I enjoyed the fact that Ben did not have a big and complicated philosophical reason to escape, but instead just a small act of kindness that crumbled the wall with the world.
Yes, we all need to learn from this. If you see someone in this situation-don’t attack, don’t run away, instead speak kindly and carefully and offer help.
It's wonderful to hear the male perspective of being in a cult because majority seem to be women who speak out. Ben is so brave and wonderful for sharing his story! Keep up the great work Shalise
I think its maybe because men aren't as harmed by some of these cults, obviously if you're outside the inner circle you probably are still being abused in some way. Plus as far as we've come in the last few years, men are still discouraged from talking about emotions or mental health problems.
@@nickywalI don't know if I would say that men are "less harmed." More that men are more likely to be able to use a cult to their advantage. But only very specific men are able to do this reliably. Most men in a cult are gonna sort of be screwed.
@@rosesweetcharlotte Men are generally under less strict rules than the women and often have more outside access to get help or even understand that its available. But of course like I said, unless you're one of Warren's cronies or one of the brothers that leads the order, you're probably suffering some kind of abuse from the leaders
I am a mother of 4 children and I stay at home. It can be a challenge to give 4 children enough attention sometimes, so 28? Insanity. Those poor children :(
I was the eldest of 5, and my poor stay-at-home mom didn’t have enough for all of us. Fortunately, she didn’t expect the older ones to raise the younger ones as happens in these cases.
I’ve had 4 boys and have raised 13 boys and 1 girl. I have 6 still home. I have been a stay at home mom for 16 years. It’s a struggle now that I’m so old but our youngest is 4 so I must keep going!
It’s really awesome how he helped with the “Lost Boys” house. Very commendable. Thank you for sharing! There are loving kind people in all walks of life. I’m so glad people and organizations helped all those boys.
You are such a great interviewer. This was a great one. Your cousin and her husband were very open and had lots of positive things to tell us. He had a loving home and much happiness in his childhood. Working every day at 11 is mind blowing.
Wow. Such HUGE hearts on display in Ben and Wendy 💗 Their impact on the world is hard to even imagine, they’ve helped change generations of lives for the better.
The Devil's chapstick. Now I've heard it all. How incredible it is that he left at the "perfect" time and had such a loving childhood. I am so thankful that the Lost Boys have somewhere to go other than the streets. Thank you for sharing your story! I've never actually enjoyed myself during one of these stories, and that means a lot. ❤
I feel uplifted by his positivity and his ability to simultaneously hold two different experiences as true. He recognizes the greater harm done while treasuring positive aspects of his childhood.
Right! In the one documentary from a few years ago-there was a lady who agreed to talk to them-she was so nice, and so indoctrinated. She was well spoken, and looked back at growing up in the area, and I thought, ‘I want to be her friend.’ But she wouldn’t feel safe with me, and that made me really sad.✌️♥️
You can literally do no wrong. Every single interview you do is incredibly well-produced, and your interview style is unmatched, in my opinion. Thank you for the work you do. It is so important to keep the FLDS in the spotlight, because the recent revelations coming from Warren (or whomever...I know there is discussion surrounding that) are terrifying. Your work is so special! ❤
28:58 - Ben you didn’t tangent off, you said “I don’t know why I went off on that one…” it’s because the topic you were talking about- your sisters overly demanding household duties and the overwhelming feeling of having to get to Texas to get to the Celestial kingdom, is something so disheartening to see and scary to all feel. Thank you for bringing light and being vulnerable enough to share the struggle you felt and saw Ben. You talked about it because it’s important to you, and I see why. Thank you again for being vulnerable about your experiences. True bravery!
Thank you so much for sharing this story. I am so glad Ben landed safely and helped others to do so. My sense of justice is so outraged at the exploitation of these children who were denied an education and though the boys were taught work skills and a sense of purpose so much else was kept from both the boys and the girls trapping them into a system that was basically a structure of human trafficking enforced by fear. As long as the few most powerful old men take all the prettiest young women in their most fertile years for themselves there will always be lost boys. This must end.
I love this man's story! You very rarely hear about ex members reflect on their childhood with fondness. It's proof that everything in life is on a spectrum. He has such a gentle energy! LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!!!
Growing up in polygamy Sam does too, although he acknowledges that he left before Warren completely lost it and also with his dad being the mayor of Short Creek they probably had it a bit easier.
When I went to college in St George, there were2 "lost boys" brothers in our friend group. I think some of us knew, but didn't really know what it meant. I can still see their faces and often wonder where they are. It never occurred to me to ask if they needed help. I had been a member only 3 years so there was already a lot of strange things to learn...
Great to hear Ben's story and how they're both helping people leave the cult. I remember when the FLDS story broke in BC Canada (Bountiful, I think). There was a documentary made about it "The Road to Bountiful". No one here knew what was happening, but it unraveled Jeff's cult leadership. Thanks Ben, Wendy and Shelise.
@@jaynekendall3049 It's worth doing, just to spot things that don't make sense, lol. Like, the OT mentions plenty of women by name, but I don't recall even seeing one woman mentioned in the BofM.
So much love! It's a joy to witness people getting out, loving life and the people around them, and still supporting others on their journeys out. Does a heart good.
This is great! I new someone who I was told was a "Lost Boy", I don't know if he was, but he is a Barlow. He had a 3rd grade education, but he is darn smart and super driven! He ended up marrying my cousin and apparenlty he is doing really well in life. Super great guy.
Great episode! I really liked hearing Ben's experience with how he grew up. Nice to think it wasn't all bad. At first, when ya think about it from a kid's point of view, it doesn't sound bad having a few moms, and all these brothers and sisters to play with. Would Ben's sisters be willing to talk about their perspective?
Ive been down a mormon rabbit hole for weeks now . I did a right turn at one point and found the order and ended up finding this channel . When i think ive heard it all im left speechless by finding out new stuff My head is ready to fall off 🥴😂😂😂 xxxx
You sound like me from a year ago. I’m still here. It’s endlessly facinating on so many levels. Mormon Stories Podcast has a great series with Mormon Discussions where they talk through the culture and doctrine in deep detail. So interesting
Something that's important to note, Ben had a good childhood. So many raised in these highly controlled situations did not have a childhood let alone a good one. Thank you for sharing your story.
Great show!! Our son moved to UT, and after visiting him the first time I felt like I was being reminded of the Old Testament constantly by the naming of everything. Nothing wrong with that, but in watching all these special Mormon shows, I feel like there’s SO many things that I didn’t know before relating to peoples’ lives there, and I will see things in a different light when I visit my son in the future.
This was fantastic. Thank you so much you guys for coming on. I would LOVE to see an episode with Ben and from Sam @Growing Up in Polygamy comparing notes. It seems like it wasn't so bad for the boys in the early days... then again, it seems like their experience depended largely on their nuclear family dynamic. It would also be super awesome to have an episode with Wendy and Melissa from Growing up in Polygamy and hear their stories of what it's like to marry a former FLDS member.
Thanks for this wonderful uplifting episode. I’m so thankful that all of those people did get out and are doing so well. One thing I’m curious about is what are their religious beliefs now? Are they raising their kids in the Mormon faith? It’s personal I know. I’m just wondering. ❤ hugs to Shelise !
Hi Shelise! LOVE your channel! Your interviews are great. Love that you spotlighted Ben's story. I can't shake the feeling that there are voices missing meaning that his sisters might feel VERY differently about the fairly positive reflection of their upbringing/situation in a cult which made me feel a bit unsettled. I'd be super interested to hear an interview from their perspective. I think men in Ben's position probably had it a lot better than the females but I could be totally wrong which is why I'd be fascinated to hear an interview from the females in his family/circle. Thanks and keep up the great content as you do!
Thank you! Yes, we have been trying to get women from his family on. All have declined as of now. It’s truly a brave thing (as you know) sharing the traumas of one’s life so I can’t blame them for not wanting to.
@@CultstoConsciousness this is tangental but I was wondering if you'd consider putting "every day's a great day not to be in a cult" on apparel/merch. I think that's what Aaron from growing up in scientology says and I believe you might have interviewed him? Just an idea:)
This was amazing. Such heartwarming snippets of people discovering life, like the swimming thing. And your cousin is so cool. I'm so happy they finally shared on your channel!
It's so awesome that you guys helped out your siblings once you left. You seem to have a really good heart and that's wonderful. Good luck in the future.
Hello Shelise and Jonathan, I am currently listening to the last episode of "A LIttle Bit Culty" and they have Yasmine Mohammed as guest. She is a former Muslim that was forced by her mother into Extreme Islam and married to a Al-Qaeda terrorist now in jail. She has now written a book "Unveiled" and I think she has an interesting story to tell. Very relevant to the present moment too.
Thoroughly enjoyed this video. As others have mentioned, good to hear the men's perspective of this situation. I love Ben's sense of humour and he seems like a big teddy bear- gentle AND kind.
Ps: I just want y’all to know that I appreciate y’all so much for sharing because I’m sure that the pain must be so intense know that y’all know different
Have you heard of Owen Morgan (formerly Telltale Atheist)? He grew up in JW and was disfellowshipped (and kicked out of home) at 18, while he was still in high school. His story is so interesting and so heartbreaking and the work he is doing now is amazing, I think he'd be a great guest for the show!
@@jennysmith1468 yes, I know a lady who has been pulled into JW, and I worry for her and her family. It’s hard to see. We just give them love and don’t talk about it-she literally gets a panic response if you question her.😢
@@justkiddin84yes, I'm an ex-JW and you're supposed to be knowledgeable and joyful and be able to neatly refute any criticism. When you can't, you're eligible for some pretty harsh discipline. My sisters and other family members are still in. My middle sister is forced to interact with me because she's a cashier at a store I sometimes visit in our town, and she's so scared and beaten down to be seen to acknowledge that I'm alive 😢
Hello, from one Wendy to another! You are beatific, you're an amazing couple, and I'm glad as ever that you both survived and thrive, and helped so many others do the same.
Great interview. Such a fun couple ❤thank you for all you did to help others. Would love to see an interview with someone from the lebaron group. Have read some books from people that grew up in it and they were heartbreaking but also very interesting.
I very much enjoyed listening to them! What lovely kind hearts they have!! They are amazing for overcoming everything they were taught to believe, and yet still reach out and help others. Blessings to all of you and keep up the great work!
Ben’s story is so succinct and informative. Even after all he’s been through, he has a cheerful spirit-it is amazing! Thank God he got out of the cult. Wendy is so supportive it’s unbelievable. What a special couple.
😢 i been waiting on someone to cover this. They addressed it briefly on Escaping Polygamy. I'm still trying to understand how they expect the cults to survive if they keep kicking out the boys
We have been trying hard to find more lost boys who are willing to be interviewed. It’s my understanding that before Warren went to prison, he would send the boys away to do big construction jobs which kept them away from the girls but still working for the group
Very interesting. So nice to hear he found good people. Sounds like he actually has very fine mathematical thinking skills. Between his construction skills I noticed that he had fabulous money management skills too.
I was not born or raised with a religion. My single mother went to a Catholic school growing up until she started highschool. She chose to let me and my younger brother decide on a religion as we grew up or as adults or not one at all...our choice. The thing is i have a hard time making up my mind or making choices as it is and I cant even imagine ppl who come away from these STRICT religious families that followed their church/cult rules who had every decision made for them...can you imagine the very first person who ever volentarily ran away from any of these cults? Wow!
Shelise, your channel is LEGENDARY, I watched almost everything, thank you so much! I've got a question though: as long as you're doing your researches on "high demand" religions, I'm wondering why don't you speak out for muslims? I grew up in a country with many muslim regions, and my entire life I read (and watch, and hear) about real cases of forced under-aged marriages, forced pregnancies, strict purity culture, honour killings, plural wifes and other horrible stories, mostly about poor women that just don't know any better and can't get rid of their male masters. Okay, this religion don't split into specific small groups, but...this is the same old sh-t, this problem is HUGE, these women die from the hands of their fathers, husbands and brothers, they suffer, get ostracized, loose children in the name of honour or god or whatever. I don't exaggerate, and I don't want to be offensive, i really think we should sort this out, and i'm sure there are plenty of women waiting to come forward.
Thank you so much! That is an area we have been considering and looking into. It’s also been tricky finding specific people who are willing to be vocal. We definitely know it’s a big problem that needs to be called out. Thanks for your support!
So interesting seeing something that falls so close to you Shelise!! Ben & Wendy, you are saviors of your own fate as well as many others. The work you all do shows the tremendous compassion you guys carry, keep at it!! Absolutely loved this interview!!! Love and support as always!!!🖤🖤
Thank you. Watching from Alaska. 🕊🤍🫂🤍🕊 When I escaped the Gothard influenced 'family' at 18 in 71 there was no outside support system. I am very happy to see the compassion demonstrated in these interviews. Blessings.
Wendy & Ben are so sweet. Just seeing this interview makes me want to know them. I loved the story about the boys playing in the pool. Ben made an interesting point that I have found true in life, it's more than often people who barely have means to help that will bend over backwards for others. Sometimes folks that hardly have enough for themselves.😁❤💓👍💪
In our world today, the consensus is often low on charities being real & truly doing good. Its great that people can come to these channels & find charities to help whilst the charities are actually helping real humans & not just paying their overheads.
The women who escaped rarely had enough education to get a decent paying job. Construction pays more than waitressing. They also had to learn a whole new way of discerning trustworthy people vs predators. Their previous lives had been filled with rules of obedience, whether or not they actually felt safe with the men in charge.
This was really interesting! I have heard about the Lost Boys from the FLDS but I've never heard what the other large polygamist groups like the Order or the AUB do with the extra males. I would love to see a video on that!
In a few cults that practice polygamy, there are more than a few cases of sons scrapping with each other over their father's "throne". The case of the now rather obscure "Your Black Muslim Bakery" comes to mind. It was run by a man, Yusef Bey who was curious mix of a cult leader and mafia don, and like Jeffs, was also notorious for his "love" of teenage girls. When Bey passed away, his swarm of sons fought each other for their father's throne, and whole YBMB criminal empire collapsed into squabbling factions. Their "famous" bakery, which served as the front for their operations, fell into squalor and was shut down by the health authorities.
The big man phenomenon, one person can have the drive and charisma to build an empire or a cult but it rarely survives them. The Mongols are one of the few exceptions, they not only survived but thrived in the hands of his brothers
I think the Mongols survived because the were valued strong women as well as men. Ghengis Kahn’s favorite child was a daughter and she had considerable authority militarily. By valuing strength and intelligence regardless of gender, you’re going to ensure that children are born to equally strong influences. If the men die, their wives can carry on and raise capable children. Mind you, I’m not saying the Mongolian empire was sunshine and roses, but they definitely expected their wives and daughters to be equally blood thirsty and warlike. A people endures when men can die knowing their wives and children can continue to thrive. Encourage incompetence and incapabilities in women and you encourage weak offspring. Size in dogs any many types of livestock are determined by the sire not the dam. If you want a larger hybrid of two dogs, you want the mother to be the larger, stronger breed. Not that humans are livestock, but mammals are mammals.
@@Catmom-gl5nt that's true and also like the Romans they embraced diversity. Sure we could come, burn, rape, pillage. Or join the empire, get all the benefits. Ghengis was interesting, woman held high status because he worshipped the ground his mother walked on, having kept him and his siblings alive in exile. He also taught complete religious tolerance, many of his sons married Christian women and he had advisors from a lot of different religions and backgrounds
Yeah their pastries sickened me several times. OP doesn't even mention the broad daylight assassination in Downtown Oakland that was carried out under the orders of Bey.
My friend married a son of Rulon Jeffs and is Warren’s brother. She’s getting divorced from him and her children are growing up and want to change their name because they are so disgusted with it.
Lol. Friend-if you were working at 10 you can't get in trouble for that. The adults are responsible for that. No worries ;) PS. So sorry you lost your mom like that. And then had to watch your dad suffer, too. Even thought you understand where your dad is coming from.
These two are amazing❤ it's wonderful that they're able to do this. Takes a lot of Courage they are both just beautiful people that need to come back on and talk some more the time just the Zips away
That’s right! They grew up in the same place. I actually remember asking Sam (when we did an interview with him and Melissa) if he knew Ben, but he couldn’t recall without seeing a photo
Sam and Ben both describe happy childhoods and loving families. Yet the second they hit 18, they were outta there. The post Warren Jeff's group had no such nurturing foundation. Still, the result is the same. Why? How did they leave everything they had ever known? There is a mystery in there that I can't verbalize, much less solve.
@@jacquelinek5036 From what I understand, part of it is realizing they would not have the opportunity to build big loving families like they had grown up in due to population imbalances. Of course, this is only one factor, but it isn't a tiny one.
What I understand from this interview and the many interviews with Sam; is that life was pretty good until Warren came into power; he made so many aweful changes 😭
19:28 PAY TO PLAY ‼️‼️ Thank you for finally saying it, out loud for what it really is! As a “dry Mormon” I know Missionaries have a marketing ploy by saying families are forever, NOT CAN BE FOREVER… just being a believer does not guarantee you a spot in the Celestial Kingdom, let alone make you considered an exalted being there.. there’s different positions in Heaven based on loyalty and money, but they don’t say it for what it actually is!
I enjoyed the fact that Ben did not have a big and complicated philosophical reason to escape, but instead just a small act of kindness that crumbled the wall with the world.
Yes, we all need to learn from this. If you see someone in this situation-don’t attack, don’t run away, instead speak kindly and carefully and offer help.
It's wonderful to hear the male perspective of being in a cult because majority seem to be women who speak out. Ben is so brave and wonderful for sharing his story! Keep up the great work Shalise
Thank you! Yes, we are so happy he agreed to come on and share with Wendy!
I think its maybe because men aren't as harmed by some of these cults, obviously if you're outside the inner circle you probably are still being abused in some way. Plus as far as we've come in the last few years, men are still discouraged from talking about emotions or mental health problems.
@@nickywalI don't know if I would say that men are "less harmed." More that men are more likely to be able to use a cult to their advantage. But only very specific men are able to do this reliably. Most men in a cult are gonna sort of be screwed.
@@rosesweetcharlotte Men are generally under less strict rules than the women and often have more outside access to get help or even understand that its available. But of course like I said, unless you're one of Warren's cronies or one of the brothers that leads the order, you're probably suffering some kind of abuse from the leaders
@@nickywalI think they may be harmed as much, but differently.
As an only child, I can’t imagine growing up with 28 siblings. There is absolutely no way that the father can be a good parent to that many children.
I am a mother of 4 children and I stay at home. It can be a challenge to give 4 children enough attention sometimes, so 28? Insanity. Those poor children :(
I was the eldest of 5, and my poor stay-at-home mom didn’t have enough for all of us. Fortunately, she didn’t expect the older ones to raise the younger ones as happens in these cases.
That's why the oldest children, usually the oldest girls are forced to take responsibility for their siblings
I’ve had 4 boys and have raised 13 boys and 1 girl. I have 6 still home. I have been a stay at home mom for 16 years. It’s a struggle now that I’m so old but our youngest is 4 so I must keep going!
Only child here too! I went to school with kids that had 8 or 9 siblings, that always blew my mind….can’t even imagine 28!
The strength of those who have gotten out, and still have sympathy for those still in, is simply incredible. Well done, all 3 of you!
It is amazing but I believe that you become friends go to school together hang out together
Thank you!
Benn has such a good vibe❤love that he continued to help family members leaving the FLDS. Happy he's found someone so supportive like Wendy 🦄🤍
Thank you for continuing to shed light on how abusive cults are. 😔
It’s really awesome how he helped with the “Lost Boys” house. Very commendable.
Thank you for sharing!
There are loving kind people in all walks of life. I’m so glad people and organizations helped all those boys.
You are such a great interviewer. This was a great one. Your cousin and her husband were very open and had lots of positive things to tell us. He had a loving home and much happiness in his childhood. Working every day at 11 is mind blowing.
Thank you!
@@CultstoConsciousnesswow, you and your cousin have a similar hairline and hairstyle! Love it. Mrs Kerry
Btw an interview with ex Seventh-day Adventists would be interesting. Only few people know how cultish they really are
Agreed!
The only show I've seen talk about how strict they are is of all things gilmore girls, its what Lane was raised in
I'd love to see this!
I’ve heard a lot about them in the context of “the garden of Eden diet” and the Kelloggs…
@@smooth_pursuitWhy am I not even shocked that the paedo obsessed with little boys was part of it
What a delightful couple and I am so appreciative of his honesty and guilelessness.
Wow. Such HUGE hearts on display in Ben and Wendy 💗 Their impact on the world is hard to even imagine, they’ve helped change generations of lives for the better.
The Devil's chapstick. Now I've heard it all. How incredible it is that he left at the "perfect" time and had such a loving childhood. I am so thankful that the Lost Boys have somewhere to go other than the streets. Thank you for sharing your story! I've never actually enjoyed myself during one of these stories, and that means a lot. ❤
I feel uplifted by his positivity and his ability to simultaneously hold two different experiences as true. He recognizes the greater harm done while treasuring positive aspects of his childhood.
Prayers for all that escaped and for the ones that are left.
Right! In the one documentary from a few years ago-there was a lady who agreed to talk to them-she was so nice, and so indoctrinated. She was well spoken, and looked back at growing up in the area, and I thought, ‘I want to be her friend.’ But she wouldn’t feel safe with me, and that made me really sad.✌️♥️
Wow, it turns out enlightenment and service to others runs deep in your family, Shelise! That's so lovely. 💕
🥰
Be kind! You never know what other people go through every day.❤
You can literally do no wrong. Every single interview you do is incredibly well-produced, and your interview style is unmatched, in my opinion. Thank you for the work you do. It is so important to keep the FLDS in the spotlight, because the recent revelations coming from Warren (or whomever...I know there is discussion surrounding that) are terrifying. Your work is so special! ❤
28:58 - Ben you didn’t tangent off, you said “I don’t know why I went off on that one…” it’s because the topic you were talking about- your sisters overly demanding household duties and the overwhelming feeling of having to get to Texas to get to the Celestial kingdom, is something so disheartening to see and scary to all feel.
Thank you for bringing light and being vulnerable enough to share the struggle you felt and saw Ben. You talked about it because it’s important to you, and I see why. Thank you again for being vulnerable about your experiences. True bravery!
Thank you so much for sharing this story. I am so glad Ben landed safely and helped others to do so. My sense of justice is so outraged at the exploitation of these children who were denied an education and though the boys were taught work skills and a sense of purpose so much else was kept from both the boys and the girls trapping them into a system that was basically a structure of human trafficking enforced by fear. As long as the few most powerful old men take all the prettiest young women in their most fertile years for themselves there will always be lost boys. This must end.
And it’s so gross. Imagine having to have sex as a teen with some 70 year old man. Ugh.
I love this man's story! You very rarely hear about ex members reflect on their childhood with fondness. It's proof that everything in life is on a spectrum. He has such a gentle energy! LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!!!
Growing up in polygamy Sam does too, although he acknowledges that he left before Warren completely lost it and also with his dad being the mayor of Short Creek they probably had it a bit easier.
When I went to college in St George, there were2 "lost boys" brothers in our friend group. I think some of us knew, but didn't really know what it meant. I can still see their faces and often wonder where they are. It never occurred to me to ask if they needed help. I had been a member only 3 years so there was already a lot of strange things to learn...
Great to hear Ben's story and how they're both helping people leave the cult. I remember when the FLDS story broke in BC Canada (Bountiful, I think). There was a documentary made about it "The Road to Bountiful". No one here knew what was happening, but it unraveled Jeff's cult leadership. Thanks Ben, Wendy and Shelise.
I’ll have to watch that one!
@@CultstoConsciousness I think it was by the CBC
I’ve heard of that but didn’t know what it was about!
Me too; but I had heard about the Bountiful cult; my church usto pray for them when I lived in BC Now I live in Saskatchewan
The days the media showed up was weird. Bountiful is where I live but I have changed so much as I’ve learned to let myself do what I want.
I read the Book of Mormon out of curiosity and it was extremely hard to get through, lol. Glad to know Mormons also have a difficult time with it.
It’s legit the worst 😂
I thought about doing that so I'm glad I read your comment first before I tried 😂
@@jaynekendall3049 It's worth doing, just to spot things that don't make sense, lol. Like, the OT mentions plenty of women by name, but I don't recall even seeing one woman mentioned in the BofM.
@@timriehl1500 lol I might give it a go just out of curiosity, but I'm not religious AT ALL, but at least reading your comments gave me a heads up 😂
@@CultstoConsciousness can't wait for Maven and I to get you on our show!
Been waiting for you to do a video on the lost boys
Me too!!
We have been trying for weeks to get someone to agree to an interview. Finally convinced my cousin who helped convince Ben 😜 I’m so happy they agreed!
Me too 😄
Your story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you thank you thank you for what you did for those kids to help them choose to have a different life.
This was a great interview. Was so impressed with this lovely man.
So much love! It's a joy to witness people getting out, loving life and the people around them, and still supporting others on their journeys out. Does a heart good.
This was such a FUN interview!! I love these two!! 😻
Thanks for sharing your story. This world is so full of children that need kindness and adults that need something else.
This is great! I new someone who I was told was a "Lost Boy", I don't know if he was, but he is a Barlow. He had a 3rd grade education, but he is darn smart and super driven! He ended up marrying my cousin and apparenlty he is doing really well in life. Super great guy.
I’d love to hear from him!! If he’s interested in sharing he can email me at cultstoconsciousness@gmail.com
He seems like such a genuine, sweet man. Lovely couple. Glad he seems to have a happy life now.
I enjoyed hearing Bens perspective of the FLDS and Ben & Wendys story together. What wonderful people God puts together. ❤️
Great episode! I really liked hearing Ben's experience with how he grew up. Nice to think it wasn't all bad. At first, when ya think about it from a kid's point of view, it doesn't sound bad having a few moms, and all these brothers and sisters to play with. Would Ben's sisters be willing to talk about their perspective?
We are in the process of asking some of his family members 😊
Interesting perspective! How hard working! Congrats on your family!❤
Thank you for sharing your painful experience. You are such a beautiful human 💛
Ive been down a mormon rabbit hole for weeks now . I did a right turn at one point and found the order and ended up finding this channel . When i think ive heard it all im left speechless by finding out new stuff
My head is ready to fall off 🥴😂😂😂 xxxx
Haha you’re tellin ME! Just when I think I’ve heard it all…..
Welcome to the C2C rabbit hole where you’ll find even darker corners of cult living
You sound like me from a year ago. I’m still here. It’s endlessly facinating on so many levels. Mormon Stories Podcast has a great series with Mormon Discussions where they talk through the culture and doctrine in deep detail. So interesting
@HannahMitchell-Art i watch mormon stories podcasts x i feel like it could be my specialist subject on mastermind (uk quiz show) x
What an amazing couple! Thank you both for your kind and generous hearts!
I love these long videos! I hate how short videos have become so popular. Thank you for helping all these people share their stories in a safe place
Thank you for appreciating them! They take about 6-10 hours of post production so it’s nice to hear people enjoy the longer run time!
Something that's important to note, Ben had a good childhood. So many raised in these highly controlled situations did not have a childhood let alone a good one. Thank you for sharing your story.
Great show!! Our son moved to UT, and after visiting him the first time I felt like I was being reminded of the Old Testament constantly by the naming of everything. Nothing wrong with that, but in watching all these special Mormon shows, I feel like there’s SO many things that I didn’t know before relating to peoples’ lives there, and I will see things in a different light when I visit my son in the future.
So interesting to hear their story. Thank you for sharing!
This was fantastic. Thank you so much you guys for coming on. I would LOVE to see an episode with Ben and from Sam @Growing Up in Polygamy comparing notes. It seems like it wasn't so bad for the boys in the early days... then again, it seems like their experience depended largely on their nuclear family dynamic. It would also be super awesome to have an episode with Wendy and Melissa from Growing up in Polygamy and hear their stories of what it's like to marry a former FLDS member.
I remember seeing the Lost Boys in the news at the time. My heart went tour to them. I’m so glad to see that, at least some, ended up doing well.
What a lovely man. I just listened at bedtime. Thank you from Ireland
Such a great couple sharing their story. Thank you for sharing. I loved listening!
I learn so much with every video I watch. I appreciate the stule and tone of Shalise. The people she interviews are genuine.
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Thanks for this wonderful uplifting episode. I’m so thankful that all of those people did get out and are doing so well. One thing I’m curious about is what are their religious beliefs now? Are they raising their kids in the Mormon faith? It’s personal I know. I’m just wondering. ❤ hugs to Shelise !
Fantastic interview; Ben and Wendy are stars.
I can totally feel your appreciation for your family of origin. So glad it was good for you and your family.
Hi Shelise! LOVE your channel! Your interviews are great. Love that you spotlighted Ben's story. I can't shake the feeling that there are voices missing meaning that his sisters might feel VERY differently about the fairly positive reflection of their upbringing/situation in a cult which made me feel a bit unsettled. I'd be super interested to hear an interview from their perspective. I think men in Ben's position probably had it a lot better than the females but I could be totally wrong which is why I'd be fascinated to hear an interview from the females in his family/circle. Thanks and keep up the great content as you do!
Thank you! Yes, we have been trying to get women from his family on. All have declined as of now. It’s truly a brave thing (as you know) sharing the traumas of one’s life so I can’t blame them for not wanting to.
@@CultstoConsciousness Hi Shelise! I agree it's truly brave and I can't blame them for not wanting to. Thanks for you response:)
@@CultstoConsciousness this is tangental but I was wondering if you'd consider putting "every day's a great day not to be in a cult" on apparel/merch. I think that's what Aaron from growing up in scientology says and I believe you might have interviewed him? Just an idea:)
Wow! These two are such an inspiration! They are doing such an amazing & wonderful thing...
Thank you for sharing!
This was amazing. Such heartwarming snippets of people discovering life, like the swimming thing. And your cousin is so cool. I'm so happy they finally shared on your channel!
It's so inspiring to se your videos, and this one touch my soul thank you Ben and Wendy bless you and your family.
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Thank you for sharing your story. I truly believe it's your positivity that got you through some of those trouble sometimes.
It's so awesome that you guys helped out your siblings once you left. You seem to have a really good heart and that's wonderful. Good luck in the future.
Hello Shelise and Jonathan, I am currently listening to the last episode of "A LIttle Bit Culty" and they have Yasmine Mohammed as guest. She is a former Muslim that was forced by her mother into Extreme Islam and married to a Al-Qaeda terrorist now in jail. She has now written a book "Unveiled" and I think she has an interesting story to tell. Very relevant to the present moment too.
Yes!! Good idea!
Ben and Wendy are such amazing people!
Amazing! Thank you for sharing!
Thoroughly enjoyed this video. As others have mentioned, good to hear the men's perspective of this situation. I love Ben's sense of humour and he seems like a big teddy bear- gentle AND kind.
Thank you for sharing your story!
Ps: I just want y’all to know that I appreciate y’all so much for sharing because I’m sure that the pain must be so intense know that y’all know different
Have you heard of Owen Morgan (formerly Telltale Atheist)? He grew up in JW and was disfellowshipped (and kicked out of home) at 18, while he was still in high school. His story is so interesting and so heartbreaking and the work he is doing now is amazing, I think he'd be a great guest for the show!
Yes! We have reached out but never got a response from him
Oh that's a shame, hopefully he will.. Jehovahs witnesses are just as damaging and cruel as these other cults unfortunately 😔
@@jennysmith1468 yes, I know a lady who has been pulled into JW, and I worry for her and her family. It’s hard to see. We just give them love and don’t talk about it-she literally gets a panic response if you question her.😢
@@justkiddin84yes, I'm an ex-JW and you're supposed to be knowledgeable and joyful and be able to neatly refute any criticism. When you can't, you're eligible for some pretty harsh discipline. My sisters and other family members are still in. My middle sister is forced to interact with me because she's a cashier at a store I sometimes visit in our town, and she's so scared and beaten down to be seen to acknowledge that I'm alive 😢
@@sandydenman6083 I’m so sorry. Glad you are not in that, but losing them is such a huge price. I hope they wake up some day.✌️♥️
Hello, from one Wendy to another! You are beatific, you're an amazing couple, and I'm glad as ever that you both survived and thrive, and helped so many others do the same.
Great interview. Such a fun couple ❤thank you for all you did to help others.
Would love to see an interview with someone from the lebaron group. Have read some books from people that grew up in it and they were heartbreaking but also very interesting.
I will look into it! Thanks!
I very much enjoyed listening to them! What lovely kind hearts they have!! They are amazing for overcoming everything they were taught to believe, and yet still reach out and help others. Blessings to all of you and keep up the great work!
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Ben’s story is so succinct and informative. Even after all he’s been through, he has a cheerful spirit-it is amazing! Thank God he got out of the cult. Wendy is so supportive it’s unbelievable. What a special couple.
😢 i been waiting on someone to cover this. They addressed it briefly on Escaping Polygamy. I'm still trying to understand how they expect the cults to survive if they keep kicking out the boys
We have been trying hard to find more lost boys who are willing to be interviewed. It’s my understanding that before Warren went to prison, he would send the boys away to do big construction jobs which kept them away from the girls but still working for the group
appreciate all the interviews! They are all so educating and fascinating!
Thank you for watching and supporting!
It's so nice to be a day late watching an episode and seeing there are already well more than 1000 views 😊
Very interesting. So nice to hear he found good people. Sounds like he actually has very fine mathematical thinking skills. Between his construction skills I noticed that he had fabulous money management skills too.
Great interview! Lovely couple.
Love this story. You are a fantastic interviewer :)
Thank you so much! That means a lot 🥰
I was not born or raised with a religion. My single mother went to a Catholic school growing up until she started highschool. She chose to let me and my younger brother decide on a religion as we grew up or as adults or not one at all...our choice. The thing is i have a hard time making up my mind or making choices as it is and I cant even imagine ppl who come away from these STRICT religious families that followed their church/cult rules who had every decision made for them...can you imagine the very first person who ever volentarily ran away from any of these cults? Wow!
You are incredible amazing human beings...❤
They are so lovely. Great episode❤
Shelise, your channel is LEGENDARY, I watched almost everything, thank you so much! I've got a question though: as long as you're doing your researches on "high demand" religions, I'm wondering why don't you speak out for muslims? I grew up in a country with many muslim regions, and my entire life I read (and watch, and hear) about real cases of forced under-aged marriages, forced pregnancies, strict purity culture, honour killings, plural wifes and other horrible stories, mostly about poor women that just don't know any better and can't get rid of their male masters. Okay, this religion don't split into specific small groups, but...this is the same old sh-t, this problem is HUGE, these women die from the hands of their fathers, husbands and brothers, they suffer, get ostracized, loose children in the name of honour or god or whatever. I don't exaggerate, and I don't want to be offensive, i really think we should sort this out, and i'm sure there are plenty of women waiting to come forward.
Thank you so much! That is an area we have been considering and looking into. It’s also been tricky finding specific people who are willing to be vocal. We definitely know it’s a big problem that needs to be called out. Thanks for your support!
So interesting seeing something that falls so close to you Shelise!!
Ben & Wendy, you are saviors of your own fate as well as many others. The work you all do shows the tremendous compassion you guys carry, keep at it!!
Absolutely loved this interview!!!
Love and support as always!!!🖤🖤
Thank you, Joel! ❤️
What an amazing and positive story you guys have to tell!
Thank you so much for this interview ❤️
Thank you. Watching from Alaska.
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When I escaped the Gothard influenced 'family' at 18 in 71 there was no outside support system.
I am very happy to see the compassion demonstrated in these interviews.
Blessings.
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I would love to hear your story!
Wendy & Ben are so sweet. Just seeing this interview makes me want to know them. I loved the story about the boys playing in the pool. Ben made an interesting point that I have found true in life, it's more than often people who barely have means to help that will bend over backwards for others. Sometimes folks that hardly have enough for themselves.😁❤💓👍💪
In our world today, the consensus is often low on charities being real & truly doing good. Its great that people can come to these channels & find charities to help whilst the charities are actually helping real humans & not just paying their overheads.
The women who escaped rarely had enough education to get a decent paying job. Construction pays more than waitressing. They also had to learn a whole new way of discerning trustworthy people vs predators. Their previous lives had been filled with rules of obedience, whether or not they actually felt safe with the men in charge.
Thank you so much for sharing.
As always, very interesting.
Here for the amazing content and to help the algorithm!
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Enjoyed this couples story. God Bless all of you.❤️🌲❤️
This was really interesting! I have heard about the Lost Boys from the FLDS but I've never heard what the other large polygamist groups like the Order or the AUB do with the extra males. I would love to see a video on that!
Is Ben a licensed contractor?
Another great interview!
In a few cults that practice polygamy, there are more than a few cases of sons scrapping with each other over their father's "throne".
The case of the now rather obscure "Your Black Muslim Bakery" comes to mind. It was run by a man, Yusef Bey who was curious mix of a cult leader and mafia don, and like Jeffs, was also notorious for his "love" of teenage girls.
When Bey passed away, his swarm of sons fought each other for their father's throne, and whole YBMB criminal empire collapsed into squabbling factions. Their "famous" bakery, which served as the front for their operations, fell into squalor and was shut down by the health authorities.
The big man phenomenon, one person can have the drive and charisma to build an empire or a cult but it rarely survives them. The Mongols are one of the few exceptions, they not only survived but thrived in the hands of his brothers
I think the Mongols survived because the were valued strong women as well as men. Ghengis Kahn’s favorite child was a daughter and she had considerable authority militarily. By valuing strength and intelligence regardless of gender, you’re going to ensure that children are born to equally strong influences. If the men die, their wives can carry on and raise capable children. Mind you, I’m not saying the Mongolian empire was sunshine and roses, but they definitely expected their wives and daughters to be equally blood thirsty and warlike. A people endures when men can die knowing their wives and children can continue to thrive. Encourage incompetence and incapabilities in women and you encourage weak offspring. Size in dogs any many types of livestock are determined by the sire not the dam. If you want a larger hybrid of two dogs, you want the mother to be the larger, stronger breed. Not that humans are livestock, but mammals are mammals.
@@Catmom-gl5nt that's true and also like the Romans they embraced diversity. Sure we could come, burn, rape, pillage. Or join the empire, get all the benefits. Ghengis was interesting, woman held high status because he worshipped the ground his mother walked on, having kept him and his siblings alive in exile. He also taught complete religious tolerance, many of his sons married Christian women and he had advisors from a lot of different religions and backgrounds
Woah! I’d love to find someone who survived that to come on and share
Yeah their pastries sickened me several times. OP doesn't even mention the broad daylight assassination in Downtown Oakland that was carried out under the orders of Bey.
My friend married a son of Rulon Jeffs and is Warren’s brother. She’s getting divorced from him and her children are growing up and want to change their name because they are so disgusted with it.
Lol. Friend-if you were working at 10 you can't get in trouble for that. The adults are responsible for that. No worries ;)
PS. So sorry you lost your mom like that. And then had to watch your dad suffer, too. Even thought you understand where your dad is coming from.
What that awful cult did to those kids is unconscionable
These two are amazing❤ it's wonderful that they're able to do this. Takes a lot of Courage they are both just beautiful people that need to come back on and talk some more the time just the Zips away
His accent and story sounds so similar to Sam's. It's kinda cool actually. They both have such cool stories of strength and courage.
I was reminded of Sam and Melissa, too!
That’s right! They grew up in the same place. I actually remember asking Sam (when we did an interview with him and Melissa) if he knew Ben, but he couldn’t recall without seeing a photo
Sam and Ben both describe happy childhoods and loving families. Yet the second they hit 18, they were outta there. The post Warren Jeff's group had no such nurturing foundation. Still, the result is the same. Why? How did they leave everything they had ever known? There is a mystery in there that I can't verbalize, much less solve.
@@jacquelinek5036 From what I understand, part of it is realizing they would not have the opportunity to build big loving families like they had grown up in due to population imbalances. Of course, this is only one factor, but it isn't a tiny one.
What I understand from this interview and the many interviews with Sam; is that life was pretty good until Warren came into power; he made so many aweful changes 😭
wow. He was working at 10 years old in construction. whew. So glad Ben is free.
Well, I guess it was a good thing to get him out of that crazy school. What seems like a curse to one person is a blessing to another.
Your cousin and her husband are so lovely.
I am not/never was Mormon. I am Christian, so understand the principles.
I really enjoyed this piece.
Mormons are Christians
Me too
19:28 PAY TO PLAY ‼️‼️
Thank you for finally saying it, out loud for what it really is! As a “dry Mormon” I know Missionaries have a marketing ploy by saying families are forever, NOT CAN BE FOREVER… just being a believer does not guarantee you a spot in the Celestial Kingdom, let alone make you considered an exalted being there.. there’s different positions in Heaven based on loyalty and money, but they don’t say it for what it actually is!
there are so many good people, no matter what their belief...sometimes religion gets in the way