My husband and myself retreated to Spain, from London, so that he would feel like he is on holiday all the time. He can no longer drive, he cannot be left alone for too long, he cannot deal with anything related to daily life, like documents, contracts, the bank, etc..and you know what? He seems the happiest man alive. The only difference with most of the cases on these videos, is that he became like that after a road accident, which damaged his frontal lobe. He was then abandoned by his family, who never admitted, in public, that there was anything wrong. When I met him, and I married him, I took on his whole life, and all duties; I made his life as simple as possible. Obviously, as he looks good and fit, and reasonably talkative, people do not understand his issues, at least for the first hour. 27 years after, things are starting to deteriorate. She is right, it is like having a giant toddler..the Ipad is on for at least 12 hours a day, and he willingly tags along to whatever it is that I decide..but I have no husband, and no one cares...bless you all who are going through this
I hope his family sees this video. They need to step up to the plate, instead of being takers. You are a treasure for loving him as he deserves. I hope you find professional people and community who understand and support you both.
I cry my husband is like a child now .I take care of everything here . I lost the funny outgoing man I married. He won't take care of himself .And I have to deal with his abusive language . He thinks he's normal .My heart surgery is soon .I will deal with this all alone and hope he will be okay .
You hit it right on the nose. It’s a beast disease. My girlfriend is in late stage six. I’ve been to the journey with her since the beginning. Now she can’t talk, or walk. She’s in Assissted Living. And she could dance and she was smart and she had a great retirement. Beautiful house. Now that’s all gone. Her dignity is gone. And I feel the memory of her knowing me is slowly going. I see that every time I visit her. I’m taking a break for a little while. I’m mentally drained. And I need to recharge. But I’ll go back to see her. Always love her.❤️
My wife was diagnosed a year ago at age 57. She can still communicate but has wild behavior and regressive memory. I went to John's Hopkins to get her correctly diagnosed. Most general physicians don't have the expertise to diagnose this disease. One thing that worked great for me is I got her an iPad with tons of games and easy to use Apps. She uses it about 8 hours a day. I would have gone nuts if she didn't have it. God bless you Donna and all who have to live with this disease.
My brother has early onset dementia too. He’s gone, it took him from us already. I feel so bad for his wife. I took care of my husband for 7 years and his mind was sharp until close to the end. It’s just an awful disease. He’s alive but he can’t talk but he tries to.
My wife at 57 diagnosed with FTD. The comments in this video reflect what my life as a caregiver has become. I try to not make it about me and devote everything I do for her but there are moments I don't see coming. Suddenly reality hits me and I realize everything that we once had is gone. There is no more making plans to do and share things together. Our dreams are over. It has now become sort of a race to make the best of all the rest of our time together but their will be no memories to share with anyone. All the memories are mine only. Thank God my faith sustains me. It is an illness that robs you daily.
My wife just got dx with bvFTD. I clearly see what you said above. There is nothing to plan for anymore, make the best of the time we still have before she goes into a zone where she may not know me.
I truly believe my son has this at 37 years of age! He also was a great athlete at ine time...worker...father....husbanf dies an ine know if brain injury due to spirts can cause this or the military,? Can it mimick ptsd???
She is so blessed to have you, MIL has no partner so she alone on her journey and it's tuff on us all,, i think my husband may have a good chance of also getting it ,, big fear of mine. 😑 I would do everything for him till the last breath xx
My mum has FTD and PPA. I'm sole carer. She's my mum in blood, but her soul has gone. It breaks my heart. You put it very eloquently. Thank you from Cardiff, Wales
i just saw this video after reading about Bruce Willis....this woman is so giving and strong in sending out this message for all of us. she brought me to tears .... because of her humanity, her courage, and her love. overwhelmed...
What a precious guy, he didn’t have the capacity to understand his paint on the screen door was an issue then when you pointed it out, he painstakingly tried to fix his mistake with a pin. I can see why you kept it for three years, it’s visually symbolic of the impact of the cognitive degeneration. You are a great advocate and a great wife and your doing important work informing families and professionals.
I just lost my spouse from Alzheimer’s dementia. He lived with dementia for about 8 years. He was the type that threw away instructions and put things together without them. About 2 years after his diagnosis he broke 3 vacuums by taking them apart, misplacing parts and destroying the vacuum to the point where it couldn’t be repaired, he also broke a brand new washing machine. I’m not sure how many trips we made to the ER because he was in severe pain in his leg, knees, hip or back. There was never anything wrong but I had to be sure. Sundowning and sleepless nights, wandering and incontinence was more than I could handle. I placed him a memory facility and he died peacefully 4 months later. I will miss him but I’m glad he’s not suffering any longer.
My husband just died from this and Luey Body and he stopped walking his throat closed and he could barely talk..Yet every so many days he would almost talk and be normal but not walk..our son and I took care of him the last 2 years until He went into hospital the last 2 months..I kept promising he would come home again once he started walking and he would lie at the end saying he was walking on a day I was not there.He was a police officer for 33 years we were married for 38 years..I cry every day. He was 74..
@Ian David Corbert-Walker Thank you. I have our son living with me and that does help.. Helped me in the last 2 years of husband and father s life. I will always miss him so much.
Sorry for Ur loss Linda xx u did so well to manage him t home until 2 months!! That's amazing, his blessed to have u and Ur son. My mother in law is divorced and lives alone with this ,, we go daily she of course and she has nurses in 3 times a day also! But it upsets me to no she won't be able to live as long independently as someone with a loving partner! Xx it's so crule,,, it's definitely in the same list as cancer for me it robs you 😢 xx
My husband is 60 and in his 5th year from diagnosis, he can barely talk at this point. To date, he still has enough clarity & is mostly very sad. I can say that with this disease, life is very boring for the patient.
Such a powerful speaker and one very brave lady. This helped me immensely as I have been trying to get help for my mother who I suspect is going down this track. Thank you for sharing your story Donna.
This is an important story we all need to hear. It could happen in our family, or to us. Isolating socially shouldn’t be necessary when we can all be aware allies, instead of judging fair weather friends. It could happen to you. Be the community you would want if it was you.
That is so right, and it also applies to many other variants of dementia. For some reason most people who havent seen or cared for dementia patients only ever seem to think it is about MEMORY. IT IS NOT! Memory loss can be involved in SOME cases! However dementia extends to the whole range of human facculties - and often a patient with advanced dementia may actually still have a FAR FAR better memory that you do! SO PLEASE EVERYONE JUST STOP WITH THE "no they can't have dementia because their memory is still good" myth. I cared for my partner of 25 years as she developed a form of early onset dementia. Her memory only started to fail in the very last MONTH of what was a four or five year illness. Halfway through - she had completely lost the ability to make sense of what she saw, and therefore could not wash, or cook, or look after herself, would often get lost around the house, fell over, and towards the end increasingly struggled to describe things in conversation, or recognise people - and yet if I had put my keys down somewhere - she was usually still able to tell me roughly where or when it was that I had lost them. She had a form of posterior cortical atrophy - which is different again from fronto-temporal dementia, but like fronto-temporal, is often not seen by those looking in, because conversationally she was still great - and so when the doctor asked her to talk through making a sandwich of course she could flawlessly run through the steps - because she could recall them... what she couldn't do was practically apply that recall to real world objects - and, for example, pick up the correct end of the knife - accurately take butter, apply the correct toppings and physically put the sandwich together. She died in 2013 - and thankfully I have since found a new partner, but sadly I STILL hear people mistakenly equating dementia solely with memory loss! So if your friend or colleague has dementia, or is caring for someone with it, please try to understand that you may not see it - but it does NOT mean it isnt real.
Really, I smile when I saw your comment. my dear. How many man are in your hand begging for your attention, because your beauty is so charming, and I believe no man can see you without telling you how beautiful you are, I believe your husband must be really lucky to have you in he's life, Dear. no man can resist your beauty. so tell me if you are the second woman GOD created after eve, how are you
My soulmate of 35 years got cancer suddenly and he got dementia. He became a shell of a man also. All of our plans gone. He passed a year later after diagnosis. I don't know how you did it for so long. God Bless you.
My husband passed from FTLD 7 years ago. It started with progressive aphasia and ended 6 years later with his death, totally dependent on me. I’ve just noticed a plethora of these videos on RUclips and have listened to a couple. Here’s the truth about FTLD and other dementias. You’re not going to find your loved one’s journey in these videos. What you will find is bits and pieces because each journey is different and unique to the individual. Ironically, I worked for Adult Protective Services investigating allegations of abuse and neglect against vulnerable adults. The one theme I saw running through the interactions between families and the victim many times was the belief initially the victim was purposefully being difficult and could change if they wanted to. When my husband was finally diagnosed, the one thing I wanted for him was to make sure he never felt like he was a burden. He passed peacefully at home 9 years after his initial diagnosis. It’s wasn’t easy but I would do it all again for him.
Really, I smile when I saw your comment. my dear. How many man are in your hand begging for your attention, because your beauty is so charming, and I believe no man can see you without telling you how beautiful you are, I believe your husband must be really lucky to have you in he's life, Dear. no man can resist your beauty. so tell me if you are the second woman GOD created after eve, how are you
Thank you for sharing. My husband also has been diagnosed with FTD....Pick's Disease at the age of 39. He is now 42. There is so little info on this disease. There's plenty about Alzheimers, but, not this form of dementia. This has to be one of the most cruel diseases in the world.
Thank you for sharing this. I can see and hear your pain. This is new to me but quite frightening. I’m sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself.
my dad has this. his speech is down to just a few words repeated over and over again... usually involuntary, and his ambulatory skills have diminished. He's incontinent and usually confused and can't do simple things like putting his seatbelt on. When he was living on his own (before we really knew what was wrong) his hygiene went downhill quick and he would just sit in his chair staring at the tv all day. Then he quit watching tv when he couldn't figure out how to turn it on or change the channels. It's been really hard, and him being divorced, I've been doing his finances, medical and making sure he has what he needs. I manage his disability benefits (he's only 62 and it started to hit hard around 58/59) and I pay his mortgage, manage the house he used to live in which is now rented out, and I pay the nursing home bills and manage the small amount of money he has left. It's scary because he has very little left and it goes quick. He was a great man and worked so hard his whole life. It's a terrible disease... his golden years are being robbed from him.
Be strong Stephen, you are doing the right thing. Let the man go with dignity. Hope every father have a caring son like you. One thing for sure, your work will not go unrewarded by God. Sooner or later it pays with a dividend of all the good you do in this world.
That was a heartbreaking comment you posted Stephen. I really feel for you. My dad passed away in 2012 with Lewy Body Dementia so I know what you're going through. May God be with you and show you His wonderful kindness and grace. May the love of His Son Jesus surround you and embrace you warmly. Please take care.
I guess in a way I was lucky that my husbands mental was toward the end of his life..And we were already retired and I received his full large police retirement.However he could not walk had to wear diapers and had a hard time talking..and on oxygen full time for 3 years..I cried all the time.I just lost him.
Thank you for your words. My heart felt them intensely. Dementia hit my mom (diagnosed at 69) 17.5 yrs ago and still going. It is cruel and painful to see someone that you love slowly or quickly slip away.
Friends and relatives sometimes loose contact with you due to your husband " dementia disease " but it is was a physical problem they will keep in contact . I think people has fear of seeing the ill person for fear of their own ageing /mortality . Good luck ! You are doing a wonderful work.
My father died in 2106 at the age of 90. From 2012 we went thru hell on earth. We had to put him in assisted living go thru all his money except for the family home. People would talk to him and think we were monsters. We knew there was something wrong but didn`t know what it was. If a woman smiled at him or patted his hand he couldn`t control himself. At any moment he could get angry and lash out at us and wonder what was wrong with us. We walked on egg shells around him, whenever an insurance company changed policies or doctor offices changed procedures he would get upset. His own family doctors didn`t understand what FTD was . Its hard to say but cancer or heart disease at least has an end.
Shame on the doctors for exacerbating your family’s situation and compromising his care. They need to educate themselves with appropriate professional development.
Its really the worst thing that could happen, nobody understands , they think you are at edge and emotional, thats true but they dont understand the reason, Be blessed
I recognise a lot of what you say. My husband is brain damaged due to a stroke, and his behaviour towards me is becoming increasingly abusive and childlike. I admire you for sticking it out. I am severely disabled due to advanced osteoarthritis, and I feel like walking out. I just can’t take it any more. Does that make me a bad person?
OMG YES!! I soooo understand the "Great" part of this. My mother did the same thing and HER Dr would look at me and say "She's fine. She said so". And I wanted to scream at her Dr... " YOU see her for 3.6 minutes and I had to MOVE in with her.. How can you say something so wrong WHEN YOU ARE THE DR?????" I was livid. Time after time. Until finally, one visit, they did a simple assessment and Mom had no idea how to draw a clock. Not a clue. She drew a squiggly line and a number 3 on a piece of paper and said that she was fine. I cried. The Dr frowned. Mom giggled. My mom died two years later from the rapidly deteriorating effects of her dementia.
My cowboy love developed Picks disease which is the same thing you dealt with. He only lived about 2 years. He could not ride his horse, could not speak and needed supervision all the time. Its was horrible. I feel your pain intensely.
And you can't talk to anyone about it. People told me I needed support. No one could give him the support he needed. I did it all. Our four sons couldn't accept that their dad was in this decline.
Please look up dr. Ken Berry carnivore diet. It works!! A paradise for parents is a nursing home that out patients on ketogenic diet and some are going back home. We need fat, beef, cholesterol to build connective tissue and heal mylein sheath ! God bless!!!
@@Paulohlsson7 hello! I'm dealing with an infection and although my spouse is trying his best to let me rest I cannot rest at all as I no longer know what he is going to do in the house. I'm always on edge. Thank you for asking!
Really, I smile when I saw your comment. my dear. How many man are in your hand begging for your attention, because your beauty is so charming, and I believe no man can see you without telling you how beautiful you are, I believe your husband must be really lucky to have you in he's life, Dear. no man can resist your beauty. so tell me if you are the second woman GOD created after eve, how are you
God Bless You. Im 46, ive been sick for 6 years now. My short term memory is basically gone. I have good and bad days, it took so long for the doctors to finally believe me that i know something is different with my brain! I was diagnosed with lupus then they said no and now we are doing great on my brain. I don't have an .y answers but i'm not the same and i know it's getting worse.
Kelly Mitchell hi Kelly, I have a husband and son having this. My son 26 has always been forgetful and notice he has long term and short term memory and very worried of his future. I think he realizes that it’s happening but, either doesn’t want to face at what level or just doesn’t see it. He also diagnosed with executive functions (ADHD)
Watching my sister be a caregiver to her dementia husband is heartbreaking. What we have found out is there is absolutely no help available for caregivers who aren't wealthy. Why don't churches have a caregivers day out where the caregiver can actually have just a couple of hours to breathe?
A bitch of a disease. Mom(84) has it, her sister (80)has it and a cousin of mine on their side died of it at 62, rapidly. I to have spent 19 months in anger, sadness, anxiety. Sold family home mom had designed, caught her sending $10000 of jewelry to her demented sister, who, when I stopped the chaos got mad at me. My father had bought my mother the jewelry, my aunt thought she should get it. She went into a dementia unit 6 months after my mom. We knew mom had dementia, my brother and i fought about it, what to do, between Thanksgiving and xmas eve, mom's birthday, in 2018. Then at 9am Christmas morning my sister-in-law called to tell me my 57 yr old brother had died in his sleep, this send the dementia in full spiral her baby had died a day after her birthday and a day after we had seen him, in less than 9 months later mom's doctor called me and said the dreaded words-your mother can no longer drive and live alone. Last year I set the house and belongings up for an estate sale only to have the pandemic come along and stop me in my tracks. Everything is in a storage unit, i sold the house. 2007 when dad died she had over a half a million dollars. She managed to piss it away on some jewelry and manic buying of things she just "couldn't" live without. She has paid for nursing home insurance for over 32 years of her life, she knew, she knew....don't let them fool you they know.... The kicker here is the neurologist told me after she had spent an hour with her that she had frontalobe dementia with a mental illness on top of it...she asked me how long I thought my mom had been mentally ill.....this explans my life growing up, i knew she was on a different plane, but boy has the ride become an eye opener. I'm preparing my 21 year old son for my last 30 years, I'm 62, he's on board and ready....no hoarding here.....open mind, open facts, and open love. Take care to all, love the crazies, breathe deep, stay strong and take the time to beat a pillow, it helps with stress and it's only a pillow!
My mother has had mental health issues all her life too. The FLD has not made things better ........ it has put some of my early life in to perspective though as she is no longer able to keep her personality in check. My thoughts are with you.
I look after my Mom who has FTD... honestly it is draining, tiring and EXHAUSTING ... its just too close for me.. a conflict of interest..i shouldnt be telling my mother what to do..its not natural..and she resents it.. and we argue so much.she kicks against everything as she does not even realise she has it😢
You are one fine brave lady thanks for sharing! Your husband is sooo ill I realize I bbelieve my son has this is there any soecialusts in pittsburgh pa. Area?
Very interesting sitting with a man that forgets what he said a half hour ago and argue he didnt say that. Can sit for hours not talking or comunicating. Get cross bery quickly. His brother was diagnozed with allzeimers a year older than him 56 but when he drinks so much he becomes more agro and confused. Now im worried he doesnt want to go check himself out so i must just sit and watch but the mental abuse is killing me and i have emphysema im sick cant take the stress anymore. But ill stick with him and see what happens what can i do i pray and pray
Something is causing this to happen to so many people . I suspect it’s something we are ingesting, medicines, food, or other environmental issues. In all my 76 years, I saw maybe 1 or 2 people with signs of dementia. Not the amount we see today. Maybe drugs, whether prescribed or not, is causing this.
it's such a pathetic disease.....my father is suffering frm same n I feel so devastating to see my mom.....love has jys collapsd fr me n my family......Ders jys no cure it makes d situation more worse......i jys figure out ways to help mom n dad lead a better life
How do you find out what type of Dementia someone has? My hubby has early onset dementia... it's been 2 yrs and he can't even dress himself Without help..When I asked what type of Dementia his Dr said "What difference does it make?"
Oh, dear. It sounds as if you need a new physician - one who isn't ignorant and who actually cares about waht you're experiencing. Is there a charity you can reach out to for extra support for yourself - one which works with families as well as patients? Perhaps they can help you advocate for what you need. This is the beauty of people like Donna telling of her experiences. It brings people together to support one another and facilitates the sharing of knowledge. Kia kaha.
My sister was diagnosed with this disease. She is 49, lives alone and about 3 hours from any family member. I have so many questions and don't know where to start. How fast does the decline start after diagnosis? What am I to expect? How can I help her? If anyone has any answers please let me know. Thanks in advance
Mommavilla I’m can feel your panic, but also your genuine concern for your sister. The decline and specific ways they become affected really do vary with every individual. Meet her where she is at by being observant to what she struggles with. Change can be quick, but often it is spotty (she can do something now, but the next day or another time of day struggle with that same thing, then, be able to do it again). When you see those changes, start anticipating how to help her. Her safety is #1. Your relationship and trust with her is also paramount. This can be tough... but meet changes and challenges with as much empathy and understanding as you can. All across the country and local to your sister should be 1) an aging and disability resource 2) a country social worker 3) to help navigate ANY point in dementia, a free resource called “A Place for Mom” has senior advisers who are amazingly helpful with resources and ideas. Google or go to the website and they’ll get you going with an advisor in your area/sister’s area. I hope this is helpful. 💗 Thank you for caring and reaching out on behalf of your sister.
@@sonjariddle6079 I am so grateful for your response. I am sorry i did not respond sooner. I am definitely going to take the time to check into the resources you gave me. I thank you so much for taking the time to help me. This has given me a starting point and i feel so much better. God Bless you, Namaste and I appreciate you more than you know.
My wife has this - she had to quit working in 2017 due to losing her memory and progressively lost her speech completely. She was diagnosed finally in Jan 2020. At this time she needs help with every aspect of life - bathing, dressing, using the toilet. She's gone from working in a technical field to mentally becoming a small child in four years. From what I read, the course of this disease averages 7 to 8 years from the onset of obvious symptoms. It does vary a lot from person to person, so that is just an average.
e..?! Bless you. Good god lady, you have been through hell. I am doing strange things, i dont want my wife to take your place. I will end it, god forgive me.
Larry Brooks ...do not do that....the heartbreak and emotional damage that suicide does to those who love you tears at their souls the rest of their lives. There are things now that can turn things around and ensure better quality of life. Daily exercise, no processed foods- fast foods..flour..pizzas...breads..grains..gluten, packaged foods, processed snacks, starches, a serious problem sugar, fructose, artifical sweetners, the bad oils canola..corn oil, peanut oil, margarine, vegetable oils, ...get on a keto and carnivore diet. Use only coconut oil..olive oil and pure rendered lard..these oils HEAL THE BRAIN...you need a functional doctor ..Dr bearsden is one..there are many good ones on line..some prefer vegs...read all comments ...learn from Dr daniel Amen..Dr Berg, Dr Eckberg, DR MARY NEWPORT GOOGLE AND READ EVERYTHING YOU CAN ON MCT OIL & COCONUT OIL...B1 BENFOTIAMINE 300 MG DAILY & MORE..B12 METHYLCOBALAMINE ..NIACIN..B6..ALL THE B vits..D3 a must with m7k2 ..m7k2 takes the calcium out of blood vessels which causes the plaque & sends it to the bones where it is needed...there is so much to all this get busy and study ...these drs give honest assessments..I had a functional Dr as a private dr...that became out of sight in price. These on utube have given a lot of much need knowledge. Nutritional yeast is a must & now for more strength VItal Proteins....gather knowledge make decisions ..have blood work done determine what is best for you. You may want to begin with a private functional Dr its pricey but a good learning tool ..standard process is a good vit source ...you need a neurologist who works with brain diseases.. Mri..cat scan to find out what ur problem is...u could have any number of problems..from blood pressure..vascular problems..not enough oxygen to brain..a sm growth ..& not necessarily a cancer..u may have had a tia..a mini stroke and the brain can heal it self...stop the guessing get busy you may end up pleasantly surprised.. There is help. Stress causes lapses as well...Good Luck...blessings to you
Put yourself in his shoes for once though..... has anybody ever told you something like you tell him? For example, imagine his struggles compared to yours, and he hears you treating him like a kid a the time, asking him what he's doing. Give him more love and he won't take so much from you. Give. And don't be mad at me plz.
My husband and myself retreated to Spain, from London, so that he would feel like he is on holiday all the time. He can no longer drive, he cannot be left alone for too long, he cannot deal with anything related to daily life, like documents, contracts, the bank, etc..and you know what? He seems the happiest man alive. The only difference with most of the cases on these videos, is that he became like that after a road accident, which damaged his frontal lobe. He was then abandoned by his family, who never admitted, in public, that there was anything wrong. When I met him, and I married him, I took on his whole life, and all duties; I made his life as simple as possible. Obviously, as he looks good and fit, and reasonably talkative, people do not understand his issues, at least for the first hour. 27 years after, things are starting to deteriorate. She is right, it is like having a giant toddler..the Ipad is on for at least 12 hours a day, and he willingly tags along to whatever it is that I decide..but I have no husband, and no one cares...bless you all who are going through this
Kia kaha special lady..(stay strong!) Bless you for talking about it...every bit helps! Love from New Zealand 🇳🇿 ❤
I hope his family sees this video. They need to step up to the plate, instead of being takers. You are a treasure for loving him as he deserves. I hope you find professional people and community who understand and support you both.
www.youtube.com/@dementianinja
I cry my husband is like a child now .I take care of everything here . I lost the funny outgoing man I married. He won't take care of himself .And I have to deal with his abusive language . He thinks he's normal .My heart surgery is soon .I will deal with this all alone and hope he will be okay .
True
You hit it right on the nose. It’s a beast disease. My girlfriend is in late stage six. I’ve been to the journey with her since the beginning. Now she can’t talk, or walk. She’s in Assissted Living. And she could dance and she was smart and she had a great retirement. Beautiful house. Now that’s all gone. Her dignity is gone. And I feel the memory of her knowing me is slowly going. I see that every time I visit her. I’m taking a break for a little while. I’m mentally drained. And I need to recharge. But I’ll go back to see her. Always love her.❤️
Hubby has a brain tumor terminal. Going through the same thing. Don't know what is in our future.
My wife was diagnosed a year ago at age 57. She can still communicate but has wild behavior and regressive memory. I went to John's Hopkins to get her correctly diagnosed. Most general physicians don't have the expertise to diagnose this disease. One thing that worked great for me is I got her an iPad with tons of games and easy to use Apps. She uses it about 8 hours a day. I would have gone nuts if she didn't have it. God bless you Donna and all who have to live with this disease.
What is the app, please
Thank you
My brother has early onset dementia too. He’s gone, it took him from us already. I feel so bad for his wife. I took care of my husband for 7 years and his mind was sharp until close to the end. It’s just an awful disease. He’s alive but he can’t talk but he tries to.
Thank you.
My wife at 57 diagnosed with FTD. The comments in this video reflect what my life as a caregiver has become. I try to not make it about me and devote everything I do for her but there are moments I don't see coming. Suddenly reality hits me and I realize everything that we once had is gone. There is no more making plans to do and share things together. Our dreams are over. It has now become sort of a race to make the best of all the rest of our time together but their will be no memories to share with anyone. All the memories are mine only. Thank God my faith sustains me. It is an illness that robs you daily.
My wife just got dx with bvFTD. I clearly see what you said above. There is nothing to plan for anymore, make the best of the time we still have before she goes into a zone where she may not know me.
I truly believe my son has this at 37 years of age! He also was a great athlete at ine time...worker...father....husbanf dies an ine know if brain injury due to spirts can cause this or the military,? Can it mimick ptsd???
As I wrote above I know what you are going through.. Now I try to live while he is gone forever.
She is so blessed to have you, MIL has no partner so she alone on her journey and it's tuff on us all,, i think my husband may have a good chance of also getting it ,, big fear of mine. 😑 I would do everything for him till the last breath xx
Thanks. Yes we all suffer. But what can we do but keep loving and keep living in Jesus name.
My mum has FTD and PPA. I'm sole carer. She's my mum in blood, but her soul has gone. It breaks my heart. You put it very eloquently. Thank you from Cardiff, Wales
She said everything I feel right now about my husband who was just diagnosed with early onset. Very few people in our families understand.
So sorry. I know that helps not at all, but it's all i have. This guts me.
Great she speaks out about the effects dementia has on the whole family. Brave lady my respect to her.
Finally someone gets how I feel. Thank you for sharing your story.
i just saw this video after reading about Bruce Willis....this woman is so giving and strong in sending out this message for all of us. she brought me to tears .... because of her humanity, her courage, and her love. overwhelmed...
What a precious guy, he didn’t have the capacity to understand his paint on the screen door was an issue then when you pointed it out, he painstakingly tried to fix his mistake with a pin. I can see why you kept it for three years, it’s visually symbolic of the impact of the cognitive degeneration. You are a great advocate and a great wife and your doing important work informing families and professionals.
Hi Frances, how's your day going with you?
I just lost my spouse from Alzheimer’s dementia. He lived with dementia for about 8 years. He was the type that threw away instructions and put things together without them. About 2 years after his diagnosis he broke 3 vacuums by taking them apart, misplacing parts and destroying the vacuum to the point where it couldn’t be repaired, he also broke a brand new washing machine. I’m not sure how many trips we made to the ER because he was in severe pain in his leg, knees, hip or back. There was never anything wrong but I had to be sure. Sundowning and sleepless nights, wandering and incontinence was more than I could handle. I placed him a memory facility and he died peacefully 4 months later. I will miss him but I’m glad he’s not suffering any longer.
My husband just died from this and Luey Body and he stopped walking his throat closed and he could barely talk..Yet every so many days he would almost talk and be normal but not walk..our son and I took care of him the last 2 years until He went into hospital the last 2 months..I kept promising he would come home again once he started walking and he would lie at the end saying he was walking on a day I was not there.He was a police officer for 33 years we were married for 38 years..I cry every day. He was 74..
@Ian David Corbert-Walker Thank you. I have our son living with me and that does help.. Helped me in the last 2 years of husband and father s life. I will always miss him so much.
Sorry for Ur loss Linda xx u did so well to manage him t home until 2 months!! That's amazing, his blessed to have u and Ur son. My mother in law is divorced and lives alone with this ,, we go daily she of course and she has nurses in 3 times a day also! But it upsets me to no she won't be able to live as long independently as someone with a loving partner! Xx it's so crule,,, it's definitely in the same list as cancer for me it robs you 😢 xx
Such a sad story. I’m sorry for your loss.
Much love to you I hope all is well now
You just told my story...amazing. Thank you for sharing Donna
mine too...
It is so hard...i can't cry any more because i have no tears left...
hugs to you. I feel the same way dealing with my husbands dementia.
My husband has this. He is my very large, very strong toddler. I love him but it's tough.
My husband is 60 and in his 5th year from diagnosis, he can barely talk at this point. To date, he still has enough clarity & is mostly very sad. I can say that with this disease, life is very boring for the patient.
I'm in to help fight💪💪💪🙏🙏🙏💖💖✌✌🕊
Very eloquently presented.
Such a powerful speaker and one very brave lady. This helped me immensely as I have been trying to get help for my mother who I suspect is going down this track. Thank you for sharing your story Donna.
Hi Sarah, how's your day going with you?
You had me balling, this is so heartbreaking. God bless you and thank you for sharing.
Hi Denise, how's your day going with you?
I feel your pain and grief ..God bless you and your family
This is an important story we all need to hear. It could happen in our family, or to us. Isolating socially shouldn’t be necessary when we can all be aware allies, instead of judging fair weather friends. It could happen to you. Be the community you would want if it was you.
I too am going through this with my wife who is only 57, such a painful journey for our family as well.
That is so right, and it also applies to many other variants of dementia. For some reason most people who havent seen or cared for dementia patients only ever seem to think it is about MEMORY. IT IS NOT! Memory loss can be involved in SOME cases! However dementia extends to the whole range of human facculties - and often a patient with advanced dementia may actually still have a FAR FAR better memory that you do! SO PLEASE EVERYONE JUST STOP WITH THE "no they can't have dementia because their memory is still good" myth.
I cared for my partner of 25 years as she developed a form of early onset dementia. Her memory only started to fail in the very last MONTH of what was a four or five year illness. Halfway through - she had completely lost the ability to make sense of what she saw, and therefore could not wash, or cook, or look after herself, would often get lost around the house, fell over, and towards the end increasingly struggled to describe things in conversation, or recognise people - and yet if I had put my keys down somewhere - she was usually still able to tell me roughly where or when it was that I had lost them.
She had a form of posterior cortical atrophy - which is different again from fronto-temporal dementia, but like fronto-temporal, is often not seen by those looking in, because conversationally she was still great - and so when the doctor asked her to talk through making a sandwich of course she could flawlessly run through the steps - because she could recall them... what she couldn't do was practically apply that recall to real world objects - and, for example, pick up the correct end of the knife - accurately take butter, apply the correct toppings and physically put the sandwich together.
She died in 2013 - and thankfully I have since found a new partner, but sadly I STILL hear people mistakenly equating dementia solely with memory loss! So if your friend or colleague has dementia, or is caring for someone with it, please try to understand that you may not see it - but it does NOT mean it isnt real.
Really, I smile when I saw your comment. my dear. How many man are in your hand begging for your attention, because your beauty is so charming, and I believe no man can see you without telling you how beautiful you are, I believe your husband must be really lucky to have you in he's life, Dear. no man can resist your beauty. so tell me if you are the second woman GOD created after eve, how are you
My soulmate of 35 years got cancer suddenly and he got dementia. He became a shell of a man also. All of our plans gone. He passed a year later after diagnosis. I don't know how you did it for so long. God Bless you.
My husband passed from FTLD 7 years ago. It started with progressive aphasia and ended 6 years later with his death, totally dependent on me. I’ve just noticed a plethora of these videos on RUclips and have listened to a couple. Here’s the truth about FTLD and other dementias. You’re not going to find your loved one’s journey in these videos. What you will find is bits and pieces because each journey is different and unique to the individual. Ironically, I worked for Adult Protective Services investigating allegations of abuse and neglect against vulnerable adults. The one theme I saw running through the interactions between families and the victim many times was the belief initially the victim was purposefully being difficult and could change if they wanted to. When my husband was finally diagnosed, the one thing I wanted for him was to make sure he never felt like he was a burden. He passed peacefully at home 9 years after his initial diagnosis. It’s wasn’t easy but I would do it all again for him.
Hi Kathy, how's your day going with you?
i can relate. horrible way to leave this earth. no dignity. my husband had this also.
Really, I smile when I saw your comment. my dear. How many man are in your hand begging for your attention, because your beauty is so charming, and I believe no man can see you without telling you how beautiful you are, I believe your husband must be really lucky to have you in he's life, Dear. no man can resist your beauty. so tell me if you are the second woman GOD created after eve, how are you
Thank you for sharing. My husband also has been diagnosed with FTD....Pick's Disease at the age of 39. He is now 42. There is so little info on this disease. There's plenty about Alzheimers, but, not this form of dementia. This has to be one of the most cruel diseases in the world.
Hi Renee, how's your day going with you?
This made me cry for you. 🙏
Thank you for sharing this. I can see and hear your pain. This is new to me but quite frightening. I’m sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself.
Omg my life sounds the same way. My husband has dementia and i am his caregiver
my dad has this. his speech is down to just a few words repeated over and over again... usually involuntary, and his ambulatory skills have diminished. He's incontinent and usually confused and can't do simple things like putting his seatbelt on. When he was living on his own (before we really knew what was wrong) his hygiene went downhill quick and he would just sit in his chair staring at the tv all day. Then he quit watching tv when he couldn't figure out how to turn it on or change the channels. It's been really hard, and him being divorced, I've been doing his finances, medical and making sure he has what he needs. I manage his disability benefits (he's only 62 and it started to hit hard around 58/59) and I pay his mortgage, manage the house he used to live in which is now rented out, and I pay the nursing home bills and manage the small amount of money he has left. It's scary because he has very little left and it goes quick. He was a great man and worked so hard his whole life. It's a terrible disease... his golden years are being robbed from him.
Be strong Stephen, you are doing the right thing. Let the man go with dignity. Hope every father have a caring son like you. One thing for sure, your work will not go unrewarded by God. Sooner or later it pays with a dividend of all the good you do in this world.
@@PS-ci3rj Thank you, I appreciate that!
That was a heartbreaking comment you posted Stephen. I really feel for you. My dad passed away in 2012 with Lewy Body Dementia so I know what you're going through. May God be with you and show you His wonderful kindness and grace. May the love of His Son Jesus surround you and embrace you warmly. Please take care.
I guess in a way I was lucky that my husbands mental was toward the end of his life..And we were already retired and I received his full large police retirement.However he could not walk had to wear diapers and had a hard time talking..and on oxygen full time for 3 years..I cried all the time.I just lost him.
@@lindauribe6872 Sorry for your loss! It's definitely not an easy thing to watch...
Disease straight from hell. 😭😢
Thank you for your words. My heart felt them intensely. Dementia hit my mom (diagnosed at 69) 17.5 yrs ago and still going. It is cruel and painful to see someone that you love slowly or quickly slip away.
i am going through this now thanks for this.
I hope you find the supports you need.
Friends and relatives sometimes loose contact with you due to your husband " dementia disease " but it is was a physical problem they will keep in contact . I think people has fear of seeing the ill person for fear of their own ageing /mortality . Good luck ! You are doing a wonderful work.
Oh my God, I’m so sorry..how can anyone cope with this? I viscous disease. It’s been 12 years since this was aired….how is your life now Donna? 😢🙏🏻❤️
I have been waiting 23 years for a diagnosis.
My father died in 2106 at the age of 90. From 2012 we went thru hell on earth. We had to put him in assisted living go thru all his money except for the family home. People would talk to him and think we were monsters. We knew there was something wrong but didn`t know what it was. If a woman smiled at him or patted his hand he couldn`t control himself. At any moment he could get angry and lash out at us and wonder what was wrong with us. We walked on egg shells around him, whenever an insurance company changed policies or doctor offices changed procedures he would get upset. His own family doctors didn`t understand what FTD was . Its hard to say but cancer or heart disease at least has an end.
Shame on the doctors for exacerbating your family’s situation and compromising his care. They need to educate themselves with appropriate professional development.
God Bless you, Donna.
Its really the worst thing that could happen, nobody understands , they think you are at edge and emotional, thats true but they dont understand the reason, Be blessed
Ty so much. My husband has FTD . I can relate so well with you.
You are an awesome woman, and, I found this video just when I needed to. Thank you so very much! God bless you, Deedee
I recognise a lot of what you say. My husband is brain damaged due to a stroke, and his behaviour towards me is becoming increasingly abusive and childlike. I admire you for sticking it out. I am severely disabled due to advanced osteoarthritis, and I feel like walking out. I just can’t take it any more. Does that make me a bad person?
You should get help and look a a home for him xxx
No it makes you a person that knows your limits. Incorporate help, consider a facility. God bless you
Thank you so much Donna for sharing your story. xxx
I feel so sad about every form of dementia. My mother suffered and passed. It is hell on the family. Get help, get respite.
So beautifully expressed xxx
OMG YES!! I soooo understand the "Great" part of this. My mother did the same thing and HER Dr would look at me and say "She's fine. She said so". And I wanted to scream at her Dr... " YOU see her for 3.6 minutes and I had to MOVE in with her.. How can you say something so wrong WHEN YOU ARE THE DR?????" I was livid. Time after time. Until finally, one visit, they did a simple assessment and Mom had no idea how to draw a clock. Not a clue. She drew a squiggly line and a number 3 on a piece of paper and said that she was fine.
I cried.
The Dr frowned.
Mom giggled.
My mom died two years later from the rapidly deteriorating effects of her dementia.
This just guts me. I can't imagine. God bless you.
My cowboy love developed Picks disease which is the same thing you dealt with. He only lived about 2 years. He could not ride his horse, could not speak and needed supervision all the time. Its was horrible. I feel your pain intensely.
Thank you Donna 🙏🏽
And you can't talk to anyone about it. People told me I needed support. No one could give him the support he needed. I did it all. Our four sons couldn't accept that their dad was in this decline.
My uncle just diagnosed with FTD. We are still trying to accept and figuring it out.
She is my hero. I have a husband with dementia and I wake up hating it. I cry everyday. HUGS to everyone who is dealing with this.
Please look up dr. Ken Berry carnivore diet. It works!! A paradise for parents is a nursing home that out patients on ketogenic diet and some are going back home. We need fat, beef, cholesterol to build connective tissue and heal mylein sheath ! God bless!!!
Hi Gloria, how's your day going with you?
@@Paulohlsson7 hello! I'm dealing with an infection and although my spouse is trying his best to let me rest I cannot rest at all as I no longer know what he is going to do in the house. I'm always on edge. Thank you for asking!
@@GloriaLoftus very sorry about that, please you should try to get proper medication okay?
@@GloriaLoftus how are you spending your spare time?
I'm going through the same thing! He's 54 we are now broke and someone said we can get paid for caring for our husband but I don't know from where
Im so sorry you had /have to feel this grief daily
BEEN THERE. i'M SO SORRY you have to go through this.
You are amazing.
Really, I smile when I saw your comment. my dear. How many man are in your hand begging for your attention, because your beauty is so charming, and I believe no man can see you without telling you how beautiful you are, I believe your husband must be really lucky to have you in he's life, Dear. no man can resist your beauty. so tell me if you are the second woman GOD created after eve, how are you
i could have wrote that ,my story exactly !
Amazing talk. Thank you so.much.
Heartbreaking..i worry about myself at 59..
God Bless You. Im 46, ive been sick for 6 years now. My short term memory is basically gone. I have good and bad days, it took so long for the doctors to finally believe me that i know something is different with my brain! I was diagnosed with lupus then they said no and now we are doing great on my brain. I don't have an .y answers but i'm not the same and i know it's getting worse.
Kelly Mitchell hi Kelly, I have a husband and son having this. My son 26 has always been forgetful and notice he has long term and short term memory and very worried of his future. I think he realizes that it’s happening but, either doesn’t want to face at what level or just doesn’t see it. He also diagnosed with executive functions (ADHD)
My heart breaks for you .....
I was diagnosed with FTD last year. I don't want to be, a, burden to my family. We should be allowed to die with dignity!
I'm sorry to hear that. How are you doing know? Sorry for asking but how old are you cause I have been diagnosed too and I'm just 22
So true to my Mum & myself with my Papa.....but he doesn’t engage with any activity - I tried so hard 😔
Hi Rani, how's your day going with you?
Thank you... my Reza has FTD and his doctors dont help me i have to find things like this for help and comfort...
Hi Penny, how's your day going with you?
I feel for you.
Thanks for sharing
Very good, boy like man!
I'm saying the same thing as you!! Wow it is a beast! Do you know of a support group I can communicate with thanks.
what type of nutritional resources were offered to you? @IFM Functional Nutrition addresses root causes of dementia
Hi Diane, how's your day going with you?
Watching my sister be a caregiver to her dementia husband is heartbreaking. What we have found out is there is absolutely no help available for caregivers who aren't wealthy. Why don't churches have a caregivers day out where the caregiver can actually have just a couple of hours to breathe?
Exactly, I don’t know of any churches that do that…..
A bitch of a disease. Mom(84) has it, her sister (80)has it and a cousin of mine on their side died of it at 62, rapidly. I to have spent 19 months in anger, sadness, anxiety. Sold family home mom had designed, caught her sending $10000 of jewelry to her demented sister, who, when I stopped the chaos got mad at me. My father had bought my mother the jewelry, my aunt thought she should get it. She went into a dementia unit 6 months after my mom. We knew mom had dementia, my brother and i fought about it, what to do, between Thanksgiving and xmas eve, mom's birthday, in 2018. Then at 9am Christmas morning my sister-in-law called to tell me my 57 yr old brother had died in his sleep, this send the dementia in full spiral her baby had died a day after her birthday and a day after we had seen him, in less than 9 months later mom's doctor called me and said the dreaded words-your mother can no longer drive and live alone. Last year I set the house and belongings up for an estate sale only to have the pandemic come along and stop me in my tracks. Everything is in a storage unit, i sold the house.
2007 when dad died she had over a half a million dollars. She managed to piss it away on some jewelry and manic buying of things she just "couldn't" live without. She has paid for nursing home insurance for over 32 years of her life, she knew, she knew....don't let them fool you they know....
The kicker here is the neurologist told me after she had spent an hour with her that she had frontalobe dementia with a mental illness on top of it...she asked me how long I thought my mom had been mentally ill.....this explans my life growing up, i knew she was on a different plane, but boy has the ride become an eye opener. I'm preparing my 21 year old son for my last 30 years, I'm 62, he's on board and ready....no hoarding here.....open mind, open facts, and open love.
Take care to all, love the crazies, breathe deep, stay strong and take the time to beat a pillow, it helps with stress and it's only a pillow!
My mother has had mental health issues all her life too. The FLD has not made things better ........ it has put some of my early life in to perspective though as she is no longer able to keep her personality in check. My thoughts are with you.
I look after my Mom who has FTD... honestly it is draining, tiring and EXHAUSTING ... its just too close for me.. a conflict of interest..i shouldnt be telling my mother what to do..its not natural..and she resents it.. and we argue so much.she kicks against everything as she does not even realise she has it😢
Did the MRI show any atrophy in brain. How it FTD diagnosed ?
You are one fine brave lady thanks for sharing! Your husband is sooo ill I realize I bbelieve my son has this is there any soecialusts in pittsburgh pa. Area?
Hi Denise, how's your day going with you?
Try supplements in particular vitamin d and niacin or nmn with olive oil maybe regeneration will help
Very interesting sitting with a man that forgets what he said a half hour ago and argue he didnt say that. Can sit for hours not talking or comunicating. Get cross bery quickly. His brother was diagnozed with allzeimers a year older than him 56 but when he drinks so much he becomes more agro and confused. Now im worried he doesnt want to go check himself out so i must just sit and watch but the mental abuse is killing me and i have emphysema im sick cant take the stress anymore. But ill stick with him and see what happens what can i do i pray and pray
🙏🙏🙏 I hope prayers are answered and today is better 🤗❤️
Thanks
Is this called Pic's Dementia? My Dad had that
Bless you
Thank you. Powerful.
My mom was diagnosed at age 60.. Im only 38. My nan also has it. Im so scared Im going to get it and burden my wife and child whos only 4.
I buy my wife lladro ornaments which she can move about , dust and enjoy .
Something is causing this to happen to so many people . I suspect it’s something we are ingesting, medicines, food, or other environmental issues. In all my 76 years, I saw maybe 1 or 2 people with signs of dementia. Not the amount we see today. Maybe drugs, whether prescribed or not, is causing this.
it's such a pathetic disease.....my father is suffering frm same n I feel so devastating to see my mom.....love has jys collapsd fr me n my family......Ders jys no cure it makes d situation more worse......i jys figure out ways to help mom n dad lead a better life
life can be so twisted and cruel
My story
To a T.
How do you find out what type of Dementia someone has? My hubby
has early onset dementia... it's been 2 yrs and he can't even dress himself
Without help..When I asked what type of Dementia his Dr said "What
difference does it make?"
Oh, dear. It sounds as if you need a new physician - one who isn't ignorant and who actually cares about waht you're experiencing. Is there a charity you can reach out to for extra support for yourself - one which works with families as well as patients? Perhaps they can help you advocate for what you need. This is the beauty of people like Donna telling of her experiences. It brings people together to support one another and facilitates the sharing of knowledge. Kia kaha.
Get a GOOD doctor, NOW!!
The sound is never good in these videos
It’s just ridiculous that drs don’t know this!
My sister was diagnosed with this disease. She is 49, lives alone and about 3 hours from any family member. I have so many questions and don't know where to start. How fast does the decline start after diagnosis? What am I to expect? How can I help her? If anyone has any answers please let me know. Thanks in advance
Mommavilla
I’m can feel your panic, but also your genuine concern for your sister. The decline and specific ways they become affected really do vary with every individual. Meet her where she is at by being observant to what she struggles with. Change can be quick, but often it is spotty (she can do something now, but the next day or another time of day struggle with that same thing, then, be able to do it again). When you see those changes, start anticipating how to help her. Her safety is #1. Your relationship and trust with her is also paramount. This can be tough... but meet changes and challenges with as much empathy and understanding as you can. All across the country and local to your sister should be 1) an aging and disability resource 2) a country social worker 3) to help navigate ANY point in dementia, a free resource called “A Place for Mom” has senior advisers who are amazingly helpful with resources and ideas. Google or go to the website and they’ll get you going with an advisor in your area/sister’s area. I hope this is helpful. 💗 Thank you for caring and reaching out on behalf of your sister.
@@sonjariddle6079 I am so grateful for your response. I am sorry i did not respond sooner. I am definitely going to take the time to check into the resources you gave me. I thank you so much for taking the time to help me. This has given me a starting point and i feel so much better. God Bless you, Namaste and I appreciate you more than you know.
Mommavilla You are so welcome. Wishing you and your sister the best!
My wife has this - she had to quit working in 2017 due to losing her memory and progressively lost her speech completely. She was diagnosed finally in Jan 2020. At this time she needs help with every aspect of life - bathing, dressing, using the toilet. She's gone from working in a technical field to mentally becoming a small child in four years. From what I read, the course of this disease averages 7 to 8 years from the onset of obvious symptoms. It does vary a lot from person to person, so that is just an average.
*
e..?! Bless you. Good god lady, you have been through hell. I am doing strange things, i dont want my wife to take your place. I will end it, god forgive me.
Larry Brooks ...do not do that....the heartbreak and emotional damage that suicide does to those who love you tears at their souls the rest of their lives. There are things now that can turn things around and ensure better quality of life. Daily exercise, no processed foods- fast foods..flour..pizzas...breads..grains..gluten, packaged foods, processed snacks, starches, a serious problem sugar, fructose, artifical sweetners, the bad oils canola..corn oil, peanut oil, margarine, vegetable oils, ...get on a keto and carnivore diet. Use only coconut oil..olive oil and pure rendered lard..these oils HEAL THE BRAIN...you need a functional doctor ..Dr bearsden is one..there are many good ones on line..some prefer vegs...read all comments ...learn from Dr daniel Amen..Dr Berg, Dr Eckberg, DR MARY NEWPORT GOOGLE AND READ EVERYTHING YOU CAN ON MCT OIL & COCONUT OIL...B1 BENFOTIAMINE 300 MG DAILY & MORE..B12 METHYLCOBALAMINE ..NIACIN..B6..ALL THE B vits..D3 a must with m7k2 ..m7k2 takes the calcium out of blood vessels which causes the plaque & sends it to the bones where it is needed...there is so much to all this get busy and study ...these drs give honest assessments..I had a functional Dr as a private dr...that became out of sight in price. These on utube have given a lot of much need knowledge. Nutritional yeast is a must & now for more strength VItal Proteins....gather knowledge make decisions ..have blood work done determine what is best for you. You may want to begin with a private functional Dr its pricey but a good learning tool ..standard process is a good vit source ...you need a neurologist who works with brain diseases..
Mri..cat scan to find out what ur problem is...u could have any number of problems..from blood pressure..vascular problems..not enough oxygen to brain..a sm growth ..& not necessarily a cancer..u may have had a tia..a mini stroke and the brain can heal it self...stop the guessing get busy you may end up pleasantly surprised..
There is help. Stress causes lapses as well...Good Luck...blessings to you
...
55 😑
I know where she got her necklace!! I have one similar. Love it!! ❤❤
such a cruel, CRUEL, disease.
Put yourself in his shoes for once though..... has anybody ever told you something like you tell him? For example, imagine his struggles compared to yours, and he hears you treating him like a kid a the time, asking him what he's doing.
Give him more love and he won't take so much from you. Give.
And don't be mad at me plz.