I really hate when people say fi function is so selfish. As an infp, many of us are one of the most empathetic people. But personally, if I do hate somebody which is rare, it's usually bc of them making me not able to express my personal value or just being such an a**hole for minding my own business
I know a lot of Fe people who spend all their time gossiping. They suck up to people above them, then are brutal to anyone the group decides doesn't fit their standards. Fi in some cases is not as good with social graces, but we're more likely to treat everyone well.
As an ENFP, when I’m trying to empathize with others that are feeling an emotion I haven’t yet felt before myself, I literally feel myself internally accessing old memories and emotions like some databank, trying to piece together fragments of emotions to try and approximate what I think the other person is going through as I ask them more and more questions to fine tune my empathy towards them. Ultimately I understand I am not feeling exactly what they are feeling but I do my best. On the other hand, if I’ve experienced the same circumstance, all it takes is for me to watch a scene in a movie for me to just tear up like a baby because access to those emotions and memories are so easy.
As an ENFJ, yeap. That's Fe. Once I comented to someone (years before even knowung about MBTI) that I cant feel excitment about anything I do if nobody tells me that what I'm doing is exciting. I also feel the need to justify every decision I make to people that barelly acknologe my existance. I need to work on this. I would say that Fe can be more like a big eye allways judging you, so you need to be allways perfect, allways rigth, allways virtuous or the eye will judge you. Its the function that seeks outside validation to justify the self
As an infp, with the opposite function (Fi), I relate 100% to your second and third paragraph. I think there's more to it than just "having Fe" or "having Fi", but it provides a good starting point for understanding. Some of what you wrote to me it seems it has more to do with enfj Fi nemesis, which is constantly judging itself, so seeks outside validation through hero Fe, to soothe Fi nemesis worry. That's how I understand it. My Fi hero, as much as I feel my feelings very strongly, my non-existant Ti makes it hard for me to understand feelings and make sense of them. I need, with my Te inferior, other people to explain my feelings to me, and my Fe nemesis makes me worry that maybe the group does have a better value system than my own if other people don't feel the same about it as I do. So I can end up having the same experience as you in that way.
I'd say Fi actually feels closer to other people because you understand them as individuals, and you focus on knowing their true selves, with all their flaws. Fe can have an ostrich effect about what other people actually are. You also missed out on the fact that Fi impacts morality. People on the Fi track have morals and principles that they believe in (What these are varies person by person). I'm not sure how morals interact with Fe.
Fi tends to have deep, well-rooted morals, while Fe has a wider range of more flexible morals. This does not mean flexible by situation, but flexible in developing them with others. Fi morals are more adaptable to various situations, while Fe looks for blanket morals than can apply to a ton of situations, but can lead to ignorance of moral nuances. Both are just as moral and caring in different ways. It's just that one is wide and one is deep.
@@marycumming8461 Interesting. Just outside of MBTI, I tend to view "wide" to be less caring than "deep." Wide sound shallow and surface. Deep sounds like someone who actually knows you and cares. But that may be the limit of my own perspective.
@jenniferhanses That's a good point. In this case, I think wide vs deep is more like a canned food drive (I hope you don't mind the analogy). One person gets as many cans as possible with their money, while another person buys a few good quality cans. Both are important in different ways, and I wouldn't say either is any less caring. Both may be needed for different purposes. My husband is Fi and I'm Fe. When he's struggling, I give him the tools to find and keep in touch with himself, which he appreciates as an Fi. When I'm struggling, he's just there to comfort me and listen, which I appreciate as an Fe. There are times when I smother him trying to make sure everything is okay when he needs to reflect on his own, and times when he neglects making sure I'm okay because he knows he cares and intends to do the right thing. Both have their pros and cons. Does that help make sense of it?
My style allows me to help more people, which he admires, and his style allows him to invest deeply into close friends and family, which I really appreciate. I still have people I prioritize, like him, and sometimes he fails to express how he cares well, so it balances pretty well in our case for us.
I think when Fi doms try to empathize with others, they ask themselves how they would feel in the other person’s situation because they understand themselves pretty well (or they hope they do). At least, that’s what I do lol
Can confirm, it's lonely being an ISFP because I'm so aware of how nobody will ever truly get me and how I will never really understand others. And yes, I have more enemies than I can count. Especially these days when you're expected to think, say, and feel, however is the most "appropriate", social norms and trends can't control me
I think a good way to put it is that Fe is “help others than yourself” and Fi is more “help yourself than others” (generally, there are certain moments when each function does the opposite)
Hmm yes, I’m an INTJ and yesterday I personified the functions (but as dragons because I do what I want) and Fi was this entitled small child with a golden cape lol. I do understand functions but it’s just funny to tap into stereotypes once in a while.
Fe People are always aware of other people's emotions and always able to fit in with the group. But if the group develops norms of gossiping and being mean to outsiders, they can be pretty mean, even ganging up on outsiders. Fi might be oblivious at times, being too busy daydreaming or philosophizing to pay attention. They may even seem cold to strangers. But when they see something wrong, they care and will even stand against the group.
As an INTP with an INFP bestfriend, i dont think all Fi users are necessarily "selfish" and its honestly stupid to say that, cause i mean they are actually empathetic to you if they care about you and give you genuine advice even though its quite stupid, like "you dont need to care so much about what others think" "think about if it matters to you"
I relate a lot to both these functions as described here. I think feelers simply switch between Fe/Fi a lot and use both of these functions often, even if there is usually a preference. I'm Fi hero but definitely go to extreme lengths sometimes to maintain harmony and make sure nobody dislikes me, including neglecting my own feelings in the process. I've also seen Fe doms, when they feel justified (same as Fi), be absolutely brutal towards others with opposing feelings/values and be very assertive in their own values/feelings. Human psychology doesn't manifest in the extremes that stereotypes describe, but it's still a good place to start for understanding basic differences.
Yeah, I’m a lot about wanting to have a lot of people to agree. And also sometimes only trust something after everyone else is doing it. And I do want other people to be more straightforward with emotions.
This is likely why I as an INTP often get into conflicts with...I don't know what my mom's type is but I'm leaning toward one of ISFP, INTJ, or ENTJ. She keeps criticizing me for thinking of others, sometimes including _her,_ at the expense of my well-being. The truth is...I don't mind. It energizes me. It makes me feel like a superhero sometimes. Besides, I already have a lot of mental and physical strength (I enjoy working out, especially boxing, 'cause I love violent video games) so why leave it to do nothing? Especially if I did something wrong prior-I am a firm believer in providing restitution. And in case some readers may be doubting if I'm really an INTP...well, I already prepared for that eventuality because of Ne even though thankfully, no one has questioned my INTP typing before. But I'm still doing it anyway with Ti to help readers gain a clearer (but not necessarily practical) understanding. And I guess I only feel others' pain at a surface level using Si to visualize myself experiencing something similar, especially if it actually happened to me in the past; I rarely feel what other people feel deeply unless they're emotionally close to me like my girlfriend. Oh, and I'm very likely to miss external details like objects a few inches away so my mom often rages at the things I do that are associated with Se blindness.
Well that's a very interesting view to hear from an Fi user on Fi vs Fe. As an Fe user, I would like to share my own opinion on this. Actually, in the same way Fi users can think about others, Fe users can think about themselves too. When there is things that concern them personally, they don't have other choice but to think about themselves. So they're not actually completely dependant on others. They're not totally selfless. By definition when there is nobody around, they have to think about themselves. Also, saying that if you can't understand yourself, you can't understand everyone else is a very Fi perspective cause Fi users can't understand others without relating to themselves first when Fe users can cause they can empathize with others and are really interested in others and learning them. Fe users don't need to relate to understand them. Fe users can cry for others without having to be sad first. You don't need to cry first when watching a movie to understand the person crying on screen is sad. But as you said you can't compromise with everyone. But one of the reasons why you can't always compromise with everyone is because as you said after, Fi it's not going to compromise on its own beliefs. If it could learn to do it sometimes, agreements would naturally be easier. That's one side of Fi's maturity state. Cause Fe users are organizing everyone basically, so Fe users objectives are always dependant on your own state and the choices you decide to take. So if everyone decides to be a bit more Fe, everyone can advance more easily. Fe people expect others to change their mind, at least a bit. That's the difference. You're not forced to always stay in your way, so then you can agree. I think everyone would agree that during life you can change your mind on things and evolve. And that doesn't mean you lost yourself. That just means you evolved and changed. So why couldn't you change someone's mind ? Also Fi can agree to disagree sometimes but not always. They will really go to war sometimes. And more importantly, what do you do when you can't just agree to disagree and you have to work together ? If you don't change your mind at least a bit, that's just not going to work. What if both are two very stubborn Fi people and nobody changes their mind ? You're just stuck in those situations and you just can't move on. You have no way but finding a compromise sometimes. That requires some personal effort of course but nobody said it was easy. If everybody have their smartphone and play on their side, there is no community and no unity then, everyone is single. And that's why some Fi people always stay single actually. If you're never going to change your mind and compromise, you're never going to be accepted. If everyone is a strong stubborn Fi, everyone is going to stay single forever. And there is some things you simply can't achieve only by yourself but you have to work as a team. Great things are rarely accomplished by one mind alone. Without Fe users to compromise, society wouldn't exist at all. It's 2023 but that's maybe one of the reasons why everyone says people suck and humanity is terrible, think about it. One selfish jerk for an Fi user is most likely another Fi user in the end. But you know if it was an Fe user, this person most likely wouldn't be selfish and you could see them in a positive light instead. And yes, Fi has no problem shouting its own opinion, even when others don't want it sometimes. It's not always a necessity to share what you think. It can even cause more unecessary harm or trouble sometimes. In the same way if you're friend with someone and they trust you, an Fe user will tell you. Or they won't because maybe it doesn't matter that much in the end. You don't need to share your individual feelings every time either. You're not alone. There is many other Fi users who want to be heard just like you and you're not more important than them. That's what thinkers hate and sometimes, I can see where they're coming from. It's just so important for Fi users to share their own personal thoughts. But not everyone has to care every time. Also in the same way, Fe magnifies all the similarities between people. Everyone isn't totally different or friends just wouldn't exist. Fe people need to mature as well, but they generally can less because others don't give them more importance as they do for others. Why not offering a helping hand sometimes and encouraging them to share what they think instead of just letting everyone on their own way ? You know, creating friendly connections between people. How do you expect everyone to get your feelings otherwise. The only thing Fe wants is everyone to cooperate and that everyone could be able to come to an agreement to move forward together to go further and create more ambitious projects. Because it would have positive impacts on everyone's lives. Cause when the world is happy, Fe users are happy. They don't have complicated ambitions. If you can't have the Fi views, you can be sure to have the Fe views cause at least they're more cooperative. So they're useful after all ah ah ! It's not related to the video but it just made me think that people use Fe users way too much for personal gain. And you could say it is their fault for letting that happen, but it doesn't change the fact that it's not morally right to do so. Just to mention, there is absolutely nothing personal. I just wanted to share an opposite perspective on the matter.
Very interesting, as a thinker I often don't register what I'm feeling until days later and my main motivations are to be efficient I probably don't have much to say on this. However, most of my friends are more F than T, and they are pretty good at spotting what I'm feeling something before I do, haha I did want to give my observations. I have come to the conclusion that Fe and Fi can not understand each other. Fundamentally, we can not, on a readable level, a teachable level maybe, but to truly understand eachothers perspective is impossible. That, to me, is a beautiful reality, which means more kinds of art and writing and paths in the world! However, the Fe user I said this too disagreed. She claimed to understand and empathize with my perspective. I asked her to say it back to me, and she was misinterpreting what i said and could not see that. Fi are viewed as selfish, and Fe as Selfless, Fi is viewed as strong and accepting, and Fe is viewed as weak and authoritarian. Both are wrong, and both are right. And humanity would not exist without both moving is a constant push and pull of each other. As an intj with Fe as my 7th function, it would be correctly presumed that I have a bais against Fe, and I admit that. I have personally been steam rolled by Fe authoritarianism (hearing of Fe described as selfless and spineless was a huge surprise to me, lol). There are many fictional and real-life Fe/Fi villians and Fi/Fe heros, and I think it's a very diminutive approach to think society was formed because Fe made it happen and the Fi users grew into Fe morals. That perspective is definitely a part of why Fi users don't usually trust Fe. Why comprises when you aren't seen at the same level because you experience life in a different way? And yet neither and both perspectives are the facts of life. They are because we exist and our combined perception of each other vs our perspectiion of ourselves makes them real :) which is really cool !
Yes that's just different goals. Fe people's main motivation is to make others happy. Of course, because high F people are good with emotions so they can understand it pretty easily. Just like a more T person would understand an idea pretty quickly I assume. Yeah as this other Fe user said, I disagree. I'm convinced everyone can understand each other if we succeed to empathize with one another. That requires seeing emotions in a more objective way. That's what Fi users usually fail to understand. There isn't just one way to feel. Fe people feel emotions objectively and do understand and are able to feel every type of emotion. I don't understand why being so categoric. But I feel like being a thinker first and foremost plays a big role in this. Putting yourself in someone else' shoes, feeling pain as they do, even if it's not on the same level but succeeding to simply imagine how terrible it must be when it's amplified, to me that is at least definitely possible. If an Fe user can, everyone is more or less capable of doing it. We aren't special in any way and that's what is great! I find it rather very sad to imagine this, cause that means so many kinds of art and writing that will be overshadowed, disregarded, and never truly understood. You say the Fe user you said it to misinterpreted what you said but they conveyed it with words. Do you think words are generally enough to fully convey one's emotions? I think most Fi people would disagree (principally the feeler ones). This person might also have conveyed it not with the right words for what they meant. Maybe even you partially misinterpreted what they said. Communication is just an imperfect tool to translate our thoughts and feelings. Keep in mind that people who have the Fe function necessarily have the Ti function while the people who have the Fi function necessarily have the Te function. Having the Te function generally helps to explain things more clearly when Ti users tend to have a more complex thinking process they can struggle to communicate efficiently. That leads to the main difference between Te thinkers and Ti thinkers cause Ti thinkers' motivation is truth, not efficiency in everything they do. So they'll prefer being precise rather than efficient. You can't just take one function separately without considering what constitutes a whole person. And this person said they didn't understand it but who says they can't think more about it and understand it later? Ti users also have a slower thinking process generally speaking. Hum, I would say Fi is rather seen as strong and authoritarian and Fe is viewed as weak and accepting. Yeah I agree, both are wrong and right because that's literally too sides of the same coin. I think though that humanity could exist as well, and probably better if both could stop to push and pull each other constantly, because then there would be no need for that. Anyway, History shows us that humanity makes progress in accepting and understanding each other despite the frequent isolated and superficial regression. As long as most believe in the capacity to move forward toward improvement, humanity can continue to exist safely. Indeed I think the Fe bias would be worth mentioning even though I don't take this that much into account cause I've seen INTJs totally able to get the importance of the Fe function from the moment where you show them it can serve efficiency. And actually, efficiency and respect don't have to be opposed but can totally work in harmony. Well, I know it's hard for Fi users to put themselves in someone else' shoes but when Fe users are authoritarian, you can usually just compare it to you or high Te users using the Te. That's the same kind of process actually. Yes, it may have come as a huge surprise because when Fe users are authoritarian with you they consider the needs of everyone around and the respect for their humanity. You probably wouldn't react the same way if they would defend you in a different situation though ah ah! That's another thing that is usually misinterpreted because everyone assumes all people feel like Fi users but no. When Fe users feel the need to be authoritarian it's for the feelings of others not their own and they usually don't care about themselves in the process. It has nothing to do with them actually. To be fair if we look at most heroes and the most typical heroes in fiction they're more frequently Fe users for the exact reason that they put the needs of others before their own. That doesn't mean a Fi character couldn't do it of course but for a Fe type that's typical. The ENFJ type is called "the protagonist" for a reason lol. Well, the Fe is specifically interested in forming communities and unity so that's really in the center of their goals. I don't think most people would even think about uniting otherwise, they would mostly do things on their own when you think about it. Even if it weren't for Fe people specifically it would be for Fe. Other types have other skills to help humanity in different ways after all. I think it's pretty undeniable at this point that every type grew up on Fe morals, even if they don't totally accept it and we can at least be satisfied by that. I find it to be a beautiful thing. Cause that's moral codes you have to follow in society and they allow us to maintain it. That's also one of the reasons why Fi and Fe people usually don't understand each other because Fi people usually tend to take things personally. Who even said Fi people aren't seen at the same level because they experience life differently ? Fe people don't care about the fact you experience life in a different way, they'll consider it as valuable because it is your way. That's exactly what they want everyone to respect as long as you do the same for others lol . That's a very subjective interpretation of what I just said. How maintaining society would make you on a superior level to other people exactly? Maintaining the cohesion of society is far from being the only thing that matters overall. What would be the point of maintaining it if it weren't for all the other types of people with so much creativity, skills in technical innovation, interest in life philosophy, art, economy, physical work and so on ? All of this matters as well and Fe users just want to bring it together. That kind of very personal perspective is exactly the reason why Fe users are exhausted by Fi users. So why compromise ? To share what you have to offer in a way everyone can accept and contribute to society to help everyone's lives. Why neither? Both perspectives are the facts of life since we exist. But our perception of each other (and thus of life) can only be partially true from the moment where we don't consider one's perspective of themselves though. And that is one of the most beautiful lessons we can all learn in life :D. The thing that always intrigued me though is that no matter the type, wanting efficiency or something else, the main motivation behind it is always happiness in the end. We want to do something because it makes us happier or else we don't want to live. Maybe that's why Fe users can be so misunderstood, because what they partially want is simply the universal want of every living being behind how they express it. I don't know that's just a personal theory on humanity.
@kyurei4478 I have run into many Te users who truly believe they are objective and doing what is best. They scare me because that is extremely dangerous. No one person can do just about anything objectively. It's because we are human, and our subconscious is way more in control of our thoughts and actions than we realize. Many Fe users truly believe they can feel objectively, and that's dangerous. That is impossible, and the audacity to assume you can understand another person enough to make executive decisions for most is authoritarian and egotistical. It reminds me of politicians, lol. Fe just thinking they can see all the perspectives is delusional and impossible. Te thinking I can figure out the "best" way to do something and that there are no other ways to di it better, equally delusional and impossible. People who think they know the answers or the right way things "ought" to be done, I won't trust. Maybe I am just a rebellious person who has seen to many people who "know what's best for everyone" destoy lives (I grew up in a cult ran by an ENFJ), but I can't bring myself to trust people who tell me they understand me without me bearing my soul to them, it feels fake and contrived. Usually, their "empathy and understanding" is wrong anyway, lol. The amount of times I have had to re explain myself to Fe users is insane. Fe looks down at Fi, just by believing they can see more. Fe and Fi see differently, and this probably won't make sense to you, and what you've said so far has felt like propaganda to me. But both Te and Fe can believe they got it figured out, and that's dangerously untrue. I probably won't reply again because I don't really see this conversation going anywhere, nothing personal
I really really appreciate all These views. I dont have parents who tell me this. All my friends are other Thinking types Who dont get it either😂😂😂 so i appreciate every logic opinion about Fe. (And in general i like the hint about art and the "Main character" ) 😂😂😂😂😂 For me its still hard to integrate this new knowlege in my personal life - a really thankful intj
I am a thinker, but I'm into MBTI so I kinda get what and why feelers are all about that.. feely stuff. But then again, TI is only my auxiliary cognitive function, and FE is right after it, so it's not *too* foreign.
Im an ENFP, so this relates why im too uncaring but emotional as Fi type, its like Fi types only understand themselves sometimes but they dont get other people’s feelings, so Fi type is something an example of me: crying & someone says there whats wrong When you cry as an Fi, you dont wanna say ur feeling like instead you just say “oh thats nothing i dont wanna tell you why” Bc if Fe crying, they will try to be open and will share you the reason why they cry or afterwards the Fe type needs to hug people when they cry But i dont know how to be a Fe type at all bc im an ENFP & its too hard for me to help people since this is where my heart is for, like i only understand myself but not the others One time i wanted to be an ENFJ but this doesn’t rlly work bc they are more healthier & generous compare to ENFPs like me
I was an Fe 90% till mid twenties then I switched to 85% Fi and 15%Fe... just leave me alone and do your shit... inused too worry none stop as if I was responsible for everyone and everything. Now I say I need to be fine and they are fine or will be fine and I'm going to sleep
I’m a T and I clicked on this because I knew there was a reason why INFPs and ISFPs were so selfish And Fe is a contradiction because it prioritizes eliminating the conflict over eliminating the problem. Which IS the conflict Actually I think the entire feeling preference is a contradiction for that reason. I wish I could get rid of them all and make them T’s
To summarize: It's either get depressed because of other people or get depressed because of yourself
that is a pretty good summarization 😅
Exactly 😂😭
I really hate when people say fi function is so selfish. As an infp, many of us are one of the most empathetic people. But personally, if I do hate somebody which is rare, it's usually bc of them making me not able to express my personal value or just being such an a**hole for minding my own business
Healthy Fi is not selfish, but the stereotypes of functions are rarely at there best
Exactly infps are often misunderstood -infp
I know a lot of Fe people who spend all their time gossiping. They suck up to people above them, then are brutal to anyone the group decides doesn't fit their standards.
Fi in some cases is not as good with social graces, but we're more likely to treat everyone well.
Some of the most selfish people I have known have happened to be Fe users fwiw
@@Matt-jv7fgTrying to belittle Fe users to feel better about yourself?
As an ENFP, when I’m trying to empathize with others that are feeling an emotion I haven’t yet felt before myself, I literally feel myself internally accessing old memories and emotions like some databank, trying to piece together fragments of emotions to try and approximate what I think the other person is going through as I ask them more and more questions to fine tune my empathy towards them. Ultimately I understand I am not feeling exactly what they are feeling but I do my best. On the other hand, if I’ve experienced the same circumstance, all it takes is for me to watch a scene in a movie for me to just tear up like a baby because access to those emotions and memories are so easy.
As an ENTP, the sayings "my truth" and "agree to disagree" typically grind my gears lol.
Yeah, second slot Ti doesn't tend to get a long well with subjectivity
"MY TRUTH" like bro ikr do they even know what truth means?
@Ruby_shoino lol, maybe those ppl think truth is belief? ...I would accept "MY OPINION."
@srose1088 yeah unless that opinion came out of the source "trust me bro"
@@Bigfanofwine People just be saying stuff sometimes 😂 and I gotta walk away for my own health.
As an ENFJ, yeap. That's Fe.
Once I comented to someone (years before even knowung about MBTI) that I cant feel excitment about anything I do if nobody tells me that what I'm doing is exciting.
I also feel the need to justify every decision I make to people that barelly acknologe my existance. I need to work on this.
I would say that Fe can be more like a big eye allways judging you, so you need to be allways perfect, allways rigth, allways virtuous or the eye will judge you. Its the function that seeks outside validation to justify the self
As an infp, with the opposite function (Fi), I relate 100% to your second and third paragraph. I think there's more to it than just "having Fe" or "having Fi", but it provides a good starting point for understanding. Some of what you wrote to me it seems it has more to do with enfj Fi nemesis, which is constantly judging itself, so seeks outside validation through hero Fe, to soothe Fi nemesis worry. That's how I understand it. My Fi hero, as much as I feel my feelings very strongly, my non-existant Ti makes it hard for me to understand feelings and make sense of them. I need, with my Te inferior, other people to explain my feelings to me, and my Fe nemesis makes me worry that maybe the group does have a better value system than my own if other people don't feel the same about it as I do. So I can end up having the same experience as you in that way.
INTP: Yes, yes. I understand now.
INFJ friend: Do you?
INTP: Not really.
INFJ friend: I didn't think so.
This is the exact dialogue me and my intp friend had
I'd say Fi actually feels closer to other people because you understand them as individuals, and you focus on knowing their true selves, with all their flaws. Fe can have an ostrich effect about what other people actually are.
You also missed out on the fact that Fi impacts morality. People on the Fi track have morals and principles that they believe in (What these are varies person by person). I'm not sure how morals interact with Fe.
Fi tends to have deep, well-rooted morals, while Fe has a wider range of more flexible morals. This does not mean flexible by situation, but flexible in developing them with others. Fi morals are more adaptable to various situations, while Fe looks for blanket morals than can apply to a ton of situations, but can lead to ignorance of moral nuances. Both are just as moral and caring in different ways. It's just that one is wide and one is deep.
@@marycumming8461 Interesting.
Just outside of MBTI, I tend to view "wide" to be less caring than "deep."
Wide sound shallow and surface. Deep sounds like someone who actually knows you and cares.
But that may be the limit of my own perspective.
@jenniferhanses That's a good point. In this case, I think wide vs deep is more like a canned food drive (I hope you don't mind the analogy). One person gets as many cans as possible with their money, while another person buys a few good quality cans. Both are important in different ways, and I wouldn't say either is any less caring. Both may be needed for different purposes.
My husband is Fi and I'm Fe. When he's struggling, I give him the tools to find and keep in touch with himself, which he appreciates as an Fi. When I'm struggling, he's just there to comfort me and listen, which I appreciate as an Fe.
There are times when I smother him trying to make sure everything is okay when he needs to reflect on his own, and times when he neglects making sure I'm okay because he knows he cares and intends to do the right thing.
Both have their pros and cons. Does that help make sense of it?
My style allows me to help more people, which he admires, and his style allows him to invest deeply into close friends and family, which I really appreciate. I still have people I prioritize, like him, and sometimes he fails to express how he cares well, so it balances pretty well in our case for us.
Fine you caught me, I am INTJ and I'm watching this because my roommate is ISTP and my girlfriend is ENFP.
As a Fi dom I do care about others! And I genuinely listen. My friends usually say I'm a really good listener. I hate stereotypes
Fi is a very individualistic function, so stereotypes can be really off.
@@TrebleKnight Totally, each Fi user is a world. Thanks for responding!
Wow. As an INTP with Fe as an inferior function, this so describes me.
I think when Fi doms try to empathize with others, they ask themselves how they would feel in the other person’s situation because they understand themselves pretty well (or they hope they do). At least, that’s what I do lol
Can confirm, it's lonely being an ISFP because I'm so aware of how nobody will ever truly get me and how I will never really understand others.
And yes, I have more enemies than I can count.
Especially these days when you're expected to think, say, and feel, however is the most "appropriate", social norms and trends can't control me
Fi can be heavy burden to bare, but I believe it's an important burden
That’s so saddddddd I’m a INFP and this hits home my FI won’t be understood
@@Mochi-re8cv my besties are INFP and INTJ, we all accept our uniqueness!
@@Carcassbits11 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
@@Carcassbits11 that’s awesome too hear
I think a good way to put it is that Fe is “help others than yourself” and Fi is more “help yourself than others” (generally, there are certain moments when each function does the opposite)
I think that's a good way to look at it
Hmm yes, I’m an INTJ and yesterday I personified the functions (but as dragons because I do what I want) and Fi was this entitled small child with a golden cape lol. I do understand functions but it’s just funny to tap into stereotypes once in a while.
That's really funny lol, and I like the idea of cognitive functions being personified as dragons
What did you do for Ti and Ne?
@@existentialchaos8 Ti: scientist with oversized coat
Ne: deliberately different colour scheme with lots of contrasts + hoodie
Lol 😂
Wtf
Can't decide if someone I know is an Fi-user or is just an Fe-user on a rampage because someone messed with one of his friends.
This video proved to me that i have a very well developed Fe as an Intp
Congrats and developing Fe!
Fe People are always aware of other people's emotions and always able to fit in with the group. But if the group develops norms of gossiping and being mean to outsiders, they can be pretty mean, even ganging up on outsiders.
Fi might be oblivious at times, being too busy daydreaming or philosophizing to pay attention. They may even seem cold to strangers. But when they see something wrong, they care and will even stand against the group.
As an INTP with an INFP bestfriend, i dont think all Fi users are necessarily "selfish" and its honestly stupid to say that, cause i mean they are actually empathetic to you if they care about you and give you genuine advice even though its quite stupid, like "you dont need to care so much about what others think" "think about if it matters to you"
As an istp, nobody grinds my gears more than infps, but my best friend is also an infp, so I have no idea what's going on...
There is a certain attraction in friction. It's the people we care about the most that can drive us crazy.
I relate a lot to both these functions as described here. I think feelers simply switch between Fe/Fi a lot and use both of these functions often, even if there is usually a preference.
I'm Fi hero but definitely go to extreme lengths sometimes to maintain harmony and make sure nobody dislikes me, including neglecting my own feelings in the process. I've also seen Fe doms, when they feel justified (same as Fi), be absolutely brutal towards others with opposing feelings/values and be very assertive in their own values/feelings. Human psychology doesn't manifest in the extremes that stereotypes describe, but it's still a good place to start for understanding basic differences.
I always see myself as a Fi dom.
same
Yeah, I’m a lot about wanting to have a lot of people to agree.
And also sometimes only trust something after everyone else is doing it.
And I do want other people to be more straightforward with emotions.
This is likely why I as an INTP often get into conflicts with...I don't know what my mom's type is but I'm leaning toward one of ISFP, INTJ, or ENTJ. She keeps criticizing me for thinking of others, sometimes including _her,_ at the expense of my well-being.
The truth is...I don't mind. It energizes me. It makes me feel like a superhero sometimes. Besides, I already have a lot of mental and physical strength (I enjoy working out, especially boxing, 'cause I love violent video games) so why leave it to do nothing? Especially if I did something wrong prior-I am a firm believer in providing restitution.
And in case some readers may be doubting if I'm really an INTP...well, I already prepared for that eventuality because of Ne even though thankfully, no one has questioned my INTP typing before. But I'm still doing it anyway with Ti to help readers gain a clearer (but not necessarily practical) understanding. And I guess I only feel others' pain at a surface level using Si to visualize myself experiencing something similar, especially if it actually happened to me in the past; I rarely feel what other people feel deeply unless they're emotionally close to me like my girlfriend. Oh, and I'm very likely to miss external details like objects a few inches away so my mom often rages at the things I do that are associated with Se blindness.
Intj here wher my pats on the back?its ichy
Well that's a very interesting view to hear from an Fi user on Fi vs Fe. As an Fe user, I would like to share my own opinion on this.
Actually, in the same way Fi users can think about others, Fe users can think about themselves too. When there is things that concern them personally, they don't have other choice but to think about themselves. So they're not actually completely dependant on others. They're not totally selfless. By definition when there is nobody around, they have to think about themselves.
Also, saying that if you can't understand yourself, you can't understand everyone else is a very Fi perspective cause Fi users can't understand others without relating to themselves first when Fe users can cause they can empathize with others and are really interested in others and learning them. Fe users don't need to relate to understand them.
Fe users can cry for others without having to be sad first. You don't need to cry first when watching a movie to understand the person crying on screen is sad.
But as you said you can't compromise with everyone. But one of the reasons why you can't always compromise with everyone is because as you said after, Fi it's not going to compromise on its own beliefs. If it could learn to do it sometimes, agreements would naturally be easier. That's one side of Fi's maturity state. Cause Fe users are organizing everyone basically, so Fe users objectives are always dependant on your own state and the choices you decide to take. So if everyone decides to be a bit more Fe, everyone can advance more easily.
Fe people expect others to change their mind, at least a bit. That's the difference. You're not forced to always stay in your way, so then you can agree. I think everyone would agree that during life you can change your mind on things and evolve. And that doesn't mean you lost yourself. That just means you evolved and changed. So why couldn't you change someone's mind ?
Also Fi can agree to disagree sometimes but not always. They will really go to war sometimes. And more importantly, what do you do when you can't just agree to disagree and you have to work together ? If you don't change your mind at least a bit, that's just not going to work. What if both are two very stubborn Fi people and nobody changes their mind ? You're just stuck in those situations and you just can't move on. You have no way but finding a compromise sometimes. That requires some personal effort of course but nobody said it was easy.
If everybody have their smartphone and play on their side, there is no community and no unity then, everyone is single. And that's why some Fi people always stay single actually. If you're never going to change your mind and compromise, you're never going to be accepted. If everyone is a strong stubborn Fi, everyone is going to stay single forever. And there is some things you simply can't achieve only by yourself but you have to work as a team. Great things are rarely accomplished by one mind alone. Without Fe users to compromise, society wouldn't exist at all.
It's 2023 but that's maybe one of the reasons why everyone says people suck and humanity is terrible, think about it. One selfish jerk for an Fi user is most likely another Fi user in the end. But you know if it was an Fe user, this person most likely wouldn't be selfish and you could see them in a positive light instead.
And yes, Fi has no problem shouting its own opinion, even when others don't want it sometimes. It's not always a necessity to share what you think. It can even cause more unecessary harm or trouble sometimes. In the same way if you're friend with someone and they trust you, an Fe user will tell you. Or they won't because maybe it doesn't matter that much in the end. You don't need to share your individual feelings every time either. You're not alone. There is many other Fi users who want to be heard just like you and you're not more important than them. That's what thinkers hate and sometimes, I can see where they're coming from. It's just so important for Fi users to share their own personal thoughts. But not everyone has to care every time.
Also in the same way, Fe magnifies all the similarities between people. Everyone isn't totally different or friends just wouldn't exist.
Fe people need to mature as well, but they generally can less because others don't give them more importance as they do for others. Why not offering a helping hand sometimes and encouraging them to share what they think instead of just letting everyone on their own way ? You know, creating friendly connections between people. How do you expect everyone to get your feelings otherwise.
The only thing Fe wants is everyone to cooperate and that everyone could be able to come to an agreement to move forward together to go further and create more ambitious projects. Because it would have positive impacts on everyone's lives. Cause when the world is happy, Fe users are happy. They don't have complicated ambitions.
If you can't have the Fi views, you can be sure to have the Fe views cause at least they're more cooperative. So they're useful after all ah ah !
It's not related to the video but it just made me think that people use Fe users way too much for personal gain. And you could say it is their fault for letting that happen, but it doesn't change the fact that it's not morally right to do so.
Just to mention, there is absolutely nothing personal. I just wanted to share an opposite perspective on the matter.
Very interesting, as a thinker I often don't register what I'm feeling until days later and my main motivations are to be efficient I probably don't have much to say on this. However, most of my friends are more F than T, and they are pretty good at spotting what I'm feeling something before I do, haha
I did want to give my observations. I have come to the conclusion that Fe and Fi can not understand each other. Fundamentally, we can not, on a readable level, a teachable level maybe, but to truly understand eachothers perspective is impossible. That, to me, is a beautiful reality, which means more kinds of art and writing and paths in the world! However, the Fe user I said this too disagreed. She claimed to understand and empathize with my perspective. I asked her to say it back to me, and she was misinterpreting what i said and could not see that. Fi are viewed as selfish, and Fe as Selfless, Fi is viewed as strong and accepting, and Fe is viewed as weak and authoritarian. Both are wrong, and both are right. And humanity would not exist without both moving is a constant push and pull of each other.
As an intj with Fe as my 7th function, it would be correctly presumed that I have a bais against Fe, and I admit that. I have personally been steam rolled by Fe authoritarianism (hearing of Fe described as selfless and spineless was a huge surprise to me, lol). There are many fictional and real-life Fe/Fi villians and Fi/Fe heros, and I think it's a very diminutive approach to think society was formed because Fe made it happen and the Fi users grew into Fe morals. That perspective is definitely a part of why Fi users don't usually trust Fe. Why comprises when you aren't seen at the same level because you experience life in a different way?
And yet neither and both perspectives are the facts of life. They are because we exist and our combined perception of each other vs our perspectiion of ourselves makes them real :) which is really cool !
Yes that's just different goals. Fe people's main motivation is to make others happy. Of course, because high F people are good with emotions so they can understand it pretty easily. Just like a more T person would understand an idea pretty quickly I assume.
Yeah as this other Fe user said, I disagree. I'm convinced everyone can understand each other if we succeed to empathize with one another. That requires seeing emotions in a more objective way. That's what Fi users usually fail to understand. There isn't just one way to feel. Fe people feel emotions objectively and do understand and are able to feel every type of emotion. I don't understand why being so categoric. But I feel like being a thinker first and foremost plays a big role in this. Putting yourself in someone else' shoes, feeling pain as they do, even if it's not on the same level but succeeding to simply imagine how terrible it must be when it's amplified, to me that is at least definitely possible. If an Fe user can, everyone is more or less capable of doing it. We aren't special in any way and that's what is great! I find it rather very sad to imagine this, cause that means so many kinds of art and writing that will be overshadowed, disregarded, and never truly understood. You say the Fe user you said it to misinterpreted what you said but they conveyed it with words. Do you think words are generally enough to fully convey one's emotions? I think most Fi people would disagree (principally the feeler ones). This person might also have conveyed it not with the right words for what they meant. Maybe even you partially misinterpreted what they said. Communication is just an imperfect tool to translate our thoughts and feelings. Keep in mind that people who have the Fe function necessarily have the Ti function while the people who have the Fi function necessarily have the Te function. Having the Te function generally helps to explain things more clearly when Ti users tend to have a more complex thinking process they can struggle to communicate efficiently. That leads to the main difference between Te thinkers and Ti thinkers cause Ti thinkers' motivation is truth, not efficiency in everything they do. So they'll prefer being precise rather than efficient. You can't just take one function separately without considering what constitutes a whole person. And this person said they didn't understand it but who says they can't think more about it and understand it later? Ti users also have a slower thinking process generally speaking. Hum, I would say Fi is rather seen as strong and authoritarian and Fe is viewed as weak and accepting. Yeah I agree, both are wrong and right because that's literally too sides of the same coin. I think though that humanity could exist as well, and probably better if both could stop to push and pull each other constantly, because then there would be no need for that. Anyway, History shows us that humanity makes progress in accepting and understanding each other despite the frequent isolated and superficial regression. As long as most believe in the capacity to move forward toward improvement, humanity can continue to exist safely.
Indeed I think the Fe bias would be worth mentioning even though I don't take this that much into account cause I've seen INTJs totally able to get the importance of the Fe function from the moment where you show them it can serve efficiency. And actually, efficiency and respect don't have to be opposed but can totally work in harmony. Well, I know it's hard for Fi users to put themselves in someone else' shoes but when Fe users are authoritarian, you can usually just compare it to you or high Te users using the Te. That's the same kind of process actually.
Yes, it may have come as a huge surprise because when Fe users are authoritarian with you they consider the needs of everyone around and the respect for their humanity. You probably wouldn't react the same way if they would defend you in a different situation though ah ah! That's another thing that is usually misinterpreted because everyone assumes all people feel like Fi users but no. When Fe users feel the need to be authoritarian it's for the feelings of others not their own and they usually don't care about themselves in the process. It has nothing to do with them actually. To be fair if we look at most heroes and the most typical heroes in fiction they're more frequently Fe users for the exact reason that they put the needs of others before their own. That doesn't mean a Fi character couldn't do it of course but for a Fe type that's typical. The ENFJ type is called "the protagonist" for a reason lol. Well, the Fe is specifically interested in forming communities and unity so that's really in the center of their goals. I don't think most people would even think about uniting otherwise, they would mostly do things on their own when you think about it. Even if it weren't for Fe people specifically it would be for Fe. Other types have other skills to help humanity in different ways after all. I think it's pretty undeniable at this point that every type grew up on Fe morals, even if they don't totally accept it and we can at least be satisfied by that. I find it to be a beautiful thing. Cause that's moral codes you have to follow in society and they allow us to maintain it. That's also one of the reasons why Fi and Fe people usually don't understand each other because Fi people usually tend to take things personally. Who even said Fi people aren't seen at the same level because they experience life differently ? Fe people don't care about the fact you experience life in a different way, they'll consider it as valuable because it is your way. That's exactly what they want everyone to respect as long as you do the same for others lol . That's a very subjective interpretation of what I just said. How maintaining society would make you on a superior level to other people exactly? Maintaining the cohesion of society is far from being the only thing that matters overall. What would be the point of maintaining it if it weren't for all the other types of people with so much creativity, skills in technical innovation, interest in life philosophy, art, economy, physical work and so on ? All of this matters as well and Fe users just want to bring it together. That kind of very personal perspective is exactly the reason why Fe users are exhausted by Fi users. So why compromise ? To share what you have to offer in a way everyone can accept and contribute to society to help everyone's lives.
Why neither? Both perspectives are the facts of life since we exist. But our perception of each other (and thus of life) can only be partially true from the moment where we don't consider one's perspective of themselves though. And that is one of the most beautiful lessons we can all learn in life :D.
The thing that always intrigued me though is that no matter the type, wanting efficiency or something else, the main motivation behind it is always happiness in the end. We want to do something because it makes us happier or else we don't want to live. Maybe that's why Fe users can be so misunderstood, because what they partially want is simply the universal want of every living being behind how they express it. I don't know that's just a personal theory on humanity.
@kyurei4478 I have run into many Te users who truly believe they are objective and doing what is best. They scare me because that is extremely dangerous. No one person can do just about anything objectively. It's because we are human, and our subconscious is way more in control of our thoughts and actions than we realize. Many Fe users truly believe they can feel objectively, and that's dangerous. That is impossible, and the audacity to assume you can understand another person enough to make executive decisions for most is authoritarian and egotistical. It reminds me of politicians, lol. Fe just thinking they can see all the perspectives is delusional and impossible. Te thinking I can figure out the "best" way to do something and that there are no other ways to di it better, equally delusional and impossible. People who think they know the answers or the right way things "ought" to be done, I won't trust. Maybe I am just a rebellious person who has seen to many people who "know what's best for everyone" destoy lives (I grew up in a cult ran by an ENFJ), but I can't bring myself to trust people who tell me they understand me without me bearing my soul to them, it feels fake and contrived. Usually, their "empathy and understanding" is wrong anyway, lol. The amount of times I have had to re explain myself to Fe users is insane. Fe looks down at Fi, just by believing they can see more. Fe and Fi see differently, and this probably won't make sense to you, and what you've said so far has felt like propaganda to me. But both Te and Fe can believe they got it figured out, and that's dangerously untrue. I probably won't reply again because I don't really see this conversation going anywhere, nothing personal
I really really appreciate all These views. I dont have parents who tell me this. All my friends are other Thinking types Who dont get it either😂😂😂 so i appreciate every logic opinion about Fe. (And in general i like the hint about art and the "Main character" ) 😂😂😂😂😂
For me its still hard to integrate this new knowlege in my personal life - a really thankful intj
I am a thinker, but I'm into MBTI so I kinda get what and why feelers are all about that.. feely stuff. But then again, TI is only my auxiliary cognitive function, and FE is right after it, so it's not *too* foreign.
Im an ENFP, so this relates why im too uncaring but emotional as Fi type, its like Fi types only understand themselves sometimes but they dont get other people’s feelings, so Fi type is something an example of me: crying & someone says there whats wrong
When you cry as an Fi, you dont wanna say ur feeling like instead you just say “oh thats nothing i dont wanna tell you why”
Bc if Fe crying, they will try to be open and will share you the reason why they cry or afterwards the Fe type needs to hug people when they cry
But i dont know how to be a Fe type at all bc im an ENFP & its too hard for me to help people since this is where my heart is for, like i only understand myself but not the others
One time i wanted to be an ENFJ but this doesn’t rlly work bc they are more healthier & generous compare to ENFPs like me
I was an Fe 90% till mid twenties then I switched to 85% Fi and 15%Fe... just leave me alone and do your shit... inused too worry none stop as if I was responsible for everyone and everything. Now I say I need to be fine and they are fine or will be fine and I'm going to sleep
FI > FE
shots fired
Why does no one ever pay me to say Bellshill? If you want everyone to get on the same page then get on it yourself.
ISTP and my inferior fe barely exists at all
The final function is sneaky. It's there and active, but it's hard to see
Isfp here and yeah I've always been called narcissistic by my mom... 🤕
Theres just no mbti with Ti Fi right? It'd just be too perfect
unfortunately no. I've often seen function combos that don't exist, but would make a lot of sense, and that is one of them
Intp present😊
Great 👍
im a thinker (Ti dom) and im watching this, dw
Tbh, i only clicked on this video because i thought it was going to endorse stereotypes and wanted to leave a hate comment
i’m glad i’m wrong
(likely a) thinker here (in terms of cognitive functions probably entp, maybe intp)
i just want confirmation im in fact an Fe user, which is likely
I'm not sure you can get "conformation" with MBTI. I think it's always just gonna be your best guess. Or at least that's how I look at it.
@@TrebleKnight fair. Fe is defenitly still more fitting with me.
Another great video ❤
thanks!
I'm a thinker
This explanation of yours does not include tertiary and inferior Fe
So pretty much Fe is wrong and Fi is the correct one
agreed!
😂😂😂 intj here
Nope. Selfish isn’t the correct word. Why you trying to demonize
It's clickbait though 😶
It's clickbait though 😶
It's clickbait though 😶
💯💯💯💯💯💯🙌🏼💜
Sup
Yas
I’m a T and I clicked on this because I knew there was a reason why INFPs and ISFPs were so selfish
And Fe is a contradiction because it prioritizes eliminating the conflict over eliminating the problem. Which IS the conflict
Actually I think the entire feeling preference is a contradiction for that reason. I wish I could get rid of them all and make them T’s
it looks like to me you have a last slot feeling function
@@TrebleKnight Actually a third slot. I'm an ISTJ
@@micahknoche8501 ahh, well we often over look our third function too
"I wish I could get rid of them all and make them T's". What an excruciatingly boring world that would be!!
@nashira_incognito Not at all! Since when are T's boring?
More like an excruciatingly efficient world...with less suffering--which is the point
most infp crying because you hurt their feelings 😂