‘That would limit the amount of money I could spend on me!’
My grandparents all had kids when they were completely impoverished, and their kids all turned out successful, independent, and well adjusted.
Don’t confuse self absorption with virtue.
@@Noplayster13 its not self absorption to choose not to suffer. it isn't selfish to force poverty onto others. but is is horrible to tell others they're horrible for not wanting something especially when they aren't harming anyone else.
@@MohammedAli-hl4mr They are harming me by destroying my civilization. Upside down birthrates lead to societal collapse.
Strange that this is the wealthiest, most pampered, most spoiled generation, and yet they are the only one in history that can’t reproduce. Give me a break.
Where are you living that rent is over three grand? Just asking so I never move there. That's like 4 times the going price for a decent apartment here
@@MohammedAli-hl4mr Nobody in America is actually poor, maybe the Native Americans on reservations. Even the poorest Americans are incredibly blessed by historical standards. Kids do not care either. They don't even know they're poor.
There are so many people who have kids who shouldn’t be parents. Imagine all the psychological trauma on a kid knowing they were a mistake, or a child born of rape, or their parents are drug addicts, have severe mental illness, are sociopaths, etc.
Exactly
Brain washed religion ?
The people that shouldn’t be parents… shouldn’t hold jobs either. That’s where y’all get it wrong. They have major deficiencies period. Y’all try to act like they are great but just not ready. No.
Those scenarios do exist, but the child is not doomed. I suggest looking into those who have overcome. There is hope
Jesus is alive✝️♥️
Truly look into those that have overcome.
@@GodSoLoved.YeshuaAs a Christ follower here is where I stand on this matter. I don’t think everyone should be a parent. Those who are incapable should not.
I don’t get how anyone can get mad at people not wanting kids. Those people who get mad aren’t going to raise or feed those kids. They will just sit online and gasp when someone with no parental instinct is a bad parent. And while having or not having that instinct shouldn’t excuse poor parenting, it can contribute to it.
Also, plenty of people who want to be child free are good with children, but they don’t want that in their lives, and that’s also okay.
It’s so dumb to be upset at someone else not wanting kids.
Misery loves company, they get mad because I (a woman) invalidate the struggle they went through with their kids by saying I don’t want kids. Almost like slap in the face when I say i don’t want it. They didn’t have that choice so you shouldn’t either. I think they didn’t know why they did it except because of societal pressures. They’re mad I stood my ground instead of listening to others and they didn’t. If you ask a lot of the older woman, they all say they had them because they were told or that was what was expected of them. Not because they personally wanted them.
They get mad because not wanting to reproduce is going against simple natural instincts! Every live form on this planet tries to have offspring in their lifetime because it’s biologically hardwired but because humans have evolved so much that different mentalities can change whatever we are hardwired to do! I understand people who don’t want kids but at the same time I also understand people who can’t fathom the same thought
I’ve never met someone who says they don’t want kids, be good with children, in fact they seem to hate them and are type of people who want childfree zones
@@jamal202z2 Maybe you don’t get out much, because I have. Just because you haven’t, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
@@Quebonitoeslobonito123 nah I get out plenty, I walk, around 7 miles every day. I’m just stating what I see and I’ve seen and spoken to people (women) who are childfree and seem to just despise kids, like there are genuinely people out there persisting that Disney have Adult only days in their theme parks. Disney is for CHILDREN. Period. And if seeing children enjoying themselves in a park DESIGNED for them upsets that much then you need help.
Most people with this mentality seem to be those “childfree and proud” people. I even had the the liberty to speech to one in real life at my college. It was a painful experience.
Man we need 2-3 of these per week! You're doing an amazing job
Nah man, if he starts pumping these out faster their quality will inevitably decline. I'll take an excellent video once a month over a dozen mediocre ones every week
I have a second channel exactly for this. Check it out:
youtube.com/@moreGEN
There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids.
I want my civilization to not collapse. So… yeah, there’s a problem.
Absolutely.
@@Noplayster13 So do your part and raise a brood of a dozen children. God will provide.
@@txlyons2937 I have 5 kids so far. How about you?
Not ENOUGH babies are being born
Society needs to change to be able to support people to even have kids. If they don't let society burn
I don't think that'll make any difference anyways.
From the moment we let people have a choice to have kids (which I agree with) then there will always be people that just won't want to have kids no matter how much support they'll get.
Having children is mostly a cultural issue and not really an economic one. There's never an "ideal" time to have kids where everything is set in stone. I guess in the past, religions got round that problem by genuinely making it as a "duty" and persuading even the poorest by saying that women especially will be rewarded the most by God if they produce an offspring.
Nowadays, with the rise of secularism and atheism, people have kids because they just want to and it is no longer framed as a duty.
As a father of three… I agree. We still pay on fuckin taxes every year 😂
Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Everyone might not want kids, but building a solid community around you is necessary for a good life
Who the hell compares kids to community? If you having kids because you don't want to be alone,then you shouldn't have kids at all
I do not want a relationship, and I will be happy and healthy.
@@AiA-Airsoft friends are also a relationship
you vill have nothing
you vill eat the bugs
and you vill be happy
I believe you also need kids in your community. Being an uncle or auntie can be more suited for some people than having your own children. Parents also need a community to raise their children. No one can take care of children 24/7 for at least 18 years all by themselves.