Hey Friends! Thanks for watching!! If this resonated with you, you'll want to sign up for the FREE WEBCLASS I'm offering on how to heal and recover from codependency and narcissistic abuse so you NEVER fall prey to emotional manipulation and psychological abuse ever again! HERE'S THE LINK: www.tamiem.info/freeclass
About exposing the narcisist: after receiving gaslighting emails from narcisistic relative, I started cc’ing other relatives in my response. Surprise surprise the narcissist started to back pedal then went radio silent!
Playing dumb is a fun one, especially in mixed company. A simple 'huh, I don't get it' puts them in a position where they have to explain the remark. Even worse for them is when someone else explains it first, typically pointing out that the narc was being rude. A valuable thing I've learned in recovery is to let people underestimate me. It's been part of my retirement from the lifelong role of the overfunctioning, people pleasing 'fixer'. I highly recommend it.
@JanetSnakehole28 great comment, advice on your lived experience. even better when you're able to get someone to call out the narc's bullshit. narcs hate being called out and even worse, when multiple people can see them for who they truly are. 💯
It’s especially galling when you know they would never say said insult to someone they deemed “unmesswithable.” Abusers always target the low-hanging fruit. It says more about their state of mind. Thank you for your clarity on the subject.
What I like is you obviously come from experiencing these people and have emotional intelligence to deal with it . I was weak enabling this person. But I’m strong 💪 I sailed the pacific and live on magnetic island . Paradise. Your right about the hoovering crap . Got a email of nonsense
You and your husband are a good match because he appreciates who you are because of who he is. Your story is our story because we all get to benefit from your wisdom.
Your videos give more very helpful videos than most other other people have. Some talk about the topic but not any actions to deal with these control freaks
Thank You so much Tamie. You are so inspirational and reaffirming. So difficult to be in the moment when they take their cheap shots. This will stick in my head.
I used, "Who are you to think you can call me names?" when my narc SIL called me a name, repeatedly. Her daughter stood up for me after I said that and told her mother to leave since she wasn't going to apologize (I didn't really want one) and she's not going to insult guests in her home. I love my niece-in-law and avoid my SIL as much as possible.
I broke off a two year relationship with someone I grew to realize was a narcissist. I had grown up in an abusive family and have been vulnerable to allowing people like him into my private life. Realizing own lack of strong boundaries, with the help of therapy, and online videos such as yours, I've grown to understand these people are abusers and we have the choice to allow them to abuse us, or remove them from our lives. I remember one incident where this man was holding my coffee mug while I drove to work, because I was going to let him use my car for the day. He had been staying at home for free, eating my food for free, me washing his clothing for free, and now was going to use my car ( he lived far away and was visiting). He spilled coffee on himself out of my mug while I was driving under 30 mph on a straight road. He went into an abusive rage swearing and yelling at me. I kept my eyes on the road, held out my hand, and asked for my mug. With one hand I calmly and silently finished the drive to work. Once there I turned to him and said, " don't you ever speak to me like that again because the next time you will find yourself out of the car and can walk your way home. I just drove one handed holding my mug without spilling it and the only reason I had you hold it in the first place was because you said you liked the warmth on your hands in the morning. ". He was completely shocked I stood up to him. He behaved better for a short period of time but resumed going back to narcissistic behavior as they always do. I broke up with him. I have come to realize whether iny professional or personal life I have the choice to allow myself to either be treated with respect or abuse. I choose respect.❤
@IsabelaWaniek-i1x You're so welcome! Thanks for watching!! 😊
День назад+5
Great guidance. this might be of some help. Mentoned to my Narc BF my concerns about my wife's welfare if I died. He said something vile and started laughing. I called him out, he smirked laughed. Waited a week. Called him and he was jolly and condescending on answering. Reminded him of his behavior so vile, our friendship was over. He said are you serious? Click. >Thought it would distressing but oddly, forgot about him quickly< and did not realize he was dragging me down.. Peace and Solitude abides. He did similar once decades ago and I gave him a second chance. He blew it. Dump your Narc
It’s hard for me as I sailed away to another country. I made the fatale mistake of staying in touch daily because she is a alcoholic. I nurtured her to try to get her sober but all along I got played by hook ups and nonsense. Then when the next guy turns up told I’m not attractive etc . Put me into friends zone. Then I got blocked after holding her accountable. In the last 2,5 years this woman caused me massive pain . But she always wanted me to call her daily .it’s been a head f . But I got addicted to it all . She uses sex to get her way with men . Now she is with a 35 addict from rehab . Was told he is a real man . But hasn’t a job or car and got dropped off at her place that she rents . She can’t be alone. Now I’m told I found my soul mate and we have a connection.
Hey friend you need to ask yourself what's in it for me? Because there's a reason that you're putting up with that kind of nonsense... There's a payoff somewhere..... Once you can figure out the payoff then the real healing begins because you can figure out if the payoff is actually worth it..... Blessings my friend 💞
"Do you think it might rain today?" (lol). "I'm not your dog" (even if they don't have one lol). "Well, that's YOUR opinion...there's only 8 billion other people on the planet and everyone has one" lol. I suppose my imagination could run wild with this...but in the end I'd just ignore them. Nothing irks a self-important narc more than letting them know they are insignificant and unimportant.
@helenwashington6212 Never do anything that will put you or others who are vulnerable in danger. That said, assuming you are safe, when you cut off their source of emotional/energetic supply, they will intensify their tactics. Having a melt down is a tactic designed to manipulate, control and dominate you. If you stand your ground long enough for them to see that their tactic will not be successful, they will not succeed in manipulating, controlling or dominating you, they will eventually have to go elswhere to find another source of narcissistic supply. It may take a bit, but you will ultimately be left in peace because there will b no emotional/energetic supplly to be siphoned from you. I hope that helps. 💕
Great suggestions! Thanks. Just curious what your suggestion would be if when you ask them to repeat what they said, and they change it (as that's happened before and I had said, "that's not what I heard the first time"). Much appreciated! Bless you ! 💞🔆🙏🏼😇🌈🕊💫 P.s. Good for you to ask that insulting dinner guest to leave! Did he actually know that you were from Quebec when he said it? Just curious, regardless it was still highly inappropriate, just over the top moreso if he did know ! Glad to hear how you handled it. Some nerve after serving someone dinner ! Wow! Well done 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@gloriadonahue7241 No, this person has never been invited back to my home. If I saw him again, I would be civil and distant. Healthy boundaries and self-respect are the name of the game. If he had a decent bone in his body I would have at the very least received an apology... but he's not capable of that, which of course tells us everything we need to know. When a person is completely and utterly unapologetic about how they show up in a relationship... or the ways in which they drop the ball (deliberate or otherwise).. you know everything you need to know about who and what you're dealing with. 😉
@maryanehatch3564 It depends on the situation. If it's a co-parenting situation for example, there are apps that can be used that help maintain distance and civility as there are other eyes on the situation. If it's work related, document everything and consider finding a new place to work. The bottom line is, no one gets to abuse you, not even in texts or via emails. Find a way and get some emotional support for yourself while you do. 💕
Hey Friends! Thanks for watching!! If this resonated with you, you'll want to sign up for the FREE WEBCLASS I'm offering on how to heal and recover from codependency and narcissistic abuse so you NEVER fall prey to emotional manipulation and psychological abuse ever again! HERE'S THE LINK: www.tamiem.info/freeclass
❤❤❤thank you for being there, when you battle a narcissist, you feel like your alone ❤❤
💯
@larya3989 You're so welcome! I hope my videos help!!
@@tamiemjoyce
Yes you do thank again ❤❤❤
I wasn’t allowed to stand up for myself. These videos are so valuable. Thank you
@kellishomaker8060 You're welcom, Kelli! I'm happy to know they're helpful!! 💕
About exposing the narcisist: after receiving gaslighting emails from narcisistic relative, I started cc’ing other relatives in my response. Surprise surprise the narcissist started to back pedal then went radio silent!
Being fearless
Playing dumb is a fun one, especially in mixed company. A simple 'huh, I don't get it' puts them in a position where they have to explain the remark. Even worse for them is when someone else explains it first, typically pointing out that the narc was being rude.
A valuable thing I've learned in recovery is to let people underestimate me. It's been part of my retirement from the lifelong role of the overfunctioning, people pleasing 'fixer'. I highly recommend it.
@JanetSnakehole28 Great advice! Thanks for sharing!! ❤
@@JanetSnakehole28 well done! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Blessings ♥️ 🌟 🎶 🙏🏼😇🕊💫
@JanetSnakehole28 great comment, advice on your lived experience. even better when you're able to get someone to call out the narc's bullshit. narcs hate being called out and even worse, when multiple people can see them for who they truly are. 💯
It’s especially galling when you know they would never say said insult to someone they deemed “unmesswithable.” Abusers always target the low-hanging fruit. It says more about their state of mind. Thank you for your clarity on the subject.
This is by far the best channel on this subject.
@AndreFlavell I'm so glad you think so! Thanks for the positive feedback!!
What I like is you obviously come from experiencing these people and have emotional intelligence to deal with it . I was weak enabling this person. But I’m strong 💪 I sailed the pacific and live on magnetic island . Paradise. Your right about the hoovering crap . Got a email of nonsense
May God bless you abundantly! ♥️🙏
Godbless to this channel
@drumerundercover6299 Thank you! 😊
Thank you Tamie ! Your wisdom, strength & grace are very valuable & inspiring indeed !
@Elisa-f1z Thank you! I appreciate the positive feedback!! ❤
That is such a good story Tamie I wouldn't mess with you! "Use the front door or the back door, pick one, now." lololol MIC DROP
@Jennnnnnnnnnah 😉
Why did this video make me giggle so much? 🤣 Happy holidays dear Tamie and friends 🎄
@milktwosugars6848 Happy Holidays, Love!! 😊
How I love to watch your weekly video's Tamie! I learn so much from you, now just put it into practice when necessary.
@deborahbloem1325 I'm so glad! Thanks for tuning in!! ❤
This is awesome! Thank you very much! ❤
@greetverboven8171 You're so welcome! Thanks for tuning in!! 😊
You and your husband are a good match because he appreciates who you are because of who he is. Your story is our story because we all get to benefit from your wisdom.
Your videos give more very helpful videos than most other other people have. Some talk about the topic but not any actions to deal with these control freaks
@dimondDave100 I'm so glad my videos are helpful! Thanks for tuning in!! 😉
Thank You so much Tamie. You are so inspirational and reaffirming. So difficult to be in the moment when they take their cheap shots. This will stick in my head.
@MagicalCreations-fw7pj You're so welcome! Thanks for watching!! 💕
I used, "Who are you to think you can call me names?" when my narc SIL called me a name, repeatedly. Her daughter stood up for me after I said that and told her mother to leave since she wasn't going to apologize (I didn't really want one) and she's not going to insult guests in her home. I love my niece-in-law and avoid my SIL as much as possible.
Merry Christmas 🎄 Tamie ❤️
Keeping strong and happy 🙏
@Sam-pl3yd Thanks, Sam! Merry Christmas to you!! ❤
I broke off a two year relationship with someone I grew to realize was a narcissist. I had grown up in an abusive family and have been vulnerable to allowing people like him into my private life. Realizing own lack of strong boundaries, with the help of therapy, and online videos such as yours, I've grown to understand these people are abusers and we have the choice to allow them to abuse us, or remove them from our lives.
I remember one incident where this man was holding my coffee mug while I drove to work, because I was going to let him use my car for the day. He had been staying at home for free, eating my food for free, me washing his clothing for free, and now was going to use my car ( he lived far away and was visiting). He spilled coffee on himself out of my mug while I was driving under 30 mph on a straight road. He went into an abusive rage swearing and yelling at me. I kept my eyes on the road, held out my hand, and asked for my mug. With one hand I calmly and silently finished the drive to work. Once there I turned to him and said, " don't you ever speak to me like that again because the next time you will find yourself out of the car and can walk your way home. I just drove one handed holding my mug without spilling it and the only reason I had you hold it in the first place was because you said you liked the warmth on your hands in the morning. ".
He was completely shocked I stood up to him. He behaved better for a short period of time but resumed going back to narcissistic behavior as they always do. I broke up with him. I have come to realize whether iny professional or personal life I have the choice to allow myself to either be treated with respect or abuse. I choose respect.❤
@celestialgardesn4380 I love it! Well done, YOU!! ❤
Thank you for brilliant observations and excellent advice Tamie 😊 God bless you ❤
@IsabelaWaniek-i1x You're so welcome! Thanks for watching!! 😊
Great guidance.
this might be of some help.
Mentoned to my Narc BF my concerns about my wife's welfare if I died. He said something vile and started laughing.
I called him out, he smirked laughed.
Waited a week. Called him and he was jolly and condescending on answering. Reminded him of his behavior so vile, our friendship was over. He said are you serious?
Click.
>Thought it would distressing but oddly, forgot about him quickly< and did not realize he was dragging me down..
Peace and Solitude abides.
He did similar once decades ago and I gave him a second chance. He blew it.
Dump your Narc
There is great peace and freedom to be found in letting them go! 😉
Yes , it's only after their gone you realise how much they dragged you down !
The loud sigh is great advice.
@badgerapocalyps2546 It sends a very clear message.
Thank you so much for this opportunity to help us with the truth
@ardietrosclair4228 You're so welcome! Thanks for watching!!
Excellent advice - it took me years to see who my mom and sister are realistically
I appreciate and look forward to all your talks Thank you, Tamie!
@Priceless16 Thank you! I appreciate the positive feedback!! 😊
You can put your favorite serial killer look on and respond with ( bite each word off now) “What in the actual $&@k, is wrong with you?”. Lol
Wow. Great advice!
@clairesweeney4334 Thanks! Glad it resonated!! 💕
Thanks 💯 ❤❤
@TMFJ747 You're welcome! Thanks for watching!! 😊
It’s hard for me as I sailed away to another country. I made the fatale mistake of staying in touch daily because she is a alcoholic. I nurtured her to try to get her sober but all along I got played by hook ups and nonsense. Then when the next guy turns up told I’m not attractive etc . Put me into friends zone. Then I got blocked after holding her accountable. In the last 2,5 years this woman caused me massive pain . But she always wanted me to call her daily .it’s been a head f . But I got addicted to it all . She uses sex to get her way with men . Now she is with a 35 addict from rehab . Was told he is a real man . But hasn’t a job or car and got dropped off at her place that she rents . She can’t be alone. Now I’m told I found my soul mate and we have a connection.
@AndreFlavell You need to do your own healing and recovery work. You can book a consultation call with me here: www.TamieM.com/strategycall
Hey friend you need to ask yourself what's in it for me? Because there's a reason that you're putting up with that kind of nonsense... There's a payoff somewhere..... Once you can figure out the payoff then the real healing begins because you can figure out if the payoff is actually worth it..... Blessings my friend 💞
Definitely value
@tammykaters1055 I'm so glad! 💕
"Do you think it might rain today?" (lol). "I'm not your dog" (even if they don't have one lol). "Well, that's YOUR opinion...there's only 8 billion other people on the planet and everyone has one" lol. I suppose my imagination could run wild with this...but in the end I'd just ignore them. Nothing irks a self-important narc more than letting them know they are insignificant and unimportant.
Tamie I remember you saying that narcissist are very shame based . I stonewall and the melt down is mind blowing . Is that a good idea ?
@helenwashington6212 Never do anything that will put you or others who are vulnerable in danger. That said, assuming you are safe, when you cut off their source of emotional/energetic supply, they will intensify their tactics. Having a melt down is a tactic designed to manipulate, control and dominate you. If you stand your ground long enough for them to see that their tactic will not be successful, they will not succeed in manipulating, controlling or dominating you, they will eventually have to go elswhere to find another source of narcissistic supply. It may take a bit, but you will ultimately be left in peace because there will b no emotional/energetic supplly to be siphoned from you. I hope that helps. 💕
@tamiemjoyce Yes Tamie I did because they was trying to be nice after the assault .
What if they are a doctor and they are essentially your boss? Lol
@missroxanne7123 It might be wise to find a new place to work.
Great suggestions! Thanks. Just curious what your suggestion would be if when you ask them to repeat what they said, and they change it (as that's happened before and I had said, "that's not what I heard the first time"). Much appreciated! Bless you ! 💞🔆🙏🏼😇🌈🕊💫
P.s. Good for you to ask that insulting dinner guest to leave! Did he actually know that you were from Quebec when he said it? Just curious, regardless it was still highly inappropriate, just over the top moreso if he did know ! Glad to hear how you handled it. Some nerve after serving someone dinner ! Wow! Well done 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I would rather go gray rock and release!
@nancyparker Grey rock and release is both healthy and powerful!! 💕
Tami, do you allow this person to ever come back to your house? How do you handle any encounters with this person in the future?
@gloriadonahue7241 No, this person has never been invited back to my home. If I saw him again, I would be civil and distant. Healthy boundaries and self-respect are the name of the game. If he had a decent bone in his body I would have at the very least received an apology... but he's not capable of that, which of course tells us everything we need to know. When a person is completely and utterly unapologetic about how they show up in a relationship... or the ways in which they drop the ball (deliberate or otherwise).. you know everything you need to know about who and what you're dealing with. 😉
Hi Tamie. Long time follower. I love your content and you are so beautiful ♥️
Thanks so much! I appreciate the love! 💕
What about their abusive texts and emails? How do you manage those? Just block them? I do need communication with the person unfortunately.
@maryanehatch3564 It depends on the situation. If it's a co-parenting situation for example, there are apps that can be used that help maintain distance and civility as there are other eyes on the situation. If it's work related, document everything and consider finding a new place to work. The bottom line is, no one gets to abuse you, not even in texts or via emails. Find a way and get some emotional support for yourself while you do. 💕
@ THANK YOU!
hello :)
@mikefigures5075 Good moring, Mike!! 😊
Christine Albright
BRILLIANT VIDIO 💖!...
SPOT ON💖!...
THANK YOU 💖!..
"+"!..."💖"!...
@ericalbrigh7210 I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks for watching!! 😉
is there another world for narcissist? Narcissist sounds to good for what they are, some of them even proud that† they are narcissists.
Yes demon
@LFN7 Deeply unconscious. 😉