Dementia Diagnosis at 47? Vicky and Jeff's Moving Story
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- Опубликовано: 10 июн 2014
- After relocating back east, Jeff and Vicky had just moved into their "dream home" on the water when Jeff was diagnosed with dementia--he was just 47 years old. VHA Home HealthCare's Heart of Home Care Award winner shares her unpredictable journey as a caregiver.
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My brilliant husband (mechanical engineer, dentist, private pilot) was diagnosed with FTD in his early 50’s, but it was probably brewing for quite a few years before we knew. I thought his personality change was ME - menopause, etc. Married for 31 years at the time, I wondered if it was another phase of marriage. It wasn’t until daily headaches for a month that he was diagnosed. Our story was tragic in that he was arrested and went to prison. He was degraded and called retarded by correctional officers with half his education. It is almost ten years since his arrest and six since his death, and I’m just coming back to life with a hell of a lot of effort. This diagnosis is barbaric.
My mother was diagnosed about 12 years ago. She lived at home with my dad who was about 92 years old at the time.
Her behavior got to be so unpredictable and even dangerous that he had to put her in a home. She lasted 8 months until a UTI got out of hand and she passed. My dad was devastated because they had been together for 62 years. It’s a horrible disease that I wouldn’t wish on anyone and one of my worst nightmares is to be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
Oh sweetheart, my husband was diagnosed when he was 51. It’s so tough. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Why can't the good times last forever? Life isn't fair.
That is a good woman. Any man with a wife like her should consider himself very blessed.
Agreed. There are many more people like her than we all know. Most are unsung heroes...
I'm not religious, but god bless Americans.
She is a very good woman. Take it from one who has walked in her shoes, as hurtful as it is, there comes a time when you cannot take care of a loved one with dementia. Until you have been in her situation, DON’T JUDGE!!!
Robert F Downs Not sure about her particular situation, but my husband was my gift from God. In the final stages, I was having to feed him, bathe and dress him, put locks on the doors so he wouldn’t go outside and wander off, he was up all hours of the night pacing, wanting out and begging me to take him HOME!!! I had no help, only me. It broke my heart to have to put him in assisted living facility, he was only there for 2 weeks until his death. It was horrible to watch a good, strong, very intelligent, otherwise healthy man deteriorate before my eyes. It’s been almost 2 years since he passed and I keep beating myself up for having to take him away from his home, but I truly had no choice. Just pray you never have to deal with this situation. It’s beyond horrible.
I had no idea he was that close to death. The facility I checked him into was suppose to be long term. Lewy body dementia is in a class all it’s own. The doctors were even baffled that he was that close to death. He walked in there and after 2 days he couldn’t walk or talk at all. He was in a comatose state by then and they took him to hospice for 2 nights and he died there. I must say that his disease was very different than any I have heard about. He only lived 2 years after his diagnosis. It was very fast and aggressive. After seeing him the last few days, I was praying that God would take him home. He would not have wanted to live like that nor could I bare to watch him in that deteriorating state any longer. It would only have gotten worse, never better.
Alzheimer's is a nightmare, very unpredictable and very hard to deal with. This woman shouldn't feel guilty for having to put her husband into a nursing home. She did all she could by herself without cracking up. It's too hard for one person to deal with.
Not Alzheimer's, but very difficult still. There was a good article about someone with this type of dementia in an issue of AARP magazine.
These people are in a mental hell! They should be given the right to die with dignity! Allowing these dementia patients to serve out their time in a mental nightmare is inhumane and cruel. The only reason we keep these patients alive is for the living and money!
Unless you have had to care for dementia patients or are a dementia patient, you have no right to decide. Death with dignity is the only way out of this disease without too much suffering. If the people caring for these dementia patients think it's hard, imagine the person going through it.
You did so well with your hubby's problem. You are definitely a hero.
Agreed. Horrible diagnosis, incredible response by Vicky.
Awful disease that robbed me of my father and mother. I do not wish this disease on anyone
Thank you for sharing. I am 45 and my husband is 52. He was diagnosed with dementia 8 years ago.
A gf of mine from junior high school has Primary Progressive Aphasia. She's only 48. This disease has devastated her family and their finances. She lives in Texas. I live in the northwest. I wish I could go there and help them. I last saw her in June 1984 when she graduated 8th grade. Its been a struggle reconciling my memory of a sweet happy 14 year old girl to the reality of a 48 year woman (still young) with a form of dementia. I dont wish this on anyone.
She is amazing...
Vicky I am so VERY grateful for your "sharing" of such a hard thing. I Hope and Pray the best for all involved.
Vicki just know your not alone! We all feel guilty it comes with the territory! I lost both of my parents to Dementia and it’s a hard road! Keep your chin up and just day to day deal with it best as you can😘
God Bless you!
WHYYYYYYY are sooooo many of us getting Dementia???..... myself included, what is happening in our world that we are getting it so young and sooooo many of us????
How old are You, how did you get diagnosed and What are your symptoms? Please
I'm sorry this is happening to you! How old are you?
Queen Alice Kingsley my thoughts exactly 😞
I personally think all these new health problems along with so.many kids getting supposed adhd and hpv etc I believe it's in food and animals drinks etc like man made illness to get money to pay for treatments when we was growing up u could do anything n never heard of bird flu or these cancers etc like we do now so sad
Chemicals/additives in our food supply. Studies suggesting artificial sweeteners linked to plague development in the brain.
Bless your heart...
I'm so glad u found a good facility for ur hubby cause I'm a PCA & I can tell u there r some HORRIBLE 1's...stay strong & always do pop up visits...ur doin an amazing job & PLZ DON'T FEEL GUILTY cause u couldn't take care of him...i specialize in Dementia(over 15 yrs) & LET me tell u it's a DEMON...just keep LUVIN him & GOD will give u the strength 2 push on...STAY BLESSED!!!
God bless you both...
Thanks for sharing your stories. It is really good you are a very strong woman to fight that kind of trials in your life!
You have been on the same walk as myself. Bless you and yours........
My heart goes out to you and your family. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You need you time too. Wishing you and your family the best. God bless you all.
Thank you for your story , it's very hard to take care of someone I did it with my mother your a good person c.f.
Don't feel guilty you have been through hell you did all you cold
My prayers are with you
My mom had the same sickness. I pray that soon there will discover a Alzheimer's as well as cancer and many other diseases is affecting our world today.MY prayers goes out to you because I know it's hard.
My prayes are with you always
This breaks my heart....
i feel for these beautiful lady i took care of my pop he was the love of my life he passed away now i took cate of him the day the medical i.had for my pop talked abput putting him in assisting living was the best but the worst decision the night we moved my pop in i cryed so hard but the next day when i went back to visit it was hard but ok
This moved me
My Grandma was very independent, intelligent, and healthy. At 80 she was diagnosed it's been progressing slowly taking away everything.
Such a cruel disease, and at such a young age, we all wish it wont happen to us but it can.
Glad you stayed and support him! I had depression and my wife ran to another guy
My heart goes out to you and your husband my mum has early dementia and I've only just started to get support from the dementia team which had been really good for me but I must admit it's getting harder with Mum these days her mood swings are quite bad we have quite a few arguments these days I hate what it's doing to my mum
if you have dementia in argentina, your wife leaves off you, take your house and your salary, and she search for another guy with more money and confort to slip with her. when i see a woman like victoria, i thanks to the god lord. not everything is lost
Yes! Seek help when you are overwhelmed as a primary caregiver! NO, she didn't use her husband's diagnosis to move her side dude in and begin flaunting him around family and friends, while showing videos of her husband sleeping in the shower and having the mentality of a 4 yr old child..... God bless you lady! Let's all pray for B Smith!
We think so too! All of our winners and nominees are heroes in their own right. Check out another winners' story here...
Amazing Mom Helps Son Recover from a Severe Brain Injury--Prepare to laugh and cry!
It hurts so much that the person you have spent your life with as your husband "can not" love YOU any more because they are now you are the mom/dad!!!!!!
A good smart woman.
The best wife ever...
Why do bad things happen to good people?
So very sad. Don't feel guilty.
My father also has been suffering from dementia since last two years.Many times,I feel too much pain to see him.May Allah Help Us.Aameen
my mom has alzhiemers. she was diagnosed when she was 56. I hate alzhiemers
No doubt about it. It's an incredibly insidious disease...It's especially heartbreaking when its onset is so early. Sorry to hear about you mom.
My mom too.We have to be strong!!!!!!!!!
My mom died 2 years ago from Alzheimer's I'm losing it I hope you have brothers or sisters that help. I did it alone. Please give her coconut oil look it up. It took my mam back. It works please please give it to her. In 3 days you will see your mom go back.
I am so sorry 💔. Getting ready to move my Dad I a skilled nursing facility.
kcraft38 It took my mom
from us after 11 years. Those 12 years sucked.
As a nurse was in , a nursing home I'm so. Sorry
So many people have early onset frontotemporal dementia because they have taken antipsychotics and those shrink the frontotemporal lobes
I am worried about the same with my hubby, too. I will give the Alzheimers Society a call. We have mis- diagnoses several times now. Good luck to you. Please get your rest. Trying to be on call, so to speak, 24/7 is too much to bear.
So so sad
❤❤❤❤
How you all doing
love and hugs xoxo💜
Once the person has lost most of their awareness, they're not going to know or be bothered about where they are, even if at first they might be upset that they've been put in a care home.
And im balwing my eyes out lol
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Nothing to control it. Obviously he was active and probably ate well. The drunk on the corner gets the mercy and he has to suffer.
Is there an update on Jeff and Vicky?
He sadly passed away May 1st, 2018.
www.arbormemorial.ca/gftompkins-central/obituaries/jeffrey-clyde-willis/18813
Is there a difference between this and Alzheimer's and does this or either cause death or just memor
the 6th leading cause of death in the US at 93,000 annually in 2016 (CDC)
The sooner medical research finds an effective treatment for diseases such as this, the better.
Very sad.
In sickness and in health? Damn this world is fucked
So sad. According to experts, taking vitamins b12 is essential for avoiding brain shrinkage....all "B" vitamins are very important. Foods today are depleted of nutrients....mass produced, acid rain, harvested before ripened, etc, etc..take good quality vitamins is very essential for brain health...do not for it to be too late. U cant reversed it once the damage start to occurred...
I think untreated anxiety over an extended period of time is the cause of dementia.
Charlie Nonya ...chronic stress and anxiety does increase your chances of dementia.
Is he still alive
I'm sorry to report Jeff passed away last May...he was 55.
This video is sad bad things happen too good people
The program awards should be given to employees who work hard with people with Alzheimer's. Why you should received an award from taking care your husband that you Love, that you married, to take care of him for better or for worse.
We actually also provide awards to our workers as nominated by family and friend caregivers. You can find them on our channel: they are called "Client Choice Awards." As noted in an early comment, we use the word "award" for lack of a better word. These people are meant to represent family and friend caregivers throughout Canada and our goal is to raise awareness of the strain, challenges and love that is part of caregiving so that society and government better support them. :) In Canada, if there weren't family/friend caregivers around, the system would collapse.