OnlyFans Model interview-Monica
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- Опубликовано: 24 фев 2023
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Monica, an OnlyFans model in Phoenix, Arizona.
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Something that really struck me is when Monica said she didn't want to have kids because "what if her mom was normal before she had her." This shows how horrible parental abuse can be on a small child's psychological well-being.
That statement got me too. She blames herself for her mother's disorder. This shows how evil narcissistic personality disorder is. They take normal people and attempt to turn them into their clone. I understand the pain of all this. My mom is a Narc and so was my ex-wife whom I had 5 children with. She abused them behind my back and ruined my family. I can't even visit my grandkids. The only reason I'm normal is because God saved me in a jail cell when I was 25 and hugged me with His Spirit. That was the first time I experienced unconditional love. Jesus healed my heart that day, and that love still burns strong within me 30 years later. The Bible is the truth, and Jesus is the door. Cheers
Narcissistic parents are basically psychopaths. They are worst than their serial killing counterparts in the sense that they don't end your suffering by taking your life but keep you around just sound enough so that they can keep sucking the life force out of you until you become a husk of your former self. Narcissistic parents' victims are also their own children, their own flesh and blood. These parents are unforgivable.
I feel bad for her, but she sounds fos.
I literally feel the same way
Dear Monica..not all of us have the luxury of being rich..therefore we are in a ratrace.sometimesbparents are in a predicament to get things done and provide the roof over our children's headland provide food..as parents we gotta come up by any means..so the pressure gets passed on without it even being known..it's sad but that's what happens when one of the parents don't work together as a team
To Monica and to anyone relating to this: The adults who were supposed to care for you failed you. It is not your fault.
You are not them. You will never be them. You know it was wrong. That's the difference. Be kind to yourself, not all is lost. You are not ruined, you are not broken. People out there are rooting for you and see the best in you. People like me. Please keep going.
From one Cruz to another thank you
Absolutely. 100%
Amen to that! Giving birth to us didn't make them a mom. Some don't deserve that title.
where can we find her work @
Everything is habits. We sometimes become our parents. #socialArv
My heart breaks for her. I hope she finds the love and happiness that she deserves. It's not your fault girl, your mother was a monster and no one ever deserves to go through that. Sending you so much love
As a father I'm sickened to hear of parents treating their children like this. I just want to give her a hug and let her know that there are people who are proud of her.
I left my wife when my daughter was 9 because I found out she’d been abusive to my daughter. I had my daughter 100%. Later, in an effort that they could have some kind of relationship, I paid thousands of dollars for mother/daughter counseling. It helped a little, but saving my child’s self esteem and making her strong and to feel safe was the best thing I think I did for her.
My heart breaks for this poor woman. She barely had a chance, but she does need to get some help and get on a better path.
Good job on getting your daughter out of that situation, well done bro. I hope you two are doing well now. Don't break yourself/your bank to 'better' your ex-wife. I understand you want your daughter to have a relationship with her mom, but you shouldn't have to pay the the literal bill for your ex-wife to simply be a good human to your guys daughter.
You’re a good father ❤ I’m glad you got her out of that situation so she could have a happy life where she feels loved by her dad, that’s awesome
Rock on Man!!
My heart breaks to think she made her mothers mental illness so personal. Her mom was the one who was sick not her! Her goodness comes shining through and she is so worthy of unconditional love.
A child cannot tell themselves, "Its ok that I am screamed at, put down over and over, and beaten....Mom is mentally ill." It is personal to a child because your Mom is the person who you are supposed to go to for help. Everyone around you tells you to listen to her, honor her, be grateful for her, seek her protection. It IS Personal to a child. There is nobody else who "sees" you or can really protect you. You cannot expect a child to have the insight of an adult. In addition, the experience of Abuse changes the connections in your brain so that you can become "stuck" in a childlike thought pattern, Abuse can prevent and stunt your development and ability to have insight. She doesn't need your blame or anyone else's blame for her reaction to years of parental abuse when she was young, vulnerable, and unprotected.
It is personal, you have genetic relate ability. You would always wonder if something that you are doing or thinking was correct
What a burden to carry
I wouldn't have a child either.
its on your self to be a good to your self and be a good person , my mother was bat shit crazy ,,, both parents in jail i was 4 years ,,,
She’s trauma bonded to her mother. Such a beautiful woman. Stunning. I feel so sad because of what’s happened to her and how terrible people have treated her. She seems very real and genuine. I don’t feel like she lied about anything at all.
Nice rack too but she lied about gettin raped , who gets raped by two guys and moves in with them. She needs to be honest and just say she let two dudes run a train on her
She's smokin' hot. I'd marry her in a minute but she'd have to return to the Catholic church. So mebbe it ain't gonna happen.
That trauma bond is a mofo
Stunning? 🤦🏻♂️
Simp.
I knew I recognized her somewhere, she’s on an episode on “Love don’t judge” telling her story about her marriage & how she lets her husband make all of the decisions of her life down to the clothes she wears. She even lets him sleep with other women. Now I see why she allows it.. she had a messed up life growing up & never knew genuine love & self worth. I hope where ever she is now she finds true happiness one day!
Yeah I remember her from that as well. I hope she’s doing well
Oh right! But the husband at least at the episode also seemed like someone who may not be healthy for her. Something really irked me about him, like those types who calls themselves "Alpha" and "real men" and you know they are toxic.
I knew I recognised her from somewhere aswell! Then I re-read the video title and it all became clear...
Being of Polish descent as well, she summed up my childhood... My father died from drunk driving when I was 3yrs old and all I was to my mom was a constant reminder of him... and rest happened like Monica describes... Took me years to realize how generational post traumatic stress affects people. My Heart goes out to Monica and thank you for the video.
You know what's strange is my mom is Latvian and she was very similar to her mother. My mother was in the army along with my father but he was a much older Vietnam veteran and so he had his own problems and would be absent alot (especially the older I got) I believe my mom hid a substance abuse problem but my mom would call me a worthless bitch all the time. But I was sort of shocked at the similar mothers.
That's the cool thing of this channel. It can be be too depressing to watch often but it can connect people who can relate. I'm American and my mom was the same way. She threw glass at walls missing us, broke furniture on us, called us every dirty name from 5 years old on. I found out later she is a covert narcissist, hass ADD, and possibly other undiagnosed illnesses. Her father also molested her sister to the point she attempted suicide 3x and was institutionalized. When I started to remind my mom of my dad the abuse and neglect got worse. The thing is I know all these things as an adult but I still find it hard not to abuse myself to continue the tradition. I'll do anything to numb the pain but I made a decision long ago that I will never do something as despicable as abuse others especially the defenseless.
Hope you're doing well brother.
Oh my…
@#PrisonForJohnnyDepp actually?
Her dynamic with her mother is unfortunately so relatable. No matter how old you get you'll always seek your parents approval. This is such a raw and honest interview. I hope she can find some real help. I truly feel for her.
The only way out for her is NO CONTACT and only SHE can initiate and adhere to that because EVERYBODY ELSE is just an enabler, contributor, flying monkey, etc. The Police when called will only show up and laugh and get a thrill at how awful others lives are in comparison to theirs. So SHE has the ONE option to watch the many videos online on Narciccictoc abuse, which ALL basically say the same thing (which is to GET OUT, Go No Contact, and START the healing process from that foundation), and DO what needs to be done making that your full time job with a little bit of Only Fans mixed in just enough to keep the basic necessity bills paid.
@jazzmgmt yes, she could really use those RUclips channels on narcissistic abuse and child trauma. Some amazing help there. Gabor Mate is one.
Her story is heart-wrenching. My heart goes out to Monica. She went through such unimaginable horror and nobody, no child nor person, deserves to be in abusive relationships like that. I feel that I've grown more sympathetic since we only see the surface of what any person is going through. I hope she surrenders to unconditional love when she finds it.
I’m so sorry you, or anyone for that matter went through this. You deserved, and always will deserve SO much better than what you have experienced. You’re unbelievably strong. Thank you for sharing your strength.
I hope Monica reads and sees all the love and compassion we (viewers and commentators) have for her. Her story, especially childhood, are heartbreaking and disturbing. Monica, you are a beautiful soul on the inside and out. To survive the physical, mental, and emotional abuse you endured is remarkable. You are a survivor and inspiration. Love, respect, and best wishes Monica.
If any men have compassion they wont jack off to her pain. Porn addicted men make me sick.
I met Monica one time at the Grove in Beverly Hills last year. She was one of the sweetest people I have ever met, never expected to see her on this channel. The story broke my heart. Wishing her the best!
She seems like such a sweet, genuine person
so did you smash or what?
@@JT-xp3in women like that only smash guys that are top 5% in looks and/or rich, period.
@@damienholland8103 how long have you been an incel?
@@JT-xp3inbuddy gave up his whole check to see ol girl 🤣
I could cry. I want Monica to know I would give her a huge hug after watching this. She’s beautiful, and you can tell she’s incredibly strong as hell for putting up with everything she’s been through
Have you ever had a puppy, Monica? The love of a dog is adoring and constant. They are emotionally intuitive and supportive. Dogs can be trusted and relied upon in ways humans can't be and have repaired many a broken heart. Little 4 legged angels.
“I never felt unconditional love” I felt that. Weird how people can react differently from similar up bringing. My advice to her, is to get a a puppy. I grew to learn what unconditional love was from my dog that passed away two years ago. When she passed, it made me realize what true love was. That little being loved me with her whole heart, no matter what. When she passed, how my family reacted, told me everything I needed to know.
Same here! My two pitties never doubt my love for them and i never doubt their love for me. I've traveled and raced motorcycles and done lots of crazy things in my life but loving and having them has been one of the best experiences in my life. You learn so much from dogs. Their ability to love, not judge based on appearances but good/ bad energy, ability to be happy and grateful with the free things in life. In many many ways dogs are much better creatures than humans.
People who are obsessed with dogs are weird.
@@ryanistooconceitedNot really considering they were bred to be our companions and work buddies
@@ryanistooconceited who hurt you that you feel the right to be so self-righteous?
@@ryanistooconceited people who pass judgment on others when quite literally NO ONE asked. THATS weird.
I hope you do a follow-up interview with Monica down the road Mark. Her upbringing was just tragic and the way her mom treated her was plain evil. I just hope she continues to find help that can guide her through all the trauma she faced.
Trust me the abuse from a mother (as a daughter) is the most excruciating unexplainable pain...To Monica, your strength is your heart, your compassion and empathy and still standing after this horrific of experience, that a movie can be made from. You are incredible. Everything your mom said about you is 100% wrong. I come from similar experience and my mom literally said unconditional love doesn't exist to me to my face and I deserve for her to treat me badly. (and I still go to her sometimes when I feel bad-as well) I get it...sometimes these conditions alchemise us to be the star we are to share the important messages to the world.
All the beatings sound normal as hell, she sneaking hanging out with guys , disobeying your mother, I know plenty of ppl who would got disciplined for those things.
“Your strength is your heart” yesss your heart is so beautiful. Despite all you’ve been through… how amazing
@@playingwithkash2134you don't know what you're talking about. Discipline and abuse are not the same thing. The former is an act of love in the interest of an individual's well-being. The latter is merely the externalisation of whatever twisted and broken internal systems the abuser has going on within them. This woman's mother was an abuser through and through, and a classic NPD cliché. It's tragic how she must have become that way, but it's no less unforgivable for all that.
I hope this woman finds the self-worth she so deserves.
@@gregbatchelor9205 nah my boy , you don’t know what you’re talking about, you weren’t there to see any of it, I ain comment to debate with nobody
Who has unconditional love? Lets be honest. Love is trust of another. All love is slightly conditional or you would sit with an abuser.
My heart breaks for her. No parent should ever treat their kid the way her mom treated her. Monica you are gorgeous. You are perfect. Don’t ever think that you are not good enough.
Monica is the first person that Mark has interviewed that I can truly relate to with an eerily similar background. She is so insightful, intelligent and beautiful inside and out. The therapy I am currently undergoing is making me realize I am worthy of unconditional love and I so hope that Monica can feel/experience this someday too!
What therapy please?
@@mcb00just find a therapist & talk 🤷♀️
@@SlumpTia not that simple. I've tried many therapists and therapy modalities.
@@thebobbysisters your wife is so lucky to have you! I tried emdr and it didn't help, but I'm encouraged by her story ❤️
@@thebobbysisters thank you so much! I appreciate your kindness more than you know.
12 minutes in and there’s nothing more I want to do than to give Monica a hug.
I wanna give her something else!!!!! Something attached to my body...
I hear that.
Very sad story.
Same, my heart breaks for her 😟 she's been through so much and is still waiting to catch a break. My hope for her is that one day these experiences will be something she can look back on and say "look at everything I overcame".
Ikr I kept feeling that throughout the interview💯
You nailed it! Agree...💞
Haunting. She is clearly so intelligent. Wish she could work through her trauma… she has so much potential. She is so worthy of love and respect.
Monika, jesteś cudowną osobą ❤ jesteś prawdziwa, szczera i pełna wrażliwości. Wierzę, że uda Ci się zyskać spokój, poczucie bezpieczeństwa i radość życia. Zasługujesz na to! Jesteś wspaniała! ❤
Нали. 😁
Her life story is absolutely devastating. I cannot believe parents like that exist. So terribly sad. its amazing she made it through this. Says a lot about how strong she is.
You're believing one side of the story
@@jizim8947 Dikhead Alert!
@@jizim8947 exactly! I’m amazed how naïve and foolish humans are ,they seem quick to believe half truths and lies and stories that are incomplete because without the whole story that’s exactly what they are incomplete, especially when you don’t even know the person and haven’t even seen them in real life , but they believe their story hook line and sinker people react with emotions and not rational logical common sense , because humans do a lot of lying and playing the victim nowadays
How naive are you...
She is so so strong not as strong as her bra but super duper female power and bravery….
My wife and her siblings were physically and sexually abused by a violent father and a silent mother. She worked through it and broke the chain of passing the abuse on to our kids. We have three well-adjusted adult kids and a sunny granddaughter. The key is knowing that the victim is never at fault and everyone has the capacity to be loved unconditionally. It’s a tough journey but you see the problem and with the love of a great partner and supportive friends you can overcome anything those bad people did to you. To quote the poem “This Be The Verse “ by Philip Larkin: “They f*ck you up, your mum and dad. /. They may not mean to, but they do. /They fill you with the faults they had /. And add some extra, just for you.” But if it all becomes overwhelming, find some productive charitable work. Helping those less fortunate than yourself is very rewarding and good for the soul.
You cannot break the chain. #socialArv
where can we find her work
@@nielshansen8548 I beg to differ. Abused don’t have to be abusers.
Thank you for having the courage to do this interview. You are not alone in this type of situation. I want you to know that you are precious and have such a good heart, there is no doubt that you are a good person. Try to get away from toxic people who take advantage of the vulnerable ones. Now you can protect yourself, come out from this and even be the best mother one can be. Much love, Emmanuel
Pete Walker's book, Complex PTSD - from Surviving to Thriving is the most helpful resource I have found for this type of trauma. Learning about Narcissistic people is also essential. It's not you, it's others, Monica. You are a beautiful human.
Monica's story is heartbreaking. I hope that she finds inner peace, because she certainly didn't do anything wrong. She deserves to be loved unconditionally.
I raised a step-daughter. Her mother, and my current wife, is from Thailand. I absolutely stepped in when anything physical happened between them. Hitting kids is unacceptable in my book. That's all I'll say.
I could really feel Monica's pain watching this. I strongly relate to her story because my relationship with my mother (narcissist, BPD) was so similar, right down to the constant push/pull of wanting her acceptance and feeling panic that she might find and abuse me again. That kind of trauma is unfortunately very tough to get through. I do hope that Monica can get some help and learn to love and accept herself. Helping others is one way we can learn to reframe our worst life experiences and learn to appreciate ourselves. I would also seriously suggest nutritional therapy (the carnivore diet has helped me immensely) as well as meditation to help reprogram and heal the brain.
No one cares what she looks like or how much she weighs
My God she has real problems
This interview brought tears to my eyes. I am sorry you were abused by your mom. You deserve love and peace.
She is so well spoken and clearly is trying to work through her trauma. My heart breaks for her and the pain she carries. Best wishes to her. Another brilliant interview.
As a father of two little girls I’m just appalled, saddened and ashamed that someone could do this to their own child..
apart from being truly beautiful on the outside Monica is an even more beautiful warrior on the inside ..
LOOK AFTER YOUR CHILDREN PEOPLE ITS NOT TO LATE 🙏
GStone, my feelings exactly! My children are grown, 34 & 36 years old. When my son came home for Christmas break as a freshman at U-Hartford, he said to my wife and I, "I never realized how dysfunctional our home is" and I was shocked! I said what are you talking about? He replied, "Dad, our home was so normal, loving & supportive, we are not the norm, we are abnormal. He went on to say "so many kids at school come from such fucked up homes: alcoholism, drug abuse physical & mental abuse, violence, etc.". Now, my wife and I have to beautiful grandchildren ages 1 & 3 years old, we get to have a re-do. Hug your little girls and savor every minute, before you know it, they'll be grown up and you'll wonder where did the time go. Also, with 2 girls, by the time they are 11 or 12, you will learn to "duck & keep your mouth shut" because you will have no clue what they are talking about. Girls have social issues that boys do not have or understand, very complicated. Let Mom handle it, she'll understand, you won't. And, then they become normal again after they graduate college. Enjoy them!
Your a sweet girl,,,dont cry,,,
Too many people just assume and blame the father for abuse but there are many mothers that abuse their kids. It is often a cycle that goes back several generations. Listen to your children if they tell you (as a father) that mom is abusing them psychologically, physically or other ways.
I can relate. Both my parents were abusive. I tried suicide several times. My father was inappropriate with me. After years of counseling i realized it wasnt me. I finally told my parents how awful they were as parents. Càlled my mom a bitch and my dad an asshole plus all the stuff I hated about them and how it affected me. It felt like a ton of bricks fell off my back. I am so much happier now. My boyfriend sees them for what thay are and supports me. Im 59, it took years to recover from the abuse and yes some are a struggle but nothing like they used to be. I pray you find your happiness you deserve it!
You speak beautifully, so gifted and articulate. Yours is the only SWU video I have ever watched more than once and haven’t stopped thinking about you since. You are genuine, sweet, beautiful, authentic, honest, brave and your pain is so palpable. Thank you for allowing us inside your story. It’s a privilege. ❤❤
I'm so sorry Monica, that terrible woman doesn't deserve to be called a mother; she was your captor.
You deserved better!
Wishing you the very best. 💗
we dont know her mom's story.
Such parents are very common, so I am not surprised.
@@Koba_78 i had 1.
How can you believe a one sided story
@@tka1528 exactly. Every person on here is always whoa is me. Who even knows the truth.
watching this about her mom making her abort the baby at 4 and 1/2 months and then forcing her to watch it is one of the most horrible things I can imagine for a mom, a young women, or anyone. Monica has experienced a lot of trauma and pain in her life which seems to be unbearable. Thanks for sharing your story, and I wish you the best of luck in the rest of your life and career. Never Quit, Never Give up, Be you, Do what makes you happy!
As a woman & mother to 3 daughters, I cannot imagine what she went thru & would NEVER, EVER put my daughters thru this. Lord know what I’d do if they were ever abused. Father of my 2 oldest has set an example for them & my son. The baby daddy is the complete opposite & I hope I’m setting an example for all 3 of my daughters by not remaining in that relationship.
Unbelievable. Sadistic. Monica, you are different!!!!!! There is therapy and books and ways of changing your thinking about yourself. You have to love yourself as your own best friend.
Watching her story brought tears in my eyes. I also suffered from narcissistic abuse from my ex who was Swedish, and I also keep sheltering myself with the idea that no matter who comes to my life and tells me he loves me, i will always, in the back of my mind, assume that it can end any time and it may not be real so i should be fine if they go away etc. It's really horrific.
I’m so sorry this happened to her and hope she finds the blessings she needs and deserves ❤️❤️
Monica, you are beyond brave to share your story. You will never know how many people you are helping by doing so. You are so intelligent and strong and worthy of self-love and unconditional love from others.
My heart hurts so much for the struggles you have had! Thank you for sharing your life's experiences...the world is a better place with you in it. As a person who has spent 48 years fighting that voice that says things like "just end it" or "it's never going to get any better", I am so grateful to have discovered IFS in the past year. As I have learned that the voice is a part of me that actually cares so deeply and wants to protect me from any more pain. Knowing this, and learning to have compassion for that voice has helped me heal and opened up so much more. Much love to you Monica!
Hello this just came upon my feed, I am a girl dad of four adult daughters 35, 29, 26 & 23. Thank you for sharing all of these stories with the world because so many parents have failed their children!!! Blessings
The fact that you don’t want children incase you turn out to be like your own abusive mother speaks volumes as to who you are as a person!
You’re already a great mother, thinking that way.
I truely hope that you find the happiness that you 100% deserve.
I agree. I have a family member who feels the same way but is such a wonderful and loving step dad to two beautiful children from a relationship he was in quite some time ago but he was the only dad they knew and he has stuck with them and nurtured them as his own. I'm so proud of him.
You never know the pain someone has, the stories they hide. Everyone has a story.. Great interviews.
They all have a good sob story.
Simply saying hello to someone might be the kindest thing to happen to them, on any given day
@@1Whipperin trashcan
@@1WhipperinHave you walked in their shoes though?
@@choumicha37 No, who can?
I’m not even 15 min in yet and I’m crying and absolutely sick for this woman. No one deserves that treatment and my heart breaks for her. I pray for each and every person in these videos.
I started watching at 11 mins and could only last till 16 mins.I wished i hadnt even watched this gut wrenching story.Makes me so ANGRY and uncomfortable at how someone could violate another human being
Love is medicine for everything, it is impossible to describe in words the helplessness, and despair of children raised without love. Only those who have experienced this pain and only those who can understand. They didn't say in vain that ' The cruelest and most dangerous animals in the world are humans 'Millions of children face such treatments. We are trying to give hope to children and understand their suffering ıt is good...As a result, there is nothing we are doing at all. A project should be initiated on a large complex that should be built for children in this situation, where they can go to school, eat, dormitory to sleep in. We can achieve this by making donatıons, we can support this project with volunteer teachers, builders architects, doctors, psychologists...
I wanna see her gang bang vid. Max Hardcore needs to do a movie 🎥 with her.
But seriously what’s wrong with some parents ? I mean what would push a parent to mistreat their own child ?
Such a sweet, kindhearted person. It's so hard to comprehend how adults could do treat any child like this! She's had more than her share! God bless you, Monica! ❤
Dear Monica,
I am so sorry you endured so much pain both physically and emotionally as a child. Hearing your story broke my heart. As a new mother in my early 30s I can't imagine the kind of hate/resentment a mother could have towards their own child because all I feel for my baby is love and compassion.
We are strangers here in the comments but I want you to know that you are loved, you are beautiful and you are so so strong. If you ever decide to be a mother I have no doubt that with your experience and awareness you have that you will show your child what it is like to be loved because you do have so much love to give, you are special Monica. Sending you so much love and light girl💖
Thank you for the reminder to not judge people by their line of work. It brings me back to Platos quote "Be kind. Every person you meet is fighting a difficult battle."
I’m proud of her. I don’t know her and she doesn’t know me but I’m very proud of her. She’s stronger than she knows and I’m glad she’s still here on this earth. She would be a great mother, yes she has a lot of healing to do but that’s not impossible. I’m also happy she’s married and not in a toxic environment … my heart goes out to her
What an articulate intelligent young woman. My heart goes out to her so much
“It’s better to be miserable because then you just don’t get disappointed.” I think it’s time for me to disprove this concept for myself. Thank you for bringing this awareness to me.
instead of be miserable, for myself, my perspective on expectations changed my value system to limit the times of relating to don't get disappointed
✌️🐝➕️
I’m stuck in misery, it’s hard to push yourself out even though I have answers right in front of me, I’m scared of failure I guess
@@musicandpoetry_8 for myself, i try to relate being stuck in misery as failure. when things are tough, it seems to get more difficult. especially when i consistently find my life is once again back at square one with nothing and having to start to rebuild again by finding a path that i don't know where to look for it, and i keep getting older. all i can do is to keep trying to put one foot in front of the other, knowing that is truly the only thing i have control over. i also try to make a concerted effort to have at least one positive thought each day. otherwise, i won't ever establish anything resembling good habits. i'm so stubborn, and so good at being a master isolationist it seems like i really enjoy making changes as difficult as i possibly can (just this thought i've turned from an anchor into something to laugh at about myself). no matter how i look at things, this is where i've ultimately chosen to be.
✌️🐝➕
What is her Onlyfans name, is like to support 😊
I heard that too many times and have witnessed too many people whos attitude reflects it and/or their actions/decisions demonstrates it. It's fear based. Even if things are going really well for you now, there's going to be a time in the future where things are rough. You're going to be ill, family members are going to be ill, a dream is going to fall apart, you're going to be uncertain about your employment status, like the flood is coming. The apocalypse is coming. It's always the case in life. Being miserable will just make it worse.
She is so intelligent. I didn't hear her say anything about therapy, so I'm assuming that she has come to a lot of these deeper conclusions on her own. Such a heartbreaking story
@Carolina MF Rebel That's a coping mechanism for unresolved trauma.
@Carolina MF Rebel STFU you loser
She definitely needs therapy and the right circle of people to keep her accountable and on the right path to healing.
My heart breaks for this beautiful lady, I had a childhood very similar in that my mother was the same as hers, she was extremely violent, abusive and cruel on a daily basis and my father was the same, my mother would always refer to me as "the abortion I never had". I cut all ties with my parents in my early twenties and never looked back, the best decision I ever made. The trauma of these childhood experiences never leaves you, it affects every single relationship you have and every decision you make, for life. I hope Monica finds happiness and peace and continues to heal from everything she has been through, she is such an intelligent, strong and articulate lady, she deserves to be happy.
I'm so glad you cut those ties!! God bless you my friend. I know we are strangers but you have my unconditional support.
I spent the first minutes crying non stop thinking it was for no reason, or it was just empathy.
Until she said her mom had narcissistic personality disorder and also bipolar disorder, on top of being only child.
I have the same life constellation and unconsciously you were reminding me my own story.
I hug you Monica ❤ it is unfair the things we have to go through as children.
What a well spoken honest individual . How she kept her sanity is miraculous. I believe low self esteem begins at early childhood. Low self esteem is so awful to live with. My heart goes out to her as I understand how she feels.
Words can’t describe how this video has made me feel. I’m so sorry she went through this hell. When she talked about never feeling able to feel unconditional love I felt it, when you self sabotage yourself because you don’t think you deserve certain type of feeling or you just think it’s a lie. If you are seeing this Monica, I love you, you deserve love and I hope you can find your light and feel at peace with yourself . Thank you Mark for this video
One of the hardest interviews to watch, I saw the childhood/teenage part with tears in my eyes. Poor girl! Wish her all the best, kind and nice things in life!
Oh Monica. You are not alone in this. Speaking of how fearful you are of your mom but still wanting to go back to her is my story with my father. Your story has soothed me in knowing many of us are not alone. Don't give up Monica.
So nice of Mark to give her a hug at the end. She really needed that. Sending you a big virtual hug as well Monica. You are strong and everything you’ve been through has made you a very kind and compassionate person. You have no fault at all for being raised in a family filled with abuse. And you made such a good decision in taking distance from your mum, you do not deserve any of that abuse that you got from her so you are in charge of your own life right now and she doesn’t have any control on your decision any more. And you are so so worthy. Your husband loves you. And you can do anything you want in your life, doesn’t have to be in the adult industry if this is not something that you enjoy and makes you happy. Wishing you the best and brightest future and that you find the strength to heal those childhood wounds that you have 0 fault to have experienced and that you can live a happy and fulfilling life while and after doing it ❤❤
Omg this is heartbreaking. That fact this woman is still pushing on is an achievement in itself and she stronger than she'll ever know. Monica you deserve the absolute best this world has to offer. I wish you nothing but the best. ♥️
My heart goes out to you. Narcissists never change, no contact is essential for healing
Monicas story is heartbreaking and so well and honestly spoken that it's helped me to understand some of the motivations of people I see. Often there's something sad behind it. Certainly she shouldn't feel like the world would be better without her. If she can speak this honestly, there are many people she can help who would just like to listen to that, who may have their own problems. It's a very important role in the world, not a worthless one.
Virtual hug to this person!
When you talk about the lack of unconditional love... I hope you know how brave you are, and how far you have come, and how much accomplished! Keep walking towards yourself, you are doing amazing! Wish you the best!
As a survivor of almost 2 decades of emotional abuse, my heart just goes out to her. It’s so very difficult to describe to people who haven’t experienced it. It is absolute hell though…. sending you all the love!
Exactly
do you have an onlyfans account ??
@@schmiggidy Oh , I'm sorry .. didn't know you got offended that easily.... now do us all a favor and finish your oat soy latte , those babies are too expensive to let go to waste.
Współczuję Ci strasznie. Mam nadzieję, że teraz żyjesz lepszym życiem z lepszymi ludźmi ❤
Monica, I give you a virtual hug from the bottom of my heart. I cried a river hearing your story. I had sexual trauma and neglect from my own parents; 28 years ago, I started my healing journey. Recently I heard someone say the words "Unwavering Love" to which my visceral response was "Aahh... that feels better than Unconditional Love." I haven't experienced that Love from or to someone, even to my own children and spouse. Every once in a while, I feel it inside myself... so yes, it is there. I don't have ill-will towards my parents anymore but I do acknowledge the huge deficit it caused me. I wish for you to take steps towards your healing (even if it is a long one) and remove everything that will cause you harm. Validation from others is useful for a while but validation from your Self is the best. Do good to others and that love will boomerang. All the happiness in the world to you.
These interviews are so harsh that make my childhood heaven despite all those verbal and physical abuses I went through.
It’s good to know where you are on the spectrum of abuse, but never discount your own abuse in comparison. Your childhood is still far from heaven.
❤️🙏🏾✨
You can tell she is such a kind person and has such a beautiful heart. To hear what has happened to her seems just so unfair, you really feel for her. Wish she could see how absolutely stunning she is and that she's worthy of whatever life she wants.
“It’s better to be miserable because then you just don’t get disappointed.” How heartbreaking. I hope you can heal and feel truly happy someday, Monica - you deserve happiness. You deserve to love yourself. I’m praying for you.
Monica your story hit me hard. I know the feeling of wanting acceptance from your mom. I pray this gets better & easier for u. U are a beautiful person & I hope u find happiness ❤
How could a heart not break when hearing this story? This poor person needs to find her self worth, self esteem and self love!! It’s you girl! Everyone is the same, we are all equal. We were born and there is no one better or worse and you can begin to love yourself by looking in the mirror ALL THE TIME AND TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE AMAZING!
She’s amazing. Everything was her truth and from the heart. Childhood trauma is forever. It goes to relationships, your own kids. Everything she said about the industry is truth. We’re all surviving. I’m grateful for these interviews. I wish everyone could watch them and learn to relate and learn to understand people. At the end of the day, we’re all the same. It doesn’t matter our jobs, looks, background, we’re all the same. We all feel the same.
My heart aches for the continuous abuse you experienced. 😢Tears as I can relate to you in many ways. I became a teacher as well and absolutely loved having this opportunity.
I’m very sorry that your mother was physically, mentally and physiologically abusive. Sadly, there is a little child who just wants our parent/s to love us. I want to put my arms around you and remind you how special you are. ❤️🥰
One of the hardest parts of having a traumatic childhood is not the actual experience but dealing with the memories of it afterward for decades. I think the hardest part of my life started when I realized that the things that happened to me weren’t normal and not okay and that I should feel angry about it. Then afterwards learning to
Have compassion for myself because it was something that was never given to me. I hope that Monica can find a way to heal and start living her true purpose which is ultimately as she said already to help others through the trauma she experienced. We must first heal ourselves before we can heal others ❤❤❤
This is one of the saddest stories I've ever heard. How, how could someone be so cruel to a child. Her dad could have stepped in and protected her but had no spine. He may have finally realized that with great regret and couldn't live with himself, so he decided to do what he did.
Her step dad was probably codependent.
I visited Poland a while before the Iron Curtain came down. The Soviet was unreal in the bad way
@@elinmansson5535 Typiskt Svenskt
Thank you Monica for being brave in sharing your story. I can see the beauty in you through your honesty.
I know trauma is something that is very hard to shake or deal with in your daily life.
Just know there is alot of love coming from Mark's viewers, me being one of them.
Lots of love to you from the other side of the world (Australia)
All you can do is do you best for you.
💜 And that you are.
I can relate in soooooo many ways, my mom just disowned me. Your amazing woman, God got You!!! Much Love!!!
The ending was my favorite and most memorable part of this interview. Much Love to you both Monica. 🥰.
Thanks for keeping that Mark. I rarely see a happy ending anymore in stories.
Glad she telling her story alot of young girls have a story like hers. Victims of their parents PTSD. The abuse cycle some parents play out is insane. Their parents abused them so they abuse their children then their children grow up to be abusive and the cycle never ends until one generation is strong enough to break the wheel
And I'm glad that she told her story while those big yummy jugs are on display.
@@flashinthepan3273 Didnt even think about that but what time to be alive man. We live in a time where we can listen to a woman tell her story of triumph over abuse while also admiring her beauty and fantastic tits.
"3 replies" and I can't see a single one. RUclips might as well just not have a comment section if they don't want anyone posting their thoughts. It's getting so pathetic.
@@awakenotwoke1973 they were probably spam like I made $1 million in crypto and you can too. Why would you want to see those comments? And the only way that they would be hidden so quickly is if somebody ie another user, reported them as spam. No one is monitoring the comments and removing them six minutes after they were posted. Except, your fellow users.
@@southphillylilly So you speculate, then run with it like it's fact? All comments are algorithmically checked for wrongthink, but there's never any shortage of those spam comments. They don't care about them. I report them all the time, but they never get removed.
Monica, you're a thoughtful, sweet and lovely person who did not deserve what happened to you. Your mother was disturbed and said horrible things that were NOT TRUE. I hope you find joy and love. YOU DESERVE IT ❤
I am so deeply sorry for the unbelievable level of hurt your mum caused in your life. You are incredibly beautiful and smart wishing you healing and success. Thank you for sharing.
I've watched quite of few of these and this is the most heartbreaking one I've seen. I really hope Monica finds peace because she is a wonderful human being and deserves to be happy. People like her mother are the minority, most people genuinely want others be happy and loved. I truly feel that way for her and others, you are loved and deserve it.
I just want to give her a big hug. She is doing so amazingly well considering what her life has been. What a warrior. I hope one day she sees in herself what we all do here. ❤️❤️❤️
Heart breaking stuff...and not the life Monica deserved...at all! Thank you for sharing, and I wish her the peace she so richly deserves
My prayers and thoughts go out to people struggling and have went through any kind of hurt
I'm glad your still here girl I hope you can heal and live a life you want
Your god is worthless
I just want to hug her ❤ Monica, you’re so much better than your circumstances and I’m so happy you decided to share your story. I couldn’t imagine having to experience all that you have. Your feelings are valid and I’m so glad you’re here🥰
Monica, I am so sorry that you had to go through all these difficulties. The first step toward solving all of these problems is to love yourself. You are an intelligent lady. You have a very high emotional intelligence. You are equipped with the best tool: identifying your problems and their roots and speaking about them in clear words. I believe working in the porn industry, or modelling in OnlyFans will only worsen your situation. You deserve the bests, the calmest life, a family that loves you and a great career. I am sure if you start loving yourself, you will shine bright. Don't let your mothers' mental issue brings you down.
She deserves love, friendship and good things in life. She is a good person.
Hey Monica I really Hope Life Turns good for you and your relationship with your husband works out. He does sound like a good guy as he's been with you through so much and is maybe the only rock apart from your step father that has been there. I think you doing this talk and letting us appreciate your story you'll find new fans that will love you without conditions. All the best to you x
A huge respect for your battle, you're a warrior and a survivor! You matter and your life is worthy. The fact that you have a lot of self-awareness of not wanting to be a bad mother is an indicator that you will be a great one. The fact the you didn't become addicted to drugs or alcohol and you maintain control over your life despite of your trauma show your strength. You are a good person who deserves nothing but love, respect and happiness. Maybe therapy can do good to you, I hope you consider trying it. I wish you all the best, Monica!
You’re an amazing woman. You’re so well spoken and intelligent. You’re a survivor and you deserve to be happy.
Lol shes a internet whore with daddy issues this story been seen a thousand time
Yeah I only clicked on this because she has big chesticles
Monica!!!! You are such a sweetheart 😢YOU still are holding yourself together with such class and grace! You seem so so understanding!!! Huge hugs 🫂
That was a very emotional interview. Thanks for that.
I think as a society, we need to do a better job at having empathy for people & asking them what led them to certain paths before passing judgement. I’m glad she told us her story ❤
It starts with each of us, let others learn from your actions.
@@pseudokowski yep thats right
Shame on the doctors for doing a 4 month abortion 😤
Unless it’s men, we can just judge them as evil or losers and not care about their paths. Empathy is only for women
@@torachan23 cringe
Mannn, I can relate to her in soooo many ways. When she was talking I thought she was explaining my life for a second. Trauma is very hard to get thru. I’m still battling mine as I speak, it’s sooooo draining & hard. I just want to give her a big hug & let her know that she’s not alone. Monica, u are brave for speaking about your life. U are definitely worthy & deserve happiness. I hope that u eventually will have it. 🌹❤️
Baloney
I teared up every time she started to cry. She's just a hurt baby girl that needs lots of love. I hope she can find a reason to live every day...
Words cannot express how much this hurts me to even listen, it’s devastating what you had to go through. You start to question whether you are meant to live and feel at fault for what happened and I hope you understand that what was done to you is not your fault. Please get better, do what will make you proud in life.. we all have different views on things and unfortunately what you are doing now in the line of work is not my preference of things but that’s okay. I however have this respect for you than I do for half of the people i know. You are so strong. I am glad you are alive and have worked on bettering yourself for YOU. All we can hope for is for happiness, purpose and love. Don’t give up, keep going, you have spoken and have reached many peoples heart. I will pray for you tonight and will wish you nothing but the best. ❤️
She has a very kind and warm soul! I had a bad childhood too and I know it follows you for the rest of your life. I’m a mother myself now and I’m making everything better with him. It’s the best that happened in my life. He gives me this unconditional love. Wishing her all the best 🖤
Is his father around?
It takes a brave person to come onto Soft White Underbelly and tell their stories. Mark has a huge following and your story could potentially be seen by millions of people. I've learned a lot about the psychological underpinnings of folks behaviors from this channel. Hopefully by telling their stories they they can begin to find peace and start the healing process.